December 25, 2025 • 43 mins
Best of 2025- It’s all about family - Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship. Recorded 2024.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FM
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning. Breakfast Club Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Everybody is the j n V, Jess, Hilarious, Charlamagne and
the guy. We are the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
We got a special guest in the belt because today's
National co Parenting Day, so we had to bring in
a man who I feel like him and Jess have
one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Room is here, Room is here. I got trouble already,
Room cause of you. You got it already. I got
in trouble cause of you already. Wow. Just say, I
want to know who gave Room some liquor this morning?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
And I was like, I didn't give it to it.
I just told him where the ball was. Yes, I said,
help yourself, help yourself.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
That's fine, And you said it was You said it
was apple juice. And so I was about to take
a step and I was.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Like, was not you have one apple juice? I just
ain't thank you. Was gonna pick the cup up.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
You and just have the best co parenting situation I've
ever witnessed. How did y'all get to this point?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Bro? And she thinks she my mother first and foremost,
But it took Tom. It took tom. I felt like,
when you take the feelings out of it and you
realize that the child is the most important part of
the relationship, because it's still a relationship, whether you're intimate
or not, you can do magical things, magical things. And
(01:17):
I think that me being a dad that I was
and that I am still today, I wanted that. I
felt like if we wasn't gonna be together, it was
no need for us to beef. We've created over time.
Whereas now she's my best friend, She's my safe space.
I feel like, you know, I can vent to her
because sometimes all the time I need it. But I
(01:37):
feel like when I was pouring into these other women,
they would use it against me. Whereas though now and
now that she's pregnant, I don't really call it and
say certain things because I know she's going through certain
things mentally now. So justice is always in my safe space. Though,
So it's like she's always been a person that I
go to a call, give me advice, some advice don't take,
(02:01):
but just to hear, but just to hear her give
it to you, just to know that she care, because
like I don't really have nobody.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
How did y'all, how did y'all meet how did you
meet Jess? And how did y'all start dating?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Back then? What did you see it?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
When it was like, oh, this is this is somebody
I want to know that. It's crazy because we grew
up on the smile.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
He's starting to smile because we grew up in the
same church. But we didn't know. Now, we didn't know
my mom, my mom was alive, my mom down. When
I was ten, my mom was alive. We went to
the same church. My mom died. My father like really
took me away from everybody. So now it was like
fast forward like seventeen. It's Facebook and it's after my
(02:37):
Space Facebook, and she came across my timeline and I
was like, okay, so I did a dot dot dot
and I put a basketball emoji. You thought she was
a w just shut up played with you, but she
bid on it. Take okay. She she was like what
(02:58):
I forgot what she said, But I was like, I
was just I think. I was like, I'm just coming
to get my ball. Coming to get was mine something?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
I said, what is this?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
And you want a basketball room? I needed to know
I've seen it somewhereball No I seen somebody do that, Like,
I don't know what I seen. Basketball is even years
okay twelve years ago. So I'm like, I don't know
I did it because I thought it was it was corny,
but I thought it was you know, but it worked.
It got our attention. What do you think just when
(03:26):
you saw the basketball?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I just I said, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I just typed that back and like he said, it
was my ball.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
It's my ball and I'm coming to get I'm coming
to get it or something like that, I'm coming to
get with mine. And I was like, okay, what's that?
I knew what I was giving, what it was about it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But it worked. It worked.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So you started talking, where was your first date? What
was your first when you started first talking to what was.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Your honest man, Jasica did a lot. I'm gonna say
this before a lot of these young guys became Jody.
I was Jody and our first date, big date. I'm
gonna say it was six flags, Okay, okay, all right,
(04:10):
doing it big. I never had a birth certificate that
my mom died. It was here. My dad didn't want
to come here to get it in New York because
he was born in I was going to Stanton Island,
so my dad didn't want to get it. So for
a long time I just had a college I D.
I was driving on a college I D. But Jessica,
it was the simplest one. So let me drive with
(04:33):
no ID. I met with no license. You know, I was.
I was responsible though, so I used to work at
the car wash. I used to clean it, shine it up,
jealum of tizing old nine yards. But our first date
with six Flags that morning, I went to get my
permit before we left for six Flags. But I felt
I went in there on my high horses. That's why
I felt at first big written. It was written, but
(04:57):
it was a computer written get written from failed. The
one way it said, put on your high beings or
your low beings when it's when it's like when it's
raining or something like that, or when it's the ground
most slippery. Did you have shades on? When no, I
ain't really wear shades like that. I did, but there
was another you know, yeah, but first big date, six Flags.
(05:18):
But before that we did a lot of other things.
But after that, it was we did a lot, like
she introduced me to a lot. Actually we both was
the same age. But she helped make me become We
got me, you're becoming a man, coming to man and
then yeah, then boom.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I just always says that you are you were overprotective,
make sure she was good. But she always said, you
can't fight.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh my god, she never seen me fight. We fought.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
I got that from she didn't say that.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Of course I'm not going to fight her. Bro Oh,
it's crazy because I just got a picture from the window.
You bust the minds one window? What I fish? What
what happened? Or you can't be here? Then if she
could break window from a fist out when you're trying
to fight that, what happened?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Wrong?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
To take a sip thinking about that? What happened? All right?
I was just talking. I was just in North Carolina
this weekend. I was just just talking about this, like
how my step brothers was like corny a ship right
my step Like, Jessica pull up, mind you ate together,
Jessica pulls up. I had a girl in the house.
(06:29):
So my brother like he comes to the top of
the steps like just at the door. I'm like, all right,
here I come. The nigga. Don't even wait for me
to come. He let her in. He let her in.
Oh boy, I walked right past him and his friends
with the girl, Jessica get in steps.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
That she wrote, but what did I see when I
walked down the steps? Jerne, you didn't see so And
then she tries to fassage this story.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Ashton, I had a portable rocking bassing that we put
in the trunk. Send it to her, bring it back.
Ashton was in a portable rocking joint. Me and the
girl was on on the bed. I had on basketball
short she had on her uniform pants. She's gonna say
she's been saying this was the middle of CEO. This
(07:15):
is correct. She's a correctional officer. So like she's sitting,
she's facing me, but her legs is like you know
how that go just to come down and said she
keeps she gonna say, oh, we was naked. We was
not naked. It had been happening. I don't get naked.
And when she tops it up, oh my gosh, she's
never gonna tells anyway, she banged the girl. You beat
(07:37):
up the girl. She didn't beat up bang popped us
and I picked up and walked up the stairs and
throw outside.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
You could never lift me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You never see what I'm saying. She never wants to
She never wants to admit the truth on the field.
Couldn't fight. No, I ain't.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Know she would fight or not, but she had the
one time and then she and she put on her
uniform and went unless went upstairs. Is I promised you
I wish it washon that that.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
No, my son was not in no portable nothing.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
He was on the floor on a blanket and the
cat was looking at him like he wanted to eat him.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, it was under the carpet. So I will never
lay my I wouldn't even lay on the floor. So
I was my son on the floor. My son was
in a portable bassinet. Okay, y'all were arguing about this
for eleven because you never want to tell you she
was drunk out of her mind, and I'm trying to
figure out I was just getting off for work. Had
(08:34):
you didn't damn you did not just get off work.
He was fired at that time, So.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
I got fired right after that. I was working at McDonald's.
That's when I was stealing. And then if I was drinking, Okay,
I was drinking on the Joe but I was at work,
so and then I came to get my son and
did not come.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Get your son because it was my weekend. So what
I was getting until Monday from day kid, why would
you coming? No, he was coming to be nosy.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
I didn't have to come to me.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You was looking for the passing your winter. If you
get your cousin, she because go home. Eleven years years old. Man,
that's my god. How did you break the women? That
her hands? You walked out see this car? No, I
threw ass out, not.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
That you was not that strong.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
You did not.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, I mean I had you and it was steps
jazz that right then.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
He could never ever eaten right now, could not do that.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
At the window.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Was just really really because he wouldn't give me my son.
She's give me my son. You called the police and
say I didn't call the police.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Call the police.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Never called the police. Yeah, I didn't call the police. Listen, everybody,
very everybody here this well, I'm from the jail is
right there, right around the corner. You can walk. It's
the women the commotion. Wal. I don't know how they came.
I thought my stepmother called my god, call one. It
was my step mother house, my god mother house. Somebody
(10:02):
called because I ain't called the police. My phone was
cracked because you cracked the phone, his phone, but he can.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Still everybody in the house had the phone.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
He called my he called the police on me and
then going. And then when the police came, I was
I just sat in my car.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
I was mad.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I was like, no, I can't move here to get
my son. And Nicole did tell me your come on
this pull off. He's not giving you the baby. He
not give you the baby. I was like, all right, cool,
but I was mad, So I didn't pull off the
police paddy wagon and pulled up and got out.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
And you was like, she right there? She?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
How was I trying to get you? How did I
try to get you locked up? When I'm the same
one call trying to bail you out with no money?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
I don't know why you ever thought you could build
somebody out.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
With no mindy. I ain't sleep that night out you
have a been you ever went through a woman phone?
Of course? Could you eat after that? You could? Well?
I couldn't. I'm comparing that to you when she went
to jail. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know,
And sick. I didn't. I didn't want jail. Why the
would I call the police. So how did you punch
(11:06):
the window? That's what I had brought up to it,
and then I just puned. He had a Honda Honda six. No,
it was fresh. It was my first car and it
just got adn't like it when I got it. Because
you are jealous now that Remember I had freedom. I
had freedom once I got it right much. She couldn't
(11:27):
call me say bring me my car back, Jody, right.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I never called you that.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I never called you.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
She took you to get the car. I ain't never
seen nobody when.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
When we when we when we got when I got
in the car. When I got in the car, she
was like, I don't like this ship.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
I said, yeah, so this means you real really be
doing you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Because she was doing you.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
He would drop me off the work and go act
like he in class.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I was a student then was to beat for my associates.
