Today on The Breakfast Club, Candace Parker Talks 'The Can-Do Mindset,' WNBA, Retirement, Relationship, Dr.Umar, Stephen A. Listen For More!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Breakfast Club Morning.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Everybody is the j Envy just hilarious, Charlamagne the gud
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
In the building.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Yes, indeed the legend, Candas Parker.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome, thanks for having me all you feeling nice being
in the room. Goodness man, nice having you.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
You know you're one of those people like you know,
people always say like, who would you ever want an interview?
And you really be like, I don't know because you
can't really think of nobody. But then when you see
you on the schedule, You're like, oh shit, Candas Parker.
I'd love to have a conversation with Candas Parker.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I really enjoyed your book, That Can Do Mindset, How
to cultivate resilience, follow your heart and fight for your passions.
Can you break down why you called it the Can
Do Mindset?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah? Growing up nicknamed can short for Candace. You know that,
but my mom. I grew up with two older brothers
eight and eleven years older than me. And fast forward.
My oldest brother played ten years professionally, played alongside Lebron
for years. My middle brother became a doctor, and so
I just saw the enormous role models that were doing
so many great things, and I think sometimes I doubted myself.
(01:06):
And so my mom from the time I was little
two three years old, she'd always see the doubt in
my eye and she'd always be that can do And
it just became my mantra, and it became my voice
in my head. And I mean it took me through
high school knocking down game winning free throws to shoot
even now, and so then it became an acronym for
community authenticity, navigating negativity, loving the dash, which is the
(01:30):
journey in between, and seizing and creating opportunity.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well congratulations. On August twenty fifty at Jersey will be retired,
well deserved. How does that.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Feel to go back home to Chicago. I grew up
in Naperville, and I grew up a Chicago Bulls fan.
I mean, they won six championships in the nineties when
I was living there, and so it became synonymous with winning.
So to go back and play basketball in front of
the people that first saw me pick up a ball,
and then to win a championship in front of the
(01:59):
people first saw me play basketball, I don't think. I mean,
that was super special. I couldn't have written it any better.
And you know, I think first you dream of a
championship being up in the rafters, and second you dream
of your jersey as well.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
You know, I think it was in the authenticity section
of the book you were talking about, you know, being competitive, right,
and how people don't let women be competitive the way
that the men are. So when you see and I
know you get this all the time, but when you
see the Caitlin Angel rivaly or whatever you want to
call it, isn't that just women being competitive?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I think it's women being competitive. But honestly, I think
that the more visibility you get, the more scrutiny you're
gonna get. I mean, that's just nature as women. I
think society always tries to put you in a box.
So as athletes, we fit outside that box. You know,
you're either too muscular, you're not competitive enough. But then
(02:51):
when you show competitive nature, it's not ladylike. So whatever
you do as a woman, I feel like until we
break that mole in society where it's like okay for
us to be fierce competitors, I think you're always going
to have a different narrative, and so yeah, I look
at it like it's competitive and it's two people going
(03:13):
at it, and sometimes I think it's overblown. Sometimes I
think that like you're making a basketball play and then
there's fifteen angles from different cameras that try to, you know,
make it something it's not. So I don't know. I'm
just excited where women's sports is in general right now,
right because people are talking about it, people know the names,
people are following the brands, and a lot of it
(03:35):
has to do with the visibility of it. Women's sports
has always been there. It's just a matter of people
tuning in and paying attention. And I think organizations, broadcasters
all that giving it a chance to succeed, not putting
it head to head up against NFL, not putting it
head to head up against finals or MLB or whatever.
And so I think now we're seeing more women's basketball,
(03:56):
and because of that, I think that's why it's grown.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
The reason I have think we I watch a lot
of women's basketball, and I've been watching Angel since college.
So since even that Caitlyn incident, I've seen her and
Leah Thomas have a little kerfuffle like she's always getting
into it with somebody, but it's not the same reaction
from people.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
It's just to me, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Just like women out there playing ball.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
They're being competitive and I think ballplayers know that. But
now you're getting the casual fans that don't understand that
type of basketball. So I think it's a competitive nature. Now,
are there things that cross the line? Yes, are there
comments and you know, discussions behind things as cross the
line one hundred percent, and I think, you know, we
(04:35):
have to get that under control. But to me, I
think half the time is more competitive than anything.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But does rivalry as well. I remember, you know Reggie
Miller with the choke signed. We you know, we still
want action with him. Regardless, it's still things that's gonna
make the press push it a little more.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
By the way, I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry about what happened. Yeah,
it's okay, though maybe next year. Listen. I'm a Bulls fan,
so you know we're at saying if you're not first,
your last, So technically it's like we weren't even in
the playoffs, So it's okay.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And I want to ask, you know, you dominated the
w NBA broadcast a mom author which was the most
difficult journey, and.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Why motherhood is a journey that is the greatest gift,
gives you the most rewarding feeling, but it's also the
hardest job that you can have. You think you have
it figured out, and then you have another kid, or
you think you have it figured out, and there's another
stage of life. I have a sixteen year old daughter,
a three year old son, and a one year old son,
(05:38):
and they are all different, and they have all taught
me so many different lessons, and I'm just super grateful
for not only what I'm able to bring to the
table and what I teach them, but the lessons they've
taught me. Like, they have humbled me so many times,
they have checked me so many times. They have made
me look myself in the mirror and ask myself, am
(05:58):
I doing what I'm asking them to do? And so
I think motherhood is one of those things where I'm
just so grateful for it. I'm so grateful for my
daughter and what, you know, us being able to kind
of go through my career and grow up together and
fumble and bump and live across the water and all
of those things. And then I'm super grateful to be
able to now take a moment with my sons and
(06:20):
be able to have a different type of perspective in
motherhood and parenthood.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
What's a moment in motherhood that made you feel more
powerful than any championship ever did? Was it you finally
got her hair right?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You know, it's so interesting. She's sixteen now, she's just
got her permit. You know, she's getting ready for her
super sweet sixteen that's coming next week. And honestly, I
think it's just those moments where she comes and climbs
in my bed and we watch a TV show and
we're able to have those like just conversations about what's
on her mind and things like that. So that to
(06:54):
me is like, it's not the big things, it's not
the celebrations, it's not you know, all those things, just
like those little moments for me that make me super
grateful for you know, our relationship.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I love the way you broke that down in the
Fumble chapter though, because it's just like, I got four daughters,
so I've seen that struggle, but I've never seen nobody
like really talk about how stressful it is to want
to get your daughter's hair correct.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
When I tell you so growing up, it was like
my mom my hair was always laid like. It was
like she would tell me, no, we're not having everybody
talk about how you look crazy. You know. I had
the Bretts, I had the braids. I was the little
girl and her only girls. I was dressed, you know,
all those things. And you know, I think all of
(07:43):
the black girls out there can understand. Fried died late
to the side. I mean I had relaxer at six
years old. So when it came to like my daughter's hair,
I kind of took those same kind of foundation from
the mom mentality of trying to control. And my daughter
(08:04):
has taught me, like she loves her hair, she wants
to wear it in her natural style, she wants to
try different things, and I've had to kind of like
take a back seat and learn to not try to control.
