Our nonsense knows no bounds.

Grant and Nic are back to review another week of JJR! Well, kind of.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
John Jay and Rich We are likea whole vibe waste of time. Okay,
so we're starting, is this on? I think? So? Do
you sound great as always? Isound like I just swallowed like six eggs
raw. Well, I'm it's becauseI'm drinking an F three energy drink.

(00:21):
Yeah, and these are the energyOnes. Yeah. So last week I
was I thought I had brain cancerand I literally thought I was dying all
last week and it was because Iwas drinking the sleep Aid have threes.
Like from the time i'd wake upin the morning until I don't know,
seven o'clock in the evening, Iwas just hammering these things. So I

(00:42):
was like, dude, I needsomething. And I was like, caffeine
doesn't work anymore. Whatever. Turnsout there's no caffeine in those drinks.
And uh yeah, there's natural caffeinein those in these oh these says it
on the side. But the sleepOnes, no, the sleep Ones do
not. Yeah. So I wokeup on Saturday out the hard ways and
I had a headache for four daysand I was just like, What's going

(01:03):
on with me? And then literallylike two SIPs of another energy drink and
I was like, whoa buzzing backto normal. Brother. How many energy
drinks slash coffee do you drink?I drink too much caffeine, dude,
I don't know. I need toget off of all of it. I
need a full body reset. I'mdying. I need a haircut, I

(01:23):
need all that. It's just it'sbad. Well, we both go through
this, these phases where because wherewe think we're gonna grow our hair out.
I'm in. This is the furthestI've been in a while. Yeah,
you have been wearing hats a lotrecently. Yeah, and I'm realizing
it's my I'm it's pushing my hairback, which is pulling the hair out
of the front of my head.I think so my hairline's receding more now.

(01:46):
Yeah, it's really cool, dude. We should shave your whole body
except for your dude, I'd shave. I shave my whole body maybe once
a month, that often. Yeah, your whole body? Yeah wow,
well maybe maybe two months. We'llsee two months. But I do everything
okay, like it's just a straightrazor. And I feel so bad for

(02:07):
my clippers, all the parts theyhave to go. I'm so sorry.
You see this again. Oh,we're doing on the undercarriage. Again,
it's always a frightening thing for mebecause I don't know what's going to catch
and you know, oh dude,I gotta get I need to get like
a safety razor. Yeah, that'swhat I've decided. I need to get
like the man. I need togo like the man escape route for things

(02:29):
that are actually built for that.Yeah. I had. I had one
that I got I got from likeWalmart like ten years ago, and it
is like it's not good, likeit like pulls like it's like it's bad.
I want to hear how bad myclippers are. They have a pawprint
on them. They're four dogs.Oh my god, they're and they're bad.

(02:51):
Yeah, you would feel bad forthe dogs, like instantly if I
put it down in like the frontlower region, it's like the second I
go down there, it's something getsstuck. It actually be easier. I
should just like I should just cutmy penis just off, dude. If
I had like Kaitlin, the onlysolution is like cut off my penis and

(03:14):
my tenacles and then it's like Kenand and then it's just like one strip,
this is done, and the womenlove Ken. Yeah, dude,
So you're I mean, you mightbe doing the world a favorite Barbie in
theaters July. I don't know whenwhen does that mane come out? Are
you gonna go see it? Excitedabout Barbie? I'm gonna see that,
And I'm gonna see Oppenheimer. I'dlike to see him in the same weekend.

(03:37):
We'll see I think I'm gonna gosee Oppenheimer in like the super I'm
at Yeah, No, that's Ithink that's the only way to see it.
They detonated a legitimate nuclear bomb forthat, seriously, Yeah, And
they filmed it practically and then afterwardsthere's behind the scenes footage it's already been
released where they go out to thefield, the Big Desert Range where they
did the initial test and they blowone up and Chris no One afterwards is

(03:58):
like, we get it. Doeshe does he come off as like an
annoying filmmaker or as like the greatestfilmmaker. I think he comes off as
I've never heard of Chris Nolan interviewand been like this guy's pretentious and songs,
especially when he goes and he explainsbecause there's brother writes all the movies

(04:19):
like they write all their stuff together. Yeah, and when they explain the
Memento timeline. Have you ever seenthe movie Memento. It's been a long
time, but they literally have achalkboard and they're explaining it to a professor
and they're like, this thing happensand then and to hear them talk about
it, you're like, this isthis is really cool because I I I

(04:41):
can see if you're acting on oneof his films where it would be annoying
because he is like he does lovethe practical effects so much and it's like
if you screw something up, you'rescrewing up the entire movie. But at
the same time, like I Idon't. I don't particularly like James Cameron
as a filmmaker, Like he annoysme as a filmmaker, but as like

(05:02):
as a scientist. Yeah, LikeI find James Cameron fascinating because it's just
like he just kind of likes water, yeah, and it just wants to
explore the water. I just wishhe would make more. I I the
ten movie Avatar thing is a bomberI do I have? So you have
have you seen avad Did you seeit? I didn't see Avatar too?

(05:27):
Oh you didn't see Avatar. Whatare you confused? Yeah? Why what
are all these blue people? Isaw it? Yeah, No, I
saw Avatar and I saw it.And this is a different time obviously when
three D movies were like all therage. But I didn't see it in
theater. I saw it on astandard definition television on DVD, and I

(05:50):
was like, I don't understand why, why is this the most popular movie
of all time? I've never Ididn't get it. I didn't get really
the story. I or than likeit's it's pocahonas with blue people. Terminator
two, I get. Yeah,Terminator I watched last week on Blu Ray
and I was like, this movieis incredible. Yeah, we just talked
about this the other day, likeAliens again. Yeah, Terminator two.