That's I did. I went to the class because that's
why you got off work two o'clock. You have to
be to work six o'clock. So I was getting up
five am every morning. We got to work. We got
here job by five forty five. I got out of
class at one thirty, did my homework for the fifteen minutes,
came the cold Spring, make Downalds and picked you up.
Then we went home. That was my routine. Money to Friday, won.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
A lot of things.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
But did you hurt your hand?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
No, it didn't hurtuntil I got in jail. I ain't
gonna lie when I got in jail, but it hurts.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
She sobered up.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
This is the crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I was not that drunk.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
So then when I got to guess who did my
jo damn gotten No, guess who did my intake?
Speaker 5 (12:30):
The damn girl who was with him?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
The one did you punched? Yeap, yes she went. She
didn't do that.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
She did the same girl that I popped yall.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
She did it, but she didn't say nothing because she
couldn't be caught up in nothing like that.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Got fired.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah she did.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
I straight sold on her like yeah, because I was like,
so you absolutely this is just a little wow.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
How could you actually want to fuck with a nigga
who laid his baby and the cats on the on
the carpet.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I ain't mad at that.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I am on that very much because you don't know
what she could have tried to do to you in
that situation, so you gotta put everything on.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
I was like, no, it was ghetto will be gotten,
and that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So now when you hear this story and you say
to yourself, why they there on National co Parent Day?
Because they are like the best of friends. Now they
call each other. Jess calls you her brother. How do
you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
How did y'all get there? Do you look at her
like your sister? You said, Mama, I was gonna say
what she said created that like my mother, Like when
we are the town and sh she had like my mother,
And I ain't gonna disclose too much. But she thinks
she my mother. No, I just know she likes to control,
like she know how I am though, like me and alone.
I think part of that controlling pause like don'tkay we
(13:46):
I bro be twenty of us. I don't want to
be with y'all. So guess what I'm gonna do?
Speaker 5 (13:51):
He can go out of town with these twenty people
and then be like.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
All right, I'm like, no, we could be all on sprinting.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
No sprint or whatever state we go to. I won't
even gonna go with a rental or slingshot or something
better not be raining. But I think that that controlling
part comes in just because she cares. And sometimes especially
when I'm under the influence, I've done dumbass ship so
as good as you know that. I don't know if
(14:20):
you heard just assist in the back everybody like you know,
everybody knows. But I hold myself accountable to that mind.
You Now, I ain't gonna say what I learned for
Woman six, cause I done did the dumbass ship over
and over again. But I think in that aspect, that's
when the mother of the mother with the v coming,
but the brother calling me brother and sisters were like,
honestly without the child like it it's there. It's it's
(14:42):
seemed like Amazon camera's off, like you can't fake this
or make this ship up.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Oh yeah, Rome started that room, started calling me sis first,
and then I started calling him bro. I you know,
I'm like, yeah, we do have like a sibling dynamic
in some way.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
You know, he's still confides in my mom.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
He like, my mom is our mother. Like it's not
it ain't nothing crazy, it's nothing intimate. Like seriously, I
always say this people be like, yeah, right, I can
literally walk past and I.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Don't do this.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
But what I'm saying, I can walk past this man nigked
and he does. They be like, girl, what like put
that out?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
I'm talking about seriously, like how y'all.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Know each other's spouses or each other's boyfriend and girlfriend?
Like how do you deal with his girl? And how
do you deal with with she told you.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Five?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Okay, I never told you. He had always tried. It's cool, though,
it's cool, get five. But this is this and now
this was the friction part and we got over that.
But this is the The friction part was I mom
my business. I'm getting her ship. But the friction part
was her getting into minds. But she's still a woman.
(15:49):
I'm still a man. So women tend to do that.
And this is not no shame to women. I don't
mean no disrespect by saying it, but I think women
tends to do that, especially a woman that care about you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
She said, sometimes you make bad decisions and she's there
as your sister to make sure you're good, regardless if
it's life relationship or whatever. Correct said with me personally,
I never really like I talked to her about certain things.
But I never really like my family to get into
no intimate situation. Yeah, because guess what y'all feel a
way about this person. However, I want, whether it's negative
(16:22):
of good. If I'm gonna deal with this person, I'm
gonna deal with her like the female can smack shit
out me yesterday.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Mm hmmm. I might get over and fuck it them all.
But it's like, that's why I always That's how I
was always able to distinguish the two, Like when Jessica
would have men, when she come to me, like, I
don't know, like I ain't never pillow talking or sneak
this or nothing, like I don't really care for like
it ain't nothing a nigga have that I don't, if
you put it in that sense. But when she comes
(16:49):
to me with a man, I tell her ain't right.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But both of y'all got to care though, because you're
gonna want to know who around your son.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I never did though, Yeah, I never so in the
beginning stage. Yeah, don't have this niggam summer. But I
grew out of that. So now it's I trust my
child mom enough to she won't bring no fans sit
around my child. So I don't say, oh, don't have
this nigga. That's never been a problem. It has been
a problem. Was motherfucker's envy me except for my last dog. Yeah,
(17:17):
my dogs? Who the dog? My dog? Chris, Chris, Chris,
My dog's my dog. I ain't gonna hold he. I
think he's the I think like honestly, me and jess
Man like, I think it's been times where a woman
didn't like me and her situation. But guess what, bye.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah more so on and yeah, it'll be more so
on his end because it's much more of them. But
the thing is, the thing is, like I don't like
when because I even tell him what he's doing wrong too, Like, yo,
don't cheer her like that.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
This is how how how you going to introduce me
to it?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Now?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Now I done got to nowhere, you know.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
And whether she had a kid or not, most of
the time it's the ones that have the kids. But
it's like, yo, you gotta be do right or just
be single, Like, don't keep hurting women in the process
of trying to find what you're looking for. I mean,
I know that's all a part of dating, but when
you have kids, it's different, you know, and then here
be like, oh, that's why I don't like you to
(18:16):
be getting into it, you know, And then I don't
like he he attracts a lot of toxic women to
like abusive relationships where women will put their hands on them.
I'm like, what, yeah, all right, you know, but he don't.
He's like, no, but I might be fucking with it
them all. What she just blacks your eye? What are
you talking about? You know what I'm saying, like, no,
we're not doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
But Claire, I had a black guy.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Okay, well she busts your nose whatever. Women have put.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Their hands on you, and that's why, and that's why
she's my dog. Like I think she's the only one,
really honestly, the one to get the fuck under my skin.
Like it's a certain word place she used and I
don't care what tone she used it in, but to
say that, it's like I was really never taught how
to love, like from I lost my mom at ten
(19:05):
years old. My heart, I move with my dad, and
when I move with my dad, my dad move my
dad in. My step mom, which is my mom now,
and my mom have a great relationship. That's my step
mom and my dad was married, but my dad was cheating,
like saying, like my dad, my dad showing me ship that, right,
(19:26):
I'm thinking cool. So like when even when I started
dealing with women and stuff like that, multiple women and
all that, my dad was like, yeah, so absolutely, And
I'm thinking it's cool because that's that's that's what I'm saying.
I'm being taught like and every man in my life
that I looked at as a role model me was
the same way. So it's like what you expect. But
(19:51):
the good thing is now it's like I'm old enough
now in mind, I ain't perfect. Now I'm seeing it.
I'm trying to, you know, change it. But I never
was taught to love properly, so and I never my
trust issues is fucked up from my dad, like brought
my trust issues met her because I'm seeing what he's doing.
But I'm saying when it's done to him, his reactions
(20:12):
like damn, my nigga, you were just doing this. How
you're gonna get mad? Right? So it's like every relationship
I've went into, I had an exploration date me, I
put an X ray on myself. I said, she's gonna
get she gonna get get what I'm getting, I'm gone
m hm. So I never really gave a woman the
what's the word I'm looking for. I never really gave
(20:33):
a woman commitment, not even commitment, but I've never give
a woman a chance to really love me. But even
with the kids, like even having kids, No, I haven't.
And this is like I said, no distracts to my
children moms. A lot of my my children came out
of vulnerability. Explain found on that. And I'm explaining that.
So I will meet a woman who I may feel
(20:54):
like she's what I need, another safe place or whatever
the case may be, but I'm already vulnerable from a
previous relationship. It have a child, knowing I don't want
to be with this woman. I don't want to. I
don't I really don't want to be with her, but
I feel like I'm forced to be with her because
it's a child. Mhm. And I've done that.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
You know multiple times you needed a therapist, not another baby,
momel I need correct.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
But at the time of need, at the time of vulnerability.
You know women, you know women, women can they be
massed up.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
And also you know, just on a accountability part which
he has taken over his recent years.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Is like you was looking for like.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Your mom and women, and you would never get that,
you know what I'm saying, because you was trying to
look for an emotional connection with with you know, nurturing
also and then like you was really really search searching
for Keisha. Keisha's his mother. You were really searching for
her and women. You know, that's a different type of love,
(22:01):
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I think different women. I always dealt with different women
because different women had certain what is it, certain things,
aspects of it, aspects of her. But like I never
knew how to be alone, bro, Like I would be
single and my own apartment and all that and let
it go and go move with a woman because I
(22:24):
never knew. Really I don't know how to I don't
like being lonely like so it's like a lot of
the times when I say this ship is real, Like
I don't know if a lot of other men like me.
But when being lonely, bro, you go through s, you
don't get how much money you got. I don't care
about none of that. But like I never really knew
how to be alone, Like I feel like I got
to have somebody laying next to me because even before
(22:45):
my mom died, my mom was sleepnaked. This is a
back then thing. How old were you with I was telling,
but I was a mommy's boy. Did you ever did
you ever really properly so grieving? No? I never really grieved.
