Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More

Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wait that answer in the morning Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's
DJ Envy angela Ye, Charlemagne the guy we are the
breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the ballots, right,
this divine being having a human experience, Master, well being, educator,
doom to keep going. Oh. She has many teaching certifications.

(00:22):
She has many teaching certifications including meditation, breathwork and the Child,
healing and spiritual psychology. She's an energy healer. She hosting
leaves many spiritual spiritual retreats a year. She teaches in
God's Delhi Meditations on the Choper app. She advises on
well being and teaches mindfulness for several corporations. She's an
author of a book called Crystal Bliss, and she holds
a podcast on the black Back podcast network called Dropping

(00:43):
Gems It's My Good System. And she has a four
year old that is taller than Charlemagne. That is a fact.
DEMI gods are you talking about? Quest is a big
little boy? That is a fact. Yes, welcome, I come mon,
good morning. How are you, Debbie. I'm incredible. I feel incredible. Okay,

(01:06):
this moment in time is a lot, but it's also
there's magic in it. For all of us. What makes
you feel so incredible? You know, I think I'm excited
about where we all get to be in our lives
in this moment, Like this is the first time ever
in human history that we've all been able to become
higher versions of ourselves, like so many at a time.

(01:28):
We all have more resources, more support for mental health,
more support for emotional health. So it's like even when
I get to see friends I haven't seen in a while,
like I feel like we get to meet each other
at new levels. You know, we get to have deeper
conversations with the people that we love. We get to
be you know, just set our boundaries, be ourselves. People

(01:49):
that say, what are you talking about? Debbie does And
we're in a recession, interest rates at all time high,
but you still find a positive out of it, you
know what it? Life is both the human experience. We're
always oscillating between these two ends of the spectrum, joy
and grief. And I think that, you know, the viewpoint

(02:09):
I have of it, and something I really had to
come into in the pandemic was the moments that feel
like joy. I have to let myself feel all of it,
you know, I want every inch of delight when it's present,
because life is hard, life is challenging. Like we walk
to the table with so many things that we've experienced
that no one knows about, and then we're alive right

(02:31):
now with you know, it is what it is, all
the things happening. So when I get a chance to
be with people I love, when I get a chance
to do anything that sparks in my spirit, I try
to feel every single piece of it. There are times
when people feel guilty too, because they may be experiencing
a lot of positivity, but there's so much going on

(02:54):
around you that you don't feel like you can even
celebrate that. Yeah, yeah, And I think it's important too,
because that's what allows us to sustain. Like, I think
the thing we've all gotten so wrong about the human
experience is like everyone thinks that the goal is always
supreme happiness and that if it's not that, then those
are the periods of your life you don't really sit
with or look at or talk about. But we need

(03:15):
the grief, we need the pain and dressed as much
as we need everything else. So you know, even in
the midst of the moment of time we're having now
where everything is crazy, and it's been crazy, you know,
It's I wake up every day and I'm just like,
but how can I fuel my fire? How can I
keep that internal oven inside of me just constantly going

(03:36):
from myself, from my life for my child? Can we
go back to It's like almost the beginning, right because
when you think of you know, Dev Dev, A lot
of us probably know DEVI Deaf from radio. You know,
we started DEVII Dev. You know I met you at
k D in La and like oh seven and you
know you on Sway Show. But it's like you've always

(03:57):
been this spiritually connected person. When do you when do
you like first remember that like connection to a higher power?
You know, I think so many things play into that.
I think by nature, I'm an only child raised by
a single parent, which is a certain kind of experience
that kind of keeps you in your head a lot.
So I think that was a piece of it. But

(04:18):
I've always just been fascinated by transformation of any kind.
Like I was definitely reading self help books as a
little girl. I was just so interested in what made
people themselves but also what kept people from becoming themselves. Now,
one time you decided to give this all up right, yeah,

(04:39):
you would. You were very successful doing radio. You were
in Houston, they were talking about syndication, you were talking
about moving back to la and then you said you
were one of the best radio personality in the country.
I mean's still one of the best personalities, but you
were on the radio as one of the best personalities
in the country. And then you said, thank you, I'm
done with this. Well what made you say, you know what,
I don't want to do this anymore? What? What was?

(05:03):
Why are you clinching yourself like that they need to
hear this this morning? You know, it was a couple
of things. I think the amazing thing about the show
that y'all do is you guys have established something so
rare and different than has ever been I think in broadcasting.
And you guys get to show up as your full
selves at work. You get to have the conversations that

(05:24):
matter to you. Where I was when I was doing
radio that had started becoming so closed off. You know,
at one point when I was working in radio, I
was able to have meaningful conversations like I went viral
with Kanye, went viral with Kendrick talking about mental health.
And then you know, the powers that be they just
say talk less, talk less, you know, where I used

(05:47):
to have a talk break where I could really connect it,
but like do that in eleven seconds, but say the
whole liner, you know. And it's just I just felt
like I wasn't able to use this gift of communication
at the level that God really commanded of me, at
the level that felt fulfilling to me, And so I
knew that I needed to find I wanted to have

(06:07):
different conversations, and I think you know, when I left radio,
that was like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, so the kind
of conversations I was having weren't really popular at the time.
Like I wanted to kind of talk about some of
the darker stuff. I wanted to talk about some of
the more complicated, complex things, and I just kind of

(06:28):
do that on the terrestrial radio. I was at like
I remember one of my bosses at the time was like,
I want you to start doing a segment about groupies
where you take callers and ask them what celebrities they
slept with Jesus, And I was like, sir, do you
know me at all? It's like, well, I can't do that,
so let me let me find my place, and you know,

(06:49):
I wanted to have more adventure. Like I at that point,
I knew spirituality was the leading leading journey emission for
my life, and so I just said, I have to
invest everything about myself to that. Let me ask you this,
you did say back then, those conversations weren't as popular
as they are now. And definitely now I feel like
people are having those conversations about spirituality, about mental health

(07:12):
a lot more. But there's so many different conflicting things,
so much information out there, so many people that you're like, Okay,
who do I listen to? Who do I trust? Who
do I believe? Right? So how do people manage to
kind of filter through all of that noise? That is
so good? Because it is like the wild West out here,
like it really is, Like you know, I think everybody

