October 10, 2025 • 31 mins
Nia Long talks about her priorities in romance and her amazing career in a new article with The Cut. There’s some real gems in here, especially about partnership and children.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FM
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm a homegrowd that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody you don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's Lauren l Rosa and this is the latest with
Laura L Rosa. This is your DELI dig on all
things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of the conversations
that shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Now, today we are going to dive into an article.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
That was honestly just released.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
As I was heading here to the podcast, I saw
that this article was released and a major announcement about
this celebrity was released. So we're going to get into
all things nia Along today. And for those of you,
I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, I don't
know how you would be unfamiliar with nia Along. But
for those of you who are unfamiliar with nil honestly,
(00:47):
I don't even want to do that because if you
listen to this podcast and you're familiar with ni Along,
the rock you live under is not my problem.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We are not going to do that today. So nia Along, you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Know, actress, you know, just man like nia Along is
literally when I think I just saying actress to me
is a is an underscore is an undersell. I think
when you talk about Nia Long and what her career
has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak for
me personally, like she is an actress, and you know,
(01:19):
I visually when I say actress, see all of the
roles that she has played on camera, from Boys in
the Hood to I mean even even like recent things
she's done, Like you know, there's a movie I forget
what is it called. It's it's about uh. I only
remember her name in the movie CC Bloom because my
(01:41):
best friend Sierra that's what her family calls her.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Hold on one second Beaches.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, so from Boys in the Hood to I mean
fresh Prince of bel Air and of course Love Jones.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I mean it's Nia Along like Love Jones.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Like I just I literally just watched Beaches again on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Ne Along remade the ninety I.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Think it was an eighty film, the eighty film Beaches,
and she played CC Boom in the film. But I mean,
I just think of her as a nineties culture like architect,
and I feel like with Neil Long and she talks
about it, We're going to get into an interview that
(02:25):
she did for The Cut magazine and the headline of
the article says, ne Along isn't romanticized in the past.
She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the
next generation in Hollywood. And you know, I just think
about everything that Nia Long like stood for right as
a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful,
(02:46):
beautiful but like sexy, not afraid to say how she
feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me,
just watching her and I think about, you know, down
to They just announced that she is going to be
Este Lauder's first ever an ambassador for North America exclusively,
which means she'll get to do like TV deals and
(03:09):
her TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things
for the brand.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
But I'm like, duh, Like Nia Long not only is.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
A person that I watched on camera because she was
great at playing these characters in these roles and storytelling
and really just being the girl, you know, the girl
next door and the girl from around the way who
was so smart.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
You know, I remember boys in the hood.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I always thought that it was so fire that like
she was the girl that was like beautiful and she
was like there and she's around, but she's headed to
college and her head is on straight and she's fly
and she's sexy, and you know, I think for a
lot of us, you know, for me as a black
woman looking at that on TV, it was like, okay, cool,
Like I'm growing up as a girl around the way,
but there's more to just my neighborhood. But it's also
(03:54):
okay for me to still be very intertwined and indulged
and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when it's and set away,
it's time to step away. But also just being I mean,
I don't know her beauty. To me, I'm like, duh
at Stay Louder and whoever else cover girl, all the brands, right,
But that came out today as well. So she did
this interview with The Cut and they talk about, you
(04:16):
know her and everything she's doing with Esday Louder, but
then they also get into just what being a woman
in her role.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Has meant for her.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So she's speaking with The Cut and they just starn't
really getting into her life.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And one of the things that is starting.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
To go superviral already is one of the quotes from
a part of the interview. So this part of the
interview they're talking to today along about balancing work and love,
and she says, I don't think there's ever been a
time in my life where I was willing to give
up my life to be someone's wife or girlfriend ever period.
(04:52):
And then she laughs. She says, I don't care how
difficult the journey has been. I think you can have both.
And she's talking about the love and the career, which
has always been a conversation, especially you know, I mean
ni Al Long has been in this game for a
long time. Lean Long has kids. Nia Long has been
in a very public, you know, situation where her partner,
(05:14):
I May, I May. I'm probably saying his name wrong.
I May, who was coaching for the Celtics, you know,
at the time when all this stuff was going down
and there was the cheating allegations, and Neil Long like publicly,
that's like finding out you got cheated cheated on when
you at work and it's like it's nothing you can
do because you got to finish the shift.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But she's so pissed and your heart is broken.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Nia Long would do some things publicly with her youngest
son's father.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
She has two sons. Her youngest son's father.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I May, I believe it's I May I may, I may,
I may. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize. I
say a lot of people's names wrong, My bad.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been doing
a lot publicly.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But you know, even before that, she had the career,
she had the husban, been, she had the family, all
of the things. And she says, I never wanted to
wake up in my thirties and forties and say, well,
what is the value of my life? She says, Now,
don't get me wrong, I my are women who are
committed to being stay at home wives and running a
house and raising the children. That's a job. But I
(06:17):
also know that those children grow up, and when they
grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a working mom,
a single mom, or stay at home mom, there's a
moment that every woman feels like, Okay, now it's time
to recreate who I am. Now it's time to tap
into my passion because there's so much pouring out.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
It's like to give or take.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's basically like, okay, now your cup is empty and
you got to refiel it.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
So you got to give back somewhere.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
She says, I just have never been willing to give
up my career and my dreams and my aspirations for
a man. I think it's beautiful to have a partnership,
but I don't need to be taken care of. It's
nice to be treated, it's nice for a man to
financially be giving. I love all of that. I'm here
for all of that, and it's actually like a prerequisit right, Yes, girl,
I am. That's one of the biggest things I'm learning.
(07:00):
It's nothing wrong with that being a prerequisite. The twenty
twenty five and this whole list of where people won't
eat and will eat on the date.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I ain't going to a chain restaurant.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
All that will make you feel like having prerequisites or
things that you want when it comes to finances is
a bad thing as a woman, which is crazy to me.
You don't got to be you know. I'm not the
type that's like if my men don't.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Or can't, I won't.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
But you do want it, and I want to be
honest about the fact that I want that, So I
love the Neolong said that. Here she says, you got
to come with all the presents, she laughs, the offerings,
The surprise is the trips. That's the icing on the cake.