All I did was I thought it was gonna help
by going to school for social work, because that's what
she was. But I never really probably a grieved and
that's a that's a process. Now. I do want to get,
(23:07):
you know, back in the gym. I do want to
get a therapist. I don't want everything else around me
to be intact so that I could fully commit, because
if I ain't fully committed, it ain't gonna work.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
And then also I also feel like your your dad
didn't get you any table dad.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Honestly, I felt like me personally. This is probably the
first time I said this, like I did. I think
my father really wanted me for a check man exactly
what I said, like the money and lied to me
for so long. I lost a scholarship because of my
dad because at the time where I wanted to go,
I wanted to get away from them, so I had
(23:42):
I had a couple of scholarships. I had like over
thirty acceptances. I got accept it to a school in Florida.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
I think, did your mom leave you money or.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah my mom?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah my mom, So my mom left your mind, maybe
the government gave you a job, so.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
My mom, My mom left money. My mom was getting
money in you know, social Security st So it's like
my dad was making bank like I did that case.
I ain't evenna say the calculations. Calculations is crazy. What's
your relationship with your dad now? Is we be okay?
You know, we all right? He you know, he's still
living with that regret, and I feel like that's why
we can't really get there. But yeah, like I feel
(24:19):
like my dad wanted me for a check manne a scholarship.
I lost scholarship. I lost a scholarship because August, like
twov's full school was supposed to start. I had got it.
I was leaving like my mom's side. He bought all
my dorm stuff and all of that. All my life,
my father always said, yeah, when you get eighteen, you're
gonna have money. You can go get your car, you
can go do what you want, you go to school,
(24:40):
whatever the case. Me to be all right, cool, I
get eighteen, I graduate. It's nothing there, I asked my father.
I'm like, well, there's still no answer to the father
never even answered, so I know I got a scholarship.
I had a partial scholarship, So a partial scholarship with
the you're paying the school and on and room and
board that's at the school I was going through. That
(25:01):
was about sixteen seventeen thousand semester. I had like a
forty two thousand dollars partial joint. So my dad was
always saying, all right, I got the rest. I got
the rest. So two weeks before I was supposed to leave,
So a month before I supposed to be, my family
got all my door and stuff. A week before I
was supposed to leave, my father called me up to
the room and he like, I ain't even say what
(25:22):
he said. I'm like, he like, you can't go to school.
I'm like, why not, Like nigga, I'm an age student,
Like I worked hard for this. I was an athlete.
I was a student. I ain't. I ain't getting no
office from basketball my junior senior year. So I gave
up and said, fuck it, I'm gonna fall back on
my grades. You always said I had the money. The
money wasn't there. He spent it all. And you know,
(25:45):
we turned eighteen, like seventeen and a half, it stopped coming.
But even if you even if it come again, when
I'm eighteen, that's one check, all the rest gone. And
my step mother used to always tell him my stump.
And I love my stepmother for this, and I wish
I'd known this when I was younger. But my step
mother used to always tell them put that money up.
But she never came to me because she didn't want
(26:06):
to overstep the boundaries of her husband. And I understood it.
But now that I'm grown and we have conversations now,
it's like I understood it because my father always tried
to make people hate me. I hated my step Yeah,
I hated my step mother growing up, but it was
never heard it was him. Lights ain't get cut off.
We had Christmases because of my stepmam. My dudes got paid,
my senior d I'm talking my middle school dues. Bro,
(26:27):
you're getting money for me. In my middle school dues,
my stepmother paid them. My step mother and my teachers
paid them. Wow. High school dues, my stepmother paid them.
And my friends I got two friends. Then Mother's paid
all that, so it was like my dad really crushed me. Man.
I told my dad a couple of weeks ago. Man
I said, bro, you hate me, not literally saying you
hate me, but you hate me so much because I
got you. I caught your ways. I said, what the
difference between me and I'm young and I'm chaying I'm
gonna change them. You're twenty years older than me, you
(26:49):
still doing the same thing. You want to break those cycles,
and I want to. It's not even me breaking a cycle, bro,
I just I don't like being like this, Like I
don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting women, don't
like I never really heard. I'm so loyal to my
friends that any little disloyal thing they do to me,
they cut off. So it's like the shit be hurting man.
And it's like, damn, I already had nobody. So then
(27:10):
when I got a child, mom, I cherish it. I
tell trash the really ones you love, the really ones
that's genuinely there for you, the ones that you ain't
got to do nothing for them, And I really love
you because guess what, at the end of the day,
when shit go, if shit go, bad. They're gonna be
the one that you can count on.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
You know, there's this thing when when you start going
to therapy you'll hear about. It's this thing called the
mother womb, and it's a type of attachment trauma that
instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned,
unworthy of care, and numb to their feelings.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
That does that feel like you, mass low loss, mass
lole loss. It's dumb yours. A child will affect you
as an adult, but it will not define you, That's right.
So it's like it's crazy because going to schools, Like, man,
you're reading this shit. I'm like, man, it's me. It's me,
Like you know, I'm thinking of my own therapist. But
you know, every therapist needs a therapist and that's how
they that's how they able to be effective. So it's like, man,
(28:04):
like you, no, I've been through I ain't have a
bad upbringing, but I've been through some traumatic situations, man,
and you know, like I ain't. They ain't gonna define
me like them babies and mom. Man, I love them babies.
I feel like if it weren't for my babies, I'd
have crashed out long time ago, long time ago. And
that's what I said. I got them babies, and out
of all my check I got, I got I got
two children moms like that. My last one, you know,
(28:25):
she she made no harm by certain things, but I
got that one, and I got this one to my left, man,
my dog. And it's like she give me hope every day.
She don't even know it, like even when you know,
we might not even argue, but like it be days
I wake up, she's doing You're all right? How you feeling?
Just because I know that she needed like when you
when you when you the the shoulders in the head
(28:47):
of families or communities, bro. Like it's a lot, you know, honestly,
I think them people need it the most. So I
give her flowers every day and I feel like man
like without her. Yeah, I think you're on the right back.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know, they stay healing the mother when first starts
with acknowledging the pain, correct and then seeking professional help.
What you want to do, cultivating healthy relationships, what y'all done,
and you're focusing on self care personal growth?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yes, right, you're definitely on the right path, just won't
get that mass time take time, you know, but it'll
be there.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
How did y'all that's the most thing, most I won't
say most important, one of the most important things. How
did y'all realize we don't have feelings for each other?
Speaker 5 (29:23):
No more?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Like? How did that just go away? Like y'all have
y'all love each other? But not in that way.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
I got my answer, you want to go first, you
can go first, because I'm still thinking.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
When I stopped caring about who she dealt with, when
I wouldn't even like I wouldn't even care, Like, how
did that take? Oh? Oh three years? So like when
action was like three yeah, it was still really yeah,
it was like three years. But at that but honestly
(29:52):
that three years like I had caught a big check.
So it's like when I I was almost half a
million a nigga, So it was like it was the
pain that I had. Whatever the case I would I
would pay. I was like just boy ship to block
it out. But other than that, like you ain't trying
to stun on her a little bit? No, I never, no,
(30:14):
I never, no, I never.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
I'm waiting for that.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I never intentionally stunted on her. I never did that.
Never I did everything she possibly could ask me to do.
And she said on a one of these souls something
about a B G. E. Bill And I'm addressed that
I never wanted. I'm addressed that now with the BC. So,
(30:38):
so I'm explaining her lights got cut off.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I got a five hundred thousand dollars checking Listen.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
No, it wasn't right then and there, but it's over
time because like mind a lot of my place. She
helped me. She helped me get a lot on the
back end, but in a time like I helped her.
Whatever the case, I didn't know she was moving with
a man.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
I didn't move with a man.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Well she moved man in with her. Yeah, okay, after
he had you and the dog too. Now in my business,
so I don't know that he's not there. So boom,
here's his So here's here's my logic. And I'm ana
say what I'm gonna say to her after I explained it,
my logic was, all right, man is in the house. Boom,
(31:19):
eager cut off? Right, I'm thinking, like damn, So she
like was wrong. I'm like, well, I take my son
with me. But that wasn't me talking. That was the
girlfriend I had talking.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
Oh, ship. You ain't tell me that.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I never told you that because as a woman, you
ain't trying to hear that, and as as a man
and you be and me, I don't want to hear that.
So I didn't want to tell you that because I
have felt less of a man. So yeah, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Gonna understand him if somebody else is smacking the cheeks, listen.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
So the girlfriend was living, so the girlfriend was.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Like, don't talk about no house ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
So the girlfriend was like, I took a certain amount
of mony out the bank. I did. She was with me,
she like, mind you the certain amount of money. I
had to call because I was gonna break it in half,
give it to Jessica and I take the rest. And
I was going me and Ashton man ask that's all
I did, shot man Ashton. So I was gonna give
(32:14):
it that. But the girl like, why are you giving
it to Jessica. I'm like, cause she needed and she
like I never said them here. I never said the reason.
I never said the reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I never
said the reason. Though. She was like, what exactly do
she needs? Because I know you ain't giving her. No,
she don't need a bag or nothing like that. I'm like, nah,
(32:35):
it's something else. She like, well, don't she got a
nigga living with her, And mind you, I'm drinking at
the time. Are you thinking the same thing. I'm like,
you wasn't even thinking that till she said it. I
wasn't thinking that, but I'm drinking. But when she say it,
because I'm not, like I said, bro like wives and girlfriends,
I've seen. I've seen. I've seen men crumble and go
(32:56):
against a family because of her wife or a girlfriend.
I've seen it, and I'm like, you know what, You're right?
