May 21, 2024 • 49 mins
On this weeks episode of the Slightly Messy Show Mike and Meaghan talk about how she was ignored in the morning show group chat during an emergency. Then we talk about how we would lie to our parents growing up while we were out being heathens in the streets of Sylvania and Belding.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I have no hostility. You're theone with a problem around here. I
have zero problems. I've never hadan attitude a day in my life.
You're gonna see me for two moredays, three more days, and then
you never have to see me again. Good. At least you could at
least be nice the last three days. I start now a problem, Michael,
(00:23):
and I am so sorry that youfaced part of it. There is
one joy of being single with nokids, and it's I have no real
responsibilities. Go. This is theSlightly Messy Show with Mike and Megan.
Open State Me Messy Shows, MessyMike and Megan. It's a slightly messy
(00:47):
Show with Mike and Megan. SlightlyMessy Show. You can listen to this
anywhere on the iHeartRadio app with theMore Mojo podcast. Yeah yeah, And
I have to ask, is thereason you're hostel today because your place almost
(01:10):
caught on fire? Or is thatare you just just having a day?
Okay, both, it's really both. It's a lot. My life is
falling apart right now. It's fine. Yeah, wait for therapy next week
if I can. A warning.Uh, it was, I've just been
going through some lately, man andthis weekend, I finally had my brother
(01:33):
come visit me, and he broughtmy dog, which, you know what,
if you're in my DMS asking ifI have my dog anymore, stop
asking. I don't need the reminderthat I don't have my dog anymore.
Okay, my dog doesn't mind meanyway. I'm kidding. That's a long
joke that I shouldn't have even broughtup to get into. But my brother
(01:53):
and my dog were over this weekend, huh. And I have never I've
been in my apartment now since whatlike October till we're in November, November,
December, December, Janier, Journey, Favruary, March, March,
April, April May, almost eightmonths, so seven months, almost eight
months. And I had never heardmy fire alarm before. And on Sunday
(02:14):
morning, I wake up The Lord'sDay, the Lord's blessed, the day
the Lord has made. Let usrejoice and be glad. Catholic School reference.
Because I woke up to the soundof the fire alarm going off,
and I thought, I really can'tbe bothered right now. And I thought,
(02:38):
if I was home alone, Iwould not leave this building. I
would risk it. But because asmall dog is on the line. And
if my apartment building really is onfire and we get trapped because I was
too lazy to go outside and thisdog dies, I'm going to hell.
Like add it to the laundry listof reasons why I'm going to And so
(03:00):
I get up and I really wasn'tin that big of a rush. I
decided we're gonna change our clothes,We're gonna take off last night's makeup.
I gotta PM rush my teeth.I don't know how long I'm gonna be
outside of this building. So there'sreally a fire, you're in big danger
here, for sure. Absolutely,But if there really is a fire and
(03:20):
I'm left outside in my pajamas withyesterday's makeup on and not brush teeth,
that's true, I'm gonna feel likeI'm in a worse position at that point.
Take me out, fam, Iwasn't meant to live. So I'm
getting out of my apartment building.And then I forgot. Like the dog's
freaking out because the alarm is loud, and like she doesn't know what's going
on. I'm trying to catch herin the house and she's she's fast as
(03:44):
fuck, boy, So like me, chasing my dog around my apartment while
she's funny running full blast, whichif you don't know, I have an
Italian greyhound. She's a miniature greyhoundand runs about twenty five miles an hour,
so when she doesn't want to getcaught, she won't get caught.
And I'm like, god, dude, I don't want to do this right,
I have zero interest in going outside. Already, she's hitting your hardest.
(04:05):
Finally she sits down like gotcha,bitch, and her artists. We
go outside and there's just a floodof firefighters. There's like thirty firefighters,
a couple of trucks, an ambulance, and I'm like, oh shit,
this seems like it might be areal fire. Probably should have had a
little more hostle. Thankfully, there'sa park right outside of my apartment building,
(04:29):
and there's like a lot of seating, and I just see a poor
assembly of the only people who leftthe building are people with pets, because
all of us have dogs and catsand everything, and nobody doesn't have a
pet. Everybody who didn't have apet was like, I'm a wait,
and all the people with pets arelike, fuck, okay, we gotta
leave now. So we see thisflood of firefighters coming into the building and
(04:53):
we're like, oh that that doesn'tfeel good. Like there's a lot of
them. That feels like this mightbe a real emergency. Yeah, you
know, truck, it's a couple. Uh. And then they're going in
and out the building over and overand over again. And my building has
businesses on the first floor, andthese businesses are not open yet, so
like they're trying to break into thebusinesses to figure out where this fire is.
(05:16):
One of them is a restaurant,and so it was like, oh,
maybe there's a kitchen fire whatever.So I'm like, oh no,
this looks good. None of thisfeels good. Everybody's in a rush.
Nobody can figure out where it is. Oh no. And then I do
what I always do, and Isend a video to the group. Chat
(05:38):
In it, my brother has thebest line. He's like, he s's
a beautiful day outside, but yeah, beautiful day for my all my possessions
to be gone. So excited towatch everything I own burn to the ground.
I did intentionally leave my work backpackback so that I couldn't work for
a couple of days. Oh man, I can't. I would love to
I had to take priorities and tosee and so we're sitting I send a
(06:03):
video to the group chat that goesabsolutely ignored by every single member of our
show. Thank you so much forthat. Genuinely thought I was about to
lose every one of the possessions thatI owned. Somebody sent an Instagram video
and everybody started reacting to that instead. So appreciate that Mojo in the morning
group chat. Appreciate all of youfor caring about my well being when there
(06:27):
was a funny meme to react to. If I'm being honest, I don't
think I saw it. I meanI looked in the chat, but there's
so much that happens so fast,and then once everybody gets on a tangent
about something else, dude, Idon't even scroll up. I was genuinely
so salty to be it says,not for posting on social but isn't this
(06:47):
crazy? And I film my building, all the firefighters fired, the fire
trucks, the alarms going off.My brother goes, well, it's a
beautiful day outside. I thought thatwas fucking hysterical and also genuinely scary at
the same time. And I thinkit was keV posted an Instagram meme about
three minutes later, and everybody reactedto that, no worries, fam No,
(07:10):
No, I'm sitting outside half inmy pajamas because let's be honest,
I changed the shirt, nothing else. I slept in the pants I was
wearing, and I was like,none of you care. So anyways,
so we're sitting outside for like agood thirty forty minutes. Firefighters are going
in and out, but nobody's pullingout a hose and we're getting really confused
because they're rushing around everywhere and they'relike trying to break into the businesses,
(07:32):
but like there's no no water,and I feel like for a fire,
really need some water absolutely, maybeextinguisher, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
And then I started saying guys comeout carrying their coats and I was like,
I feel like there wasn't a fire. Why somebody trucks not an emergency.
So because our fire alarm genuinely wentoff in a way that was super
(07:56):
faulty, and because it went offon the first floor, which is where
the businesses are, but also likethe lobby to our apartments, they couldn't
figure out where the fire was becausethe businesses were closed, but there wasn't
a fire. It was just afaulty fire alarm. That's the good news.
The bad news is all of thefirefighters left. There's like forty people
sitting outside and we're all watching allthis go down. But there are forty
(08:20):
people waiting to hear from the firefighterswhat's going on or if we can go
back inside. Not a single oneof them decided to give us an update
on what happened. They all justat the same time walked to the trucks
and pulled off. They didn't sayno, fire guys are good. They
didn't say, oh, it wasa faulty fire alarm. And then all
(08:41):
of us just kind of looked ateach other and was like, we're good,
so can we go in? What'sup? What happened? What's going
on? Are we oh? Areyou going to be back? Are we
good? That's so wild. Wewanted to just leave and not say anything
(09:01):
to the group of people waiting tohear what to do. Yes, yes,
it's absolutely weird. And what atthat point too, what are the
buildings around there? Do are theygetting out of there? Are they leaving
because this is in their businesses andstuff are on there, so yes,
but our building has like a gapbetween other businesses. So there's like businesses
in my building. But then solike the first two floors are businesses and
(09:26):
then there's apartments above them. Andso because it was the weekends, all
of the businesses were closed out early. And then uh yeah, they just
the rest of the buildings are likethere's alleys and stuff between them, so
nobody else really seemed to care.I remember I was staying at my mom's
(09:50):
when she lived in Chicago, andthe building next to her apartment building caught
on fire and they didn't tell therewas no alarm in the actual building we're
in, but you looked out thatlike you hear we heard the fire trucks,
and you're like, oh, Iwonder what's going on. But you
always heard fight. It's Chicago.You always hear fire trucks. You always
hear noises. So we just happened. It was like Christmas time. We
just happened to look out the windowand we look across and one of the
(10:13):
they had like wood porches on theback of them, what are the wood
porches? Was on fire. We'relike, hey, do we need to
leave? Like what is the protocolhere. Why is the Why is nobody
communicating this? It's always crazy tobe in an actual emergency. How many
people just don't care? Uh yeah, yeah whatever. It's the same with
(10:33):
tornadoes, Like I have lived throughenough tornadoes that have demolished where I live.
Like I've had a tornado go throughmy neighborhood before and like rip off
people's roofs and bring down trees,and like they're not fun to me anymore.
They're scary. There was one tornadothat went through my area so about
it tour down a high school.So like, tornadoes to me are not
(10:54):
interesting. They're terrifying. And everytime I see somebody stand outside watching a
tornado, I'm like, that's howpeople die. That is how people die.
