June 8, 2025 • 24 mins
The Black Effect Presents... Carefully Reckless!
Hey y'all! Today's episode is dedicated to one mess. Have you ever moved on from an ex, just been happy and living your best life ... then they spin the block and complicate everything? Well, you're not alone! Tap in!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can'tfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects, And just.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to you.
Had another carefully reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess and we
got my girl Taylor in here today. Say hey to Taylor,
y'are say, let's say hey to the babyols. All right,
so listen, I'm gonna just jump right in and read
the story.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
This one is really really good.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Obviously it's not a voice note, and she did say
something about it not being a voice not too She
was like, my man listens to carefully Reckless on iHeart
Andie listens to you fix people mess on Breakfast Club.
So she didn't want to leave me a voice note.
So here it goes, Hey, Jass, I need you bad child.
So one of my children, one of my childhood friends,
(00:54):
was my very first boyfriend in life.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
He was the big time drug dealer in our city.
We're from Saint Louis. Oh lord, I've loved him from
a child to an adult. We've been together on and
off for about fifteen years. By the grace of God.
I never got pregnant by him, but we always talked
about having kids together and him making me a wife,
not about a.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Grace of God. He yo.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
During the time of our relationship, he was back and
forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that
would make a girl want out, And all the years
we were together, I had to deal with that and
more house raised and long sleepless nights.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
House raised.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh yeah, fuck all less when somebody raised. Okay, so Taylor,
when somebody raised your house, they're looking for a.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Fucking drug dealer. House raise. Oh no, no, no, no,
no house raise, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
He never cheated as far as I know, but being
the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and
tired for me as I got older. He never cheated
as far as I know, but being the girlfriend of
a drug dealer became very old and tired for me
as I got older.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I gave him an ultimatum, me or that life.
He just couldn't let it go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Right then, he said he had a goal and as
soon as he hits it, he's gonna come marry me
and we can start building our life together. Now this
was about three years ago. The last time we spoke
on this. He went to jail for a year after
that and been home for about two years.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
During that year, I met a gentleman and he was
literally everything I was missing. He was everything I wanted
in my on again off again x We were so
compatible in the early months of us dating Jess. This
man showed me real love and a passionate way. I
swear he is my person. A few months ago, my
ex pops up out of nowhere at my job now
(02:48):
I work at the bank.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I thought he was coming to rob it. What the
fuck the fuck? Hello, Well, just kidding, bitch, caty fucking.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Just kidding like this the fuck He was telling me
he needed to take me out and that he needed
to talk and update me on his life. Job came
to her job because yeah job. Maybe she didn't say that, yes,
she said. I did get to meet with him, and
he briefly ran down all of his life changes to me.
(03:17):
He joined the church, he is actually Oh my good,
he's actually owner of a business. He started his own
tech company and he has a trucking company.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Okay goes. He turned legit. This was the one that
was in jail. We came out but so was she
just not in contact with him? Probably not because she
had already met another dude. This is the crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Okay, yeah, so he had told her about you know
updated let me say, didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Say how long she was in contact with him though,
because he did a lot. He did a lot and
that look. Yeah, well he was on for two years
and this was a few months ago he came.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
He probably was trying to get a ship together before
he came back, because she had gave him that last
ultimatum like look me or this, and he was like, yo,
I can't lead a game yet.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I got a goal. I'm trying to earn a certain amount.
You know how drug Deale's talk.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I know it so well because I was dealing with
a lot of them back in my day, you know,
so period he came home. Now he's reformed and shit
and he's basically like ghosts James Patrick. He was trying
to be legit, trying to be legit and everything. And
she said, wow, crazy thing is I felt so good
talking to him. All the memories flushed.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I was back in love. Only thing is my current
guy proposed to me.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
No, proposed to me weeks weeks before that girl, and
I said, yes, crazy, I.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Mean break it all. They didn't get married yet, and
so she basically asking what should I do?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Jess, I find myself in bed laying next to my
fiance thinking about my ex because he is everything I
wanted this life with. However, I went on ahead and
got engaged, not expect acting him to ever change or
grow up, and he did well.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
First hurting her to see the receipts. Yeah, what the
drug dealers talking about? Just what he said, what he's saying.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
And then I just don't jump out there and just
like go, you know, just because he came to you.