That's where I get to be soft. That's where I
get to be a girl's girl. I'm sorry, That's where
I get to be a girly girl. Felt feltic. So
(07:44):
when I think about Neolong and I think about, you know,
since the nineties, how long Neolong has been in this
industry and been relevant in this industry. I mean, the
minute I think about ni Along, I think about the
line short hair like Neolon, like her beauty has been
focus short hair, night like ne Along. People think of nineties,
you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip, brown glass, soul food,
(08:09):
love Jones, the flipped up Bob. Anytime I do short hair,
brown lip, it's all even my shirt today, my shirt today.
I don't know if you guys can see it well
because I'm sitting down, but it's very much na Along
soul Food inspired.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
When I put this on today, I was like, oh,
I just.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes very much
reminiscent of ne Along.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Always an inspo. But it's not just about her look.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I think it's always for a lot of us, you know,
women that are trying to figure this out.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
We model and or we model and we look at
women who.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Seem like they have it all figured out, And I say,
I say it seem like not as a knock to
what Neilong may have or may not have figured out.
But you know, I just know people always say I
look like I haven't figured out, but I don't not
about me. But like she would probably I'm assuming she
would probably say that because everybody, and she said in
this article when she talks about co parents and having
to figure out her situation after that very public separation
(09:06):
that we talked about, nobody has it all figured out,
but eventually you get to a place of peace and understanding.
And for n a long and looking at her career
in the way that people have regarded her as a
nineties beauty and all the.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Things that's something to aspire to.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I think the way that people talk about you, in
my opinion, in this industry carries you in how you
are or how you are perceived when you walk in
before you're able to open your mouth and do so.
And I think, if you know nothing else about Nia Long,
you know she is gorgeous. You know she has had
some of the most iconic roles. She's been one of
the most impactful and iconic black faces actress wise, you
(09:44):
know since the nineties, and you know that there are
generations of women, especially US brown skinned girls that have
looked at nia Along for inspo. So we're we're not
just doing it because of beauty. It's like, Okay, she
getting money, she looks good. The family unit is, they're
just all the things. And I think we saw a
lot of how people regard Nia Long when the situation
(10:07):
with her ex in, her child's father, her youngest child's father, happened.
Because when everything came out, you know about the allegations
that were being thrown his way, and in real time,
Nia Long was being put in conversations of what was
done to her and her relationship as far as you know,
his infidelity, his alleged infidelity. The world came out swinging
(10:31):
like don't play with her like that. We not don't
play with our girl like that. And also Nia Long
has talked about I remember she did to sit down
with Jeezi and she talked about how she didn't feel
protected in that situation and not by us. Because again
we the people came out swinging for n Along, like
why is this even a public conversation, Why is this
(10:52):
being leaked to press into media at all, but she
said she felt she didn't feel protect or that the
necessary steps were taken by the organization he was working
with at the time and just people involved to protect
her in their situation in the the you know, the
fact that a lot of this should have remained anonymous,
(11:12):
But we move on. She also talks about co parenting
in this article. And to my surprise, because I'm be
honest with y'all, if I was knee along and I
had to go.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Through what she had to go through.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Because she's a public figure and this was you know
you're talking about. You know, he's a coach for the
Celtics at the time, and it's a very high profile situation,
it would be a bit hard for me to figure
out co parenting in the way she's describing in this article.
I get it, they have kids and they gotta figure
it out, but I.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Think I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
There would just be a level of hurt and distrust
that I don't know I would be able to as
easily get over. But maybe it's different when you got kids.
I don't have kids, Yeah, but she says. Neilong says,
this summer I travel with my youngest son and my ex.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Emay, we had a great time.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
And that's what I mean by I don't know if
I could get to this point where yall are seeing
us out in public traveling together. You know, we've shown
up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball, basketball soccer
games together.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
That's one thing.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That's easy to say, Okay, they're both here because of
like whatever, but traveling on trips together. Her kid can
easily go with his father and take that same trip.
It's a very big step for you guys to be
doing that together, she says. This summer, I travel with
my youngest son and my ex. We had a great time.
I've never walked that much in my life, but it
was really beautiful because we've had a very public journey
(12:42):
that has found its way to peace and understanding, and
there's a lot of mutual respect that we have for
each other. The most important gift you can give your
kids is to.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Heal your trauma.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And that's what I mean by Look, I don't have kids,
so me right now, I'm speaking from a place of
that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the
top of my stomach, and every single time I would
have to engage. It would just come up like that
look that come up like the spirits in me. Okay,
it would hit me like the Holy ghost every single time.
I had to just see the person in real life.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Anyway. But listen, maybe.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Kids give you a different sense of strength that I
don't have yet, in a different sense of needing for peace,
because I'm all here for peace. But my piece is
I never have to see you again nor talk to you.
They don't have a choice here, She says. I don't
talk much about my personal life because it's no one's business,
but every now and then people speculate on social media,
(13:35):
and it's like me and Coach are good. I hope
he wins. He deserves to win. He really, he's really
great at what he does. We can have experiences with
our son and make him the priority. They're still healing
to be done and understanding to be had. But the
past is the past. And that's what I think to me,
is that is what is so like, Oh my god, Lauren,
(13:55):
you might need to grow up like so remarkable and
profound here because I can understand piece is piece. There's
no issue. But I think that's easier said than done.
When again, I don't have to deal with anybody that
I've dealt with in the past, I don't have to
deal with them.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
We have no strings attached, not a thing. Okay, love
that for me.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Love it like I really.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
At this point, I don't even have an ex.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I've never dated anybody besides the date, but a person
I'm dating right now. That is how I handle, you know,
life at this point, and.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
That brings me peace.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
But it's a bit different here, especially too, I think
even if they didn't share a son together, it's a
bit different because again, it was so high profile, so
you're always attached to that person once it's high profile
and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline.
She says, they're still healing. It needs to be done,
and I understanding to be had. But the past is
the past. I'm not going to carry burthen some energy
with me because that just transfers to my children and
(14:51):
it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working
on menia, all right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud
of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents,
and we're able to make this an annual thing and
commit to these last sweet years of him being in
grade school and high school before he goes off to college.
We're both going to be standing there and watching him graduate.