Why are you doing that? Youwill die? That's it happens.
I wanna they have buses and Ithink it's a Midwest thing where you can
(11:15):
literally hop in them and ride andchase tornadoes like the movie Twister, and
that is I can't convince anybody togo with me, not even my family.
That is what I want to do, and I want to take a
week off of work and I justwant to chase tornadoes. That's it.
That's all I want to do withmy life. Don't hear what else happens.
That's how people die, not ifyou are in a if you're chasing
them, they're going a certain way. It's not like they turn around and
(11:37):
come back at you. If you'refollowing one, it's not like I want
to drive into the tornado. Ineed you to do me a favor because
this popped up on my I'm veryexcited for Twisters, by the way,
the sequel to Twister. I loveTwister the movie in a way that is
unhealthy, and my brother and mydad make fun of me religiously for it.
But when I was little, itwas Dorothy. It was the Machine,
and I love Wizard of Us.I was obsesshon with Twister because they
(12:00):
had the Dorothy. Yeah, andI used to watch that movie all the
time. And when I had noidea that a sequel was coming out,
and my brother and I go tothe movies intentionally early to rate movie trailers,
and we do like the Troy thumbsup, thumbs down, thumbs middle,
like do we want to go seeit in theaters? A hard pass
or maybe depends up. A bettertrailer comes out or good reviews. And
(12:22):
when Twisters Too came out and Ihad no idea sequel was coming, my
brother just went, oh, fucknow, and I was like what I
said, why why? Because I'mbecause Twister is not a good movie.
Stop you stop it right now,you stop it. I don't want to
(12:43):
hear another word out of your mouth. I don't care what i am dB
or Rotten Tomatoes says. I don'tcare. I don't care. I don't
even want to watch it again becauseI what I remember in my head was,
yes, was the greatest Tornado movie. If there are any other Tornado
movies, I don't know of alltime, of all time. She just
came, Helen Hunt just came toI think it was comic con Imagine theaters
(13:05):
and did a screening where I thinkthey showed the new movie, maybe the
old one, and they watched themovie with Helen Hunt. Do you know
how damn awesome that is? Tome? That is the great outside of
sitting inside of Dorothy herself right itself. That is the that that is the
greatest, That is the greatest thingin the entire world. It is a
(13:28):
great movie. I can't watch iteither, because I do think I have
that nostalgic like I remembered it asperfection. I can't rewatch it, but
it's it's gonna be a terrible movie. No. When when the trailer came
out and it's like it's trees,it gave me double rainbow vibes, and
I was like, that's true,it's gonna be so bad. But I
(13:48):
need you because it's actually genuinely poppedup on my for you page the other
day tiktack. Have you ever watchedlike the Japlin Missouri documentary or anything?
I have not know. I getso into it, and then I start
getting all these weird tornado videos onmy for you page, and there are
so many storm chasers that get hitby tornadoes. It's not even funny.
(14:09):
And I lead you to watch thevideo. How it's not like you drop
How Okay, I'll watch it.I'll watch it, but I don't understand
how if you're chasing a tornado,it's tornadoes don't stop and turn around right
they go. They have one theyhave a direction they're going, and usually
it's it's forward or at an anglelike it's it doesn't just stop and go
whooo and do a UI and comeback. They can move, They can
(14:31):
move. I don't know if Twisterhas taught me anything. As long as
you don't drive into the center ofthem, you should be just fine.
Rotten speaking of that, Rotten Tomatoesdid give it. I don't know what's
a good person. I imagine eightyninety is like a solid percentage with I
Personally, I think like seventy andabove is good because I think Rotten Tomatoes
is too harsh. Sixty three audiencescore. Audience score E sees me.
(14:58):
A few critics think it's better thanthe audience. God, I want to
watch it now. Why do Iremember it being so it's gonna ruin it?
I know it's gonna run. Idon't want to. It's more of
a cheesy love story than it isabout tornadoes. Tornado love story and their
love for tornadoes, and how they'rea cyclone circling each other. So many
(15:24):
metaphors, so many tornado metaphors,even in the cover of the movie.
It's so ridiculous because they're holding handsas though they are lovers, right,
Yeah, and a tornado is flyingat them like it's chasing them, essentially
them apart. Yes, because theyboth wanted to be first, Do you
(15:46):
have a movie that you absolutely lovethat is bad, because like Contact is
one of mine. Oh Contact,I don't know that I've seen that one.
I think we talked about that onebefore, didn't We didn't we talk
about that one? Hold Us DeadDead nineteen ninety seven movie came out the
same time as Yeah, and Inevers love this. What's what's context rating?
(16:07):
I bet it's like forty eight.It's almost the exact same as Twister.
It's a bad movie. I loveit. I don't know what it
would get today. And I don'tknow if it was good or if it's
just it's just legendary because people rememberit. But I always thowt ace Ventura
was a good movie, like agreat movie, you know it's I see
(16:30):
And I don't know if it wouldhit. I don't know if it would
do well today. I heard it'slike hook and if you didn't see it
as a kid, it's so funny. Look is a good one too.
But it's actually a bad movie.So is it really Yeah, Like if
you're ever if you ever watch itas an adult, first, the movie's
really really bad. Okay, it'snostalgic as a kid, that's why you
still think it's good. Uh RottenTomatoes ace Ventura ooh thirty eight, ooh
(16:56):
ooh, low end, low endnow forty seven worse. Yeah, it's
worse that. Let me look uphook now. So it's you think it's
only good because of the memory youhad when you watched the movie. You
don't think it's good in general.Correct, it's Robin Williams. Yeah,
but it's it's not him. Isit bad? Oh? It's bad?
(17:18):
Is it like twenty two? Twentynine percent? Yeah, it's a really
bad movie. Go back and watchit as an adult, and then picture
anybody else other than Robin Williams asPeter Pan, and you'll realize how bad
the script is. And he's justso lovable and so phenomenal as a kid
that like, you like him asPeter Pan. But the movie is bad?
Oh no, oh no? Isit based? Holy? Why?
(17:45):
So? What about like, speakingof Robin Williams, what about Jamunji?
I love Jamuji. I think thatone has like a sixty something or seventy
something. I used to rotten tomatoeseverything. I used to live on rotten
tomatoes fifty one? Yeah, okay, what about missus Telflair. Oh,
that's gotta be high, it's gonnabe super. I'm gonna put that in
the eighties seventy. So they aretough. They are tough on them.
(18:07):
But still I agree with most ofwhat they're saying. The longer a movie
is out, the lower it gets. Oh I didn't know that. Yes,
So, like really old movies havetons and tons and tons of reviews
and they age poorly and so theirscore will drop over time. I'm not
kidding you. I spent so muchtime on Rotten Tomatoes in my life it's
not even funny. This is great. I love rotten Tomatoes. But also
(18:30):
I want to talk about this morethan anything else we're going to talk about
today, movies that we thought wereamazing but are actually super shitty, actually
like like just terrible. So we'vewe've established Asian Tour was no good?
What was yours? Contact? Nogood? No good? I love it?
Yeah Yesterday, Yeah no good.Somebody said Sharknado. Obviously that's a
(18:53):
great movie, and I don't trustyour opinion. Somebody said The Proposal Comedy
are weird because they don't get alot of love in like the Oscars and
stuff. But they get a lotof love from critics. So I'm gonna
say it has like a seventy eight, No, no, forty five?
What the proposal? Yeah? Yeah, going off Ryan Reynolds too. What
(19:17):
about just Friends? No, that'sgot to be like a thirty I would
assume so as well. Oh yousaid a thirty yeah, Oh no,
I would have gone higher. Iwould have gone sixty sixties. I was
we were you were closer. Youwere much closer forty two. I think
Ghostwriters in the single digits of theteens, and so is the Green Lantern.
Green Lantern was terrible. That wasa bad movie. Oh bad.
(19:38):
Let's see what it got. There'sno way proposal was that low? Twenty
five percent for Green Lantern? Oh? I think it went back up.
I think it used to be inthe teens. I wonder if his like
his Deadpool, helped people like gowatch it and then they changed their PA.
Wasn't for this movie, we wouldn'thave done. Yeah, thank you.
I'm trying to think of a moviefrom my childhood that I'd love that
(20:02):
I would watch on repeat. StuartLittle has got to have a low score.
Stuart Letto, what would you guessbefore you forty two. Mmm,
I'm gonna say forties is a goodguess. I'm just gonna say fifties.
But I think you're right. No, you gotta be kidding me. Is
(20:22):
everything that I think bad have agood score? Yes? Six? No
way for Stuart Little No Wizard ofsomebody said Wizard of Oz. I feel
like that's not a high score.Yeah, and I don't feel like it's
fair. It was a nineteen thirtynine film. It's gonna be in like
holy nineties. Ye. Yeah,I'm asking it certified fresh at like ninety
seven. Yeah, who ninety eightsays here? But yeah, basically that
(20:48):
what else? One percentage off certifiedfresh? Come on, Matilda, Matilda
has to be good. Yeah,I'm gonna give it a ninety two dead
on Hell yeah, it on.I'm either super accurate or way off.
Movies from the nineties, I wouldsay late nineties, late nineties, early
(21:11):
two thousands, late nineties. Doyou remember the Three Ninjas? I wonder
what that has had a low score. I bet it has a low score.
I bet it has a low score. Fuck. I don't want to
look here Rocky. I want itto be Rocky so bad Rocky looks and
Leek Rocky looks and Lee. God. I love that movie as a kid.