And although he been out for two years, so he
probably did take.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
All this time to get like, you know, but he's
not doing the things he used to do, got businesses
that company.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I mean, take time is good. But I'm saying like.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
The only reason why I'm like hesitating with that is
just because sometimes I feel like things will happen how it's.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Supposed to happen, yeah, and and everything that glitters is
not gold.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But also just like if you're supposed to be together, y'all,
y'all would have been.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Y'all would have been together, right, Yeah, like, and I
guess you tried to wait and all.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
That, but to go back and then on and off
for fifteen years. Yeah, because Jesus you let him. You
gave him.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Fifteen years of your life and he gave fifteen years
of his life to the streets. That's a long time
before you grow up. And shit, now, other guys take
longer to grow up. But damn, nigga, now supposed to
drop everything I'm doing because you are home now and
you decided to get it right in your life. But
that's what tells me when he told her that when
she gave him the ultimatum the first time, and she
(06:26):
was like, yo, me or this, and he was like, no,
not right now. I can't choose you right now because
I have a goal to get to. I'm not gonna
be in this shit forever. But I am like, I'm good,
Like I got a goal and I'm gonna be out
of this shit. I just got to do some things
right now. When I wonder if she agreed then, like
(06:48):
did she say did she just leave and say all right,
since you're not choosing me whatever, have a nice life whatever,
or did she agree in that moment all right, I'll
wait for you, because if so, that's why.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
The fuck he came back and just expected for her
to be right there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,
but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen now. Like you said,
I wonder if she was keeping in touch with him
that whole year he was in jail, or how long
was he out before you knew he was out? And
how did y'all have a conversation? How long before the
bank when he shopped, when he popped up at your job?
Did you see him it was the last time you've
(07:28):
seen him before you saw him in the bank. Was
the time you know you gave him that ultimatum? Was
that three years prior? Or like?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
What the fuck was that? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I think, honestly, because she didn't give us that part
of it. I think she honestly didn't talk to him
purposely because she was trying to get past them, and.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That's how she ended up meeting her person. Yeah, I
know that's the thing, and that motherfucker probably looked good too, But.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I guess it's one of those things too, like takeaway,
like all y'all got butterflies.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Now, yeah you real? I don't know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know. And then what's with this new fiancee?
Is he everything that you wanted? Yes? She did listening
for him. Listen, I'm I'm gonna reread it. She said.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
During that year that he was in jail, I met
a gentleman and he was literally everything I was missing.
He was everything I wanted and my on again off
again x We were so compatible in the early months
of us dating. Just this man showed me real love.
So then I swear he is my person. So then
I don't think and that nigga proposed he knew what
(08:37):
he had.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Exactly, so I don't think like you're about to give
your whole thing to do that, all this moving on
that you did, like all this healing.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But when she ever healed, if she sat down with
with ex convict one time and then all came back
and lay laying in bed next to your.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Fiance, that was her person. The X kind was ever her.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Well. In the beginning, she says, to one of my
childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. It
was a big He was a big time drug dealer
in our city. So yeah, I've loved him from a
child to an adult. We've been together on and off
for fifteen years. No, and then that, by the grace
of God, I never got pregnant by him. That tells
you something that's screaming, like, I've always had one leg
and one leg out.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I don't think she should do it, Yeah, because she
don't want to follow her. I think you're still holding
on to maybe a cute little fantasy, but.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
You know, and then you feel a bit of like
obligation because your childhood friends, you know, Yeah, you've known
him since he was younger.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Y'all kind of grew up together. He's known you.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
He knows what to say to get back in your
good graces. That about you probably didn't change. That's how
all the butterflies started rushing back, and all the feelings
started swaying in, you know, coming in and colliding on
you and shit, and now you feel like you're in
love with your ex all over again. Laying next to
your person that night, thinking about this nigga. I don't
even think it's so much she thinking about this nigga.
I think she's thinking about what she's going to do,
(10:01):
and it's stressing her to funk out what she wants
to do.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and then yeah, so that's a hard decision. I
don't think she should drop everything and then what about
this scenario? Right?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So look, this is also a thing as well, right,
because I've seen it time and time again growing up
in Baltimore City, being good friends with drug dealers, not
even drug dealers that I used to deal with, but
being good friends with drug dealers. My nigga, they'll get
into beefs and shit. She said, shootouts and all that
type of shit.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
They'll get into beefs and ship will I was. I
was building up to that tailor.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Damn shit, bitch. I was ready to set it up perfectly.
I was taking too long.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
He said, Yeah, what if the pants come back down?
Shit and the listeners knew where I was going?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh anyway, so yea, I must still want to say.