Why you ain't as just though crazy people say yes,
Because I was a young emotional boy who just ran
into a bunch of money and came with that. The
bitches every my nigga, I'm hurt, hurt young man, got
a lot of money. Everybody and fucked me over. Nigga.
(33:17):
I got some money, I'm doing the fun. I wanted
to make myself happy, and that's how my nigga went broke.
Like it was times when I'm not happy, but I
go spend money just because I'm not like, Oh, the
coaches came out like that.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Everybody except me.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You that I was like and granted. Right now, on today,
I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologized for not taking
care of you the way I should have. And I'm
gonna take my glasses because for a long time that
ship hurt me. And it's like I never ever, ever,
(33:57):
especially I never ever ever ever meant to do that
to you. And it's like, now, that's why I even
I work so hard today and just try to even
just give you something. But in due time that she's
gonna come back. I ain't you know, I hadn't made
that shit back when broke again, made it back, went
(34:17):
broke again. But my biggest downfall, the comments denominade it
was alcohol and women. So that shit, them two problems
never allowed me to really reach my full potential because
even when I seen it a couple of years ago,
you've seen it twenty nineteen when I was single, when
I went moved back by myself, I ran that motherfucker up.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
Flourish ran.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's one thing I know how that I'm running up.
But women holding me back. Man, I'm sorry that I
didn't do what I was supposed to do, and a
lot of motherfuckers said what I was in your job?
The one you're done. I felt that was my duty.
But because I had certain people in my in my
ear that I thought had their best interest in me.
But when that bag ran out, they left. Yeah, I'm sorry.
(34:57):
I'm not a sorry person. I apologize, Okay.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I appreciate that, And but listen, I was not. I
was talking to a nigga. He moved in months after.
You think a nigga was gonna move into a dark house.
You think you think I wanted the niggas see how
I was living. No, And when you said, I asked you, like, yo,
can you just get my my lights on? I'll pay
you back. That's when I was scamming and doing all
that shit. That shit got slow too, So I'm like,
(35:21):
all right, you was like, no, I take my son.
Nobody taking my kid, not even as father. Like, as
long as Ash was scared of the dark, we was good,
you know what I'm saying. Like I still had candles,
we was playing, We was doing all that. We would
stay outside until it went until it got dark, and
then we would go in the house. And him, he
ain't never asked me why the lights ain't coming on.
It don't matter. So as long as he was good,
(35:42):
I was good. I just wanted to be able, you
know what I'm saying, and just be like, yo, get my.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Life and you should have. Well guess what that made
you a demon? And when I say demon, I said,
in the best way, that turned you up. And I
got to teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, might
leve me, yo, bro, Like I don't want you to
go through something bad to learn a lesson. I don't
think everybody should to go through something bad and learn
a lesson, But in your case, I feel like, yeah,
(36:09):
and put that battery in your back. You know, when
that battery came in your back, you ain't. You ain't
treat me no way. It took still a minute for
us to create that bond, but y'all have it now.
And I think y'all bo should give each other some
greades because y'all and I always was a hurt young man.
So right, But I love the story.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It shows the foundation and how you now and how
y'all treat each other.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
Now.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
You know, I don't know you, but the way she
talks about you on the radio, and like you said,
she is a mother, She protects you, she holds you down.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
I just love to see it. You know, sometimes I'll
be telling us stuff talking about room like that.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
He always didn't like.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Why you be talking about But I get it. She
don't mean no harm, but she don't like I said,
man like I wish a lot of other people but
take from us. And that's why this ship to be
on TV. That's why y'are writing a book. Yeah, book coming,
everything book coming? Yes, everything coming. You think the most
(37:07):
important thing?
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Because I don't want you all to save a lot
of this, but what's the most important thing. It takes
the cold parent. If y'all you're just leaveing on that
because the national core parents to day.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yo, I started off communication like a lot of people
be scared to hurt each other feelings and a lot
of people be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations, whether it's
about kids, unhashed differences whatever. Like one day me and
Rome just literally met up and just we just talked
about everything that. You know, he felt like I did
(37:38):
him wrong in certain situations, and then he felt like
like I will always try because he says, I'm controlling
a lot, and I do take that, you know what
I'm saying, Yeah, I own that. I do like I
was trying to control how he parents sometimes, like how
how he would raise Ash and all of that type
of stuff. We just put everything on the table and
just just was like, all right, you're moving forward because
(37:59):
it's really about Ash and that's really like when we
after that, it was like no looking back, It's like,
all right, whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Cool. It was just communication, but it takes I think
that it's a couple of things, man, communication, feelings out
of it, ego out.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
Of it, ego for sure, and.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Just man, both parties, both parties got to be in
it though. Man like I feel like you know now,
like even at my kids school and ship man like, dang,
you should the man And I think that's fucked up
kids that your kids school, my children, my own children.
I feel like, you know, the father is not a
norm so I always been. I ain't. It's not I want.
(38:41):
I adn't say a change it norm, but I've changed
it on. Like it's me. You ain't got to call
the Mather, you know, I didn't Maxim call your father. Yeah,
that's me called me. Don't call the others. I'm hands on.
I'm gonna be that and my oldest eleven man young,
I just sat to school, sat in the class with him.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
The whole day.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
They call you, but Ash called me on the side
my dad much.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
But that was the thing too. We had to she
had to learn, don't don't, don't try to take the
father from the child. Let me father him. Because I
refuse for my son to become a statistic I refuse
my son to become a young, hurt little boy. I
refuse from my son to grow up not knowing how
to love a woman. I refuse my son to be
so many things that his father was. I'm still young,
so I'm still you know, I told, I told Naia early.
(39:31):
I said, man, like you know one of my I'm
gonna write my right. I'm gonna write my rights to
my boys.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I got still unlearning, unlearning right direct correct you, unlearning
to learn.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
When this co parents ain't easy man, and I used
to be.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
I used to be hold on him.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
How he was so hard on my son, like no,
like you like's gotta want to talk to you. You got
to make him want to talk to you, like he
used to like, come and talk to me about things.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
He was scared to go to.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
His father about now because it was any abusive relationships anything.
It was just like I can't talk today. You know.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
It was my son problem, and I like to said,
I'm creating a young man man. My some problem was
he don't like confrontation. Not confrontation, but he don't like
to confront a man. You. When I say that me
his father, he don't like to And I tell her,
I said, bro, you don't like something. You tell me
(40:22):
I'm not like my father. Shut the fuck up. Oh
I'm your father. No, no, ain't none of that same
bron We go to McDonald's and i'd be like, all right,
do you six? Oh dad, I don't want that. All right,
what you want it's the same concept. I get his
head done. Now you want to hair, Oh dad, I
don't like that. Tell me. Don't go back and tell
your mother. That's why I'm getting mad because he was
just with me and I just asked you. He ain't
(40:43):
say nothing. You want to communicate. I want to communicate.
When you communicate with me, you look me in my
eyes and tell me, Dad, I don't want this. You
ain't gotta be disrespectful. When you said I want to
my baby getting better, but I'm here. So it's like
I don't know. Man, it's not hard easy, it's fun.
You have to make it, make it a little bit.
(41:04):
But it's like, I don't like to do that. It's
just man like. I don't know. As a mom is
different than when a dad raising. I'm doing everything that
I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my squell.
I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted
my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted
my dad to come to my basketball game, my baseball game.
My dad been a one baseball game out of four years,
two basketball games out of four years. You got to
(41:25):
make sure you're raising your child out of out of level.
And I don't want to live here. And that's that
I was scared of my father in my mouth. I
got big bush, I got a busted whip. Multip All
fathers raised this.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Multip All fathers raisus how to figure because they didn't
want us to end up going down the same path
they went down.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
So we got to figure out how to raise our
kids out of love. But you know, if mom's moms
get this, and I think I got that, And I
told my dad a couple of weeks ago, bro, like
you know he because he always come to me with
my father. I don't want to hear that ship. I
tell I'm a man now. He ain't gonna tell me
how the fuck up. I don't want to hear that ship.
Your father wasn't farther. He was a provider. I'm a nurturer.
I'm my dad father a nurture of my baby. Even
(42:03):
your response to your dad is angry because he always
My response to my dad is what he's given to me. Now,
like I'm a man now. So it's like, bro, I
don't have to take that ship. I leave.
Speaker 5 (42:15):
But he's trying to explain.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Trying to explain that they don't just now. He's still
ain't figured it out. So it's like you in the
room and this meet and be in the room because
you know, I don't call you about this type of stuff.
But this is me being in the room. It ain't
is he. It's a different story. Man. I got somebody
you talk to him. I got a therapist, I got
a good I got a lot of them. No, no, no,
I'm not saying it like that. I'm talking about a
(42:38):
real professional, and I got a Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
I don't want to require what you want I think
I got somebody in mind for you.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
I want woman, you want a woman. I got you.
I don't like man, I got you. Yeah, I got you.
You know exactly what you talk to. That's cool, man.
I'm always open to it. Man, But you know, other
than that, like you gotta want it for yourself. And
do you you know I've been there, man, Okay, cut back.
You know, my biggest thing was just cutting back on
the alcohol. Like now I do it for recregation. Thank
(43:08):
you for this is recording. Drink coffee. Take a shot now,
just drink drink coffee. This is a great conversation.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
I'm sure it's a discussion that will continue on not
even just the monkst you know, just in Rome. But
this is a month anybody out there, you're dealing with
corporate issue. But I think Rome, you know, Rome is
talking to a lot of different issues that a lot
of us men go through, you know what I mean.
So I'm happy that you was vulnerable this morning.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
That's right, you know what I mean. And their book
is coming soon via a Black privileged published Simon the
Shoes all right, well it's wrong. Yes, it's the breakfast
Club in the morning. Wake that ass up in the morning.