(21:34):
It was a great movie. Threeninjas. It's gotta be bad.
It's gotta be like thirty yeah,thirty five. Damn it. I'm so
good at this. Okay, Ithink this one might be better than what
I think it is. But Ialso watched it recently when the new or
(21:55):
the second version of this came out. Hocus Pocus, I thought it was
a great movie, but I don'tremember. I think it's just because I
had a crush on seventy seven.You say, what seventy seven Pocus seventy
seven? I wouldn't. I wouldstill say sixties based on their their rating
forty shut up, no forty percent. No Hocus Pocus the original. You
(22:18):
lie, You absolutely lie. Iswear Halloween Town's got to have like a
seventeen percent. Then, God,I love Halloween Town. Talk about a
bad movie that we loved. Uh, what does it have? Eighty three
percent? What a bullshit? Absolutebullshit. There is no way Halloween Town
(22:42):
has double the ratings that hocus Pocusdoes. Absolutely not. Something feels off
there, something as a hair inthe buty. Yeah, well that's stupid.
What other ones I could I coulddo this all day. Oh,
somebody online Heather said, space Jamis the movie that I liked as a
(23:03):
kid and I hate now. Ithink the new one sucks. I don't
think the old one is that good, though I loved it. Well,
yeah, I mean the same.My microphone did that thing again? What
did it do? Am I superloud? Or is that just my headphones?
Might just be my headphones. You'rea little bit louder? Yep?
Why, I don't know's nothing worksin this building. You know what we
(23:27):
all complain about the temperature and howeverything breaks. That's that's what we mean.
In the middle of just talking,my microphone turned itself up and I
think it just turned me down fortythree percent. But the audience score was
sixty three for space Jam. Yeah, not could my favorite. I never
(23:49):
saw. Somebody said space Balls.I don't think I've ever seen that.
No, because we talked about this, because it's a Mel Gibson movie,
and every member of the show isnot cultured in any way whatsoever. The
only the only Mel Gibson movie I'veever seen is the Robin Hood movie We
Are Men Women, And he's sofunny and nobody on our show has watched
(24:11):
any of his movies except for meand I guess you and one one I
got, but that I can unlessI've watched one and didn't know that I
watched one. Have you seen theproducers? Have you seen Flaming Saddles or
Blazing Tittles, Blazing Settles? Iknow what it is, history of the
world. Oh my god, truly, young Frankenstein. I'm so happy to
(24:41):
be you. Know. What Ihave seen, though, is who framed
Roger Rabbit? Which somebody suggested,I have seen Little Rascals, those gems.
Little Rascals has got to be good. That's got to be like a
solid sixty mm. I put LittleRotten to ninety four. It's where I
(25:03):
learned to wiggle my ear. Ohsit, well, this is bad.
This is real bad. Audience scoresseventy percent. What Little Rascals? That's
what? Yeah, But the rottenor Tomato meter is twenty one percent.
Yeah, Oh my god, BlazingSaddles has an eighty nine percent. It's
(25:27):
a good movie. It's a goodmovie. Okay, it's a great movie.
What's what was the other one?Oh, framed Roger Rabbit? Oh?
I bet that's fifty five ninety sixpercent. No way, I'm not
(25:48):
joking. I love that movie.I'm not mad at that. I love
it too. I didn't expect that, though. I did not expect that
I was about to get super nerdlyand be like, well, if you
know anything about film history, theuse a lot of experimental techniques that were
then used in future cinema and avery interesting puppetry. I love that because
(26:11):
I am a nerd with too muchtime on her hands, and I watch
film history stuff all of the time. Somebody slightly missy shure, Oops,
all right, go ahead, goahead, continue. Somebody's had the Disney
movie smart House, and I reallydo need to know your guests before we
move on, the best Disney Channelmovie ever made. Still well, it
(26:36):
doesn't have a critics score. Surprise, surprise, surprise, surpriss press uh
in scores of fifty, which isthere's also someone on here mighty ducks.
Oh that's gonna be low eighties.See I would say that too, but
with the way that this is going, it's probably a lot lower, a
(26:57):
lot lower. Mm YEP audience scoresixty five percent, Tomato Meter twenty three
percent. That's this is wild.I know, I don't know if I
trust it too much. What wouldyou trust more in this? Would you
trust the audience score or the criticsscore? I think when it comes to
(27:19):
comedy is the audience score. Yeah, And actually when it comes to like
political stuff, the audience more.You think? So? Uh yeah,
because after we're seeing Civil War,which came out this year, and reading
critics reviews, they all had massivesticks up their butts, and I think
that they took it. They weretrying to be like, know what,
(27:40):
all pretentious in new reviews and itwas really funny because if you were watching
the movie and just paid attention,the point is so much simpler than they
were trying to all make they endedto do it. I think the breakdown
is this, and I'm like,you obviously missed the very simple, laid
out point that was trying to bemade here. But nice to know that
you are the ones being paid forthis, right. It's a slightly missy
(28:03):
show up, absolutely pathetic. Lovethe show. You guys are doing a
great job with Mike and Megan.I think that was great. If you
want to end it there, orwe can go on and do another topic,
I know you got things to do. We gotta talk about yourself unless
you've got to get out of here. I don't. I asked you the
(28:25):
question, Julior. So I wentand met with a buddy of mine who
is also a client here, buthe works at Yeah, he runs a
place called Discount Door, which isa garage door cup but it is how
I got by. Yeah, Igot one of those lyft masters with like
the the camera in it and everything. Okay, can I see you a
(28:48):
question? Yes, what Grand Rapidsbusiness has the best local jingle? Service
professor is a solid one? Okay, service professor they fix it in a
snap. Is O'Reilly's is not justGrand Rappids and it's O'Reilly O'Reilly's. Everything
(29:11):
is s in the end from theMidwest. Kia Kia used to have a
good one, and I think theybrought it over to the East side.
But it was that that the keythat you know, those are national and
they just put into local dealership stateright. No, obviously didn't know that.
Thanks thanks for that behind the becauseit was you you should be driving
(29:33):
a Kia Taylor key that's in Toledo. Oh, then I I did not
know that. I only brought thisup because you said like a garage door
players And there's a business in Toledocalled Toledo Door Window and they're commercial used
to have a cartoon like talking garagedoor and it would go Toledo Door and
(29:56):
Window Home of the Tucking Door.Boo boob. Then it was like a
horn. Is that what that was? No, it wasn't even like a
horn. It was just like adead But I just didn't commit. So
sorry, what a long way ofgoing around. But he's a groade short.
It's like what iconic jingle? Sothey don't have a jingle yet,
(30:19):
but there's still time. And Iwas chatting with him, I don't know,
a couple of days ago, andwe're talking about his his kids and
just shooting the shit or whatever,and he tells me that he tells me
a story about his his sons orwhatever, and he's we're talking about going
back and forth on you know,our kids, and he tells me his
story about this winter where his sonis like taking his truck out and I
(30:44):
think he's he's starting to drive andhe's using it for stuff and he at
some point took it out without askingand then yeah, and then a deer
hit it, but he told hisdad that he hit it with a snowblower,
like he was snowplow the driveway andhit the truck with it. Oh
okay, So wait, did hehit the deer or did the deer hit
(31:06):
him? I mean, I Idon't know. I don't I didn't ask
the deer. I think I genuinelydon't know. He's probably driving down the
road and it hit the truck atsome point, hit the side or hit
the front or something. Can Itell you when you told me about this?
Uh huh, I had a differentmental picture. What did you do?
You think the deer just walked upto it and punched him. No,
(31:26):
I thought he hit a deer witha snowblower Like that was his excuse,
Like that's why there was like no, no, no, no no.
So he but he's in like fearmode because his dad has threatened him
with something that's not real, andmaybe that's more the topic than anything.
He's told him that there's a placein Nevada. It's like a boot camp,
(31:49):
and if he doesn't get his shittogether because he keeps screwing up,
they're going to force him to goout to Nevada and work at this boot
camp, and it's like kids whohave to I don't know even know what
they do, but it's basically he'sthreatened with something that's not a real thing.
So instead of just telling his dad, I took your car when I
wasn't supposed to and I hit adeer with it, he said, I
(32:12):
was snowblowing the driveway. Makes himlook like a snowblow, you know,
linked like a good kid on thedriveway or whatever. Accidentally hit your car.
He said, I walked outside.The driveway wasn't even plowed at all.
Then there was no tracks of theof the of the snowplow at all,
but there's tracks of the truck leaving, there's tracks of the truck coming
(32:35):
back. And then he goes tolook at the truck and there's hair and
fur and blood caked into the truck, and he's like he said he called
him at school at the time andwas like, hey, you have two
minutes to explain to me why there'san animal stuck in my truck. And
he ended up telling him or whatever. He was fucking pissed. And so
(32:58):
the the did you ever when youwere a kid? Two things? I
guess it could come out of this. Did you ever make up a ridiculous
story to get out of something withyour parents all the time, all the
time? What was your favorite one? I was raised in a super strict
household. Of course I lied allof the time. You think Scott make
was super He doesn't seem like asuper Oh oh yeah, he's super strong,
(33:22):
like so strict that I think mycurfew, even as a twenty year
old, was like nine pm.Really, I wasn't allowed to go to
R rated movies until I was anadult. I wasn't like, oh very
I was not allowed to stay thenight on campus when I was a college
student. I had to come homeevery single night. I could not stay
with friends. I could not stayanywhere. I had to come home.