There are some days where I, you know, I let
her do what she wants to do with it, and
it has become a process and it has become something
(08:24):
that you know, I have learned to kind of take
a back seat for. And I'm grateful for her for
teaching me.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
That what part of your personality do you think was
misunderstood the most during your planning career in this book
helped you to, like I guess, reclaim the narrative.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
What's so crazy to me is I think when you're
going through just trying to figure stuff out, you're just
trying to figure shit out, like that's what you're trying
to do, but you're going through life trying to like
mask it. And for so many parts of my life,
during some of my greatest triumphs, winning championships, winning MVP,
(09:00):
I was going through struggles behind the scenes, within motherhood
and balancing that within relationships, within you know, trying to
figure out how to be authentic and who I am.
And I think the person that I became in that
process and who I was for my teammates wasn't always great.
It wasn't always who I was, And so I think
through writing this book it has helped me better understand
(09:22):
who I want to be, who I commit to be,
but also like giving myself grace through those moments, because
I think sometimes we show up and we feel like
we have to be this at work, but we're still
not ourselves and the people around us know that, and
then they start treating us like those people that we
aren't and then it just snowballs out of control. So
I think who I am. People may have had a
(09:46):
different idea, you know what I mean. And I wasn't
always proud of the way that I treated my teammates
or how I showed up to work every day. But
sometimes when you're just trying to show up and you're
trying to make it, you know, that's the best that
you can do. I think I kind of like went
through that and processed that in writing this book.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
What was the most difficult thing you had to write
in a book? The one difficult thing it was like
thought about maybe I should take out or you cried
or it was that hard.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's really difficult to tell stories that are that need
to be told, that aren't going to paint certain people
in a positive light. And I think I struggle with
that because I like to take the blame. I like
to take the onus on myself in games and losses
and mishots and whatever. I like to say that I've
(10:32):
always had a part in whatever happens. And so writing
this is trying to figure out how do you tell
these stories and how do you tell it where it's
it's your story to tell, whereas you're not telling somebody
else's story, because I was very conscious of that. So
just kind of talking about like my parents' divorce and
talking about you know, leaving the Sparks, the La Sparks
(10:53):
and deciding to go to Chicago, talking about my wife,
and then also like near and dear to my heart,
like Coach Summit, my coach in college passed away in
twenty sixteen, and kind of navigating that and what to share,
what's intimate that I need to keep with myself to myself,
and what can I share and what I have her
blessing and sharing.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Has your greatness ever made you feel isolated? Like people
only saw Kansas pocket a player, but not can just
pok at a person?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
You know, it's so crazy. You know in basketball, there's
like a finite time, right the ball is gonna eventually
stop bouncing, you know, Father Tim, I mean, Lebron has
kind of proven that's not the case, but for most
of us, But it's like your identity becomes the game,
Like you keep the main thing, the main thing that's
been my gift my whole life. Basketball has been the
(11:43):
main thing. I gave up prom like left prom to
go to basketball, lived abroad to play basketball. But it's
like when you retire, your identity of the who and
the what is separated, and you realize, like the people
that really saw you for who you are versus what
you did. And so I think that was the biggest
(12:04):
struggle for me, is like everybody has that mourning that
death after you retire. I mean, I love basketball. It
was my first love. And so I think, yeah, like
separating my identity from that, and I was very conscious
of trying to show people like I am a history buff,
I love to travel, I'm a foodie, I love wine, tequila,
connoisseur like all of those things. I'm so much more
(12:26):
than just basketball. And so having that separation, I know,
is like huge for athletes. It is a struggle like
talking to people that have retired and have gone and
walked that path because it is it is the death
a little bit who well to grieve with my family, honestly,
(12:47):
my wife, I'll say my brother as well. My oldest
brother went through this and he seamlessly transitioned. I planned
the transition ahead of time, you know. I started commentating
gosh way back in twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen. I started transitioning.
I started doing more business and paying attention and wanting
(13:07):
to be at the table and in meetings and things
like that. So the transition occurred before it officially the
ball officially stopped bouncing. But boy, there were days where
I'd wake up and it's just like you miss that
feeling of walking in and eighteen thousand people are screaming
your name, and like the feeling of like your family's
identity is that, like they plan their summers around when
(13:29):
my games were, or trips or as a kid you've
been doing. It's an a in It's crazy because you realize,
although I don't like attention, that's not what I played
basketball for. It's an event. You go play, everybody watches
you play, the attention your parents give it is and
then afterwards everybody's like where are we going to eat?
(13:49):
You go eat. Then it's like you know, and it's
like you don't realize how much of that is a
part of your life. And so for me, I think
that was the hardest thing. But like I said, I
have my family. We had my son last year and
he just he just was like he had the ability
to make me stop and realize, like that's where I
(14:10):
was supposed to be. I've always been fifteen million different places,
and so I think, honestly, my son Heart made me
really appreciate retirement because I got to enjoy all the
little things.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
But jealous is not the right word. But do you
ever get jealous or feel a way when you look
at the way MWNBA players are treated now than when
you guys played. I just remember, like two three years ago,
I was on a plane flying from Atlanta and there
was some players from the Atlanta team. They were in
the back of the plane and they couldn't get first
class seats and they were riding and they were struggling, and
(14:42):
they even said, and Beau talk this, talk about this
on the radio. But now when you see and they're
starting to fly private and they start to make a
little more money, they start making endorsements, do you ever
feel a way like damn.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
You got to feel it.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
You got to feel it a little bit of that.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
You know.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
What's so crazy though, I'm like the biggest Steph Curry fan.
You remember when he signed deal. It was like a
forty million dollars deal years ago, and everybody, no, no, no,
it's for the NBA. It was right after his ankle injury,
and everybody kept asking him about it because it was
right during their run in twenty fifteen. He was like,
I never counted another man's pocket, Like that's just not
(15:15):
what I do. I feel like that's the purpose, Like
if we didn't leave it better, what are we doing?
Like I don't want them to have to go through
what we went through. But I also know that Cheryl Miller,
who never got to step foot in the WNBA, didn't
want me to not have have a league to play in.
