November 26, 2025 • 36 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hold up every day up waiting clicks up the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You all finish for y'all done?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Morning, everybody in stej Envy Jess, hilarious, Charlamagne, the gud
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
in the building.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yes, indeed we having Nicole Bell.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Welcome, Good morning. Are you feeling this morning?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I'm feeling great, glad to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
We got a new movie after Shocked and the Cold
Pete Bell Story. What you're being in theaters November twenty
eight When you decided to tell this story through film?
What truth did you feel America still didn't understand about
what happened?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I think America doesn't understand what the families really go
through behind the scenes. For me, I was twenty two
years old, Sean was only twenty three when he was killed,
and we had two small daughters. My daughters at the
time were baby girls. So going through the years of
fighting for justice the levels of government, state trial, federal investigation,
(01:00):
our mental hearings, civil and then reforms. Fighting for reforms
that takes a toll. And as a twenty two year
old young woman surrounded by the nation who supported us,
my family, the community it was. That's what really empowered
me to move forward. And what I think a lot
(01:20):
of people need to understand is that many people want
to tell their stories. People want their stories heard, and
we don't really know how what outlet. But I'm blessed
to get a chance to meet people like Manny and
give us the opportunity to put this real life story
now on screens for people to see and see what
really happened behind the scenes.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
If you don't mind, I want to go back a
little bit. Yeah, if you don't mind. And the reason
being is after watching a movie. I'm from Queens, so
you lived it, but you just forget, right with everything
going on in the world, you forget the ends, the
outs and the details and you just assume right like
I'm not even gonna lie. I forgot the cops gotta
quit it like you. You forget so many things.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So, hello, it's been over twenty years, so.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
This year, this tomorrow makes nineteen years.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
So for people that don't know the Sean Bell story,
just break it down a little bit. You guys were
high school sweethearts. Yeah, you were about to get married,
and I'll let you go.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
From so yes, So Shawn and I both went to
John Adams High School in Ozone Park, Queens. We're from
Queen's South Side, Jamaica, Queens, so we met there. Sean
played baseball, we met, we dated just like everyone else.
After school, Sean went on too Nashville Community College. He
played baseball for a little there. When I graduated, we
(02:44):
kind of went straight into building a family. I was
a young mom and after the birth of my second daughter,
Sean had surprised me with a ring and it was
Christmas Day, all the family, we were all together sitting
by the tree. He had a yeah, giving me a shoebox, right,
(03:04):
and I thought, oh, it was another pair of shoes
because he had bought me shoes before. I didn't really
like the shoes that he bought me last time, but
he bought me these shoes and I was like, Okay,
we got another pair of shoes coming. I opened up
the shoebox. Inside the shoe box was a watchbox. I
was like, Oh, surprise, I got to watch open up
the watchbox. In the watchbox was a ring box. And
(03:25):
that was the day that, you know, we decided to
get married. So we hadn't made any plans, maybe about
a year or so it had passed, and then at
that point our daughters were Jada was three and a
half almost four, and Jordan was just born, so she
was about five months old. So sometime in November of
(03:46):
six early November, he had sat me down. He's like
the one day he came home, He's like, hey, come,
let's sit down and talk. We were living in far
Rockaway at the time, and I was kind of nervous,
not sure what he wanted to talk about, because he
wasn't to come sit down and talk to me, the
type of person it was just like he would say
what it is. But he had talked to his mom,
(04:09):
he had talked to my mom, he had talked to
the pastors, and he had planned the wedding. My best
friends knew, and I was just shocked that I didn't know. No,
I hadn't find out, you know. I was kind of
feeling like, how could y'all keep this secret for me?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That's one of the most stressful things ever planning a wed.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
What And he had it, he had the church, he
had The only thing he couldn't do was get my dress.
And that's what my best friend told me. His mother
told me, like it was like, you cannot buy her
dress for her, y'all. He gotta let her pick out
our dress. So that time, that point in my life,
it was really the happiest point in my life. And
it was two weeks before the due date. So we
(04:46):
had celebrated November twenty third as our anniversary, and he
was like, we're gonna do it on the twenty fifth.
It was the weekend. The family's gonna fly in. I mean,
they had everything together and I went then. So the
the eve of the twenty fourth, I went for my
bachelorette party my mom's house. We did like a little
small intimate bridal shower, and then he went out with
(05:08):
some of the guys from the neighborhood. My brother in
law was there and his father muse them. And at
some point during the night I got a call it
was early morning, like four am at this point on
the wedding day, that something happened and we needed to
get to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Now when that happened, breakdown because the police tried to lie. Right,
It was so many different stories, and like I said,
after watching the movie, you go down this rabbit hole
of google, right, and then you start remembering all the
lies that they did and just trying to break his
character and all that without going too much because some
of it's in the movie, some of it's not breakdown
how the family took that, because, hey, you got a
(05:48):
young man that did everything right. He went to school,
he got his degree, he was working, he had a
couple of jobs. But now you got the city or
the police officers trying to break his spirit. How did
the family feel during that time?
Speaker 4 (06:02):
It was devastating. It was devastating for his parents. It
was devastating for me. I had to kind of like
isolate myself from like things like social media and I
couldn't read the comments things like that. It was just
kind of getting out of hand. But it was completely
devastating because we were like just in shock, you know,
and a lot of pain mentally. And then there were
(06:22):
stories coming out like the fourth Man. There's a fourth Man.
They came out right away with that one, and then
it disappeared right away. It went away, and there was
just a whole smear campaign. And I had come to
find out just by my attorneys and the leaders like
Reverend Sharpton and people who are around me, like this
is what happens when and some people are killed by
(06:44):
police officers every day, which is.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Crazy because you couldn't even grieve. I'm sitting there and
you trying to grieve. You have these young kids, but
then you're trying to protect the name, and it's like,
could you even grieve during that time?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
So I went straight into getting active and so the
next day we went to a rally. Day after that,
you know, we did a march, and then after the funeral,
it was just like, now it's time to you know,
let people know, shine of light on exactly what's happening.
So no, grieving didn't happen right away, and I would
(07:19):
go home and cry, you know, I'd come out and
you know, make it, you know, look as good as
it needs to be. But behind the scenes, I was
a mess, you know, I was a wreck. And my
family really formed like this barrier around me to protect
me and help me with the girls. They were so young,
and that was really that was the whole program. From
(07:40):
that point on. Everywhere I went, I was kind of
surrounded by somebody who was from the family or someone
who was there to kind of you know, act as like,
all right, if I have to step in and help
you know we're going to do that. But I tell
people all the time, you know, like there's no specific
order in which you grieve. You know. For me, going
through this film and also working on a book, it
(08:01):
brings back every thought, every memory. There's been times when
even recently, I've lost sleep and I had to get
back into therapy, you know and speak to a therapist.
But I'm so grieving. I mean, you got to grieve
and keep it moving, and that's really what That's what
it was about back then.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
How did your understanding of grief change over the years,
Like once the cameras disappeared and life just kept moving.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, yeah, so you know it's like we're living this,
you know, once the cameras leave and the smoke clears,
this is still my life. This is still and I
still have to find a way to take care of
my daughters. I still have to find a way to work.