(33:43):
I was an adult and had tocome home. Granted had a full time
job, which I'm still doing.And he was like, you can't be
drusted. So yeah, I wouldlie all of the time unless my dad
is listening, and then I neverlied knowing once ever. Did you get
busted for any of them? Yes, At one point I literally like totaled
(34:06):
the car and I told my dad, oh my god, he I hydrol
planes and he was he got tothe accident and there was barely any water
on the ground, and he waslike, you didn't fuck an hydroplane.
I was like, I swear toGod there was a puddle there ten minutes
ago and I hit it. Hewas like, you are an idiot and
a terrible driver. And I went, U, huh yeah, I uh
(34:28):
oh. I got caught in aline one time because my dad asked where
I was and I said I washanging out where my brother worked, and
uh. He was like with who, and I said my brother, And
my brother was at home with mydad. So I got caught in that
one real quick. I remember theone that always comes out when uh,
when I think about the dumb excusesthat I made is I used to sneak
(34:49):
out of the house a lot,a lot. I had a bedroom that
was perfect for it. It wasa way. I was at the opposite
side of my parents' house. Thewindow was quiet, it was easy.
I lived on a My parents hadlike a we had like eleven acres or
whatever, so like I could literallyjust walk in Belby, eleven acres in
Belby, and and so I would. There weren't other there weren't neighbors,
(35:14):
right there there were neighbors, butnot right right there that could be like,
hey, somebody is sneaking out ofyour house. And so what I
would do is I would sneak outin the summertime especially, and then just
come back before they went to work, and so they had no idea I
was even gone, and so Iwould One time I did it, and
it was the middle of winter,and I used to have do you remember
those big puffy coats, Like Ithink Structure had them at the time,
(35:37):
but like DMX used to wear thembig poofy red coats. Maybe it wasn't
Structure, but they were huge inlike two thousands early two thousands. Oh,
and DMX wore a lot of thingsthat looked like it. That's I
think that's why I bought it.If I'm being honest, can you give
(35:58):
me your best DMX watch orly woh oh perfect? DMX? Are you
back from the grave? Are youhere? Are you here with me?
And so I one time came homein the middle of winter and that big
poofy red vest and waited at theend of the driveway which was like a
(36:21):
long driveway, and waited for mypantasy go to work again, like I
always do. And they never left, and I said, well, that's
weird. Why are they Why arethey still there? I waited and I
waited and I waited, and theysaid they saw me standing at the end
of the road. They knew mystupid coat because I was the only dumb
one that bought a bright red coatin the middle of winter. Uh.
(36:44):
And I came home and they werejust sitting there waiting for me. They
knew exactly what happened. I wasbut they let me sit out there and
freeze. Not one person came outand said, like, hey, you
could go. It was like anhour. My dad would have done that,
just the two fingers up in theair. Come here, I see
you were I want to sit aroundand away. I'm late for work and
we're going to address this. SoI didn't even have a h This was
(37:07):
before cell phones too, like,so like there was no calling me,
there was no telling me, therewas no nothing. Why didn't you walk
into the house and you're like,you guys, I think I slept walk
like I would have commanded at thatpoint, but like I walked so far
away and then I realized where itwas like five minute I was six miles
away if I had to walk back, where am I just feeling around my
(37:32):
frostbite? You got we have warmwater to warm my cold hold hand.
I was so scared. I wasnever going to make it back home to
see you again. I should havedammit, damnit. I got in big
trouble. That's the biggest and that'sthe biggest thing. I got in trouble
for what. I get in troublefor that. Yeah? Yeah, did
(37:53):
your parents ever threaten you with likethere was a camp or a uh or
like a big punishment that you wouldhave that just never ended up happening.
Ever. No, But I rememberthe first time I came home high,
Yeah, And I remember my dadknew what was up immediately. I was
trying, Oh god, I wastrying to pretend like I wasn't and I
(38:15):
really really was. And he wouldn'tleave me alone. And I don't even
think he was mad, because tobe fair, I was really responsible about
it, Like I went out withfriends, I didn't drive, I didn't
do anything. I don't think mydad doesn't care about we. I don't
think it ever bothered him when Iwas young, But I think it was
more I was scared, not scaredof my dad, like, oh,
he's a scary guy, but hewas really strict, so like I was
(38:37):
scared to disappoint him. I wasscared for him to be like you're better
than this, you know what Imean, Like he like, like you're
a kid I'm proud of, andI'm not really proud of you right now
would have been like like knife inthe heart, you know what I mean?
Yes, yeah, yeah, noexactly. That was so animated.
(39:00):
I remember coming home and I wasscared to see him, so I immediately
ran up to my room, whichis not something I would have ever done.
Like I would have went to theliving room and told him about my
evening and told him what I did. So I think me going straight up
to my room was like red flagnumber one. And then looking back at
it now with adult eyes, hethought it was hysterical, and so he
(39:21):
was like, I'm gonna make youuncomfortable as possible your home. You're safe,
you didn't drive, I'm not thatmad. Well, I'm gonna I'm
gonna talk to you. Oh Idon't feel good. Oh man, get
in the car, let's go.Let's go right in and get you some
medicine. I was like, no, I think I'm just gonna go to
sleep, man, Megan, it'sseven pm and the sun's out. I
don't think so, I'm He waslike, ied, dinner, come on
(39:43):
down, kid, and like mademe sit at the table and talk to
him. And I was like,I don't know how to be normal.
My my dad did the same.Or he threatened it. He never followed
through, but it was. Hecaught me smoking once and I was probably
like fourteen fifty or something, andwhat I would do is I would just
take a cigarette out of their packs, and so he brought home a carton
(40:06):
cigarettes. He set it down.He goes, all right, you're gonna
smoke every single one of these,yeah, he said. Next he said,
well, what he said was nexttime, next time I catch you
smoking, you're gonna smoke every singleone of these. He said, all
right. I made a smart assjoke at that time, because that's how
him and I communicated. I waslike, all right, well, i'll
hold it now for you till thathappened. He's like, no, no,
(40:27):
he started dying. But it neverhappened. And thank you, thankfully,
because I would have throw up instantly. Oh for sure. Sure,
it was like when, Oh,who is the kid my brother played hockey
with He got caught using dip onceand his dad made him put the whole
thing in his mouth, and Iremember hearing that kid vomit from a mile
(40:49):
away. Oh, that would makeyou puke instantly. Yeah, but the
whole thing. Oh why did Whydid bloomers do that? Like I caught
you doing something to do the wholething right now, do it all at
once? I know, I know. And even before that though, like
they probably it probably wasn't even abig deal. They were probably allowed to
drink, you know what I mean, they were allowed to drink. And
(41:09):
by the way, they were buyingtheir parents cigarettes and taking half of the
carton with Like all of the boomersstarted smoking when they were like twelve years
old. Yeah, yeah, andyou could do it, and they were
all doing it, like the dinnertable. I'm not wild to think about.
Like a mall, people used towalk through the mall and smoke.
People used to like, yeah,people used to drive down the road.
(41:31):
And I've seen old like PSA's whereit's like they're trying to make it so
I can't drink and drive or driveand drink a beer down the road like
it was like a news story oflike the law that they're making that you
can't drink and drive. And thefirst thought was or the interview went there.
First they tried to make us wearseat belts. Then they try to
make us you know that I can'thave a beer on the way home.
(41:52):
What is this? Now? They'remaking my kid get in a car seat.
They shouldn't just flailed back there.That three week baby should just be
rolling around. He'll be fine.You know what they used to have to
Did you ever ride in one ofthese uh the the it's not I don't
even know what to call. It'slike a seat, but it's like a
(42:12):
half seat in the back of apickup truck. Yes, it's turned sideways,
so you're sitting this way, facingeach like each other in the in
the back behind like a regular seat. Is that even a fig anymore?
Wait? I think my Ranger headMy Ranger was really old though. But
my dad was one of six IrishCatholics, and then they also had foster
(42:34):
kids all of the time, sowhen they got in the car, my
dad didn't have a seat or aseat belt. He was literally loose in
the trunk. Good luck. Yeah, that's so wild to think about it.
And it's not that long ago.Like it's not like it was hundreds
it's like BC time. No,it's like a hundred years ago if that.
(42:57):
If that, they used to havethese they have cars with seats that
face the other way, so youwere looking backwards, or you just sit
in the back of a station wagon. Whose idea was that, by the
way, that was somebody who doesn'tget motion sickness. I yeah, no,
part of that sounds like it wouldbe. I would yeah. I
don't know how you sit in it. First off. Then if you get
in an accident, you know,terrifying, that would be. It's scary
(43:19):
if you're just sitting facing forward andyou get a carna up on you.
But at least for like a fractionof a second, you can you can
see something coming. Imagine seeing nothingat all. You're just looking playing with
some probably sharp objects. At thatpoint, I don't know, a car
comes along and hits you. Thisis also the generation that had lawn darts,
so like, oh yet lawn darts. Oh those were dangerous. Kids
(43:42):
died, Lots of kids died.Remember how those got banned was because lots
of kids died. It wasn't like, you know, the first time a
kid dies, were like your kidsan idiot. Enough kids have to die
where they're like, maybe these aredangerous, but yeah, who thought,
like, hey, this is definitelya weapon. This could definitely be a
(44:06):
weapon. But we should put almostlike a flag at the end of it,
or like a dart. Let's puta dart thing at the end of
it, right, Yeah, let'sjust have people throw it up there and
see what happens. I'll give youone better. Not people children. Let's
make children throw Let's make sure kidswho have barely any spatial awareness throw a
(44:28):
dangerous object up in the air andthen hopefully not get hit. Kids want
to beat up each other, likejust playing around. They don't understand,
and you want to give them somethingsharp. We need to make nerf guns
because kids couldn't stop hitting each otherwith stuff that we had to at least
make it soft. Those were sobad. Those were so terrible. Give
(44:49):
them swords, man, Yeah,tell to throw them in the air and
run around in circles. I wonderhow many people really it had to be
a lot. I mean, weprobably don't know because the news is much
different than it then. But Ibet a lot of kids die from London.