(06:15):
I get Titanic, Like the effectsfor that were incredible, and you see
like the like documentaries and behind thescenes stuff like like okay, Like I
didn't love Titanic, but I gotit. I would I understand why that's
one of the most popular movies ofall time. Was like like money making

(06:35):
and it's a spectacle, it's astory. It's yeah AVATARO again. Then
I wish they would have gotten intolike the insurance scam. Okay, James
camera making a right turn owned byJames Did you know JP Morgan had stock
and the Titanic. I feel likemaybe they also it's not the Titanic that's

(06:58):
underwater. That's actually it's ship thatwas damaged very badly in in another ship
accident. Okay, they sunk itbecause like maybe we just we can move
on at this point anyway, ChristopherOld is great. I think like,
like Chris, sorry, it's beena long week. Is that a rich

(07:19):
Bear impression? Yeah? Is thatChristopher four? Get over here. It's
me, rich Bara. It's meRick, It's me. It's a me,
rich Abara. Shout out to richBarra. We had a fun week
this week. Huh Yeah, wehad a we had it was another fun
week. Without going in, withoutgoing into detail, how tired are you

(07:44):
this week? Oh? I'm exhausted. That's why I asked the question,
how much like calf like not necessarilycaffeine you intake per week, but just
you know, an estimate of howmany drinks that contain caffeine because my my
wife, I think finally this weeknoticed that like I don't like, I
don't function unless I have basically acup of coffee in my hand all day

(08:09):
and she was, yeah, no, that's what it is. And she
was like, you come home,spun up on cabin, yell at the
kids immediately laid out. This keepsme from yelling at them, h because
she was like she had a couplelong days as well, and she was
like, and you got up threehours earlier than I did, and I

(08:33):
am exhausted. She's like, howare you even functioning? And like,
it has been It's it's been.It has been a long week. It's
been a taxing week kind of mentallyand like from a physical perspective, like
having to be at the radio stationstarting at three o'clock in the morning some
days not leaving until two in theafternoon, and then I still have other
things to do, like like twodays this week my daughter had dance class

(08:56):
the night, so Dad eliminates thenap time whatever so much. But it
like, you know, you kindof they just go through it. You
know, you're just bulldozers. I'mkind of overnapping. I I need it,
but now I'm just kind of like, screw if I take a nap
in the middle of the day,it's over like I can't. I'll try

(09:18):
and be productive. But Kate's ona long vacation right now, so she
so she's like home and I'm like, hey, I'm trying to get this
work done and I usually budget liketo be done with everything during the day
by five o'clock. Yeah, sothen when she comes home, I can,
you know, be attentive, right, and like now it's just like
I just can't. Well, Imean, I just well. And I

(09:41):
think it's weird too for this likethe spouse or the significant other in these
positions, because they're also not seeingit, like from your end that you
are leaving for work like before dawn, like an hour before the sun comes
up from the like for a couple, you know. And there's part of

(10:01):
them too that I think is like, yo, you just get to go
scow around. Right then you're likelike, well, well, I am
not completely maximum stressed. There's moments, there were moments this week where I
was, well, it's it's hard, and it's hard from like our perspectives
sitting behind the glass and because wehad we had two huge giveaways all week

(10:26):
this week. Yeah, and whenyou combine like probably, honest to god,
probably the two biggest prizes we've hadall year. We had a week
of San Diego getaway, Yeah,getaway, two day getaways, whatever,
and then Doja Cat tickets, whichare just huge, she's the most popular

(10:48):
artist on our station. And thena couple of days we had extra like
Fallout Boy takes. Yeah. Sothere was just like constant and then we'd
have like a reason to call in. It wouldn't just be like, hey,
we're giving her away to call herfourteen, It'd be like, you
have grant, you have ten minutesto find the five six best callers for
this thing, right, And itwas everybody was telling sad stories. Dude,
Yeah, I think that's I thinkthat's what's it. That's not something

(11:13):
that I expected. Uh that wewe we did this game. Somebody's vpning
in in this computer in front ofme. Are we on the air on
Kiss? Do you think? No? I no, No, If we
were, I would I would alreadyhave been got Well, I don't have
my phone on me, but no, I'm kidding. I had my phone

(11:33):
right here. That's weird. Thatwas Yeah, they must best you doing
something anyway? What was I saying? Oh? Yeah, so they how
hard you were? Yeah? Ijust heard that like a five minutes ago.
Going to acknowledge it. That's sohard right now. I was like,
yeah, it is, yeah,brother, you get it. Three.

(11:58):
I don't think that. I don'tthink it assists with that. But
no, what I was saying isthat we were playing this game make me
say wow, and basically you callin and you try and get the hosts
of the show to say the wordwow. Yeah, And I was not
expecting it to get as dark asit did. There were some calls I

(12:20):
wanted to put up, but Iknew better. I was like, yeah,
yeah, but I was kind oflike, I'll show you guys make
this terrible call up. It'll belike, oh god, then they would
have to win. They make mesay, well, it's stepped in gum,
and then what happened. That's it, that's still it. Just and
then I walked home. It walkedhome. It was sticky, and I

(12:41):
went to bed dance in the rain, listening to Inside. No you know
what, I don't even I don't. I don't give a shit. This
is no longer going to be aninside joke. So we were we were
in the other We're in out ofthe room and Noah's Noah's like a little
character. Yeah, and no onthe show, he edits all the audio

(13:03):
and he's he's, he's he is. He's like he's just like a little
like just a like a little littlecharacter. Yeah, he's a unique personality.
And he was telling us a storyabout how he and his friend,
Well, I told a story abouthow I liked, I just stay up

(13:24):
all night, yeah and do thisthing like go go on a bike ride
at midnight. This is the yeah, and this is how it started.
And then so I was and thenI'd say, you know, one time
I went up to the ASU Libraryand went to the top floor. They
have like an observation deck, andI watched the sunrise and I like went
walked home and it was this reallynice, peaceful morning. Because he was
talking about I asked him what hewas doing for Fourth of July weekend and