I still have to find a way to you know,
keep his memory alive and do all these things at
the same time. So, I mean my understanding of it was,
(08:48):
you know, we just got to keep it moving. I
have to keep going forward, Like I don't know where
this is going, but I know I'm going to keep
pushing forward, and I know eventually we'll get somewhere. And
that's all it was for me, just keep going, like
I can't think about what's going to happen next month,
but I'm going to take it one day at a time.
And that's really what it's about. It's just pushing forward.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What's something people assume gets easier with time but actually
becomes more difficult.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I think even this, you know, this conversation here, Yeah,
I think people think you know that, Hey, you know,
maybe you're far removed from it by now, but it's
it's an ongoing thing. Like I just recently, I was
on the phone with my therapist just bawling, you know,
like you know, we everyone you know thinks of this
(09:35):
whole term, like you know, being strong, and you know,
but there's so many ways to look at, you know,
how what that means, and so we get blinded by it,
like I have to be strong. I have to be strong,
But strong is like just one day. Strong might be
just getting out of bed one day. The next day,
strong might be sitting here on a radio station. It
looks different, and to me, that's the way I identify
(09:56):
what like moving forward is and how grief works. There's
no specific order in which that happens and how it comes.
So I mean, and then my daughters, you know, I
can't be far removed from it because my girls are
every day, you know, a part of him. And my
daughters they deal with it in different ways, you know,
(10:16):
from when they were younger, and you know.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Till now. Now, how was that raising those young queens
because I remember when it happened, right, my dad, who
was a retired police officer, did not want me out, right,
he already didn't want me out. Yeah, you know, it
was always like you got to come home, you got
to drive, and the streets during that time was real dangerous.
So I could imagine the anxiety of every day your
(10:41):
daughter just wanting to leave, to go anywhere. So how
was that?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Absolutely? I mean, there were talks that you know, if
there's ever you know, if you're ever approached, you know
by a police officer, like remain calm, just you know,
let me handle that. You know, you get as much
information as you can and let me handle that. But
it was terrifying for one, but not just for them,
you know, for for anyone I loved, you know, I
was worried about my dad. I was worried about you know,
(11:05):
my brother in laws, the men in my life. You know,
just not sure about what's going to happen. But it
was bad back then, and people who supported us were targeted,
you know after, you know, for supporting us. I learned
that from you know, elected officials. I learned that from
artists who support us. And it was bad. It was
really bad, and that was so important. That's why it
(11:27):
was so important for me to show people the human side,
like this is who we are, this is who he was,
and this is the family and that's still what it
is even till this day.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Let's stay there for saying, what parts of Sean's life
and character did you want this film to reclaim from
like all the media natives.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
So I need people just to know that, you know,
Sean was just like you know you and you dj
envy like. He was a person who like loved his woman,
he loved his family, he loved his mom, his dad.
He wasn't a person who had many close friends. The
friends that he was very selective about who he considered
his friends and the ones who were you know, his friends.
(12:12):
He would take care of him on his bachelor party night.
He was driving his friends, like he was driving the
guys from the neighborhood in my car. So this is
who Sean was. He wasn't you know, a person that's like,
you know, just not you know, or I guess what
(12:33):
the narrative was being pushed out at some points. If
it wasn't for the family, and if it wasn't for
like the advocates and everyone who stood up, like, I
don't know what the image would have been. But for us,
it was important to just show people who he was, like,
this is who he is. He worked, he had jobs,
you know, he he loved to surprise me, like he
(12:54):
had planned a surprise wedding all by himself and pulled
in the family. He this is who he was. This
was the guy was, And it was just made into
this big, you know thing because there were fifty shots
fired by the police officers. That's really at the bottom line,
that's what it was. It was the fifty shots that
were fired by the police officers on our wedding day,
and that was how big it was. That was that
(13:17):
was what made it like sensationalized. But Sean was just
like you and me, Like he was just like any
other person. There was nothing any different, and he was
human like, he was a human. He wasn't just a hashtag.
He wasn't just a name. You know. That's you know,
it's not just a headline. It's a family behind us,
and it's a family was grieving.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
What made you come up with the title after Shock?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
That's production. I don't think. I didn't really care about it.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, I just found it interesting, Like you know what,
I want to know, why was it important for you
to tell that story, like the years long impact of
the trauma, because I think that's something that people don't
think about.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, well that that itself, Absolutely, that is a thing.
And that was part of the reason why I wanted
to push forward with the project is because I think
the movie shows a timeframe of like six to twenty
twenty one, and that's a huge part of my life,
you know, And it's it's almost two decades that we're
(14:18):
talking about of trying to keep his memory alive. But
these families are going through every day, Like there's so
many families like mine, and I know them, and I
just hope that this project will like encourage other families
to tell your stories. There's other ways that we can
get the word out. There's other ways that we can
show people, like we didn't receive the justice that we
(14:39):
were looking for, and really, accountability would have been that
in this case, I mean, justice would have been him
still being here. But accountability is what we were looking for.
So this is us holding them accountable.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I wanted to know, like when they were when they
were acquitted, did any of those officers apologize?
Speaker 4 (14:58):
There was a public statement that was issued, It wasn't
really directed towards me in the during the court room.
It was very like blatant that you know, they weren't
willing to apologize. After they were acquitted, there was like
a public statement at their press conference, but that was it.
It was nothing personal.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do we know what happened to those officers? Did they
lose their jobs? Do we know did they get shipped
to another precinct? Do we know at all or not?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
So? The the officer who followed who fired their initial shots,
he was terminated. The rest of them, I believe they
were allowed to retire with benefits.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Yeah, So I don't know where their life is at
this point, and you know, really I just hope that
they understand, like the weight of what they left behind
and what their actions did that night, and how generally, generationally,
how that affects not just me, not just mister and
missus Bell, but where now, you know, raising my kids
(15:55):
in that and I'm just My goal was to make
them strong, make them normal, normal girls you know who
can blend in. And I'm blessed to be able to
say that's the case today. You know, my oldest daughter,
she's like doing her thing, working and has her own apartment.
Jordan's at Howard University, and they're just independent young women
(16:16):
and I'm so proud. They're like my best friends. They
keep me strong when I feel weak, and vice versa.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
One one about the cops, Yeah, I remember one thing
that bothered especially the community and queens, was that when
it first happened, people automatically thought there was going to
be a bunch of white cops and it was racist.
That was a bunch of it was I think one
white cop, and it was minorities. How did that feel,
because you know, you really want to feel like at
least somebody that looks like me understands, right, How did
(16:45):
that feel during that time? And was that a thing
back then?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
And yeah, that was insane, and I think I even
heard that. You know, people like, well they how did
you know it was cops? They were you know, they
were white. Like okay, guys, y'all got to pay attention
to read the story. This is not that's not what happened.
Because growing up in South Jamaica, queens like you know
about stopping first. You see that, You see detectives jumping
out on people. You see you know, the marked cars.
You know what the culture was back then, So we're
(17:13):
all aware of it. We're hyper. Like when he arrived
at the bachelor party, he was pulled over by blue
and white, a marked car. He wasn't even given the ticket.
