This is the second half of Loren’s interview from this past weekend with Tim Ross and Noa Mills. In this section we talk about praying away and personal responsibility when it comes to healing. We also take some questions from the audience!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jewis.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
And everybody, you know, if you don't lie about that, right,
l Hey, guys, what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's Laura l. Rosa and this is the Latest with
Laura L.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Rosa.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news,
and all of the conversations that shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Now today we are getting back into another part of
a conversation that I had with Spiritual Leader podcaster Faith
Leader Tim Ross and Noah Mills, who is a mental
health advocate and former Miss Delaware, USA.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But this time we're talking about the fact that you
cannot pray it away. Now, a lot of y'all know
what I'm talking about when it comes to mental health things,
when it comes to things you're dealing with, when it
comes to the things that you were just going to
the people and saying, hey, I need some help about
we all been told just get down and pray, baby,
that don't work.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And we're going to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Talk a bit about because I'm saying, you know, you've
been very intentional about even how you talk about therapy,
comparing it to that regular health check ups, right, and
doing this to your church.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Praying away has been here for a very, very long time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
What's been your battle with trying to turn the conversation
away from praying away in your church, to get people
into a space where they understand that no, something's wrong.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
Yeah, trying to create safe spaces in church.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
This is so difficult, and it's a major frustration for
me because in church we want to deal with present
and future, like get safe, see what God did and
what it's gonna do. Right, we quit to Jeremiah twenty
nine eleven. Everybody go get tattooed Jeremi twenty nine eleven.
If I know the good things that I have for you,
(01:49):
said the Lord. And it's like, if we don't deal
with this in the past, it's gonna mess up your
present and your future work.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
But if you don't have a safe space to say
what it is, then you can't even look.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
I got I was sexually abused by an older teenage
boy when I was.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Eight years old, Okay, for like a six month period
of time.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
The only way to endure that kind of trauma at
eight years old was to disassociate, So I was never
present in my body because I had to survive my trauma.
So I just disappeared. I just I'm gonna play basketball later.
Let me think about that until this is over. So
now I'm saved.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
All that trauma is still in my body, and I'm
goosed to pray, what a way? Where where is it going?
I was sexualized at eight? Where is that going? So
I needed a safe space.
Speaker 5 (02:45):
The same space was created in my parents' house, who
were both passors by occasionally.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
For fifteen years. My mom caught me looking.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
At porn at two o'clock in the morning, very embarrassing.
When I take you caught, this is nineteen ninety five kart.
This is VCR, VHS, box TV car. This ain't on
your phone. You slip up real quick. This is fumbling
(03:17):
with the remote. Mommy went to the room and priye.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Because that's what she is. Mommy went to the room
to priye. After I cleaned myself up, I walked into
that room. I was a nineteen year old young man.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
But the eight year old finally talked to his mommy.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I'd have been in silence for eleven years.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
The eight year old finally got to tell mommy where
it hurt, my younger brother have been abused by the
same guy, and then.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Now it's a family emergency. At probably by.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Four o'clock in the morning, my mom, my dad, me
and my brother, we all got free.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Because we wasn't trying to pray away nothing. We was
processing pain.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
And after we had got everything up and out, now
we knew exactly what to pray for.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
We are telling people to pray before they have.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Time to process, and I can't properly pray until we
have process exactly what's going on. So if you can't
tell me where it's hurt, if the church could just
get away, if we could just throw away unknown prayer
requests or unspoken prayer requests, because after I got free,
people will turn down to the altered crying, like you
(04:51):
can tell the trauma's everybody.
Speaker 7 (04:54):
And then I'm like, what do you want prayer for?
Whatever the word shows you. He was about to show
me nothing. I'm not wasting out deserving on you because.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You won't do this to your dentist. You don't do
this to your doctor.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
You will walking there and be like, I got some
puss coming out.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But then you come down to the altar and then
we're vague. Just you know, I just been struggling this
week with what.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Say it?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Because whatever it doesn't come up and out of your
mouth will come up and out through your body. And
we don't want to send you home the same way
you came. But if you can't say it.
Speaker 7 (05:40):
And the church, I know we've said the church is
a hospital, but we also have to have altar workers
who are not frightened by sickness.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You would be crazy for a doctor to find out
you got the flu and be like you, guys, you
have the flu. So we have to stop being shocked
by sins that sin.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Manifest So I wanted to.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Take your time to open up for audience questions. Now
you could just come to the mic you have, can
you hear me now?
Speaker 8 (06:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Alright?
Speaker 9 (06:26):
You were on the leader's cut and you were talking
about how you started the basement that right, and you
had provision right, and you realize.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That you're back your friend's uh church.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
And he ain't tell you to do it right, and
you said that you started and you realized that you
had to turn around. Did you receive a man from
God and then I a director or did you just
know the turnaround and what told did that take or
any on your mental health?