(13:46):
it got real like sad, veryreal quick, and so like then then
he pivoted and he was like,I don't know what I'm gonna do tonight.
He's like, because when I gethome and I just if I lay
down, I'm gonna sleep until eighto'clock. I'm gonna take it. If
I take a nap, I'll wakeup at eight pm. And he's like,
and then my whole night's gone.And I'm like, dude, you're

(14:07):
twenty one years old, how hasyour night done at eight o'clock? It's
a Friday? Kind of jealous thatthat's no. No, listen as someone
who I mean. I love mychildren and they're they're the greatest blessing I
have in this world. But holyshit, if I had the opportunity to
go to bed at eight o'clock,oh my god. But if I had

(14:30):
the opportunity to go to bed atsix o'clock, right fair, If I
could go to bed as soon asI get home, sleep for twelve hours,
seventeen hours, and I've become inall tired. I'm like, guys,
I only got sixteen I got sixteenand a half. Last night,
my ORR ring said I was deepsleep dead. My ORA rings that I

(14:52):
was dead for two opers the lastnight, dude, dude. So I
went and saw The Flat by myselfor whatever. I don't think I told
you this. So I went andsaw The Flash by myself. By the
way, seeing movies by yourself,it's the best. It is the absolute
best. I cannot express how muchhow much fun I had by myself and

(15:13):
I kind of solid movie by ourselves. We went to go see that air
movie and we just the whole showwas there and we sat alone, and
then I fell asleep for like deadminutes. Did you fall asleep and then
I fell asleep? No? Ifell asleep and then turned and you were
gone, yea, well, becausemy chicken sandwich was ready, you fell
asleep like five minutes into the movie. I was so tired that day,

(15:35):
so you would go see the FlashBuyers. So I went Flashed by myself,
and there there are a couple partsin it and like it's like,
it's not you're watching like Schindler's Listor Shaw Step Redemption or even The Dark
Night where it's like these big suspenseparts or whatever those three movies. I'm
just saying, I'm trying to thinkof it's on the fly. Yeah,

(15:56):
yeah, it's not. You know, it's not like, uh, Teletubbies,
is that better for you? Isthat funnier? No? I mean
to lead off or to lead offwith Schindler's List, like, you know,
Schindler's List is like my go tolike serious movie example. Yeah,
I think it's pretty fair. Ican't think of many more movies that are

(16:18):
more more serious. See it's notAvatar anyway, So I'm at I'm had
to flash by myself and again likethere there are parts where it's like suspenseful,
but it's not like you you kindof know where it's going. Yeah,
but my Apple Watch kept going offbecause it's like you've been super timids

(16:41):
and your heart rate is accelerating.Whoa, And I was excited. I
was like, am I enjoying thismovie more than I think I am?
Your body? I think? Really? Yeah? It was. It was.
It was weird and like it hasn'tdone it since. It didn't do
it before and it hasn't done itsince, so I don't know if it
was just like the landscape of likewatching this movie by myself. And then

(17:03):
I was also kind of pissed becauseI had ordered a soda and they brought
out my French fries but then didn'tbring my soda, and then I had
to call two more times for themto bring my soda out. Yeah,
and then I was a little annoyedbecause it was during the movie, and
then I was like, are theygoing to take the soda? Off because
I feel like they should. Andthen that stressed me out because I was

(17:26):
like, well, like, howdo you complain after? Like, there's
not it at this at the dinin theaters, it's not like especially the
one you've been there that's kind ofdown the street where I live. Um,
it did like it's it's not likethere's managers like openly walking around like
it's basically there's a ticket taker anda bartender and then everybody else is just

(17:47):
delivering food. Um anyway, andand my watch was like you didn't get
your coke yet? Yeah? Yeah, it's like it's going off now because
I haven't uh please, I haven'thad quite caffeine and an hour so it'll
tell you you're so it tells youyour heart rates high. Yeah, that's
weird. It did like it wasjust like like something like mine. Literally

(18:12):
I look, I check because Iwear it to bed. Yea, it
is an alarm clock, and myheart rate it sounded like forty Jesus,
And yeah, I'll just look atit. I'll be like, well shit,
but no, no notification, Hey, yeah maybe I should. No,
I don't even have that. WhatNo, I get I get that
I turned all those notifications off.I hate they'll just be I don't want

(18:33):
you to be telling me what todo. Bother Yeah, I need to
go in and turn figure out howto turn off some of them because they
like I don't. I don't needto know what the Huffington Post is,
what article is on their front pagethis week. I don't even wear it
tim good to work out, Like, I don't even go on a walk
or going to run. I don'teven put my watch on watch. I'm
like, I don't care I wearit. I actually I wear it all
the time. And I didn't thinkI would. I like, I even

(18:56):
when even when like rumor fossil watchesthey were really popular, like when we
were in high school and whatever,like even then I didn't. I didn't
get it, like I was not, Like it wasn't for me. Part
of it is that I'm left handedand so and so It's like I always
thought I couldn't find something that fitlike the way I wanted it to.
But this like, yeah, dude, Apple watches are cool. Yeah,

(19:18):
and you get treated differently because you'reyou're better than other. Uh. I
haven't paid for anything with it.I'm sure Apple pays on it. Because
it's really cool, like it's atthe grocery store whatever. Blue Yeah,
so much quicker. This is AppleWatch. Dude, what are you What
are you going to do this weekend? Oh? Man? I I so

(19:41):
my sister in law and brother inlaw are are coming in town. Uh,
They're not just coming there, comingin town. Uh. And so
I mean a lot of kids stuffwith them. Um, I'm gonna I'm
gonna drink so much beer this weagain, Like I cannot what is for

(20:03):
ni for nick? Yeah? Imean will you go but will you go
buy like a case? Will youbuy like a thirty pack at the beginning
of the weekend? Or do youare you drinking like nice beer? No,
I'm typically drinking nice beers. LikeI don't like like if I'm gonna
if I'm gonna have the calories likeI'd rather be with something like good.