I found out this information during the trial. I didn't
even know that. So when he was parking to get
to the bachelor party, he was pulled over, they didn't
even give him a ticket. They sai already have a
good day. Why'd you stop him? When he was leaving,
(17:34):
he was encountered by the cop who was at the
club under you know, investigating the club. So it was
just the community in itself was policed in a way
that just wasn't there to protect, you know, the people
who are from the neighborhood. The people who live here, like,
we go to school here, we work our jobs here
(17:55):
in the neighborhood was shot up. There were homes that
were shot you know, fifty one went into the air
train above Edja Maka station and nobody was held accountable
for that. And that's really part of the reason that
fuels me because with all that devastation, what was the outcome?
(18:16):
And you know, and I don't know what's going to
come next, but all I know is, you know, just
this is the same message we're going to keep pushing forward.
There are so many victims who need to be encouraged
to tell their stories, and they want to be encouraged
to tell their stories. They don't they're not sure how.
And I just hope that, you know, this project makes
everybody proud.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
And I want to go back to your daughters, like,
how did you protect your daughter's emotional world while the
country was just discussing your family is just a political case.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Yeah, because they were watching Disney and Nickelodeon. They were
doing what kids do. They were going to dance school,
they were you know, playing sports. They were not involved
in that. And when they were small, I would take
them to the rallies and stuff. But once they were
old enough to kind of articulate what's going on, you know,
wouldn't make sure they were either were grandma or they
were you know, busy doing something else, and just kept
(19:05):
them focused on what do you want to do? Like,
what do you what do you want to become? We're
going to make you the you know, the best. You know,
whatever it is you want to do, hair you want
to do, make it, whatever it is you want to
become a lawyer, You're going to be the best at it.
And I think that's where my with my girls, it
was just important that I keep them normal, like, you know,
don't I don't read the comments, so I'm not going
(19:26):
to introduce them, you know what.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
About because when the movie comes out, yeah, you know,
start that whole conversation all over the world.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
So we we we do a lot in private. You know,
we we are very tight. We are very close. My
girls are very close to his parents. We we keep it,
you know, really tight. So we've watched it together in private,
and my girls had a lot of questions and there
were things that they didn't even know that after watching it,
(19:55):
you know, I'll get calls like, hey, mom, what did
this mean? You know what was that about? And I
can you know, just remember being twenty two and losing
him and thinking like, oh my god, how am I
gonna explain this to them? One day? And the one
day is here and now I'm here and we're having
these deep conversations. But now I'm ready to have the
(20:16):
conversations because if I had tried to do this nineteen
years ago, I don't think I would have made it.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You didn't You didn't even have an understanding of it.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Absolutely, I did not have an understanding of it. Now,
even though the grief, you know, is still there and
I'm working with a therapist and you know, we're dealing
with the reality of it. It is. It's just a
matter of it being like a story that is important
to our culture. It's important to our history. And long
(20:47):
after I'm gone, after shock is going to be here.
And that's what my goal is, just to create something
that will last. And you know, we can, you know,
we can hope that you know, this will make history.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Who stood up for you back then? You know, we've
seen River now and we heard about jay Z who
stood up for the community back then when you needed
it the most right. You support people, you support local
people who stood up for you during that time. Anybody.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
I mean during that time, there was like you said,
Rever Now, there was a lot of people at NAN.
National Action Network was a big deal everyone you know,
in my community, there were a lot of elect every
elected official you could think of, like some of my
friends now who are now in politics, like the Queensborough
(21:36):
President Donovan Richards and people like Timika Mallory from Nan. Yeah,
and these are the people now, right, who are who've
come from that Sean Bell era and who marched like
under Reverend now Sharpton, and now they're the leaders of
the time and saying, hey, this is what we need
to do because this is what happened in the past.
So those are some of the people, I mean even
(21:57):
right now, like Angela Ride that's my girl. I text
Angela right now and she'll give me some you know,
great advice, or like hey, Nicole, you need to check this.
You know my attorney, you know, like female black female attorneys.
I'm surrounded by wonderful people that I can call when
I'm in need. And I think back then it was
(22:21):
the same. You know, there wasn't much of the female presence.
It was more of like the politicians. It was like
the revenue Sharpton. But I think everyone recognized that. That's
that's why you've had like the Mother's movement who came out.
Everyone recognized that, right, Sabrina Fulton and Gwen Carr, Eric
Gardner's mother, like the movements that came from it, because
(22:43):
it was more of like, this is a political thing,
and it's like, oh, how is it political? You know,
we're not politicians, but you know, because of the you know,
the police officers, they deemed it as political. But I
think the most magnificent thing of that is that all
of the lives that were affected back then and all
the greatness that came from it, all of everyone whose
(23:04):
lives were affected said, hey, you know, because of what
happened to Sean, that's the reason why I became this
And that means a lot to me.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
That means JZ did start a trust fund.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Right he did? Yes? He did? Yeah? Yeah, college fund
for my girls.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Yeah that was that was back in eight Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Is there a moment public are private that best represents
the emotional aftershock of losing Sean?
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Public or private? I think that first ever march that
happened in six down Fifth Avenue, it was massive, right,
I didn't even know the gravity of how many people
were affected by it. I thought it was just us.
(23:56):
And then that first ever march that I attended down
Fifth Avenue, it was crazy. I mean, we were ending
the march miles down and we could see all the
way back the streets were filled with people. People were outraged.
They were outraged like it was their family member. And
(24:19):
I think that's what moved me to say, oh wow,
I'm not alone here. I felt like I was on
the island, like there was no one who could ever
relate to what I had gone through losing him on
my wedding day in that way. But even though you know,
these people didn't lose him that way, everyone was affected,
everyone was outraged, and then still there was no justice.
(24:42):
And I think that's also a part that defines, you know,
what we're dealing with here, is that no matter how
the amount of people, the amount of outrage, the the
amount of shots, there was still no conviction there. You know,
what are we going to do with that?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
You believe in the system. After that, I lost.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
My faith in the system. After I'm gonna be honest
with you, I really did. And now you see family
since then who've gone through similar things, and it's the
steps that we have to take as family members, and
you got to go through these measures just to get somewhere.
And it's just like we're walking down the same line.
Everyone's walking down the same line looking for a different outcome.
(25:27):
And listen, you know, I sat back and kind of watched,
you know, families go through this. It's painful for everyone
to think, you know, okay, this is it, this is
the time, and then it's the same outcome. We're just
watching this whole thing just over and over, just like
a vicious cycle. And for me, I mean, Zora Neil
(25:48):
Hurston said, if you don't talk about your pain, they'll
kill you and think and say you enjoyed it. And
that's what aftershock is about. We're talking about our pain
here and this so many people who are in pain,
and people who down the line in future might be
in pain. But this is the story for all of us.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
How did advocating for justice reshape your identity as a woman,
a mother.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And a leader?
Speaker 4 (26:16):
How did advocating for justice so I feel that it
empowered me? It defined you know who I am. It
really helps kind of give me that strength to push
me forward. I learned a lot about myself. I learned
a lot about our community. But advocacy, it's just a
never ending thing. It's not something that you can do
(26:39):
and turn it off. You know. There's always something to
advocate for it, There's always something that needs change. So
I feel that the advocacy in itself, it kind of
defined me as a woman, and it made me feel
really like badass.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Really, yeah, I was gonna say, what message did you
want to say into the world by forgiven the police
officers that shot or did you even forgive me?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
I was going to actually would you read that? I
was gonna, actually, where did you see that? So I
don't think I've reached that place because I was there
and I've witnessed them in real time how they felt
(27:27):
and like during the trial, how they would pass notes
and make jokes. This was like almost like a board game,
you know, and we were devastated, you know, And it
takes a lot to say I am forgiven. I have
to keep it real with y'all, and I have to
I have to always keep it real. I haven't forgave.