Do you know what I mean? And so I think like, yes,
(15:36):
sometimes would it have made Would I scored more points
if we had a private flight waiting for what I
would have made more? Would I have made more like
school performances? If I could get back the night of
the game and been able to sleep and rest and
recover what I probably had a lot fewer injuries one
hundred percent. But I feel like I'm proud because I
know my name will be mentioned in the conversation of
(15:59):
these that made it possible today, like made the things
possible today. I remember flying commercial and Premium Plus in
a middle seat next to Sylvia Fowls, going to play
them in the game five of the WNBA Finals. We
we like wrestled over the arm rest. I won, but
like they won the game, but I won the arm
(16:21):
ress battle, and I remember thinking like, this isn't how
it's supposed to be. But now on the other side,
I want to I want ownership, like I want to
own a team, like I want to be a part
of that in making it better as well. So I
can't count another woman's pocket. I don't want to. I've
done well myself and the ability to take care of
(16:42):
my family and have all the opportunities I have today
because of the Cheryl Millers and the Nancy Lieberman's and
Shimiko host Claus and all those that came before.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Me and your six in year career. Did you feel
the difference? So I always ask my aunts this question,
right because my aunt like they're older like something. Those
they lived they were in school during segregation, so now
they know an integrated world.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Did you feel the difference? Oh, I felt the difference
one hundred percent. But I also felt the difference in
the ebbs and flows like there were some There was
one year where the WBA signed a deal with the
Holiday and Express and every time Jesus I would walk
into the holiday and express the fans would be like,
what are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
So I've been a part of the WBA at the
highest of highs and the lowest lows, and I talk
about it a lot in the book about the WNBA
and the business plan that needs to happen to continue
this growth and to foster this growth, because I just
that was what I had an issue with for so long,
like scare money doesn't make money. In order to have something,
(17:49):
you have to invest in it, and you have to
invest properly. And I think now we're getting billionaires that
see and have the mindset and the business savvy and
it's about competition, you see, like Vegas had a practicility,
Now New York wants a practicility, then Phoenix has a
Like competition is what started the NBA. You look at
that like Johnny Buss wanted a championship team because of
(18:12):
red our back, Like that's what That's what facilitates growth.
And so I think the WBA is finally catching up
to that.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Do you think the world has truly reckoned with how
different your career would be if you were a man
with the exact same time.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I talk about it a lot. Yeah, McDonald's all American.
In two thousand and four, Dwight Howard and myself, we
were the number one players. I was woman's, he was
men's and I Actually there's a blurb in the book
where him and I went to prom when I was
in high school, and our trajectories were so different after
that day, and I was angry. I remember being angry
(18:47):
because like, inside my house, my mom and dad, you
can do and be anything, and you know, at that
point you couldn't have nil money. So I'm watching, you know,
my quotes be on shirts sold, I'm watching everybody in
Knoxville wearing my Journey jersey and I'm wearing I'm eating
Papa John's before games because the school can't even pay
for my meal because it was illegal at the time.
And so in the in the book, I talk about
(19:09):
kind of like I was really upset because yes, he's six', ten, big,
strong but he had this league laid out that was already,
growing that had already been through the growing pains of
WHAT i was about to go. Through and THEN i
just was, like my left hand is better than.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
His and SO i was mad BECAUSE i was, like you,
know he has this league to go develop and use
his name and image and, likeness AND i have to
wait four years go abroad and compete in a league
that you know was geez twenty years.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Young. Wow.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Wow another part of the, BOOK I love You. Know
it was interesting to read about how you came to
grow to love your wife, Right and it had me
thinking what because you, did, like, guys so have you
thinking like what else about? Yourself did you realize it's
just isn't?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Me what's so interesting IS i Think i've spent my
entire life standing, out and somehow in that process SOMETIMES
i did things just to stand out and not really
listen to myself and WHO i wanted to. Be and
that's kind of opposite of What i've always tried to live.
(20:18):
By and for a long, time it took my daughter
really being like are you? Happy you, know for me
to really look myself in the mirror and, say AM
i just going through the? Motions and at twenty years,
OLD i don't think you realize how long twenty years
or thirty years or forty years, is, right and just
(20:41):
kind of gritting your teeth and you, know getting through
things is WHAT i had grown accustomed, to AND i
think it was allowing myself to be. OPEN i always
grew up envisioning myself with The Prince charming, always and
you never in a million, years WHEN I i do
those little trashy magazine, THINGS i would always talk About Prince.
(21:04):
Charming and it's crazy because sometimes life hands you things
and packages that you least anticipated coming. In and that's
what happened with my. WIFE i, mean she's my best
friend and she's been there through the ups and, downs
AND i think it was about like her AND i
both being, like wait a, Minute like are we allowing
other people's judgments to dictate the next thirty or forty?
(21:27):
Years Like i'm going to allow My instagram followers to
really determine WHO i say good morning to and WHO
i say good night to every single. Night AND i
had to take a step back BECAUSE i really don't
care what people. Think but THEN i really, did and
so it was kind of just like that evaluation and
look at myself in the, mirror.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
When did you? Realize what was that?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Moment WHEN i didn't fight, IT i would say we
were at a. Museum i'm a big. NERD i love
like all types of, museums and it was her, mind
like it was her, knowledge and like just her ability
to carry a. Conversation and my brother says something when
when her AND i got, married my brother said something
(22:07):
that really stuck out to, me and he, said you,
Know cannice needs somebody that's strong enough to put her
in her, place but soft enough where she feels vulnerable
and an ability to like kind of like lay lay
your head on your shoulder and be that vulnerable. Person
and WHEN i REALIZED i was doing that WHERE i you,
(22:28):
know she would say something AND i wouldn't have any.
Response and at first some of my friends were, like hold,
on who is? She like you know WHAT i, mean
because that's not normally what. Happens and then the same
thing WHERE i would confess things that were bothering me
or you, know have issues and be comfortable enough to.
SHARE i think that's that's WHAT i. Noticed did the.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
People in your life know how difficult it was for
you to KEEP i guess her a? Secret BECAUSE i,
mean like in the book YOU i MEAN i got
FRONT i got frustrated when you was talking about how
you wanted to tell your, brother but you didn't tell
Your i'm, like just tell them he loves, you you.
Know but did they know are they going to read
this book and realize for the first, Time, like, DAMN
i didn't know it was that.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Serious i've been on the other side of it Where
i've been the person that has been like everybody, knows
just say, it just tell. Him BUT i think everybody
comes to grips with it at a different. TIME i
know we live in a world that has pride month
and has all these, things but it is scary because
you are put in another. Category you, Know i'm already in,
(23:32):
two so Now i'm going to be put in a
third and with you, know someone that isn't, black She's
russian and, white and SO i, MEAN i think it's
one of those things where it's like what AM i
getting myself? Into AND i know my family is going
to love, Me BUT i have always done things to
(23:52):
separate myself and excel and be a role model and
be an. Example AND i think at that first, Moment i'm,
like are my nieces and nephew's going to be allowed
to come out and visit?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Me?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Like are is my family gonna accept? Her when we have,
children are they going to look at them as their
grandkids or so there's all these questions and things you
go back and forth with in your. Head AND i
know it seems, easy especially when you're not and you're
looking at the world and you're, like, oh, well it's
so open and, accepting but it's like you've never sat
(24:22):
there and seen the glances of like you, know people,
judging or you, know you never walked in the rooms
and you know heard voices give you, validation but you
hear whispers behind you, like, oh you, know she's just like,
them or she's you know. Whatever and SO i think
that's the biggest thing is my brother was amazing throughout
(24:42):
the entire. Process my family was, great but my wife
parents hadn't talked to her for almost a. Year, wow you,
know like we had family members that we have separated
ourselves from because in front with my family and with my,
kids this is the, standard like this is how we're
going to be true read, It and so there had
to be we couldn't go through this process ourselves and
(25:05):
help others go through. It so we had to do it,
ourselves be okay with, it be strong, enough and then you,
know go forward with, it can you can't rush.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It the, Sexuality paul was one aspect of, it but
you also talked about the race aspect of, it like
you really can with Doctor umar thought that.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Much, no but it is it's a different dynamic when
you walk, it you know WHAT i? Mean like first of,
all like you, know even with our, kids it's, like you,
know they have a black mom and a white, mom
and you, know it's like navigating the the race element
(25:43):
and the. Conversations we've grown up in two completely different,
countries so having those conversations like she's not coming from
a place of understanding through experience and so like even
so you, know we're confident and we're cool within our,
household but it's like you don't understand the other noise
that's going could mess that, up if that makes. Sense
(26:06):
have there ever.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Been a time where you dimmed your light to make
others feel, comfortable especially in rooms full of.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Men you, know it's so. FUNNY i was SITTING i
was sitting on the shop and it was With Draymond
green bron was, There mav was, there and they were,
like you, know people don't understand what it's like to
be a black man and be the only one in the.