I'm gonna still just say it. So, girl, I've seen
in my life where the past comes back to watch
and done.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
If he's gotten the shootouts, obviously he's doing that's been
doing the shooting and ship because he ain't get killed
or shot.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
She didn't say he got shot, you know, maybe got
he's been shot at.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
What if somebody waited until later and then it's y'all
out together and this nigga get shot up and killed
or what if you get killed being with him? You
know you said he was a big time drug dealer
in Saint Louis. I mean, I'm sorry, Missouri, but goddamn,
we know certain cities and drugs.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
That ship is different. It gets deep. And then just
watched the show Power, I'm sorry for I mean for
what like what for reference? Like absolutely or watch the
wire fuck Power? Watch the Yeah what mm hmm? Even
(11:56):
snow Fall, Yeah, like I mean, I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Not I'm just saying, no, that's more realistic. Snowfall is
way more realistic than Power.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I ain't girl. The ghosts and Tommy should have been
died the first episode.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
The way, but even think about like he's saying he
got inn tech company and not to like say yeah,
but I just like his.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
He could his roots is in the streets. He could
still be in the street.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
That it could be unto wash his money, like he's
just trying to wash his money with legit businesses and shade.
You know, he could still have now he may not
be the one that's on the streets in the streets
distributing anymore, but he could be the plug. He could
be he still got his hands in it some type
of way. And I'm not saying, we're not saying he does,
but that could still be the case. Like you said,
so like say, let's say it. So see your receipts.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Don't just jump out the fucking window or not not
even delve. Don't even dive into that, you know, like
you said, just just know, just steer clear of that life.
That's that's what you you saying. You made a very
and your passes that you read to me, like during
the time of our relationship, he was back and forth
to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would
(13:07):
make a girl want out.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You've been wanted out.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
You just felt some type of devotion to him because
he's also your childhood friend. You said, in all the
years we were together, I had to deal with that
and more house raised, long sleepless nights. And you said
he never cheated as far as you know, which is fine,
But that's not even the tip of that shit.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That that's everything that's watching your back.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
That's you being even affiliated with a nigga who got
a target on him every day. You know what I'm saying,
You don't want to marry nobody, go throw your life
away for somebody that gotta still watch his back because
he's done so much dirt and his in his earlier life.
You know, I mean earlier in his life. You know,
you just that shit is dangerous. You know, you don't
want to be one of those girls. You really really don't,
(13:47):
you know, And you seem like you got a really
really good thing going and I would I would honestly
hate what if yeah to the what if yeah from
a long time ago. Yo. The way you speak about
your fiance is amazing. It's like immagular, Like you can't
even see yourself without this man, you know, And you
met him at a perfect time, right after you get
(14:09):
a guy ultimatum and you kind of cut it off
with him. He went to jail, so he couldn't even
he wasn't even out to disrupt your relationship or whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You met him at a great time. You leave that
chapter where the fuck it was at.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Now we got a commercial and if you click off
this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen,
you have to meet up with this nigga again, and
you got to tell him because one thing about drug
dealers or ex drug dealers or whatever they used to
getting what they want, and he gonna start that hagging out.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
You know what I'm saying, Like he's not going to
stop trying to prove to you that he is ready
to be with you now, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Even if he did turn you know, turn great or
do a whole three sixty with his life, you feel me,
it's still just I think things happened, like Taylor was saying,
things happened for a reason.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
You know, it was a reason why you were supposed
to meet your new guy.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You know what I mean. I'm gonna just call you
you guy Melika, and I'm gonna call you ex Kanaan.
It was the reason why you met Malika and you
let Caanan slide up in the bank. You said you
thought he was about th robbing Man and you're talking
about loll No, but you was dead, sir.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You got scared of shit.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
You probably felt like Frankie and set it off. The
fuck because what's the procedure when the gun is to
your head exactly. Your ass got scared of shit talking
about butterflies. Yeah right, you were scared at first, and
then when.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Even with that though, yeah, you're coming to my like
like workplace, just like I don't like that. That seems
very aggressive.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
It is. It's very possessive too, like she always minds,
she gonna be mind type shit. And most of the
time those mindsets don't don't get very far either. It
results in something bad because if I can't have you,
nobody will them. It's guys that really really lived by
that ship for sure, you know what I'm saying, And
that ship I'll be watching snapped and I d TV
(15:59):
and all of that ship, that ship be going down, man,
and women be scared for their fucking lives. These men
are these these men, especially these obsessive and possessive.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Men, you know. So's almost like that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, so you dealt with somebody like that almost the
only almost because he was saying, like, just like, I
don't care if you're he thought I was like married
or something like that, and he said he didn't care.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I don't give you're married like me, and you like
over over.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The dog possessive Oh my god, y'all had a fucking dog.
So I had a child, Yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Was my child, so or he's my child? So okay,
So who bought the child? I don't know how he
got the dog, but I'm sorry he gave it to
me though. Oh okay, So it sounds like a father.