I can say I'm at peace, but no, I haven't forgiven.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I'm not a forgiving person either. Certain things I just
don't understand. And he tried to talk to but it's
just certain things I just can't forgive. And yeah, is
what it is.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
If I had maybe that point in life, if I
had maybe picked up a hint of remorse somewhere maybe,
but I didn't, So I can't put that on them
if that's not how they feel. And that's okay, because
you know, I'll find my way and my girls will
be We're gonna you know, we're gonna make it. We're
gonna be strong. We're gonna support his mom, we're gonna
support his dad. Like where we're going to be. You know,
(28:23):
we're gonna be okay. But as far as forgiveness, now,
my therapist.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Told me last week, you know, if somebody has done
you wrong and you feel like they've harmed you, it
is perfectly healthy to say fuck them.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I love that therapist. No, that's how I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
That's that's an emotion, that's your feeling.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Who is who are you now compared to who you
were before? November twenty fIF thousand.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Oh man, who am I now compared to her? I mean,
right now, it's wow. I mean I don't know if
I can find the words for it, but I think
there's really I feel unstoppable. I'm gonna be honest with you.
I feel like this is something that has prepared me
(29:11):
for a life I never had planned. I was just
looking forward to getting married to Sean, and you know,
the love that we have for each other, the love
he had for our girls, that's really what fueled me.
And when they took that from me, it was it
was extremely personal, you know that they did this, and
(29:33):
it kind of made me look at you know, life differently,
Absolutely look at life differently, cherishing you know, our loved ones,
loving on everybody around you, appreciating life Like I'm not
a person who complains a lot. I'm not a person
who takes things for granted. I find the greatness and
everything and losing Sean, the struggle that we had, all
(29:55):
of that has made me this person.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Now, why and when did you decide to do this movie? Like?
What was the thing that like? It's time now?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So I met Manny Hally back in twenty seventeen, and
I had a conversation with him that he had, my
mom was with me. Let me for wind a little bit,
So my mom was with me. My mom was like,
you know, she's my biggest champion. So she was like, okay,
is this the director?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Hey, you ever thought about doing a movie about Nicole?
A movie about Sean? We went to a premiere when
of his premiere. Sorry I forgot to leave that got
to say that. So we met Manny. My mom was like,
you know, on him, like, hey, you know, you ever
thought about doing this? And was like you know, maybe
you know, I don't think he really knew who we
were or whatever. But down the line we had more conversations.
(30:45):
We talked a little bit more, and then production kind
of came up with an idea of like, okay, how
can we do this. Let's figure out how to the
best way to make this happen. For me, it was
always about telling the story. You know, I don't know
about the creativity side of it. That's not I'm not
in entertainment, that's not my field. But I have a
story and it's a story that affected a lot of people,
(31:06):
and it's a story that's going to change lives. And
if there's a way that we can get this out there.
Let's do it. So as far as a timeframe, I
feel like the best time is now, not only because
of what we're going through in the community, but just
because me personally mentally, I wasn't in a space to
be able to make a movie. Years ago. I was
raising two little girls, I was mourning, going through depression PTSD.
(31:30):
I couldn't do a movie. How could I find the time?
So now it's been almost twenty years, I'm able to
talk about this without the tears. I'm able to, you know,
find the therapy. I'm able to talk to my girls
and mentor them and their independent women exactly. You know
what I pray for. Now's the time. It's no better
(31:52):
time than do it right now.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Were you overly critical of who played y'all?
Speaker 4 (31:59):
I would think I was more overly critical of who
plays Sean as opposed to who played me. To me,
that was really more important. But what was the pause?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Didn't want to get in trouble? Why?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Why is sewn in.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Particular because he's not here to speak for himself, so
we gotta we gotta do this right. He's not here
to tell his story, so the person has to. You know,
you gotta kind of have his aura, you gotta have
his vibe. You know, you have to be able to
on screen make it real, you know, make it feel
like him. And that was for me, that was the
(32:40):
most important part. And I think Raven's amazing. Raven's the
character who played my role. When I saw her audition tape,
she made me cry every emotion absolutely and once I
saw that, I said, Okay, it's her.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
How can people honor Sean's story in a way that
leads to action, not just sympathy, so in.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
A way that leads to actions. So we need we
need everyone to for one, go out and vote for
your local elections and your local elections, like do what
you can do your part. You know, personally, this is
you know, something that we all have to continue to
to shine the light on, you know, whether it's his
story or it's you know, an injustice that you know
(33:22):
of in your area. Like, let's support each other. Join
an organization. If you don't see an organization that that
resonates with you, start an organization. There are many things
that you can do to advocate and it doesn't always
have to be just in Shawn's name. But get be
a part of some kind of movement. Get out there,
be a part of a movement. And you know, for us,
(33:43):
there there aren't any more legal, you know, measures that
I can take. I've exhausted those. So this is the
next step for me. And I want everybody to get
out there and go see it, you know, and and
tell the story, pass the story along, and we're gonna
be at colleges. You know, we're gonna going to share
the story with the next generation who doesn't know Sean
hasn't heard about this story. And that's really it.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
And if youwers walk away with just one lesson from
after shock, what do you hope it is?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
One lesson for after shock is that you cannot let
life like take you out. There are things that's gonna happen,
and you have to find your way, find your way
to make it through endurance. Resilience is life like. We're
all going to get knocked down at some point, right
(34:34):
and it may not be to this magnitude, and I
pray it's not to this magnitude, but life is gonna
come at you and you have to find your way,
whatever your way is, to get over it and to
when I say get over it. I mean to get
over the hump, not to get you know, not to
move out of the way, but to get over that
hump and push through and and support your people like
(34:58):
you know, this is we need that support. I'm I'm
thankful for people like many you know and his team
who are not you know, affiliated with any type of
justice you know, organizations or anything, but he said, hey,
this is something that's important and we want to get
behind you on this, and I'm just really thankful for that.
(35:19):
And I think everyone needs to find, you know, whatever
your source is, what is your source, and and just
feed that and keep going and don't give up.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Absolutely well, definitely check it out this Friday after Shock
and Nicole pe Bell story, and thank you for sharing
your story. Thank you great so much, Manny.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
But it's tough. Definitely always sending your.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Healing energy, absolutely healing energy, and Manny you too. I'm
always praying me and my wife is always praying for you, Manny.
So we love you and thank you so much for
sharing it. Again. If y'all need anything, please let us know,
and thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Everywhere AMC Theaters is select AMC Theaters nationwide, So if
you go on fendangle dot com you'll see it airs.