That's sad. I shouldn't be laughing, but a lot of kids by
die from the Only good part ofthis job is the random shit I get
to google all the time. Yeah, whooah. Three kids died, but
(45:15):
thousands were injured. Like I wasgiving a bow an arrow as a kid,
and it was like a it couldkill something, right, it could
kill And I would take it,Megan, and this is this is an
actual weapon. I would take itand I would point it straight up in
the air and we would play agame. We would play a game where
(45:36):
I'd just shoot it right and we'dall run and hope that nobody got hit
by the arrow. That was lawndarts. That's yes, that's what I'm
telling you. This wasn't the game. I can't only fucking imagine if we
had those today. They saw lawndarts nineteen eighties version. I have a
bow and arrow. Do you doyou shoot things with it? No?
(46:00):
I got it from Christmas years agoand it's still in the box. Yeah.
I don't know how to set upa bow and arrow. And if
I did, what would I dowith it? Just walk around like Catness
Everdeen. Oh that would be kindof cool, ye be in your favorite
you cheot rats you can shoot ratswith it? Or bow and arrows legal
(46:21):
like to walk around with? Ohlike a like a concealed and carry type
of situation. Yeah, because youknow what, sometimes I'm just here to
out crazy the crazy. And whatif I walked around late at night and
like I cute outfit but also abowl and arrow like, try me,
bitch. So I bet the bowis legal, right, yeah? And
(46:42):
all you need is the effective,like you need to just show the effect
of like this is, this iswhat it happens. It's almost crazier to
walk around with just a bow andno arrow. Well, they don't know.
How are they gonna tell if youhave arrows? I think the arrows
might be the thing that that thatthey might question, but I don't know
the law, and that that's meguessing. But I bet if you walked
around with the bow, nobody's gonnafuck with you because they're going to think
at some point, she's got anarrow somewhere. I couldn't get peppery legally
(47:05):
delivered to my house. You couldn'twhy because of where I live. It's
not allowed, But I think it'sreally funny that I could potentially walk around
with a bow and arrow instead.Absolutely, a bow can't do anything right
the arrow somebody with it? Youcould, yeah, but that's it'd be
the same thing. I don't Idon't have to know is it legal?
(47:27):
Is it legal? But then Iwould need like a JBL speaker on one
of those carabineers, and I wouldput that on the bow and I would
just be playing the from Hunger Hands, and if anybody looks at me,
just play that noise. An individual, this is Michigan, this is legislator
(47:52):
dot m I dot gov says,an individual may carry, transport, or
possess a We could do a slingshot bow or crossbow without a hunting license
if the slingshot bow or crossbow isunloaded and uncocked and closed in a case
or carried in a vehicle location thatis not readily accessible. So you could
carry a bow and arrow like abriefcase. You could literally walk around like
(48:14):
a briefcase. But it's in theshape of a bow. You could put
you don't even have to put abow in it. Honestly, you could
put whatever you want. It's likea huge purse. So it's in like
a plastic container like you would getan old can opener in where you have
to use scissors and cut out allfour sides. You'll never be able to
open it, and you're gonna probablyneed stitches when you slice your finger open
trying to open it. Yeah,what if I just carry that around in
(48:34):
scissors. I'm was like, don'tmess with your row. I'll build this
boone and arrow. I think Iwould love it just as much too.
If you grabbed a slingshot and you'rewalking around with like a old slingshot,
Yeah, old tivy sleep shot inthe rock, but it can't be actually,
it can't be loaded. If that'sif that slingshot is loaded, that
you will get in trouble. So, just like one of those giant marbles
that have a cool design in oneman walking around and then I shot the
(48:58):
other and crazy eyes that ug withme. I can hit you with the
sling shot. Maybe I'll probably miss. My accuracy isn't that great, but
it will be a little scary pool. You better stop poo okay. But
also you only have one marble,so every time you get yourself hold on,
I gotta go find it reload followedthe Slightly Messy Show One. I
(49:24):
g at slightly messy show. Ihope you get one. I hope you
do. What is it? Isit call of duty where it's like reloading?
Yes, I think so. Itsounds right
I have no hostility. You're theone with a problem around here. I
have zero problems. I've never hadan attitude a day in my life.
You're gonna see me for two moredays, three more days, and then
you never have to see me again. Good. At least you could at
least be nice the last three days. I start now a problem, Michael,
(00:23):
and I am so sorry that youfaced part of it. There is
one joy of being single with nokids, and it's I have no real
responsibilities. Go. This is theSlightly Messy Show with Mike and Megan.
Open State Me Messy Shows, MessyMike and Megan. It's a slightly messy
(00:47):
Show with Mike and Megan. SlightlyMessy Show. You can listen to this
anywhere on the iHeartRadio app with theMore Mojo podcast. Yeah yeah, And
I have to ask, is thereason you're hostel today because your place almost
(01:10):
caught on fire? Or is thatare you just just having a day?
Okay, both, it's really both. It's a lot. My life is
falling apart right now. It's fine. Yeah, wait for therapy next week
if I can. A warning.Uh, it was, I've just been
going through some lately, man andthis weekend, I finally had my brother
(01:33):
come visit me, and he broughtmy dog, which, you know what,
if you're in my DMS asking ifI have my dog anymore, stop
asking. I don't need the reminderthat I don't have my dog anymore.
Okay, my dog doesn't mind meanyway. I'm kidding. That's a long
joke that I shouldn't have even broughtup to get into. But my brother
(01:53):
and my dog were over this weekend, huh. And I have never I've
been in my apartment now since whatlike October till we're in November, November,
December, December, Janier, Journey, Favruary, March, March,
April, April May, almost eightmonths, so seven months, almost eight
months. And I had never heardmy fire alarm before. And on Sunday
(02:14):
morning, I wake up The Lord'sDay, the Lord's blessed, the day
the Lord has made. Let usrejoice and be glad. Catholic School reference.
Because I woke up to the soundof the fire alarm going off,
and I thought, I really can'tbe bothered right now. And I thought,
(02:38):
if I was home alone, Iwould not leave this building. I
would risk it. But because asmall dog is on the line. And
if my apartment building really is onfire and we get trapped because I was
too lazy to go outside and thisdog dies, I'm going to hell.
Like add it to the laundry listof reasons why I'm going to And so
(03:00):
I get up and I really wasn'tin that big of a rush. I
decided we're gonna change our clothes,We're gonna take off last night's makeup.
I gotta PM rush my teeth.I don't know how long I'm gonna be
outside of this building. So there'sreally a fire, you're in big danger
here, for sure. Absolutely,But if there really is a fire and
(03:20):
I'm left outside in my pajamas withyesterday's makeup on and not brush teeth,
that's true, I'm gonna feel likeI'm in a worse position at that point.
Take me out, fam, Iwasn't meant to live. So I'm
getting out of my apartment building.And then I forgot. Like the dog's
freaking out because the alarm is loud, and like she doesn't know what's going
on. I'm trying to catch herin the house and she's she's fast as
(03:44):
fuck, boy, So like me, chasing my dog around my apartment while
she's funny running full blast, whichif you don't know, I have an
Italian greyhound. She's a miniature greyhoundand runs about twenty five miles an hour,
so when she doesn't want to getcaught, she won't get caught.
And I'm like, god, dude, I don't want to do this right,
I have zero interest in going outside. Already, she's hitting your hardest.
(04:05):
Finally she sits down like gotcha,bitch, and her artists. We
go outside and there's just a floodof firefighters. There's like thirty firefighters,
a couple of trucks, an ambulance, and I'm like, oh shit,
this seems like it might be areal fire. Probably should have had a
little more hostle. Thankfully, there'sa park right outside of my apartment building,
(04:29):
and there's like a lot of seating, and I just see a poor
assembly of the only people who leftthe building are people with pets, because
all of us have dogs and catsand everything, and nobody doesn't have a
pet. Everybody who didn't have apet was like, I'm a wait,
and all the people with pets arelike, fuck, okay, we gotta
leave now. So we see thisflood of firefighters coming into the building and
(04:53):
we're like, oh that that doesn'tfeel good. Like there's a lot of
them. That feels like this mightbe a real emergency. Yeah, you
know, truck, it's a couple. Uh. And then they're going in
and out the building over and overand over again. And my building has
businesses on the first floor, andthese businesses are not open yet, so
like they're trying to break into thebusinesses to figure out where this fire is.
(05:16):
One of them is a restaurant,and so it was like, oh,
maybe there's a kitchen fire whatever.So I'm like, oh no,
this looks good. None of thisfeels good. Everybody's in a rush.
Nobody can figure out where it is. Oh no. And then I do
what I always do, and Isend a video to the group. Chat
(05:38):
In it, my brother has thebest line. He's like, he s's
a beautiful day outside, but yeah, beautiful day for my all my possessions
to be gone. So excited towatch everything I own burn to the ground.