The Breakfast Club
Wake that ass up in the morning. Breakfast Club Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Everybody is the j n V, Jess, Hilarious, Charlamagne and
the guy. We are the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
We got a special guest in the belt because today's
National co Parenting Day, so we had to bring in
a man who I feel like him and Jess have
one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Room is here, Room is here. I got trouble already,
Room cause of you. You got it already. I got
in trouble cause of you already. Wow. Just say, I
want to know who gave Room some liquor this morning?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
And I was like, I didn't give it to it.
I just told him where the ball was. Yes, I said,
help yourself, help yourself.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
That's fine, And you said it was You said it
was apple juice. And so I was about to take
a step and I was.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Like, was not you have one apple juice? I just
ain't thank you. Was gonna pick the cup up.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
You and just have the best co parenting situation I've
ever witnessed. How did y'all get to this point?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Bro? And she thinks she my mother first and foremost,
But it took Tom. It took tom. I felt like,
when you take the feelings out of it and you
realize that the child is the most important part of
the relationship, because it's still a relationship, whether you're intimate
or not, you can do magical things, magical things. And
(01:17):
I think that me being a dad that I was
and that I am still today, I wanted that. I
felt like if we wasn't gonna be together, it was
no need for us to beef. We've created over time.
Whereas now she's my best friend, She's my safe space.
I feel like, you know, I can vent to her
because sometimes all the time I need it. But I
(01:37):
feel like when I was pouring into these other women,
they would use it against me. Whereas though now and
now that she's pregnant, I don't really call it and
say certain things because I know she's going through certain
things mentally now. So justice is always in my safe space. Though,
So it's like she's always been a person that I
go to a call, give me advice, some advice don't take,
(02:01):
but just to hear, but just to hear her give
it to you, just to know that she care, because
like I don't really have nobody.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
How did y'all, how did y'all meet how did you
meet Jess? And how did y'all start dating?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Back then? What did you see it?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
When it was like, oh, this is this is somebody
I want to know that. It's crazy because we grew
up on the smile.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
He's starting to smile because we grew up in the
same church. But we didn't know. Now, we didn't know
my mom, my mom was alive, my mom down. When
I was ten, my mom was alive. We went to
the same church. My mom died. My father like really
took me away from everybody. So now it was like
fast forward like seventeen. It's Facebook and it's after my
(02:37):
Space Facebook, and she came across my timeline and I
was like, okay, so I did a dot dot dot
and I put a basketball emoji. You thought she was
a w just shut up played with you, but she
bid on it. Take okay. She she was like what
(02:58):
I forgot what she said, But I was like, I
was just I think. I was like, I'm just coming
to get my ball. Coming to get was mine something?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
I said, what is this?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
And you want a basketball room? I needed to know
I've seen it somewhereball No I seen somebody do that, Like,
I don't know what I seen. Basketball is even years
okay twelve years ago. So I'm like, I don't know
I did it because I thought it was it was corny,
but I thought it was you know, but it worked.
It got our attention. What do you think just when
(03:26):
you saw the basketball?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I just I said, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I just typed that back and like he said, it
was my ball.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
It's my ball and I'm coming to get I'm coming
to get it or something like that, I'm coming to
get with mine. And I was like, okay, what's that?
I knew what I was giving, what it was about it.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But it worked. It worked.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So you started talking, where was your first date? What
was your first when you started first talking to what was.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Your honest man, Jasica did a lot. I'm gonna say
this before a lot of these young guys became Jody.
I was Jody and our first date, big date. I'm
gonna say it was six flags, Okay, okay, all right,
(04:10):
doing it big. I never had a birth certificate that
my mom died. It was here. My dad didn't want
to come here to get it in New York because
he was born in I was going to Stanton Island,
so my dad didn't want to get it. So for
a long time I just had a college I D.
I was driving on a college I D. But Jessica,
it was the simplest one. So let me drive with
(04:33):
no ID. I met with no license. You know, I was.
I was responsible though, so I used to work at
the car wash. I used to clean it, shine it up,
jealum of tizing old nine yards. But our first date
with six Flags that morning, I went to get my
permit before we left for six Flags. But I felt
I went in there on my high horses. That's why
I felt at first big written. It was written, but
(04:57):
it was a computer written get written from failed. The
one way it said, put on your high beings or
your low beings when it's when it's like when it's
raining or something like that, or when it's the ground
most slippery. Did you have shades on? When no, I
ain't really wear shades like that. I did, but there
was another you know, yeah, but first big date, six Flags.
(05:18):
But before that we did a lot of other things.
But after that, it was we did a lot, like
she introduced me to a lot. Actually we both was
the same age. But she helped make me become We
got me, you're becoming a man, coming to man and
then yeah, then boom.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I just always says that you are you were overprotective,
make sure she was good. But she always said, you
can't fight.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh my god, she never seen me fight. We fought.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
I got that from she didn't say that.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Of course I'm not going to fight her. Bro Oh,
it's crazy because I just got a picture from the window.
You bust the minds one window? What I fish? What
what happened? Or you can't be here? Then if she
could break window from a fist out when you're trying
to fight that, what happened?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Wrong?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
To take a sip thinking about that? What happened? All right?
I was just talking. I was just in North Carolina
this weekend. I was just just talking about this, like
how my step brothers was like corny a ship right
my step Like, Jessica pull up, mind you ate together,
Jessica pulls up. I had a girl in the house.
(06:29):
So my brother like he comes to the top of
the steps like just at the door. I'm like, all right,
here I come. The nigga. Don't even wait for me
to come. He let her in. He let her in.
Oh boy, I walked right past him and his friends
with the girl, Jessica get in steps.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
That she wrote, but what did I see when I
walked down the steps? Jerne, you didn't see so And
then she tries to fassage this story.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Ashton, I had a portable rocking bassing that we put
in the trunk. Send it to her, bring it back.
Ashton was in a portable rocking joint. Me and the
girl was on on the bed. I had on basketball
short she had on her uniform pants. She's gonna say
she's been saying this was the middle of CEO. This
(07:15):
is correct. She's a correctional officer. So like she's sitting,
she's facing me, but her legs is like you know
how that go just to come down and said she
keeps she gonna say, oh, we was naked. We was
not naked. It had been happening. I don't get naked.
And when she tops it up, oh my gosh, she's
never gonna tells anyway, she banged the girl. You beat
(07:37):
up the girl. She didn't beat up bang popped us
and I picked up and walked up the stairs and
throw outside.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
You could never lift me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You never see what I'm saying. She never wants to
She never wants to admit the truth on the field.
Couldn't fight. No, I ain't.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Know she would fight or not, but she had the
one time and then she and she put on her
uniform and went unless went upstairs. Is I promised you
I wish it washon that that.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
No, my son was not in no portable nothing.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
He was on the floor on a blanket and the
cat was looking at him like he wanted to eat him.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, it was under the carpet. So I will never
lay my I wouldn't even lay on the floor. So
I was my son on the floor. My son was
in a portable bassinet. Okay, y'all were arguing about this
for eleven because you never want to tell you she
was drunk out of her mind, and I'm trying to
figure out I was just getting off for work. Had
(08:34):
you didn't damn you did not just get off work.
He was fired at that time, So.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
I got fired right after that. I was working at McDonald's.
That's when I was stealing. And then if I was drinking, Okay,
I was drinking on the Joe but I was at work,
so and then I came to get my son and
did not come.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Get your son because it was my weekend. So what
I was getting until Monday from day kid, why would
you coming? No, he was coming to be nosy.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
I didn't have to come to me.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You was looking for the passing your winter. If you
get your cousin, she because go home. Eleven years years old. Man,
that's my god. How did you break the women? That
her hands? You walked out see this car? No, I
threw ass out, not.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
That you was not that strong.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
You did not.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, I mean I had you and it was steps
jazz that right then.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
He could never ever eaten right now, could not do that.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
At the window.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Was just really really because he wouldn't give me my son.
She's give me my son. You called the police and
say I didn't call the police.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Call the police.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Never called the police. Yeah, I didn't call the police. Listen, everybody,
very everybody here this well, I'm from the jail is
right there, right around the corner. You can walk. It's
the women the commotion. Wal. I don't know how they came.
I thought my stepmother called my god, call one. It
was my step mother house, my god mother house. Somebody
(10:02):
called because I ain't called the police. My phone was
cracked because you cracked the phone, his phone, but he can.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Still everybody in the house had the phone.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
He called my he called the police on me and
then going. And then when the police came, I was
I just sat in my car.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
I was mad.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I was like, no, I can't move here to get
my son. And Nicole did tell me your come on
this pull off. He's not giving you the baby. He
not give you the baby. I was like, all right, cool,
but I was mad, So I didn't pull off the
police paddy wagon and pulled up and got out.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
And you was like, she right there? She?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
How was I trying to get you? How did I
try to get you locked up? When I'm the same
one call trying to bail you out with no money?
Speaker 5 (10:42):
I don't know why you ever thought you could build
somebody out.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
With no mindy. I ain't sleep that night out you
have a been you ever went through a woman phone?
Of course? Could you eat after that? You could? Well?
I couldn't. I'm comparing that to you when she went
to jail. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know,
And sick. I didn't. I didn't want jail. Why the
would I call the police. So how did you punch
(11:06):
the window? That's what I had brought up to it,
and then I just puned. He had a Honda Honda six. No,
it was fresh. It was my first car and it
just got adn't like it when I got it. Because
you are jealous now that Remember I had freedom. I
had freedom once I got it right much. She couldn't
(11:27):
call me say bring me my car back, Jody, right.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I never called you that.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I never called you.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
She took you to get the car. I ain't never
seen nobody when.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
When we when we when we got when I got
in the car. When I got in the car, she
was like, I don't like this ship.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
I said, yeah, so this means you real really be
doing you.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Because she was doing you.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
He would drop me off the work and go act
like he in class.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I was a student then was to beat for my associates.
