Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:44):
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's DJ NV Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne, the Guide.
We are the Breakfast Club law La Rosa is here
as well, and we got a special guest in the building.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Indeed, Lizzen that's up.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
How you feel?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
I feel good, I'm a little sleepy. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
You look good.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Everybody talks about your physical appearance and how you lost weight.
But to me, I see somebody that has changed mentally
and spiritually. I see somebody that's on a healing journey
because you got to glow about you.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Yeah, thank you. Well that's where it starts.
Speaker 6 (01:24):
I think I had to start with, you know, cleaning
out my mind and my energy and clearing out all
of the negativity around me. And I feel like I
released so much I was holding on to and then
it starts to manifest physically as well. Like that's why
I don't call it a weight loss. I do call
it a weight release because it started. I got snatched
here first, and then my body just followed suit.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
So I do feel amazing.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
I feel like I've always been in a good place
because I'm always a positive person. But I think that
I was not aware of just like how much toxicity
has started.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
To kind of come around in my life.
Speaker 6 (02:01):
And I had a really beautiful period of isolation and
clearing of that energy. And now I just feel like, oh,
I was holding on it so much.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
You gotta let go. It's hard for me.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
I'm a tourist, so I'll hold I'll hold the fuck on. Yeah,
hard headed, stubborn, loyal, you know so. But I'm so
glad you feel that it's an aura thing.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, you can definitely tell me, he said. Pilates helped
a lot with it too, right.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
I started out with pilates, yeah, because my back was
hurting and that was the best way to get moving.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
But I do a lot of things. I strength train,
I do.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
Yoga, sculpt I hike, I played pickleball, I got a
water bike.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know, a little bit you just Pilotates was one
of the best. I did pilates with my daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Wait, you do PILATEI yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Wanted me to go with because I didn't want to
go at first, but it was you know, you do
some stuff with your daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, and I did it.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
She's twenty one, twenty three, and she took me to
do pilates and it was the most amazing thing. All
my aches, all my pains, he was able to stretch
it out. It was it was I'm the only guy
in there, damn.
Speaker 6 (03:06):
Which is crazy because Pilates, that's a man. His name
is Joseph Pilates. A man created it and is designed
to help you with longevity. So he lived to be
like well, I mean, I think he passed away in
a house fire, but he could have lived to be
like two hundred years old.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Just got changed the music a little bit. Sometimes that
music is just don't.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Be funny, stuff that motivates you to keep doing it.
Sometimes need a little I want to hear trap music.
Some trap pilates is crazy. You better trademark that for
somebody taking in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
One of our friends, Weezy do that fitness we Need
New York that does.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
From the Decision of Decisions podcast.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
She has an actual place called trap House Fitiness and
that's what they do.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
But is it called trap plates Because I'm a branding girl,
I'm a trademarked that this.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Trap house fitness. I don't know that's cool.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Well, okay, it's not taken. It's a billion dollar idea.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
You've always had a form of self love that people
can see, but I feel like it's just.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
More radical now.
Speaker 6 (04:08):
Yeah, I think it has to be. I have to
fight for it a little bit more, but I think
I always have to fight for it though. Actually I
just think it's just like, as your life changes and
different things happen to you, you gotta you know, move differently. Yeah,
I think it's just a life thing. Like you can't
handle every situation in your life the same you get older,
(04:29):
you grow up.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Everybody can relate to that.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I'm glad you said that because people think radical self
love is a constant state, but no, you gotta fight for.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
It every day.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
I don't love myself every day when I wake up,
Like some days I do wake up and I'm like, yes,
But some days I wake up and I don't. And
it's it's the act of seeking that, you know, love
for yourself, and you don't actually always have to be love.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
It could be like it could be tolerate, you know
what I mean. I'm just or accepting that I.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
Don't like it, and I'm cool with that, but I'm
gonna get there one day. It's it's not a monolist,
you know, it's a process.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
At what point in your career did you get to
this point where like you even like talk about that
side of it more, Because I feel like when you
first came out, even when you did talk about like
stuff that wasn't as positive, you still kept it so positive.
But now that you stream, you really get into like
how you feel for real, what you're going through, you like,
and it was a lot more protected when Lizzo first
came on the scene. From what I felt like, the
(05:24):
brand was protected a little bit more. But now you're
taking control over a lot more.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
I just think people know me a little bit more.
So I think I'm able to communicate things and not
put a bow on it or have a happy ending
because y'all just know me more. I think when I
first came out, people didn't know me. So the brand
is very like one note because it's like, oh, that's
that girl, that's the happy girl who'll be working with
(05:51):
the flu, you know. And but that happens to everybody,
Like any artists, you just become like a thing, you're
not a person. But I think the more we get
to know artists, and the longer they're in the game,
the brand becomes more multifaceted. And I think mine just
expanded a little bit more. So I feel more comfortable communicating.
And also I feel safer on stream talking about these
(06:12):
kinds of things because I know I'm in a room
with people who get me. Y'all understand me, you know me,
so I can tell you how the fuck I'm feeling
or what I went through, and you know, these real
moments that I have, I can share that, and I
arge you you were saying that people are kinder there
as well, like it's a better sense of community on
Twitch and streaming that that's good. When did you were
(06:33):
you scared to before? Were you scared to dive into
that part?
Speaker 4 (06:36):
You know?
Speaker 6 (06:37):
I always kind of flirted with it because I love
like running my mouth and I love talking and I
love talking to my fans. I've always been this person
like with my social media. So I had a whole
Twitch set up in my house, just ready to go,
and I was like, I was like, I want to
whole stream is set up now, I want games, all
of that, the sims, and it was just in my
house sitting there, and I was kind of intimidated by it.
(06:58):
I would walk by it every day and be like
these days, I'm a stream one of these days. And
then I remember my friend Solana. She was like, bitch,
I'm about to be on kay Sanat like pull up
with me. And I was literally I was like when
she was like in two hours, I said, okay, let
me get myself together and like go pull up with
my friend, Yes, okay, but my friends Silana, A lot
(07:19):
of people might not know you're talking ton I know,
you know, but the average person might night.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (07:29):
I just like average people might not know that cause
casually talking about I am so sorry the track. So
Sissa hit me and was like, I'm about to be
on kay Sanat in like two hours, can you pull
up with me? And I was like, fucky, I'm gonna
pull up with you because I'm like, I was so
afraid because it's like he has like hundreds and hundreds
of thousands damn near million people watching and commenting in
(07:51):
real time. Oh god, that's terrifying. So I said, you
know what, I'm gonna pull up and I'm gonna ride
with my friend. And I was like, if anybody got
any thing that coat would say though saying about me,
goddamn it, you know. So I pulled up and I
had so much fun and I was reading a chat
and they were like yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
W Lizzo, yeah, W Sizza, yeah, littlely.
Speaker 6 (08:12):
Motes and shit, and I was like, oh, they're so nice,
and that made me feel comfortable with diving into my
own channel. I made Lizo be twitching and Kai got
me like forty thousand subscribers in like two seconds. He
was like, everybody, go spam Lizzo be twitching right now,
and they all followed it, and I was like, Okay,
now I have to stream because they just gonna be
(08:34):
sitting in there, you know, building a cachet.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
So that really helps?
Speaker 6 (08:38):
Would you say, absolutely, I have to run my mouth.