It releases November twenty eighth, and then on digital as
of December fifteenth.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
All right, Nicole Bell, it's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Good morning, hold.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Up every day up, wake, pake your ass up, the
Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
You know I'm finished or y'all done
Hold up every day up waiting clicks up the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You all finish for y'all done?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Morning, everybody in stej Envy Jess, hilarious, Charlamagne, the gud
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
in the building.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yes, indeed we having Nicole Bell.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Welcome, Good morning. Are you feeling this morning?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I'm feeling great, glad to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
We got a new movie after Shocked and the Cold
Pete Bell Story. What you're being in theaters November twenty
eight When you decided to tell this story through film?
What truth did you feel America still didn't understand about
what happened?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I think America doesn't understand what the families really go
through behind the scenes. For me, I was twenty two
years old, Sean was only twenty three when he was killed,
and we had two small daughters. My daughters at the
time were baby girls. So going through the years of
fighting for justice the levels of government, state trial, federal investigation,
(01:00):
our mental hearings, civil and then reforms. Fighting for reforms
that takes a toll. And as a twenty two year
old young woman surrounded by the nation who supported us,
my family, the community it was. That's what really empowered
me to move forward. And what I think a lot
(01:20):
of people need to understand is that many people want
to tell their stories. People want their stories heard, and
we don't really know how what outlet. But I'm blessed
to get a chance to meet people like Manny and
give us the opportunity to put this real life story
now on screens for people to see and see what
really happened behind the scenes.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
If you don't mind, I want to go back a
little bit. Yeah, if you don't mind. And the reason
being is after watching a movie. I'm from Queens, so
you lived it, but you just forget, right with everything
going on in the world, you forget the ends, the
outs and the details and you just assume right like
I'm not even gonna lie. I forgot the cops gotta
quit it like you. You forget so many things.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So, hello, it's been over twenty years, so.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
This year, this tomorrow makes nineteen years.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
So for people that don't know the Sean Bell story,
just break it down a little bit. You guys were
high school sweethearts. Yeah, you were about to get married,
and I'll let you go.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
From so yes, So Shawn and I both went to
John Adams High School in Ozone Park, Queens. We're from
Queen's South Side, Jamaica, Queens, so we met there. Sean
played baseball, we met, we dated just like everyone else.
After school, Sean went on too Nashville Community College. He
played baseball for a little there. When I graduated, we
(02:44):
kind of went straight into building a family. I was
a young mom and after the birth of my second daughter,
Sean had surprised me with a ring and it was
Christmas Day, all the family, we were all together sitting
by the tree. He had a yeah, giving me a shoebox, right,
(03:04):
and I thought, oh, it was another pair of shoes
because he had bought me shoes before. I didn't really
like the shoes that he bought me last time, but
he bought me these shoes and I was like, Okay,
we got another pair of shoes coming. I opened up
the shoebox. Inside the shoe box was a watchbox. I
was like, Oh, surprise, I got to watch open up
the watchbox. In the watchbox was a ring box. And
(03:25):
that was the day that, you know, we decided to
get married. So we hadn't made any plans, maybe about
a year or so it had passed, and then at
that point our daughters were Jada was three and a
half almost four, and Jordan was just born, so she
was about five months old. So sometime in November of
(03:46):
six early November, he had sat me down. He's like
the one day he came home, He's like, hey, come,
let's sit down and talk. We were living in far
Rockaway at the time, and I was kind of nervous,
not sure what he wanted to talk about, because he
wasn't to come sit down and talk to me, the
type of person it was just like he would say
what it is. But he had talked to his mom,
(04:09):
he had talked to my mom, he had talked to
the pastors, and he had planned the wedding. My best
friends knew, and I was just shocked that I didn't know. No,
I hadn't find out, you know. I was kind of
feeling like, how could y'all keep this secret for me?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That's one of the most stressful things ever planning a wed.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
What And he had it, he had the church, he
had The only thing he couldn't do was get my dress.
And that's what my best friend told me. His mother
told me, like it was like, you cannot buy her
dress for her, y'all. He gotta let her pick out
our dress. So that time, that point in my life,
it was really the happiest point in my life. And
it was two weeks before the due date. So we
(04:46):
had celebrated November twenty third as our anniversary, and he
was like, we're gonna do it on the twenty fifth.
It was the weekend. The family's gonna fly in. I mean,
they had everything together and I went then. So the
the eve of the twenty fourth, I went for my
bachelorette party my mom's house. We did like a little
small intimate bridal shower, and then he went out with
(05:08):
some of the guys from the neighborhood. My brother in
law was there and his father muse them. And at
some point during the night I got a call it
was early morning, like four am at this point on
the wedding day, that something happened and we needed to
get to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Now when that happened, breakdown because the police tried to lie. Right,
It was so many different stories, and like I said,
after watching the movie, you go down this rabbit hole
of google, right, and then you start remembering all the
lies that they did and just trying to break his
character and all that without going too much because some
of it's in the movie, some of it's not breakdown
how the family took that, because, hey, you got a
(05:48):
young man that did everything right. He went to school,
he got his degree, he was working, he had a
couple of jobs. But now you got the city or
the police officers trying to break his spirit. How did
the family feel during that time?
Speaker 4 (06:02):
It was devastating. It was devastating for his parents. It
was devastating for me. I had to kind of like
isolate myself from like things like social media and I
couldn't read the comments things like that. It was just
kind of getting out of hand. But it was completely
devastating because we were like just in shock, you know,
and a lot of pain mentally. And then there were
(06:22):
stories coming out like the fourth Man. There's a fourth Man.
They came out right away with that one, and then
it disappeared right away. It went away, and there was
just a whole smear campaign. And I had come to
find out just by my attorneys and the leaders like
Reverend Sharpton and people who are around me, like this
is what happens when and some people are killed by
(06:44):
police officers every day, which is.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Crazy because you couldn't even grieve. I'm sitting there and
you trying to grieve. You have these young kids, but
then you're trying to protect the name, and it's like,
could you even grieve during that time?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
So I went straight into getting active and so the
next day we went to a rally. Day after that,
you know, we did a march, and then after the funeral,
it was just like, now it's time to you know,
let people know, shine of light on exactly what's happening.
So no, grieving didn't happen right away, and I would
(07:19):
go home and cry, you know, I'd come out and
you know, make it, you know, look as good as
it needs to be. But behind the scenes, I was
a mess, you know, I was a wreck. And my
family really formed like this barrier around me to protect
me and help me with the girls. They were so young,
and that was really that was the whole program. From
(07:40):
that point on. Everywhere I went, I was kind of
surrounded by somebody who was from the family or someone
who was there to kind of you know, act as like,
all right, if I have to step in and help
you know we're going to do that. But I tell
people all the time, you know, like there's no specific
order in which you grieve. You know. For me, going
through this film and also working on a book, it
(08:01):
brings back every thought, every memory. There's been times when
even recently, I've lost sleep and I had to get
back into therapy, you know and speak to a therapist.
But I'm so grieving. I mean, you got to grieve
and keep it moving, and that's really what That's what
it was about back then.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
How did your understanding of grief change over the years,
Like once the cameras disappeared and life just kept moving.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, yeah, so you know it's like we're living this,
you know, once the cameras leave and the smoke clears,
this is still my life. This is still and I
still have to find a way to take care of
my daughters. I still have to find a way to work.