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Did you feel shaming? Did you have to contact that?
And then how did you go out of the people
around you? Okay, so, thank you so much. Give me
your name, Sean Ay, I love you.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Okay, So I gotta give you all context of this
very very quickly.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Before I answered this question.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
So, I started a business with my friend and business
partner in late twenty twenty three. We started this company
and by January of twenty five, I had to depart
from the company, and I was very angry.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It was very hurtful.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
The way we had to bore our separate rays was
really on my nerves. Anyway, in July, while I'm on
my sabbatical, my friend Chris Durso has to preach out
of church and he preaches this message called.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
What Haven't written down Well? And let me give you
the chapter Joshua.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Chapter number nine is where Joshua goes into covenant with
the Gibbea Knights, but he does not consult the Lord.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Okay. So, while while.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
I'm listening to this message that Chris is preaching, the
Holy Spirit says to me, you didn't consult me before.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
You start at that company, and that's why it's failed.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
You did not get a word from me, And I
was like, you know that ugly pride comes in is
utanously when the Lord corrects you. So not only am
I honestly as a son, I'm thankful for the Lord's
correction because he disciplines those that he loves. Secondly, though,
(08:38):
I was so embarrassed, like how did I miss you?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Like I try to be so careful, how did I
miss you?
Speaker 5 (08:46):
And what he said was, you mistook your friend's provision.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Because my friend was a multi millionaire.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
You mistook his provision as God's confirmation. And I grew
up in a Pentecostal church that says, where there is vision,
there is provision. And he said, you mistook his provision
as a word from God.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
But ten, only a word from God is a word
from God. Provision is not a word from God. And
so after.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
I cried and repented and told my wife and told
my kids, and ultimately told our entire audience, which that's
how y'all found out, right.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And my staff and stuff. I didn't deal.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Obviously, I felt very hurt and disappointed that I missed
God like that. I didn't feel guilt or shame. But
what happened was afterwards I didn't trust myself for and
(09:56):
to be honest, I still don't trust myself to hear
God as confidently as I did in the past.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So what I've told the Lord very honestly is.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I don't trust myself now like I don't move with
the faith of Abraham right now.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I move with the fleeces of Giddion right now. Please
hold the spirit.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Don't be mad that I'm gonna need eighteenth confirmations before
I think this is you again because I missed it
so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I just I just want to know that this is
you for real, for real, for real. So I hope
that helps.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Okay, you know, so tim really quickly, Now that I
hear you speak and see how you act, I completely
understand now why people don't believe when I say I'm introverted.
(10:52):
So my question is, as someone who's introverted and navigating
a major shift in my content from what I thought
my niche would be to what God is now calling
me to speak on, how do I reconcile the discomfort
of visibility with obedience, especially when the new direction feels
emotionally heavier and spiritually.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
Deeper, man ask clarifying questions, what was your niche?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
My niche prior would be more so like well before
I got saved pastor I guess you would say.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Like it would look kind of hot, girlish, like you know,
out living life.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Doing whatever for sure? And what is it going to
be now?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
More centered around like mental health, fitness for wellness, a
little bit of fitness, and just like navigating life while
including the Lord but also understanding that things.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Happen gotta and what is the tension you're struggling with it?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
So right now it feels spiritually deeper and emotionally heavier
because I am introverted and I have a tendency to
shrink myself because I can be surface level like.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You made nobody else. She's sociable, but she's not personable,
got it.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
So when you make this transition, you're gonna lose some people,
right because people meet you in one phase of your life, yeah,
and that's where they want to keep you.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
And if you change at all, they're.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Like you were eating fish and now you're eating tacos.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't like you anymore. Unsubscribed.
Speaker 8 (12:30):
Right now that you have this assignment, you need to
approach it with the mindset.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Of an assignment.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
I am doing this intentionally because I know that this
is what God has me to do. I would rather
not be doing this, but obedience is better than sacrifice.
So the mindset that you take is not one of like,
oh my gosh, I don't have that mindset when it
comes to anything God tells me to do. But I
(13:06):
understand this is my assignment. I'm gonna do it. And
when I'm done doing this, I get to disappear.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, when I see people in public, I will take
all the photos. I will hug. I will do because
I'm grateful.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
I'm genuinely grateful that they're watching the content.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
They don't need to know that they're wearing me out.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
All of y'all are white men, wearing me out.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
You're just sitting looking and then I'm tired of all
of you.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Right now. But I will hug all.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Of y'all and tell y'all love you and need it.
But just the way that I'm wired, I recharge alone.