I'm a life path three, I'm a communicator. So therapy
was the beginning of that. Like that saved my life,
being able to talk to somebody once a week and
just run my mouth and figure out my issues. And
I feel like when I communicate, when I write music,
(08:59):
when I sing songs, when I go on tour, when
I talk to people, it is very healing and it's
very connecting. I need to connect to feel good. I
can't be disconnected. I go actually insane, I learned.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You mean you can't be disconnected from people.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Yeah, I can't be disconnected from people. I go insane.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
So at a point where you said you had to
step back and isolate, that was kind of hard for
you too, since you had to, I mean, I know
you had to do it, and it all, you know,
made sense, and it made since in the end, but
it still was challenging for you because you have to
be connected to people person It was a little insanity,
but I think in a little period of insanity can
(09:40):
be helpful because you have to do really hard work.
And I was at a point in my life where
the Internet hated me and I could not trust the
people around me, like friends, family, co workers, and I
was severely depressed, and so I didn't have anyone to
(10:01):
talk to. And I sat in that and I went crazy.
But I spent time with myself, which I think I
was always afraid to do. I know people who are
like I just need to be alone. I just need
to go to the park and be by myself and
read a book. I'm like, what's not without a buddy,
not without a sweet treat in a conversation. But when
(10:23):
I finally did it, I was so afraid of feeling lonely,
and I pushed past that, and it's like, you can
be alone and not lonely, and you can sit with
yourself and find out who you are now because you've
grown up and you didn't check in.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
You know and.
Speaker 6 (10:38):
Love her or like her, or just know her and
know what she wants and now I feel like I
know who I am. I know whose I am and
can't nobody shake that. Because once I reintroduced myself back
into connecting with people and friends and trusting the Internet,
and you know, I'm like, I know who I am.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
I move with a different kind of confidence.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
But why the Internet though, Because I say that, you
say the Internet hates you, But you can leave your
house and lizzle. Everybody wanna take a picture, you do
a show. Everybody gonna come to your show and be
cheering for you. So why the Internet? You know, is
people that love you wouldn't be little if people didn't.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
I didn't know that. That's the wild part.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
I have a lot of my uh in the beginning,
a lot of my career and my validation was based
off of social media.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Like I was one.
Speaker 6 (11:23):
I was a part of that first generation of artists
who really like galvanize their following on social media because
that wasn't like an industry standard.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Even people don't.
Speaker 6 (11:32):
Even realize it's because we've been microwaved by the Internet.
We don't realize how far we've moved in a very
short amount of time. Like pre twenty fifteen, this social
media was not even a conversation in labels. But there
were people like me and little nas X and people
like that. We were going online and we were just
like talking to our fans like direct and galvanizing them
(11:54):
and building a community.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
And so all of.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
My love because I'm not always on tour, I'm not
always really a people like I be in the house.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm kind of boring.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
So all of the love and like we love you,
like you're amazing, like this is good, we fuck with
you was all from the internet for me, and that
was fine because I had built my community and I
felt very safe with that, and then that all kind
of changed, and I feel like the Lizzo that I
am has always been truly me, and it was wild
(12:24):
to see that, Like you reach a point of fame
where somebody can change that just by saying something about
you that's not true or whatever. Yes, but that's that's fame,
Like that is the definition of fame is for me
is people could say things about you that aren't true
and everyone will believe it, of course, for better or
(12:45):
for worse.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (12:46):
It's like Lizo got red toilet paper on her ride.
Everyone will believe that. Like that's that's weird, Like that's
just fame shit. So once that all changed, I started
to I believed that I was loved because the Internet
told me they loved me. And when the Internet hated me,
I believed that I was hated and I didn't believe
like so it was really weird. And when I isolated,
(13:09):
I was really afraid of people. And there was this
and there was I always say a concert, but it
was renaissance.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
It was like a concert in a park in la
It was.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
Renaissance, shout out beat, and I was like, I have
to go. And I was so afraid to go because
I just thought people were gonna, I don't know, throw
tomatoes at me or something. I could get really self
doubting in my head. But I pushed through and I
went and I promised you. Like I it was like
one person. Once one person recognized you, then like other people.
(13:43):
So one person recognized me and they were like litzen
and I was like, yes, I love you, come here
and they hugged me.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
And then I got a video of it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
You were in the crowd.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
I was in the crowd, babe. I'm not in no
sweet I was not in those sweet are renaissance. I
was where the people are.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Thing. Yes, she was definitely. You were definitely like that.
I saw you in.
Speaker 6 (14:03):
The mall that day, and it was it was like
a chain effect. People weren't noticing, but she was kind
of timid with you. She was like, oh hi, And
my buddy caught my friend Coy. I was like, he
was like I just saw this. I was like, I
want to meet her, and then he was like, I'm
gonna take you over there, and I was like, oh
my god, I'm scared to meet you, and you look.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Just as scared. I'm like, I get lizo.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Then other people noticed.
Speaker 6 (14:23):
Then other people walking past notice, then the little girl
noticed with her dad, and you got love. But you
did seem like you were in a place where you
didn't even know how to accept it.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
At the mall, yep, I was really uncomfortable because I
was like, I don't know what people are like thinking
about me, and that shit fucks me up really bad,
because if somebody's thinking something about me that's not true,
and it's like I can't prove it, I can't, you
know what I mean, It's just weird.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
I was like uncomfortable.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
So at the concert at Renaissance, people were just showing
me love and hugging me and being like we got
your back, like you know, shake that shit off, we
love you. And I'm getting emotional now even thinking about
I just started crying.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I was crying and I was.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Hugging them, and I was like, you know what, this
is where real love is. You cannot get this shit
off the internet. You cannot get this kind of love
from the internet. It's the only the only kind of
love you can get it like, this is in real life.
And that I was like, I have to make an
album about this. And so my album Love and Real
Life Is started from that experience, and I started to
rediscover what real love feels like, and what real connection
(15:31):
and real community feels like.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
And now I know I.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
Can still get love on the Internet, but I also
can curate it, and I can weed out the real
from the fake. I can differentiate. Now I don't just
believe everything, you know, I really actually at this point
don't believe anything I see on the internet.
Speaker 7 (15:49):
Seeing so much stuff about yourself. Even before that time, yeah,
you were like, what that's just not true.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
And I'll see things about my friends that's not true,
and I'll be like what you mean, like with them
right now, like that's not happening.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
But you got to remember, nobody cares about the truth
and the lives more entertaining.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
As long as you know that, you wouldn't pay.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
This sh Also, the mess is more entertaining. They don't.
They don't care about the.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
For it right.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
We reward people who do that, give them thousands of
dollars for these chats that are fake, and we don't
punish them.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
There's no penalty.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
I was gonna say to the red toilet paper will
be fire. You said that, and that shit been stuck
in my head.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I just think got black toilet paper. I never seen
no red toiler.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Red would be fire.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
But you can't see nothing.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
You can't see.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
And I'm on my message right now. I don't want
to take I just made something I don't need that.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
I was gonna ask what puts you into that light?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Like you know, usually you're a pop star, right, and
usually when you meet pop.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Stars period, they come on black girl popstar.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
A lot of times that the assholes that stand office
you don't see them, but we see you so much.