I did intentionally leave my work backpackback so that I couldn't work for
a couple of days. Oh man, I can't. I would love to
I had to take priorities and tosee and so we're sitting I send a
(06:03):
video to the group chat that goesabsolutely ignored by every single member of our
show. Thank you so much forthat. Genuinely thought I was about to
lose every one of the possessions thatI owned. Somebody sent an Instagram video
and everybody started reacting to that instead. So appreciate that Mojo in the morning
group chat. Appreciate all of youfor caring about my well being when there
(06:27):
was a funny meme to react to. If I'm being honest, I don't
think I saw it. I meanI looked in the chat, but there's
so much that happens so fast,and then once everybody gets on a tangent
about something else, dude, Idon't even scroll up. I was genuinely
so salty to be it says,not for posting on social but isn't this
(06:47):
crazy? And I film my building, all the firefighters fired, the fire
trucks, the alarms going off.My brother goes, well, it's a
beautiful day outside. I thought thatwas fucking hysterical and also genuinely scary at
the same time. And I thinkit was keV posted an Instagram meme about
three minutes later, and everybody reactedto that, no worries, fam No,
(07:10):
No, I'm sitting outside half inmy pajamas because let's be honest,
I changed the shirt, nothing else. I slept in the pants I was
wearing, and I was like,none of you care. So anyways,
so we're sitting outside for like agood thirty forty minutes. Firefighters are going
in and out, but nobody's pullingout a hose and we're getting really confused
because they're rushing around everywhere and they'relike trying to break into the businesses,
(07:32):
but like there's no no water,and I feel like for a fire,
really need some water absolutely, maybeextinguisher, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
And then I started saying guys comeout carrying their coats and I was like,
I feel like there wasn't a fire. Why somebody trucks not an emergency.
So because our fire alarm genuinely wentoff in a way that was super
(07:56):
faulty, and because it went offon the first floor, which is where
the businesses are, but also likethe lobby to our apartments, they couldn't
figure out where the fire was becausethe businesses were closed, but there wasn't
a fire. It was just afaulty fire alarm. That's the good news.
The bad news is all of thefirefighters left. There's like forty people
sitting outside and we're all watching allthis go down. But there are forty
(08:20):
people waiting to hear from the firefighterswhat's going on or if we can go
back inside. Not a single oneof them decided to give us an update
on what happened. They all justat the same time walked to the trucks
and pulled off. They didn't sayno, fire guys are good. They
didn't say, oh, it wasa faulty fire alarm. And then all
(08:41):
of us just kind of looked ateach other and was like, we're good,
so can we go in? What'sup? What happened? What's going
on? Are we oh? Areyou going to be back? Are we
good? That's so wild. Wewanted to just leave and not say anything
(09:01):
to the group of people waiting tohear what to do. Yes, yes,
it's absolutely weird. And what atthat point too, what are the
buildings around there? Do are theygetting out of there? Are they leaving
because this is in their businesses andstuff are on there, so yes,
but our building has like a gapbetween other businesses. So there's like businesses
in my building. But then solike the first two floors are businesses and
(09:26):
then there's apartments above them. Andso because it was the weekends, all
of the businesses were closed out early. And then uh yeah, they just
the rest of the buildings are likethere's alleys and stuff between them, so
nobody else really seemed to care.I remember I was staying at my mom's
(09:50):
when she lived in Chicago, andthe building next to her apartment building caught
on fire and they didn't tell therewas no alarm in the actual building we're
in, but you looked out thatlike you hear we heard the fire trucks,
and you're like, oh, Iwonder what's going on. But you
always heard fight. It's Chicago.You always hear fire trucks. You always
hear noises. So we just happened. It was like Christmas time. We
just happened to look out the windowand we look across and one of the
(10:13):
they had like wood porches on theback of them, what are the wood
porches? Was on fire. We'relike, hey, do we need to
leave? Like what is the protocolhere. Why is the Why is nobody
communicating this? It's always crazy tobe in an actual emergency. How many
people just don't care? Uh yeah, yeah whatever. It's the same with
(10:33):
tornadoes, Like I have lived throughenough tornadoes that have demolished where I live.
Like I've had a tornado go throughmy neighborhood before and like rip off
people's roofs and bring down trees,and like they're not fun to me anymore.
They're scary. There was one tornadothat went through my area so about
it tour down a high school.So like, tornadoes to me are not
(10:54):
interesting. They're terrifying. And everytime I see somebody stand outside watching a
tornado, I'm like, that's howpeople die. That is how people die.
Why are you doing that? Youwill die? That's it happens.
I wanna they have buses and Ithink it's a Midwest thing where you can
(11:15):
literally hop in them and ride andchase tornadoes like the movie Twister, and
that is I can't convince anybody togo with me, not even my family.
That is what I want to do, and I want to take a
week off of work and I justwant to chase tornadoes. That's it.
That's all I want to do withmy life. Don't hear what else happens.
That's how people die, not ifyou are in a if you're chasing
them, they're going a certain way. It's not like they turn around and
(11:37):
come back at you. If you'refollowing one, it's not like I want
to drive into the tornado. Ineed you to do me a favor because
this popped up on my I'm veryexcited for Twisters, by the way,
the sequel to Twister. I loveTwister the movie in a way that is
unhealthy, and my brother and mydad make fun of me religiously for it.
But when I was little, itwas Dorothy. It was the Machine,
and I love Wizard of Us.I was obsesshon with Twister because they
(12:00):
had the Dorothy. Yeah, andI used to watch that movie all the
time. And when I had noidea that a sequel was coming out,
and my brother and I go tothe movies intentionally early to rate movie trailers,
and we do like the Troy thumbsup, thumbs down, thumbs middle,
like do we want to go seeit in theaters? A hard pass
or maybe depends up. A bettertrailer comes out or good reviews. And
(12:22):
when Twisters Too came out and Ihad no idea sequel was coming, my
brother just went, oh, fucknow, and I was like what I
said, why why? Because I'mbecause Twister is not a good movie.
Stop you stop it right now,you stop it. I don't want to
(12:43):
hear another word out of your mouth. I don't care what i am dB
or Rotten Tomatoes says. I don'tcare. I don't care. I don't
even want to watch it again becauseI what I remember in my head was,
yes, was the greatest Tornado movie. If there are any other Tornado
movies, I don't know of alltime, of all time. She just
came, Helen Hunt just came toI think it was comic con Imagine theaters
(13:05):
and did a screening where I thinkthey showed the new movie, maybe the
old one, and they watched themovie with Helen Hunt. Do you know
how damn awesome that is? Tome? That is the great outside of
sitting inside of Dorothy herself right itself. That is the that that is the
greatest, That is the greatest thingin the entire world. It is a
(13:28):
great movie. I can't watch iteither, because I do think I have
that nostalgic like I remembered it asperfection. I can't rewatch it, but
it's it's gonna be a terrible movie. No. When when the trailer came
out and it's like it's trees,it gave me double rainbow vibes, and
I was like, that's true,it's gonna be so bad. But I
(13:48):
need you because it's actually genuinely poppedup on my for you page the other
day tiktack. Have you ever watchedlike the Japlin Missouri documentary or anything?
I have not know. I getso into it, and then I start
getting all these weird tornado videos onmy for you page, and there are
so many storm chasers that get hitby tornadoes. It's not even funny.
(14:09):
And I lead you to watch thevideo. How it's not like you drop
How Okay, I'll watch it.I'll watch it, but I don't understand
how if you're chasing a tornado,it's tornadoes don't stop and turn around right
they go. They have one theyhave a direction they're going, and usually
it's it's forward or at an anglelike it's it doesn't just stop and go
whooo and do a UI and comeback. They can move, They can
(14:31):
move. I don't know if Twisterhas taught me anything. As long as
you don't drive into the center ofthem, you should be just fine.
Rotten speaking of that, Rotten Tomatoesdid give it. I don't know what's
a good person. I imagine eightyninety is like a solid percentage with I
Personally, I think like seventy andabove is good because I think Rotten Tomatoes
is too harsh. Sixty three audiencescore. Audience score E sees me.
(14:58):
A few critics think it's better thanthe audience. God, I want to
watch it now. Why do Iremember it being so it's gonna ruin it?
I know it's gonna run. Idon't want to. It's more of
a cheesy love story than it isabout tornadoes. Tornado love story and their
love for tornadoes, and how they'rea cyclone circling each other. So many
(15:24):
metaphors, so many tornado metaphors,even in the cover of the movie.
It's so ridiculous because they're holding handsas though they are lovers, right,
Yeah, and a tornado is flyingat them like it's chasing them, essentially
them apart. Yes, because theyboth wanted to be first, Do you
(15:46):
have a movie that you absolutely lovethat is bad, because like Contact is
one of mine. Oh Contact,I don't know that I've seen that one.
I think we talked about that onebefore, didn't We didn't we talk
about that one? Hold Us DeadDead nineteen ninety seven movie came out the
same time as Yeah, and Inevers love this. What's what's context rating?
(16:07):
I bet it's like forty eight.It's almost the exact same as Twister.
It's a bad movie. I loveit. I don't know what it
would get today. And I don'tknow if it was good or if it's
just it's just legendary because people rememberit. But I always thowt ace Ventura
was a good movie, like agreat movie, you know it's I see
(16:30):
And I don't know if it wouldhit. I don't know if it would
do well today. I heard it'slike hook and if you didn't see it
as a kid, it's so funny. Look is a good one too.