That's I did. I went to the class because that's
why you got off work two o'clock. You have to
be to work six o'clock. So I was getting up
five am every morning. We got to work. We got
here job by five forty five. I got out of
class at one thirty, did my homework for the fifteen minutes,
came the cold Spring, make Downalds and picked you up.
Then we went home. That was my routine. Money to Friday, won.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
A lot of things.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
But did you hurt your hand?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
No, it didn't hurtuntil I got in jail. I ain't
gonna lie when I got in jail, but it hurts.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
She sobered up.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
This is the crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I was not that drunk.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
So then when I got to guess who did my
jo damn gotten No, guess who did my intake?
Speaker 5 (12:30):
The damn girl who was with him?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
The one did you punched? Yeap, yes she went. She
didn't do that.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
She did the same girl that I popped yall.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
She did it, but she didn't say nothing because she
couldn't be caught up in nothing like that.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Got fired.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah she did.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
I straight sold on her like yeah, because I was like,
so you absolutely this is just a little wow.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
How could you actually want to fuck with a nigga
who laid his baby and the cats on the on
the carpet.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I ain't mad at that.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I am on that very much because you don't know
what she could have tried to do to you in
that situation, so you gotta put everything on.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
I was like, no, it was ghetto will be gotten,
and that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
So now when you hear this story and you say
to yourself, why they there on National co Parent Day?
Because they are like the best of friends. Now they
call each other. Jess calls you her brother. How do
you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
How did y'all get there? Do you look at her
like your sister? You said, Mama, I was gonna say
what she said created that like my mother, Like when
we are the town and sh she had like my mother,
And I ain't gonna disclose too much. But she thinks
she my mother. No, I just know she likes to control,
like she know how I am though, like me and alone.
I think part of that controlling pause like don'tkay we
(13:46):
I bro be twenty of us. I don't want to
be with y'all. So guess what I'm gonna do?
Speaker 5 (13:51):
He can go out of town with these twenty people
and then be like.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
All right, I'm like, no, we could be all on sprinting.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
No sprint or whatever state we go to. I won't
even gonna go with a rental or slingshot or something
better not be raining. But I think that that controlling
part comes in just because she cares. And sometimes especially
when I'm under the influence, I've done dumbass ship so
as good as you know that. I don't know if
(14:20):
you heard just assist in the back everybody like you know,
everybody knows. But I hold myself accountable to that mind.
You Now, I ain't gonna say what I learned for
Woman six, cause I done did the dumbass ship over
and over again. But I think in that aspect, that's
when the mother of the mother with the v coming,
but the brother calling me brother and sisters were like,
honestly without the child like it it's there. It's it's
(14:42):
seemed like Amazon camera's off, like you can't fake this
or make this ship up.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Oh yeah, Rome started that room, started calling me sis first,
and then I started calling him bro. I you know,
I'm like, yeah, we do have like a sibling dynamic
in some way.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
You know, he's still confides in my mom.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
He like, my mom is our mother. Like it's not
it ain't nothing crazy, it's nothing intimate. Like seriously, I
always say this people be like, yeah, right, I can
literally walk past and I.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Don't do this.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
But what I'm saying, I can walk past this man nigked
and he does. They be like, girl, what like put
that out?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
I'm talking about seriously, like how y'all.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Know each other's spouses or each other's boyfriend and girlfriend?
Like how do you deal with his girl? And how
do you deal with with she told you.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Five?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Okay, I never told you. He had always tried. It's cool, though,
it's cool, get five. But this is this and now
this was the friction part and we got over that.
But this is the The friction part was I mom
my business. I'm getting her ship. But the friction part
was her getting into minds. But she's still a woman.
(15:49):
I'm still a man. So women tend to do that.
And this is not no shame to women. I don't
mean no disrespect by saying it, but I think women
tends to do that, especially a woman that care about you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
She said, sometimes you make bad decisions and she's there
as your sister to make sure you're good, regardless if
it's life relationship or whatever. Correct said with me personally,
I never really like I talked to her about certain things.
But I never really like my family to get into
no intimate situation. Yeah, because guess what y'all feel a
way about this person. However, I want, whether it's negative
(16:22):
of good. If I'm gonna deal with this person, I'm
gonna deal with her like the female can smack shit
out me yesterday.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Mm hmmm. I might get over and fuck it them all.
But it's like, that's why I always That's how I
was always able to distinguish the two, Like when Jessica
would have men, when she come to me, like, I
don't know, like I ain't never pillow talking or sneak
this or nothing, like I don't really care for like
it ain't nothing a nigga have that I don't, if
you put it in that sense. But when she comes
(16:49):
to me with a man, I tell her ain't right.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But both of y'all got to care though, because you're
gonna want to know who around your son.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I never did though, Yeah, I never so in the
beginning stage. Yeah, don't have this niggam summer. But I
grew out of that. So now it's I trust my
child mom enough to she won't bring no fans sit
around my child. So I don't say, oh, don't have
this nigga. That's never been a problem. It has been
a problem. Was motherfucker's envy me except for my last dog. Yeah,
(17:17):
my dogs? Who the dog? My dog? Chris, Chris, Chris,
My dog's my dog. I ain't gonna hold he. I
think he's the I think like honestly, me and jess
Man like, I think it's been times where a woman
didn't like me and her situation. But guess what, bye.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah more so on and yeah, it'll be more so
on his end because it's much more of them. But
the thing is, the thing is, like I don't like
when because I even tell him what he's doing wrong too, Like, yo,
don't cheer her like that.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
This is how how how you going to introduce me
to it?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Now?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Now I done got to nowhere, you know.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
And whether she had a kid or not, most of
the time it's the ones that have the kids. But
it's like, yo, you gotta be do right or just
be single, Like, don't keep hurting women in the process
of trying to find what you're looking for. I mean,
I know that's all a part of dating, but when
you have kids, it's different, you know, and then here
be like, oh, that's why I don't like you to
(18:16):
be getting into it, you know, And then I don't
like he he attracts a lot of toxic women to
like abusive relationships where women will put their hands on them.
I'm like, what, yeah, all right, you know, but he don't.
He's like, no, but I might be fucking with it
them all. What she just blacks your eye? What are
you talking about? You know what I'm saying, like, no,
we're not doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
But Claire, I had a black guy.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Okay, well she busts your nose whatever. Women have put.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Their hands on you, and that's why, and that's why
she's my dog. Like I think she's the only one,
really honestly, the one to get the fuck under my skin.
Like it's a certain word place she used and I
don't care what tone she used it in, but to
say that, it's like I was really never taught how
to love, like from I lost my mom at ten
(19:05):
years old. My heart, I move with my dad, and
when I move with my dad, my dad move my
dad in. My step mom, which is my mom now,
and my mom have a great relationship. That's my step
mom and my dad was married, but my dad was cheating,
like saying, like my dad, my dad showing me ship that, right,
(19:26):
I'm thinking cool. So like when even when I started
dealing with women and stuff like that, multiple women and
all that, my dad was like, yeah, so absolutely, And
I'm thinking it's cool because that's that's that's what I'm saying.
I'm being taught like and every man in my life
that I looked at as a role model me was
the same way. So it's like what you expect. But
(19:51):
the good thing is now it's like I'm old enough
now in mind, I ain't perfect. Now I'm seeing it.
I'm trying to, you know, change it. But I never
was taught to love properly, so and I never my
trust issues is fucked up from my dad, like brought
my trust issues met her because I'm seeing what he's doing.
But I'm saying when it's done to him, his reactions
(20:12):
like damn, my nigga, you were just doing this. How
you're gonna get mad? Right? So it's like every relationship
I've went into, I had an exploration date me, I
put an X ray on myself. I said, she's gonna
get she gonna get get what I'm getting, I'm gone
m hm. So I never really gave a woman the
what's the word I'm looking for. I never really gave
(20:33):
a woman commitment, not even commitment, but I've never give
a woman a chance to really love me. But even
with the kids, like even having kids, No, I haven't.
And this is like I said, no distracts to my
children moms. A lot of my my children came out
of vulnerability. Explain found on that. And I'm explaining that.
So I will meet a woman who I may feel
(20:54):
like she's what I need, another safe place or whatever
the case may be, but I'm already vulnerable from a
previous relationship. It have a child, knowing I don't want
to be with this woman. I don't want to. I
don't I really don't want to be with her, but
I feel like I'm forced to be with her because
it's a child. Mhm. And I've done that.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
You know multiple times you needed a therapist, not another baby,
momel I need correct.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
But at the time of need, at the time of vulnerability.
You know women, you know women, women can they be
massed up.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
And also you know, just on a accountability part which
he has taken over his recent years.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Is like you was looking for like.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Your mom and women, and you would never get that,
you know what I'm saying, because you was trying to
look for an emotional connection with with you know, nurturing
also and then like you was really really search searching
for Keisha. Keisha's his mother. You were really searching for
her and women. You know, that's a different type of love,
(22:01):
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I think different women. I always dealt with different women
because different women had certain what is it, certain things,
aspects of it, aspects of her. But like I never
knew how to be alone, bro, Like I would be
single and my own apartment and all that and let
it go and go move with a woman because I
(22:24):
never knew. Really I don't know how to I don't
like being lonely like so it's like a lot of
the times when I say this ship is real, Like
I don't know if a lot of other men like me.
But when being lonely, bro, you go through s, you
don't get how much money you got. I don't care
about none of that. But like I never really knew
how to be alone, Like I feel like I got
to have somebody laying next to me because even before
(22:45):
my mom died, my mom was sleepnaked. This is a
back then thing. How old were you with I was telling,
but I was a mommy's boy. Did you ever did
you ever really properly so grieving? No? I never really grieved.