(15:11):
And I mean, I think this is the place that
you have to arrive to, especially with a kid grade
school ages that's a big kid. Your kid is on
social so your kid is hearing things, seeing things, and
even if your kid is not directly on social, their
friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club
about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the
(15:34):
Cowboy Carter tour. Y'all remember in the beginning of the tour,
people were, you know, having some things to say about
her dancing and her choreography, especially because I mean, Beyonce
is her mom. But Matthew Knows told Carlos King on
Reality with the King that social media was the reason
(15:54):
that Blue Ivy went basically got in a gym.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
So I think at this point, when you you have
a kid that is.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This old and also too you know nia long and
you know her ex were together for some time and
they're just in different spaces a lot more mature than
I am, you don't have a choice but to get
to this place and I think that it's important because
you have so much going on day to day. And
don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring any bad feelings
or ill will for anybody in my past. I think
I've gotten to a point too where I'm like, I
(16:22):
don't even know if these people deserve that energy, but.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't interact with anyone. I think if I were
to have to interact.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
With any X that I had any bad breakup situation with, honestly,
like my my last situation, if I were to walk
past him to day or tomorrow, it would be nothing
like literally even if you were to speak and just
be like, oh hey, what's up.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
But it's taking time for me to get there.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
And I've had the luxury of not having an interact
and just acting like he fell off the edge of
the earth because it's what I needed and I'm sure
it's what he needed as well too. But I'd also
gotten to a place by the end of that where
like it wasn't like abrupt like it seems like me
a long situation with her ex and her child's or
her youngest son's father was very like she didn't have
a choice, Like it was like everything hit the news
(17:09):
and it was just like, Okay, is Nea Long gonna
go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I
think she did have a choice. Let me not say
that she did have a choice, but I think there
is pressure when you know you got the whole world
and all these girls who are doing a short hair
like Na Long and a brown lip line and looking
up to you about what are you gonna do in
this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only humans.
(17:32):
So it's like you could take your baby father back
like ten eleven times, right, he don't come pick up
the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas.
You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them,
you can take them back. Cool the men in nia
along decides to take anybody back, or we get a
photo of them on this vacation and it's picked up
the wrong way as if they might be trying to
(17:52):
figure things out. Baby you The same person in the
comments like I cannot believe her. She is a role
model for black people. Forget that celebrities are human. But
I mean Neolong stood in where she stood in, and
I think that's always been one of the things again
that you know, you look at people when you admire
about them, It's like it seems Neia don't take no shit,
is what it seems like, and be it as it may.
(18:15):
She's grown up in an industry where she can't, so
that goes into so many other parts of her life.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
She continues to.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Say, I talk about my kids a lot because they
take up so much space in my life and my heart.
Everything I do is for them. I'm not a perfect mother.
I've made any mistakes. My kids have seen me go
through it. But that's the type of mother I am.
If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See, that's so crazy that
I said that. I hadn't even read this paragraph in
prep for today's episode. I just I've never met Nia long,
(18:43):
but just from watching her in interviews and how she's
navigated her career in her characters too, and I like
in her characters. But I think it gets to a
certain point where you know, when you're in a certain
part of your career, you get to pick and choose
kind of what you're playing and why you're playing it,
and you know you're very mindful about what you're picking.
(19:03):
And she's been able to craft almost like a brand
or a conversation for herself through her characters. Now this
next part of the article, and we want to end
here because I want to open it up for conversation
from you guys. This next part of the article hit
(19:23):
me very close to home. So they talk to me
along about being in her thirties, and then they talk
to me along about being in her fifties. So she says,
your thirties are time to experience everything around you, so
that by the time you get to the age where
you decide I want to get married or I want
to have kids, or I don't want to get married,
but I still want to have children, you've been open
(19:44):
enough to have these experiences to narrow down your purpose.
I think thirty is definitely the time where you start
thinking purpose, Like you think you know purpose and you
think you know, Oh my God, this is why God
put me here and the world deserves to get this
version of me.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
No, I think thirty is where you at least.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I don't think you get it fully in your thirties,
but I think you start thinking about it in a
real way and things start hitting you differently, especially if
you're coming into your thirties with kids or thinking about
half them.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
She says.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
When I was thirty, I was like, and I'm thirty three.
That's why it just hit me so close to home.
She says, When I was thirty, I was like, Okay,
I want to have my first child by thirty. I
thought I was going to have my first child at
twenty five, like that was always my thing before I
got to college. When I got to college, I was like,
twenty five is not happening. Okay, I need my years
back that I just spent in college. We're gonna look
(20:31):
at thirty five. Now I'm thirty three, and I'm like,
oh god.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
She says.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, I want
to have my first child by thirty. And it was
always weird because I never said I wanted to be married.
Marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant
to be, that would happen. I had my first child
at thirty and my second one at forty. I was
so hyper focused on surviving that I probably should have
had more fun. So I think there's a healthy balance
(20:56):
between being intentional about your focus, your passion into just
say fuck it and have fun. You're gonna have plenty
of years to grind it out. That part hit me
because one of my biggest things right now is, you know,
I'm open to the idea of beginning to plan having
my children.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I don't want to have children right now. This is
not the time. I think.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I'm just beginning to build like foundation in a real
way for myself career wise, and that's very important for
me to I know it won't be all figured out,
but I do want a certain.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Foundation before I have my kids.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
But when she said she at one point was planning
her children, and she was just like, you know, if
marriage happens, it happens.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I want to be married. I want the family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
That is something I've always said, but I realize this
year that I've been even though I've always said that.
And a big part of that is because I didn't
grow up with my father in my house. I met
my dad when I was like thirteen. I can pick
up the phone and call him. He may or he
may not answer. It depends on what he's going through
that day.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
And if he.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Answers, how well our conversation goes depends on him his
energy that day. And I mean my dad watches and
listens to everything gets upset when I say things like that,
but it's the honest truth and the reason why I
bring that up. It's not a stab at him. It's
just that I realized this year has created an idea
in my mind of like, Okay, I want to be
(22:21):
married and I want the family dynamic because it's not
what I had traditionally in my house.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
My brother's dad was around, I have a lot of
uncles and like all of that, so I was straight.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I never knew I needed for a man in the
household until I met people who had their dads in
their house. But it's so it's created this idea that, yes,
I want all of this stuff because I didn't have it,
and I know it's needed, but I.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Don't even really know why, like like what is the need?
Like like why am I saying that?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Like I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen.
But I think this past so not this past summer.