I don't recharge in a room full of people. I
recharge by myself. So when my son and I get
back to the hotel room, he's gonna watch Corey Kitchen,
and I'm going to watch something else on YouTube, our
private catchen under some panels episode and.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
We're gonna chop. So, so just make sure that your.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Assignment does it become something you think you're obligated to be.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You are not your assignment. You are doing your assignment.
So I hope that up.
Speaker 11 (14:29):
How you doing, simois to make sure that's old your day?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
So yeah, thank you. What's your name? My name is
Heabie mcghim. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Speaker 8 (14:38):
Man.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I love you. Thank you. Thank so. First thing is
the lastual mental health therapist, so this was near and
dear to me. Thank you. Thank you for the work
you do because you saved our lives. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Right, there's something you said earlier about trying to press
the wrong people.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And one thing I've noticed when I'm doing therapy with
my clients.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
And actually experienced to myself a lot recently, is understanding.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Who your audience is. How do you think that.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
Equates with a lot of us when we are starting
to follow the life path, getting imposter syndrome and wondering
if we're actually doing what we're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
You know, are we worthy of doing that? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
So I am a big believer in having a target audience.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I have never not had a target audience ever.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
The reason why now we don't like those that kind
of language in church because it feels very business and corporaty.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Like you ask a church, you know, as a leader
of our ass a leader.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Of a church where you call to reach, I'm called
to reach the whole city.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
The whole city don't like you. And even if they did,
the building, they're big enoughs. So you're not. You're delucial.
You don't have a target. Jesus had a target audience.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
His target audience wasn't us, it wasn't Gentimes.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It was the lost sheep of Israel. And because he
focused on them, we all got it.
Speaker 12 (16:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
If you don't focus on nobody, you ain't gonna reach
it nobody, right, So you have to know who your
target audience is.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
I'm gonna give you my who my two target audiences
were and then are Yeah it was and is, And
then I'll give you the impostile syndrome party.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So when I was a lead pastor for the seven years.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
When I was a lead pastor, I was talking to
a thirty year old Irish biracial girl whose.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Father was black and whose mother was white.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
She had a master's level education, and she loved God
and was looking for a community. That's who I preach
to every weekend. I wasn't preaching to nobody else. I
was speaking to a light skinned by racial chick every weekend.
And the church was filled from twenty year olds to
(17:19):
eighty year olds because I was talking to her.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
My theology was for her.
Speaker 13 (17:25):
Because she was gonna she was She was already popular
with her friends, so she's gonna bring up friends to
church because she was cute. She's gonna get some dude,
and some dudes gonna come in, not because he liked me,
but because like her.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But when he came in and hear me, he was
gonna be like that in a career.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I'm sorry, prej' can I hear that. I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me. I forgot where I was for half
a second. Lisa, I know I owe you one hundred dollars.
Two hundred dollars, yes, ma'am, I'm gonna give you three,
(18:04):
just to make sure, okay.
Speaker 6 (18:06):
So by focusing on her, that's how the church grew
as a podcaster.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I'm talking to a twenty five.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Year old guy who doesn't have a dad, And that's
all I'm talking to every day. It's a twenty five
year old who doesn't have a dad. Now at fifty
years old, where does my imposter syndrome creep in? Why
am I talking to these people? Yeah, surely somebody else
(18:40):
can do this younger, cooler or relevant.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Why is it me? It shouldn't be me. God, I tried.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I think my time has passed, and the Lord's like, no,
I still need.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
You here, stop playing with me.
Speaker 8 (18:55):
So it is the.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
You have to you have to be convinced that this
is what he has called you to do. Okay, thank
you on the spirit, and don't make it deeper than
your sonship.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
With God, right right?
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mental health professional podcaster Miss Delaware.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Stuff.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
She has so many hyphenics around what she was doing.
Let's not make it any bigger than I'm a son.
These are daughters, and we're brothers and sisters, because if not,
then it's like then it's like how many followers you got?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
And well my platform.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Is not as big as we all sons and daughters
doing what he told us to do.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
And just being he told us to do there, So
that's how I get over my IMPOSSI set. I hope
that's helpful.
Speaker 14 (20:03):
Thank you for being here and sharing your wisdom with
us and being part.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Of our healing journey. God bless you both.
Speaker 14 (20:10):
My question is, how do you when God is transitioning
you through different seasons of life, how do you practical
ways to basically redefining yourself setting finding your place in
the world, and truly finding the purpose and calling that
(20:31):
He has for your life in this new season?
Speaker 8 (20:36):
No one will take it.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
He's giving me the spirit pagers to tell me it's me.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Yes.
Speaker 11 (20:41):
I want to say I love your question because I
just identified with what you're saying so.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Topingly.
Speaker 11 (20:49):
Before I became this devia where I speak briefly about
being a clinical depression for six months that took me
out of college, and I was so badly upset with
God about a season in my life that I didn't
understand what He was.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Doing with me.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
And after I got out of that, I was continuing
to do my work.