I still have to find a way to you know,
keep his memory alive and do all these things at
the same time. So, I mean my understanding of it was,
(08:48):
you know, we just got to keep it moving. I
have to keep going forward, Like I don't know where
this is going, but I know I'm going to keep
pushing forward, and I know eventually we'll get somewhere. And
that's all it was for me, just keep going, like
I can't think about what's going to happen next month,
but I'm going to take it one day at a time.
And that's really what it's about. It's just pushing forward.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What's something people assume gets easier with time but actually
becomes more difficult.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I think even this, you know, this conversation here, Yeah,
I think people think you know that, Hey, you know,
maybe you're far removed from it by now, but it's
it's an ongoing thing. Like I just recently, I was
on the phone with my therapist just bawling, you know,
like you know, we everyone you know thinks of this
(09:35):
whole term, like you know, being strong, and you know,
but there's so many ways to look at, you know,
how what that means, and so we get blinded by it,
like I have to be strong. I have to be strong,
But strong is like just one day. Strong might be
just getting out of bed one day. The next day,
strong might be sitting here on a radio station. It
looks different, and to me, that's the way I identify
(09:56):
what like moving forward is and how grief works. There's
no specific order in which that happens and how it comes.
So I mean, and then my daughters, you know, I
can't be far removed from it because my girls are
every day, you know, a part of him. And my
daughters they deal with it in different ways, you know,
(10:16):
from when they were younger, and you know.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Till now. Now, how was that raising those young queens
because I remember when it happened, right, my dad, who
was a retired police officer, did not want me out, right,
he already didn't want me out. Yeah, you know, it
was always like you got to come home, you got
to drive, and the streets during that time was real dangerous.
So I could imagine the anxiety of every day your
(10:41):
daughter just wanting to leave, to go anywhere. So how
was that?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Absolutely? I mean, there were talks that you know, if
there's ever you know, if you're ever approached, you know
by a police officer, like remain calm, just you know,
let me handle that. You know, you get as much
information as you can and let me handle that. But
it was terrifying for one, but not just for them,
you know, for for anyone I loved, you know, I
was worried about my dad. I was worried about you know,
(11:05):
my brother in laws, the men in my life. You know,
just not sure about what's going to happen. But it
was bad back then, and people who supported us were targeted,
you know after, you know, for supporting us. I learned
that from you know, elected officials. I learned that from
artists who support us. And it was bad. It was
really bad, and that was so important. That's why it
(11:27):
was so important for me to show people the human side,
like this is who we are, this is who he was,
and this is the family and that's still what it
is even till this day.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Let's stay there for saying, what parts of Sean's life
and character did you want this film to reclaim from
like all the media natives.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
So I need people just to know that, you know,
Sean was just like you know you and you dj
envy like. He was a person who like loved his woman,
he loved his family, he loved his mom, his dad.
He wasn't a person who had many close friends. The
friends that he was very selective about who he considered
his friends and the ones who were you know, his friends.
(12:12):
He would take care of him on his bachelor party night.
He was driving his friends, like he was driving the
guys from the neighborhood in my car. So this is
who Sean was. He wasn't you know, a person that's like,
you know, just not you know, or I guess what
(12:33):
the narrative was being pushed out at some points. If
it wasn't for the family, and if it wasn't for
like the advocates and everyone who stood up, like, I
don't know what the image would have been. But for us,
it was important to just show people who he was, like,
this is who he is. He worked, he had jobs,
you know, he he loved to surprise me, like he
(12:54):
had planned a surprise wedding all by himself and pulled
in the family. He this is who he was. This
was the guy was, And it was just made into
this big, you know thing because there were fifty shots
fired by the police officers. That's really at the bottom line,
that's what it was. It was the fifty shots that
were fired by the police officers on our wedding day,
and that was how big it was. That was that
(13:17):
was what made it like sensationalized. But Sean was just
like you and me, Like he was just like any
other person. There was nothing any different, and he was
human like, he was a human. He wasn't just a hashtag.
He wasn't just a name. You know. That's you know,
it's not just a headline. It's a family behind us,
and it's a family was grieving.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
What made you come up with the title after Shock?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
That's production. I don't think. I didn't really care about it.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, I just found it interesting, Like you know what,
I want to know, why was it important for you
to tell that story, like the years long impact of
the trauma, because I think that's something that people don't
think about.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, well that that itself, Absolutely, that is a thing.
And that was part of the reason why I wanted
to push forward with the project is because I think
the movie shows a timeframe of like six to twenty
twenty one, and that's a huge part of my life,
you know, And it's it's almost two decades that we're
(14:18):
talking about of trying to keep his memory alive. But
these families are going through every day, Like there's so
many families like mine, and I know them, and I
just hope that this project will like encourage other families
to tell your stories. There's other ways that we can
get the word out. There's other ways that we can
show people, like we didn't receive the justice that we
(14:39):
were looking for, and really, accountability would have been that
in this case, I mean, justice would have been him
still being here. But accountability is what we were looking for.
So this is us holding them accountable.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I wanted to know, like when they were when they
were acquitted, did any of those officers apologize?
Speaker 4 (14:58):
There was a public statement that was issued, It wasn't
really directed towards me in the during the court room.
It was very like blatant that you know, they weren't
willing to apologize. After they were acquitted, there was like
a public statement at their press conference, but that was it.
It was nothing personal.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do we know what happened to those officers? Did they
lose their jobs? Do we know did they get shipped
to another precinct? Do we know at all or not?
Speaker 4 (15:24):
So? The the officer who followed who fired their initial shots,
he was terminated. The rest of them, I believe they
were allowed to retire with benefits.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Yeah, So I don't know where their life is at
this point, and you know, really I just hope that
they understand, like the weight of what they left behind
and what their actions did that night, and how generally, generationally,
how that affects not just me, not just mister and
missus Bell, but where now, you know, raising my kids
(15:55):
in that and I'm just My goal was to make
them strong, make them normal, normal girls you know who
can blend in. And I'm blessed to be able to
say that's the case today. You know, my oldest daughter,
she's like doing her thing, working and has her own apartment.
Jordan's at Howard University, and they're just independent young women
(16:16):
and I'm so proud. They're like my best friends. They
keep me strong when I feel weak, and vice versa.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
One one about the cops, Yeah, I remember one thing
that bothered especially the community and queens, was that when
it first happened, people automatically thought there was going to
be a bunch of white cops and it was racist.
That was a bunch of it was I think one
white cop, and it was minorities. How did that feel,
because you know, you really want to feel like at
least somebody that looks like me understands, right, How did
(16:45):
that feel during that time? And was that a thing
back then?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
And yeah, that was insane, and I think I even
heard that. You know, people like, well they how did
you know it was cops? They were you know, they
were white. Like okay, guys, y'all got to pay attention
to read the story. This is not that's not what happened.
Because growing up in South Jamaica, queens like you know
about stopping first. You see that, You see detectives jumping
out on people. You see you know, the marked cars.
You know what the culture was back then, So we're
(17:13):
all aware of it. We're hyper. Like when he arrived
at the bachelor party, he was pulled over by blue
and white, a marked car. He wasn't even given the ticket.
