The Regret

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a mojo in the morning show, Shannon, This topic
that you're about to bring up right now is a
learning lesson to all of our listeners that try to
do what you can in the moment, right now today,
because you never know if there will be another.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
But what happened, I'm sorry about this.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Yeah, I got some really, really terrible news on Saturday
evening that one of my friends from college, a sorority
sister of mine, passed away unexpectedly in the middle of
the night. Younger than me. She was two years two
years younger than me, and she an like an incredible person,

(00:37):
a teacher, a mom of a three year old little girl,
a wife, and it was just such a tragic thing
that happened that she died in her sleep and she
didn't wake up the next morning, and it just has
really it honestly is still so surreal to me that
she's not here anymore. But it's one of those situations

(00:59):
where we were really close in college, especially being in
the same sorority. We lived together, you know, for a
handful of years, and then we kept in touch after college.
She came to my bachelorette party, my first wedding, and
then after that, we just kind of like lost touch.
And it wasn't like we weren't friends anymore. It's just

(01:21):
the visits became phone calls, and then the phone calls
became texts, and then the text became a DM here
and there or a like on Instagram, and then you
hear that this this person is no longer here and
I have so much regret of not keeping in better
touch with her.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Did she did she battle in illness or what was?

Speaker 4 (01:46):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
No, they did they tell you what's going on?

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Essentially, she had a seizure, a seizure in the middle
of the night and no no history of it's just
because her husband was out of town work. Wow, so
she was by herself with the baby.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
That's even worse because I know it's really a terrible
susus bad saying this, but I feel like if if
you know that they're sick and you have time to
be able to go, hey, you know, I want to
spend some time with you. Yeah, but this gives it
is You're right, it is a lesson and you just
don't know, you don't know when your time is.

Speaker 5 (02:19):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
It really made me sit and reflect and go there
are certain people in my life that I love so
much and I hold, you know, such a special place
in my heart for and I don't necessarily, you know,
pick up the phone and keep in touch with them
or hang out with like we always say, oh, we'll
get together, we'll get together, and you never get together.

(02:40):
And so that's the purpose of me bringing this up
is like, do those things that you say you're going
to do or call that person today that you they're
on your mind, but you're like, oh, yeah, you know
the next time I'm on a long road trip, I'll
call her. No call them.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well she uh, you know, you talked about how it
seemed like when you after you her wedding, you guys
kind of stopped talking to each other. Was it a
mutual thing or did one of you try to call
each other?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
What was it? She's just like, yeah, like proximity.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
She she lives in Indiana, lived in Indiana, and.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, do you what do you remember about her when
you first met her, you know, at college and you
guys first came so she.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Was really really she had grown up with one of
my best friends who I had already known, who was
my age, and so then she came to the school
and she was just She's one of those people that
loves everybody and everything. Like she she was a huge
cat lover, which you know my feelings on cats, so
she would always try to make me like cats and
I would say, Sam, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Happened.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
But she was just so sweet and she had such
a spunk about her.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
You know, it's weird.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
We worked together for a couple of years at the mall.
It just I literally we have a group like a
shared album that we're trying to make some memory books
for her daughter. Her daughter's only three, and we want
her to you know, know her tell stories about her
Mommy know, her mom is with the we feel like
our friend group. It's the it's the least that we
could do is make like chat books or stat books
or something. And I look at photos. I'm like, this

(04:16):
is not even real and she's not here.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
You know, it's weird.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I experienced death at such a young age when my
mom had passed, but I became kind of you know,
whenever you'd have like a relative that would die, I'd
be like, oh, my uncle just died, or you know,
I kind of like because you already dealt with a
big death of a family member. It's not until you
lose somebody that is your age and or somebody that

(04:42):
was like well, close friend of yours that you go,
holy crap. It makes things like life real At that moment, it.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Feels very fragile all of a sudden, that she went
to sleep on Thursday night, yeah, and didn't wake up
on Friday morning.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
And it's wild to say this, but I I'll say
this guy had a bunch of buddies that committed suicide.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
When we were in high school and then college and stuff.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
We had probably three people that I knew that committed
suicide for you know, really sad situations for their family
and friends and all of us. But when somebody just
dies of like a natural cause where they you know,
or some kind of an illness that's not a mental
health illness, you sit there and you go, oh, my god,

(05:29):
that could happen to me, you know what I mean,
Like this really could happen. And then you start realizing,
holy crap, like you're right, I want to connect. And
it always takes something like this to make you start
reconnecting with people. Yes, but then as time goes by,
it fades and you go back into your daily routines.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
And I say, I use the word proximity because I
feel like that is really important for friendship, Like you
tend to you tend to stay in touch with on
a daily basis, the people who you see all the time,
right it.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, so I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, and think of the time that you're wasting with us. Yeah,
you could have easily gone to know. It's no, It's
funny like back, you know, a couple of weeks back,
you know, seeing the people that that showed up at
that occasion that I had, you know that at the celebration,
Like I'm like, man, you kind of realize who some

(06:23):
of your your true buddies are and friends are and
family members are and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
But he said she was like two years younger than you,
like sixty eight.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
We're trying to make jokes, Hey, hugs to to you
Shannon on that one, but also prayers.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
We have to keep prayers for.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
That year old, her husband and her daughter.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah. I could not imagine, like I just a three
year old.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
You know, that is just that's just awful to know
that your your your mom is is not there anymore.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
And the husband who's out of town.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know what I mean, like not to be there
and able to be there not only for your wife,
but for your daughter needs.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
To feel a sense of guilt because he was sleeping
next to her, would he have noticed?