And every time somebody asked me about Lizzo if she's
been to the breakfast club I met.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I was like, she's the nicest, she's cool, she's.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Down to earth.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
What puts you in that mind frame to say, I
don't want to be like that. I want to be this. Wait,
because you were at them all by yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You were at the Charlemagne went to the consot last
night asking what he was sweet, but you were out
on the floor like you do.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Hey booze. Wait, okay wait. The first half of that
question was pop stars are assholes?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
You said A lot of times you see pop stars
are I don't want to say assholes, but out of
the way, like you can't touch them. They feel like
they don't want to be next to their people. If
you go back and look at a lot of pop stars,
you don't seem as personable as let's say you would be.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
That's interesting. I have a lot of.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Sympathy for like, really really famous pop star people because
a lot of them became famous when they were teenagers.
A lot of them started this when they were like nine,
And I can't relate to not to I'm just getting
it together and I'm a grown ass woman.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
When it happened to me you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
So, like that developmental stage where you're getting all of
this like weird love and validation from like strangers, and
you can get anything you want, and you know, your
comfort level starts to get real sensitive too, like people
open doors for you.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
People you know you have drivers pull up to you.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
You don't got to drive. You sixteen year old, don't
got a license because you've had a driver since you
were thirteen. Like the way you're gonna move through the
world is a little different than someone like me, who
you know pretty much all the way up until I
was twenty nine years old, was working at restaurants, working
at Raisin canes, like working at the mall, like playing
(18:38):
shows to like fifty people. One of my first shows
I ever played with my mom, nobody was there but
the sound engineer, and I still went the fuck, not
the fuck, but I still went hard even though the
only person there was the bartender and the sound engineer
in my mom, like you know I have, I had
of a different experience with the success that I have,
(18:58):
Like I was in I was with the people. I
would play festivals and then I would jump down off
the stage and just go to the rest of the
festival with everybody else, you know, So like when fame
happened to when I became famous, when it happens to you,
you know, it's strange for me because I feel like
(19:19):
I became famous in twenty twenty, which is weird, Like
after I won the Grammy. I don't think I was
famous in twenty nineteen. I don't think I was famous
in twenty eighteen. Yeah, I feel like twenty twenty when
I want to Grammy and then guess what happened?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I run to Grammy January.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Guess what happened in March twenty twenty, Cause it's.
Speaker 7 (19:34):
Dooe for you though, because I think that's when a
lot of us needed like that, like just something light
and yeah, we're doing that all right in the Internet,
and I think that's what it caught people so much.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
But maybe that's what put the box there too though.
But at that time, we were all separated from each
other because there was a global pandemic, not because I
am famous and I need to be separated from everyone.
So by the time we was able to be back outside,
I still have my twenty eighteen twenty nineteen mentality. I
want to be where the people are. I want to
connect with everybody, like I don't want to be put
(20:04):
on no pedestal. So I think that's the difference. I
don't think it's a choice being like other pop stars
are allegedly assholes allegedly, and I don't want to be that.
It's just like, this is just who I am, and
I think everybody should just like be yourself, you know.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Like I'm not going to change who I am just
because I'm famous.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Now, that's because when did you first realize that confidence
and healing weren't the same thing.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Damn, listen, you'll be with every day?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Why everybody were talking about fueh he want to be
all serious?
Speaker 6 (20:37):
Let me think that's a really deep confidence in healing. Well,
they're not, first off, just by definition, because I think
people can fake confidence.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
You can't fake healing.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Can't be fake healed, like, oh, you know you gotta
cut and it's like, yeah, I'm faking it.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You know that's a band aid. You're not really healed yet.
You know.
Speaker 6 (21:02):
With confidence, there are a lot of people who walk
around and they can pretend to be confident. And actually,
I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be
used a little artificially, the fake it till you make it,
and then eventually you get there. Because my confidence, you know,
I had to force it and fake it for a
long time because I didn't grow up in a world
(21:24):
where they were like, you're beautiful and your body is beautiful,
and we like you, we like your personality. Yeah, you
watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
No, Like I was very like.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Other and I think that I had to be like, no,
you are good enough, you are worthy of love. Your
body is beautiful, even when I didn't believe it. And
I think that that eventually, if you say something enough,
it can come true. You can manifest it, you can
create your reality. And I think I got there by
(22:00):
faking it. But healing, I think, is a little bit
uglier than confidence, and I think I'm still learning that.
I don't think there's like a singular moment, but I think, man,
it's funny because you look back and you're like, all
these years of like telling myself, I love myself and
I'm beautiful, and can't nobody tell me about me? Da
(22:22):
da dada da, And then people can and you realize, oh,
all this shit wasn't even real.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I was just telling myself this.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
I was faking the funk because if I really believed
that y'all wouldn't be able to take this from me,
y'all wouldn't be able to shake me. And then being
like walking through the world now and being like, man,
this person just says something crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
People be talking to me crazy. I'm so nice, and I'll.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Be like, okay, cause I'm like, you know, I don't
need your validation, but okay, but now people talk crazy
to me, and I'll be like, hmm, but you know what,
it's not even real. You're in pain, You're hurting for
you to say something to me like this. What did
I bring out in you? Did I make you feel
a little insecure for a second?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Boo boo ah? I'm sorry, and I hope that I
hope it gets better for you.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
But you give a lot of people grace though, Like
I've seen people have made it, cracked a joke or
said something, and then I'll see you do an interview
a couple of years later and you give them the grace.
Why do you feel like it's the right thing to
give grace instead of just give the middle finger a
single fuck yourself?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Because people are as kind to others as they are
to themselves. And if somebody is throwing hatred or or
saying something mean, just mean spirited about somebody just for
the sake of doing it. I can't imagine how you
talk to yourself. I can't imagine how you think about
yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching. And for
(23:44):
that I've already won, So I don't need to win
in real life and sit up and talk bad about nobody.
I don't have anything bad to say about nobody. And
I've been dogged, I've been dog walked bad, and I
don't have any to say. I have nothing bad to
say because because I love the person I've become through
(24:06):
it all, and I think that's the real prize, that's
the real reward.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
What did you well? First?
Speaker 7 (24:11):
On that note, does it get on your nerves though
that sometimes every single thing you do people still relate
it to like wanting to talk about you in certain ways,
like you were at the met Gala the outfit went off.
Every headline, though, is about your weight loss and not
about how good you looked. And I think that that's
unfair And it happens a lot with you, does that
get annoying to you where it's like I can't move
around that, like people always want to talk about me.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Well, I signed up for it.
Speaker 6 (24:34):
I knew when you know, back in twenty fourteen and
big girls weren't wearing leotars on stage, and I said,
I'm about to put me on one of these Beyonce dance leotars,
and I'm about to have big girls behind me wearing
them too, because I knew that my body would be
the focus of that conversation. And it was something that
(24:57):
because it was unavoidable, I either I could hide and
run from it, and people are gonna.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Do it anyway. You know. It's like the big girl
wearing your arms out theory.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
It's like we know your arms big, whether you you know,
cover it up or not, we know your arms big,
So either enjoy the outfit and wear your arms out
or cover your arms up, but we know what it is.
So for me, it was just like I'm just gonna
run head first into it. What I didn't know is
that it would never go away. No matter how much
(25:28):
my body changes, It's never gonna go away. But I
think that I have to just like accept that and
I'm actually cool with it. It doesn't annoy me because
I look good, you know, and even when I was bigger,
I looked good.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
So it's like, say what you want.
Speaker 6 (25:43):
But there was always someone in the comments being like, yeah,
but she's still beautiful and she looks soft and face
Card never declines.