I found out this information during the trial. I didn't
even know that. So when he was parking to get
to the bachelor party, he was pulled over, they didn't
even give him a ticket. They sai already have a
good day. Why'd you stop him? When he was leaving,
(17:34):
he was encountered by the cop who was at the
club under you know, investigating the club. So it was
just the community in itself was policed in a way
that just wasn't there to protect, you know, the people
who are from the neighborhood. The people who live here, like,
we go to school here, we work our jobs here
(17:55):
in the neighborhood was shot up. There were homes that
were shot you know, fifty one went into the air
train above Edja Maka station and nobody was held accountable
for that. And that's really part of the reason that
fuels me because with all that devastation, what was the outcome?
(18:16):
And you know, and I don't know what's going to
come next, but all I know is, you know, just
this is the same message we're going to keep pushing forward.
There are so many victims who need to be encouraged
to tell their stories, and they want to be encouraged
to tell their stories. They don't they're not sure how.
And I just hope that, you know, this project makes
everybody proud.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
And I want to go back to your daughters, like,
how did you protect your daughter's emotional world while the
country was just discussing your family is just a political case.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Yeah, because they were watching Disney and Nickelodeon. They were
doing what kids do. They were going to dance school,
they were you know, playing sports. They were not involved
in that. And when they were small, I would take
them to the rallies and stuff. But once they were
old enough to kind of articulate what's going on, you know,
wouldn't make sure they were either were grandma or they
were you know, busy doing something else, and just kept
(19:05):
them focused on what do you want to do? Like,
what do you what do you want to become? We're
going to make you the you know, the best. You know,
whatever it is you want to do, hair you want
to do, make it, whatever it is you want to
become a lawyer, You're going to be the best at it.
And I think that's where my with my girls, it
was just important that I keep them normal, like, you know,
don't I don't read the comments, so I'm not going
(19:26):
to introduce them, you know what.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
About because when the movie comes out, yeah, you know,
start that whole conversation all over the world.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
So we we we do a lot in private. You know,
we we are very tight. We are very close. My
girls are very close to his parents. We we keep it,
you know, really tight. So we've watched it together in private,
and my girls had a lot of questions and there
were things that they didn't even know that after watching it,
(19:55):
you know, I'll get calls like, hey, mom, what did
this mean? You know what was that about? And I
can you know, just remember being twenty two and losing
him and thinking like, oh my god, how am I
gonna explain this to them? One day? And the one
day is here and now I'm here and we're having
these deep conversations. But now I'm ready to have the
(20:16):
conversations because if I had tried to do this nineteen
years ago, I don't think I would have made it.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You didn't You didn't even have an understanding of it.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Absolutely, I did not have an understanding of it. Now,
even though the grief, you know, is still there and
I'm working with a therapist and you know, we're dealing
with the reality of it. It is. It's just a
matter of it being like a story that is important
to our culture. It's important to our history. And long
(20:47):
after I'm gone, after shock is going to be here.
And that's what my goal is, just to create something
that will last. And you know, we can, you know,
we can hope that you know, this will make history.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Who stood up for you back then? You know, we've
seen River now and we heard about jay Z who
stood up for the community back then when you needed
it the most right. You support people, you support local
people who stood up for you during that time. Anybody.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
I mean during that time, there was like you said,
Rever Now, there was a lot of people at NAN.
National Action Network was a big deal everyone you know,
in my community, there were a lot of elect every
elected official you could think of, like some of my
friends now who are now in politics, like the Queensborough
(21:36):
President Donovan Richards and people like Timika Mallory from Nan. Yeah,
and these are the people now, right, who are who've
come from that Sean Bell era and who marched like
under Reverend now Sharpton, and now they're the leaders of
the time and saying, hey, this is what we need
to do because this is what happened in the past.
So those are some of the people, I mean even
(21:57):
right now, like Angela Ride that's my girl. I text
Angela right now and she'll give me some you know,
great advice, or like hey, Nicole, you need to check this.
You know my attorney, you know, like female black female attorneys.
I'm surrounded by wonderful people that I can call when
I'm in need. And I think back then it was
(22:21):
the same. You know, there wasn't much of the female presence.
It was more of like the politicians. It was like
the revenue Sharpton. But I think everyone recognized that. That's
that's why you've had like the Mother's movement who came out.
Everyone recognized that, right, Sabrina Fulton and Gwen Carr, Eric
Gardner's mother, like the movements that came from it, because
(22:43):
it was more of like, this is a political thing,
and it's like, oh, how is it political? You know,
we're not politicians, but you know, because of the you know,
the police officers, they deemed it as political. But I
think the most magnificent thing of that is that all
of the lives that were affected back then and all
the greatness that came from it, all of everyone whose
(23:04):
lives were affected said, hey, you know, because of what
happened to Sean, that's the reason why I became this
And that means a lot to me.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
That means JZ did start a trust fund.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Right he did? Yes? He did? Yeah? Yeah, college fund
for my girls.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Yeah that was that was back in eight Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Is there a moment public are private that best represents
the emotional aftershock of losing Sean?
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Public or private? I think that first ever march that
happened in six down Fifth Avenue, it was massive, right,
I didn't even know the gravity of how many people
were affected by it. I thought it was just us.
(23:56):
And then that first ever march that I attended down
Fifth Avenue, it was crazy. I mean, we were ending
the march miles down and we could see all the
way back the streets were filled with people. People were outraged.
They were outraged like it was their family member. And
(24:19):
I think that's what moved me to say, oh wow,
I'm not alone here. I felt like I was on
the island, like there was no one who could ever
relate to what I had gone through losing him on
my wedding day in that way. But even though you know,
these people didn't lose him that way, everyone was affected,
everyone was outraged, and then still there was no justice.
(24:42):
And I think that's also a part that defines, you know,
what we're dealing with here, is that no matter how
the amount of people, the amount of outrage, the the
amount of shots, there was still no conviction there. You know,
what are we going to do with that?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
You believe in the system. After that, I lost.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
My faith in the system. After I'm gonna be honest
with you, I really did. And now you see family
since then who've gone through similar things, and it's the
steps that we have to take as family members, and
you got to go through these measures just to get somewhere.
And it's just like we're walking down the same line.
Everyone's walking down the same line looking for a different outcome.
(25:27):
And listen, you know, I sat back and kind of watched,
you know, families go through this. It's painful for everyone
to think, you know, okay, this is it, this is
the time, and then it's the same outcome. We're just
watching this whole thing just over and over, just like
a vicious cycle. And for me, I mean, Zora Neil
(25:48):
Hurston said, if you don't talk about your pain, they'll
kill you and think and say you enjoyed it. And
that's what aftershock is about. We're talking about our pain
here and this so many people who are in pain,
and people who down the line in future might be
in pain. But this is the story for all of us.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
How did advocating for justice reshape your identity as a woman,
a mother.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And a leader?
Speaker 4 (26:16):
How did advocating for justice so I feel that it
empowered me? It defined you know who I am. It
really helps kind of give me that strength to push
me forward. I learned a lot about myself. I learned
a lot about our community. But advocacy, it's just a
never ending thing. It's not something that you can do
(26:39):
and turn it off. You know. There's always something to
advocate for it, There's always something that needs change. So
I feel that the advocacy in itself, it kind of
defined me as a woman, and it made me feel
really like badass.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Really, yeah, I was gonna say, what message did you
want to say into the world by forgiven the police
officers that shot or did you even forgive me?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
I was going to actually would you read that? I
was gonna, actually, where did you see that? So I
don't think I've reached that place because I was there
and I've witnessed them in real time how they felt
(27:27):
and like during the trial, how they would pass notes
and make jokes. This was like almost like a board game,
you know, and we were devastated, you know, And it
takes a lot to say I am forgiven. I have
to keep it real with y'all, and I have to
I have to always keep it real. I haven't forgave.