It was the summer prior to that about yeah, the
summer when I came home from LA and I was
in transition, so it was you know, I had done
a little bit of a guest host in twenty twenty
three breakfast Club. That was the first time that me
and my dad spent like actual real time together because
(23:14):
he was helping me renovate an event space that I
had at the time. And I remember one day we
were on the phone with a contractors or it was
like a painting company. It was a painting company, like
a paint store. And my dad has an interior decorating
business that's painting and all the things, so that's why
he was there helping me. And there were two conversations actually,
so this is the first one. So I was on
the phone with the paint store and I'm talking through
(23:35):
things and he's telling me what to say, and I
think I said something wrong or like they told me
they didn't have something that like it didn't make sense
for them not to have, and he took the phone
and the way that they talked to him, it was
a guy on the phone, the way that he talked
to my dad, and just I don't know the level
of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly because a
(23:55):
man got in the phone, got on the phone and
kind of just like took over and I was able
to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of like, oh,
this is what having a dad around is like. And
for like, I literally remember that, and that's something as
small as like ordering paint from a paint store, but
I just remember the reassurance of like, my dad got it,
(24:19):
and like the reassurance of oh, a man is here.
So it feels like like there's like a safer space
or like a you know, like I never felt that before,
so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's
your father versus like, you know, my brother's dad, and
even that him and my mom weren't together getting too personal.
My whole point is is that when I read this
from Nia Long, I realized that when she says and
(24:42):
it was always weird because I never said I wanted
to be married.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That's different for me.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I've always said I wanted to be married, but she
says marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
To be, that would happen.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I think, in my mind, I'm saying this is what
I want, but my actions I was moving like, I mean,
I can deal with whoever, even if I don't see
my forever or this being the father of my children,
because that's just gonna find me like the great man
who's the father of my children, but not just the
(25:14):
father of my children, but my life partner and my husband.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Oh, that'll just find me.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I don't need to be intentional because it'll just snap
into or it'll just happen.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
No.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I got to a certain point being single and being
in my thirties and really starting to like think through
what I want my like this thing over here on
the left of me that I'm saying I want like
marriage and children, and like I don't just want a
man in my house and to be married because I
didn't see that. I want a real life partner. I
(25:44):
want my kids to see me happy. I want my
kids to see me working through things and it actually
working out when I'm not happy. I want my kids
to see me being respected, valued, and I want my
kids to see me doing that to someone as well.
And I, oh, my god, Like this past year has
just been even the way I speak about kids, I
(26:05):
say my kids, and I've had to learn how to
be like our kids and our because in my mind
marriage and all that, it was just like I'm gonna
do that because it hasn't been done and I haven't
seen it, not because I truly felt like I was
ever gonna find a person that was my actual like, Okay,
this is my partner, We're equally yoked. This is what
(26:27):
my children need, not just this is what I want
for them. That whole little line right there, Oh, it's
just gonna happen. It'll just fall in the place. Felt that,
And that's where I was up until this year thirty three.
And then she compares it to her her fifties, and
she says, I'm turning fifty five this year. My sixties
are around the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but
(26:47):
I still feel like I'm in my thirties. I felt smarter,
I feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over
the past couple of years. Most of my relationships are
in a really good place. And I did it for myself.
I didn't do it for anyone else.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Don't get me wrong. There are days that I want
to go in we all have that.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
But when I feel that pressure or that angst, or
that anxiety, or that need to have a deeper understanding
of something or someone, I tend to get quiet and
think about what I'm going through rather than whatever the
outside circumstance is and then you can approach things differently.
I'm not in my fifties, but I feel like I've
begin to do that a bit differently. And maybe it's
too it's because of like Nia Long has been famous
(27:26):
and has been had platform and success in a public
eye for a really long time. Everything's just starting for me,
like and I'm such a I'm like, you know, small fish,
huge pond on this platform that is.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Like, you know, elevating things every single day for me.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things,
how I respond to things, so much more and so
differently than how I've ever been because my only thought is,
you can't f this up.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
This is your shot.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You cannot mess this up, and anything you do can
has a chance to hear the public. You cannot mess
this up. So I mean this article, and I didn't
even fully go through everything, but this article in reading
about Nia along and just you know where her thinking
is today, from where she's come from and where she's
been and where she's going. She talks about you know,
she's dropping a memoir soon, she has a project coming
(28:18):
up with Lorenz Tape.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It was a great read. It was a great read,
and I think you know here on.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
The last with Laurena Rosea, I think one of the
things that it's beautiful is that we get to talk
about things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
We get to really have a conversation. This was, you know,
something that made me reflect.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Would love for you guys to go read the article
on the cut, the feature on Nia along. Let me
know what you guys think, Get in the comments, get
in you know, the tweets. Take it to the streets
and the tweets.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
You call the truths. We outside, we outside, we outside outside.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Every other page, I want to hear from you guys,
ladies especially like the ladies. I would love to hear
from you guys because I think that conversation of like
have it all.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
We're having it a lot more now and we.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
See people who do it like I commend Cardi b
I commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the
women that are able to because it's not easy whatsoever,
but it's scary. That is one of the things that
I am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question,
what is the dream that you are scared of most,
And I said becoming a mom. And I'm not scared
(29:28):
because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust,
I move in shape. You can take care of your
mother and your grandmother because the older people get, the
more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure
that out, I can figure out a child, especially with
a great partner on which I have. But the biggest
thing for me is how will it impact my career?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You know, you got to be fit.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
You gotta show it physically, mentally in ways like never
before when you're a woman on a platform and I'm
new here, so my girl, you only got one shot
comes in to thought so much when I think about
when am I gonna have kids? I want kids, twins
(30:13):
to start twin girls and they're gonna be all over YouTube.
But that's a whole another story. But yes, like that's
the that's one of my biggest Like I'm scared. It's
like I'm playing double dutch, like all right, when, all right?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
When?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Because I do want to plan it. I think my
career deserves a plane, a plan a bit. But I'm down,
you know, if not playing.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
But I'm scared. So hearing her talk about you know
just the way she.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Used to think about marriage, and you know she's okay
with having a career while having the family, and she's
always been that way, and she's always set out to
be that way.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So, ladies in
the streets, in the tweets, let me know what y'all think.
Is anybody else out there scared like me? Is this
thing going? I'm the only one. Let's talk.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
At the end of the day, you guys could be
anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all these things,
but you choose to be right here with me, my lowriders,
and I appreciate you guys for that.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I'm Laura l.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Rosa.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
This is the latest with Laura L. Rosa, and I
will see you guys in my next episode.