(07:34):
should vet everyone that they talk to. And I think
what's really important is there is this kind of split
between people that are enthusiasts and are sharing processes that
maybe worked really well for their individual lives. But we
all have complex lives. We all have so many experiences
that made us us. So I think it's just really
important to connect with people that are deeply studied that

(07:57):
are experts in this space, you know, work with people
who have embodied what they're saying, not just sharing maybe
the tips and tricks or not just you know, saying
the things of like I read this book and it
said this, but who has been applying it to their
life in a way that it's transformed them and this
is their way of being? Those are always the people
I'm like kind of guide more in that direction. And

(08:18):
I believe in a holistic view. I think if you know,
for anybody listening that feels called to a healing journey
or any kind of like internal exploration, you have to
do it from mind, body, and spirit. You know, therapy
is incredible and it's one of the foundational steps, but
you also need everything else. You need body practice, you

(08:40):
need something that really feeds and grows and builds your spirit. Like,
we can't just do one thing. It has to be
an integrated approach to have real transformation. Can we expound
on that? I remember you telling me that you know
years ago use this Like, you know, therapy is great,
and I'm glad you in therapy, but you need more
than just therapy to transform your life. Like, exactly does

(09:00):
that look like? So even with therapy, there's so many
different kinds of therapy, and I think a lot of people,
especially now, because we're just so new to all of this,
everyone goes to cognitive therapy, which is kind of like
the standard talk therapy. For some people, that is actually
not the best option. Depending on what you are company
the table with, potentially what kind of traumas or experiences

(09:23):
you've had, you may need somatic therapy, you may need DBT,
you may need all these different styles. And so that's
why I say, like, also get creative with it. When
you're on your journey and you start to feel maybe
a little stuck, something isn't working, start exploring, start googling,
start asking more questions. But the piece about therapy is

(09:44):
it keeps you in your head. It helps you understand
yourself and the things that have happened, and it gives
you the language to talk about it. But it doesn't
always give you the opportunity to live this new knowing.
At point, it can be really powerful to invite in
like spiritual practice or a self care practice, so that

(10:06):
you are applying acceptance to yourself, You're applying loving to yourself.
You know, it's one thing to know everything, but to
know everything and still love yourself, to know everything and
come into compassion for the people that have harmed you.
It takes many different processes. And you know, you're you're
a master well being educator. You have you know a

(10:27):
lot of certification. What does that look like too for
people who would be like, oh, how do I know
she just didn't read a book like you actually invested
in yourself with this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've read
a lot of books and I've done a lot of
process on myself. This is also you know, probably fifteen
years of therapy on myself, a lot of working with
healing practitioners all over the world. But yeah, I dedicated

(10:49):
really the last ten years of my life. Even while
I was still in radio, I was also enrolled in
different programs and just amassing my knowledge, you know. My
thing was and and I really encourage anybody listening for
whatever field you're in, if you're called to something, if
you know it's something that you know, not just in
the way we used to say it, like you do
it if it was for free, No, if it's something

(11:11):
that you're curious about, like you're always thinking about it,
you're always trying to find different facets of it, invest
in yourself. You know, I knew this was my path.
I knew I was called to help people heal, to
help alleviate internal suffering. And I didn't want to just
do it from a place of like motivation and positivity.
I wanted to really know what is the deep process

(11:32):
of transformation? And also what are all the things that
people are facing? You know, what are things that keep
what are the barriers that are in place for different
kinds of people that keep them from healing? And what
books helped you? What helped you on your journey? Oh God,
so many things, so many books. I think one of
the books that I love and I speak to this

(11:54):
book a lot. But it's simple, it's short, but it
is powerful and can be used on a daily basis
is The Seven Spiritual Laws with Success by Deepak Chopra.
What I love about that book is it really expands
your understanding of what life could be like if you
really come into a place of surrender of trust that

(12:16):
everything that was unfolding is ultimately for your highest good,
even the things that may not have received your consent,
even the things that still feel like an open wound
coming into acceptance of that and then really alcomizing all
that life has given you to transform, to create, to

(12:38):
have new possibilities. That book really gave me, like the
zoomed out expanded view of what could be essentially brought
up Deepak Chopra, I want to talk about Dear Prime
showed the sessions. Yes, yeah, Daymond Green on now in particular,
So you're talking about just the mental well being and

(13:00):
so being able to focus right with Jraymond Green. Why
in particular do you think athletes need to focus on
something like this and how do you think it helped them? Gosh,
I think it's so important. First, like religion of sports
came up with this phenomenal concept. This is their beautiful
body of work. They tell really powerful stories, and it

(13:21):
was myself and it was Deepak and we were in
this really beautiful process with Draymond. What I think is
so important about that not just from the athletic lens,
but from the masculinity lens, Like I think this is
really a moment of divine masculinity, of men's transformative healing,
of men's kind of awakening, and so the opportunity to

(13:44):
kind of work with someone who already has such ingrained dedication, discipline,
knowledge of their body, knowledge of themselves. I thought was
a really amazing experience because then we just got to
go in and kind of chisel a little bit, you know,
kind of fine tune the process. How receptive was he
to this at first? So receptive, like so receptive he

(14:07):
came in and it was just it was just a
joy and a privilege to work with Draymond because he
is so smart, so self aware already. And he came
in saying, and if you watch the show, Deepak asked him,
you know, where are you at on an emotional level,
from you know, one to ten? And I think he
said he was a four. And then Deepak said, well,
then you're suffering, you know, And we don't always look

(14:30):
at that when everything else is amazing in our lives,
or if you're super successful, got all of this, you know,
acclaim opportunity that piece. You know, we often just say like,
oh yeah, I feel it there. It's like a little
seed in the pit of my stomach or sometimes in
my heart, but I'll pad everything else around it. And
you know, he came into the experience like, Okay, how

(14:53):
does this work? Tell me? X Y and Z and
then by you know, by the later part of our
sessions when we were meeting, he was like, Okay, so
I've read this book. I've read this book. I've read
this book. I understand it like this, and he was
just really ready to feel things that maybe he hadn't
felt before. Oh, I want to get back to the
sessions on Amazon, but I want to talk about the
connection with Deepak, because I call you Tupac Cholber, right,