I can say I'm at peace, but no, I haven't forgiven.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I'm not a forgiving person either. Certain things I just
don't understand. And he tried to talk to but it's
just certain things I just can't forgive. And yeah, is
what it is.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
If I had maybe that point in life, if I
had maybe picked up a hint of remorse somewhere maybe,
but I didn't, So I can't put that on them
if that's not how they feel. And that's okay, because
you know, I'll find my way and my girls will
be We're gonna you know, we're gonna make it. We're
gonna be strong. We're gonna support his mom, we're gonna
support his dad. Like where we're going to be. You know,
(28:23):
we're gonna be okay. But as far as forgiveness, now,
my therapist.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Told me last week, you know, if somebody has done
you wrong and you feel like they've harmed you, it
is perfectly healthy to say fuck them.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I love that therapist. No, that's how I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
That's that's an emotion, that's your feeling.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Who is who are you now compared to who you
were before? November twenty fIF thousand.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Oh man, who am I now compared to her? I mean,
right now, it's wow. I mean I don't know if
I can find the words for it, but I think
there's really I feel unstoppable. I'm gonna be honest with you.
I feel like this is something that has prepared me
(29:11):
for a life I never had planned. I was just
looking forward to getting married to Sean, and you know,
the love that we have for each other, the love
he had for our girls, that's really what fueled me.
And when they took that from me, it was it
was extremely personal, you know that they did this, and
(29:33):
it kind of made me look at you know, life differently,
Absolutely look at life differently, cherishing you know, our loved ones,
loving on everybody around you, appreciating life Like I'm not
a person who complains a lot. I'm not a person
who takes things for granted. I find the greatness and
everything and losing Sean, the struggle that we had, all
(29:55):
of that has made me this person.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Now, why and when did you decide to do this movie? Like?
What was the thing that like? It's time now?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So I met Manny Hally back in twenty seventeen, and
I had a conversation with him that he had, my
mom was with me. Let me for wind a little bit,
So my mom was with me. My mom was like,
you know, she's my biggest champion. So she was like, okay,
is this the director?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Hey, you ever thought about doing a movie about Nicole?
A movie about Sean? We went to a premiere when
of his premiere. Sorry I forgot to leave that got
to say that. So we met Manny. My mom was like,
you know, on him, like, hey, you know, you ever
thought about doing this? And was like you know, maybe
you know, I don't think he really knew who we
were or whatever. But down the line we had more conversations.
(30:45):
We talked a little bit more, and then production kind
of came up with an idea of like, okay, how
can we do this. Let's figure out how to the
best way to make this happen. For me, it was
always about telling the story. You know, I don't know
about the creativity side of it. That's not I'm not
in entertainment, that's not my field. But I have a
story and it's a story that affected a lot of people,
(31:06):
and it's a story that's going to change lives. And
if there's a way that we can get this out there.
Let's do it. So as far as a timeframe, I
feel like the best time is now, not only because
of what we're going through in the community, but just
because me personally mentally, I wasn't in a space to
be able to make a movie. Years ago. I was
raising two little girls, I was mourning, going through depression PTSD.
(31:30):
I couldn't do a movie. How could I find the time?
So now it's been almost twenty years, I'm able to
talk about this without the tears. I'm able to, you know,
find the therapy. I'm able to talk to my girls
and mentor them and their independent women exactly. You know
what I pray for. Now's the time. It's no better
(31:52):
time than do it right now.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Were you overly critical of who played y'all?
Speaker 4 (31:59):
I would think I was more overly critical of who
plays Sean as opposed to who played me. To me,
that was really more important. But what was the pause?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Didn't want to get in trouble? Why?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Why is sewn in.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Particular because he's not here to speak for himself, so
we gotta we gotta do this right. He's not here
to tell his story, so the person has to. You know,
you gotta kind of have his aura, you gotta have
his vibe. You know, you have to be able to
on screen make it real, you know, make it feel
like him. And that was for me, that was the
(32:40):
most important part. And I think Raven's amazing. Raven's the
character who played my role. When I saw her audition tape,
she made me cry every emotion absolutely and once I
saw that, I said, Okay, it's her.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
How can people honor Sean's story in a way that
leads to action, not just sympathy, so in.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
A way that leads to actions. So we need we
need everyone to for one, go out and vote for
your local elections and your local elections, like do what
you can do your part. You know, personally, this is
you know, something that we all have to continue to
to shine the light on, you know, whether it's his
story or it's you know, an injustice that you know
(33:22):
of in your area. Like, let's support each other. Join
an organization. If you don't see an organization that that
resonates with you, start an organization. There are many things
that you can do to advocate and it doesn't always
have to be just in Shawn's name. But get be
a part of some kind of movement. Get out there,
be a part of a movement. And you know, for us,
(33:43):
there there aren't any more legal, you know, measures that
I can take. I've exhausted those. So this is the
next step for me. And I want everybody to get
out there and go see it, you know, and and
tell the story, pass the story along, and we're gonna
be at colleges. You know, we're gonna going to share
the story with the next generation who doesn't know Sean
hasn't heard about this story. And that's really it.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
And if youwers walk away with just one lesson from
after shock, what do you hope it is?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
One lesson for after shock is that you cannot let
life like take you out. There are things that's gonna happen,
and you have to find your way, find your way
to make it through endurance. Resilience is life like. We're
all going to get knocked down at some point, right
(34:34):
and it may not be to this magnitude, and I
pray it's not to this magnitude, but life is gonna
come at you and you have to find your way,
whatever your way is, to get over it and to
when I say get over it. I mean to get
over the hump, not to get you know, not to
move out of the way, but to get over that
hump and push through and and support your people like
(34:58):
you know, this is we need that support. I'm I'm
thankful for people like many you know and his team
who are not you know, affiliated with any type of
justice you know, organizations or anything, but he said, hey,
this is something that's important and we want to get
behind you on this, and I'm just really thankful for that.
(35:19):
And I think everyone needs to find, you know, whatever
your source is, what is your source, and and just
feed that and keep going and don't give up.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Absolutely well, definitely check it out this Friday after Shock
and Nicole pe Bell story, and thank you for sharing
your story. Thank you great so much, Manny.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
But it's tough. Definitely always sending your.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Healing energy, absolutely healing energy, and Manny you too. I'm
always praying me and my wife is always praying for you, Manny.
So we love you and thank you so much for
sharing it. Again. If y'all need anything, please let us know,
and thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Everywhere AMC Theaters is select AMC Theaters nationwide, So if
you go on fendangle dot com you'll see it airs.
It releases November twenty eighth, and then on digital as
of December fifteenth.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
All right, Nicole Bell, it's the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Good morning, hold.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Up every day up, wake, pake your ass up, the
Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
You know I'm finished or y'all done
The Breakfast Club News
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DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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