(20:26):
Yeah. I don't want to sayand and I understand this is a very
pretentious thing to say, but likeI get I get nothing out of really
any Budweiser product. I get nothingout of any like Miller Coors product.
It just doesn't They just don't likeflavor. Yeah, Like I don't like
they'll get you drunk, but theywon't. Yeah, but you have to
drink a lot of them, youknow, like with Nick's beers. You

(20:49):
gotta switch over, dude, yougotta switch to join the dark side.
See now drink But this is yeah, but this is the thing is that
you know, first of all,uh, the you know, alcoholism does
run in my family. And soI'm like, if I commit to buying
like a case of Miller High Lifeor whatever, I don't know, I

(21:12):
don't, I don't know. Idon't want to say Budweiser because I don't
I don't like, I don't likethe taste of of Budweiser. But whoa
good political dude? I knew,Dude, dude, this is what I
knew. Exactly where you're gonna go. I would never go there. No,

(21:32):
No, I mean I guess Budweiseris fine. Did you go see
Shine Down this week too? Budweiseris fine. But if I'm gonna if
I'm gonna drink something for pleasure orjust to get hopped up, I'm gonna
do it with something nicer and it'lldo it quicker. That makes sense.
I mean, you might as wellenjoy it. Yeah, because then also

(21:56):
if it's coming up later, I'dsay a lot. I'd say a lot
of beer in nick beer terms isprobably a lot. Is probably close to
ten ten beers, ten bottles,like yeah, like ten ten bottles,
ten cans whatever, um like,but like drink, yeah, ten bottles.

(22:17):
That's a lot of beer. Okay, do you ever black out?
I haven't blacked down a long time. You know. The last time I
blacked out was with Uh. Wewere you know, Caroline was like two
months old right like she was soshe was so so little, and it

(22:41):
was COVID time and we hadn't seenanybody since March. And so now it's
June and Joey and his wife Chanellecame over uh to meet the baby for
the first time. And I gotso drunk so fast without even like,
without even trying, And the nextthing I know, I'm getting kicked by

(23:08):
my wife. Hey, your daughter'sup, you need to go get her.
Oh no. I had fallen asleepon the floor in the living room
and was so hungover, and itwas like, oh, you know,
the best, like truly, thebest thing to do when you're that hungover
is just to have another beer,like and just be like you know what,

(23:30):
I gotta I gotta ease all.I gotta wean off of this.
Yeah, that was the literally ofall the feelings. The best feeling when
I was drinking was being hungover andthen being like I'm gonna have a gin
and Tonic at eight thirties and thenyou go to work and you feel like
a million bucks. I feel likeit would be so much easier now too,

(23:52):
to go the hair, hair andthe dog route, because like Seltzer's,
dude, and I don't want tomake you, you know, Salvat
or whatever, but like Seltzer's,I just I imagine if I've ever that
hung over again and like cracking oneof those because you don't taste the you
don't taste the alcohol, and atleast it'll get you, you know,

(24:15):
back to base. Yeah, backto a baseline, and like whereas you
know, when we were real,real drinkers. Yeah, it would be
like, Okay, I gotta getup and have you know, bloody Mary
and a beer. Never did BloodyMarys, man, They always just weirded
me out. I mean, Imean I get it, especially those weird

(24:36):
bloody Marys with all the bacon andextras shit in it. Yeah, I'm
well, I'm a I'm a suckerfor like the the elaborate bloody Mary's.
Like I don't want to make myown. Like there's a place in town
where it's like they have a BloodyMary bar, and I'm like, if
I'm paying for this, I wantyou to do it for me. Oh
so you have to like go yeah, like you go through like I think
they they give you like the cupwith the vodka already in it, and

(24:59):
then you choose like you're a Coutremontand the type of tomato, juicy one
and whatever, and I I sawone with like a shrimp coming out of
it. Yeah, it's like what, Yeah, what are we doing in
my hometown? There's one that theythey do, uh like white Castle Burgers
on top. Dude, I gofor a white Castle Burger right now.
I know. I drive by Whitecastleprobably once a week and I have to

(25:23):
talk myself out of stopping. Canyou can we talk something through something I
wrote down in my notebook that absolutelyleft it. Wait, hold on,
this is a visit to Grant's noteYeah, dude, So I do another
podcast called how to Become a TerriblePerson, And usually that's where I take
my bad ideas and read them.But no, I read this thing.

(25:45):
You It's like, I mean,it's a notebook. This is this It
looks like you've written a manifesto.Yeah, it's like that's what that's what
that is. And I mean quitelike, to be quite honest, like
I'm I'm envious that you have abilityto like just be cognizant enough to go
and write down something like arbitrary youjust think of because I just never that

(26:07):
doesn't even like go through my lexicon. No, No, when you say
you think it's cool and a goodidea, one of these things is I'm
watching gossip Girl. It says watchinggossip Girl, and then it says dash
teachers should be allowed to beat kids. I mean, that's the kind of
quality stuff that we're working. Imean, oh my god. No,

(26:32):
but I was thinking, uh,yeah, well I haven't even picked up
yet. I do a great question. No, But I wrote down because
I you know, I've talked aboutit publicly a lot that I'm fascinated by
disasters, terrible tragedy and stuff.And I wrote down, we have nine
to eleven in Chernobyl and Pearl Harbor. Right, Okay, But I asked