(15:16):
and so to see you and Deepak actually working together now,
I was like surreal in a lot of ways. How
did that connection happen? Oh, my God, surreal? So godly.
You always got to listen to the whispers of God,
you know. I feel like when you can really get
into a space of following the flow of where life
wants to lead you and not where you're trying to

(15:37):
make it go, miracles happen. And so you know, with Deepac,
I was absolutely a student of his work and just
I was so transformed. Deepac has written over ninety books
in his lifetime, Like his depth of knowledge is so massive.
So it really started where I was burned out. I

(15:57):
was working in radio, like we talked about in my twenties,
and I ended up getting shingles, which is highly painful
for anybody that's had it, but it's also specifically something
you don't get to like your seventies and your eighties.
I had it in my twenties and I was like,
this life isn't sustainable, like clearly, like for people that
don't know, I don't know what it is. So shingles

(16:20):
is a virus that lays dormant in your body after
you have the chicken pox, and it's typically something that
doesn't manifest until you are in your elderly years, but
it can be brought forward with a lot of stress,
and it is very painful. It often presents as like
a big rash somewhere for a length of time, and
no medicine alleviates the pain. For me, it felt like

(16:41):
there was a frozen ice pick stabbing you in your nerve,
really painful. Um. And so this was like, you know,
ten years ago, and I went online and I just
typed in like detox, help retreat something, and the first

(17:01):
thing that popped up was a photo of DPAC and
it was for his health center. And so I ended
up going on a ten day detox retreat and it
changed everything about my life, and I ended up doing
so many of the programs that Chopra offered, which eventually
led me to do their teacher training program and get
certified in meditation. And so our relationship was really just
growing and building, And when Chopra Global launched about two

(17:26):
years ago, I ended up coming on board as their
chief Impact Officer and leading some of their initiatives. Was
that pressure? What does that mean? I wasn't pressure. Did
you feel pressure once you were in that position? No?
I felt so aligned For me. It was just it
was just the deepest acknowledgement that my path was what

(17:46):
I was envisioning, that I was exactly where I was
supposed to be. So I think I really trust myself.
I trust my life, I trust myself, I trust my expertise.
So I felt like it was divine alignment. Applied these
skills to your life. How have you been handling things
differently than you used to when you were younger? Everything?

(18:09):
You know? I think for me boundaries like really just
understanding myself and understanding that you know, this is my movie.
I'm the star of my movie, I'm a supporting character,
and a lot of people's movies, I'm a supporting character
in your movie, you're a supporting character in mine. But
I have to make myself in my life a priority.
And to do that, you really cannot care what people think.

(18:32):
You cannot allow other people's projections to change how you
think about yourself or make you bend or contorting in
any way. And I think that that was one of
the biggest things. It's like, just by being alive, we're
constantly comparing. It starts in our childhood with our parents,
with the kids in school, but especially as adults, especially
if you work in the entertainment industry, bacal social media,

(18:53):
Oh my god, especially with social media, like it's impossible
not to and so just really kind of zooming out
of that matrix and just saying like, I can't care
what anybody else thinks. I have to trust that my
path in my life is mine. That's one way to
create a healthy boundary. What are some other ways to

(19:13):
create healthy boundaries? So healthy boundaries, the first part is
you have to become really aware of yourself and who
you are. I think a lot of this boundary conversation
tends to tilt into using boundaries as more of a wall,
a wall of protection. A barrier against other people and
also a judgment of other people. When I hear people

(19:34):
talk about boundaries, even on social media, I think we
have to really upgrade our understanding of why we don't
have them to begin with. You know, it's like everyone's like,
now I'm going to have boundaries, and you know, and
anybody that doesn't have my boundaries like you're cut out
of my life. And people don't want to respect your boundaries,
and there's such this like harsh judgmental view no one

(19:57):
does until you got them. And the thing is, the
people in our lives that are trying to climb over
them don't understand what they are either, which is why
they don't even apply them to their own selves. So
I think on the journey of finding boundaries of coming
into self awareness, as often as it's possible, we always
have to try to steep it in overall compassion and

(20:20):
non judgment. A lot of us are doing things for
the very first time. A lot of us have just
heard about boundaries for the very first time. And very
often if you don't have boundaries already, it's because different
things happened in your life that led you to kind
of disregard yourself in certain ways, or not think that
you have the right or the worth to choose yourself first.

(20:42):
So it's all the process and we just have to
go slow and gently. So question, well, are you we
born with boundaries and then they get toured down at
some point? Are we never have them? And we have
to learn how to build them. So there's a multitude
of reasons, but I think one of the one of
the reasons that I'm most often and work with and
see in our childhood certain things have to happen for

(21:06):
us to become the best version of our adult self.
There has to be certain kinds of role modeling in
place of behavior. There has to be role modeling of care,
of understanding, of listening of language. If we have experienced
certain emotional neglect, which millions of people do, even if
your parents don't want to or don't know that they're

(21:27):
doing it. If you're experiencing any kind of emotional neglect
or traumas big to your little t it affects the
way your core identity is established. Your core identity is
established in childhood. That is the piece of you that
isn't the roles you play, but it's the piece of you.
That thinks that you're worthy, that thinks that you have rights,

(21:48):
that knows that your emotional life matters. If you're not
given that opportunity to grow that in a safe way,
you don't know how to set boundaries because you don't
understand yourself your own needs, You don't understand what you require,
and sometimes things bad happen to you or people burn you,

(22:08):
and then you're like, okay, moving forward. This is how
I have to move absolutely, And I think when that
stuff happens in our adult life, even still, it usually
comes down to an original wound that happened in childhood.
There was something in the dynamic with the child and
the caregiver or whatever adults may have been present, where
their needs were not looked at, and you maybe had

(22:30):
to please the person that was caretaking for you to
get what you needed. And so then in your adult
life you find yourself repeating those patterns in so many
different ways, and friendships and relationships and the jobs that
you choose, and the way that your dynamic with your
boss and your co workers is like it permeates everything
about your life. There is nothing more important than childhood.