Speaker 7 (25:52):
What about the time because I was reporting when all
the lawsuit stuff happened, and you didn't say anything for
a long time, like not at all, which those people
come out and say stuff. I was wondering the day
that it was dropped, how did you feel? What was
your thought process around that? Because you were in isolation
at that point, right.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
I was in Japan, Yeah, on a dream trip.
Speaker 7 (26:12):
A brough of fresh air or did you feel like
but the conversation is still there and it is hard.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Oh, it's very hard because I was confused. I was
confused and I was a little like hurt. But I
was in Japan with it was my first time ever
being in Japan. I was with my best friend and
her kids and we.
Speaker 6 (26:35):
Were at Hello Kitty World, and I'm like crying in
the car, but I'm like, Okay, wipe your tears and
go in there and have fun with the babies because
we had Hello Kitty World, and you only do this
once with these kids who've never been to Japan and.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
That's their dream.
Speaker 6 (26:50):
So I did a lot of balance in between that.
But I'll tell you one thing about Tokyo. They don't
give it fuck.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
What's going on in your personal life and Tokyo they're
like a picture.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
I'm like, okay, Like I had a great time, like
nobody's nosy in Japan, and I think being there was
God for sure, because though I was dealing with a
lot of inner turmoil and hurt, honestly in shock and confusion,
I was in this place that didn't reflect that or
(27:22):
throw that back at me. I had my first panic
attack when I came back to la for the first
time after everything the lawsuit had dropped and I was
in Japan for like a month and I landed in America.
I had a panic attack in the car because as
I was walking through the airport, I was like, everybody
hates me, everybody's you know. I got in my head
and I got in a car and I like I
(27:44):
had this.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Like yeah, I had this like pressure on my chest.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
Mind you, I've had anxiety attacks that feels different than
a panic attack.
Speaker 4 (27:51):
I had pressure on my chest. I said, something's really wrong.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
I couldn't use my limbs or my body, and I
was like I literally crawled to my bed and just
like broke down. I was like, what's happening to me?
And I talked to my doctor and was like, hey,
you got a panic attack?
Speaker 4 (28:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:06):
And I think America, everybody want to know everybody's business here,
so I it's this weird almost like invisible. I'm not
a victim, so I don't want to say attack, but
it was like, you know, this pressure or this like
I don't know, it's like implied energy in America where
I'm like, oh I need to hide versus Japan, I
(28:29):
could be a Hello Kiddy world and everyone's like.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Right you were when somebody lies.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Yeah, that when you started thinking people hated you. Because
I wondered, do you remember what the industry felt like?
What what social media even felt like? Before that lossuit, it.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Felt very like.
Speaker 6 (28:54):
Silly and lighthearted, and I had like a lot of
freedom to just scroll and I see nothing about me.
And then I was on and I would scroll and
every like three scrolls it was, and I was like, oh,
we'd be like Liza, if I just see two z's,
my heart start raising. My scroll been pizza, but I
was like wow, and I just kept scrolling, So it
(29:16):
felt it felt.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
A little bit more hostile.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
But I'll say in general, I think the internet has
gotten more hostile for everybody, every like out of nowhere,
Like it used to be so fun and lighthearted, and
now everybody is beefing and quarreling and dropping tea and
I'm just like, WHOA, when did this happen? But that's
when it happened for me, Like I was like, oh,
I have to get off. And so from I would
(29:41):
say October twenty twenty three to maybe even like April
twenty twenty four, I wasn't on my phone at all.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
I threw my phone.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
Away, Like I had my team post things for me
because I had to post about yiddie and I had
to post about, you know, little things I wanted to
share with people. I didn't want to completely disappear because
that's not who I am. But my team posted it
for me and I did not scroll. I did not
look at the internet because I was too sensitive. And
I think I don't think I could have handled it.
(30:13):
And I'll also say this in reference to the lawsuit,
I would say, in light of all of the other
like high profile lawsuits that have been coming out comparatively
the allegations against me, I think, now we see we're
just like kind of ridiculous. You know, I cracked my
knuckles in the script club to me and mind.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
You, it was going to the strip club.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
It doesn't say that I did anything like I didn't
do anything to anyone in that strip just went to
the strip club. And then like being fat phobic for
firing someone for gaining weight, that just wasn't true.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
It wasn't true, but just larious, right, But that's why
nobody believed.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
It's like right, But but I also have to say,
like one of my fears is I don't want my
situation and my lawsuit to be an indicator on any
other that's going on. I don't want it to invalidate
any other actual because I will always stand for real
victims of sexual harassment and sexual violence and anything, and
(31:18):
I will always stand for them and ride for them.
So I don't want what happened to me to kind
of invalidate anything else going on in the world. And
that was really important to me, which is why I
was quiet for a long time, because I still want
to protect victims side.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Does that not change you?
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Right?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
How does that not change.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Liz as a person? I did though, because now do
you still go out with people? Do you still feel
as free?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Are you still the listeners?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Baby? No? Baby? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Because it changes you as a person. And is that
a good thing of bad?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
I think it's an amazing thing. I am. You know what,
God really loves me.
Speaker 6 (31:54):
I have to say that, and I feel like everything
that happens to me is God, and God is preparing
me for something that I don't even know about. But
I feel like I readied myself now as I feel
like a boss, like I feel like a better boss,
I feel like a better friend. I feel like I
know how to run a big operation, you know, because
(32:17):
mind you back to the pandemic thing. I blew up
in twenty twenty. In twenty nineteen, I had maybe four
crew members. I had one roadie, I had a tour
manager and two dancers. And then the world shut down
in twenty twenty and I blew up and I did
my first arena tour after being in isolation for two years.
And I'm suddenly standing in a room with seventy eighty
(32:37):
people that I'm like, I don't I want to know
everybody's names.
Speaker 4 (32:41):
That works for me.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
And it was really weird, and I got a crash
course and being an arena level artist, a big artist,
like after literally being an indie artist for ten years
and being in isolation for two years. So by the
time I was running arena level operation, I didn't have
no practice in that, I didn't have no experiences, and
(33:02):
I learned the hard way how to be a boss.
But I'm gonna be a better boss for it. And
I'm really proud of myself. Yeah, if you're on my payroll,
we're not going to the bar.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
We're not gonna have drinks together. You know what I'm
saying breakfast. But I got friends for that. I got
friends for that.
Speaker 6 (33:22):
Okay, I got two friends, my best friend Alexo Derilo
from Ace Town. Shout out Houston, Texas and shout out Chante.
Speaker 5 (33:33):
I knew what So what do you how do you
decide like what's for the stage or what's for the public,
and what's secret.
Speaker 6 (33:38):
Now hm hmm, there's a lot that's sacred. You know,
my my my parameter for what's for the world. If
you really love something, keep that shit a secret. If
you really love something, keep it a secret. If so,
there are things that I protect now that you know. Before,
(34:00):
I didn't think it of it as protection. I thought
of it as like, oh my gosh, like I'm keeping
something from my fans, I'm keeping something from the public,
Like I want you guys to see this, like you
should see this. Like I literally like the.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Term hard launched. That was me, you know, because I
was like, gosh, like love, like I want y'all to
see this. This is so beautiful.
Speaker 6 (34:22):
And then the world got two seconds of my relationship
and I was like, oh yeah, y'all know how to act.