Speaker 11 (21:12):
And after I was present for the suicide attempt at
my owner sibling, you know a lot of these things.
Everything kept pointing up and down and one thing will
happen bad, one thing will happen great, one thing will
happen bad.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I'll say, God, I'm.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
On a right track.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Remember what am I doing? What's going on? I have
so many questions.
Speaker 11 (21:28):
And one of the things that I want to tell
you that I've hope encourages your spirits sincerely, is a
miss up, down, good, bad, not understanding if this is
what I was supposed to be doing, or if it
feels right, or if it's making sense to me.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
It's not a shock to God.
Speaker 11 (21:48):
He has charted your path way before you got to
this season and the last season.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
He's going to be with during the.
Speaker 11 (21:55):
Next season, and every single step that you take. As
it's confusing to you, as you don't know what's next,
as you're concerned about who's leaving and who's coming and
why I don't know what the next step is. God's
already counseled to have peace over the fact that you're
not God and you do not have.
Speaker 8 (22:15):
To be.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Material.
Speaker 12 (22:26):
Last panel revolving around friendships, and this question is more
specific to Noah as one of my closest friends.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You were.
Speaker 12 (22:37):
A light in my life during one of the lowest
points in my life going through so much mental challenges,
fertility issues. You were that one of my friends that
were just there for me, and so this.
Speaker 14 (22:49):
Brought me to ask me questions about and took notes.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Sometimes when we're.
Speaker 12 (22:55):
In a certain kind of pain, it's really hard to
let people in, even the ones that you really care about.
But how did your faith God you and showing up
for me? Then my question as pertaining to for the
whole audience, what advice would you give to others and
the church You want to support loved ones without making
them feel like a burden.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Absolutely, and I love this question. This is Caitlyn.
Speaker 11 (23:18):
Everybody, everybody say, Hikitland, wonderful, afraid guys.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I love Caitlyn.
Speaker 11 (23:23):
Me and Calyn have been friends for quite some time
and we get to walk through life together.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
The same light that she feels up in to her
she's been to me. So grateful for you.
Speaker 11 (23:32):
Thank you for being here today. The faith in me that.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Caused me to show up in your season was because.
Speaker 11 (23:43):
My commitment to who God called me to be had
nothing to do with your lack of ability to let
people in.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
There are times where you have to be the Christ
to your neighbor.
Speaker 11 (23:59):
You sincerely have to take responsibility for the people in
your community. I'm not saying make everybody in this room
your responsibility, but your individual personal circle. When it's about mine,
I'm at the door. I don't even know about everybody else.
And Kayln's season that she's so shared transparently and not
(24:19):
understanding her fertility journey and being diagnosed.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
With get to be triosis.
Speaker 11 (24:24):
She didn't know what every day was gonna come with,
and sometimes she dinna have the words. I had the
understanding from God to go over to her house and
bring her food. I had the understanding from God to
go over to the house and check on her, to
call her.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
To text her, to make sure she was okay.
Speaker 11 (24:38):
I'm not asking anybody to go get the moon out
of the sky and bring it back.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
What I am asking you to do is.
Speaker 11 (24:45):
Make sure your walk with Christ is applicable in your
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
There are some things that we just make way too
big of anything.
Speaker 11 (24:54):
Nobody asked she just gather on this fool pit next
Sunday and come.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
With a sermon.
Speaker 11 (24:59):
I didn't ad to jump and do twelve backflips or
tumbled across the stage.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Or come here with a song. And dance in my
private life.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I know that I'm.
Speaker 11 (25:09):
Assigned to klin. So if she doesn't have the words,
well I guess I'm gonna go figure out what she
has to say. If she doesn't have anything but tears,
well I guess I'm supposed to sit here. If she
guess she doesn't know how to say, she hasn't eaten
to that, well I'm gonna make sure I drop something.
I'm just cause she didn't. But in my heart, to
honor God, you have to make sure that the people
(25:29):
in your life, if you love them like you say
you do, be about it.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Not in the good seasons, not in the bad seasons,
not when it gets.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Fine, not when there's a camera overund not gonna will
here standing here and there as an opportunity.
Speaker 11 (25:44):
There would be no need for one another to be
in each other's lives if God didn't know we needed
each other.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Can a person walk with them and be allowed out
of them? You're got a friend on that, No, guys,
I've enjoyed just listening to you, guys. I thought both
of you guys are amazing.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Thank you for joining me. You guys enjoyed the conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
I'm Laurna Rosa. This is the latest with Laura Rosa.
At the end of the day, I tell you, guys,
every episode my Lowriders, y'all could be anywhere with anybody
having a conversation about this, but y'all choose to be
right here with me. I appreciate y'all for that. I
will catch you in my next episode.