Meeting AND i was looking, around like what y'all really
(26:34):
just said? That like read through you know WHAT i.
Mean SO i think sometimes you have to pick your
battles a little. Bit as a, teammate my job is
to make those around me. Better so same thing when
you're sitting at these, Tables like the point isn't to
make people feel stupid or feel. Small the point is
to make them understand the need for different voy at the.
(27:00):
Table AND i would say diversity of, thought you. Know
and you Know i've sat at so many tables and
been the Only i'm, comfortable But i'm tired of being
the only, Right like WHEN i went INTO t AND
t as the only female on that. Set you know
(27:23):
a lot of people, think, HEY i want. You you,
know you're trying to be one of the. Guys like,
No i'm trying to be one of the. Players that's,
It so treat me as. Such the WAY i see
the game is way different than shack, shack throw the
ball down, low barbecue chicken. Shack other people have to
do moves we can't just we just. Can't, Yes but
like the way he played was just so dominant that
(27:43):
he doesn't understand that people have to do stuff to.
Score he's, like just throw it down there and, score
and it's Like cat can't do. That he's not do
you know WHAT i. Mean i'm not, saying But cat
can't do, that D wade AND i. Can we can't do.
That we have to do moves and use the mental
aspect and element of. It BUT i feel like the
value that is brought to the table if you had
(28:04):
fifteen shacks what at you know as, analysts but he
brings value to the equation because he was so, dominant
and it gives you a bird's eye view of like.
Dominance and SO i just think anytime you have different
people at the, table you're gonna bring different perspectives like why?
Not and so it just drives me. CRAZY i watched First.
(28:26):
TAKE i Like STEVEN. A. Smith he's super knowledgeable about the.
Game but like the people that comment under my my
posts about How i'm a, WOMAN i never played in
THE nba AND i should shut the f up and blahah,
blah but they are Like STEPHEN. A smith has The
bible for THE, nba and it's like he hasn't, Either
but it's just because you know he's a, man and
(28:48):
SO i just am continuing to fight that. Stigma i'm
open for the. Challenge i'm up for. It grew up
with two older. Brothers all we did was make fun
of each, Other So I'm i'm. GAME i can speak that.
Language but it's just having the opportunity to like separate, myself,
like don't like me as an, analyst but don't not
like me Because i'm a. Woman that's my.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Thing was that a moment when YOU i, know she
got to? Go was there ever a moment that you
wanted to give the game up at?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
All there was a moment in the middle of my
career WHERE i asked, myself are you having? Fun BECAUSE
i always had fun playing. Basketball it wasn't about the,
money it wasn't about the, stage it wasn't about who
was in the. CHAIR i would have fun shooting after
practice by myself in the. Gym but in the middle
of my, career WHEN i was going through all those
(29:32):
injuries and hadn't won a championship yet AND i was super. Stressed,
YEAH i thought about, it AND i think it's one
of those things where it's like your first. Love it
never leaves your heart like you always find your way
back to. It and even Though i'm not hooping, Now
i'm brainwashing my sons to who my daughter's. Volleyball But
(29:53):
parker boys are. Coming i'm telling. You six,' ten six eleven. Point, forward,
yeah seven we Got a bronz body type and, a
whimby so we. Come in. Let it let it be known.
Right here you.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Said something that. The perspective thing is ill about what
you Said about shaq because it's, just, like yes he
was probably the most dominant player we've. Ever seen so
he only. Knows that he thinks it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Barbecue Chicken and, I'm, like shack it's not. Barbecue chicken
if it was, the case we would have people would
just do what. You, do like it just doesn't work.
That way AND so I just i. Don't know he
is brilliant in his, own right it's just people can't
play the game. That.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Way yeah two more. Cool questions is THERE a wnba
teammate you didn't appreciate in, the moment but now you
realize that person.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Was, vital yeah that's, a, really really really. GREAT question
i WOULD say i appreciated her in, the MOMENT but
i DON'T think i appreciated her enough in. THE moment
i would Say Definitely Delicia. MILTON jones i think she's
someone that was in the league for such a. Long
(31:00):
time she had such an, amazing, career longevity, won championships
with the, sparks played, different roles played, key roles came
off the bed like she did it all AND so
i think she genuinely wanted me. To succeed and, YOU
know i was a rookie when she, was there and,
you know we got in some. Brawls alongside she beat
(31:20):
me up in practice coming, off screens and it was
like all that was tough love because she.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Loved me oh my, Last question and, you know you
talk about a lot of things in, the book but
what's something you haven't forgiven yourself, for yet even if
nobody else knows. ABOUT it.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I WOULD say i struggled for a long time in
the closing seconds of, Games, MENTALLY wow i did because
the results didn't work out. FOR me i talk about
that a lot in, this book about HOW naive i
was my rookie year we lost by a last. Second
shot nine, YEARS later i was still losing by last,
second SHOTS and i felt myself in those moments tense
(31:55):
up WHEN prior i would relish in those MOMENTS like
i Would be i'd want, the BALL and i would
find myself shying away from those MOMENTS because i had
conceded to the fact that it was just not gonna.
Work out and it took, My brother it took me
finally realizing how to relinquish results and just live in,
(32:16):
the process the, dash right enjoying. The journey it Took
A kobe bryant text message to me, that, was like
it's better the. Hard way you don't die with bullets
in the chamber right like you go. Down shooting and
it was that text message and just the support from
(32:36):
my family and friends that allowed me to win. The
championship and it came down to the, closing moments and in,
THOSE moments i just played and it could have not.
Worked out it could have, worked OUT but i just
since that TIME when, I lose i'm not in bed
for four or, five Days like i'm gonna commit to.
The process i'm gonna commit to. The grind i'm gonna
honestly try to stay at that like even. Keeled mentality
(32:58):
and that's in life, as WELL and i wholeheartedly believe
things will work out the way that they.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Need to, all right can just talk ladies and gentlemen
and do mindset out, right now go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Get it thank you.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
So much we. APPRECIATE you i.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Appreciate you, all right thank yous.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
And starts back up checking. On us come on, up here.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
We'd love to talk, to you say us.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And w ab this season up, right now so come talk.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
To Us It's.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Candas parker It's The. Breakfast club. Good morning wake that
ass up in.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
The Morning Come.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Breakfast club
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Breakfast Club Morning.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Everybody is the j Envy just hilarious, Charlamagne the gud
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
In the building.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Yes, indeed the legend, Candas Parker.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome, thanks for having me all you feeling nice being
in the room. Goodness man, nice having you.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
You know you're one of those people like you know,
people always say like, who would you ever want an interview?
