Today on The Breakfast Club, Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family. Listen For More!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Every day a week ago. Breakfast Club Morning Everybody, It's
the j n V.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Charlamagne and the Guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We
got some special guests and family members with us. The Smartest,
We got a little round. He's back here.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
We have a Reagan Gomez tapping the Brown and Anna
Marie Horse for the welcomest no.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Movie Unexpected Christmas.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Now, this this movie takes a lot of turns.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It takes a.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Lot of turns.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We'll break down the movie because it comes out this
Friday for people that want to go check this movie out.
What are they expected in this Unexpected Christmas movie?
Speaker 5 (00:39):
With about giving it a waiter, But this one tells
a lot because it's such a conversation piece and like
I have been playing Richard Is, I kind of got
his back most of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
So I'm trying not to say stuff without telling people.
But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny. Uh.
It's a lot of drama in it, but the drama
end up making sense and you see people come to
it's healthy drama. It has love in it, it has
faith in it. It's just and it has food in it.
But it is This is a different twist than you've
seen in other Christmas movies. And that's why I really
(01:16):
love That's why I wanted to do it in the
first place.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's a little New York, little la.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Function.
Speaker 6 (01:26):
Yes, yes, Why does black family movies gotta have so
much drama?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because black families get so much.
Speaker 7 (01:35):
As long as there's resolution, that's the part. Then that
means we're making something good for the black family, that's
the part.
Speaker 8 (01:41):
And you know, people come home for the holidays and
you might not have seen your family all year and
you've been mad at them about something, but now you
see them at the table, it's like, we're gonna talk
about this right now.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
That's life, and that's.
Speaker 9 (01:51):
About to come up because we've got a few more weeks.
We got Thanksgiving, some conversations. I have my family, you know,
so this movie is gonna help me.
Speaker 7 (02:02):
It's a healthy, healthy drama.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Don't bring a lot of company with you if you
want to tell the truth, because.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You got a new whole family on the other side.
Speaker 9 (02:13):
Yeah, because my husband is half Mexicans, so they all come.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Holidays and you.
Speaker 10 (02:20):
Don't know what they are about.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I got one kind of work.
Speaker 8 (02:32):
That's why you gotta learn.
Speaker 10 (02:34):
You gotta learn now you can put. You have to
tell me, you know what they're.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
Saying there you go, and what.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Spanish in your And I will tell you they're gonna
look at the baby to make sure it's his, you know,
check the toes and the ears and stuff like that.
Speaker 10 (02:55):
Love man, not a.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Little bit like a lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot
of us don't speak Spanish. So yeah, but I am
my mom's Puerto Rican for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah, that's right, that's right. And my mother said, and
I said, how come you teach your Spanish? She said,
in case I wanted to say something bad about your father, didn't.
I didn't even know that about you.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
I want to ask you, you've been part of so
many multiple generations.
Speaker 10 (03:28):
Yes, can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yes? I can't.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
How do you stay connected to like every generation of
storytellers and audiences?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I think being your authentic self that they know it's
something true, you know, I mean I don't have to rets,
but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet.
But you know, there were always children who would say
(03:58):
something and you would look.
Speaker 10 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It was one time my mother took me to this
friend's house. And I said, excuse me, do you know
you walk like a woman? And my mother said her
hand was so close to my face and he said no, no,
but do I He said, show me. I said, you
want me to show you how you walk?
Speaker 11 (04:13):
And he was a little special Jesus, just say that
so somebody identifies with being a little off, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
And my mother would say, she fell on her head
before she was born, so you have to excuse anything
that comes out her mouth. And I said, oh, I
didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might
say something that's inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (04:43):
And I think that's what it connects.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
With every generation, you know, I mean, because we don't
know when we do these things what the audience is
going to like. We really don't know which movie. You know,
I had no idea Friday was going to be as
big as it was.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
You don't know.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Have they called you for the new one?
Speaker 10 (05:05):
Listen that new one going for twenty four years? They
film me? Yeah, twenty four years? Okay, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Want to ask.
Speaker 6 (05:15):
I know we're here to talk about Christmas, but whatever
y'all learned from Miss Hors, let's start with you.
Speaker 10 (05:21):
Yeah, No, I need to know. I know this was
going on.
Speaker 7 (05:24):
It was amazing, don't said. The one thing I learned
is I can't wait to get older and say whatever
because people just laugh and they'd be like, she's, oh,
she's so cute. She don't never lie, you know, she
don't lie. She she ain't got to risk. But okay,
that's what she said. But also, like what she just said,
(05:47):
being your authentic self promotes longevity, right. I met her.
We met like twenty maybe like twenty four years ago,
and I was living in North Carolina and went to
a theater festival in Atlanta with a mentor and he
introduced me to her, and she was so kind to me,
(06:07):
and she told me, then you just got to keep,
you know, being consistent, keep pursuing it, and one day
it'll happen. And so when I saw her on set,
I reminded her that I had met her. I was
completely different then. You know, I had some little locks
in my hair. I was like straight out of you know,
coming from Greensboro hosting, and it was just like it
was surreal for me to like be on the set
(06:29):
with someone who I consider like a living legend. She said,
And I come for so many of us. But yeah,
I say longevity. It's one of the things that I've
been blessed to witness with you, you know something.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
So we did Vacation Friends together. She played my Mom,
and you know my mother one of her favorite shows
was a man right, and so like working with her
was like, like I didn't realize how funny she was,
and she you don't notice when we shoot Vacation Friends,
you literally did something like my Mom. It was. It
wasn't in the script. I think I was like my
(07:03):
characters acting like he was kind of embarrassed. He's like,
so if you embarrassed by men, I just go home.
Then you know it was but it was almost surreal
to wow. But like she some people just got it,
you know what I'm saying. And so like just being
on set with you and just like watching you do
this thing where you don't even have to say words,
(07:24):
you can just make a face. And to me, that's
a skill set too. Like I think, like somebody like
you and David Allen Greer who I look at, that
people just make their reactions is more than a word.
And so that's one of the things I learned from
just work with you because Also, You're just amazing and
you're so honest. You make I don't know what she's
gonna say half the time. That's what I love.
Speaker 10 (07:46):
Well.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
I met miss Anna when I was fourteen years old
the Parenthood and the Wayne's Brothers started off the WB
network back in the day. So I've known her for
the majority of my career, thirty years of my career.
And what t happ of the set is so true,
Like miss Anna reminds me of that time when I
was around Robert Townsend and all of these folks who
(08:06):
have been grinding since since the sixties and the seventies,
and the lessons that they give us, like she is
a treasure, a national treasure, and I've never worked with her.
So this has just been amazing you, me and my mama.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
Check out of father, because she told me, she was like, Hey,
your daddy.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
What's the biggest lesson you you try to instill and
just people about longevity and grace.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I think you can't be distracted by racism, other people's
definition of you, your truth if you just know that
you are here for purpose and nobody can take that
from you. You know what I'm saying when people say
you didn't get your flowers, I got my flower, you know,
(09:00):
because I've been working much longer. I ask God for one.
I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress.
Give me one job, because you know, nobody believed it
except your mother at first.
Speaker 10 (09:13):
And then you get the one job and you say, oh,
well that wasn't bad, and then you get another.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And I still every time I get a job, it's
like the first one. Really yeah, because somebody believes in you,
I mean somebody, it's not hard, you know, and you
look at other people. I was telling Jess, I was
following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful
and this, and I really feel it because you know, say,
(09:41):
look at that and something you didn't think of, but
you know it's the truth. And I think if you
just understand that we're in a world that there's enough
for everybody. Everybody can have five hundred Fani, Well now
you've got more than five hundred. You can have you know,
millions or whatever. Or just know that even if you
(10:02):
don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching
you in your neighborhood, your parents, your godparents, somebody's watching you,
and just make sure you feel good at the end
of the night. You know what I mean when people
about I forget that. You know, we got a story
to tell. There ain't no mistakes.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How do you decide what parts you pick? Because when
you pick your roles, they are not the same. Amen.
It's not like Friday, which is not like I was a.
Speaker 10 (10:29):
Virtuous woman and somebody tried to sell.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
A nasty story and I said, what the editor called
my press agency.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
Somebody is trying to say a.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Terrible story about her. I said, that is not true.
So it's you better pick the rolls that people you know,
because people really believe black people now I don't know
about white people.
Speaker 10 (10:51):
Black people believe.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
This is no between reality and TV. How's your husband
and I do stay in touch with Cliff? I said,
he's fine. I got a new husband now in this movie.
Rico's my new husband. A few other husbands in between.
I can't remember all of them, but they're all good
to me. They're all good to me. But it's just
(11:18):
that you have a brand, even if you don't know
you have a brand. And my brand is kind of
decent human being who's honest you know what I mean,
Just to be honest with Even if the line is
I have gone up for things, I said, this is
not me, not me. No, No, my people won't believe it,
(11:39):
and I don't believe it. Even then I said, no,
there's one, and I just said I can't.