(26:52):
you earlier. Do dogs and catsknow that these giant tragedies have happened because
they're set, you know, andcats can sense a lot of stuff,
right, But what I was thinkingis if they don't, if dogs aren't
aware of nine to eleven, whatis their equivalent of nine to eleven?
Is it like they don't remember wherethey buried their bone in the yards They're

(27:15):
like, oh my god, thisis my nine eleven. This is this
is this is a tragic and whatwould they call it again? I don't
know, dude, like bone,I'm not really the idea guy, So
like, well, okay, sono dog us bone? Yeah, cat
would be well, I mean Idon't know cats. I mean my experience

(27:38):
of cats, they don't really givea shit about anything. Yeah, like
another cat uses your litter box orsomething. Yeah, that's the worst thing
that's ever happened to me. Who'salso bone again? Yeah no, but
uh hold on, this is somethingI thought. It kind of goes with
it. I don't really understand jetpacks, like if you think about a

(28:00):
jet pack when you have it,because I don't know that I understand that
statement. Yeah, okay, okay, well let me explain because when you
see you see a guy, yeah, let me finish, When you see
a guy wearing a jet pack,he's always like pretty close to the ground,
right, Okay, so it's theair pushing against the ground that propels
him upward. Okay, But ifthe ground's not there and he's in the

(28:22):
air. How many people are youseeing in jet packs? A lot?
And my name of it's a hugwe got we got bowing down the street.
Yeah, we're just no. Butlike, don't you need something for
the wind from the jet engine topush off? Of the thought that it's

(28:45):
I mean, it's like airplanes rightwell, but airplanes, if you think
about it, you're you're being propelledforward, but the way the the wings
are angled, it helps propel itforward and upward, right, But there's
nothing like that on a jet pack. So when you're one, I think
that's probably why you don't see thatmany jet packs. So once you get
so high, Yeah, like adrone, it pulls like it's pulling up

(29:06):
because it's like forcing, but ajet pack is just pushing down. So
if you would fly up five hundredfeet, how do you stay in the
air Because there's I guess, butthe jets propelling itself upward. You're like,
I'm only going off this documentary.So it's called Iron Man, It's
called What I don't understand about jetpacks is like, how do your legs
not just burn burn up? LikeI I mean, again, I don't

(29:30):
know if I have that much experiencewith jet packs either, but I that
would be my my question. Ialso wrote down boomers or like barking dogs.
They're just like they just I don'treally know where I was going.
Yeah, okay, And I alsowrote the Princess Peaches overstepping on her plumber,

(29:52):
Like if you really think about it, Princess Peaches just like, hey,
come save me. Yeah, Like, I'm just here to fix your
toilet. I'm not going on anadventure. This is not what I This
is not what I'm here for.There's nothing, If there's nothing clogged,
I'm gonna have to I'm gonna haveto invoice you separately for this event I'm
on. And it's been And thething is, it's been thirty years.

(30:15):
He just has to put his footdown. Yeah, I mean at some
point it is also his fault.Yeah, just saying he is he has
allowed this bad behavior. We needto establish boundaries that are plumbing princess relationship,
right, Like it's like you're you'rerewarding her each time you come over

(30:36):
to the castle and you're like,oh damn, she's gone again. When
where Bowser took her this time?Do you want to hear a gem?
I would love to? And Iwrote this down. This is this is
an independent thought. It's in adifferent color. So every day is a
different color, so I know what, you know. I had one thought
this day and it was krans smelllike something I want to eat. I

(31:02):
don't am I wrong, but it'snot. You can't point to what specifically
it is. Yeah, it's justsomething about it's like you would taste,
Yeah, you would taste you wouldthink taste good. Speaking of I was
at the grocery store yesterday and Iwas in the krans aisle, like because
it's it's across from the juice andnear the candy, which are like the
two places. I'm like, oh, yeah, this is this is this

(31:26):
is where I Yeah, it's likearts and arts and craft stuff poster board,
you know, the school supply section, and you know they have krans
that are like just different colors.They're obviously different colors, but they have
different shades for coloring in people.So it'll be a pack of twenty crans
and it's like tan to like darkbrown. No, and it what does

(31:48):
it says? Say? Like yeah, people, people, people feeling people
of color? Really yeah, huh, I mean I was I was unaware.
I didn't buy it like arts.I just looked at it. I
was like, m because we likefor like when your kids. It was
like I was always colored my peoplein Peach Well, I was gonna say,

(32:12):
or also teach people as a kid. It's like the Billy Madison thing.
I wanted to see purple ducks,so I pant the duck purple.
Yeah, I mean it's a blueduck. I'm Billy mad because it blue
blue. Oh my god, what'shappening? Well? What do you doing
this weekend? What do you have? What do you have on the docket?
I'm gonna send it up. Yeah, good, all right, I
don't know the dude, I gotthe hiccups. I think maybe you're you're

(32:36):
gonna die. The thing is iswhen I know I have the right amount
of nicotine in my body because Iget the hiccups. Yeah, does that
ever happen to you. I know, yeah, no, I have no,
I have zero plans. I wantto write another funeral home story pretty
soon. But you're blowing up theinternet with that. Man. Yeah,
dude, it did really well.It's doing really well. Like how much

(32:57):
money have you made sense a certaincompany about my podcasting platform. The monetization
has changed substantially. I'm not uhno, I uh it's yeah, but
it's it's doing really well. Likein the first first like day, it
got like fifteen thousand. That's great. Yeah, that's awesome. Like I
say, it still blows my mindthat people listen to it. And what's

(33:20):
really scary is it's not like musicwhere you can play somebody like a demo
and get gauge a reaction. It'slike, this was a fifty page story
and I had to just write it, produce it, put it out,
and then just wait. Yeah,and like no one in my like life
listens to the podcast. They're like, oh, that's cool, you do
that, you know what I mean. Like, but Kaylyn doesn't listen to