(22:51):
Now when you talk about you know, everybody has their
own journey, right, yeah, and you have family, your friends,
your man, your child. So how do you base your
circle now? Because there's going to be some people that
are into the things that you're into, some people that
don't care about it, some people that don't believe. So
how do you keep your circle? Do you keep those
people that are not in your circle? Or do you

(23:12):
set up those boundaries where it's like, all right, well,
if you're not believe, I'll wait for you to be
a believer to be in this circle. So so how
do you go about your your normal day? Oh? I
don't think people have to be believers. Like, I'm not
looking to convince anyone, And I'm okay if we are
not aligned in our beliefs, but I would be a

(23:33):
friend with somebody, like you know, Charlemagne goes outside like
the hugwood. Right, if he wasn't a treaty sir, sorry, okay,
if he wasn't a wood hugger, right, could you explain
We can explain that if he wasn't a wood hugger,
he loves, But if he wasn't that way, could you
be around him as much? If he wasn't as grounded

(23:53):
as he was, or if he wasn't doing the work
on himself, could you still have him in your circle
like that? Or you know, the structure of our relationship
would have to change. I wouldn't be in judgment about him,
like I wouldn't judge a person because we're living different lives. However,
I have to prioritize what is actually nurturing my own

(24:16):
life and my own growth. And so I think first
I would say this, all of us hold on to
too many people for too long. That is what I feel.
A lot of it comes because of social media. It's
this natural Oh we kind of had a click, I'm
gonna follow you, I'm gonna follow you back. Now we're
plugged into knowing the nuance of every person we've ever
met life forever. There's not really the room for that,

(24:40):
you know. So I think the way that I look
at my life is I'm very I'm a very, very
open person. I love connecting with people. But when I
look at how my life is actually built, it's not
sustainable for me to have active relationship with a lot
of people. And so over the last two years, like
I've masked of lee shed in my life, and some

(25:01):
of them were highly intentional, like friendships that were misaligned
because of character, because of integrity, because of choices, and
there had to be hard conversations. Some of those hard
conversations turned into re establishing the friendship, like we were
able to get to new ground and rebuild. Some of
them were more of an awkward hearts goodbye, and many

(25:23):
others were really just let nature do his think. How
would those conversations Like, so, let's say, is somebody in
new click you need to have a conversation. Yeah, because
they're not following the same journey that you're following. You
just don't want them around you, honestly, So how do
you have those conversations? So if you're me, you just

(25:44):
have them. I don't have a lot of fear around
any of that because I think I love myself, I
love my life, I feel aligned, and so I'm not
taking other people's misdirected emotions personally. So if someone is
upset in our conversation, that's not going to rock me.
And I'm also not going to take on a lot
of guilt about it. I trust that my choices are

(26:04):
made in integrity. But you know, you have to be direct,
but you also have to know yourself to be direct
in a way that it's actually healing and beneficial, not
you know when people use that term brutally honest or
I keep it real. Real is relative. You're real is
based on your life experience, and it could be completely

(26:25):
fraudulent to someone else based on how they recognize real.
So I think there has to be a certain amount
of self awareness in yourself before you have that conversation,
and it's important to come into a space, if possible,
of more neutrality so that you can walk away from
something with lasting peace. Now, as a friend, right, people listening,

(26:46):
So as a friend, let's say Nick, the camera guy,
let's say do you guide him first of what you
think of being a friend, Like, Hey, Nick, I think
that you're doing this too much. I think you need
to fall back and look at this. Always one of
those things like, bro, you're not going in my direction.
I gotta go. Yeah, because it can be too preach questions.
But you know, as somebody who's done to work, yeah,
who's read numerous books, who's you know, done what you're

(27:09):
supposed to do, how do you do that? As you know,
with a friend. So what I did for myself was
when I started noticing that some friendships felt misaligned or
non reciprocal in the ways that were important to me.
I just made a mental note, and I told myself
that I was going to slowly observe it. So you

(27:30):
could do that in a way of saying, I'm going
to give somebody three strikes or three chances. But I
just started slowly observing and still interacting with the person.
How the flow of our relationship was, how often did
we talk? Were they able to show up for me?
Was I showing up for them? Did it feel reciprocal?
And I just watched it over the course of a year.

(27:50):
Like I knew I was called to kind of radically
shift and make space in my life, and I gave
myself really a year to do it. So I started
just observing people from a are, noticing things, keeping mental notes,
and then I really prayed about it. I set prayers,
I set intentions around it lead me to the aligned
friendships and partnerships allow me to remove with ease any

(28:14):
friendships or connections that are not serving or misaligned. You know,
I think it is important to bring God into all
of it. I think it's important to bring just a
higher energy into all of it. Once that was done,
and I started really saying, okay, yeah, that's not a fit.
I just called people up directly and I was like, Hey,
I want to talk to you about our friendship. I

(28:35):
want to talk about our relationship. And I said, I
just want to let you know. I don't have a
lot of judgment around you or this, but I need
to share how I'm feeling. I usually had supporting examples
of you know, this experience happened, this is the way
it made me feel. What are your thoughts on that.
We went back and forth a little bit about it.
Some people in my life said, thank you so much

(28:59):
for telling me this. I felt something changing between us.
I never saw that. I didn't even notice I was
doing that, but you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. We were
able to rebuild some peoples just like, okay, all right,
what all right? For the show? You know? Or f
you like? Okay? So I think walking into setting boundaries,

(29:21):
walking into shedding people, you have to also walk in
with a confidence of it's okay if I lose them,
it's okay if they don't understand, and it's also okay
if they blame me. None of that has anything to
do with me. You know, it's like the word ease
is a very powerful word because you know, you know,
you know, I think God for you daily. I tell
you this all the time. But it's just like our relationship,

(29:44):
It's never been a time we didn't share information. It's
never it's never been a time we didn't have, you know,
deep conversation. It's just like things evolved and went from
Yo Charlomagne listening to this Nipsey hustle bullets ain't got
no name, or arguing about Kendrick Lamar, you know what
I mean to read deep seven spirituality Like it just
seemed effortless the whole time. Yeah, And is that what

(30:05):
you should look for? I guess absolutely like and I
love us as a case study of that because we've
been friends for now like fifteen years, and we've seen
each other at so many junctures of the journey. But
what we always had was non judgment. We always had
an openness, We always had an ability to talk things through.
And I think you don't want to Jess hold on

(30:28):
to people because of a length of time or this
like false sense of loyalty which no one actually has
a real definition for that word, Like it changes with everyone.
If you look up the definition of loyalty, it just
means an affinity for I'm fond of I Like, you
have to really look at, like, what is kind of