Speaker 10 (11:45):
I said the words can't even come out of my mouth.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, it was low, low low.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Somebody else got it, a friend of mine, and I
was happy for her.
Speaker 10 (11:54):
But no, everything's not for you.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I always believe that what we get, the roles we get,
it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there.
Speaker 10 (12:03):
It's not just the role.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
God gives everybody a talent, and the talent is so
that you can use to get to affect the people
you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm
supposed to go to Georgia, the other people I'm supposed
to meet a long way in Georgia, it's not just
the movie, you know, it's somebody else whose life I'm
supposed to be affecting.
Speaker 6 (12:26):
Wow, on this film, who did you meet?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Like?
Speaker 10 (12:29):
Who I met all these colored people?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Let me just say she had a revelation because girlfriend
didn't know all of this mess was going on.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
She did not know.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
And then I can't say because I haven't seen the
completed movie yet, but there was one scene that I
felt really strong, and the producers allowed me to do
some improvisation on it. When the child comes back, you know,
because children like to grow up and then kind of
read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong.
(13:04):
You're all shaking your head forget that, no parent, want
no report card.
Speaker 10 (13:08):
We did the best week, could change the nasty diapers.
Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Some things you get right, something's right. You know, you
be perfect, but parent is not perfect. And when that
scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a
little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I
hope it addresses that issue where no, no, no, you're.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Gonna tell me. But let me just tell you a
little something.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Too, because I don't think we look we only look
from one perspective, which you didn't do for me. Well,
let me tell you what you didn't do for me,
you know, because nobody gives you the handbook on parenting.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And it's still in there too. It's like all of
us has been doing like this press run. That's one
of the most important parts of the movie. Oh yeah,
you know, I don't know who said it, but like
she's a woman too, She's like, yeah, you're human, so
like it's still when you see it, you'll see.
Speaker 10 (14:11):
I think you know.
Speaker 8 (14:13):
I was going to say one of the things that
miss Anna was was talking about, and I don't want
to give too much away, but we're so used to
our mothers and elders telling us do what I say,
Just do it, don't ever talk back to me. But
when you become an adult, you do have questions about
things that happen to you. And one of the things
that I love is to sing with you and Dominique Perry,
(14:34):
who's not here, she loves the show. She plays my sister,
but she confronts her mother and her without giving too
much away, her mother listens and apologizes, and that is
something that I really hope folks take away from this.
You can always apologize and do better. So that's one
of the things I love about this film.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
I apologize with my kids all the time, and I
agree with everything y'all saying, because I think that we
often forget our parents had a life before ye they were.
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Just a girl and a guy.
Speaker 10 (15:02):
Yeah, that's very interesting.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I at one point told my parents, I said, I
want to know who you were before you became my
mother and father. So what I did is I went
back to both of their hometown and just to see
who they were, because I said, oh, and then I
interviewed them because I didn't know, and my mother surprised
(15:24):
me a lot.
Speaker 10 (15:26):
I said, how many men you had? Mama? Camera man said.
Speaker 6 (15:31):
That's your mother.
Speaker 10 (15:32):
I said, I know, but I wanted and she said three.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
But you know, after they all come out the same,
they want the same.
Speaker 10 (15:41):
And I said, okay.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I said, well, what would you say if your daughter
had a lot more than that? She said, if it
took a hundred men to make my daughter happy, I'm
happy for her.
Speaker 10 (15:51):
And I said, who is this woman?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Who is I mean, isn't that.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
You know, they start and then at a certain point,
if you if you're lucky enough to have your parents
live long enough, because a lot of us lose them,
you become the parent to this child and you see, oh, oh,
the kindness, the kindness, you know, it's just.
Speaker 10 (16:25):
It's so interesting. That, and I think I'm blessed.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
We all are blessed to be able to have a
fantasy of I want to.
Speaker 10 (16:33):
Be an actor. I want people for them, I want
to stand on.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
State and then you get to have it done and
people know you. I mean, every other black person in America,
especially up town, knows me.
Speaker 10 (16:46):
That's how you know it's me. You know it's me.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
And you meet them how they meet you in the house,
you know, because I have been in your living room
all over, on the radio, in your car, you know,
for a long time. So I can't laugh or talk
too loud because they know. I know.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
This movie is going to empower a lot of people
over the holidays to have those conversations.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
You know.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
One of the one of my first breakthroughs in therapy
was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for
things he never taught me. And so when we had
a conversation and he started telling me about his own
issues and he tried to commit suicide and he was
on you know, different medication for his Once I realized
all that, it gave me a level of grace for
him that.
Speaker 10 (17:38):
I ever know.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Yeah, you're lucky if we got a chance to look
at them like that, that's wow.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We also have a conversation with her. That's one of
my struggles now is that you know my dad has dementia,
and it's like, oh, you know, going through therapy and
like recognizing some moments where like dang, he wasn't. I
had to get to a point where I understood not
even just my dad, just people loved me. They wasn't
necessary hating that they didn't believe in me. They was
scared for me, and I was taking a chance doing
(18:07):
something nobody did, so it was more or less a
protection thing. It wasn't that they didn't believe you. They
just didn't want you to be hurt.
Speaker 10 (18:14):
You know what I'm saying. And so like a trade school, Broy.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
That's familiar to them. You see people who work trades
all the time. Same with Like with me, I wanted
to be an actress since I was a little girl,
but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my
mama was like, Okay, I know you want to do that,
but you also make clothes. So my great great aunt
was the town seems toss. So she said, once you
go to school for fashion design, because if the actioning
(18:41):
thing don't work out, then you have that. It wasn't
that she was discouraging. She was just telling me, like,
I know, we know what that looks like.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
You can actually do that.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
So you know, let me ask you, how would you
be with your kids? Right, because the same thing with me? Right,
My mom said, get a job with a hat.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
That was a thing.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Get a job of that hat.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
You work for twenty years, you get retired men in
your coboard. Right when I was a DJ, they thought
the DJ thing was cute. Until after I graduated from
college and I still did it. I was like, I
got enough enough.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
But now I look at it and I'm like, I
would never be that right.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
But then I look at if my son ten years
ago saidad I want to be a gamer, I'd be like, boy,
if you don't get the cons.
Speaker 8 (19:19):
Forty million can get scholarships to college now doing gaming
all across oh, yes, the world.
Speaker 10 (19:25):
And I think you have to.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I mean it's really interesting children, you know, when they're
looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder
when God talks to you, he tells you, you know,
because there's a little girl like tapas, I said, Mommy,
I got to go to Hollywood, and I would practice
walking down the steps. Of course I would fall a
lot because I had on heels. And she said, your
(19:50):
ass gonna be broken by the time because the Hollywood.
And one time I was going somewhere my back was
I said.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She was right.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Years after.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
But God tells you what you were here for, what
you were here for. And I remember one time I said, oh.
My mother said, oh, you look just like a lamp
post girl.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
And I said, oh, I'm a real actress. I was
about four or five.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I don't know what a lamp post girl was. It
was a prostitute in Santa Domingo.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
But I thought, wow, I.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Put my hat on and I had something else and
she said, oh, and I'm just like a lamp post girl.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
And I said, she didn't know what was me. I'm
a lamp post girl.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
No, mother, I never did.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I never became on, but I acted like one. But again,
God talks to you. He tells you what you came
here for. There's no mistakes, even though you don't have
any reference. This one wasn't that, This one wasn't that.
Listen to that voice, Make that voice louder than any
outside voice coming to you because they don't.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Know you know, what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I said with my family, I had to like, I
remember when it was they were being combative to it.
But I'm like, well, y'all raised me and told me
I could do anything, So you raised me too good,
So I can't listen to what you said, you know
what I mean. Like, it's really interesting, but once again,
it came out of fear.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
One of the things I love about my family is
that they end up apologizing. When I first moved to
New York and I got my first show, they literally
threw a dinner together and apologize. And so now to
this point, they are crazy supportive. Like you see them
with little real shirts.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
You're teaching that, you're teaching them also, And I think
for our children, we always look at them as ours, ours,
little usses. But they grow up and they grow into
their own people, and then one day you need their help,
you need their advice, and you realize, oh, they're part.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Of my community.
Speaker 8 (21:50):
And it does flip as your parents get older. My
mother is in her seventies and it's very much like, girl,
why you didn't do what I told you?
Speaker 7 (21:58):
You know, talking back all of that. So life is
very interesting.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
And also you're a multi millionaire.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
Now they're gonna wear T shirts.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
That's a little round now, yeah, I mean that's but
it wasn't at first.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
For loans either.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You don't ask you for money, but it's tough. I'm
good at saying no. But like I got like that
beautiful old black man and me, you couldn't know what
I have. That don't mean I'm gonna give it to you, okay,
but you have strengthen that. Like I'm good at that,
Like I don't mind you see it. Yeah, I'm gona
(22:33):
give it to you. Grandfather afford to being a grandfather.