Speaker 7 (34:30):
I literally just I was looking to see I'm like,
she ain't posted him in a minute.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
Y'all know how to act. You lost your privileges?
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Yeah, so all, yeah, all that cute ship, all that
black love back in the vaults.
Speaker 7 (34:46):
I mean, maybe I only saw the positive stuff because
I thought I saw a lot of people that I
was happy for you.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, but it was that bad.
Speaker 7 (34:55):
Because I was literally on my Instagram looking I'm like,
you know what minute people people.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Were really positive.
Speaker 6 (35:02):
This isn't about like people, I do think that, you know,
I don't want to give nobody an opportunity to destroy
something good. And I found that it wasn't really necessarily
about my relationship that people did that. It was other things,
my other relationships where that happened, And I was like,
(35:22):
I don't even want to give you the opportunity, no shade, like,
no disrespect. I love everybody, thank you for being so cool,
but due to new management. But in my personal life,
I have to I have to protect this because I
saw so much get destroyed by lies and I didn't
want that to happen to my relationships.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
So it's very protected. Yeah, nobody acted up.
Speaker 6 (35:45):
I don't want this clip to go out and people
being like, well, we didn't even say nothing wrong, Like,
because I know how the internet can be, they'll take
seven seconds and think that I'm saying something else.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
But it was more so out of it was preemptive,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
But I've then you said it right something youself.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Yeah, it's that's simple. Yeah. Do you have any tear
jerkers on love in real life? We do.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
There's one song in particular that niggas had to leave
a room.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
It ran out. I said, I'm sorry. I had like, oh,
I'm gonna get sad even though it's not. I mean,
sometimes I feel that I wrote it. I lost my dog.
I lost my dog and she was twenty years old.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Can you see she left the malties Yeah, And I
lost her like in the thick of it December twenty
twenty three, when I was like at my most depressed
and then she left and I was like, mind you
twenty years Like she like a grandma to me, you know,
And that really broke me down.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
And I wrote a song about it. But it wasn't
just about Hookah. She said. I sampled her voice on
the song, but it was a lost in general.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
You know.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
I lost my father very young, and so it was
a song about grief and death. And I was like,
don't put this on your album. Like I'm the happy girl,
I'm the positive spin and you know, I was like,
you know what, I owe it to myself, not just
to my fans or to myself to put a song
like this on my album.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
And so there is a moment in there.
Speaker 6 (37:25):
It's called Phone to Heaven, and so that's a little
tear jerker, and there are some really raw emotional songs
on there, like I got a song called like a Crime,
and I think that you can decide what that song
is about when you listen to it. I'm really excited
for this album because I feel like as an artist,
everybody got into my singles, but they never got into
(37:47):
my albums. And my albums are so good, yeah, and
they're so well thought out, and I really want the
album to shine this time and not just oh my God,
a number one hit about Damn Time, because it's like,
my album don't sound like special, doesn't sound like about
damn Time, and because I Love You didn't sound like
truth hurts, you know what I mean. There were so
(38:07):
many other songs that show off like and these songs did.
They show off my musical ability, but like I had,
I have such an amazing.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
Catalog I'm so proud of.
Speaker 6 (38:18):
So this time I want people to get into the album,
which is why I've been I've gone a little rogue,
you know, opposite of what the label once for me,
where I'm I'm service in music. I just dropped the
demo to U Steal Bad today. Actually, wow, look at
that timing. I dropped the demo to Steal Bad because
(38:39):
I like the demo more than the finished song. And
there's a there's an A and R process with music
that people might not be privy to, but you write
a song in a studio, the A and R comes
through and they go, okay, fix this, write this, rewrite this,
bridge the production needs to be more like this, and
you're like okay, and you sit in with the producer
(39:00):
and you work on it. And I've done that process,
Like About Damn Time took like seven months and there
were like a thousand versions. So it's still bad. We
did the same thing and by the time we were done,
was still bad. And this is this is this is
really how I feel, and I'm sorry to Atlantic Records.
But by the time I was done with Still Bad,
(39:22):
I was like, this is just another about Damn Time.
And I looked at Ricky Reid and I was like,
be real with me. I was like, does this sound
like About Damn Time? And he was like no, no,
and I'm like yeah, from a sonic level, it's different
instruments that take the lead. It's a different bpm, it's
a different key, it has it's more indie sleeves. And
I was like, I'm a trust y'all on this. I
(39:44):
started doing press and interviews for it, and everybody said, yeah,
it's like disco funk, It's like a disco funk, and
I'm like, no, it's not a disco funk song. Like
About Damn Time was disco funk. This is inde sleeves.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
But people don't fucking know that.
Speaker 6 (39:58):
They don't know the difference. Music is about feeling. Not
everybody a music major had studied the theory behind no.
They just want to feel it. And it felt like
About Damn Time. And I should have followed my gut.
But because for me, this album is rock and roll,
and the demo version of Steel Bad that I put out.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Is very rock and roll. No shade to the other
still bad.
Speaker 6 (40:22):
I'm gonna let people decide which one they like more,
because they both my babies.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
One is just cuter.
Speaker 5 (40:27):
People who listen to your music they know why you successful, right,
But then you have some people who feel like you
were only successful because at the time.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
People were checking off boxes.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
You're the black woman, you big, you know, diversity, all
of that type of stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
What do you say to those people?
Speaker 6 (40:42):
I would say that I created that lane. I don't
think people were looking for diversity. I was undeniable, and
that that created the trend of checking boxes. I don't
disagree that at a certain point we started checking boxes.
When it comes to checking a box of black, fat woman,
(41:02):
I'm a ride for that every time.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
I don't care.
Speaker 6 (41:04):
I'm rooting for everyone black, and I'm rooting for everyone fat,
black and woman.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
I don't care. You don't have to if you're.
Speaker 6 (41:10):
Not the most talented person in the world and you
got pushed through yay, because it happens to other people.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
All the time who don't look like that, and we
deserve it. Mm hmm. I am big. We talk about baby,
I'm big. I'm not the.
Speaker 6 (41:27):
Biggest, so now, okay, I'm in a room full of
people I trust.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
Right the internet is like Liz O skinny now I am.
I am well over two hundred pounds, you know what
I'm saying. I'm five ft nine.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
In a different direction.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
I got double numbered pants on right now. But you're
trying to be.
Speaker 7 (42:00):
No, okay, yeah, because I think you look amazing. I
think are you saying that you're bigger than what an
industry standard is because you're not. You are bigger than
what some people will determine the industry thing. But that
standard is like going, it's twenty twenty five people. I
don't even think that's next to any pop star right now,
Like I'm still bigger than them.
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (42:18):
You actually look normal compared to them. I'm just saying, oh,
I hear you. Yeah, you look normal compared to it.
But they look like.
Speaker 7 (42:26):
Yeah, and that's what I mean, Like twenty twenty five
people want to see people that look like them and
that Yeah. But is it because a lot of my
friends that I that I talk to that are on
weight loss journeys, they have like a body dysmorphia thing
where they're never in a.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Good place with themselves.
Speaker 7 (42:39):
Did you experience that or do you deal with that sometimes?
Speaker 4 (42:41):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (42:41):
I actually didn't realize how much my body changed until
I was filming the Love and Real Life music video.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
I was in shock.
Speaker 6 (42:52):
It shocked me because the way that I'm releasing Weight
has been a long, slow process, Like people maybe not
have seen me or been keeping up with me, but
I've been posting about it and I'm in a calorie deficit.