Jewis.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
And everybody, you know, if you don't lie about that, right,
l Hey, guys, what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's Laura l. Rosa and this is the Latest with
Laura L.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Rosa.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news,
and all of the conversations that shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Now today we are getting back into another part of
a conversation that I had with Spiritual Leader podcaster Faith
Leader Tim Ross and Noah Mills, who is a mental
health advocate and former Miss Delaware, USA.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But this time we're talking about the fact that you
cannot pray it away. Now, a lot of y'all know
what I'm talking about when it comes to mental health things,
when it comes to things you're dealing with, when it
comes to the things that you were just going to
the people and saying, hey, I need some help about
we all been told just get down and pray, baby,
that don't work.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And we're going to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Talk a bit about because I'm saying, you know, you've
been very intentional about even how you talk about therapy,
comparing it to that regular health check ups, right, and
doing this to your church.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Praying away has been here for a very, very long time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
What's been your battle with trying to turn the conversation
away from praying away in your church, to get people
into a space where they understand that no, something's wrong.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
Yeah, trying to create safe spaces in church.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
This is so difficult, and it's a major frustration for
me because in church we want to deal with present
and future, like get safe, see what God did and
what it's gonna do. Right, we quit to Jeremiah twenty
nine eleven. Everybody go get tattooed Jeremi twenty nine eleven.
If I know the good things that I have for you,
(01:49):
said the Lord. And it's like, if we don't deal
with this in the past, it's gonna mess up your
present and your future work.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
But if you don't have a safe space to say
what it is, then you can't even look.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
I got I was sexually abused by an older teenage
boy when I was.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Eight years old, Okay, for like a six month period
of time.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
The only way to endure that kind of trauma at
eight years old was to disassociate, So I was never
present in my body because I had to survive my trauma.
So I just disappeared. I just I'm gonna play basketball later.
Let me think about that until this is over. So
now I'm saved.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
All that trauma is still in my body, and I'm
goosed to pray, what a way? Where where is it going?
I was sexualized at eight? Where is that going? So
I needed a safe space.
Speaker 5 (02:45):
The same space was created in my parents' house, who
were both passors by occasionally.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
For fifteen years. My mom caught me looking.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
At porn at two o'clock in the morning, very embarrassing.
When I take you caught, this is nineteen ninety five kart.
This is VCR, VHS, box TV car. This ain't on
your phone. You slip up real quick. This is fumbling
(03:17):
with the remote. Mommy went to the room and priye.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Because that's what she is. Mommy went to the room
to priye. After I cleaned myself up, I walked into
that room. I was a nineteen year old young man.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
But the eight year old finally talked to his mommy.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I'd have been in silence for eleven years.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
The eight year old finally got to tell mommy where
it hurt, my younger brother have been abused by the
same guy, and then.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Now it's a family emergency. At probably by.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Four o'clock in the morning, my mom, my dad, me
and my brother, we all got free.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Because we wasn't trying to pray away nothing. We was
processing pain.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
And after we had got everything up and out, now
we knew exactly what to pray for.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
We are telling people to pray before they have.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Time to process, and I can't properly pray until we
have process exactly what's going on. So if you can't
tell me where it's hurt, if the church could just
get away, if we could just throw away unknown prayer
requests or unspoken prayer requests, because after I got free,
people will turn down to the altered crying, like you
(04:51):
can tell the trauma's everybody.
Speaker 7 (04:54):
And then I'm like, what do you want prayer for?
Whatever the word shows you. He was about to show
me nothing. I'm not wasting out deserving on you because.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You won't do this to your dentist. You don't do
this to your doctor.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
You will walking there and be like, I got some
puss coming out.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But then you come down to the altar and then
we're vague. Just you know, I just been struggling this
week with what.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Say it?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Because whatever it doesn't come up and out of your
mouth will come up and out through your body. And
we don't want to send you home the same way
you came. But if you can't say it.
Speaker 7 (05:40):
And the church, I know we've said the church is
a hospital, but we also have to have altar workers
who are not frightened by sickness.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You would be crazy for a doctor to find out
you got the flu and be like you, guys, you
have the flu. So we have to stop being shocked
by sins that sin.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Manifest So I wanted to.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Take your time to open up for audience questions. Now
you could just come to the mic you have, can
you hear me now?
Speaker 8 (06:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Alright?
Speaker 9 (06:26):
You were on the leader's cut and you were talking
about how you started the basement that right, and you
had provision right, and you realize.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That you're back your friend's uh church.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
And he ain't tell you to do it right, and
you said that you started and you realized that you
had to turn around. Did you receive a man from
God and then I a director or did you just
know the turnaround and what told did that take or
any on your mental health?