He sounds like the father. I don't know where he
got the dog from. So he got the dog for
you mom out here? Oh okay. So when he got
the dog, it was like when he dropped you off
(16:57):
and he was a deadbeat. We weren't even together. Oh okay,
and so he but were you single around the time?
Did he know you were single? All right? So that's
what it was. He just didn't want you to be
with somebody else. He wanted to sing, but he just
felt I guess it's always an attachment. Yes, that's how
it is. It's done because it was nothing. I didn't
(17:20):
leading him to me. The only type of leader was
when I went away, you could wash the dog. That's it,
does it?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Know?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Like Roman?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yo?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It was weird, damn.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
But I know when people do get passed together, that
does put a different expectation on the relationship because people
will be like, no, this is like our practice child
kind of sort of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I remember I had a goldfish with a nigga who
thought I was I was like, first of all girl guys.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
The fish was called Samson, Like uh uh, why the fuck?
And then why would you name my fish deck? So
I already was turned off anybody. I'm not ever gonnass you.
Sam thing was the name of the dog anyway.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So it was named something else. Yes, yeah, I really
didn't want nothing to do him, like we were broken up.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Tell why we say friends because him because hedn't really
didn't do nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I just he just grew blind what it is, but
like he was, but so look it was the breakup bad. No,
it wasn't breakup.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It was still I just remember him. When I did
break up with him and I told him on the phone.
Him called me back and was like, I know you
don't think that I'm about to let you go this easily.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And I was like, yeah, sir, you will.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You will have to because this is done. But damn, now,
let me ask you. Because he probably thought it was
still like some reconcile like they. He probably thought it
was still able to be reconciled and.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
I told him off because it was a breakup because.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What happened was, if to be honest, I feel like
in a sense, he loved by me, and yeah, so
and it was just nice.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
See I let somebody do that to me too, and
I knew I really didn't want to take it that far.
It was just like a rebound situation. I was like,
I'll be honest, I was loved bomb by my ex
by Wayne. I got loved bomb by Wayne, you know
what I mean. And it was what I needed at
the time because I had never been shown that before.
(19:26):
You know what I'm saying, like, oh this, Oh it
is possible for somebody to spoil you. It is possible
for this type of love. And he's emotionally intelligent and
he you know. So what Wayne did was just show
me that there is love.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Out there like that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You know. I was just so used to toxicity, drug
dealers and niggas who using me and shit like that,
you know what I'm saying. And then he came along
showed me that that was different. And then I think
what me and Wayne didn't do was become friends first,
because if I would have just became his friends, we
would have never been together. We would have just been
friends because Wayne is a really good person.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You know, I feel too. Yeah, he just loved bomb me.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And I was like I felt obligated to just oh ship,
Well I'm gonna just Behamdan you know. But it's like no,
And then that was you know what, six fucking years
ago or whatever, you know, So I don't know. I
didn't know now then.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
What I know now, you know. So yeah, but I
am grief. I don't regret it though for like four years,
like yeah, still, what are you going to sir?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, that's crazy and c and some trash like New
York and from New York the office. Let me ask
you this real quick before we get out of here,
because we passed. Yes they are the New York Yes,
But is he like Caribbean, Jamaican or something like that,
(20:43):
because all of that he gives like Haitian. Uh.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I think he had roots in some island. But it's
not like he like okay, okay, I got you. But
he had a lot of he's a good guy, yeah,
but he just yeah, yeah, issues, it was a lot
of issues.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, I feel yeah, well, I think we gave this
this woman a great sense of direction as it pertains
to advice.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I think she should. She also was gonna do what
she want to do.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Obviously, she's still in love with her ex, or she
thinks she is. I think her feelings are mixed. I
think what she's feeling is not an obligation to the guy.
I think like she don't. I mean, I don't think
what she's feeling is love all over again. I think
she's just probably scared and she's frantic.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
She don't know what to do. She's stressed out. She's like,
should I go back or And I think that's because.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Like if you wasn't thinking about him, because because she
wasn't think about him, because she wasn't in contact with him.
I think she do need to move on though, stayble. Then,
you don't know what the fuck your fiance done went through, Neva.
You know what I'm saying. You don't know what he
went through and how he ended up with you. He
probably felt like you would have one, just like you
felt like he was the one. You know, he probably
had somebody do the ship to him before, and here
(22:03):
you go about to do it again.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Jesus girl, So.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
So keep me updated and write me back, baby girl.
All Right, all right, and just like that, we come
to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless podcast episode
with your Girl just hilarious. Y'all say thank you to
Taylor because Taylor showed up and show out today personal
experiences and everything, all right, and Tayler say thank y'all.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Thank thank y'all say thank you though I don't know,
don't worry about I don't even fucking thank you for listening.