Speaker 4 (43:04):
So that's the one that sneaks up on you.
Speaker 6 (43:06):
If you're in a deficit, for so long it eventually
you're just you're just shedding like half a pound a week,
you know, And then you look up and if it's.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Been fifty two weeks, that adds up.
Speaker 6 (43:17):
So when I was filming Love in real life and
they put the outfit on me and I seen the
number size on the pants, I said, wait a minute,
hold on, Like, there's not a two in front of it.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
That's supposed to be a two right there. Why is
that a one?
Speaker 6 (43:33):
I was like, Okay, something has happened. You've crossed the threshold.
Your body has done the thing. So now it's about
controlling that and making sure that it doesn't get out
of control. Because my mind will keep going even though
my body is like, hey, we're good.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (43:50):
Because when I look in the mirror, I still see
me in twenty twenty three, I still see me at
a heavier weight. Thank God, I love myself because that's fine.
I think that people who really experienced the body dysmorphia
the most, they didn't like themselves at that size, and
when they look in the mirror and they see that person,
(44:11):
it's they get upset and it's not enough, and that's hard.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
But those people with the opposite that they missed that
weight because they were that weight for so long. Yeah,
and it feels like that's not them anymore, like they
miss that.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
Person and that I experienced that too. I'll say this.
Speaker 6 (44:28):
Only my big girls who have released some weight are
gonna understand this.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
How do I say this?
Speaker 6 (44:36):
I felt, I say this is what I was lot
of crazy.
Speaker 4 (44:42):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 6 (44:44):
When I was bigger, I felt skinny. I felt skinnier
than I do now.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
When I was bigger. I'm not gonna hold you.
Speaker 6 (44:50):
When I was in my string bikini and I was
at my heaviest weight, I was like, skinny, bitch. And
that's when I realized, like, thin is a feeling. It's
not a look, and so is fat. Fat is a
feeling Like you've ever been around somebody thin and she's like.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Ah, so fat, I feel so fat today Because it's
a feeling. It's not real, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (45:12):
Like society tries to tell you that it's real, and
the scale tries to tell you, but it's really how
you feel on the inside. So I felt skinnier then
than I do now.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Maybe I'm told.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
Because I get what you're saying, But if pounds, that's
more than just right.
Speaker 6 (45:30):
No, and let's be real, yes, like there is like
a science behind it, like you know, there is an
aesthetic to it.
Speaker 4 (45:37):
But I also think that.
Speaker 6 (45:38):
It We've seen where Jessica Simpson had on mom jeans
in two thousand and five and they were calling her
fat and she wasn't. So it gets misinterpreted in misconstrued
all the time. There are objective truths. You know, there
are people who are bigger, and I think that's and yeah,
we fat. I like calling myself fat.
Speaker 5 (45:58):
I think it's a race component too, though, because if
Justice Simpson was black back then you'd be like, she thick.
Speaker 6 (46:03):
You know, you're absolutely right. But that's a whole other conversation.
That's a ted talk we can get into. We can
get into that. I do want to racialization of beauty
standards and.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
How it was racist.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Let's talk about it.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
Wait, what was your question gonna be?
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Though?
Speaker 5 (46:17):
Well, I was going to ask you, you know, what
parts of your identity did the industry try to monetize
or there I say, even exploit before you even understood
it yourself.
Speaker 6 (46:27):
Yeah, I didn't know, because you know, I was being
myself and the industry is exploitative. That's that's its job.
Its job is to because I think it's an industry.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
There's car industries.
Speaker 6 (46:42):
They're you know, getting a product out there, and they'll
exploit the workers to do that, you know what I mean.
So for me, I don't look at it as a
negative thing. I know that word is so crazy, but
it's like I was being sold. I was being packaged,
marketed and sold for being my self and that was
a weird that was a strange thing. I can't imagine
(47:04):
people who have to fake their brand because that would
drive me insane. I would be like, yo, dude, I
don't want to do this shit. No mo, I don't
want to be happy. I don't want to play the flute.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
I don't want to be fat, you know what I mean.
But you said, when did I realize it? Damn? I
think maybe even now.
Speaker 6 (47:27):
I think when I'm starting to release weight, that's when
I realized it, because I remember I was. I was
talking to my trainer at the time and I was like, yeah,
I want to just like intentionally, like let go some weight,
like a little bit smaller.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
Da da da da da.
Speaker 6 (47:43):
And he was like, oh, I'm about to fuck up
your brand? And I was like wait what. I was
like what does that mean? And I had to think
about that for a while, like and then and that
was when I was heavier and you know, X amount
of pounds down. Later I saw the backlash. People were upset,
and I was like, wait, what's happening? And that was
(48:06):
what he was talking about, and two things are happening.
The industry packaged and sold me and my fatness and
my joy and all of that and marketed it to people.
People saw themselves in that, but they also were just
like I don't know.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
How do I say this?
Speaker 6 (48:27):
And being very respectful to my fans, because when it changed,
it was like you aren't that person, You're you're a liar.
Speaker 4 (48:37):
You know, you lie?
Speaker 6 (48:38):
That wasn't real. I was sold, wasn't real. It's like
I got the I got the package, I got the product,
and then it was like always always works, and then
it stopped working.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
If you were so proud of it, why would you right?
Speaker 4 (48:53):
And how do I say this?
Speaker 6 (48:56):
But there are all kinds of issues, like you know,
like health issues, yeah, like that can I'm along with
obesity and things like being fat, and it's like why
can't I want to, you know, why can't I do
this for y'all bring more awareness to that part of it,
and then we'd go on this journey together.
Speaker 4 (49:11):
Y'all, my fans, y'all. You know, I'll say the only
way I was able to.
Speaker 6 (49:17):
Do what I've done and changed my body was because
I loved myself. I've never done anything healthy or positive
to myself out of hatred. I've been smaller than this before,
and I was starving myself. I wasn't eating, and I
was the most unhappy in my entire life, and I
(49:38):
hated myself the most at my smallest, So you know
what I mean. Like, I've also been heavier, and I've
hated some of that too, and I've also loved some
of that. It's just like it's just not one thing.
There's like so much nuance, and it's like, I'm a
human being, you know what I mean, And I'm living
in this body. You don't have to live in my
(49:58):
body for the rest of your life. I have to
live in yours. And people, I'll tell you one thing
about me, I'm always on the right side of history.
People gonna look back and understand because what I'm doing now, Gosh,
people gonna think I'm full of myself. But what I'm
doing now is fucking revolutionary, and it's pushing body positive
positivity forward, not because I've gotten smaller, but the way
(50:22):
that I'm talking about my body changing. Because what people
don't realize is in twenty nineteen, when I was talking
about body positivity over twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, I
had gain fifty pounds and I was talking about that
experience and talking about body positivity and how I loved
myself through it all. And now when I'm on the
other end of that, I'm not changing my tune. And
(50:44):
I think that would be fraudulent if I all of
a sudden changed my tune and.
Speaker 4 (50:48):
Said, ah fuck that. Yeah, I hated it, Haha. I
hate it being being gotcha.
Speaker 6 (50:52):
You got bamboodle, bitch, run me like no, Like, I'm
going to be me through this entire process. And when
people look back on this, they'll be like, yeah, yeah,
she was right.