(30:49):
doing life with a friend? Can there be more grace
for that? Can there be more ease? Can we go
six months without talking because we're both in a different
place and then come back together. I think we should
would be allowed to um. But yeah, being able to
kind of just evolve as equals at every step is
what I look for in friendship. And I'm also okay

(31:10):
with things not having to be that deep. There's some
people in my life. I trust them to be themselves
and I show up as myself and I give them
what they can handle of me. Now, how does people's
mental health affect their physical health? You don't pray for
you don't pray about me every day? You don't. I
was like, what is envy thinking over? I do think
God for you? You think God for this whole situation,

(31:32):
this situation which changes our life. We're openness, we're deep.
I just want to know why you never told me
that I hear talking. You don't say it envy talking.
Let me see what the blood could I hear a
wound talking. I was asking about mental health affecting people's

(31:53):
physical health too, because I feel like that's a theme
as well when it comes to athletes, but the everyday person,
Oh my god, all of us, and and now, thank god,
there's so much science and studies coming out to back
it up. There's phenomenal books on this. The Body Keeps
the Score is an amazing book, Resumementica and my grandmother's
name Trauma is stored absolutely in the body. Our experiences

(32:17):
don't leave us. And that's why, you know, when we
were talking about kind of that approach to really heal,
you have to bring your body into it. So you
have to have different practices and processes that allow you
to love on your body, to kind of push out
of your cells, out of your skin, your experiences. So
I think even you know, if someone's in like a
cognitive therapy and maybe not ready for some of the

(32:39):
other stuff, I always say, book a book a massage
appointment for after your therapy appointment, and then think about
the awarenesses that came in as you're getting the massage,
Think about things you want to release as you're getting
the massage, or you could do self massage, self stretching
at home because the trauma absolutely stays with us. And
I think we've seen in our communities so many diseases,

(33:01):
you know, so many different things manifesting that it's just like,
how is this possible. It can't just be diet, it
can't just be this Like, there is a there is
a grief present that is bringing on this sickness in
people's bodies. And I think it's just that's why we
have to do that kind of holistic approach. That was
a massive part of my journey. I was in therapy

(33:22):
for many, many years, and I understood a lot, but
not much was actively changing. And then when I came
in and I started seeing a somatic therapist, I started
doing somatic processes that really helped me to understand my
body's reactions to every moment. That's when I became really empowered.
You could feel your triggers in real time, but then

(33:42):
also soothe them in real time because on this healing journey,
no matter what you do, we're still on Earth, We're
still in this crazy environment. Very often the people near
us are not changing in the ways that we are,
so it's just so, so so incredibly important that we

(34:02):
honor ourselves, that we honor our bodies, that we come
into a space of being able to, you know, ideally
get through our wounds, our triggers faster. We're not just
looking for happiness. I'm I'm I'm in my wholeness, I'm
in my sovereignty. I am deep in mastery on many
different parts and also learning in other pieces of myself.

(34:26):
But you know, I look at um, happiness for me
isn't the goal. The goal for me is the fact
that something that used to hurt me, that I may
ruminate over for a week, for a month, that may
make me feel sick to my stomach about myself. Now
if I think about it, it's two seconds I felt it.
Oh yeah, because that did happen to me. I accept

(34:48):
that and I release it and I move into the
next moment. So I think that's that's really the goal
for healing. Let's let's stay if fort's real quick, because
I want to know why a self care of vital
for black and brown bodies. But I also want you
to talk about the energy healing you do. Like I mean,
you know, people saw a glimpse of you doing it
the Draymond on the set on The Sessions talk about that.

(35:10):
Oh my gosh, that was my favorite part of doing
the show. We were in like the Redwoods. We were
in this forest in the bay and I got to
do reiki energy work on him. Energy work is incredible.
It has changed my life. I think that I think
that our communities should be empowered with becoming facilitators of reiki,

(35:32):
of chakra healing, of energy work, and I think that
we should be using it on ourselves and in our
families daily. The energy work works with the energetic bodies,
So there is this field around you that is unseen
to the naked eye, but that is kind of the
energy that protects you that also magnetizes things to you

(35:53):
that can also be injured by different emotional wounds and
energy feeling is an ancient sacred practice, specifically raiky, where
you use your energy and you work with the person's
energy field to bring healing into their environment. So it
is believed that this helps to heal and alleviate physical wounds,

(36:16):
mental wounds, emotional wounds, and it's also something that just
really allows you to feel enlivened, that gives you access
to the feeling of present moment of groundedness, of peace
inside of your body. And I've done energy work on
YouTube's it feels like a spiritual massage, like you could

(36:37):
literally feel things being removed from you as the energy,
the energy work is being done. Like you get up
feeling light like damn, what was on me? You know? Yeah,
that's how That's how I felt. I was going to ask,
as mama bear right, if a four year old, how
do you raise him? Because you know, you've been in

(36:58):
the world. You know what good, what's bad, what's negative,
what's positive? So you know, how do you raise him?
Do you put him in school? Do you put him
around of the kids whose maybe parents are not on
the align with what do you what you do? Maybe
not on the same journey. You know, even though you
might not give him social media, you know, his friend
might have it, or his friend might get things from

(37:18):
the house. So how do you raise your four year old? Oh?
My god, that question is so hard. It's hard. God,
not every day, all day, it's hard. You know. I
think about my child every second, so many things envy,
you know. I feel like we're all kind of on

(37:42):
this journey of doing a lot of linear healing we're
bringing forward for our kids, maybe things that never existed
in our family systems ever, because you think about the
impact of slavery, you think about the impact of all
of the structural and societal oppressure and that has existed since,
and in black and brown communities, there has always been

(38:05):
a wounding in the parent child relationship to some degree.
You have your outliers, you have those you know, one
in a neighborhood, healthy family sometimes and then everyone else.
It's like you just see this lack of emotional regulation,
lack of ability to be your authentic self so much
fear so for me knowing that I can't control the world,

(38:28):
and also feeling the daily grief of that when you
have a child. The thing that I really look to
do with my son ut quest Mandela, I love you
so much, is teach him how to be aware of himself.
I am not going to be able to control everything
that happens in his life, and I don't want to
hold him in an environment where he's wearing rose colored glasses.