I don't know, because they.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
And ship they love you too, all right, cool, so
we love y'all. We'll talk to y'all next week. Peace
(23:54):
Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Welcome to Can'tfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects, And just.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to you.
Had another carefully reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess and we
got my girl Taylor in here today. Say hey to Taylor,
y'are say, let's say hey to the babyols. All right,
so listen, I'm gonna just jump right in and read
the story.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
This one is really really good.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Obviously it's not a voice note, and she did say
something about it not being a voice not too She
was like, my man listens to carefully Reckless on iHeart
Andie listens to you fix people mess on Breakfast Club.
So she didn't want to leave me a voice note.
So here it goes, Hey, Jass, I need you bad child.
So one of my children, one of my childhood friends,
(00:54):
was my very first boyfriend in life.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
That's cute.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
He was the big time drug dealer in our city.
We're from Saint Louis. Oh lord, I've loved him from
a child to an adult. We've been together on and
off for about fifteen years. By the grace of God.
I never got pregnant by him, but we always talked
about having kids together and him making me a wife,
not about a.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Grace of God. He yo.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
During the time of our relationship, he was back and
forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that
would make a girl want out, And all the years
we were together, I had to deal with that and
more house raised and long sleepless nights.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
House raised.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh yeah, fuck all less when somebody raised. Okay, so Taylor,
when somebody raised your house, they're looking for a.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Fucking drug dealer. House raise. Oh no, no, no, no,
no house raise, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
He never cheated as far as I know, but being
the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and
tired for me as I got older. He never cheated
as far as I know, but being the girlfriend of
a drug dealer became very old and tired for me
as I got older.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I gave him an ultimatum, me or that life.
He just couldn't let it go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Right then, he said he had a goal and as
soon as he hits it, he's gonna come marry me
and we can start building our life together. Now this
was about three years ago. The last time we spoke
on this. He went to jail for a year after
that and been home for about two years.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
During that year, I met a gentleman and he was
literally everything I was missing. He was everything I wanted
in my on again off again x We were so
compatible in the early months of us dating Jess. This
man showed me real love and a passionate way. I
swear he is my person. A few months ago, my
ex pops up out of nowhere at my job now
(02:48):
I work at the bank.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I thought he was coming to rob it. What the
fuck the fuck? Hello, Well, just kidding, bitch, caty fucking.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Just kidding like this the fuck He was telling me
he needed to take me out and that he needed
to talk and update me on his life. Job came
to her job because yeah job. Maybe she didn't say that, yes,
she said. I did get to meet with him, and
he briefly ran down all of his life changes to me.
(03:17):
He joined the church, he is actually Oh my good,
he's actually owner of a business. He started his own
tech company and he has a trucking company.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Okay goes. He turned legit. This was the one that
was in jail. We came out but so was she
just not in contact with him? Probably not because she
had already met another dude. This is the crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Okay, yeah, so he had told her about you know
updated let me say, didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Say how long she was in contact with him though,
because he did a lot. He did a lot and
that look. Yeah, well he was on for two years
and this was a few months ago he came.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
He probably was trying to get a ship together before
he came back, because she had gave him that last
ultimatum like look me or this, and he was like, yo,
I can't lead a game yet.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I got a goal. I'm trying to earn a certain amount.
You know how drug Deale's talk.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I know it so well because I was dealing with
a lot of them back in my day, you know,
so period he came home. Now he's reformed and shit
and he's basically like ghosts James Patrick. He was trying
to be legit, trying to be legit and everything. And
she said, wow, crazy thing is I felt so good
talking to him. All the memories flushed.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I was back in love. Only thing is my current
guy proposed to me.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
No, proposed to me weeks weeks before that girl, and
I said, yes, crazy, I.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Mean break it all. They didn't get married yet, and
so she basically asking what should I do?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Jess, I find myself in bed laying next to my
fiance thinking about my ex because he is everything I
wanted this life with. However, I went on ahead and
got engaged, not expect acting him to ever change or
grow up, and he did well.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
First hurting her to see the receipts. Yeah, what the
drug dealers talking about? Just what he said, what he's saying.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
And then I just don't jump out there and just
like go, you know, just because he came to you.