I mean, I don't want nobody to get pregnant, but
I do. I tell people all the time, like, yeah,
I am in my old black man crossed my leg era.
You said no, bro, Like no, yeah, I don't know
what yesterday. Maybe I don't mind saying no, Like I'm
(22:54):
good because just think about this, if anybody want to
ask you for money anything, be that person that I
irritating people. They forget that they asked me. Right, I'm
gonna have to tell you about yourself. You coming at me,
but you know something, never I don't need it, well,
why did you call me? I respect the people that
(23:15):
could take it, the one that.
Speaker 7 (23:20):
Oh, yeah season, yes, you need a season.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's always that season when.
Speaker 10 (23:25):
You need a season.
Speaker 9 (23:26):
Around Reagan, I want to go back to what you
were saying earlier about how we were raised, you know
what I mean, and how we were because I was.
Speaker 7 (23:36):
Raising two parent home.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
But it's like, you don't ask me why you don't,
you know, I say, and that's just what it is, right,
And now I have a thirteen year old, right, and
we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why, but
I let him ask me why because.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
He wants to know.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Yeah, bro, when he was bruh, you know what I mean.
And then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna put you
on your neck. But I let him, you know, as
he as I'm raising him, ask questions like, you know,
(24:13):
because and then I even talked to my mom like
I remember, we couldn't even ask you why, you know,
And what she says is like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Because that's how I was taught. The grandmother taught me that,
you know, And it was not abusive. It wasn't that
she was trying to be mean, but they were trying
to instill that. Uh, I guess that that respect right.
And some people are mistaken as fear.
Speaker 6 (24:34):
You know.
Speaker 7 (24:34):
No, she didn't want me to fear her, but I
feared them consequences, you know. And so my son now
I'm trying to find a balance exactly.
Speaker 10 (24:46):
You don't want him to.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Be too curious, but you need to be curious in life.
You know, You're you're preparing him to be a young
man out in the world. You don't want him to
just do what people tell him to do. You want
him to ask questions, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
So you're doing yeah, but see, you know, you gotta
be careful with that rope though, man, especially with teenagers,
because they like, hey, fan, look now I get it
you're hurt, but you don't just walk off while I'm
talking to you, you know what I mean. But that's
a part of because they do have a sense of freedom,
(25:19):
like especially like a lot of us, who who created
these better lives for our children? I me and my
daughter said something that was so real one time, and
I had to own that too. I'm like, cause you know,
you know, we got whatever our house is, and they
we're bored. I'm like, you got a pool? It is
a theater. What do you mean you bored?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Just so much to do here?
Speaker 10 (25:37):
You bored?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But She's like with dad, I was born into this
type of life. But then I had to look at
him like, yeah, it is a perspective of I'm from
the West Side of Chicago that had to play with
the fire hydrate outside and the room pool we had.
We don't know if it was clean because people was
in there with their regular outfits, like you know what
I mean, So like yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah,
I guess this is great to me because this is
(25:59):
what I wish I had, right, you know what I mean?
I was scared to go outside because it was crazy
that's going on. But but but that was one of
those things where you do give him the freedom, but
it also is it balanced because it's like, you know,
it's still I'm still your dad, it's still your mom.
Speaker 10 (26:14):
And you can't I hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You can't be talking crazy. You got an opinion? Cool,
it's the way you say it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
That's when your parents got to come out right when
they talk crazy, turn around, what would your right.
Speaker 10 (26:28):
Actually hit him?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But we've been checked before. I remember, like my dad,
you know, he had a new job and his check
was short one time, and you know, we was being kids, like,
oh man, because he was supposed to take us a
piece of hood. You know, it's a big bill of us.
And we was we was fussing. My mama pulled us
to the side and was like, look, that's your dad,
but that's my husband. You ever disrespect his check was short? Yeah,
(26:53):
it is what it is. Wherever he take us, it's
what we're gonna do. You going there and you give
him a hug right now. And I never forget that
moment because I was like, like, when she said, that's
my husband, think about that.
Speaker 10 (27:07):
Right you be talking, don't talking about wife like that?
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Oh yeah, that's that happens a lot, especially with teenage
girls the whole way with the mom's things.
Speaker 8 (27:18):
That was one of the points that miss Anna, I
heard you say on the Red Carpet that a lot
of your mother roles you had sons and this is
the first time you had daughters, and the difference in
the conflict.
Speaker 7 (27:29):
You don't have a conflict to watch to.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You, Yes, daughters, everything, okay, what my bag?
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Look and you're supposed to be grounding her.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
The oldest is twenty four, youngest is four. I'm shoveling snow.
My daughters will be like, come on, dad, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I was like video window, Yeah, this is.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
My daddy.
Speaker 10 (28:05):
Could do no wrong.
Speaker 7 (28:06):
I remember like being mad at my mama because the
way she might have talked to my daddy if they
were having a disagreement. Like when my parents divorced, I
thought like I could live with my mama. I got
so sick that I had to go live with my daddy.
I was like, I love you, Mama, but I'm gonna
need to go stay with my daddy.
Speaker 10 (28:25):
Come and see you.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
But I got to go stay with my daddy, and
mama to you after day.
Speaker 7 (28:30):
We was in the small town, so she won't with
ten minutes away. I was raised and seeing my daddy
every single day, and I'm in ninth grade. When they
you know, divorced and separated, it felt like my world collapsed.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
And I mean, I love my mama.
Speaker 7 (28:44):
She was my best friend too, But me and my
daddy we like to this day. I talked to him
every day when I see Like when I don't see
him for a while, I started feeling like something right.
So whoever came up with mama's boy or you know,
daddy's girl came from a real place daddy.
Speaker 6 (29:02):
First of all, that's a beautiful I pray my daughter's
have that connection with me. How do what do daddys
have to do to ensure that?
Speaker 7 (29:07):
I think, create an environment that makes them feel safe,
makes them feel heard and seen, uh, you know, teach
them things that the world will try to teach them later. Like,
my daddy is a big talker, Honey, he would talk.
I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, Daddy,
you'd be talking a lot now you for real. But
(29:29):
now I'd be like telling my kids something. I'd be like,
oh my god, my daddy told me that. Like it
stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know,
because you're young, you think a little stupid stuff.
Speaker 10 (29:39):
Sometimes.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy
didn't have no sons. He just had two girls. So
you taught me a lot of things that you would
teach you know, quote unquote boys.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
He taught me how to you know, change the old
you know, chang's tires, look at all your stuff, your
time and miilia, all the things that I think that
he would have taught a son. But I use a listen.
My husband did not have a father. I taught my
husband how to Yeah, so he taught me how to
(30:11):
be loved by man, right, So you know. It also
caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
We laugh about it now.
Speaker 7 (30:18):
I used to be like, I ain't never see my mama,
pump gas what you're talking about.
Speaker 10 (30:22):
I don't like my mama.
Speaker 7 (30:25):
I was like, well, it ain't never let you just
like he just he takes care of you in a
way that makes you feel like he is the best
man in the world.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And there's an unspoken I don't know when it comes
for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man,
there's a safety valve that you could always.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Run to Daddy's. You don't even have to talk. You
don't even have to talk. You just hold that leg
or that foot.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
And my big deal is I never wanted to I
didn't want to disappoint thought of disappointed by Larva. They
gave me a hard time on Amen after the second
year or something, and they didn't want to come through
with the money that they had promised.
Speaker 10 (31:10):
And I said, you know, it's okay, you all got it.
I don't have to do it ever again, because I.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Had far exceeded any expectations anybody had for me. So
I can go back uptown live in one of his houses,
one of the rooms. He might complain about some rent.
Speaker 10 (31:26):
But I just felt I got a daddy who will
take care of me. He's the rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And there's something and I don't know if they tell
you something or you just feel it, there's a feeling.
And all of a sudden, this last week, I've been
thinking about when he used to see me, used to smile.
Speaker 10 (31:43):
I used to make him smile all the time. And
I said, what was that about?
Speaker 11 (31:48):
You know?
Speaker 10 (31:49):
Anna?
Speaker 4 (31:49):
You know? And I got a chance to bring him
out to Hollywood when I was still on the show,
and he was so grateful.
Speaker 10 (31:55):
Then he said, tell your father. I said, I said, Daddy,
stop Sherman Hemsley, it's not my.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Got involved in this thing.
Speaker 10 (32:05):
And I said, it's something that you feel. That's why
you tell women.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I just feel so bad for any man who walks
away and see that. Parenthood is a two party check.
It's a check that has to be signed by mommy
and Daddy, whether you know them or not, Whether he
pays child.