(33:42):
it, which is fine. Iwouldn't wouldn't expect yourself. Oh no,
I don't. I don't want Kaylinto listen to like anything that I do.
I it would stress me out toomuch. And knowing that, well,
what's funny and yours are more likeyour your experiences are more personal.
What any any dumb game my playon John Jaye y well yeah no.
And also too, it's like ifI play anything that happens on the John

(34:04):
jadan Ritch Show, then I'm involvedwith Kate's like, why are we listening
to this? Like for real questionsyou asked me every now, like Grant,
you told me this story two nightsago. I was there with you.
No. But we did a podcastlast week and it was we sat
on the couch and we were recordedfor an hour and a half because we
did two episodes, and we talkedabout the Titanic thing, right, the

(34:30):
submersible, Yeah, and we wentpretty wild and Kate was like, Kate
thought they were dead. And thenwe recorded on Wednesday, she said they
were dead and all this stuff.And I asked her a bunch of questions
about that Titanic and she was insecureabout she felt like she did a bad
job, and she was like,I don't I don't want make sure you
edit out the Titanic stuff from thepodcast. I don't want that. I

(34:52):
don't want people to think I'm stupid. I was like, people, don't
think you're stupid. We're talking,and I was like, final edit it
out. It was like fifty minutof the seventy minutes we recorded, and
then we proceeded to get in thishuge fight that lasted all day, and
she was like, you know,people, I don't want people to think
I'm stupid, and blah blah blah. I was like, you we you
and I I'm during this podcast,I say stupid stuff. Yeah, I

(35:15):
don't care. No, And sowe ended up listening it together and we
didn't edit anything out, and shewas like, that was really funny.
And I was like, see,I don't know why I told me that
story, but that's why. Shealso know why you told me, because
you want validation in that your fianceis stupid. Kaitlyn. If you're not

(35:37):
listening to this, you are notstupid. You're gonna clip that, Yeah,
clip that's gonna be on John Jayand Rich read it. What what?
But I have zero plans. Thankfully, I'm probably gonna make dinner I
made so I have so many leftoversin the house right now. Yeah,
I meane pulled pork. This week, I made taco American like white Guy
tacos, which is just like groundbeef, ground beef cheese. Yeah,

(36:00):
nacho cheese melted. No, Literally, the way we make nacho cheese for
our tacos is I melt velveto withmilk, good for you, And it's
just like this. But we haveall these leftovers. And then we had
this problem yesterday where the good likethe one good leftover that we were both
like craving. I was planning onhaving it for lunch and she was planning

(36:22):
on it having it for dinner.So I ate it all for lunch,
and then she had to eat whatwas supposed to be for dinner. It
was just very complicated, very youguys, people listening at home would not
understand this. Basically, I atethe food she wanted and it caused this
whole problem. And I was like, well, there's all these other leftovers,
and she's like, I don't likethose other leftovers. She doesn't like

(36:45):
food that's been sitting in the refrigeratorfor more than two days. Really,
yeah, And I'm like that's whenit gets good, like pulled pork after
like a week. Oh yeah,dude win like something like that, like
especially together where all of those flavorsare in in one pot and living together
for a week. Yeah, no, I have I have no problem with

(37:07):
that. We we actually we're completelyout of food yesterday and thank god.
Yeah, they got Mike Caitlin andyour Caitlin went to Costco and brought me
food. It's great. Do youwant to go back to the notebook?
Yeah, this is a really interestingthought. You're ready for this? Oh
good? Um? So there's humansacrifices right right? Sure, like as

(37:31):
an idea, Yeah that like yousure, you do it, let's play.
Okay, are human sacrifices? Thereare human such things as human sacrifice?
Okay? And do you think thefirst one, like some guy was
just like back in like olden times, somebody was just killed tragically in like

(37:52):
a cornfield. And then the nextyear it just happened to rain a lot
that summer, so they had likereally good corn crops, and they were
like, because we killed this guyin the field, this isn't this,
this is keeping that. Yeah,we have to keep doing them. Do
you think that's how it started.That's a pretty compelling because I always I
always relate like human sacrifice, youknow, because I'm always talking about it,

(38:14):
uh to like witchcraft, Yeah,like like Satanism or whatever like you
or cult status, right, thatkind of thing. Wouldn't think of it
from a perspective of like what ifit provided you resources? Yeah, like
when people sacrifice a goat to whateverand then they have like a good crop
or it rains and then they're like, oh yeah, this this worked.

(38:37):
I mean, and was it likedo you think it was like an accident?
It would you think it was justsome guy is just an idiot?
Can't we just can't stand this guy? And in eighteen thirty five, Yeah,
he fell into a woodchipper. Hewas chewed up, and then all
of a sudden, the crops arejust really good. The next year and
they were like, hey, Alanfell in the wood chipper six months ago,

(39:00):
all right, who's yeah, wegot we gotta keep this going.
It's like this one one guy everysix months. God, I don't know.
It feels I mean, it feelsit feels good. Some true crime
docs are funny. Don't you thinkit'd be interesting though? If like some

(39:25):
good like have you have you knownanyone who's been a potential subject of a
true crime doc. Like, haveyou ever known anybody who's like murdered people
or done like a string of crimes. Well, I've been like loosely in
like in in the world of likewhat I would consider like an interesting subject

(39:52):
for a true crime doc. ButI've like, I've no one that I
know has like murdered someone or AndI mean, well, I know that
there's something that you're going no,no, no, no, I was
just I mean, I have afriend who cut his sister tied off on
Christmas Day Jesus God, and myfriend I used it loosely. I knew