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Did you feel shaming? Did you have to contact that?
And then how did you go out of the people
around you? Okay, so, thank you so much. Give me
your name, Sean Ay, I love you.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Okay, So I gotta give you all context of this
very very quickly.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Before I answered this question.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
So, I started a business with my friend and business
partner in late twenty twenty three. We started this company
and by January of twenty five, I had to depart
from the company, and I was very angry.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It was very hurtful.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
The way we had to bore our separate rays was
really on my nerves. Anyway, in July, while I'm on
my sabbatical, my friend Chris Durso has to preach out
of church and he preaches this message called.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
What Haven't written down Well? And let me give you
the chapter Joshua.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Chapter number nine is where Joshua goes into covenant with
the Gibbea Knights, but he does not consult the Lord.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Okay. So, while while.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
I'm listening to this message that Chris is preaching, the
Holy Spirit says to me, you didn't consult me before.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
You start at that company, and that's why it's failed.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
You did not get a word from me, And I
was like, you know that ugly pride comes in is
utanously when the Lord corrects you. So not only am
I honestly as a son, I'm thankful for the Lord's
correction because he disciplines those that he loves. Secondly, though,
(08:38):
I was so embarrassed, like how did I miss you?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Like I try to be so careful, how did I
miss you?
Speaker 5 (08:46):
And what he said was, you mistook your friend's provision.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Because my friend was a multi millionaire.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
You mistook his provision as God's confirmation. And I grew
up in a Pentecostal church that says, where there is vision,
there is provision. And he said, you mistook his provision
as a word from God.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
But ten, only a word from God is a word
from God. Provision is not a word from God. And
so after.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
I cried and repented and told my wife and told
my kids, and ultimately told our entire audience, which that's
how y'all found out, right.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And my staff and stuff. I didn't deal.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Obviously, I felt very hurt and disappointed that I missed
God like that. I didn't feel guilt or shame. But
what happened was afterwards I didn't trust myself for and
(09:56):
to be honest, I still don't trust myself to hear
God as confidently as I did in the past.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So what I've told the Lord very honestly is.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I don't trust myself now like I don't move with
the faith of Abraham right now.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I move with the fleeces of Giddion right now. Please
hold the spirit.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Don't be mad that I'm gonna need eighteenth confirmations before
I think this is you again because I missed it
so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I just I just want to know that this is
you for real, for real, for real. So I hope
that helps.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Okay, you know, so tim really quickly, Now that I
hear you speak and see how you act, I completely
understand now why people don't believe when I say I'm introverted.
(10:52):
So my question is, as someone who's introverted and navigating
a major shift in my content from what I thought
my niche would be to what God is now calling
me to speak on, how do I reconcile the discomfort
of visibility with obedience, especially when the new direction feels
emotionally heavier and spiritually.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
Deeper, man ask clarifying questions, what was your niche?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
My niche prior would be more so like well before
I got saved pastor I guess you would say.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Like it would look kind of hot, girlish, like you know,
out living life.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Doing whatever for sure? And what is it going to
be now?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
More centered around like mental health, fitness for wellness, a
little bit of fitness, and just like navigating life while
including the Lord but also understanding that things.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Happen gotta and what is the tension you're struggling with it?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
So right now it feels spiritually deeper and emotionally heavier
because I am introverted and I have a tendency to
shrink myself because I can be surface level like.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You made nobody else. She's sociable, but she's not personable,
got it.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
So when you make this transition, you're gonna lose some people,
right because people meet you in one phase of your life, yeah,
and that's where they want to keep you.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
And if you change at all, they're.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Like you were eating fish and now you're eating tacos.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't like you anymore. Unsubscribed.
Speaker 8 (12:30):
Right now that you have this assignment, you need to
approach it with the mindset.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Of an assignment.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
I am doing this intentionally because I know that this
is what God has me to do. I would rather
not be doing this, but obedience is better than sacrifice.
So the mindset that you take is not one of like,
oh my gosh, I don't have that mindset when it
comes to anything God tells me to do. But I
(13:06):
understand this is my assignment. I'm gonna do it. And
when I'm done doing this, I get to disappear.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, when I see people in public, I will take
all the photos. I will hug. I will do because
I'm grateful.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
I'm genuinely grateful that they're watching the content.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
They don't need to know that they're wearing me out.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
All of y'all are white men, wearing me out.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
You're just sitting looking and then I'm tired of all
of you.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Right now. But I will hug all.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Of y'all and tell y'all love you and need it.
But just the way that I'm wired, I recharge alone.
I don't recharge in a room full of people. I
recharge by myself. So when my son and I get
back to the hotel room, he's gonna watch Corey Kitchen,
and I'm going to watch something else on YouTube, our
private catchen under some panels episode and.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
We're gonna chop. So, so just make sure that your.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Assignment does it become something you think you're obligated to be.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You are not your assignment. You are doing your assignment.