Speaker 10 (32:24):
Support or not.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
The child needs those two signatures. They need to know, wow,
my nose looks like yours, my eyes look like yours.
You say that, or Daddy gets a joke about you.
Speaker 10 (32:37):
Two don't have to be together.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
But that child needs to know he comes from two
forces that came together to create this.
Speaker 10 (32:46):
And like you said, and sometimes it's not talk. It's
sometimes just a feeling.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And when they look at you and you say, oh,
because that that's something that's not talked about enough. Right,
Because sometimes you do have some young women if they
dad wasn't around. Yeah, I've seen him, like make up
a version of it, right, Yeah, well it's a mill
my grandfather. But it's not the same No, it's not. Yeah,
it's literally not the same thing the connection you had
(33:11):
with your dad.
Speaker 11 (33:12):
Right.
Speaker 8 (33:13):
And you know what for me, my oldest is eighteen.
She's a freshman in college high honey. But even taking
her to college and dropping her off and my husband
was a wreck when we got on the plane and
came on without her.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
And I'm like, you know, I'm independent.
Speaker 8 (33:28):
I've been working since.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
I was fourteen. I'm like, she's good, she's good.
Speaker 8 (33:31):
He's like, but if something happens, I can't just get
to her. Yeah, and I'm like, wow, wow, that's a
real and as his wife, as his wife, because he
did his father was not around either, But seeing the
man that he is and the father that he is,
it just made me fall more in love with him.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
That's really what you're saying. My daughter doing college Basu's
not and I feel the same way. It's like she
got to be somewhere where the village can get to
her quick before I can.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
My daughter went to n YU, so it was right there.
But now but now on the other side, my son
go to University of Miami.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
It was like is like it was.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
White women galore yeh.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeh from my daughter play football miss.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
But how did your wife handle because said that part.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
They speak all the time, they FaceTime all the time.
But for me, I remember the first time I called
my daughter, she didn't answer right.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I jet to the city. She was sleeping. I jet
to the city and I would on her so bad.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
I need.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I need to get in here.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
But my wife looked at me like.
Speaker 7 (34:46):
She's living her life. She's living her she has she
has classes.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Sophomore year two. This was COVID.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
And the bad thing about New York is I went
to Hampton, right, so he has a but she's going
to She's hanging out with yeah everybody, just like.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
You did, Just like you did. You know, now it's
her turn.
Speaker 10 (35:17):
It's her, just like we did.
Speaker 7 (35:24):
I think the part about that and what I had
to learn is that my daughter, my children are not me, right,
They're not going to do the exact same thing that
I did. I'm not going to think the way that
I thought. I think that's where I made a lot
of mistakes in my parenting, like you know, learning with
my daughter because I was like, now, I know what
I was thinking when I was that age, and so
(35:45):
I was projecting my fears of my own past upon
her and that wasn't fair for her, right. And now
that she's twenty four, we've talked about it, and it's
some stuff that I can't read parents guilt for And
she'd be like, Mama, I don't even remember what you're
talking about. And I'm like, oh, well, thank you anyway
for letting Mama get it out. But our children, we
(36:07):
give birth to them, God trust us to bring them here,
but they are not us.
Speaker 6 (36:11):
Yeah, I told my daughter a couple of days ago,
because you know she's been driving. She got a car.
Now you know, she goes out, she comes home, responsor me,
she got a job and stuff like that. And I said,
you know what, I love that I can trust you.
It's just a feeling that you can trusty child. I
don't know, it's just everything.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Can I say one thing to you about step parents
and stuff like that, and you have to, even if
you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother,
understand that that child is walking around with the DNA
from that other person and they need.
Speaker 10 (36:49):
To replenish that energy that's in them.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Because again, even if I'm mad at you, don't get
one guy I was working with on Amen and it's
far the was my father's doctor. And I was so
excited to say, oh, your father's and so when you're
telling me so, I don't talk to him.
Speaker 10 (37:08):
And I said why And he said, I don't want
it to make my mother mad.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
And I said, no, your mother knows him. But the
conflict because the father might have done the mother wrong,
you know.
Speaker 10 (37:22):
She did, but the idea is no, she picked him.
She picked him, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by
talking to your father, you know.
Speaker 10 (37:35):
So we have to be really open.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
And saying even though I don't like, I want you
to continue to like if you can just be gentle
just if he wants to send a card or encourage
him sometimes just call your father say hello, don't use
the kids, don't Yeah, and you don't know, we're we're
we're doing it.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Well. This is just with your book too, And it's
funn because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean,
co parenting is so it's it's a humbling experience where
you have to take your personal feelings out of it
for the it has to go. And then if you
know you're able to you know, one of the things
I love, you know, with my ex wife was that
(38:14):
we was able to have a real conversation at some
point when we put all the ego stuff once we
once we did that and it was like, all right,
we can talk about what we did wrong if you
want to just get out, let's just get that out there,
because we ain't gonna get back together. Let's just talk
about Its no point of being like we were cool
at one point, you know, what I'm saying. So, like
when you do that and then you just focus on
(38:35):
those children, it's weird because sometimes it's hard for like
even when you have a newer person, they could get
a little irritated with your co parenting relationship. Fam, I'm
keeping the peace.
Speaker 10 (38:46):
Yes, I hear it.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yes, listen, but yeah, this is cool.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yes, yes, because it wasn't cool at one.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the
movie and everything we're talking about. Now, do you personally
believe that family should always be forgiven? I know we're
talking about stepparents, but.
Speaker 10 (39:07):
Just its.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
That's a good question.
Speaker 7 (39:24):
Yeah, I believe everyone can be forgiven. Right, forgiveness is
not for the other person, it's for you. And so forgiveness,
even in family doesn't mean we have to be together forget.
It doesn't mean that you have to be back in
(39:44):
my life. It just means I have forgiven you and
I'm going about my business.
Speaker 9 (39:48):
Yeah, you got some some deep pain though, like from
some family members that just can't reverse.
Speaker 8 (39:54):
Like especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness, if
they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard
for even if you want to forgive.
Speaker 7 (40:02):
Yeah, But that's the thing about forgiveness. When it's for you,
you don't have to say it to that person. It's
so that you can move forward in your life without hinderance, right,
because sometimes you can hold something against someone and it
holds you back, right, you can't move forward. So it's
not for them, right, especially because we've all been hurt
(40:25):
and there's some things that people do that feels like
that is it can't be forgiven, Like it just can't.
But to them, they may go to you know, they
rest in place feeling like you never forgave them, and
that's their business to feel. For you to live your
life in peace, forgiveness has to live in your heart.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, you gotta trust. I mean if it depends if
you're a person of faith, but you just got to
trust God.
Speaker 10 (40:47):
Let God do it God.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I think we really don't understand how much we have
to mind our own business when it comes to faith.
I don't need to see God's vengeance on you. Whatever
God does with you, that's just what. Because I may
forgive you and not even be as angry as I
want God to be because all of our father So
it's like I'm doing this because I want I went
to see a play called Old Happy Day. That's that's
out here. Oh man, it's so good and it's a
(41:12):
great song they have really with that subject. It's you know,
it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exactly. I
heard the yesterday, but it's like, can you forgive the
personal situation that hurts you the most? And it was
God asking that question to Jordan's Cooper's character, because that's
how you move on. You gotta move You can't sit
in that, you know what I mean, because it really
(41:32):
affects you and you can't get it. Ain't about me
saying what. I don't need nothing from you. I don't
need you to say. It is what it is. I
forgive you and we ain't got to talk again.
Speaker 9 (41:42):
I wonder what that looks like though, I wonder what
it looks like forgiving somebody training God talk to you
know what I mean, like, like, what.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Does that look like?
Speaker 7 (41:53):
And it looks like freedom, freed, it's a feel like yeah,
it looks and feels like joy, happiness, Like you can
see somebody be like they went through all that and
they still looking they're still showing us.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
Because it takes a lot of energy to hold on
to that, to that anger, whatever it is.
Speaker 7 (42:11):
So you're absolutely right. And also, like when you think
about like matters of the heart, you know, most people
hurt you. They hurt your heart, right. You know, if
you think forgiveness is something that has to happen, it's
not about like it hurts your feelings, it hurts your heart.
So whether that whatever that thing was, say it was
a past relationship, the longer you hold the grudge, the
(42:33):
longer you block that.
Speaker 10 (42:34):
Part of the heart. For you to be loved, to eat, there.
Speaker 7 (42:39):
Have to release so that we can get what God
has for us.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
There you go. Oh, this is.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Axpected Christmas is this Friday. Thank you so much for
joining us.