(40:15):
him in Sunday school, like backlike when I was a little kid.
But they haven't made a documentary aboutthat. But day So, I grew
up in a town of fifty fourhundred people, and I was at my
friend David Burtonetti's house and he kindof lived in the country, and uh,
and we noticed across the highway there'sa lot of smoke billowing out of

(40:38):
this house and so like we wrotehis four wheelers down. There's four of
us, and like this house acrossthe street was on fire and we're like,
oh my god, what what ishappening? And then my friend like
he's one of those guys that's likeI want to be a hero so bad,
you know what I mean. Likehe started running across the street because

(41:00):
the police, the police literally hadn'tarrived yet, but an off duty officer
had just been driving by, andso he turned, he whipped around and
came back right, and my friendslike mosing across the street and you just
hear the officer go really yeah,and so he like okay, okay,

(41:20):
And so we just sat there andwe're like, what is going on?
And like there he's like we needwe can hear screaming, right and like
windows breaking and whatever. Turns out, Uh, this dude whose father or
whose daughter was in my younger brother'sclass. Uh, this dude got out

(41:44):
of jail and he went to hisformer in law's house killed both of them,
whoa shot him both in the head. Like within minutes after beginning a
release from no Kid jail. Heleaves their house, drives out into the

(42:07):
country and pulls up to his Sothis was like his ex wife's sister that
he murdered first and her husband.Then he drives out to this house where
his mother in law and father inlaw former mother in law and father in

(42:30):
law lived and his daughter whoa andkilled them, got him, shot him
both or shot all three of them, then lit the house on fire and
the daughter was still alive. Yeah, and we didn't know what was going

(42:53):
on, you know, Like butlike that would be something I would can
hit her, like in in theterritory of Yeah, no, I'd say
that's pretty. But it was likeyeah, I was like absolutely like crippling
for our community, Like yeah,because it's like it's like this small,

(43:15):
like you know, just farmtown,and in something like this, like there
was no They went from like nomurders in like fifteen years to five in
like a day. I can't rememberwhat happened of the dude. I can't.
I can't remember if he ended upoffering himself. I mean, I
know he's not like marching the streets. Maybe that man is Mark Zuckerberg.

(43:38):
Yeah. I pulled a lady outof a car one time. I saw
a head on collision. It waslike a sedan versus a minivan and they
were going like fifty. The vanjust drifted into this lady's lane, just
smashed into her, and I justI was going back to the funeral home.

(44:04):
And I didn't even think. Ijust got out of my car and
ran up to the car. Hercar was on fire, like and I
had to pull her through the driverthe passenger side, and I grabbed her
under the arms, a little oldlady. And I'm pretty sure she was
fine from the accident. But thenwhen I pulled her out of the car,
like dropped her on the crush AndI did this somehow, You're concussed,

(44:28):
dude. I supermanned it. Iwent and I pulled her out of
the car, and then I gotback in my car and just drove away.
I witnessed the whole time. Hejust didn't give a statement, didn't
do anything. Another beer. Andthen one time I chased I saw a
guy punch his wife, like hithis wife in U in a courthouse,
Oh no. And I had apair of burking socks on it and I

(44:51):
was in the like peak track condition. I think it was like high school.
I flipped off my birkin socks andI ran down the street after his
car and I reached into his wand and I hit him, you think,
But then the cop was right behindme and like stop the car,
and it was like a whole thing. But again I just left assault done

(45:12):
here. Yeah, I was like, I just I you know, gonna
stand up, stand up? Standup? Are you ever just like afraid
of Are you ever like? Areyou ever just afraid of driving? Every
every time? Every day I feellike I'm afraid of driving. I think
I get in the car most everytime when I'm coming to work at four
in the morning, I'm like,yep, today's to day. And I

(45:36):
remember, you know, getting andgetting my license and wanting to drive so
bad, and like like finally feelinglike I had like this whatever freedom,
And like now twenty years later,I'm like, can someone take me places
inside? I'm the worst passage.Like I would just love to just not
have to worry about you, Likeyou like being driven around? No,
I don't even like being driven around. I would just I would prefer to

(45:58):
be driven around. Like if here'smy perfect scenario, I can be driven
around, I don't have to talkto the person that's driving me, and
I can just I can just relax. Are you pro driverless cars? No,
I am not. I think they'reterrified. I think it's I think
I think it's a I think it'sa terrible I don't. I don't think
the technology is there yet, andI think that we're forcing we're forcing it,

(46:22):
and we have a bunch of companiesthat are all trying to do it
all at once, and it's almostlike, I mean, honestly, it's
almost like the submarine thing. It'slike, when do you stop letting like
people that are not qualified to dothis stuff right, actually do this thing.
I developed an app, so thereforeI'm going to have a self driving

(46:45):
car. Yeah, I just don't. Like, I just don't. I
don't. I don't. I justsaw it. I literally just saw a
Waymo car in an accident last week, like and it I mean, it
wasn't like a bad one, butit's like, dude, you're driving by,
Like I'm thinking, like, welive two blocks from a middle school.
Yeah, and you think, likethose those cars, the technology in

(47:09):
those cars, the AI whatever itis, is going to have the capability
to like react if like four footten, you know, ninety pound high
school kid like just happens to runacross the street. I don't think that's
the case. You know, highschool senior. Yeah, poor guy he's

(47:37):
railing short. It's like, poorguy, dude, he's probably purposefully running
out of my proportions don't make anysense. Time take me, God,
this time you're telling me I'm shortand stumpy. Well, they shit,

(47:59):
you know. They They just putout an article about how basically driverless cars
aren't able to predict human behavior whiledriving, so they slow down the radar
traffic, and some conspiracy theorists arelike saying that, like, oh,
that's not actually them dealing with that, it's them. It's like a crowd