So I hope that up.
Speaker 11 (14:29):
How you doing, simois to make sure that's old your day?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
So yeah, thank you. What's your name? My name is
Heabie mcghim. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Speaker 8 (14:38):
Man.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I love you. Thank you. Thank so. First thing is
the lastual mental health therapist, so this was near and
dear to me. Thank you. Thank you for the work
you do because you saved our lives. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Right, there's something you said earlier about trying to press
the wrong people.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And one thing I've noticed when I'm doing therapy with
my clients.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
And actually experienced to myself a lot recently, is understanding.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Who your audience is. How do you think that.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
Equates with a lot of us when we are starting
to follow the life path, getting imposter syndrome and wondering
if we're actually doing what we're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
You know, are we worthy of doing that? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
So I am a big believer in having a target audience.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I have never not had a target audience ever.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
The reason why now we don't like those that kind
of language in church because it feels very business and corporaty.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Like you ask a church, you know, as a leader
of our ass a leader.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Of a church where you call to reach, I'm called
to reach the whole city.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
The whole city don't like you. And even if they did,
the building, they're big enoughs. So you're not. You're delucial.
You don't have a target. Jesus had a target audience.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
His target audience wasn't us, it wasn't Gentimes.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It was the lost sheep of Israel. And because he
focused on them, we all got it.
Speaker 12 (16:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
If you don't focus on nobody, you ain't gonna reach
it nobody, right, So you have to know who your
target audience is.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
I'm gonna give you my who my two target audiences
were and then are Yeah it was and is, And
then I'll give you the impostile syndrome party.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So when I was a lead pastor for the seven years.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
When I was a lead pastor, I was talking to
a thirty year old Irish biracial girl whose.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Father was black and whose mother was white.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
She had a master's level education, and she loved God
and was looking for a community. That's who I preach
to every weekend. I wasn't preaching to nobody else. I
was speaking to a light skinned by racial chick every weekend.
And the church was filled from twenty year olds to
(17:19):
eighty year olds because I was talking to her.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
My theology was for her.
Speaker 13 (17:25):
Because she was gonna she was She was already popular
with her friends, so she's gonna bring up friends to
church because she was cute. She's gonna get some dude,
and some dudes gonna come in, not because he liked me,
but because like her.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But when he came in and hear me, he was
gonna be like that in a career.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I'm sorry, prej' can I hear that. I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me. I forgot where I was for half
a second. Lisa, I know I owe you one hundred dollars.
Two hundred dollars, yes, ma'am, I'm gonna give you three,
(18:04):
just to make sure, okay.
Speaker 6 (18:06):
So by focusing on her, that's how the church grew
as a podcaster.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I'm talking to a twenty five.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Year old guy who doesn't have a dad, And that's
all I'm talking to every day. It's a twenty five
year old who doesn't have a dad. Now at fifty
years old, where does my imposter syndrome creep in? Why
am I talking to these people? Yeah, surely somebody else
(18:40):
can do this younger, cooler or relevant.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Why is it me? It shouldn't be me. God, I tried.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I think my time has passed, and the Lord's like, no,
I still need.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
You here, stop playing with me.
Speaker 8 (18:55):
So it is the.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
You have to you have to be convinced that this
is what he has called you to do. Okay, thank
you on the spirit, and don't make it deeper than
your sonship.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
With God, right right?
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mental health professional podcaster Miss Delaware.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Stuff.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
She has so many hyphenics around what she was doing.
Let's not make it any bigger than I'm a son.
These are daughters, and we're brothers and sisters, because if not,
then it's like then it's like how many followers you got?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
And well my platform.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Is not as big as we all sons and daughters
doing what he told us to do.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
And just being he told us to do there, So
that's how I get over my IMPOSSI set. I hope
that's helpful.
Speaker 14 (20:03):
Thank you for being here and sharing your wisdom with
us and being part.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Of our healing journey. God bless you both.
Speaker 14 (20:10):
My question is, how do you when God is transitioning
you through different seasons of life, how do you practical
ways to basically redefining yourself setting finding your place in
the world, and truly finding the purpose and calling that
(20:31):
He has for your life in this new season?
Speaker 8 (20:36):
No one will take it.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
He's giving me the spirit pagers to tell me it's me.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Yes.
Speaker 11 (20:41):
I want to say I love your question because I
just identified with what you're saying so.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Topingly.
Speaker 11 (20:49):
Before I became this devia where I speak briefly about
being a clinical depression for six months that took me
out of college, and I was so badly upset with
God about a season in my life that I didn't
understand what He was.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Doing with me.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
And after I got out of that, I was continuing
to do my work.