Speaker 8 (42:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Right now, it's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
The morning.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, hold up, every day I wake up, pack your
ass up the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 10 (43:06):
You're finished, y'all done,
Every day a week ago. Breakfast Club Morning Everybody, It's
the j n V.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Charlamagne and the Guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We
got some special guests and family members with us. The Smartest,
We got a little round. He's back here.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
We have a Reagan Gomez tapping the Brown and Anna
Marie Horse for the welcomest no.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Movie Unexpected Christmas.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Now, this this movie takes a lot of turns.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It takes a.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Lot of turns.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We'll break down the movie because it comes out this
Friday for people that want to go check this movie out.
What are they expected in this Unexpected Christmas movie?
Speaker 5 (00:39):
With about giving it a waiter, But this one tells
a lot because it's such a conversation piece and like
I have been playing Richard Is, I kind of got
his back most of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
So I'm trying not to say stuff without telling people.
But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny. Uh.
It's a lot of drama in it, but the drama
end up making sense and you see people come to
it's healthy drama. It has love in it, it has
faith in it. It's just and it has food in it.
But it is This is a different twist than you've
seen in other Christmas movies. And that's why I really
(01:16):
love That's why I wanted to do it in the
first place.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's a little New York, little la.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Function.
Speaker 6 (01:26):
Yes, yes, Why does black family movies gotta have so
much drama?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because black families get so much.
Speaker 7 (01:35):
As long as there's resolution, that's the part. Then that
means we're making something good for the black family, that's
the part.
Speaker 8 (01:41):
And you know, people come home for the holidays and
you might not have seen your family all year and
you've been mad at them about something, but now you
see them at the table, it's like, we're gonna talk
about this right now.
Speaker 7 (01:51):
That's life, and that's.
Speaker 9 (01:51):
About to come up because we've got a few more weeks.
We got Thanksgiving, some conversations. I have my family, you know,
so this movie is gonna help me.
Speaker 7 (02:02):
It's a healthy, healthy drama.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Don't bring a lot of company with you if you
want to tell the truth, because.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You got a new whole family on the other side.
Speaker 9 (02:13):
Yeah, because my husband is half Mexicans, so they all come.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Holidays and you.
Speaker 10 (02:20):
Don't know what they are about.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I got one kind of work.
Speaker 8 (02:32):
That's why you gotta learn.
Speaker 10 (02:34):
You gotta learn now you can put. You have to
tell me, you know what they're.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
Saying there you go, and what.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Spanish in your And I will tell you they're gonna
look at the baby to make sure it's his, you know,
check the toes and the ears and stuff like that.
Speaker 10 (02:55):
Love man, not a.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Little bit like a lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot
of us don't speak Spanish. So yeah, but I am
my mom's Puerto Rican for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah, that's right, that's right. And my mother said, and
I said, how come you teach your Spanish? She said,
in case I wanted to say something bad about your father, didn't.
I didn't even know that about you.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
I want to ask you, you've been part of so
many multiple generations.
Speaker 10 (03:28):
Yes, can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yes? I can't.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
How do you stay connected to like every generation of
storytellers and audiences?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I think being your authentic self that they know it's
something true, you know, I mean I don't have to rets,
but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet.
But you know, there were always children who would say
(03:58):
something and you would look.
Speaker 10 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It was one time my mother took me to this
friend's house. And I said, excuse me, do you know
you walk like a woman? And my mother said her
hand was so close to my face and he said no, no,
but do I He said, show me. I said, you
want me to show you how you walk?
Speaker 11 (04:13):
And he was a little special Jesus, just say that
so somebody identifies with being a little off, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
And my mother would say, she fell on her head
before she was born, so you have to excuse anything
that comes out her mouth. And I said, oh, I
didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might
say something that's inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (04:43):
And I think that's what it connects.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
With every generation, you know, I mean, because we don't
know when we do these things what the audience is
going to like. We really don't know which movie. You know,
I had no idea Friday was going to be as
big as it was.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
You don't know.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Have they called you for the new one?
Speaker 10 (05:05):
Listen that new one going for twenty four years? They
film me? Yeah, twenty four years? Okay, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Want to ask.
Speaker 6 (05:15):
I know we're here to talk about Christmas, but whatever
y'all learned from Miss Hors, let's start with you.
Speaker 10 (05:21):
Yeah, No, I need to know. I know this was
going on.
Speaker 7 (05:24):
It was amazing, don't said. The one thing I learned
is I can't wait to get older and say whatever
because people just laugh and they'd be like, she's, oh,
she's so cute. She don't never lie, you know, she
don't lie. She she ain't got to risk. But okay,
that's what she said. But also, like what she just said,
(05:47):
being your authentic self promotes longevity, right. I met her.
We met like twenty maybe like twenty four years ago,
and I was living in North Carolina and went to
a theater festival in Atlanta with a mentor and he
introduced me to her, and she was so kind to me,
(06:07):
and she told me, then you just got to keep,
you know, being consistent, keep pursuing it, and one day
it'll happen. And so when I saw her on set,
I reminded her that I had met her. I was
completely different then. You know, I had some little locks
in my hair. I was like straight out of you know,
coming from Greensboro hosting, and it was just like it
was surreal for me to like be on the set
(06:29):
with someone who I consider like a living legend. She said,
And I come for so many of us. But yeah,
I say longevity. It's one of the things that I've
been blessed to witness with you, you know something.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
So we did Vacation Friends together. She played my Mom,
and you know my mother one of her favorite shows
was a man right, and so like working with her
was like, like I didn't realize how funny she was,
and she you don't notice when we shoot Vacation Friends,
you literally did something like my Mom. It was. It
wasn't in the script. I think I was like my
(07:03):
characters acting like he was kind of embarrassed. He's like,
so if you embarrassed by men, I just go home.
Then you know it was but it was almost surreal
to wow. But like she some people just got it,
you know what I'm saying. And so like just being
on set with you and just like watching you do
this thing where you don't even have to say words,
(07:24):
you can just make a face. And to me, that's
a skill set too. Like I think, like somebody like
you and David Allen Greer who I look at, that
people just make their reactions is more than a word.
And so that's one of the things I learned from
just work with you because Also, You're just amazing and
you're so honest. You make I don't know what she's
gonna say half the time. That's what I love.
Speaker 10 (07:46):
Well.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
I met miss Anna when I was fourteen years old
the Parenthood and the Wayne's Brothers started off the WB
network back in the day. So I've known her for
the majority of my career, thirty years of my career.
And what t happ of the set is so true,
Like miss Anna reminds me of that time when I
was around Robert Townsend and all of these folks who
(08:06):
have been grinding since since the sixties and the seventies,
and the lessons that they give us, like she is
a treasure, a national treasure, and I've never worked with her.
So this has just been amazing you, me and my mama.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
Check out of father, because she told me, she was like, Hey,
your daddy.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
What's the biggest lesson you you try to instill and
just people about longevity and grace.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I think you can't be distracted by racism, other people's
definition of you, your truth if you just know that
you are here for purpose and nobody can take that
from you. You know what I'm saying when people say
you didn't get your flowers, I got my flower, you know,
(09:00):
because I've been working much longer. I ask God for one.
I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress.
Give me one job, because you know, nobody believed it
except your mother at first.
Speaker 10 (09:13):
And then you get the one job and you say, oh,
well that wasn't bad, and then you get another.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And I still every time I get a job, it's
like the first one. Really yeah, because somebody believes in you,
I mean somebody, it's not hard, you know, and you
look at other people. I was telling Jess, I was
following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful
and this, and I really feel it because you know, say,
(09:41):
look at that and something you didn't think of, but
you know it's the truth. And I think if you
just understand that we're in a world that there's enough
for everybody. Everybody can have five hundred Fani, Well now
you've got more than five hundred. You can have you know,
millions or whatever. Or just know that even if you
(10:02):
don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching
you in your neighborhood, your parents, your godparents, somebody's watching you,
and just make sure you feel good at the end
of the night. You know what I mean when people
about I forget that. You know, we got a story
to tell. There ain't no mistakes.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How do you decide what parts you pick? Because when
you pick your roles, they are not the same. Amen.
It's not like Friday, which is not like I was a.
Speaker 10 (10:29):
Virtuous woman and somebody tried to sell.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
A nasty story and I said, what the editor called
my press agency.
Speaker 10 (10:38):
Somebody is trying to say a.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Terrible story about her. I said, that is not true.
So it's you better pick the rolls that people you know,
because people really believe black people now I don't know
about white people.
Speaker 10 (10:51):
Black people believe.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
This is no between reality and TV. How's your husband
and I do stay in touch with Cliff? I said,
he's fine. I got a new husband now in this movie.
Rico's my new husband. A few other husbands in between.
I can't remember all of them, but they're all good
to me. They're all good to me. But it's just
(11:18):
that you have a brand, even if you don't know
you have a brand. And my brand is kind of
decent human being who's honest you know what I mean,
Just to be honest with Even if the line is
I have gone up for things, I said, this is
not me, not me. No, No, my people won't believe it,
(11:39):
and I don't believe it. Even then I said, no,
there's one, and I just said I can't.