I'm a homegrowd that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody you don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's Lauren l Rosa and this is the latest with
Laura L Rosa. This is your DELI dig on all
things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of the conversations
that shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Now, today we are going to dive into an article.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
That was honestly just released.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
As I was heading here to the podcast, I saw
that this article was released and a major announcement about
this celebrity was released. So we're going to get into
all things nia Along today. And for those of you,
I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, I don't
know how you would be unfamiliar with nia Along. But
for those of you who are unfamiliar with nil honestly,
(00:47):
I don't even want to do that because if you
listen to this podcast and you're familiar with ni Along,
the rock you live under is not my problem.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We are not going to do that today. So nia Along, you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Know, actress, you know, just man like nia Along is
literally when I think I just saying actress to me
is a is an underscore is an undersell. I think
when you talk about Nia Long and what her career
has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak for
me personally, like she is an actress, and you know,
(01:19):
I visually when I say actress, see all of the
roles that she has played on camera, from Boys in
the Hood to I mean even even like recent things
she's done, Like you know, there's a movie I forget
what is it called. It's it's about uh. I only
remember her name in the movie CC Bloom because my
(01:41):
best friend Sierra that's what her family calls her.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Hold on one second Beaches.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, so from Boys in the Hood to I mean
fresh Prince of bel Air and of course Love Jones.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I mean it's Nia Along like Love Jones.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Like I just I literally just watched Beaches again on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Ne Along remade the ninety I.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Think it was an eighty film, the eighty film Beaches,
and she played CC Boom in the film. But I mean,
I just think of her as a nineties culture like architect,
and I feel like with Neil Long and she talks
about it, We're going to get into an interview that
(02:25):
she did for The Cut magazine and the headline of
the article says, ne Along isn't romanticized in the past.
She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the
next generation in Hollywood. And you know, I just think
about everything that Nia Long like stood for right as
a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful,
(02:46):
beautiful but like sexy, not afraid to say how she
feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me,
just watching her and I think about, you know, down
to They just announced that she is going to be
Este Lauder's first ever an ambassador for North America exclusively,
which means she'll get to do like TV deals and
(03:09):
her TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things
for the brand.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
But I'm like, duh, Like Nia Long not only is.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
A person that I watched on camera because she was
great at playing these characters in these roles and storytelling
and really just being the girl, you know, the girl
next door and the girl from around the way who
was so smart.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
You know, I remember boys in the hood.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I always thought that it was so fire that like
she was the girl that was like beautiful and she
was like there and she's around, but she's headed to
college and her head is on straight and she's fly
and she's sexy, and you know, I think for a
lot of us, you know, for me as a black
woman looking at that on TV, it was like, okay, cool,
Like I'm growing up as a girl around the way,
but there's more to just my neighborhood. But it's also
(03:54):
okay for me to still be very intertwined and indulged
and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when it's and set away,
it's time to step away. But also just being I mean,
I don't know her beauty. To me, I'm like, duh
at Stay Louder and whoever else cover girl, all the brands, right,
But that came out today as well. So she did
this interview with The Cut and they talk about, you
(04:16):
know her and everything she's doing with Esday Louder, but
then they also get into just what being a woman
in her role.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Has meant for her.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So she's speaking with The Cut and they just starn't
really getting into her life.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And one of the things that is starting.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
To go superviral already is one of the quotes from
a part of the interview. So this part of the
interview they're talking to today along about balancing work and love,
and she says, I don't think there's ever been a
time in my life where I was willing to give
up my life to be someone's wife or girlfriend ever period.
(04:52):
And then she laughs. She says, I don't care how
difficult the journey has been. I think you can have both.
And she's talking about the love and the career, which
has always been a conversation, especially you know, I mean
ni Al Long has been in this game for a
long time. Lean Long has kids. Nia Long has been
in a very public, you know, situation where her partner,
(05:14):
I May, I May. I'm probably saying his name wrong.
I May, who was coaching for the Celtics, you know,
at the time when all this stuff was going down
and there was the cheating allegations, and Neil Long like publicly,
that's like finding out you got cheated cheated on when
you at work and it's like it's nothing you can
do because you got to finish the shift.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But she's so pissed and your heart is broken.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Nia Long would do some things publicly with her youngest
son's father.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
She has two sons. Her youngest son's father.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I May, I believe it's I May I may, I may,
I may. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize. I
say a lot of people's names wrong, My bad.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been doing
a lot publicly.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But you know, even before that, she had the career,
she had the husban, been, she had the family, all
of the things. And she says, I never wanted to
wake up in my thirties and forties and say, well,
what is the value of my life? She says, Now,
don't get me wrong, I my are women who are
committed to being stay at home wives and running a
house and raising the children. That's a job. But I
(06:17):
also know that those children grow up, and when they
grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a working mom,
a single mom, or stay at home mom, there's a
moment that every woman feels like, Okay, now it's time
to recreate who I am. Now it's time to tap
into my passion because there's so much pouring out.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
It's like to give or take.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's basically like, okay, now your cup is empty and
you got to refiel it.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
So you got to give back somewhere.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
She says, I just have never been willing to give
up my career and my dreams and my aspirations for
a man. I think it's beautiful to have a partnership,
but I don't need to be taken care of. It's
nice to be treated, it's nice for a man to
financially be giving. I love all of that. I'm here
for all of that, and it's actually like a prerequisit right, Yes, girl,
I am. That's one of the biggest things I'm learning.
(07:00):
It's nothing wrong with that being a prerequisite. The twenty
twenty five and this whole list of where people won't
eat and will eat on the date.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I ain't going to a chain restaurant.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
All that will make you feel like having prerequisites or
things that you want when it comes to finances is
a bad thing as a woman, which is crazy to me.
You don't got to be you know. I'm not the
type that's like if my men don't.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Or can't, I won't.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
But you do want it, and I want to be
honest about the fact that I want that, So I
love the Neolong said that. Here she says, you got
to come with all the presents, she laughs, the offerings,
The surprise is the trips. That's the icing on the cake.