Speaker 11 (21:12):
And after I was present for the suicide attempt at
my owner sibling, you know a lot of these things.
Everything kept pointing up and down and one thing will
happen bad, one thing will happen great, one thing will
happen bad.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I'll say, God, I'm.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
On a right track.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Remember what am I doing? What's going on? I have
so many questions.
Speaker 11 (21:28):
And one of the things that I want to tell
you that I've hope encourages your spirits sincerely, is a
miss up, down, good, bad, not understanding if this is
what I was supposed to be doing, or if it
feels right, or if it's making sense to me.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
It's not a shock to God.
Speaker 11 (21:48):
He has charted your path way before you got to
this season and the last season.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
He's going to be with during the.
Speaker 11 (21:55):
Next season, and every single step that you take. As
it's confusing to you, as you don't know what's next,
as you're concerned about who's leaving and who's coming and
why I don't know what the next step is. God's
already counseled to have peace over the fact that you're
not God and you do not have.
Speaker 8 (22:15):
To be.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Material.
Speaker 12 (22:26):
Last panel revolving around friendships, and this question is more
specific to Noah as one of my closest friends.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You were.
Speaker 12 (22:37):
A light in my life during one of the lowest
points in my life going through so much mental challenges,
fertility issues. You were that one of my friends that
were just there for me, and so this.
Speaker 14 (22:49):
Brought me to ask me questions about and took notes.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Sometimes when we're.
Speaker 12 (22:55):
In a certain kind of pain, it's really hard to
let people in, even the ones that you really care about.
But how did your faith God you and showing up
for me? Then my question as pertaining to for the
whole audience, what advice would you give to others and
the church You want to support loved ones without making
them feel like a burden.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Absolutely, and I love this question. This is Caitlyn.
Speaker 11 (23:18):
Everybody, everybody say, Hikitland, wonderful, afraid guys.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I love Caitlyn.
Speaker 11 (23:23):
Me and Calyn have been friends for quite some time
and we get to walk through life together.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
The same light that she feels up in to her
she's been to me. So grateful for you.
Speaker 11 (23:32):
Thank you for being here today. The faith in me that.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Caused me to show up in your season was because.
Speaker 11 (23:43):
My commitment to who God called me to be had
nothing to do with your lack of ability to let
people in.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
There are times where you have to be the Christ
to your neighbor.
Speaker 11 (23:59):
You sincerely have to take responsibility for the people in
your community. I'm not saying make everybody in this room
your responsibility, but your individual personal circle. When it's about mine,
I'm at the door. I don't even know about everybody else.
And Kayln's season that she's so shared transparently and not
(24:19):
understanding her fertility journey and being diagnosed.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
With get to be triosis.
Speaker 11 (24:24):
She didn't know what every day was gonna come with,
and sometimes she dinna have the words. I had the
understanding from God to go over to her house and
bring her food. I had the understanding from God to
go over to the house and check on her, to
call her.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
To text her, to make sure she was okay.
Speaker 11 (24:38):
I'm not asking anybody to go get the moon out
of the sky and bring it back.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
What I am asking you to do is.
Speaker 11 (24:45):
Make sure your walk with Christ is applicable in your
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
There are some things that we just make way too
big of anything.
Speaker 11 (24:54):
Nobody asked she just gather on this fool pit next
Sunday and come.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
With a sermon.
Speaker 11 (24:59):
I didn't ad to jump and do twelve backflips or
tumbled across the stage.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Or come here with a song. And dance in my
private life.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I know that I'm.
Speaker 11 (25:09):
Assigned to klin. So if she doesn't have the words,
well I guess I'm gonna go figure out what she
has to say. If she doesn't have anything but tears,
well I guess I'm supposed to sit here. If she
guess she doesn't know how to say, she hasn't eaten
to that, well I'm gonna make sure I drop something.
I'm just cause she didn't. But in my heart, to
honor God, you have to make sure that the people
(25:29):
in your life, if you love them like you say
you do, be about it.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Not in the good seasons, not in the bad seasons,
not when it gets.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Fine, not when there's a camera overund not gonna will
here standing here and there as an opportunity.
Speaker 11 (25:44):
There would be no need for one another to be
in each other's lives if God didn't know we needed
each other.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Can a person walk with them and be allowed out
of them? You're got a friend on that, No, guys,
I've enjoyed just listening to you, guys. I thought both
of you guys are amazing.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Thank you for joining me. You guys enjoyed the conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
I'm Laurna Rosa. This is the latest with Laura Rosa.
At the end of the day, I tell you, guys,
every episode my Lowriders, y'all could be anywhere with anybody
having a conversation about this, but y'all choose to be
right here with me. I appreciate y'all for that. I
will catch you in my next episode.
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Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.