(38:51):
So I just look to really build his emotional intelligence
at a very young age. And so a lot of
that is using affirmative words. Since he was an infant,
I would sit over him every night and I would say,
you know, I love myself. I am loving and kind,
I am strong and resilient, I am creative and curious.
I am kind. And then now he says them for

(39:14):
himself every day. He says, I love myself, I'm cherished,
I'm valued by my mom, I'm you know. I'm teaching
him the words that will help build his core identity
to be in a foundation of deep worth. And then
I think, you know, what's important is teaching them how
to identify their emotions navigating in the world. That's a

(39:34):
skill so many of us didn't get. And so with him,
when he's upset, when he's happy, I try to give
him language for the things that he's feeling, even before
he can use the words. And when he's upset, you know,
I ask him, do you need a hug right now?
You know, what are you feeling? Someone who's like I'm frustrated,
I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling upset, I'm feeling sad, and

(39:55):
just greeting all of that and not taking it personally
and not letting it change the way I feel about
myself or assume that anything is wrong. I think that
is one of the things that comes up with even
the best parents who just want to shower their kids
with love. Depending on what our life experiences, parenting is

(40:15):
one of the most triggering things you could ever do
in your life. It shows you where all your own
wounds lie. It shows you where maybe things happen in
your childhood that were different and things that you maybe
needed that you're now giving your kid. So many of
us are loving our children in a way that we
were never loved. So I think just giving him the

(40:38):
space to be a kid as well is really important
to me. Everyone that meets my child is always like,
he's the sweetest guy ever, or he's so happy, or
he's so this. And because I'm not trying to shift
his behavior, I'm not telling him he needs to grow
up faster. He's for He doesn't need to be super sophisticated.
He doesn't need to have to know how to shake
hands perfectly, or how to do this or that, or

(40:59):
how to appear like a little adult. He is his
own being and I let him be himself. Do you
let him play sports? His dad play NFL football. You
talk to a lot of people in the sports world
do you allow him to play that because it feels like,
even in sports, they take this one emotion and they
make you use that motion against their opponents. Right, it's
usually anger, Right, it's usually aggressive. Right. You've never seen

(41:22):
a football play that's nice, like, hey, how are you
doing today? I'm going to tackle you in the second.
You don't see that? You know? So do you allow
him to play football in sports? But that's not something
you thought of already? No, he will not play football. Yeah,
and that's something that we really talked a lot about
even during my pregnancy. Um, and that is a that

(41:42):
is a wish and a desire from his father as well. Um. No,
it's it's because you know that he's four, but he
size of an eight year old. Let the record, before
he physically ever got here, I said that he was
going to be seven feet tall three hundred fifty. Well
what's the reason that. Yeah? Um, you know, science is

(42:06):
showing how much football can affect your brain and I'm
not willing to take that risk with my child. Um.
And I think that some of the science that is
coming out is also showing that kids as early as
playing even flag football are getting concussions, and that children
who are um even playing in high school are showing

(42:28):
effects of CTE. And I'm just I'm completely unwilling to
risk my child's brain. Um, but I think you know,
I'm open to other kind of sports, like I always say, laugh,
I'm like, he can golf. We got volleyball, badminton, baseball,
you know basketball. Yeah, so no boxing, no boxing, no football,

(42:49):
no tennis. Tennis is good. He can he can make
his own choices when he's an adult man. Track Yeah,
he can run track. You know, he can meditate, we
could do yoga. Lacrosse is on the come up. Lacresse
is tough. There's some polo. Now, let's talk about how
a person can build a daily self care like spiritual

(43:09):
practice routine just start healing and changing their life. How
does a person do that? Oh, this is the most
important thing. And I know, I know you have yours. Now,
do you guys feel like Angela Vie? You guys are
have like your morning routines and tradition for kind of
not for me in the morning so much. It would
be more before I go to bed, before bed, that's
perfect too. I I do some in the morning. I've

(43:31):
always renting late I mean, y'all wake up very early,
but my practice at night is where I get like,
really really deeply connected. So everyone talks right now about changing,
about growing, transforming healing, you have to make it sustainable
so that it's actually becomes your lived experience and not

(43:54):
just something you speak but are not acting or living.
That is what your daily practice does. And I think
you know sometimes in the mainstream you hear the word
self care and it's like, yeah, girl, go shop in,
have some self care. Oh, go take a bag, get
a massage. Yes, And your self care is it's really
the practice that supports your life, that supports your destiny,

(44:17):
that supports your healing. And so what you want to
do when you're building a practice, first, identify how much
time you have. I know a lot of people work
really hard and have a lot of responsibilities. So even
if only five minutes is possible, please please try to
gift yourself with this. But if you can be more
expansive and spend thirty minutes, spend an hour, that could
be really powerful. What you want to do is you

(44:39):
want to build your daily practice around the four pillars
of wholeness, which is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual you
want to find something to do every day that falls
in one of those categories, and so that could look
like For mental, that could look like journaling, just getting
your thoughts out. It doesn't have to be dear diary style.
It could be a couple of bullet points. It could

(45:00):
be wow, I noticed that I keep thinking about this
one thought every day. It helps to build or re
establish your intuition, which is also something that a lot
of people lack because they so often go against what
their gut tells them to do. Our intuition is our
souls GPS, it's our guiding system as the human experience.

(45:20):
So it's really important that we ignite that ability in ourselves.
That's the mental category. Looking at the emotional category, that
could be meditation every day, you know, really sitting and
getting still, getting quiet and opening up your internal world,
really coming into a space of knowing how to be

(45:41):
with yourself, how to meet yourself, how to remember all
of who you truly are, outside of the roles that
we play in life, outside of the things that have
happened to us. You look at physical For some that's
a workout, Like I know, Y'll be working out. Everybody
be working out every day, but that could also look
like a daily stretch practice, that could look like yo,
that could look like remembering to massage your own shoulders

(46:03):
at the end of the night because you're aching and
you deserve your own touch. And then if we look
at the spiritual category, that could really look like affirmations
every day speaking life over yourself. And let's take it
a step deeper than you know, some of the ones
of like I am abundance or I am love or
I am strong really call forward what you want to embody.