And you really be like, I don't know because you
can't really think of nobody. But then when you see
you on the schedule, You're like, oh shit, Candas Parker.
I'd love to have a conversation with Candas Parker.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I really enjoyed your book, That Can Do Mindset, How
to cultivate resilience, follow your heart and fight for your passions.
Can you break down why you called it the Can
Do Mindset?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah? Growing up nicknamed can short for Candace. You know that,
but my mom. I grew up with two older brothers
eight and eleven years older than me. And fast forward.
My oldest brother played ten years professionally, played alongside Lebron
for years. My middle brother became a doctor, and so
I just saw the enormous role models that were doing
so many great things, and I think sometimes I doubted myself.
(01:06):
And so my mom from the time I was little
two three years old, she'd always see the doubt in
my eye and she'd always be that can do And
it just became my mantra, and it became my voice
in my head. And I mean it took me through
high school knocking down game winning free throws to shoot
even now, and so then it became an acronym for
community authenticity, navigating negativity, loving the dash, which is the
(01:30):
journey in between, and seizing and creating opportunity.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well congratulations. On August twenty fifty at Jersey will be retired,
well deserved. How does that.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Feel to go back home to Chicago. I grew up
in Naperville, and I grew up a Chicago Bulls fan.
I mean, they won six championships in the nineties when
I was living there, and so it became synonymous with winning.
So to go back and play basketball in front of
the people that first saw me pick up a ball,
and then to win a championship in front of the
(01:59):
people first saw me play basketball, I don't think. I mean,
that was super special. I couldn't have written it any better.
And you know, I think first you dream of a
championship being up in the rafters, and second you dream
of your jersey as well.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
You know, I think it was in the authenticity section
of the book you were talking about, you know, being competitive, right,
and how people don't let women be competitive the way
that the men are. So when you see and I
know you get this all the time, but when you
see the Caitlin Angel rivaly or whatever you want to
call it, isn't that just women being competitive?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I think it's women being competitive. But honestly, I think
that the more visibility you get, the more scrutiny you're
gonna get. I mean, that's just nature as women. I
think society always tries to put you in a box.
So as athletes, we fit outside that box. You know,
you're either too muscular, you're not competitive enough. But then
(02:51):
when you show competitive nature, it's not ladylike. So whatever
you do as a woman, I feel like until we
break that mole in society where it's like okay for
us to be fierce competitors, I think you're always going
to have a different narrative, and so yeah, I look
at it like it's competitive and it's two people going
(03:13):
at it, and sometimes I think it's overblown. Sometimes I
think that like you're making a basketball play and then
there's fifteen angles from different cameras that try to, you know,
make it something it's not. So I don't know. I'm
just excited where women's sports is in general right now,
right because people are talking about it, people know the names,
people are following the brands, and a lot of it
(03:35):
has to do with the visibility of it. Women's sports
has always been there. It's just a matter of people
tuning in and paying attention. And I think organizations, broadcasters
all that giving it a chance to succeed, not putting
it head to head up against NFL, not putting it
head to head up against finals or MLB or whatever.
And so I think now we're seeing more women's basketball,
(03:56):
and because of that, I think that's why it's grown.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
The reason I have think we I watch a lot
of women's basketball, and I've been watching Angel since college.
So since even that Caitlyn incident, I've seen her and
Leah Thomas have a little kerfuffle like she's always getting
into it with somebody, but it's not the same reaction
from people.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
It's just to me, it's.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Just like women out there playing ball.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
They're being competitive and I think ballplayers know that. But
now you're getting the casual fans that don't understand that
type of basketball. So I think it's a competitive nature. Now,
are there things that cross the line? Yes, are there
comments and you know, discussions behind things as cross the
line one hundred percent, and I think, you know, we
(04:35):
have to get that under control. But to me, I
think half the time is more competitive than anything.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But does rivalry as well. I remember, you know Reggie
Miller with the choke signed. We you know, we still
want action with him. Regardless, it's still things that's gonna
make the press push it a little more.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
By the way, I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry about what happened. Yeah,
it's okay, though maybe next year. Listen. I'm a Bulls fan,
so you know we're at saying if you're not first,
your last, So technically it's like we weren't even in
the playoffs, So it's okay.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And I want to ask, you know, you dominated the
w NBA broadcast a mom author which was the most
difficult journey, and.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Why motherhood is a journey that is the greatest gift,
gives you the most rewarding feeling, but it's also the
hardest job that you can have. You think you have
it figured out, and then you have another kid, or
you think you have it figured out, and there's another
stage of life. I have a sixteen year old daughter,
a three year old son, and a one year old son,
(05:38):
and they are all different, and they have all taught
me so many different lessons, and I'm just super grateful
for not only what I'm able to bring to the
table and what I teach them, but the lessons they've
taught me. Like, they have humbled me so many times,
they have checked me so many times. They have made
me look myself in the mirror and ask myself, am
(05:58):
I doing what I'm asking them to do? And so
I think motherhood is one of those things where I'm
just so grateful for it. I'm so grateful for my
daughter and what, you know, us being able to kind
of go through my career and grow up together and
fumble and bump and live across the water and all
of those things. And then I'm super grateful to be
able to now take a moment with my sons and
(06:20):
be able to have a different type of perspective in
motherhood and parenthood.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
What's a moment in motherhood that made you feel more
powerful than any championship ever did? Was it you finally
got her hair right?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You know, it's so interesting. She's sixteen now, she's just
got her permit. You know, she's getting ready for her
super sweet sixteen that's coming next week. And honestly, I
think it's just those moments where she comes and climbs
in my bed and we watch a TV show and
we're able to have those like just conversations about what's
on her mind and things like that. So that to
(06:54):
me is like, it's not the big things, it's not
the celebrations, it's not you know, all those things, just
like those little moments for me that make me super
grateful for you know, our relationship.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I love the way you broke that down in the
Fumble chapter though, because it's just like, I got four daughters,
so I've seen that struggle, but I've never seen nobody
like really talk about how stressful it is to want
to get your daughter's hair correct.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
When I tell you so growing up, it was like
my mom my hair was always laid like. It was
like she would tell me, no, we're not having everybody
talk about how you look crazy. You know. I had
the Bretts, I had the braids. I was the little
girl and her only girls. I was dressed, you know,
all those things. And you know, I think all of
(07:43):
the black girls out there can understand. Fried died late
to the side. I mean I had relaxer at six
years old. So when it came to like my daughter's hair,
I kind of took those same kind of foundation from
the mom mentality of trying to control. And my daughter
(08:04):
has taught me, like she loves her hair, she wants
to wear it in her natural style, she wants to
try different things, and I've had to kind of like
take a back seat and learn to not try to control.