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
You don't you always hear these, uh these stories sometimes
of where somebody will have like that, like a seizure,
or they'll have like an aneurysm.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
And yes, you're like, what is you want to know
the craziest part of this they were able to pinpoint
her time of death for Apple Watch.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Really yeah, they a Watch.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Eight four four Mojo Live text nine five five zero zero.
Is is our telephon number? You know, it's kind of interesting.
I did this a few years ago, and I'm going
to go back to it now. Every day, memory, I
would tell you, or every week, I would try to
reconnect with somebody who I hadn't talked to in a while. Yeah,
and just out of the blue call and leave even
a voicemail message. And so I would start calling people

(07:53):
that hadn't talked to in maybe a couple three years
or whatever. And I found myself honestly reconnect with people. Yeah,
maybe this is something to do.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Again, Yeah, because it's not that you don't like those
people anymore. It's just life gets in the way and
there are people that you love and you want a
relationship with, but we are like I hate the word busy,
but we all get to busy and there's so many
things and you forget about the things that are and
the people that are really really important pieces to your life.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Isn't this the time of year where we get caught
up in the crap? You know, we get caught up
in the holiday stuff, and we do get to the
point where it's like I feel like we're just in
this moment of our lives from now until the end
of the year. We're just trying to get to the
end of the year, and we're missing days, like we
really are missing moments and days and stuff. Like I

(08:41):
was looking at my calendar and I was looking at
the holiday party is on I think it's like the
sixteenth or something like that or whatever it is this summer.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
I was looking at it was in my calendar.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
And I'm like, oh God, but it's like I just
race through and just do appointments and I don't enjoy it.
And then yesterday, like we had that pod luck. I
actually enjoyed hanging out with her. It was really a
lot of fun. It was good to connect with some
people and just be able to sit there and just
have a meal. What's up, John, How you doing?

Speaker 6 (09:10):
How you doing?

Speaker 2 (09:11):
I'm okay, buddy, Shannon's the one struggling right now.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
Yeah. I was calling in with a similar situation. My fiance.
She had a friend come over and I met her
for the first time. We had some drinks that evening,
so we didn't let her drive home. Next morning, she says,
I'm gonna go see my son because she got a
call from her son.

Speaker 7 (09:33):
I'll be back.

Speaker 6 (09:35):
While she was gone, she ate something with pistachios and
had an allergic reaction, went straight to the hospital. While
she was there, wound up with pneumonia and died.

Speaker 8 (09:46):
Like within twenty four hours.

Speaker 6 (09:48):
Here, I'm waiting for this. Here, I'm waiting for this
lady to come back this evening, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 (09:54):
And it never came back.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
He was just that fast, perfectly healthy before that.

Speaker 8 (10:00):
John.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sure it's a struggle. I'm sure
you're you're you're having a tough time. I hope that
you listen to this and know that we're we're going
to comfort you, buddy with some thoughts.

Speaker 6 (10:13):
I mean, it's for them, but it just really played
with my psychology in my mind.

Speaker 7 (10:18):
You know.

Speaker 6 (10:18):
You know here I just met this lady. She says
she's coming back, and next day I know she's passed away.

Speaker 8 (10:25):
Yeah, you know, it's weird.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's awful, buddy. Thank you, Thank you for calling in
and sharing that. Man, we're thinking of those guys. What's up,
hey Chock, Hey, hey Mojoe, what's going on?

Speaker 8 (10:39):
So my mom bugged us for three months to pre
come and help her pre playing her funeral. She was
not sick or anything, and eight days later she was
in a car accident and died.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Oh my god, is she what do you what do
you equate that to?

Speaker 1 (10:56):
I mean, is it one of those things where she
kind of had a a feeling or something.

Speaker 8 (11:05):
So yep, she was, Yep, perfectly fine. We were planning
a trip to Sicily later in the year and wow,
and the same thing that Shanna talked about her Apple
watch told us she was in an accident. That's how
we found out.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
That reminds me of a story about a radio mentor
friend of mine that I've talked about before on the air,
But Kid Kradick was a legend in the radio business.
He's a Hall of Famer and Kid he for years
woke up so many different people. But he also gave
guys like me and people like Shannon and Kevin and

(11:41):
Anna somebody to listen to and aspire to be. And
he did a radio topic on Friday about planning your
own funeral and then died that weekend, and uh, And
it's like it's almost kind of like you think to yourself,
like your his you know, mom planning in this funeral.
It's almost like something sending you this, you know what,
I'm going to do this thing, so it makes it nice.