(46:26):
You know, one of my first affirmations and my healing
journey was I'm a precious child of God, leading, leading
from my heart's center. Yeah, I think that was a
piece of it. I'm a precious child of God, leading
from my soul's center, working in mastery of my being.
Saying that over myself every day changed me. So doing

(46:48):
something every day that supports who you are and who
you're becoming and who you have become is essential. It
also teaches you emotional regulation, which means that every day
you can go into the world as your true self
and not as the version of you that's constantly reacting
to things. So I got to update my mantra as
the mantra gotten me. Oh yeah, yeah, time to update, okay.

(47:12):
And I always say, when it comes to when it
comes to our affirmations, our mantras keep evolving them. Once
you feel that something clicked into place and you have
really been wearing that, let's hit something else, you know,
maybe start to notice what are some other little crevices
of my life that I want to refine. If I

(47:33):
feel that I've healed or really done a lot of
work around my trauma, maybe now I want to start
to investigate. What's my relationship to money, what's my relationship
to prosperity. Let me heal that dynamic. What's my relationship
to the masculine to the feminine in my life? Let
me look at healing or evolving that experience. But there's

(47:53):
always more, There's always deeper. Why is it being on
a healing journey so and so exhausting Because our lived
experiences are you know, we are to be alive and
to be human is to be deeply challenged every day.

(48:14):
You know. For a lot of people that meant having
really challenging experiences as young people, as adults. For others,
it's just turning the news on every day and seeing
how painful it is to be a witness to so
much tragedy, especially so much tragedy that you know, we
don't really have the opportunity to shift fully. It's hard

(48:36):
to behold all that we're seeing right now. It is,
and we're doing this very dualistic job of staying present
in our lives, updating our social media, doing all the things,
raising our kids, doing the things, and seeing people shot
dead on a daily basis. You know that we don't
even know the long term effects of taking on this

(48:58):
much grief every day, which is another reason why having
that daily practice it makes it not just easier, but
it does give you the opportunity to have more joy
even through the midst of all of this. I was
going to ask you, you know, with especially with kids,
I'm noticing and I'm seeing kids are more emotional, right, Yeah,

(49:19):
They're more explaining their feelings, expressing their feelings, trying to
find themselves at an early age. Is that a good
or a bad thing? Right? And the reason I'm asking
most people are be like, oh, that's a good thing.
But I'm seeing a lot of kids not being able
to find themselves and hurting themselves committing suicide or being
very quote unquote emo as kids say, So is that
a good thing a bad thing? Because as a kid,

(49:41):
that's one thing I don't think I thought of. I
don't know if anybody else in the room thought of.
As a kid, I didn't think about how I felt.
I just went outside and had fun. I went to
school because I had to. I ate because I had to. Nowadays,
you know, kids are you know, they're finding out more
about themselves. They're telling you why they don't want to
eat vegetables. They're like, it's more of that. But it's
that good or is that bad? I think because we're

(50:01):
encouraging conversation, Like I know, growing up, bout my dad,
shut up, punch me in the chest, you know what
I mean? Like we would talk to suppress our emotions
a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, And you know, from
my view as a kid, I was always talking about
my feelings to the point that it made all the
adults in my life really irritated. And so then you
kind of hide them a little bit. I think there,

(50:23):
you know, there is no good or bad, and I
think that it's both at the same time. And what
I think is so important about being a conscious and
active parent in your child's life is really witnessing them
for themselves, not through our lens of projection of who
we want them to be or who we were at
their age, but looking and saying, you know, if my
child is this way, if they are quote unquote emo,

(50:45):
or if they are a deep feeler or feeling this
pressure to know who they are, how can I one
soothe that a little bit? You know? How can I
make that more of a gentle experience for them and
the words I use with themselves? And then also how
can I support that? How can I if the community
they need for who they are is not around them,

(51:08):
how can I look to supplement that in their lives?
In some ways, I think it's both. I mean, I
think it's incredible that kids are as self aware as
they are. It's kind of mind blowing, you know. I
work with a lot of gen z. Like I just
taught for a semester in Atlanta with this group of
young men who were roughly around the age of sixteen.

(51:28):
So many of the things that I was teaching them,
they were so familiar with those concepts already, which was like, what,
how do y'all know how you feel already, but then
at the same time it can become too much of
a focus to where you're not giving yourself the chance
to be something new, to learn new things. I have
two more questions in that action I want to ask

(51:50):
of you. But the first question is what does self
acceptance look like. Acceptance looks like deep surrender and deep trust.
To accept yourself means that you are aware of all

(52:12):
that you are, including the things that may be a
little bit unfinished or the things that you may have judged,
but to know that it all serves purpose. You know,
to have acceptances to also have this trust that I
may not like everything that's happening right now or that
has happened to me, but I do understand and trust
that it is serving a purpose I don't yet know.

(52:36):
And so I am an acceptance of what currently is.
Doesn't mean you don't want it to change, doesn't mean
it doesn't have the potential to change. But I'm an
acceptance that this jest is when you come into acceptance,
you come into your personal power because you're not trying
to fight everything, you're not trying to control every outcome.
You're creating this space for more to unfold, and that's

(52:59):
where you get to be creative with yourself. You get
to be creative with your life. You get to be
a co creator of what this journey will look like
for you. But you have to be an acceptance. If
you're in judgment of yourself, if you're in judgment of
your life experiences, it makes it almost impossible to change
any of them in a really meaningful way. Is that
the first step to beginning to love yourself? Because that's

(53:21):
my second question, How do you begin to love yourself?
I think they're kind of both happening at the same time,
but I will say you to love yourself. It's a
constantly evolving process, but I think it does require that
daily practice that I talked about. Loving yourself requires your
own sweat equity into yourself and your body. Loving yourself

(53:42):
can't be related to how really you look, how other
people are validating you or not, how they're treating you.
It has to be like, I exist and that's enough,
and that alone is worthy of love. I am breathing
right now. That is worthy of love, That is worthy
of gratitude, no matter who I've been, no matter what
choices I want to redo. There is more to me

(54:04):
than one definition. So yeah, the action I want to
ask is, like, you know, I know we have a
lot of people listening right now. They might have seen
the sessions they you know, probably listen to dropping gems.
I want to do like a mindfulness minute, like what's up?
What's up? Breathing exercise is something that we could do
to like just ground people right now in this moment.