That's where I get to be soft. That's where I
get to be a girl's girl. I'm sorry, That's where
I get to be a girly girl. Felt feltic. So
(07:44):
when I think about Neolong and I think about, you know,
since the nineties, how long Neolong has been in this
industry and been relevant in this industry. I mean, the
minute I think about ni Along, I think about the
line short hair like Neolon, like her beauty has been
focus short hair, night like ne Along. People think of nineties,
you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip, brown glass, soul food,
(08:09):
love Jones, the flipped up Bob. Anytime I do short hair,
brown lip, it's all even my shirt today, my shirt today.
I don't know if you guys can see it well
because I'm sitting down, but it's very much na Along
soul Food inspired.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
When I put this on today, I was like, oh,
I just.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes very much
reminiscent of ne Along.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Always an inspo. But it's not just about her look.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I think it's always for a lot of us, you know,
women that are trying to figure this out.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
We model and or we model and we look at
women who.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Seem like they have it all figured out, And I say,
I say it seem like not as a knock to
what Neilong may have or may not have figured out.
But you know, I just know people always say I
look like I haven't figured out, but I don't not
about me. But like she would probably I'm assuming she
would probably say that because everybody, and she said in
this article when she talks about co parents and having
to figure out her situation after that very public separation
(09:06):
that we talked about, nobody has it all figured out,
but eventually you get to a place of peace and understanding.
And for n a long and looking at her career
in the way that people have regarded her as a
nineties beauty and all the.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Things that's something to aspire to.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I think the way that people talk about you, in
my opinion, in this industry carries you in how you
are or how you are perceived when you walk in
before you're able to open your mouth and do so.
And I think, if you know nothing else about Nia Long,
you know she is gorgeous. You know she has had
some of the most iconic roles. She's been one of
the most impactful and iconic black faces actress wise, you
(09:44):
know since the nineties, and you know that there are
generations of women, especially US brown skinned girls that have
looked at nia Along for inspo. So we're we're not
just doing it because of beauty. It's like, Okay, she
getting money, she looks good. The family unit is, they're
just all the things. And I think we saw a
lot of how people regard Nia Long when the situation
(10:07):
with her ex in, her child's father, her youngest child's father, happened.
Because when everything came out, you know about the allegations
that were being thrown his way, and in real time,
Nia Long was being put in conversations of what was
done to her and her relationship as far as you know,
his infidelity, his alleged infidelity. The world came out swinging
(10:31):
like don't play with her like that. We not don't
play with our girl like that. And also Nia Long
has talked about I remember she did to sit down
with Jeezi and she talked about how she didn't feel
protected in that situation and not by us. Because again
we the people came out swinging for n Along, like
why is this even a public conversation, Why is this
(10:52):
being leaked to press into media at all, but she
said she felt she didn't feel protect or that the
necessary steps were taken by the organization he was working
with at the time and just people involved to protect
her in their situation in the the you know, the
fact that a lot of this should have remained anonymous,
(11:12):
But we move on. She also talks about co parenting
in this article. And to my surprise, because I'm be
honest with y'all, if I was knee along and I
had to go.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Through what she had to go through.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Because she's a public figure and this was you know
you're talking about. You know, he's a coach for the
Celtics at the time, and it's a very high profile situation,
it would be a bit hard for me to figure
out co parenting in the way she's describing in this article.
I get it, they have kids and they gotta figure
it out, but I.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Think I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
There would just be a level of hurt and distrust
that I don't know I would be able to as
easily get over. But maybe it's different when you got kids.
I don't have kids, Yeah, but she says. Neilong says,
this summer I travel with my youngest son and my ex.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Emay, we had a great time.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
And that's what I mean by I don't know if
I could get to this point where yall are seeing
us out in public traveling together. You know, we've shown
up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball, basketball soccer
games together.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
That's one thing.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That's easy to say, Okay, they're both here because of
like whatever, but traveling on trips together. Her kid can
easily go with his father and take that same trip.
It's a very big step for you guys to be
doing that together, she says. This summer, I travel with
my youngest son and my ex. We had a great time.
I've never walked that much in my life, but it
was really beautiful because we've had a very public journey
(12:42):
that has found its way to peace and understanding, and
there's a lot of mutual respect that we have for
each other. The most important gift you can give your
kids is to.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Heal your trauma.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And that's what I mean by Look, I don't have kids,
so me right now, I'm speaking from a place of
that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the
top of my stomach, and every single time I would
have to engage. It would just come up like that
look that come up like the spirits in me. Okay,
it would hit me like the Holy ghost every single time.
I had to just see the person in real life.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Anyway. But listen, maybe.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Kids give you a different sense of strength that I
don't have yet, in a different sense of needing for peace,
because I'm all here for peace. But my piece is
I never have to see you again nor talk to you.
They don't have a choice here, She says. I don't
talk much about my personal life because it's no one's business,
but every now and then people speculate on social media,
(13:35):
and it's like me and Coach are good. I hope
he wins. He deserves to win. He really, he's really
great at what he does. We can have experiences with
our son and make him the priority. They're still healing
to be done and understanding to be had. But the
past is the past. And that's what I think to me,
is that is what is so like, Oh my god, Lauren,
(13:55):
you might need to grow up like so remarkable and
profound here because I can understand piece is piece. There's
no issue. But I think that's easier said than done.
When again, I don't have to deal with anybody that
I've dealt with in the past, I don't have to
deal with them.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
We have no strings attached, not a thing. Okay, love
that for me.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Love it like I really.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
At this point, I don't even have an ex.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I've never dated anybody besides the date, but a person
I'm dating right now. That is how I handle, you know,
life at this point, and.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
That brings me peace.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
But it's a bit different here, especially too, I think
even if they didn't share a son together, it's a
bit different because again, it was so high profile, so
you're always attached to that person once it's high profile
and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline.
She says, they're still healing. It needs to be done,
and I understanding to be had. But the past is
the past. I'm not going to carry burthen some energy
with me because that just transfers to my children and
(14:51):
it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working
on menia, all right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud
of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents,
and we're able to make this an annual thing and
commit to these last sweet years of him being in
grade school and high school before he goes off to college.
We're both going to be standing there and watching him graduate.