(12:02):
But it's almost like maybe God's way of telling you, Hey,
you know what, you're coming home.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
What's going on? Kelly?

Speaker 4 (12:10):
So my dad we all met out for Sunday breakfast
and he was going to come to my house afterwards,
and I just had a baby, so I wasn't paying
attention to the time. My mom called me and she's like, Hey,
has your dad made it over there? I haven't heard
from him, And I was like, no, I haven't. And

(12:31):
it turns out he had a heart attack while he
was driving over to my house, and he got resuscitated
three times but ended up passing away in the hospital
after that.

Speaker 6 (12:43):
But good.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
I mean it's been three years now, so you know,
he was just a jokester. So my best advice is
when you're feeling sad, just think us their jokes, Just
think us their personality. Just kind of be like ah, dang,
Like you know, you need to get mad for them
not being here, but at the same time, it's just
better just to joke around and be like, oh, he

(13:09):
would have done this. Yeah, Kelly, you gotta you gotta
have a positive outlook and make sure that you just
honor them.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, that's a great as they wouldn't want to be sad. Yeah,
that's a great plan.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
And actually something I tell Chelsea all the time, especially now,
you know, since after she she got diagnosed with cancer,
was take pictures, like she never would want to be
in a picture. Take a picture. Who cares how you
feel like you look. Take a picture because we all
want to remember whoever that person is through the eyes
of pictures, you know, and going through you know, pictures

(13:46):
for you has to be amazing to be able to
look at some of the stuff that you guys did
when you're in college, funeral home. Tom, we haven't heard
from you in a while. Tom, where have you been.

Speaker 7 (13:55):
I've called to the times and never got through. But
that's okay, okay, questions to me. Listen. You gotta remember,
you guys, we come to this world naked, and we
come into this world with somebody needing to take care
of us. The same thing happens when we die. We're
gonna come leave this world naked and someone's gonna give
us our lands bath. You have to remember, too, every

(14:17):
day is a blessing. Okay, every minute that you met,
there's one minute less that you're gonna have. So you
got to put all the petty stuff behind you.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Tom.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
You look at as a customer, don't you.

Speaker 6 (14:30):
No?

Speaker 2 (14:30):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, you do, you son of a bed and look
at like the old men and old ladies and go,
I'm probably gonna see her.

Speaker 7 (14:37):
No. But the funny part is when I go to
church and stuff, all the old ladies and old man
come up and give me big hugs.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah, there's Tom. It makes me look to Tommy owns
one suit it's black, right, No, I own.

Speaker 7 (14:51):
Several suits, but yeah, most of them are blast all
the fact that the man there is we have to
reach out to the people that we love because so
much time.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
He doesn't count sheep. When he sleeps, he counts cask
he does those caskees add up to dollars for funeral time.

Speaker 7 (15:16):
You guys, you guys all joke about it, but it's
a lifestyle with funeral director. You see people that you know,
you see people that you talk to every day. Another
week later, they're not there anymore.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
Man.

Speaker 5 (15:29):
Question for you, Tom, if somebody close to you passed away,
would you be the one to them naked?

Speaker 7 (15:38):
Like, Oh, well, I'm not. I'm not actually a license
more attation. My son is and and we have all
license more attitions working for us. So I wouldn't be
the one necessarily preparing you.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, you're just doing the planning.

Speaker 5 (15:52):
Would you want your son to prepare you?

Speaker 7 (15:55):
But you know that's a tough question, that really is.
I don't know that I didn't want to. That'd be
up to Hill.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah, yeah, uh, all right. Will you take care of yourself?

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Tom?

Speaker 1 (16:06):
We love you so much. You go hold on real quick,
hold on, stand on the phone bill. What did you
want to say?

Speaker 7 (16:12):
Hey, hey, Mojoe, I told my daughters put me in
a basebook cap, polo shirt and shorts, breathing in a suit.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Has anybody ever been buried Tom? And anything other than
a suit? I want to be buried in.

Speaker 7 (16:25):
Some guys that people come in that couldn't afford it suit.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Oh jeez, hey Tom, Okay, yeah, do you give them something?

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Well?

Speaker 7 (16:34):
I have I have suits in my closet. I got
like just for that. Put in a suit?

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Can I can I be?

Speaker 7 (16:44):
I can put I can put you on one n
will probably come up to.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
His ankles and they won't just keep yeah, keep the
the other end closed, Tom, Can I be buried in
a Lions jersey?

Speaker 2 (16:54):
That's what I would like? If I want to be
buried in the Lions, you can be.

Speaker 7 (16:57):
You can memorialize your you can momorialize your funeral any
way you want. There's you can we can get a cask,
especially maybe that's Alliance casket for you.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
All right, Well, take care of yourself. Guys, appreciate you
being on with us and Shannon. Our prayers to your
friend's family. That's that's sad.