(54:25):
I would love to are you guys all going to
do with me? Sure? Okay? I want to ask everybody
right now listening connecting to the sound of my voice
Angela and v Shar come into a relaxed state with
your body, and I want to invite you to gently
close your eyes and if you can just uncross your

(54:46):
arms a little bit and let your back sit really supported,
let your spine feel straight and supported. And I want
you to just notice your body now with your eyes closed,
and notice how your seat feels, how you feel in
your seat, and just see if there's an opportunity to
feel a little softer inside of your body right now

(55:08):
in this moment. Release any tension that maybe in your shoulders.
Let your forearms just be really gently on the tops
of your thighs. Maybe turn your palms upward into a
state of receiving. Unclench your jaw if there's any pressure present,

(55:30):
and now let yourself just stretch your neck a little
bit from side to side. Your eyes are closed, and
now let's connect to our breath first. Begin to notice
how your natural breath is feeling in your body, how
it feels in your chest, in and out, supporting your existence.

(55:56):
And I want to invite you to take your right
hand and place it over your chest, right at your
heart center. And now just notice what that pressure of
your hand feels like. Would you like it to be
a firmer touch, a lighter touch. Can the palm of
your hand connect to the core of your heart? And

(56:19):
just notice the support that you feel in your body
holding yourself in this way. And now we're going to
begin some deep breathing through our noses. We're going to
do some big inhales through her nose and then out
of our nose, and we'll do this three times together.
And what we're looking to do is take a big

(56:43):
deep inhale, slowly fully starting now filling your chest and
really stretched, take it a little more air, and then
hold the air at the top. Once it's in, allow
it to circulate for a moment. And now as we
breathe out of our nose, I want you to do

(57:04):
it slowly and fully, really pace yourself on that exhale,
let it all come out. And now we'll begin that
breath again and through your nose, let your chest expand
your heart open, hold it and release. And now begin

(57:31):
again in through your nose and hold it and release
that breath. And I still gently closed, hand over heart,
allow yourself to return to whatever breath feels natural and

(57:52):
nourishing and internally right now, silently to yourself, I'd like
you to repeat, I am calling forward my highest self.
I am calling forward my highest self. I am calling
forward my highest self. I am calling forward my highest self.

(58:18):
And I want you to think about something currently present
in your life, something that has charged it could be
perceived as good as challenging, but something that you've really
been chewing on lately. Some dynamic may be in your
life or relationship, or something you're excited about. I would

(58:39):
just want you to hold that seat in your mind's eye,
whatever is unique to you that you are working with
in this moment, and I want you to think about
any nourishing or evolutionary choices or lens of perceptions that
you can shift to around whatever this morsel is that

(59:03):
you're chewing on, whatever is present. Is it about surrendering,
Is it about an action step, or is it just
an observation something that can be released and now based
on your unique experience that you're holding in your mind

(59:23):
and your heart, I want you to think of an
intention around it. And maybe it is my intention is
to release this, or my intention is to really feel
all of this, or my intention is to manifest this

(59:47):
and silently within your own hearts to yourselves, I want
you to state that intention my intention is, and you
can do it inside in this moment, and everyone connecting
to the sound of my voice listening, I hope you're
doing the same. And now we're gonna do a cleansing

(01:00:10):
lion's breath, which is gonna be a deep inhale through
your nose, and then it'll be followed out by signing
it out through your mouth with your tongue out and
it'll sound a little like this. So we'll begin our
inhale now through our noses and release through your mouth,

(01:00:39):
and now shake out your hand that was on your heart,
allow it to drop back down to the tops of
your thighs, and as you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Ah,
how do you guys? How can I want to sleep?

(01:00:59):
Just that I want to do that. I want to
I've been telling iHeart for the longest. We need a
mindfulness minute on the radio during the middays. I've screamed
it to a million different executives. It needs to happen.
People need that, And you know that experience that we
just did. If everyone could start and end their day

(01:01:19):
like that, we'll probably spent maybe a minute there, right.
If I wasn't talking and you just did the breath
with myself, maybe thirty seconds. That is a daily practice.
What we just did that was breathwork. So that's an
experience that you can invite into your life to regulate
your nervousness. Because what was happening internally as we did
that was our body was able to come into the

(01:01:41):
present moment. We were in the moment of what is
We were inside of our bodies. Many people that heard
my voice were connecting to parts of their bodies for
the first time. If you're under deep stress or you
have had trauma, you don't feel present in your body,
and so to just be able to settle into yourself

(01:02:02):
and then to give yourself that nourishing breath that resets
your emotional center, it changes what's possible. The thing about trauma, depression, stress, anxiety,
it limits what's possible in your life because it limits
the choices you make and how you view yourself. When
you have daily practice and when you do a breath
like that, it reconnects you to the truth of who

(01:02:25):
you are. When you're coming from your authenticity, when you're
not triggered, and from that space, it's limitless because you're
able to make endless amounts of choices of who you'll be,
how you'll behave, what you'll do. And that's what so
many of us need. We just need to be able
to be anchored into the moment, to feel like ourselves
inside so that we can make the decisions that really

(01:02:48):
honor our lives. If you do a panic attacks, anxiety
attacks at work, school, whatever it is, like that gets
you right back to where you need to be, well,
thank you so much. Brand tell them where to follow you.
Death heit me on Instagram at Debbie Brown, my website
Debbie Brown and on Amazon Prime Video. Watch the Sessions.

(01:03:09):
It is an incredible, incredible documentary by Religion of Sports, myself,
Deepak Chopra, and NBA superstar Draymond Green. Are there going
to be other sessions? There are going to be other sessions, um,
and we're really excited. I can't say anything yet, but
we're really excited about how that is going to unfold.
But that is definitely the intention. You know, Um, one

(01:03:30):
of the things I love about the work that I
do is supporting people who have lives of high impact.
You know, when you can show up in this life
of impact that you're living as all of yourself, how
you're actually meant to change the world becomes more alive
and more possible. And pick up DeBie Brown's book, Crystal
Bliss Your Devil was talking about Crystal's Way before everybody

(01:03:51):
else was. That book dropped in with twenty fourteen. Yeah fourteen,
like yeah. And make sure you subscribed to Devi's podcast
Dropping Gyms on the Black Effect podcast Network. There's so many,
you know, high level conscious conversations on that podcast, So
make sure you subscribe to that. Black Effect's Breakfast Club

(01:04:12):
is Debbie Rap