Second Date Update- What Am I Doing Wrong?

He said he’s been struggling with dates lately. To a point where he pretty much knows it has to be something he’s doing, but what? We’ll try and find out from his latest date. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time for second date update. Let us get
Matt on the line. Matt, how are you hey? Doing okay?
How are you doing? Well? We're doing all right. So
you've been single for how long now, about two and
a half years, and you're looking for a great relationship. Yes,
yes I am, and it's been hard to find somebody.

(00:22):
It has been. Um. Yeah, I've been on a lot
of first dates, but nothing's really gone beyond that. While
So you're using what bumble? Yes, yeah, it bumbles the
app the choice apt at the moment, and you met
someone on bumble I did, and honestly, yeah, she was
like everything I was looking for, like beautiful, sweet, funny,

(00:45):
But she didn't seem to be interested in me after
after the date and I don't honestly know what's going on.
So what did you do for the date? Um? We
went to the Thirsty Merchant down in the valley village
and you know, had drinks. I thought it was a
great night, like conversation flowed. And at the end of
the night she had to go, Like, you know, I

(01:07):
knew she was going. She said she had a thing beforehand,
but you know, I really genuinely thought I would see
her again, did you text her afterwards? She texted me
actually pretty quickly and said that she wasn't interested and
wished it, wished me the best. Really, yeah, right after

(01:29):
the date, right after the day. It seems harsh today,
you know, Susy, that seems a little like harsh. Yeah,
the thing but now but now you know, yeah, but
he wants to know what he did wrong? Right, Yes, yeah,
I I honestly don't get it. Like I thought it
was going so well, Like we were both laughing, we

(01:52):
were both talking like I don't get maybe an extrame
back in her life. And then she's just like, I
can't do this. And then you were like you were
like the guy right after the X and then she
was like, oh I can't. I know friends that have
been in that situation before. I was like the false
bounce back kind of Yeah, alright, so let's let's try

(02:12):
and call her next here, can you hang tight for
a second. Yeah, what's her name? What's her name? Her
name is Diana? Diana? Okay, so we're in the middle
of a second date. Update, Uh, Matt is on bumble
met a great girl went out and then afterwards she
said she sent a text saying Hey, this is not
going to work out, which it seems like harsh in

(02:36):
a way. Well, but wouldn't you wait a day? No,
you would do that after a date. I've done it before.
I feel like it's being direct and so Matt, you
know that it's not going to work out. You just
want to know what you did wrong? Yeah, because, like
I said, I've been on a lot of these dates
recently and they've all ended similarly where it's like I

(02:58):
thought it went well and yeah, I just want some feedback.
So there's a theme to them not wanting to go
out again. Yes, yes, I'm I'm a little nervous to
make the call. Can you do you? But Matt, think
about it. Do you have any idea what might be
not happening? Genuinely, I don't have a clue. Like, like

(03:24):
I said, conversation is only really well, these are pre
attractive people. I'd like to say I'm attractive to like
I got I got no idea. Okay, all right, well listen, Matt,
we have her on the other line. Be very quiet
and let's see what we can find out. Okay, it
sounds good to me. Thank you. Here we go. I'm
worried about this one, I mean pattern. Hello Diana, Hi, Hi,

(03:52):
thank you for coming on with us. It's kiss FM
sis any Tanya myself, Ryan, Nice to meet you. Hi,
Nice to meet you. So a bit random, but we're
calling about a guy named Matt that you met on bumble. Um. Yeah, okay,
I think I remember Matt. So you did go out
with him? Um? Yeah I went out with him? Um?