Speaker 10 (11:45):
I said the words can't even come out of my mouth.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, it was low, low low.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Somebody else got it, a friend of mine, and I
was happy for her.
Speaker 10 (11:54):
But no, everything's not for you.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I always believe that what we get, the roles we get,
it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there.
Speaker 10 (12:03):
It's not just the role.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
God gives everybody a talent, and the talent is so
that you can use to get to affect the people
you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm
supposed to go to Georgia, the other people I'm supposed
to meet a long way in Georgia, it's not just
the movie, you know, it's somebody else whose life I'm
supposed to be affecting.
Speaker 6 (12:26):
Wow, on this film, who did you meet?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Like?
Speaker 10 (12:29):
Who I met all these colored people?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Let me just say she had a revelation because girlfriend
didn't know all of this mess was going on.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
She did not know.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
And then I can't say because I haven't seen the
completed movie yet, but there was one scene that I
felt really strong, and the producers allowed me to do
some improvisation on it. When the child comes back, you know,
because children like to grow up and then kind of
read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong.
(13:04):
You're all shaking your head forget that, no parent, want
no report card.
Speaker 10 (13:08):
We did the best week, could change the nasty diapers.
Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Some things you get right, something's right. You know, you
be perfect, but parent is not perfect. And when that
scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a
little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I
hope it addresses that issue where no, no, no, you're.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Gonna tell me. But let me just tell you a
little something.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Too, because I don't think we look we only look
from one perspective, which you didn't do for me. Well,
let me tell you what you didn't do for me,
you know, because nobody gives you the handbook on parenting.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And it's still in there too. It's like all of
us has been doing like this press run. That's one
of the most important parts of the movie. Oh yeah,
you know, I don't know who said it, but like
she's a woman too, She's like, yeah, you're human, so
like it's still when you see it, you'll see.
Speaker 10 (14:11):
I think you know.
Speaker 8 (14:13):
I was going to say one of the things that
miss Anna was was talking about, and I don't want
to give too much away, but we're so used to
our mothers and elders telling us do what I say,
Just do it, don't ever talk back to me. But
when you become an adult, you do have questions about
things that happen to you. And one of the things
that I love is to sing with you and Dominique Perry,
(14:34):
who's not here, she loves the show. She plays my sister,
but she confronts her mother and her without giving too
much away, her mother listens and apologizes, and that is
something that I really hope folks take away from this.
You can always apologize and do better. So that's one
of the things I love about this film.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
I apologize with my kids all the time, and I
agree with everything y'all saying, because I think that we
often forget our parents had a life before ye they were.
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Just a girl and a guy.
Speaker 10 (15:02):
Yeah, that's very interesting.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I at one point told my parents, I said, I
want to know who you were before you became my
mother and father. So what I did is I went
back to both of their hometown and just to see
who they were, because I said, oh, and then I
interviewed them because I didn't know, and my mother surprised
(15:24):
me a lot.
Speaker 10 (15:26):
I said, how many men you had? Mama? Camera man said.
Speaker 6 (15:31):
That's your mother.
Speaker 10 (15:32):
I said, I know, but I wanted and she said three.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
But you know, after they all come out the same,
they want the same.
Speaker 10 (15:41):
And I said, okay.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I said, well, what would you say if your daughter
had a lot more than that? She said, if it
took a hundred men to make my daughter happy, I'm
happy for her.
Speaker 10 (15:51):
And I said, who is this woman?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Who is I mean, isn't that.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
You know, they start and then at a certain point,
if you if you're lucky enough to have your parents
live long enough, because a lot of us lose them,
you become the parent to this child and you see, oh, oh,
the kindness, the kindness, you know, it's just.
Speaker 10 (16:25):
It's so interesting. That, and I think I'm blessed.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
We all are blessed to be able to have a
fantasy of I want to.
Speaker 10 (16:33):
Be an actor. I want people for them, I want
to stand on.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
State and then you get to have it done and
people know you. I mean, every other black person in America,
especially up town, knows me.
Speaker 10 (16:46):
That's how you know it's me. You know it's me.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
And you meet them how they meet you in the house,
you know, because I have been in your living room
all over, on the radio, in your car, you know,
for a long time. So I can't laugh or talk
too loud because they know. I know.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
This movie is going to empower a lot of people
over the holidays to have those conversations.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
You know.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
One of the one of my first breakthroughs in therapy
was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for
things he never taught me. And so when we had
a conversation and he started telling me about his own
issues and he tried to commit suicide and he was
on you know, different medication for his Once I realized
all that, it gave me a level of grace for
him that.
Speaker 10 (17:38):
I ever know.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Yeah, you're lucky if we got a chance to look
at them like that, that's wow.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
We also have a conversation with her. That's one of
my struggles now is that you know my dad has dementia,
and it's like, oh, you know, going through therapy and
like recognizing some moments where like dang, he wasn't. I
had to get to a point where I understood not
even just my dad, just people loved me. They wasn't
necessary hating that they didn't believe in me. They was
scared for me, and I was taking a chance doing
(18:07):
something nobody did, so it was more or less a
protection thing. It wasn't that they didn't believe you. They
just didn't want you to be hurt.
Speaker 10 (18:14):
You know what I'm saying. And so like a trade school, Broy.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
That's familiar to them. You see people who work trades
all the time. Same with Like with me, I wanted
to be an actress since I was a little girl,
but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my
mama was like, Okay, I know you want to do that,
but you also make clothes. So my great great aunt
was the town seems toss. So she said, once you
go to school for fashion design, because if the actioning
(18:41):
thing don't work out, then you have that. It wasn't
that she was discouraging. She was just telling me, like,
I know, we know what that looks like.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
You can actually do that.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
So you know, let me ask you, how would you
be with your kids? Right, because the same thing with me? Right,
My mom said, get a job with a hat.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
That was a thing.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Get a job of that hat.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
You work for twenty years, you get retired men in
your coboard. Right when I was a DJ, they thought
the DJ thing was cute. Until after I graduated from
college and I still did it. I was like, I
got enough enough.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
But now I look at it and I'm like, I
would never be that right.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
But then I look at if my son ten years
ago saidad I want to be a gamer, I'd be like, boy,
if you don't get the cons.
Speaker 8 (19:19):
Forty million can get scholarships to college now doing gaming
all across oh, yes, the world.
Speaker 10 (19:25):
And I think you have to.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I mean it's really interesting children, you know, when they're
looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder
when God talks to you, he tells you, you know,
because there's a little girl like tapas, I said, Mommy,
I got to go to Hollywood, and I would practice
walking down the steps. Of course I would fall a
lot because I had on heels. And she said, your
(19:50):
ass gonna be broken by the time because the Hollywood.
And one time I was going somewhere my back was
I said.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She was right.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Years after.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
But God tells you what you were here for, what
you were here for. And I remember one time I said, oh.
My mother said, oh, you look just like a lamp
post girl.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
And I said, oh, I'm a real actress. I was
about four or five.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I don't know what a lamp post girl was. It
was a prostitute in Santa Domingo.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
But I thought, wow, I.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Put my hat on and I had something else and
she said, oh, and I'm just like a lamp post girl.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
And I said, she didn't know what was me. I'm
a lamp post girl.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
No, mother, I never did.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I never became on, but I acted like one. But again,
God talks to you. He tells you what you came
here for. There's no mistakes, even though you don't have
any reference. This one wasn't that, This one wasn't that.
Listen to that voice, Make that voice louder than any
outside voice coming to you because they don't.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
Know you know, what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I said with my family, I had to like, I
remember when it was they were being combative to it.
But I'm like, well, y'all raised me and told me
I could do anything, So you raised me too good,
So I can't listen to what you said, you know
what I mean. Like, it's really interesting, but once again,
it came out of fear.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
One of the things I love about my family is
that they end up apologizing. When I first moved to
New York and I got my first show, they literally
threw a dinner together and apologize. And so now to
this point, they are crazy supportive. Like you see them
with little real shirts.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
You're teaching that, you're teaching them also, And I think
for our children, we always look at them as ours, ours,
little usses. But they grow up and they grow into
their own people, and then one day you need their help,
you need their advice, and you realize, oh, they're part.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Of my community.
Speaker 8 (21:50):
And it does flip as your parents get older. My
mother is in her seventies and it's very much like, girl,
why you didn't do what I told you?
Speaker 7 (21:58):
You know, talking back all of that. So life is
very interesting.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
And also you're a multi millionaire.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
Now they're gonna wear T shirts.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
That's a little round now, yeah, I mean that's but
it wasn't at first.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
For loans either.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You don't ask you for money, but it's tough. I'm
good at saying no. But like I got like that
beautiful old black man and me, you couldn't know what
I have. That don't mean I'm gonna give it to you, okay,
but you have strengthen that. Like I'm good at that,
Like I don't mind you see it. Yeah, I'm gona
(22:33):
give it to you. Grandfather afford to being a grandfather.