All I did was I thought it was gonna help
by going to school for social work, because that's what
she was. But I never really probably a grieved and
that's a that's a process. Now. I do want to get,
(23:07):
you know, back in the gym. I do want to
get a therapist. I don't want everything else around me
to be intact so that I could fully commit, because
if I ain't fully committed, it ain't gonna work.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
And then also I also feel like your your dad
didn't get you any table dad.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Honestly, I felt like me personally. This is probably the
first time I said this, like I did. I think
my father really wanted me for a check man exactly
what I said, like the money and lied to me
for so long. I lost a scholarship because of my
dad because at the time where I wanted to go,
I wanted to get away from them, so I had
(23:42):
I had a couple of scholarships. I had like over
thirty acceptances. I got accept it to a school in Florida.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
I think, did your mom leave you money or.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah my mom?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah my mom, So my mom left your mind, maybe
the government gave you a job, so.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
My mom, My mom left money. My mom was getting
money in you know, social Security st So it's like
my dad was making bank like I did that case.
I ain't evenna say the calculations. Calculations is crazy. What's
your relationship with your dad now? Is we be okay?
You know, we all right? He you know, he's still
living with that regret, and I feel like that's why
we can't really get there. But yeah, like I feel
(24:19):
like my dad wanted me for a check manne a scholarship.
I lost scholarship. I lost a scholarship because August, like
twov's full school was supposed to start. I had got it.
I was leaving like my mom's side. He bought all
my dorm stuff and all of that. All my life,
my father always said, yeah, when you get eighteen, you're
gonna have money. You can go get your car, you
can go do what you want, you go to school,
(24:40):
whatever the case. Me to be all right, cool, I
get eighteen, I graduate. It's nothing there, I asked my father.
I'm like, well, there's still no answer to the father
never even answered, so I know I got a scholarship.
I had a partial scholarship, So a partial scholarship with
the you're paying the school and on and room and
board that's at the school I was going through. That
(25:01):
was about sixteen seventeen thousand semester. I had like a
forty two thousand dollars partial joint. So my dad was
always saying, all right, I got the rest. I got
the rest. So two weeks before I was supposed to leave,
So a month before I supposed to be, my family
got all my door and stuff. A week before I
was supposed to leave, my father called me up to
the room and he like, I ain't even say what
(25:22):
he said. I'm like, he like, you can't go to school.
I'm like, why not, Like nigga, I'm an age student,
Like I worked hard for this. I was an athlete.
I was a student. I ain't. I ain't getting no
office from basketball my junior senior year. So I gave
up and said, fuck it, I'm gonna fall back on
my grades. You always said I had the money. The
money wasn't there. He spent it all. And you know,
(25:45):
we turned eighteen, like seventeen and a half, it stopped coming.
But even if you even if it come again, when
I'm eighteen, that's one check, all the rest gone. And
my step mother used to always tell him my stump.
And I love my stepmother for this, and I wish
I'd known this when I was younger. But my step
mother used to always tell them put that money up.
But she never came to me because she didn't want
(26:06):
to overstep the boundaries of her husband. And I understood it.
But now that I'm grown and we have conversations now,
it's like I understood it because my father always tried
to make people hate me. I hated my step Yeah,
I hated my step mother growing up, but it was
never heard it was him. Lights ain't get cut off.
We had Christmases because of my stepmam. My dudes got paid,
my senior d I'm talking my middle school dues. Bro,
(26:27):
you're getting money for me. In my middle school dues,
my stepmother paid them. My step mother and my teachers
paid them. Wow. High school dues, my stepmother paid them.
And my friends I got two friends. Then Mother's paid
all that, so it was like my dad really crushed me. Man.
I told my dad a couple of weeks ago. Man
I said, bro, you hate me, not literally saying you
hate me, but you hate me so much because I
got you. I caught your ways. I said, what the
difference between me and I'm young and I'm chaying I'm
gonna change them. You're twenty years older than me, you
(26:49):
still doing the same thing. You want to break those cycles,
and I want to. It's not even me breaking a cycle, bro,
I just I don't like being like this, Like I
don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting women, don't
like I never really heard. I'm so loyal to my
friends that any little disloyal thing they do to me,
they cut off. So it's like the shit be hurting man.
And it's like, damn, I already had nobody. So then
(27:10):
when I got a child, mom, I cherish it. I
tell trash the really ones you love, the really ones
that's genuinely there for you, the ones that you ain't
got to do nothing for them, And I really love
you because guess what, at the end of the day,
when shit go, if shit go, bad. They're gonna be
the one that you can count on.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
You know, there's this thing when when you start going
to therapy you'll hear about. It's this thing called the
mother womb, and it's a type of attachment trauma that
instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned,
unworthy of care, and numb to their feelings.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
That does that feel like you, mass low loss, mass
lole loss. It's dumb yours. A child will affect you
as an adult, but it will not define you, That's right.
So it's like it's crazy because going to schools, Like, man,
you're reading this shit. I'm like, man, it's me. It's me,
Like you know, I'm thinking of my own therapist. But
you know, every therapist needs a therapist and that's how
they that's how they able to be effective. So it's like, man,
(28:04):
like you, no, I've been through I ain't have a
bad upbringing, but I've been through some traumatic situations, man,
and you know, like I ain't. They ain't gonna define
me like them babies and mom. Man, I love them babies.
I feel like if it weren't for my babies, I'd
have crashed out long time ago, long time ago. And
that's what I said. I got them babies, and out
of all my check I got, I got I got
two children moms like that. My last one, you know,
(28:25):
she she made no harm by certain things, but I
got that one, and I got this one to my left, man,
my dog. And it's like she give me hope every day.
She don't even know it, like even when you know,
we might not even argue, but like it be days
I wake up, she's doing You're all right? How you feeling?
Just because I know that she needed like when you
when you when you the the shoulders in the head
(28:47):
of families or communities, bro. Like it's a lot, you know, honestly,
I think them people need it the most. So I
give her flowers every day and I feel like man
like without her. Yeah, I think you're on the right back.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know, they stay healing the mother when first starts
with acknowledging the pain, correct and then seeking professional help.
What you want to do, cultivating healthy relationships, what y'all done,
and you're focusing on self care personal growth?
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yes, right, you're definitely on the right path, just won't
get that mass time take time, you know, but it'll
be there.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
How did y'all that's the most thing, most I won't
say most important, one of the most important things. How
did y'all realize we don't have feelings for each other?
Speaker 5 (29:23):
No more?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Like? How did that just go away? Like y'all have
y'all love each other? But not in that way.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
I got my answer, you want to go first, you
can go first, because I'm still thinking.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
When I stopped caring about who she dealt with, when
I wouldn't even like I wouldn't even care, Like, how
did that take? Oh? Oh three years? So like when
action was like three yeah, it was still really yeah,
it was like three years. But at that but honestly
(29:52):
that three years like I had caught a big check.
So it's like when I I was almost half a
million a nigga, So it was like it was the
pain that I had. Whatever the case I would I
would pay. I was like just boy ship to block
it out. But other than that, like you ain't trying
to stun on her a little bit? No, I never, no,
(30:14):
I never, no, I never.
Speaker 5 (30:16):
I'm waiting for that.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I never intentionally stunted on her. I never did that.
Never I did everything she possibly could ask me to do.
And she said on a one of these souls something
about a B G. E. Bill And I'm addressed that
I never wanted. I'm addressed that now with the BC. So,
(30:38):
so I'm explaining her lights got cut off.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I got a five hundred thousand dollars checking Listen.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
No, it wasn't right then and there, but it's over
time because like mind a lot of my place. She
helped me. She helped me get a lot on the
back end, but in a time like I helped her.
Whatever the case, I didn't know she was moving with
a man.
Speaker 5 (30:57):
I didn't move with a man.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Well she moved man in with her. Yeah, okay, after
he had you and the dog too. Now in my business,
so I don't know that he's not there. So boom,
here's his So here's here's my logic. And I'm ana
say what I'm gonna say to her after I explained it,
my logic was, all right, man is in the house. Boom,
(31:19):
eager cut off? Right, I'm thinking, like damn, So she
like was wrong. I'm like, well, I take my son
with me. But that wasn't me talking. That was the
girlfriend I had talking.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
Oh, ship. You ain't tell me that.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I never told you that because as a woman, you
ain't trying to hear that, and as as a man
and you be and me, I don't want to hear that.
So I didn't want to tell you that because I
have felt less of a man. So yeah, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Gonna understand him if somebody else is smacking the cheeks, listen.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
So the girlfriend was living, so the girlfriend was.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Like, don't talk about no house ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
So the girlfriend was like, I took a certain amount
of mony out the bank. I did. She was with me,
she like, mind you the certain amount of money. I
had to call because I was gonna break it in half,
give it to Jessica and I take the rest. And
I was going me and Ashton man ask that's all
I did, shot man Ashton. So I was gonna give
(32:14):
it that. But the girl like, why are you giving
it to Jessica. I'm like, cause she needed and she
like I never said them here. I never said the reason.
I never said the reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I never
said the reason. Though. She was like, what exactly do
she needs? Because I know you ain't giving her. No,
she don't need a bag or nothing like that. I'm like, nah,
(32:35):
it's something else. She like, well, don't she got a
nigga living with her, And mind you, I'm drinking at
the time. Are you thinking the same thing. I'm like,
you wasn't even thinking that till she said it. I
wasn't thinking that, but I'm drinking. But when she say it,
because I'm not, like I said, bro like wives and girlfriends,
I've seen. I've seen. I've seen men crumble and go
(32:56):
against a family because of her wife or a girlfriend.
I've seen it, and I'm like, you know what, You're right?