But it's actually a bad movie.So is it really Yeah, Like if
you're ever if you ever watch itas an adult, first, the movie's
really really bad. Okay, it'snostalgic as a kid, that's why you
still think it's good. Uh RottenTomatoes ace Ventura ooh thirty eight, ooh
(16:56):
ooh, low end, low endnow forty seven worse. Yeah, it's
worse that. Let me look uphook now. So it's you think it's
only good because of the memory youhad when you watched the movie. You
don't think it's good in general.Correct, it's Robin Williams. Yeah,
but it's it's not him. Isit bad? Oh? It's bad?
(17:18):
Is it like twenty two? Twentynine percent? Yeah, it's a really
bad movie. Go back and watchit as an adult, and then picture
anybody else other than Robin Williams asPeter Pan, and you'll realize how bad
the script is. And he's justso lovable and so phenomenal as a kid
that like, you like him asPeter Pan. But the movie is bad?
Oh no, oh no? Isit based? Holy? Why?
(17:45):
So? What about like, speakingof Robin Williams, what about Jamunji?
I love Jamuji. I think thatone has like a sixty something or seventy
something. I used to rotten tomatoeseverything. I used to live on rotten
tomatoes fifty one? Yeah, okay, what about missus Telflair. Oh,
that's gotta be high, it's gonnabe super. I'm gonna put that in
the eighties seventy. So they aretough. They are tough on them.
(18:07):
But still I agree with most ofwhat they're saying. The longer a movie
is out, the lower it gets. Oh I didn't know that. Yes,
So, like really old movies havetons and tons and tons of reviews
and they age poorly and so theirscore will drop over time. I'm not
kidding you. I spent so muchtime on Rotten Tomatoes in my life it's
not even funny. This is great. I love rotten Tomatoes. But also
(18:30):
I want to talk about this morethan anything else we're going to talk about
today, movies that we thought wereamazing but are actually super shitty, actually
like like just terrible. So we'vewe've established Asian Tour was no good?
What was yours? Contact? Nogood? No good? I love it?
Yeah Yesterday, Yeah no good.Somebody said Sharknado. Obviously that's a
(18:53):
great movie, and I don't trustyour opinion. Somebody said The Proposal Comedy
are weird because they don't get alot of love in like the Oscars and
stuff. But they get a lotof love from critics. So I'm gonna
say it has like a seventy eight, No, no, forty five?
What the proposal? Yeah? Yeah, going off Ryan Reynolds too. What
(19:17):
about just Friends? No, that'sgot to be like a thirty I would
assume so as well. Oh yousaid a thirty yeah, Oh no,
I would have gone higher. Iwould have gone sixty sixties. I was
we were you were closer. Youwere much closer forty two. I think
Ghostwriters in the single digits of theteens, and so is the Green Lantern.
Green Lantern was terrible. That wasa bad movie. Oh bad.
(19:38):
Let's see what it got. There'sno way proposal was that low? Twenty
five percent for Green Lantern? Oh? I think it went back up.
I think it used to be inthe teens. I wonder if his like
his Deadpool, helped people like gowatch it and then they changed their PA.
Wasn't for this movie, we wouldn'thave done. Yeah, thank you.
I'm trying to think of a moviefrom my childhood that I'd love that
(20:02):
I would watch on repeat. StuartLittle has got to have a low score.
Stuart Letto, what would you guessbefore you forty two. Mmm,
I'm gonna say forties is a goodguess. I'm just gonna say fifties.
But I think you're right. No, you gotta be kidding me. Is
(20:22):
everything that I think bad have agood score? Yes? Six? No
way for Stuart Little No Wizard ofsomebody said Wizard of Oz. I feel
like that's not a high score.Yeah, and I don't feel like it's
fair. It was a nineteen thirtynine film. It's gonna be in like
holy nineties. Ye. Yeah,I'm asking it certified fresh at like ninety
seven. Yeah, who ninety eightsays here? But yeah, basically that
(20:48):
what else? One percentage off certifiedfresh? Come on, Matilda, Matilda
has to be good. Yeah,I'm gonna give it a ninety two dead
on Hell yeah, it on.I'm either super accurate or way off.
Movies from the nineties, I wouldsay late nineties, late nineties, early
(21:11):
two thousands, late nineties. Doyou remember the Three Ninjas? I wonder
what that has had a low score. I bet it has a low score.
I bet it has a low score. Fuck. I don't want to
look here Rocky. I want itto be Rocky so bad Rocky looks and
Leek Rocky looks and Lee. God. I love that movie as a kid.
(21:34):
It was a great movie. Threeninjas. It's gotta be bad.
It's gotta be like thirty yeah,thirty five. Damn it. I'm so
good at this. Okay, Ithink this one might be better than what
I think it is. But Ialso watched it recently when the new or
(21:55):
the second version of this came out. Hocus Pocus, I thought it was
a great movie, but I don'tremember. I think it's just because I
had a crush on seventy seven.You say, what seventy seven Pocus seventy
seven? I wouldn't. I wouldstill say sixties based on their their rating
forty shut up, no forty percent. No Hocus Pocus the original. You
(22:18):
lie, You absolutely lie. Iswear Halloween Town's got to have like a
seventeen percent. Then, God,I love Halloween Town. Talk about a
bad movie that we loved. Uh, what does it have? Eighty three
percent? What a bullshit? Absolutebullshit. There is no way Halloween Town
(22:42):
has double the ratings that hocus Pocusdoes. Absolutely not. Something feels off
there, something as a hair inthe buty. Yeah, well that's stupid.
What other ones I could I coulddo this all day. Oh,
somebody online Heather said, space Jamis the movie that I liked as a
(23:03):
kid and I hate now. Ithink the new one sucks. I don't
think the old one is that good, though I loved it. Well,
yeah, I mean the same.My microphone did that thing again? What
did it do? Am I superloud? Or is that just my headphones?
Might just be my headphones. You'rea little bit louder? Yep?
Why, I don't know's nothing worksin this building. You know what we
(23:27):
all complain about the temperature and howeverything breaks. That's that's what we mean.
In the middle of just talking,my microphone turned itself up and I
think it just turned me down fortythree percent. But the audience score was
sixty three for space Jam. Yeah, not could my favorite. I never
(23:49):
saw. Somebody said space Balls.I don't think I've ever seen that.
No, because we talked about this, because it's a Mel Gibson movie,
and every member of the show isnot cultured in any way whatsoever. The
only the only Mel Gibson movie I'veever seen is the Robin Hood movie We
Are Men Women, And he's sofunny and nobody on our show has watched
(24:11):
any of his movies except for meand I guess you and one one I
got, but that I can unlessI've watched one and didn't know that I
watched one. Have you seen theproducers? Have you seen Flaming Saddles or
Blazing Tittles, Blazing Settles? Iknow what it is, history of the
world. Oh my god, truly, young Frankenstein. I'm so happy to
(24:41):
be you. Know. What Ihave seen, though, is who framed
Roger Rabbit? Which somebody suggested,I have seen Little Rascals, those gems.
Little Rascals has got to be good. That's got to be like a
solid sixty mm. I put LittleRotten to ninety four. It's where I
(25:03):
learned to wiggle my ear. Ohsit, well, this is bad.
This is real bad. Audience scoresseventy percent. What Little Rascals? That's
what? Yeah, But the rottenor Tomato meter is twenty one percent.
Yeah, Oh my god, BlazingSaddles has an eighty nine percent. It's
(25:27):
a good movie. It's a goodmovie. Okay, it's a great movie.
What's what was the other one?Oh, framed Roger Rabbit? Oh?
I bet that's fifty five ninety sixpercent. No way, I'm not
(25:48):
joking. I love that movie.I'm not mad at that. I love
it too. I didn't expect that, though. I did not expect that
I was about to get super nerdlyand be like, well, if you
know anything about film history, theuse a lot of experimental techniques that were
then used in future cinema and avery interesting puppetry. I love that because
(26:11):
I am a nerd with too muchtime on her hands, and I watch
film history stuff all of the time. Somebody slightly missy shure, Oops,
all right, go ahead, goahead, continue. Somebody's had the Disney
movie smart House, and I reallydo need to know your guests before we
move on, the best Disney Channelmovie ever made. Still well, it
(26:36):
doesn't have a critics score. Surprise, surprise, surprise, surpriss press uh
in scores of fifty, which isthere's also someone on here mighty ducks.
Oh that's gonna be low eighties.See I would say that too, but
with the way that this is going, it's probably a lot lower, a
(26:57):
lot lower. Mm YEP audience scoresixty five percent, Tomato Meter twenty three
percent. That's this is wild.I know, I don't know if I
trust it too much. What wouldyou trust more in this? Would you
trust the audience score or the criticsscore? I think when it comes to
(27:19):
comedy is the audience score. Yeah, And actually when it comes to like
political stuff, the audience more.You think? So? Uh yeah,
because after we're seeing Civil War,which came out this year, and reading
critics reviews, they all had massivesticks up their butts, and I think
that they took it. They weretrying to be like, know what,
(27:40):
all pretentious in new reviews and itwas really funny because if you were watching
the movie and just paid attention,the point is so much simpler than they
were trying to all make they endedto do it. I think the breakdown
is this, and I'm like,you obviously missed the very simple, laid
out point that was trying to bemade here. But nice to know that
you are the ones being paid forthis, right. It's a slightly missy
(28:03):
show up, absolutely pathetic. Lovethe show. You guys are doing a
great job with Mike and Megan.I think that was great. If you
want to end it there, orwe can go on and do another topic,
I know you got things to do. We gotta talk about yourself unless
you've got to get out of here. I don't. I asked you the
(28:25):
question, Julior. So I wentand met with a buddy of mine who
is also a client here, buthe works at Yeah, he runs a
place called Discount Door, which isa garage door cup but it is how
I got by. Yeah, Igot one of those lyft masters with like
the the camera in it and everything. Okay, can I see you a
(28:48):
question? Yes, what Grand Rapidsbusiness has the best local jingle? Service
professor is a solid one? Okay, service professor they fix it in a
snap. Is O'Reilly's is not justGrand Rappids and it's O'Reilly O'Reilly's. Everything
(29:11):
is s in the end from theMidwest. Kia Kia used to have a
good one, and I think theybrought it over to the East side.