I mean, I don't want nobody to get pregnant, but
I do. I tell people all the time, like, yeah,
I am in my old black man crossed my leg era.
You said no, bro, Like no, yeah, I don't know
what yesterday. Maybe I don't mind saying no, Like I'm
(22:54):
good because just think about this, if anybody want to
ask you for money anything, be that person that I
irritating people. They forget that they asked me. Right, I'm
gonna have to tell you about yourself. You coming at me,
but you know something, never I don't need it, well,
why did you call me? I respect the people that
(23:15):
could take it, the one that.
Speaker 7 (23:20):
Oh, yeah season, yes, you need a season.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's always that season when.
Speaker 10 (23:25):
You need a season.
Speaker 9 (23:26):
Around Reagan, I want to go back to what you
were saying earlier about how we were raised, you know
what I mean, and how we were because I was.
Speaker 7 (23:36):
Raising two parent home.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
But it's like, you don't ask me why you don't,
you know, I say, and that's just what it is, right,
And now I have a thirteen year old, right, and
we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why, but
I let him ask me why because.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
He wants to know.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Yeah, bro, when he was bruh, you know what I mean.
And then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna put you
on your neck. But I let him, you know, as
he as I'm raising him, ask questions like, you know,
(24:13):
because and then I even talked to my mom like
I remember, we couldn't even ask you why, you know,
And what she says is like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Because that's how I was taught. The grandmother taught me that,
you know, And it was not abusive. It wasn't that
she was trying to be mean, but they were trying
to instill that. Uh, I guess that that respect right.
And some people are mistaken as fear.
Speaker 6 (24:34):
You know.
Speaker 7 (24:34):
No, she didn't want me to fear her, but I
feared them consequences, you know. And so my son now
I'm trying to find a balance exactly.
Speaker 10 (24:46):
You don't want him to.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Be too curious, but you need to be curious in life.
You know, You're you're preparing him to be a young
man out in the world. You don't want him to
just do what people tell him to do. You want
him to ask questions, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
So you're doing yeah, but see, you know, you gotta
be careful with that rope though, man, especially with teenagers,
because they like, hey, fan, look now I get it
you're hurt, but you don't just walk off while I'm
talking to you, you know what I mean. But that's
a part of because they do have a sense of freedom,
(25:19):
like especially like a lot of us, who who created
these better lives for our children? I me and my
daughter said something that was so real one time, and
I had to own that too. I'm like, cause you know,
you know, we got whatever our house is, and they
we're bored. I'm like, you got a pool? It is
a theater. What do you mean you bored?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Just so much to do here?
Speaker 10 (25:37):
You bored?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But She's like with dad, I was born into this
type of life. But then I had to look at
him like, yeah, it is a perspective of I'm from
the West Side of Chicago that had to play with
the fire hydrate outside and the room pool we had.
We don't know if it was clean because people was
in there with their regular outfits, like you know what
I mean, So like yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah,
I guess this is great to me because this is
(25:59):
what I wish I had, right, you know what I mean?
I was scared to go outside because it was crazy
that's going on. But but but that was one of
those things where you do give him the freedom, but
it also is it balanced because it's like, you know,
it's still I'm still your dad, it's still your mom.
Speaker 10 (26:14):
And you can't I hear you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You can't be talking crazy. You got an opinion? Cool,
it's the way you say it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
That's when your parents got to come out right when
they talk crazy, turn around, what would your right.
Speaker 10 (26:28):
Actually hit him?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
But we've been checked before. I remember, like my dad,
you know, he had a new job and his check
was short one time, and you know, we was being kids, like,
oh man, because he was supposed to take us a
piece of hood. You know, it's a big bill of us.
And we was we was fussing. My mama pulled us
to the side and was like, look, that's your dad,
but that's my husband. You ever disrespect his check was short? Yeah,
(26:53):
it is what it is. Wherever he take us, it's
what we're gonna do. You going there and you give
him a hug right now. And I never forget that
moment because I was like, like, when she said, that's
my husband, think about that.
Speaker 10 (27:07):
Right you be talking, don't talking about wife like that?
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Oh yeah, that's that happens a lot, especially with teenage
girls the whole way with the mom's things.
Speaker 8 (27:18):
That was one of the points that miss Anna, I
heard you say on the Red Carpet that a lot
of your mother roles you had sons and this is
the first time you had daughters, and the difference in
the conflict.
Speaker 7 (27:29):
You don't have a conflict to watch to.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You, Yes, daughters, everything, okay, what my bag?
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Look and you're supposed to be grounding her.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
The oldest is twenty four, youngest is four. I'm shoveling snow.
My daughters will be like, come on, dad, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I was like video window, Yeah, this is.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
My daddy.
Speaker 10 (28:05):
Could do no wrong.
Speaker 7 (28:06):
I remember like being mad at my mama because the
way she might have talked to my daddy if they
were having a disagreement. Like when my parents divorced, I
thought like I could live with my mama. I got
so sick that I had to go live with my daddy.
I was like, I love you, Mama, but I'm gonna
need to go stay with my daddy.
Speaker 10 (28:25):
Come and see you.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
But I got to go stay with my daddy, and
mama to you after day.
Speaker 7 (28:30):
We was in the small town, so she won't with
ten minutes away. I was raised and seeing my daddy
every single day, and I'm in ninth grade. When they
you know, divorced and separated, it felt like my world collapsed.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
And I mean, I love my mama.
Speaker 7 (28:44):
She was my best friend too, But me and my
daddy we like to this day. I talked to him
every day when I see Like when I don't see
him for a while, I started feeling like something right.
So whoever came up with mama's boy or you know,
daddy's girl came from a real place daddy.
Speaker 6 (29:02):
First of all, that's a beautiful I pray my daughter's
have that connection with me. How do what do daddys
have to do to ensure that?
Speaker 7 (29:07):
I think, create an environment that makes them feel safe,
makes them feel heard and seen, uh, you know, teach
them things that the world will try to teach them later. Like,
my daddy is a big talker, Honey, he would talk.
I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, Daddy,
you'd be talking a lot now you for real. But
(29:29):
now I'd be like telling my kids something. I'd be like,
oh my god, my daddy told me that. Like it
stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know,
because you're young, you think a little stupid stuff.
Speaker 10 (29:39):
Sometimes.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy
didn't have no sons. He just had two girls. So
you taught me a lot of things that you would
teach you know, quote unquote boys.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
He taught me how to you know, change the old
you know, chang's tires, look at all your stuff, your
time and miilia, all the things that I think that
he would have taught a son. But I use a listen.
My husband did not have a father. I taught my
husband how to Yeah, so he taught me how to
(30:11):
be loved by man, right, So you know. It also
caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
We laugh about it now.
Speaker 7 (30:18):
I used to be like, I ain't never see my mama,
pump gas what you're talking about.
Speaker 10 (30:22):
I don't like my mama.
Speaker 7 (30:25):
I was like, well, it ain't never let you just
like he just he takes care of you in a
way that makes you feel like he is the best
man in the world.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And there's an unspoken I don't know when it comes
for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man,
there's a safety valve that you could always.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Run to Daddy's. You don't even have to talk. You
don't even have to talk. You just hold that leg
or that foot.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
And my big deal is I never wanted to I
didn't want to disappoint thought of disappointed by Larva. They
gave me a hard time on Amen after the second
year or something, and they didn't want to come through
with the money that they had promised.
Speaker 10 (31:10):
And I said, you know, it's okay, you all got it.
I don't have to do it ever again, because I.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Had far exceeded any expectations anybody had for me. So
I can go back uptown live in one of his houses,
one of the rooms. He might complain about some rent.
Speaker 10 (31:26):
But I just felt I got a daddy who will
take care of me. He's the rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And there's something and I don't know if they tell
you something or you just feel it, there's a feeling.
And all of a sudden, this last week, I've been
thinking about when he used to see me, used to smile.
Speaker 10 (31:43):
I used to make him smile all the time. And
I said, what was that about?
Speaker 11 (31:48):
You know?
Speaker 10 (31:49):
Anna?
Speaker 4 (31:49):
You know? And I got a chance to bring him
out to Hollywood when I was still on the show,
and he was so grateful.
Speaker 10 (31:55):
Then he said, tell your father. I said, I said, Daddy,
stop Sherman Hemsley, it's not my.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Got involved in this thing.
Speaker 10 (32:05):
And I said, it's something that you feel. That's why
you tell women.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I just feel so bad for any man who walks
away and see that. Parenthood is a two party check.