And although he been out for two years, so he
probably did take.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
All this time to get like, you know, but he's
not doing the things he used to do, got businesses
that company.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I mean, take time is good. But I'm saying like.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
The only reason why I'm like hesitating with that is
just because sometimes I feel like things will happen how it's.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Supposed to happen, yeah, and and everything that glitters is
not gold.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But also just like if you're supposed to be together, y'all,
y'all would have been.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Y'all would have been together, right, Yeah, like, and I
guess you tried to wait and all.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
That, but to go back and then on and off
for fifteen years. Yeah, because Jesus you let him. You
gave him.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Fifteen years of your life and he gave fifteen years
of his life to the streets. That's a long time
before you grow up. And shit, now, other guys take
longer to grow up. But damn, nigga, now supposed to
drop everything I'm doing because you are home now and
you decided to get it right in your life. But
that's what tells me when he told her that when
she gave him the ultimatum the first time, and she
(06:26):
was like, yo, me or this, and he was like, no,
not right now. I can't choose you right now because
I have a goal to get to. I'm not gonna
be in this shit forever. But I am like, I'm good,
Like I got a goal and I'm gonna be out
of this shit. I just got to do some things
right now. When I wonder if she agreed then, like
(06:48):
did she say did she just leave and say all right,
since you're not choosing me whatever, have a nice life whatever,
or did she agree in that moment all right, I'll
wait for you, because if so, that's why.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
The fuck he came back and just expected for her
to be right there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,
but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen now. Like you said,
I wonder if she was keeping in touch with him
that whole year he was in jail, or how long
was he out before you knew he was out? And
how did y'all have a conversation? How long before the
bank when he shopped, when he popped up at your job?
Did you see him it was the last time you've
(07:28):
seen him before you saw him in the bank. Was
the time you know you gave him that ultimatum? Was
that three years prior? Or like?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
What the fuck was that? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I think, honestly, because she didn't give us that part
of it. I think she honestly didn't talk to him
purposely because she was trying to get past them, and.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That's how she ended up meeting her person. Yeah, I
know that's the thing, and that motherfucker probably looked good too, But.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I guess it's one of those things too, like takeaway,
like all y'all got butterflies.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Now, yeah you real? I don't know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know. And then what's with this new fiancee?
Is he everything that you wanted? Yes? She did listening
for him. Listen, I'm I'm gonna reread it. She said.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
During that year that he was in jail, I met
a gentleman and he was literally everything I was missing.
He was everything I wanted and my on again off
again x We were so compatible in the early months
of us dating. Just this man showed me real love.
So then I swear he is my person. So then
I don't think and that nigga proposed he knew what
(08:37):
he had.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Exactly, so I don't think like you're about to give
your whole thing to do that, all this moving on
that you did, like all this healing.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But when she ever healed, if she sat down with
with ex convict one time and then all came back
and lay laying in bed next to your.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Fiance, that was her person. The X kind was ever her.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Well. In the beginning, she says, to one of my
childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. It
was a big He was a big time drug dealer
in our city. So yeah, I've loved him from a
child to an adult. We've been together on and off
for fifteen years. No, and then that, by the grace
of God, I never got pregnant by him. That tells
you something that's screaming, like, I've always had one leg
and one leg out.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I don't think she should do it, Yeah, because she
don't want to follow her. I think you're still holding
on to maybe a cute little fantasy, but.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
You know, and then you feel a bit of like
obligation because your childhood friends, you know, Yeah, you've known
him since he was younger.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Y'all kind of grew up together. He's known you.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
He knows what to say to get back in your
good graces. That about you probably didn't change. That's how
all the butterflies started rushing back, and all the feelings
started swaying in, you know, coming in and colliding on
you and shit, and now you feel like you're in
love with your ex all over again. Laying next to
your person that night, thinking about this nigga. I don't
even think it's so much she thinking about this nigga.
I think she's thinking about what she's going to do,
(10:01):
and it's stressing her to funk out what she wants
to do.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and then yeah, so that's a hard decision. I
don't think she should drop everything and then what about
this scenario? Right?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So look, this is also a thing as well, right,
because I've seen it time and time again growing up
in Baltimore City, being good friends with drug dealers, not
even drug dealers that I used to deal with, but
being good friends with drug dealers. My nigga, they'll get
into beefs and shit. She said, shootouts and all that
type of shit.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
They'll get into beefs and ship will I was. I
was building up to that tailor.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Damn shit, bitch. I was ready to set it up perfectly.
I was taking too long.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
He said, Yeah, what if the pants come back down?
Shit and the listeners knew where I was going?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh anyway, so yea, I must still want to say.