There are some days where I, you know, I let
her do what she wants to do with it, and
it has become a process and it has become something
(08:24):
that you know, I have learned to kind of take
a back seat for. And I'm grateful for her for
teaching me.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
That what part of your personality do you think was
misunderstood the most during your planning career in this book
helped you to, like I guess, reclaim the narrative.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
What's so crazy to me is I think when you're
going through just trying to figure stuff out, you're just
trying to figure shit out, like that's what you're trying
to do, but you're going through life trying to like
mask it. And for so many parts of my life,
during some of my greatest triumphs, winning championships, winning MVP,
(09:00):
I was going through struggles behind the scenes, within motherhood
and balancing that within relationships, within you know, trying to
figure out how to be authentic and who I am.
And I think the person that I became in that
process and who I was for my teammates wasn't always great.
It wasn't always who I was, And so I think
through writing this book it has helped me better understand
(09:22):
who I want to be, who I commit to be,
but also like giving myself grace through those moments, because
I think sometimes we show up and we feel like
we have to be this at work, but we're still
not ourselves and the people around us know that, and
then they start treating us like those people that we
aren't and then it just snowballs out of control. So
I think who I am. People may have had a
(09:46):
different idea, you know what I mean. And I wasn't
always proud of the way that I treated my teammates
or how I showed up to work every day. But
sometimes when you're just trying to show up and you're
trying to make it, you know, that's the best that
you can do. I think I kind of like went
through that and processed that in writing this book.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
What was the most difficult thing you had to write
in a book? The one difficult thing it was like
thought about maybe I should take out or you cried
or it was that hard.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's really difficult to tell stories that are that need
to be told, that aren't going to paint certain people
in a positive light. And I think I struggle with
that because I like to take the blame. I like
to take the onus on myself in games and losses
and mishots and whatever. I like to say that I've
(10:32):
always had a part in whatever happens. And so writing
this is trying to figure out how do you tell
these stories and how do you tell it where it's
it's your story to tell, whereas you're not telling somebody
else's story, because I was very conscious of that. So
just kind of talking about like my parents' divorce and
talking about you know, leaving the Sparks, the La Sparks
(10:53):
and deciding to go to Chicago, talking about my wife,
and then also like near and dear to my heart,
like Coach Summit, my coach in college passed away in
twenty sixteen, and kind of navigating that and what to share,
what's intimate that I need to keep with myself to myself,
and what can I share and what I have her
blessing and sharing.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Has your greatness ever made you feel isolated? Like people
only saw Kansas pocket a player, but not can just
pok at a person?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
You know, it's so crazy. You know in basketball, there's
like a finite time, right the ball is gonna eventually
stop bouncing, you know, Father Tim, I mean, Lebron has
kind of proven that's not the case, but for most
of us, But it's like your identity becomes the game,
Like you keep the main thing, the main thing that's
been my gift my whole life. Basketball has been the
(11:43):
main thing. I gave up prom like left prom to
go to basketball, lived abroad to play basketball. But it's
like when you retire, your identity of the who and
the what is separated, and you realize, like the people
that really saw you for who you are versus what
you did. And so I think that was the biggest
(12:04):
struggle for me, is like everybody has that mourning that
death after you retire. I mean, I love basketball. It
was my first love. And so I think, yeah, like
separating my identity from that, and I was very conscious
of trying to show people like I am a history buff,
I love to travel, I'm a foodie, I love wine, tequila,
connoisseur like all of those things. I'm so much more
(12:26):
than just basketball. And so having that separation, I know,
is like huge for athletes. It is a struggle like
talking to people that have retired and have gone and
walked that path because it is it is the death
a little bit who well to grieve with my family, honestly,
(12:47):
my wife, I'll say my brother as well. My oldest
brother went through this and he seamlessly transitioned. I planned
the transition ahead of time, you know. I started commentating
gosh way back in twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen. I started transitioning.
I started doing more business and paying attention and wanting
(13:07):
to be at the table and in meetings and things
like that. So the transition occurred before it officially the
ball officially stopped bouncing. But boy, there were days where
I'd wake up and it's just like you miss that
feeling of walking in and eighteen thousand people are screaming
your name, and like the feeling of like your family's
identity is that, like they plan their summers around when
(13:29):
my games were, or trips or as a kid you've
been doing. It's an a in It's crazy because you realize,
although I don't like attention, that's not what I played
basketball for. It's an event. You go play, everybody watches
you play, the attention your parents give it is and
then afterwards everybody's like where are we going to eat?
(13:49):
You go eat. Then it's like you know, and it's
like you don't realize how much of that is a
part of your life. And so for me, I think
that was the hardest thing. But like I said, I
have my family. We had my son last year and
he just he just was like he had the ability
to make me stop and realize, like that's where I
(14:10):
was supposed to be. I've always been fifteen million different places,
and so I think, honestly, my son Heart made me
really appreciate retirement because I got to enjoy all the
little things.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
But jealous is not the right word. But do you
ever get jealous or feel a way when you look
at the way MWNBA players are treated now than when
you guys played. I just remember, like two three years ago,
I was on a plane flying from Atlanta and there
was some players from the Atlanta team. They were in
the back of the plane and they couldn't get first
class seats and they were riding and they were struggling, and
(14:42):
they even said, and Beau talk this, talk about this
on the radio. But now when you see and they're
starting to fly private and they start to make a
little more money, they start making endorsements, do you ever
feel a way like damn.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
You got to feel it.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
You got to feel it a little bit of that.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
You know.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
What's so crazy though, I'm like the biggest Steph Curry fan.
You remember when he signed deal. It was like a
forty million dollars deal years ago, and everybody, no, no, no,
it's for the NBA. It was right after his ankle injury,
and everybody kept asking him about it because it was
right during their run in twenty fifteen. He was like,
I never counted another man's pocket, Like that's just not
(15:15):
what I do. I feel like that's the purpose, Like
if we didn't leave it better, what are we doing?
Like I don't want them to have to go through
what we went through. But I also know that Cheryl Miller,
who never got to step foot in the WNBA, didn't
want me to not have have a league to play in.