(15:11):
And I mean, I think this is the place that
you have to arrive to, especially with a kid grade
school ages that's a big kid. Your kid is on
social so your kid is hearing things, seeing things, and
even if your kid is not directly on social, their
friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club
about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the
(15:34):
Cowboy Carter tour. Y'all remember in the beginning of the tour,
people were, you know, having some things to say about
her dancing and her choreography, especially because I mean, Beyonce
is her mom. But Matthew Knows told Carlos King on
Reality with the King that social media was the reason
(15:54):
that Blue Ivy went basically got in a gym.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
So I think at this point, when you you have
a kid that is.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This old and also too you know nia long and
you know her ex were together for some time and
they're just in different spaces a lot more mature than
I am, you don't have a choice but to get
to this place and I think that it's important because
you have so much going on day to day. And
don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring any bad feelings
or ill will for anybody in my past. I think
I've gotten to a point too where I'm like, I
(16:22):
don't even know if these people deserve that energy, but.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't interact with anyone. I think if I were
to have to interact.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
With any X that I had any bad breakup situation with, honestly,
like my my last situation, if I were to walk
past him to day or tomorrow, it would be nothing
like literally even if you were to speak and just
be like, oh hey, what's up.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
But it's taking time for me to get there.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
And I've had the luxury of not having an interact
and just acting like he fell off the edge of
the earth because it's what I needed and I'm sure
it's what he needed as well too. But I'd also
gotten to a place by the end of that where
like it wasn't like abrupt like it seems like me
a long situation with her ex and her child's or
her youngest son's father was very like she didn't have
a choice, Like it was like everything hit the news
(17:09):
and it was just like, Okay, is Nea Long gonna
go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I
think she did have a choice. Let me not say
that she did have a choice, but I think there
is pressure when you know you got the whole world
and all these girls who are doing a short hair
like Na Long and a brown lip line and looking
up to you about what are you gonna do in
this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only humans.
(17:32):
So it's like you could take your baby father back
like ten eleven times, right, he don't come pick up
the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas.
You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them,
you can take them back. Cool the men in nia
along decides to take anybody back, or we get a
photo of them on this vacation and it's picked up
the wrong way as if they might be trying to
(17:52):
figure things out. Baby you The same person in the
comments like I cannot believe her. She is a role
model for black people. Forget that celebrities are human. But
I mean Neolong stood in where she stood in, and
I think that's always been one of the things again
that you know, you look at people when you admire
about them, It's like it seems Neia don't take no shit,
is what it seems like, and be it as it may.
(18:15):
She's grown up in an industry where she can't, so
that goes into so many other parts of her life.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
She continues to.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Say, I talk about my kids a lot because they
take up so much space in my life and my heart.
Everything I do is for them. I'm not a perfect mother.
I've made any mistakes. My kids have seen me go
through it. But that's the type of mother I am.
If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See, that's so crazy that
I said that. I hadn't even read this paragraph in
prep for today's episode. I just I've never met Nia long,
(18:43):
but just from watching her in interviews and how she's
navigated her career in her characters too, and I like
in her characters. But I think it gets to a
certain point where you know, when you're in a certain
part of your career, you get to pick and choose
kind of what you're playing and why you're playing it,
and you know you're very mindful about what you're picking.
(19:03):
And she's been able to craft almost like a brand
or a conversation for herself through her characters. Now this
next part of the article, and we want to end
here because I want to open it up for conversation
from you guys. This next part of the article hit
(19:23):
me very close to home. So they talk to me
along about being in her thirties, and then they talk
to me along about being in her fifties. So she says,
your thirties are time to experience everything around you, so
that by the time you get to the age where
you decide I want to get married or I want
to have kids, or I don't want to get married,
but I still want to have children, you've been open
(19:44):
enough to have these experiences to narrow down your purpose.
I think thirty is definitely the time where you start
thinking purpose, Like you think you know purpose and you
think you know, Oh my God, this is why God
put me here and the world deserves to get this
version of me.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
No, I think thirty is where you at least.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I don't think you get it fully in your thirties,
but I think you start thinking about it in a
real way and things start hitting you differently, especially if
you're coming into your thirties with kids or thinking about
half them.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
She says.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
When I was thirty, I was like, and I'm thirty three.
That's why it just hit me so close to home.
She says, When I was thirty, I was like, Okay,
I want to have my first child by thirty. I
thought I was going to have my first child at
twenty five, like that was always my thing before I
got to college. When I got to college, I was like,
twenty five is not happening. Okay, I need my years
back that I just spent in college. We're gonna look
(20:31):
at thirty five. Now I'm thirty three, and I'm like,
oh god.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
She says.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, I want
to have my first child by thirty. And it was
always weird because I never said I wanted to be married.
Marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant
to be, that would happen. I had my first child
at thirty and my second one at forty. I was
so hyper focused on surviving that I probably should have
had more fun. So I think there's a healthy balance
(20:56):
between being intentional about your focus, your passion into just
say fuck it and have fun. You're gonna have plenty
of years to grind it out. That part hit me
because one of my biggest things right now is, you know,
I'm open to the idea of beginning to plan having
my children.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I don't want to have children right now. This is
not the time. I think.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I'm just beginning to build like foundation in a real
way for myself career wise, and that's very important for
me to I know it won't be all figured out,
but I do want a certain.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Foundation before I have my kids.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
But when she said she at one point was planning
her children, and she was just like, you know, if
marriage happens, it happens.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I want to be married. I want the family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
That is something I've always said, but I realize this
year that I've been even though I've always said that.
And a big part of that is because I didn't
grow up with my father in my house. I met
my dad when I was like thirteen. I can pick
up the phone and call him. He may or he
may not answer. It depends on what he's going through
that day.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
And if he.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Answers, how well our conversation goes depends on him his
energy that day. And I mean my dad watches and
listens to everything gets upset when I say things like that,
but it's the honest truth and the reason why I
bring that up. It's not a stab at him. It's
just that I realized this year has created an idea
in my mind of like, Okay, I want to be
(22:21):
married and I want the family dynamic because it's not
what I had traditionally in my house.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
My brother's dad was around, I have a lot of
uncles and like all of that, so I was straight.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I never knew I needed for a man in the
household until I met people who had their dads in
their house. But it's so it's created this idea that, yes,
I want all of this stuff because I didn't have it,
and I know it's needed, but I.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Don't even really know why, like like what is the need?
Like like why am I saying that?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Like I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen.
But I think this past so not this past summer.