I'm gonna still just say it. So, girl, I've seen
in my life where the past comes back to watch
and done.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
If he's gotten the shootouts, obviously he's doing that's been
doing the shooting and ship because he ain't get killed
or shot.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
She didn't say he got shot, you know, maybe got
he's been shot at.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
What if somebody waited until later and then it's y'all
out together and this nigga get shot up and killed
or what if you get killed being with him? You
know you said he was a big time drug dealer
in Saint Louis. I mean, I'm sorry, Missouri, but goddamn,
we know certain cities and drugs.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
That ship is different. It gets deep. And then just
watched the show Power, I'm sorry for I mean for
what like what for reference? Like absolutely or watch the
wire fuck Power? Watch the Yeah what mm hmm? Even
(11:56):
snow Fall, Yeah, like I mean, I'm.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Not I'm just saying, no, that's more realistic. Snowfall is
way more realistic than Power.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I ain't girl. The ghosts and Tommy should have been
died the first episode.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
The way, but even think about like he's saying he
got inn tech company and not to like say yeah,
but I just like his.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
He could his roots is in the streets. He could
still be in the street.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
That it could be unto wash his money, like he's
just trying to wash his money with legit businesses and shade.
You know, he could still have now he may not
be the one that's on the streets in the streets
distributing anymore, but he could be the plug. He could
be he still got his hands in it some type
of way. And I'm not saying, we're not saying he does,
but that could still be the case. Like you said,
so like say, let's say it. So see your receipts.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Don't just jump out the fucking window or not not
even delve. Don't even dive into that, you know, like
you said, just just know, just steer clear of that life.
That's that's what you you saying. You made a very
and your passes that you read to me, like during
the time of our relationship, he was back and forth
to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would
(13:07):
make a girl want out.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You've been wanted out.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
You just felt some type of devotion to him because
he's also your childhood friend. You said, in all the
years we were together, I had to deal with that
and more house raised, long sleepless nights. And you said
he never cheated as far as you know, which is fine,
But that's not even the tip of that shit.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That that's everything that's watching your back.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
That's you being even affiliated with a nigga who got
a target on him every day. You know what I'm saying,
You don't want to marry nobody, go throw your life
away for somebody that gotta still watch his back because
he's done so much dirt and his in his earlier life.
You know, I mean earlier in his life. You know,
you just that shit is dangerous. You know, you don't
want to be one of those girls. You really really don't,
(13:47):
you know, And you seem like you got a really
really good thing going and I would I would honestly
hate what if yeah to the what if yeah from
a long time ago. Yo. The way you speak about
your fiance is amazing. It's like immagular, Like you can't
even see yourself without this man, you know, And you
met him at a perfect time, right after you get
(14:09):
a guy ultimatum and you kind of cut it off
with him. He went to jail, so he couldn't even
he wasn't even out to disrupt your relationship or whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You met him at a great time. You leave that
chapter where the fuck it was at.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Now we got a commercial and if you click off
this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen,
you have to meet up with this nigga again, and
you got to tell him because one thing about drug
dealers or ex drug dealers or whatever they used to
getting what they want, and he gonna start that hagging out.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
You know what I'm saying, Like he's not going to
stop trying to prove to you that he is ready
to be with you now, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Even if he did turn you know, turn great or
do a whole three sixty with his life, you feel me,
it's still just I think things happened, like Taylor was saying,
things happened for a reason.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
You know, it was a reason why you were supposed
to meet your new guy.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You know what I mean. I'm gonna just call you
you guy Melika, and I'm gonna call you ex Kanaan.
It was the reason why you met Malika and you
let Caanan slide up in the bank. You said you
thought he was about th robbing Man and you're talking
about loll No, but you was dead, sir.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You got scared of shit.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
You probably felt like Frankie and set it off. The
fuck because what's the procedure when the gun is to
your head exactly. Your ass got scared of shit talking
about butterflies. Yeah right, you were scared at first, and
then when.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Even with that though, yeah, you're coming to my like
like workplace, just like I don't like that. That seems
very aggressive.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
It is. It's very possessive too, like she always minds,
she gonna be mind type shit. And most of the
time those mindsets don't don't get very far either. It
results in something bad because if I can't have you,
nobody will them. It's guys that really really lived by
that ship for sure, you know what I'm saying, And
that ship I'll be watching snapped and I d TV
(15:59):
and all of that ship, that ship be going down, man,
and women be scared for their fucking lives. These men
are these these men, especially these obsessive and possessive.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Men, you know. So's almost like that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, so you dealt with somebody like that almost the
only almost because he was saying, like, just like, I
don't care if you're he thought I was like married
or something like that, and he said he didn't care.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I don't give you're married like me, and you like
over over.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The dog possessive Oh my god, y'all had a fucking dog.
So I had a child, Yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Was my child, so or he's my child? So okay,
So who bought the child? I don't know how he
got the dog, but I'm sorry he gave it to
me though. Oh okay, So it sounds like a father.
He sounds like the father. I don't know where he
got the dog from. So he got the dog for
you mom out here? Oh okay. So when he got
the dog, it was like when he dropped you off
(16:57):
and he was a deadbeat. We weren't even together. Oh okay,
and so he but were you single around the time?