Do you know what I mean? And so I think like, yes,
(15:36):
sometimes would it have made Would I scored more points
if we had a private flight waiting for what I
would have made more? Would I have made more like
school performances? If I could get back the night of
the game and been able to sleep and rest and
recover what I probably had a lot fewer injuries one
hundred percent. But I feel like I'm proud because I
know my name will be mentioned in the conversation of
(15:59):
these that made it possible today, like made the things
possible today. I remember flying commercial and Premium Plus in
a middle seat next to Sylvia Fowls, going to play
them in the game five of the WNBA Finals. We
we like wrestled over the arm rest. I won, but
like they won the game, but I won the arm
(16:21):
ress battle, and I remember thinking like, this isn't how
it's supposed to be. But now on the other side,
I want to I want ownership, like I want to
own a team, like I want to be a part
of that in making it better as well. So I
can't count another woman's pocket. I don't want to. I've
done well myself and the ability to take care of
(16:42):
my family and have all the opportunities I have today
because of the Cheryl Millers and the Nancy Lieberman's and
Shimiko host Claus and all those that came before.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Me and your six in year career. Did you feel
the difference? So I always ask my aunts this question,
right because my aunt like they're older like something. Those
they lived they were in school during segregation, so now
they know an integrated world.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Did you feel the difference? Oh, I felt the difference
one hundred percent. But I also felt the difference in
the ebbs and flows like there were some There was
one year where the WBA signed a deal with the
Holiday and Express and every time Jesus I would walk
into the holiday and express the fans would be like,
what are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
So I've been a part of the WBA at the
highest of highs and the lowest lows, and I talk
about it a lot in the book about the WNBA
and the business plan that needs to happen to continue
this growth and to foster this growth, because I just
that was what I had an issue with for so long,
like scare money doesn't make money. In order to have something,
(17:49):
you have to invest in it, and you have to
invest properly. And I think now we're getting billionaires that
see and have the mindset and the business savvy and
it's about competition, you see, like Vegas had a practicility,
Now New York wants a practicility, then Phoenix has a
Like competition is what started the NBA. You look at
that like Johnny Buss wanted a championship team because of
(18:12):
red our back, Like that's what That's what facilitates growth.
And so I think the WBA is finally catching up
to that.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Do you think the world has truly reckoned with how
different your career would be if you were a man
with the exact same time.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I talk about it a lot. Yeah, McDonald's all American.
In two thousand and four, Dwight Howard and myself, we
were the number one players. I was woman's, he was
men's and I Actually there's a blurb in the book
where him and I went to prom when I was
in high school, and our trajectories were so different after
that day, and I was angry. I remember being angry
(18:47):
because like, inside my house, my mom and dad, you
can do and be anything, and you know, at that
point you couldn't have nil money. So I'm watching, you know,
my quotes be on shirts sold, I'm watching everybody in
Knoxville wearing my Journey jersey and I'm wearing I'm eating
Papa John's before games because the school can't even pay
for my meal because it was illegal at the time.
And so in the in the book, I talk about
(19:09):
kind of like I was really upset because yes, he's six', ten, big,
strong but he had this league laid out that was already,
growing that had already been through the growing pains of
WHAT i was about to go. Through and THEN i
just was, like my left hand is better than.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
His and SO i was mad BECAUSE i was, like you,
know he has this league to go develop and use
his name and image and, likeness AND i have to
wait four years go abroad and compete in a league
that you know was geez twenty years.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Young. Wow.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Wow another part of the, BOOK I love You. Know
it was interesting to read about how you came to
grow to love your wife, Right and it had me
thinking what because you, did, like, guys so have you
thinking like what else about? Yourself did you realize it's
just isn't?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Me what's so interesting IS i Think i've spent my
entire life standing, out and somehow in that process SOMETIMES
i did things just to stand out and not really
listen to myself and WHO i wanted to. Be and
that's kind of opposite of What i've always tried to live.
(20:18):
By and for a long, time it took my daughter
really being like are you? Happy you, know for me
to really look myself in the mirror and, say AM
i just going through the? Motions and at twenty years,
OLD i don't think you realize how long twenty years
or thirty years or forty years, is, right and just
(20:41):
kind of gritting your teeth and you, know getting through
things is WHAT i had grown accustomed, to AND i
think it was allowing myself to be. OPEN i always
grew up envisioning myself with The Prince charming, always and
you never in a million, years WHEN I i do
those little trashy magazine, THINGS i would always talk About Prince.
(21:04):
Charming and it's crazy because sometimes life hands you things
and packages that you least anticipated coming. In and that's
what happened with my. WIFE i, mean she's my best
friend and she's been there through the ups and, downs
AND i think it was about like her AND i
both being, like wait a, Minute like are we allowing
other people's judgments to dictate the next thirty or forty?
(21:27):
Years Like i'm going to allow My instagram followers to
really determine WHO i say good morning to and WHO
i say good night to every single. Night AND i
had to take a step back BECAUSE i really don't
care what people. Think but THEN i really, did and
so it was kind of just like that evaluation and
look at myself in the, mirror.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
When did you? Realize what was that?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Moment WHEN i didn't fight, IT i would say we
were at a. Museum i'm a big. NERD i love
like all types of, museums and it was her, mind
like it was her, knowledge and like just her ability
to carry a. Conversation and my brother says something when
when her AND i got, married my brother said something
(22:07):
that really stuck out to, me and he, said you,
Know cannice needs somebody that's strong enough to put her
in her, place but soft enough where she feels vulnerable
and an ability to like kind of like lay lay
your head on your shoulder and be that vulnerable. Person
and WHEN i REALIZED i was doing that WHERE i you,
(22:28):
know she would say something AND i wouldn't have any.
Response and at first some of my friends were, like hold,
on who is? She like you know WHAT i, mean
because that's not normally what. Happens and then the same
thing WHERE i would confess things that were bothering me
or you, know have issues and be comfortable enough to.
SHARE i think that's that's WHAT i. Noticed did the.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
People in your life know how difficult it was for
you to KEEP i guess her a? Secret BECAUSE i,
mean like in the book YOU i MEAN i got
FRONT i got frustrated when you was talking about how
you wanted to tell your, brother but you didn't tell
Your i'm, like just tell them he loves, you you.
Know but did they know are they going to read
this book and realize for the first, Time, like, DAMN
i didn't know it was that.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Serious i've been on the other side of it Where
i've been the person that has been like everybody, knows
just say, it just tell. Him BUT i think everybody
comes to grips with it at a different. TIME i
know we live in a world that has pride month
and has all these, things but it is scary because
you are put in another. Category you, Know i'm already in,
(23:32):
two so Now i'm going to be put in a
third and with you, know someone that isn't, black She's
russian and, white and SO i, MEAN i think it's
one of those things where it's like what AM i
getting myself? Into AND i know my family is going
to love, Me BUT i have always done things to
(23:52):
separate myself and excel and be a role model and
be an. Example AND i think at that first, Moment i'm,
like are my nieces and nephew's going to be allowed
to come out and visit?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Me?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Like are is my family gonna accept? Her when we have,
children are they going to look at them as their
grandkids or so there's all these questions and things you
go back and forth with in your. Head AND i
know it seems, easy especially when you're not and you're
looking at the world and you're, like, oh, well it's
so open and, accepting but it's like you've never sat
(24:22):
there and seen the glances of like you, know people,
judging or you, know you never walked in the rooms
and you know heard voices give you, validation but you
hear whispers behind you, like, oh you, know she's just like,
them or she's you know. Whatever and SO i think
that's the biggest thing is my brother was amazing throughout
(24:42):
the entire. Process my family was, great but my wife
parents hadn't talked to her for almost a. Year, wow you,
know like we had family members that we have separated
ourselves from because in front with my family and with my,
kids this is the, standard like this is how we're
going to be true read, It and so there had
to be we couldn't go through this process ourselves and
(25:05):
help others go through. It so we had to do it,
ourselves be okay with, it be strong, enough and then you,
know go forward with, it can you can't rush.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It the, Sexuality paul was one aspect of, it but
you also talked about the race aspect of, it like
you really can with Doctor umar thought that.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Much, no but it is it's a different dynamic when
you walk, it you know WHAT i? Mean like first of,
all like you, know even with our, kids it's, like you,
know they have a black mom and a white, mom
and you, know it's like navigating the the race element
(25:43):
and the. Conversations we've grown up in two completely different,
countries so having those conversations like she's not coming from
a place of understanding through experience and so like even
so you, know we're confident and we're cool within our,
household but it's like you don't understand the other noise
that's going could mess that, up if that makes. Sense
(26:06):
have there ever.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Been a time where you dimmed your light to make
others feel, comfortable especially in rooms full of.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Men you, know it's so. FUNNY i was SITTING i
was sitting on the shop and it was With Draymond
green bron was, There mav was, there and they were,
like you, know people don't understand what it's like to
be a black man and be the only one in the.