(04:19):
And how is the date? Um? Like, nothing special? There
was no spark mm hmm. So when you say when
you say no spark, that's it. There was nothing that
like went wrong, Like you didn't have a good time
at all during the date. Yeah, it was just another

(04:40):
like long line of disappointing dates. It wasn't anything special.
What what did you talk about on the date? Oh? Um?
Where do I even begin? Um? Well, like he asked
me out for drinks, and um, it was. It was

(05:00):
the weirdest thing ever. He doesn't drink, so I don't
know why he asked me out for drinks. And then
you know, we started talking and he just he started
asking me questions that he wanted to answer himself, Like
he asked me, do you like to work out? And
I'm like sometimes and he goes into this whole speech

(05:22):
about the importance of fitness and his daily routine. So
he talked about himself a lot, exactly exactly anything he
asked me. It was something that he wanted to talk about,
whether it was fitness, whether it was his job, which
is ridiculous. So, um, Diana, he's on the line with

(05:43):
us right now, Matt is here with us, and he
really wanted to know what he did wrong. Matt, does
that make sense to you? Uh that? Hey, Diana? Yeah,
that's that kind of checks out. Do you talk about
yourself a lot? That? I don't think I do? But well, well,

(06:07):
look this is a really experience. Now, yeah, I don't
know this is this is good, this is good, like
but it's not. It's not great. It's it's actually not great.
So walk me through it. You bring up fitness and
then you say, what, uh that you know, I have

(06:29):
this study routine going on at the CrossFit near me,
and um, it's like it's kind of like, you know,
my way of saying, Hey, I'm passionate about this. What
else are you passionate about? Um? Did he ask you that, Diana?
Did he did he ask you that question? Oh? Yes,
he asked me that question, and then he went all

(06:50):
in about how he does this crossfin how he eats healthy,
and how this is the most important thing because if
you don't do that, then there's all these repercussions. Oh,
it's like the shake from Love is blind? Who kept
asking girls that the guys shake from love is blind?
Remember he like went viral last season. Didn't watch because
he was asking anybody about their fitness that you're like shake. Yeah,

(07:14):
So I guess here's the thing it is. I think, right,
I think a date should have a healthy balance of
conversation where you ask questions and then you talk about
yourself and then ask more questions. And so it sounds
like you Matt talked about you a little too much, right,
fair sounds like it, Yeah, because you said this happens

(07:37):
all the time. Yeah, the fallout happens all the time.
So uh yeah, I guess I must be doing this.
Uh yeah, it sounds like a pattern. Alright, Well, let's
thank Diana. Diana, thank you for being candid with us.
And to Matt, yeah, sure you're not a have a

(08:00):
guy like you're cute. You just have to listen to people. Okay,
like makes a date about the girl Okay, I want
to talk. I don't want you to be talking the
whole time. So good luck, thank you, thank you, all right,
thank you, Diana, thank you, Matt, bye bye. Right. I
feel like we know people like that, right, that can't

(08:24):
help themselves but just talk about themselves. I mean, I
probably done it. You don't talk about yourself and not
not like sometimes right exactly, Sometimes I talked too much.
Sometimes I find myself too. I feel that's all of
our problems. I think, I think because I feel like
we feel like if I'm if it's a quiet date
and Nick it's quiet, I feel like I have to

(08:45):
fill dead air anything yet, right, and it's like my job.
So if I don't, then, but it's like a gut thing,
you know what I mean, tany. I also feel like
you have been out with that guy for sure, Right,
you've been out with guys like that. Yeah. But you
know what I think is the interesting thing that I
that we're not really honing it on, is it's all
about fitness. It's like he wants to make sure that

(09:07):
the girl that he's with is just as into fitness
as he is, which is a little weird. That's not weird.
I think so, because it's like, what is he scared?
Like you know what I mean, Like he needs to
make it a point to say he just he knows.
I think he's good looking, so I think he knows
he is. So he likes to talk about that, you know,
and wants his partner to do the same. There's a way,

(09:28):
there's a way to word it so it's not so intense,
but I understand trying to have the same you know,
interests as someone you're trying to date. Correct, So did
we help? I guess we help. Yeah, I think so.
I think he learns pretty good