Speaker 5 (51:02):
That's why I started the interview off talking about your
mental health, and that's why I asked you the question
about confidence and healing, because you know, people can talk
all about the physical. The revolutionary thing about it to
me is what you have done spiritually and mentally.
Speaker 4 (51:14):
Yes, yeah, And it's a lot of work. And it's
a lot of work.
Speaker 6 (51:18):
And that's why I can say I am the best
version of myself right now.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
You know, there's people.
Speaker 6 (51:25):
Like I said, like I said, I when I was
younger and I had like very disordered eating and I
was like really depressed and I was like really hard
on my body. I was very small. There's people who
look back at old pictures of that time in their
life when they were small and like, oh god, I
want to look like that again.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Oh that was it, honey.
Speaker 6 (51:45):
If I could just go back to when I was nineteen,
I don't want to go back to her. That might
have been the worst version of myself sleeping in my
car and you know, going through it and running into
violent and dangerous situations. No, and not eating that that's
what Liz will be eating because you aren't.
Speaker 4 (52:08):
Baby.
Speaker 6 (52:09):
No, there's nothing cute about hurting yourself. There's nothing cute
about harming yourself. There's nothing cute about starving yourself. Like
and and now it's like, I am the best version
of myself, not because of how I look, even though
I may be heavier than I was and small, you know,
or heavy? What am I trying to say. I'm heavier
than I was when I was at my smallest, and
I'm smaller than I was and when I was at
(52:30):
my heaviest. But because I'm here, this is, this is,
this is what makes me the best version of myself.
And no matter how my body changes, I get pregnant,
I have a baby, my body gonna get bigger, my
body could get smaller.
Speaker 4 (52:43):
Who knows. This is what's together? This is you know
what I mean? And this is the most important part.
Speaker 6 (52:49):
And that's the part that I hope to my younger
fans and so people who follow me that they don't
just see my body changing and me being happy. I
hope they feel that it was mental work and it
was emotional work, and no matter how my body changes,
this is gonna be the most important thing to me.
Speaker 5 (53:05):
Do you have real joy? No, because it feels like
you were being joyful as a form of protests or
maybe a survival tactic.
Speaker 4 (53:13):
Maybe. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (53:18):
I think that black joy in any form is resistance
in this society, and I think it's radical in this society.
I think seeing it from someone who looks like me
is even more radical. And because of that, y'all don't
see me ninety eight percent of the time like y'all
(53:39):
see me two percent of the time. And why would
I be miserable when I'm doing what I love? When
y'all see me, I'm doing what I love. I'm either
on stage, I'm shooting a music video, I'm doing an interview.
I'm actually genuinely happy to be here, like I like
talking to y'all, you know. But then there's like a
whole other ninety eight percent where I may be in
(54:00):
a bad mood, or I may be you know, over it,
or you know, my stomach hurt, you know what I'm saying,
Like damn, Like I'm a human being, but that part
isn't shown to the world. But I do believe that
my joy is still a form of resistance, especially especially
right now, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (54:21):
Where I mean always, we're in a system that doesn't
want to see us joyful, you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (54:26):
They police our joys so much, and I think that
my mission. I think everybody has different missions, you know,
to help us, But right now, my mission is how
do I help people find a community that brings them joy?
Speaker 4 (54:39):
Because that's powerful.
Speaker 7 (54:41):
I want to go back to the conversation that we
almost got into about the black beauty standard and the
difference with you being in the space that you're in.
I remember it was a long time ago, Jillian Michaels.
She came out and said something that the weight loss lady,
and people defended you so gravely because they felt like
she wouldn't have said certain things if you weren't a
black woman this way. I mean it was she talked about.
(55:03):
She basically said, why are we defending her weight? It's
not healthy? Is it going to be funny when she
gets diabetes? And she just went down the list and
people were like, well, hey, you're bringing out all the
things that happened to the black community more predominantly, so
they thought it was a race thing. And that conversation
happens a lot around you. When people try to attack you.
People feel like, if you weren't a black woman that
was doing I mean, yeah, if you weren't a black
(55:24):
woman doing these things, you would have a little bit
more grace or be propped up a bit more.
Speaker 4 (55:28):
Do you feel like that.
Speaker 6 (55:29):
You know whose voice I listened to the less when
they have comments about me is celebrities. I really, I
never I don't care about other celebrities opinions on me,
you know what I mean. It's interesting because it's like
I care more about what my fans say about me
and think about me that matters. I never hear these
little trivial comments, and I only hear the apologies, you know.
(55:55):
But I will say, somebody's health is none of your business,
and I've always been on that, And it's like, we
only pretend to care about people's fat people's health so
we could be fat phobic to them. It's, you know,
being fat is the only acceptable form of bullying in
(56:17):
our society, if you think about it. We're taught from
kids from a young age to make fun of fat people.
Speaker 4 (56:22):
You watch TV and the fat dude, he's like, oh,
and then he falls over.
Speaker 6 (56:27):
Trying to tie his shoe, and the kids are like,
you know, and you laugh in front of your parents.
Speaker 3 (56:31):
Your parents laughing too.
Speaker 6 (56:35):
But if it was anything else, your parents would be like,
don't laugh at that, you know what I mean. So
we are socialized to make fun of fat people, and
I think that some people pretend to care about fat
people's health to just make fun of them, you know,
in a weird backwards backwards ass way. I will have
so many things to say about this, but a lot
(56:58):
of people and I'm not gonna say this is not
a blanket statement, because I am actually terrible, and I
make a lot of blanket statements in the internet.
Speaker 4 (57:04):
Gets to my ass for.
Speaker 6 (57:05):
It, I'm gonna say, systemically, in America, the majority of
fatness is due to things that are kind of out
of your control. Our food system is abysmal. Our food
system has so many invisible additives that have so much
(57:29):
sugar and caloric density and toxins, and it is it is.
How do I say this without getting political? I don't
want to sound like RFK, but like it's poisoning us
and in our communities too, in black communities at a
disproportionate level. There are food deserts, and the only the
(57:50):
only uh.
Speaker 4 (57:51):
What's it called? Uh? What's what's it called?
Speaker 6 (57:54):
In the middle of a desert when it's like green,
the only thank y'all, come on, smart man. The only
oasis in the food desert is fast food, is snack, food,
is hot cheetos, It's bread forty d D D D.
So when I was a kid, I grew up in Houston, Texas.
A shout out to SWAT. I was in band rehearsal,
and when I got thirsty, I drank sprite. I would
(58:16):
chug this sprite and be like, oh, I'm so thirsty.
Oh my hot cheetos. Every day at lunch and then
our lunch, you're not gonna get a salad or a protein.
At school, at public school lunch, it was chick and tenders.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
It was.
Speaker 4 (58:33):
Cheese, stuffed bread, whatever that was. I don't know what
the fuck that was. It was good, it was good.
And so like, this is what we've been given.
Speaker 6 (58:42):
You know, a lot of people's fatness is genetic, you
know what I'm saying. So it's like and then there
are people who, like, you know, we contend to overeat
and stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (58:51):
I'm not talking about that.
Speaker 6 (58:52):
I'm not making a blanking statement about it, but I'm
like a lot of it is out of our control.
Speaker 5 (58:56):
Back here in social media too, because people aren't the
activist they used to be so back in the day.
Speaker 3 (58:59):
We play social media.
Speaker 6 (59:05):
So it's like to sit up and just like criticize
somebody for being like, hey, this is how I look
right now, and you know what despite all odds, I'm
okay with that.