Meeting AND i was looking, around like what y'all really
(26:34):
just said? That like read through you know WHAT i.
Mean SO i think sometimes you have to pick your
battles a little. Bit as a, teammate my job is
to make those around me. Better so same thing when
you're sitting at these, Tables like the point isn't to
make people feel stupid or feel. Small the point is
to make them understand the need for different voy at the.
(27:00):
Table AND i would say diversity of, thought you. Know
and you Know i've sat at so many tables and
been the Only i'm, comfortable But i'm tired of being
the only, Right like WHEN i went INTO t AND
t as the only female on that. Set you know
(27:23):
a lot of people, think, HEY i want. You you,
know you're trying to be one of the. Guys like,
No i'm trying to be one of the. Players that's,
It so treat me as. Such the WAY i see
the game is way different than shack, shack throw the
ball down, low barbecue chicken. Shack other people have to
do moves we can't just we just. Can't, Yes but
like the way he played was just so dominant that
(27:43):
he doesn't understand that people have to do stuff to.
Score he's, like just throw it down there and, score
and it's Like cat can't do. That he's not do
you know WHAT i. Mean i'm not, saying But cat
can't do, that D wade AND i. Can we can't do.
That we have to do moves and use the mental
aspect and element of. It BUT i feel like the
value that is brought to the table if you had
(28:04):
fifteen shacks what at you know as, analysts but he
brings value to the equation because he was so, dominant
and it gives you a bird's eye view of like.
Dominance and SO i just think anytime you have different
people at the, table you're gonna bring different perspectives like why?
Not and so it just drives me. CRAZY i watched First.
(28:26):
TAKE i Like STEVEN. A. Smith he's super knowledgeable about the.
Game but like the people that comment under my my
posts about How i'm a, WOMAN i never played in
THE nba AND i should shut the f up and blahah,
blah but they are Like STEPHEN. A smith has The
bible for THE, nba and it's like he hasn't, Either
but it's just because you know he's a, man and
(28:48):
SO i just am continuing to fight that. Stigma i'm
open for the. Challenge i'm up for. It grew up
with two older. Brothers all we did was make fun
of each, Other So I'm i'm. GAME i can speak that.
Language but it's just having the opportunity to like separate, myself,
like don't like me as an, analyst but don't not
like me Because i'm a. Woman that's my.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Thing was that a moment when YOU i, know she
got to? Go was there ever a moment that you
wanted to give the game up at?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
All there was a moment in the middle of my
career WHERE i asked, myself are you having? Fun BECAUSE
i always had fun playing. Basketball it wasn't about the,
money it wasn't about the, stage it wasn't about who
was in the. CHAIR i would have fun shooting after
practice by myself in the. Gym but in the middle
of my, career WHEN i was going through all those
(29:32):
injuries and hadn't won a championship yet AND i was super. Stressed,
YEAH i thought about, it AND i think it's one
of those things where it's like your first. Love it
never leaves your heart like you always find your way
back to. It and even Though i'm not hooping, Now
i'm brainwashing my sons to who my daughter's. Volleyball But
(29:53):
parker boys are. Coming i'm telling. You six,' ten six eleven. Point, forward,
yeah seven we Got a bronz body type and, a
whimby so we. Come in. Let it let it be known.
Right here you.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Said something that. The perspective thing is ill about what
you Said about shaq because it's, just, like yes he
was probably the most dominant player we've. Ever seen so
he only. Knows that he thinks it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Barbecue Chicken and, I'm, like shack it's not. Barbecue chicken
if it was, the case we would have people would
just do what. You, do like it just doesn't work.
That way AND so I just i. Don't know he
is brilliant in his, own right it's just people can't
play the game. That.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Way yeah two more. Cool questions is THERE a wnba
teammate you didn't appreciate in, the moment but now you
realize that person.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Was, vital yeah that's, a, really really really. GREAT question
i WOULD say i appreciated her in, the MOMENT but
i DON'T think i appreciated her enough in. THE moment
i would Say Definitely Delicia. MILTON jones i think she's
someone that was in the league for such a. Long
(31:00):
time she had such an, amazing, career longevity, won championships
with the, sparks played, different roles played, key roles came
off the bed like she did it all AND so
i think she genuinely wanted me. To succeed and, YOU
know i was a rookie when she, was there and,
you know we got in some. Brawls alongside she beat
(31:20):
me up in practice coming, off screens and it was
like all that was tough love because she.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Loved me oh my, Last question and, you know you
talk about a lot of things in, the book but
what's something you haven't forgiven yourself, for yet even if
nobody else knows. ABOUT it.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I WOULD say i struggled for a long time in
the closing seconds of, Games, MENTALLY wow i did because
the results didn't work out. FOR me i talk about
that a lot in, this book about HOW naive i
was my rookie year we lost by a last. Second
shot nine, YEARS later i was still losing by last,
second SHOTS and i felt myself in those moments tense
(31:55):
up WHEN prior i would relish in those MOMENTS like
i Would be i'd want, the BALL and i would
find myself shying away from those MOMENTS because i had
conceded to the fact that it was just not gonna.
Work out and it took, My brother it took me
finally realizing how to relinquish results and just live in,
(32:16):
the process the, dash right enjoying. The journey it Took
A kobe bryant text message to me, that, was like
it's better the. Hard way you don't die with bullets
in the chamber right like you go. Down shooting and
it was that text message and just the support from
(32:36):
my family and friends that allowed me to win. The
championship and it came down to the, closing moments and in,
THOSE moments i just played and it could have not.
Worked out it could have, worked OUT but i just
since that TIME when, I lose i'm not in bed
for four or, five Days like i'm gonna commit to.
The process i'm gonna commit to. The grind i'm gonna
honestly try to stay at that like even. Keeled mentality
(32:58):
and that's in life, as WELL and i wholeheartedly believe
things will work out the way that they.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Need to, all right can just talk ladies and gentlemen
and do mindset out, right now go.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Get it thank you.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
So much we. APPRECIATE you i.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Appreciate you, all right thank yous.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
And starts back up checking. On us come on, up here.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
We'd love to talk, to you say us.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And w ab this season up, right now so come talk.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
To Us It's.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Candas parker It's The. Breakfast club. Good morning wake that
ass up in.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
The Morning Come.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Breakfast club
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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