(48:20):
control, it's traffic control. Ohso they're like, when some big world
event happens, all the waymo carsare gonna go out there and just slow
down traffic so you can't get outof the city. All right, listen,
Grant, I had no idea youwere into conspiracy theories. I mean
I was unaware and am completely shocked. Did you know Jeoffardy host canceled because

(48:44):
the podcast. Do you remember whenthat happened? This was a while ago.
Yeah. How old is this,dude? It's like a year old
hair and tub tub? Yeah?I saw. Oh yeah, Kate,
does your Kaitlin shed? Yeah?Your wife? Yeah, that's a problem
man. No, you have toclean drains out. Yeah, And there's
nothing more disgusting than cleaning a drainout. Oh my god, No,

(49:07):
there's there's nothing because it's not justhair. It's like conditioner and like soap
and stuff, and then it's justyou gotta and it's all slimy. See.
For me, it's the sink.If the sink is clogged, that's
the most disgusting, because it's soap, it's hair, it's toothpaste taste,

(49:30):
it's mouthwash, it's it's all thisstuff. It is this, Are we
off the air? No, Ijust gotta text John J just texting me,
and I don't. I'm not entirelysure what this means. It's just
all caps. Yeah you're fired.Yeah, I can't. I can't decipher
what this means. Yeah, no, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Be

(50:00):
Like even this morning, I likeI was because I, you know,
sit down in the shower, becausesitting in the shower is the best.
Like I will get up intentionally alittle earlier, just so I have a
little more time to just shower inthe morning. Yeah, like that's like
it's my time, you know.But I sat down now picture this,

(50:22):
okay, my thick, hot,white body. Yeah, just stumbling around
in the shower kind of and literallystumbling because I have this gimpy knee.
Do you do you leave the lighton when you shower? Yeah, in
the morning. Yeah, do youever turn it off? Do you ever
take a dark shower? No?I know, I'm petrified. Were scared

(50:45):
of everything. You're afraid of thedark. Still, Yeah, there's no
there's a there's a there is alarge part of it's still fraid the dark.
But Caitlyn's traveling for work. No, thank you, no, thank
you. Yeah, leave all thelights on when you go to sleep?
No, no, no, no, I I turned them all off,
but I instantly like regret it.Like she was traveling last week and I
was watching I had just watched thenew Marvel show Secret Invasion, and it's

(51:08):
all about these like shape shifter shiftersand whatever and like you can't trust anybody
reality and yeah with lizard people anduh, and so like watching and watching
the show and then like I likeI dozed off and I woke up and
the show was over, but Iswore I heard something and I was up
for an hour, really worried.Yeah, I was up for an hour.

(51:31):
About twenty minutes in I got up, I walked around the house.
There was nobody there, and Iwent laid back down. But it like
it, it is a it isa real problem. So you are afraid
of the dark, so you don'ttake dark showers. But the other morning,
you were taking a shower. Ohyeah, sorry, no, that
was yeah. So I'm taking ashower and I like just happened to look

(51:52):
to, you know, to myleft, and it's like Kaitlyn had pulled
the hair out of the drain rightlike as a's like a courtesy, but
it seemed like she had just likeslapped it against the wall. So it
just it was just sticking there,and there was like kind of a lot
of it, and it's like it'sit's hair hair. It's not like it's

(52:12):
you know, whatever wherever else partsLike, it's just it's just head hair.
Yeah, it's not like it's notlike it's it's either of our buttle
hair. And I just like lookedat him, like the trash can is
a foot the other direction. Whywouldn't why would why can't we just throw
it away? Yeah? Why isit that? It? That it?
And so then it's like do Ileave it or do I dispose it?

(52:36):
Are you being a jerk by leavingit. Yeah, I dispose. She's
like, I'm I'm creating a doll. I dispose of it because it was
great. Yeah, she's creating herown hair doll. I need I need
this, It's my vitality. Uh, I'm so tired, dude. Yeah,
we should end this. We should. We went. We did at

(52:57):
least forty five minutes. Oh yeah, no, well the last one we
did, we said it's about fortyminutes and it was an hour fifteen.
Well, if this is your firsttime listening to j j RBTs, sorry,
oh yeah, no, I thinkwe're I think we did all right.
No, I think I mean,you know, we really hit a
groove today. We did, didwe? Yeah? It felt it felt
like it it felt I mean itfelt good for me. But you know,

(53:22):
anything that involves you feels good forme. So let me know what
you think about the the animals experiencingnational tragedies. I'm gonna come in with
a list and I'm gonna tell youthis is this is what a squirrel would
consider a squirrels Yeah eleven, No, I think, uh yeah, and
you're gonna instantly regret posing that question. I'm gonna be like you're right,

(53:44):
Nick. I've thought about this andyou're correct. So Nick, if people
want to follow you on all thesocials, where do they find you?
My socials are Nick meets World andit's just an ic do it follow Nick?
And if you foll grant, he'llblock you with it walked leave me
alone. I don't want to.I don't want to hear anything about anything

(54:07):
I said today. And you knowwhat's so funny too, is that we
talked about that like last week andyou were like, You're like, oh,
I got a lot of feedback Igot, and I told you all
to leave me alone. I'm stillvery serious about that, dude. I
didn't get a single one yet.Single I didn't get a single message about

(54:30):
about anything we talked about. Andyou're like, dude, I got blown
up. I was like no,like literally, somebody's fair. Somebody I
got a text. It was itwas the saturday after we recorded that reboot
episode and somebody was like, youshould bring back to BTS and I was
like, I haven't done one ofthose years. What are you talking about?
Why are you still talking about it? I was like, oh,
yeah, that's right. So anyway, following neck on Instagram, all the

(54:52):
social media's, and have a safeand happy Fourth of July. Jesus dude,
come on, I'm a perfect nicotineF three spy. I'm at four
right, all right. Thanks forlistening to everybody. Bye,