Why you ain't as just though crazy people say yes,
Because I was a young emotional boy who just ran
into a bunch of money and came with that. The
bitches every my nigga, I'm hurt, hurt young man, got
a lot of money. Everybody and fucked me over. Nigga.
(33:17):
I got some money, I'm doing the fun. I wanted
to make myself happy, and that's how my nigga went broke.
Like it was times when I'm not happy, but I
go spend money just because I'm not like, Oh, the
coaches came out like that.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Everybody except me.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You that I was like and granted. Right now, on today,
I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologized for not taking
care of you the way I should have. And I'm
gonna take my glasses because for a long time that
ship hurt me. And it's like I never ever, ever,
(33:57):
especially I never ever ever ever meant to do that
to you. And it's like, now, that's why I even
I work so hard today and just try to even
just give you something. But in due time that she's
gonna come back. I ain't you know, I hadn't made
that shit back when broke again, made it back, went
(34:17):
broke again. But my biggest downfall, the comments denominade it
was alcohol and women. So that shit, them two problems
never allowed me to really reach my full potential because
even when I seen it a couple of years ago,
you've seen it twenty nineteen when I was single, when
I went moved back by myself, I ran that motherfucker up.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
Flourish ran.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's one thing I know how that I'm running up.
But women holding me back. Man, I'm sorry that I
didn't do what I was supposed to do, and a
lot of motherfuckers said what I was in your job?
The one you're done. I felt that was my duty.
But because I had certain people in my in my
ear that I thought had their best interest in me.
But when that bag ran out, they left. Yeah, I'm sorry.
(34:57):
I'm not a sorry person. I apologize, Okay.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I appreciate that, And but listen, I was not. I
was talking to a nigga. He moved in months after.
You think a nigga was gonna move into a dark house.
You think you think I wanted the niggas see how
I was living. No, And when you said, I asked you, like, yo,
can you just get my my lights on? I'll pay
you back. That's when I was scamming and doing all
that shit. That shit got slow too, So I'm like,
(35:21):
all right, you was like, no, I take my son.
Nobody taking my kid, not even as father. Like, as
long as Ash was scared of the dark, we was good,
you know what I'm saying. Like I still had candles,
we was playing, We was doing all that. We would
stay outside until it went until it got dark, and
then we would go in the house. And him, he
ain't never asked me why the lights ain't coming on.
It don't matter. So as long as he was good,
(35:42):
I was good. I just wanted to be able, you
know what I'm saying, and just be like, yo, get my.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Life and you should have. Well guess what that made
you a demon? And when I say demon, I said,
in the best way, that turned you up. And I
got to teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, might
leve me, yo, bro, Like I don't want you to
go through something bad to learn a lesson. I don't
think everybody should to go through something bad and learn
a lesson, But in your case, I feel like, yeah,
(36:09):
and put that battery in your back. You know, when
that battery came in your back, you ain't. You ain't
treat me no way. It took still a minute for
us to create that bond, but y'all have it now.
And I think y'all bo should give each other some
greades because y'all and I always was a hurt young man.
So right, But I love the story.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It shows the foundation and how you now and how
y'all treat each other.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
Now.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
You know, I don't know you, but the way she
talks about you on the radio, and like you said,
she is a mother, She protects you, she holds you down.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
I just love to see it. You know, sometimes I'll
be telling us stuff talking about room like that.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
He always didn't like.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Why you be talking about But I get it. She
don't mean no harm, but she don't like I said,
man like I wish a lot of other people but
take from us. And that's why this ship to be
on TV. That's why y'are writing a book. Yeah, book coming,
everything book coming? Yes, everything coming. You think the most
(37:07):
important thing?
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Because I don't want you all to save a lot
of this, but what's the most important thing. It takes
the cold parent. If y'all you're just leaveing on that
because the national core parents to day.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yo, I started off communication like a lot of people
be scared to hurt each other feelings and a lot
of people be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations, whether it's
about kids, unhashed differences whatever. Like one day me and
Rome just literally met up and just we just talked
about everything that. You know, he felt like I did
(37:38):
him wrong in certain situations, and then he felt like
like I will always try because he says, I'm controlling
a lot, and I do take that, you know what
I'm saying, Yeah, I own that. I do like I
was trying to control how he parents sometimes, like how
how he would raise Ash and all of that type
of stuff. We just put everything on the table and
just just was like, all right, you're moving forward because
(37:59):
it's really about Ash and that's really like when we
after that, it was like no looking back, It's like,
all right, whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Cool. It was just communication, but it takes I think
that it's a couple of things, man, communication, feelings out
of it, ego out.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
Of it, ego for sure, and.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Just man, both parties, both parties got to be in
it though. Man like I feel like you know now,
like even at my kids school and ship man like, dang,
you should the man And I think that's fucked up
kids that your kids school, my children, my own children.
I feel like, you know, the father is not a
norm so I always been. I ain't. It's not I want.
(38:41):
I adn't say a change it norm, but I've changed
it on. Like it's me. You ain't got to call
the Mather, you know, I didn't Maxim call your father. Yeah,
that's me called me. Don't call the others. I'm hands on.
I'm gonna be that and my oldest eleven man young,
I just sat to school, sat in the class with him.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
The whole day.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
They call you, but Ash called me on the side
my dad much.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
But that was the thing too. We had to she
had to learn, don't don't, don't try to take the
father from the child. Let me father him. Because I
refuse for my son to become a statistic I refuse
my son to become a young, hurt little boy. I
refuse from my son to grow up not knowing how
to love a woman. I refuse my son to be
so many things that his father was. I'm still young,
so I'm still you know, I told, I told Naia early.
(39:31):
I said, man, like you know one of my I'm
gonna write my right. I'm gonna write my rights to
my boys.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I got still unlearning, unlearning right direct correct you, unlearning
to learn.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
When this co parents ain't easy man, and I used
to be.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
I used to be hold on him.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
How he was so hard on my son, like no,
like you like's gotta want to talk to you. You got
to make him want to talk to you, like he
used to like, come and talk to me about things.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
He was scared to go to.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
His father about now because it was any abusive relationships anything.
It was just like I can't talk today. You know.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
It was my son problem, and I like to said,
I'm creating a young man man. My some problem was
he don't like confrontation. Not confrontation, but he don't like
to confront a man. You. When I say that me
his father, he don't like to And I tell her,
I said, bro, you don't like something. You tell me
(40:22):
I'm not like my father. Shut the fuck up. Oh
I'm your father. No, no, ain't none of that same
bron We go to McDonald's and i'd be like, all right,
do you six? Oh dad, I don't want that. All right,
what you want it's the same concept. I get his
head done. Now you want to hair, Oh dad, I
don't like that. Tell me. Don't go back and tell
your mother. That's why I'm getting mad because he was
just with me and I just asked you. He ain't
(40:43):
say nothing. You want to communicate. I want to communicate.
When you communicate with me, you look me in my
eyes and tell me, Dad, I don't want this. You
ain't gotta be disrespectful. When you said I want to
my baby getting better, but I'm here. So it's like
I don't know. Man, it's not hard easy, it's fun.
You have to make it, make it a little bit.
(41:04):
But it's like, I don't like to do that. It's
just man like. I don't know. As a mom is
different than when a dad raising. I'm doing everything that
I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my squell.
I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted
my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted
my dad to come to my basketball game, my baseball game.
My dad been a one baseball game out of four years,
two basketball games out of four years. You got to
(41:25):
make sure you're raising your child out of out of level.
And I don't want to live here. And that's that
I was scared of my father in my mouth. I
got big bush, I got a busted whip. Multip All
fathers raised this.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Multip All fathers raisus how to figure because they didn't
want us to end up going down the same path
they went down.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
So we got to figure out how to raise our
kids out of love. But you know, if mom's moms
get this, and I think I got that, And I
told my dad a couple of weeks ago, bro, like
you know he because he always come to me with
my father. I don't want to hear that ship. I
tell I'm a man now. He ain't gonna tell me
how the fuck up. I don't want to hear that ship.
Your father wasn't farther. He was a provider. I'm a nurturer.
I'm my dad father a nurture of my baby. Even
(42:03):
your response to your dad is angry because he always
My response to my dad is what he's given to me. Now,
like I'm a man now. So it's like, bro, I
don't have to take that ship. I leave.
Speaker 5 (42:15):
But he's trying to explain.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Trying to explain that they don't just now. He's still
ain't figured it out. So it's like you in the
room and this meet and be in the room because
you know, I don't call you about this type of stuff.
But this is me being in the room. It ain't
is he. It's a different story. Man. I got somebody
you talk to him. I got a therapist, I got
a good I got a lot of them. No, no, no,
I'm not saying it like that. I'm talking about a
(42:38):
real professional, and I got a Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
I don't want to require what you want I think
I got somebody in mind for you.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
I want woman, you want a woman. I got you.
I don't like man, I got you. Yeah, I got you.
You know exactly what you talk to. That's cool, man.
I'm always open to it. Man, But you know, other
than that, like you gotta want it for yourself. And
do you you know I've been there, man, Okay, cut back.
You know, my biggest thing was just cutting back on
the alcohol. Like now I do it for recregation. Thank
(43:08):
you for this is recording. Drink coffee. Take a shot now,
just drink drink coffee. This is a great conversation.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
I'm sure it's a discussion that will continue on not
even just the monkst you know, just in Rome. But
this is a month anybody out there, you're dealing with
corporate issue. But I think Rome, you know, Rome is
talking to a lot of different issues that a lot
of us men go through, you know what I mean.
So I'm happy that you was vulnerable this morning.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
That's right, you know what I mean. And their book
is coming soon via a Black privileged published Simon the
Shoes all right, well it's wrong. Yes, it's the breakfast
Club in the morning. Wake that ass up in the morning.
The Breakfast Club
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.