Did he know you were single? All right? So that's
what it was. He just didn't want you to be
with somebody else. He wanted to sing, but he just
felt I guess it's always an attachment. Yes, that's how
it is. It's done because it was nothing. I didn't
(17:20):
leading him to me. The only type of leader was
when I went away, you could wash the dog. That's it,
does it?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Know?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Like Roman?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yo?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It was weird, damn.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
But I know when people do get passed together, that
does put a different expectation on the relationship because people
will be like, no, this is like our practice child
kind of sort of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I remember I had a goldfish with a nigga who
thought I was I was like, first of all girl guys.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
The fish was called Samson, Like uh uh, why the fuck?
And then why would you name my fish deck? So
I already was turned off anybody. I'm not ever gonnass you.
Sam thing was the name of the dog anyway.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So it was named something else. Yes, yeah, I really
didn't want nothing to do him, like we were broken up.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Tell why we say friends because him because hedn't really
didn't do nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I just he just grew blind what it is, but
like he was, but so look it was the breakup bad. No,
it wasn't breakup.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It was still I just remember him. When I did
break up with him and I told him on the phone.
Him called me back and was like, I know you
don't think that I'm about to let you go this easily.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And I was like, yeah, sir, you will.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You will have to because this is done. But damn, now,
let me ask you. Because he probably thought it was
still like some reconcile like they. He probably thought it
was still able to be reconciled and.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
I told him off because it was a breakup because.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What happened was, if to be honest, I feel like
in a sense, he loved by me, and yeah, so
and it was just nice.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
See I let somebody do that to me too, and
I knew I really didn't want to take it that far.
It was just like a rebound situation. I was like,
I'll be honest, I was loved bomb by my ex
by Wayne. I got loved bomb by Wayne, you know
what I mean. And it was what I needed at
the time because I had never been shown that before.
(19:26):
You know what I'm saying, like, oh this, Oh it
is possible for somebody to spoil you. It is possible
for this type of love. And he's emotionally intelligent and
he you know. So what Wayne did was just show
me that there is love.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Out there like that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You know. I was just so used to toxicity, drug
dealers and niggas who using me and shit like that,
you know what I'm saying. And then he came along
showed me that that was different. And then I think
what me and Wayne didn't do was become friends first,
because if I would have just became his friends, we
would have never been together. We would have just been
friends because Wayne is a really good person.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You know, I feel too. Yeah, he just loved bomb me.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And I was like I felt obligated to just oh ship,
Well I'm gonna just Behamdan you know. But it's like no,
And then that was you know what, six fucking years
ago or whatever, you know, So I don't know. I
didn't know now then.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
What I know now, you know. So yeah, but I
am grief. I don't regret it though for like four years,
like yeah, still, what are you going to sir?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, that's crazy and c and some trash like New
York and from New York the office. Let me ask
you this real quick before we get out of here,
because we passed. Yes they are the New York Yes,
But is he like Caribbean, Jamaican or something like that,
(20:43):
because all of that he gives like Haitian. Uh.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I think he had roots in some island. But it's
not like he like okay, okay, I got you. But
he had a lot of he's a good guy, yeah,
but he just yeah, yeah, issues, it was a lot
of issues.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, I feel yeah, well, I think we gave this
this woman a great sense of direction as it pertains
to advice.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I think she should. She also was gonna do what
she want to do.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Obviously, she's still in love with her ex, or she
thinks she is. I think her feelings are mixed. I
think what she's feeling is not an obligation to the guy.
I think like she don't. I mean, I don't think
what she's feeling is love all over again. I think
she's just probably scared and she's frantic.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
She don't know what to do. She's stressed out. She's like,
should I go back or And I think that's because.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Like if you wasn't thinking about him, because because she
wasn't think about him, because she wasn't in contact with him.
I think she do need to move on though, stayble. Then,
you don't know what the fuck your fiance done went through, Neva.
You know what I'm saying. You don't know what he
went through and how he ended up with you. He
probably felt like you would have one, just like you
felt like he was the one. You know, he probably
had somebody do the ship to him before, and here
(22:03):
you go about to do it again.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Jesus girl, So.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
So keep me updated and write me back, baby girl.
All Right, all right, and just like that, we come
to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless podcast episode
with your Girl just hilarious. Y'all say thank you to
Taylor because Taylor showed up and show out today personal
experiences and everything, all right, and Tayler say thank y'all.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Thank thank y'all say thank you though I don't know,
don't worry about I don't even fucking thank you for listening.
I don't know, because they.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
And ship they love you too, all right, cool, so
we love y'all. We'll talk to y'all next week. Peace
(23:54):
Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
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DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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