It was the summer prior to that about yeah, the
summer when I came home from LA and I was
in transition, so it was you know, I had done
a little bit of a guest host in twenty twenty
three breakfast Club. That was the first time that me
and my dad spent like actual real time together because
(23:14):
he was helping me renovate an event space that I
had at the time. And I remember one day we
were on the phone with a contractors or it was
like a painting company. It was a painting company, like
a paint store. And my dad has an interior decorating
business that's painting and all the things, so that's why
he was there helping me. And there were two conversations actually,
so this is the first one. So I was on
the phone with the paint store and I'm talking through
(23:35):
things and he's telling me what to say, and I
think I said something wrong or like they told me
they didn't have something that like it didn't make sense
for them not to have, and he took the phone
and the way that they talked to him, it was
a guy on the phone, the way that he talked
to my dad, and just I don't know the level
of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly because a
(23:55):
man got in the phone, got on the phone and
kind of just like took over and I was able
to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of like, oh,
this is what having a dad around is like. And
for like, I literally remember that, and that's something as
small as like ordering paint from a paint store, but
I just remember the reassurance of like, my dad got it,
(24:19):
and like the reassurance of oh, a man is here.
So it feels like like there's like a safer space
or like a you know, like I never felt that before,
so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's
your father versus like, you know, my brother's dad, and
even that him and my mom weren't together getting too personal.
My whole point is is that when I read this
from Nia Long, I realized that when she says and
(24:42):
it was always weird because I never said I wanted
to be married.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That's different for me.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I've always said I wanted to be married, but she
says marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
To be, that would happen.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I think, in my mind, I'm saying this is what
I want, but my actions I was moving like, I mean,
I can deal with whoever, even if I don't see
my forever or this being the father of my children,
because that's just gonna find me like the great man
who's the father of my children, but not just the
(25:14):
father of my children, but my life partner and my husband.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Oh, that'll just find me.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I don't need to be intentional because it'll just snap
into or it'll just happen.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
No.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I got to a certain point being single and being
in my thirties and really starting to like think through
what I want my like this thing over here on
the left of me that I'm saying I want like
marriage and children, and like I don't just want a
man in my house and to be married because I
didn't see that. I want a real life partner. I
(25:44):
want my kids to see me happy. I want my
kids to see me working through things and it actually
working out when I'm not happy. I want my kids
to see me being respected, valued, and I want my
kids to see me doing that to someone as well.
And I, oh, my god, Like this past year has
just been even the way I speak about kids, I
(26:05):
say my kids, and I've had to learn how to
be like our kids and our because in my mind
marriage and all that, it was just like I'm gonna
do that because it hasn't been done and I haven't
seen it, not because I truly felt like I was
ever gonna find a person that was my actual like, Okay,
this is my partner, We're equally yoked. This is what
(26:27):
my children need, not just this is what I want
for them. That whole little line right there, Oh, it's
just gonna happen. It'll just fall in the place. Felt that,
And that's where I was up until this year thirty three.
And then she compares it to her her fifties, and
she says, I'm turning fifty five this year. My sixties
are around the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but
(26:47):
I still feel like I'm in my thirties. I felt smarter,
I feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over
the past couple of years. Most of my relationships are
in a really good place. And I did it for myself.
I didn't do it for anyone else.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Don't get me wrong. There are days that I want
to go in we all have that.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
But when I feel that pressure or that angst, or
that anxiety, or that need to have a deeper understanding
of something or someone, I tend to get quiet and
think about what I'm going through rather than whatever the
outside circumstance is and then you can approach things differently.
I'm not in my fifties, but I feel like I've
begin to do that a bit differently. And maybe it's
too it's because of like Nia Long has been famous
(27:26):
and has been had platform and success in a public
eye for a really long time. Everything's just starting for me,
like and I'm such a I'm like, you know, small fish,
huge pond on this platform that is.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Like, you know, elevating things every single day for me.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things,
how I respond to things, so much more and so
differently than how I've ever been because my only thought is,
you can't f this up.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
This is your shot.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You cannot mess this up, and anything you do can
has a chance to hear the public. You cannot mess
this up. So I mean this article, and I didn't
even fully go through everything, but this article in reading
about Nia along and just you know where her thinking
is today, from where she's come from and where she's
been and where she's going. She talks about you know,
she's dropping a memoir soon, she has a project coming
(28:18):
up with Lorenz Tape.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It was a great read. It was a great read,
and I think you know here on.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
The last with Laurena Rosea, I think one of the
things that it's beautiful is that we get to talk
about things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
We get to really have a conversation. This was, you know,
something that made me reflect.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Would love for you guys to go read the article
on the cut, the feature on Nia along. Let me
know what you guys think, Get in the comments, get
in you know, the tweets. Take it to the streets
and the tweets.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
You call the truths. We outside, we outside, we outside outside.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Every other page, I want to hear from you guys,
ladies especially like the ladies. I would love to hear
from you guys because I think that conversation of like
have it all.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
We're having it a lot more now and we.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
See people who do it like I commend Cardi b
I commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the
women that are able to because it's not easy whatsoever,
but it's scary. That is one of the things that
I am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question,
what is the dream that you are scared of most,
And I said becoming a mom. And I'm not scared
(29:28):
because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust,
I move in shape. You can take care of your
mother and your grandmother because the older people get, the
more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure
that out, I can figure out a child, especially with
a great partner on which I have. But the biggest
thing for me is how will it impact my career?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You know, you got to be fit.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
You gotta show it physically, mentally in ways like never
before when you're a woman on a platform and I'm
new here, so my girl, you only got one shot
comes in to thought so much when I think about
when am I gonna have kids? I want kids, twins
(30:13):
to start twin girls and they're gonna be all over YouTube.
But that's a whole another story. But yes, like that's
the that's one of my biggest Like I'm scared. It's
like I'm playing double dutch, like all right, when, all right?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
When?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Because I do want to plan it. I think my
career deserves a plane, a plan a bit. But I'm down,
you know, if not playing.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
But I'm scared. So hearing her talk about you know
just the way she.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Used to think about marriage, and you know she's okay
with having a career while having the family, and she's
always been that way, and she's always set out to
be that way.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So, ladies in
the streets, in the tweets, let me know what y'all think.
Is anybody else out there scared like me? Is this
thing going? I'm the only one. Let's talk.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
At the end of the day, you guys could be
anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all these things,
but you choose to be right here with me, my lowriders,
and I appreciate you guys for that.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I'm Laura l.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Rosa.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
This is the latest with Laura L. Rosa, and I
will see you guys in my next episode.
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!