The Urchin

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello, Hi,
this is Officer Pete Eakins calling from the Federal Bureau
of International Affairs. I was looking to speak with Rosalind.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
This is she.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hello Roslin. Let me introduce myself one more time. My
name is Officer Pete Eakins and I'm calling from the
Federal Bureau of International Affairs.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Okay, how can I help you?

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Well, I need to speak with you about an incident
that happened recently while you were in Italy.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm not really aware of any incidents that I hope.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
I mean, I was in Italy, but there were no incidents.
Is in no incidence in Italy, not at.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
All, not that I'm aware of. It's just on vacation.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
I want to let you know we at the Bureau
of International Affairs take our job very seriously and we
have a lot of things to do. We're very busy
and we do not like the when people waste our time.
So oh yeah, well.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
I feel yeah, I am at work as well, so
I don't I just don't know what this is about.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Tell me about the urchin. That's why I'm calling. I'm
sorry about about the what the incident with the urchin? John,
You remember the thing I stepped on. It is not
a thing. It is a living creature. It is a
sea urchin. Yes, I need to ask you some questions
about the incident with the urchin.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Uh. I mean, we were just at the beach and
I was just in the water swimming and talking to
my friend and I put my feet down on a
rock and there was an urchin in the rock. And
that's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
God, I'm going to stop you right there. We stop
right because I need to remind you of something. As
an American traveling international, you are a representative of this country.
So you need to recording.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Do not swim on these rocks. There were no signs
other people were on the rock, like it was just normal.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
It would be a good idea to jump down there
and assault an urchin in Italian waters?

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Are you actually serious right now? Like, I don't understand.
It doesn't make any I'm sorry, but like it doesn't
make any sense.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Was the reason was the reason was injured? Is there
a reason with that? When you came back into the
United States, you did not report that you had a
scuffle with urchin because it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
It was an injury at a beach and the fisherman
pulled the spine out of my foot, and it's just
like he's like, Oh, this happens all the time. And
then like you know, like then they were sweet and
they give me prosecco, and like I was led to
this happens all the time, Like I wasn't doing anything wrong,
like you now you're telling me I did something wrong.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Well, when you got back to the US and you
were going through customs, you should have reported that you've
got in a fight with an urchin.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well why why? Why? I've been injured abroad several times.
There's nothing that says were you injured? Well, broad there's
something on the floor. They didn't even have to form
this time when I came back, So all sorts of
bacteria thing that wasn't even there.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
I'm assuming you and go to your own doctor and
get a chamydia test.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Why would I get a chamytea test for the urgent
communical diseases.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Urchins carry colmydia like crazy, and you may have brought
a strain of super commydia from that urgent back into
the United States of America and it is completely reckless.
Oh my god, you will have to face for.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Real, like what is going on?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Like really, what's going on right now? Is what's going on?
Is I am having trouble understanding why you would have
such an attitude with an officer from the Federal Bureau
of International Affairs. But it's fine, Oh yeah, fine. We
will be sending will be sending out a fine. If
it is not paid, it is punishable by jail time,
so you will be receiving a fine of twenty four

(03:38):
hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I'm so sure I'm gonna get a fine.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
I think this is total bolt.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
And by the way, you will be hearing from my
lawyers because I don't put up with harassment and you're
harassing me while I am at work.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
All right, I'll just tell you that Lilah sets you
up for this prank phone call, and then maybe you'll
calm down.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh my god, she's such a This is.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Actually double from the Jewbell Show doing a phone prank
on you and your friend. Lilah set you up.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
You're both dumb. You're both dumb, and you both owe
me drinks. This was very stressful and stupid, and I'm
suing you for emotional distress. And if you do not
buy me two bottles of champagne and give me free
concert tickets, then.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Bring the Urgent along with me. You're so dumb.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
She's stupider than you are. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Wake up every morning with jubile phone pranks

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