It's a check that has to be signed by mommy
and Daddy, whether you know them or not, Whether he
pays child.
Speaker 10 (32:24):
Support or not.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
The child needs those two signatures. They need to know, wow,
my nose looks like yours, my eyes look like yours.
You say that, or Daddy gets a joke about you.
Speaker 10 (32:37):
Two don't have to be together.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
But that child needs to know he comes from two
forces that came together to create this.
Speaker 10 (32:46):
And like you said, and sometimes it's not talk. It's
sometimes just a feeling.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And when they look at you and you say, oh,
because that that's something that's not talked about enough. Right,
Because sometimes you do have some young women if they
dad wasn't around. Yeah, I've seen him, like make up
a version of it, right, Yeah, well it's a mill
my grandfather. But it's not the same No, it's not. Yeah,
it's literally not the same thing the connection you had
(33:11):
with your dad.
Speaker 11 (33:12):
Right.
Speaker 8 (33:13):
And you know what for me, my oldest is eighteen.
She's a freshman in college high honey. But even taking
her to college and dropping her off and my husband
was a wreck when we got on the plane and
came on without her.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
And I'm like, you know, I'm independent.
Speaker 8 (33:28):
I've been working since.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
I was fourteen. I'm like, she's good, she's good.
Speaker 8 (33:31):
He's like, but if something happens, I can't just get
to her. Yeah, and I'm like, wow, wow, that's a
real and as his wife, as his wife, because he
did his father was not around either, But seeing the
man that he is and the father that he is,
it just made me fall more in love with him.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
That's really what you're saying. My daughter doing college Basu's
not and I feel the same way. It's like she
got to be somewhere where the village can get to
her quick before I can.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
My daughter went to n YU, so it was right there.
But now but now on the other side, my son
go to University of Miami.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
It was like is like it was.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
White women galore yeh.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeh from my daughter play football miss.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
But how did your wife handle because said that part.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
They speak all the time, they FaceTime all the time.
But for me, I remember the first time I called
my daughter, she didn't answer right.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I jet to the city. She was sleeping. I jet
to the city and I would on her so bad.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
I need.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I need to get in here.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
But my wife looked at me like.
Speaker 7 (34:46):
She's living her life. She's living her she has she
has classes.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Sophomore year two. This was COVID.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
And the bad thing about New York is I went
to Hampton, right, so he has a but she's going
to She's hanging out with yeah everybody, just like.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
You did, Just like you did. You know, now it's
her turn.
Speaker 10 (35:17):
It's her, just like we did.
Speaker 7 (35:24):
I think the part about that and what I had
to learn is that my daughter, my children are not me, right,
They're not going to do the exact same thing that
I did. I'm not going to think the way that
I thought. I think that's where I made a lot
of mistakes in my parenting, like you know, learning with
my daughter because I was like, now, I know what
I was thinking when I was that age, and so
(35:45):
I was projecting my fears of my own past upon
her and that wasn't fair for her, right. And now
that she's twenty four, we've talked about it, and it's
some stuff that I can't read parents guilt for And
she'd be like, Mama, I don't even remember what you're
talking about. And I'm like, oh, well, thank you anyway
for letting Mama get it out. But our children, we
(36:07):
give birth to them, God trust us to bring them here,
but they are not us.
Speaker 6 (36:11):
Yeah, I told my daughter a couple of days ago,
because you know she's been driving. She got a car.
Now you know, she goes out, she comes home, responsor me,
she got a job and stuff like that. And I said,
you know what, I love that I can trust you.
It's just a feeling that you can trusty child. I
don't know, it's just everything.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Can I say one thing to you about step parents
and stuff like that, and you have to, even if
you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother,
understand that that child is walking around with the DNA
from that other person and they need.
Speaker 10 (36:49):
To replenish that energy that's in them.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Because again, even if I'm mad at you, don't get
one guy I was working with on Amen and it's
far the was my father's doctor. And I was so
excited to say, oh, your father's and so when you're
telling me so, I don't talk to him.
Speaker 10 (37:08):
And I said why And he said, I don't want
it to make my mother mad.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
And I said, no, your mother knows him. But the
conflict because the father might have done the mother wrong,
you know.
Speaker 10 (37:22):
She did, but the idea is no, she picked him.
She picked him, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by
talking to your father, you know.
Speaker 10 (37:35):
So we have to be really open.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
And saying even though I don't like, I want you
to continue to like if you can just be gentle
just if he wants to send a card or encourage
him sometimes just call your father say hello, don't use
the kids, don't Yeah, and you don't know, we're we're
we're doing it.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Well. This is just with your book too, And it's
funn because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean,
co parenting is so it's it's a humbling experience where
you have to take your personal feelings out of it
for the it has to go. And then if you
know you're able to you know, one of the things
I love, you know, with my ex wife was that
(38:14):
we was able to have a real conversation at some
point when we put all the ego stuff once we
once we did that and it was like, all right,
we can talk about what we did wrong if you
want to just get out, let's just get that out there,
because we ain't gonna get back together. Let's just talk
about Its no point of being like we were cool
at one point, you know, what I'm saying. So, like
when you do that and then you just focus on
(38:35):
those children, it's weird because sometimes it's hard for like
even when you have a newer person, they could get
a little irritated with your co parenting relationship. Fam, I'm
keeping the peace.
Speaker 10 (38:46):
Yes, I hear it.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yes, listen, but yeah, this is cool.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yes, yes, because it wasn't cool at one.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the
movie and everything we're talking about. Now, do you personally
believe that family should always be forgiven? I know we're
talking about stepparents, but.
Speaker 10 (39:07):
Just its.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
That's a good question.
Speaker 7 (39:24):
Yeah, I believe everyone can be forgiven. Right, forgiveness is
not for the other person, it's for you. And so forgiveness,
even in family doesn't mean we have to be together forget.
It doesn't mean that you have to be back in
(39:44):
my life. It just means I have forgiven you and
I'm going about my business.
Speaker 9 (39:48):
Yeah, you got some some deep pain though, like from
some family members that just can't reverse.
Speaker 8 (39:54):
Like especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness, if
they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard
for even if you want to forgive.
Speaker 7 (40:02):
Yeah, But that's the thing about forgiveness. When it's for you,
you don't have to say it to that person. It's
so that you can move forward in your life without hinderance, right,
because sometimes you can hold something against someone and it
holds you back, right, you can't move forward. So it's
not for them, right, especially because we've all been hurt
(40:25):
and there's some things that people do that feels like
that is it can't be forgiven, Like it just can't.
But to them, they may go to you know, they
rest in place feeling like you never forgave them, and
that's their business to feel. For you to live your
life in peace, forgiveness has to live in your heart.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, you gotta trust. I mean if it depends if
you're a person of faith, but you just got to
trust God.
Speaker 10 (40:47):
Let God do it God.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
I think we really don't understand how much we have
to mind our own business when it comes to faith.
I don't need to see God's vengeance on you. Whatever
God does with you, that's just what. Because I may
forgive you and not even be as angry as I
want God to be because all of our father So
it's like I'm doing this because I want I went
to see a play called Old Happy Day. That's that's
out here. Oh man, it's so good and it's a
(41:12):
great song they have really with that subject. It's you know,
it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exactly. I
heard the yesterday, but it's like, can you forgive the
personal situation that hurts you the most? And it was
God asking that question to Jordan's Cooper's character, because that's
how you move on. You gotta move You can't sit
in that, you know what I mean, because it really
(41:32):
affects you and you can't get it. Ain't about me
saying what. I don't need nothing from you. I don't
need you to say. It is what it is. I
forgive you and we ain't got to talk again.
Speaker 9 (41:42):
I wonder what that looks like though, I wonder what
it looks like forgiving somebody training God talk to you
know what I mean, like, like, what.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Does that look like?
Speaker 7 (41:53):
And it looks like freedom, freed, it's a feel like yeah,
it looks and feels like joy, happiness, Like you can
see somebody be like they went through all that and
they still looking they're still showing us.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
Because it takes a lot of energy to hold on
to that, to that anger, whatever it is.
Speaker 7 (42:11):
So you're absolutely right. And also, like when you think
about like matters of the heart, you know, most people
hurt you. They hurt your heart, right. You know, if
you think forgiveness is something that has to happen, it's
not about like it hurts your feelings, it hurts your heart.
So whether that whatever that thing was, say it was
a past relationship, the longer you hold the grudge, the
(42:33):
longer you block that.
Speaker 10 (42:34):
Part of the heart. For you to be loved, to eat, there.
Speaker 7 (42:39):
Have to release so that we can get what God
has for us.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
There you go. Oh, this is.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Axpected Christmas is this Friday. Thank you so much for
joining us.
Speaker 8 (42:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Right now, it's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
The morning.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, hold up, every day I wake up, pack your
ass up the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 10 (43:06):
You're finished, y'all done,
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