Speaker 4 (59:17):
That don't mean that I'm like, you know, being fat
is it? Everyone should be fat? No, it's just like, damn,
can a bitch like herself right now? Depressed? Right? And
if my body changes cool? If I get bigger, that's
none of your fucking business. If I get smaller, that's
none of your fucking business.
Speaker 6 (59:35):
But can I like myself right now so I can
get through the day like you think, if I sit
and go I hate myself. Let me just change and
be skinny? Now, No, that's not how it works. So
it's like, y'all want us to be miserable, but for
what Because once I get small, you still not happy.
So it's like, shut the fuck up, disrespectfully.
Speaker 3 (59:55):
I like that.
Speaker 7 (59:58):
Just for fairness of a conversation. She did, But the
U turn because the people jumped on her. She said,
I should have separated her from the conversation.
Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
It's a that in there. But your point, by the way,
exactly I was gonna say. You called it because it's never.
Speaker 6 (01:00:10):
Been pre diabetic and this is not me flexing my
health over nobody. But this is just me saving the facts.
Don't ever put diabetes on me, I've never been pre diabetic.
My father had type two diabetes, and it's like and
when he passed away, I had from a young age.
Speaker 4 (01:00:25):
She passed away when I.
Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
Was nineteen twenty actually, oh my gosh, it was so
long ago, but actually I'm twenty two. But when that
happened to him, because he had hypertension and high blood
pressure and type two from his eating habits. I have
always been a healthy person. Even though I was physically larger,
(01:00:47):
I was very conscious about what I put in my body.
Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
I was very active. I would post.
Speaker 6 (01:00:51):
Videos of me in the gym, running on a treadmill,
lifting heavyweights. People would buy tickets to my show where
I'm on stage for two hours, running back and forth
playing the flute, doing choreography, rapping and singing an emoting
and not being out of breath. Like I've always been
a very active person. I'm always be a very healthy person. Yeah,
never been pre diabetic. Honey, mind your business. That's between
(01:01:12):
me and my doctor. And I'll get her on the
phone too.
Speaker 4 (01:01:14):
She loved to talk.
Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
She takes a sugar drink.
Speaker 6 (01:01:19):
No, no, I'm glad you said that. This is a
this is a black coffee. And then I put in
half a vanilla protein shake, so actually there's no sugar
in this. It's it's because it's half of it. It's
about ten grands of protein and the coffee is black.
There's no sugar in this at all.
Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Shut up business.
Speaker 5 (01:01:41):
Like I said, I got one last question because Lauren's
stomach is overhead.
Speaker 7 (01:01:45):
And crazy last night and like I'm literally just coming
down from all the last night I went to drink.
Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
It was so good, So over.
Speaker 5 (01:01:57):
Here holding my stomach, boys crowding. But my last question,
is there a version of lizzle we haven't seen yet?
Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
And are you afraid to shure?
Speaker 6 (01:02:08):
I'm not afraid, but I am protective. I think protection
can be fear based. Sometimes a lot of people, like
a protective mother is like, oh I'm afraid something might
happen to my child. Let me be overly protective. So
sometimes there's a like if y'all saw how I really
you know am? Sometimes like when I'm working, I feel
(01:02:32):
like people wouldn't understand, and it's like because I'm a
very hard worker, I actually am.
Speaker 4 (01:02:39):
Like ask anybody in this industry.
Speaker 6 (01:02:41):
They're like, she wanted the hardest working, And I think
the because I'm fat like the trope of oh she
lazy or whatever comes in and I get that put
on me, and so people don't put me in the
category of the hardworking divas that we all know and
love today. But I work very hard, and I don't
show that side because you get to just enjoy the show,
(01:03:06):
you get to just enjoy the product. But though I
work hard, I'm very kind to the people who I
work with. I'm very measured, I'm very fair. But it
gets real, it gets real, And that's why I like
that whole doughchy situation.
Speaker 4 (01:03:22):
I have to.
Speaker 6 (01:03:23):
I have to, like nobody knows what it feels like
to be in a situation like that where it's so
intense and the it's your first met and you are
trying to do your best, and it's like to judge
black women for working hard. I don't like this new
this this new I don't know what it is, this
new misconception or misperception of black women who are working
(01:03:45):
hard for what they want where it's getting demonized, you
know what I mean? And what I also have been
seeing is us as a community stand up for the
black women who are in this field, Like there's not
a lot of us really at the top of this game,
and it's like, we really have to work seven thousand
times harder than our counterparts to get shit done.
Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
And we're working actively against the system of people, you know,
and then.
Speaker 6 (01:04:13):
The the things that get projected on us, you know,
the personalities that get projected on us like that.
Speaker 4 (01:04:22):
We have to overcome that too and subvert that.
Speaker 6 (01:04:25):
So it's like, yeah, you don't see the hard working
side of me, But I gets busy. My hairstyle is
back there like bitch me and my agent like when
do you stop? He like, I work with my other clients.
I at least have a time to go get a cocktail.
Speaker 4 (01:04:40):
You.
Speaker 6 (01:04:41):
I've been working NonStop since I got here. I've been
doing radio interviews. I did the met, I shot a
music video after the met that night and still managed
to change my outfit and go to the after parties
and turn up. Then I had radio the next morning.
Then I turned up again. I did had radio yesterday.
I have a cover shot, a cover sh yesterday. I
gotta cover shoot today. I'm out here working.
Speaker 3 (01:05:02):
And came in here with the best energy.
Speaker 6 (01:05:04):
You don't really tired. You didn't sound tired. We didn't
know I didn't know you were tired til you said it.
You know, I got a show. I got two shows,
all in New York. And it's just like, because I
love this shit, I loved I love to work, But
I'm not gonna pull back the curtain and show. There's
other artists who do that, Like Beyonce pulls back the
curtain for us, and we see her work ethic and
(01:05:24):
I respect that and I love that, and I'm like,
exactly when I see how she works when she put
that black hoodie on, I'm like exactly, because that's how
the fuck I get down too, down to the lighting,
down to the timing, down to the sounds and the
sonics of the music. We put that fucking work in
and the and we don't show y'all because you're gonna say, oh,
she's a bitch, like black women, especially, oh she's a bitch.
(01:05:45):
So it's like, we don't even want to show y'all
because y'all are gonna judge us.
Speaker 4 (01:05:48):
But we need.
Speaker 6 (01:05:49):
But I love when Beyonce does it because it puts
respect on it.
Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
That's how we get down.
Speaker 6 (01:05:54):
So that that part, I'm not gonna pull back the
curtain because I already got enough falligations against me.
Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Let's keep Let's go to a record, man, let's go
to a record. Let's get into it right now. New singles,
Still bad.
Speaker 4 (01:06:07):
Still bad? Which one are you playing? You're playing the
disco version?
Speaker 6 (01:06:11):
Now?
Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Which one you want to?
Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
I love key, wish I could play Bitch? Can you do?
Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Y'all have bitch? Can we get bitch? We got bitch?
Speaker 4 (01:06:19):
All right?
Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
Thank you, Thank you for the conversation. To keep doing
the work.
Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
Man.
Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
I love to see you blow up mind, body and spirit.
Speaker 4 (01:06:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:06:28):
Listen to you.
Speaker 2 (01:06:30):
It's the breakfast Club.
Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 3 (01:06:34):
The Breakfast Club.