But it was that that the keythat you know, those are national and
they just put into local dealership stateright. No, obviously didn't know that.
Thanks thanks for that behind the becauseit was you you should be driving
(29:33):
a Kia Taylor key that's in Toledo. Oh, then I I did not
know that. I only brought thisup because you said like a garage door
players And there's a business in Toledocalled Toledo Door Window and they're commercial used
to have a cartoon like talking garagedoor and it would go Toledo Door and
(29:56):
Window Home of the Tucking Door.Boo boob. Then it was like a
horn. Is that what that was? No, it wasn't even like a
horn. It was just like adead But I just didn't commit. So
sorry, what a long way ofgoing around. But he's a groade short.
It's like what iconic jingle? Sothey don't have a jingle yet,
(30:19):
but there's still time. And Iwas chatting with him, I don't know,
a couple of days ago, andwe're talking about his his kids and
just shooting the shit or whatever,and he tells me that he tells me
a story about his his sons orwhatever, and he's we're talking about going
back and forth on you know,our kids, and he tells me his
story about this winter where his sonis like taking his truck out and I
(30:44):
think he's he's starting to drive andhe's using it for stuff and he at
some point took it out without askingand then yeah, and then a deer
hit it, but he told hisdad that he hit it with a snowblower,
like he was snowplow the driveway andhit the truck with it. Oh
okay, So wait, did hehit the deer or did the deer hit
(31:06):
him? I mean, I Idon't know. I don't I didn't ask
the deer. I think I genuinelydon't know. He's probably driving down the
road and it hit the truck atsome point, hit the side or hit
the front or something. Can Itell you when you told me about this?
Uh huh, I had a differentmental picture. What did you do?
You think the deer just walked upto it and punched him. No,
(31:26):
I thought he hit a deer witha snowblower Like that was his excuse,
Like that's why there was like no, no, no, no no.
So he but he's in like fearmode because his dad has threatened him
with something that's not real, andmaybe that's more the topic than anything.
He's told him that there's a placein Nevada. It's like a boot camp,
(31:49):
and if he doesn't get his shittogether because he keeps screwing up,
they're going to force him to goout to Nevada and work at this boot
camp, and it's like kids whohave to I don't know even know what
they do, but it's basically he'sthreatened with something that's not a real thing.
So instead of just telling his dad, I took your car when I
wasn't supposed to and I hit adeer with it, he said, I
(32:12):
was snowblowing the driveway. Makes himlook like a snowblow, you know,
linked like a good kid on thedriveway or whatever. Accidentally hit your car.
He said, I walked outside.The driveway wasn't even plowed at all.
Then there was no tracks of theof the of the snowplow at all,
but there's tracks of the truck leaving, there's tracks of the truck coming
(32:35):
back. And then he goes tolook at the truck and there's hair and
fur and blood caked into the truck, and he's like he said he called
him at school at the time andwas like, hey, you have two
minutes to explain to me why there'san animal stuck in my truck. And
he ended up telling him or whatever. He was fucking pissed. And so
(32:58):
the the did you ever when youwere a kid? Two things? I
guess it could come out of this. Did you ever make up a ridiculous
story to get out of something withyour parents all the time, all the
time? What was your favorite one? I was raised in a super strict
household. Of course I lied allof the time. You think Scott make
was super He doesn't seem like asuper Oh oh yeah, he's super strong,
(33:22):
like so strict that I think mycurfew, even as a twenty year
old, was like nine pm.Really, I wasn't allowed to go to
R rated movies until I was anadult. I wasn't like, oh very
I was not allowed to stay thenight on campus when I was a college
student. I had to come homeevery single night. I could not stay
with friends. I could not stayanywhere. I had to come home.
(33:43):
I was an adult and had tocome home. Granted had a full time
job, which I'm still doing.And he was like, you can't be
drusted. So yeah, I wouldlie all of the time unless my dad
is listening, and then I neverlied knowing once ever. Did you get
busted for any of them? Yes, At one point I literally like totaled
(34:06):
the car and I told my dad, oh my god, he I hydrol
planes and he was he got tothe accident and there was barely any water
on the ground, and he waslike, you didn't fuck an hydroplane.
I was like, I swear toGod there was a puddle there ten minutes
ago and I hit it. Hewas like, you are an idiot and
a terrible driver. And I went, U, huh yeah, I uh
(34:28):
oh. I got caught in aline one time because my dad asked where
I was and I said I washanging out where my brother worked, and
uh. He was like with who, and I said my brother, And
my brother was at home with mydad. So I got caught in that
one real quick. I remember theone that always comes out when uh,
when I think about the dumb excusesthat I made is I used to sneak
(34:49):
out of the house a lot,a lot. I had a bedroom that
was perfect for it. It wasa way. I was at the opposite
side of my parents' house. Thewindow was quiet, it was easy.
I lived on a My parents hadlike a we had like eleven acres or
whatever, so like I could literallyjust walk in Belby, eleven acres in
Belby, and and so I would. There weren't other there weren't neighbors,
(35:14):
right there there were neighbors, butnot right right there that could be like,
hey, somebody is sneaking out ofyour house. And so what I
would do is I would sneak outin the summertime especially, and then just
come back before they went to work, and so they had no idea I
was even gone, and so Iwould One time I did it, and
it was the middle of winter,and I used to have do you remember
those big puffy coats, Like Ithink Structure had them at the time,
(35:37):
but like DMX used to wear thembig poofy red coats. Maybe it wasn't
Structure, but they were huge inlike two thousands early two thousands. Oh,
and DMX wore a lot of thingsthat looked like it. That's I
think that's why I bought it.If I'm being honest, can you give
(35:58):
me your best DMX watch orly woh oh perfect? DMX? Are you
back from the grave? Are youhere? Are you here with me?
And so I one time came homein the middle of winter and that big
poofy red vest and waited at theend of the driveway which was like a
(36:21):
long driveway, and waited for mypantasy go to work again, like I
always do. And they never left, and I said, well, that's
weird. Why are they Why arethey still there? I waited and I
waited and I waited, and theysaid they saw me standing at the end
of the road. They knew mystupid coat because I was the only dumb
one that bought a bright red coatin the middle of winter. Uh.
(36:44):
And I came home and they werejust sitting there waiting for me. They
knew exactly what happened. I wasbut they let me sit out there and
freeze. Not one person came outand said, like, hey, you
could go. It was like anhour. My dad would have done that,
just the two fingers up in theair. Come here, I see
you were I want to sit aroundand away. I'm late for work and
we're going to address this. SoI didn't even have a h This was
(37:07):
before cell phones too, like,so like there was no calling me,
there was no telling me, therewas no nothing. Why didn't you walk
into the house and you're like,you guys, I think I slept walk
like I would have commanded at thatpoint, but like I walked so far
away and then I realized where itwas like five minute I was six miles
away if I had to walk back, where am I just feeling around my
(37:32):
frostbite? You got we have warmwater to warm my cold hold hand.
I was so scared. I wasnever going to make it back home to
see you again. I should havedammit, damnit. I got in big
trouble. That's the biggest and that'sthe biggest thing. I got in trouble
for what. I get in troublefor that. Yeah? Yeah, did
(37:53):
your parents ever threaten you with likethere was a camp or a uh or
like a big punishment that you wouldhave that just never ended up happening.
Ever. No, But I rememberthe first time I came home high,
Yeah, And I remember my dadknew what was up immediately. I was
trying, Oh god, I wastrying to pretend like I wasn't and I
(38:15):
really really was. And he wouldn'tleave me alone. And I don't even
think he was mad, because tobe fair, I was really responsible about
it, Like I went out withfriends, I didn't drive, I didn't
do anything. I don't think mydad doesn't care about we. I don't
think it ever bothered him when Iwas young, But I think it was
more I was scared, not scaredof my dad, like, oh,
he's a scary guy, but hewas really strict, so like I was
(38:37):
scared to disappoint him. I wasscared for him to be like you're better
than this, you know what Imean, Like he like, like you're
a kid I'm proud of, andI'm not really proud of you right now
would have been like like knife inthe heart, you know what I mean?
Yes, yeah, yeah, noexactly. That was so animated.
(39:00):
I remember coming home and I wasscared to see him, so I immediately
ran up to my room, whichis not something I would have ever done.
Like I would have went to theliving room and told him about my
evening and told him what I did. So I think me going straight up
to my room was like red flagnumber one. And then looking back at
it now with adult eyes, hethought it was hysterical, and so he
(39:21):
was like, I'm gonna make youuncomfortable as possible your home. You're safe,
you didn't drive, I'm not thatmad. Well, I'm gonna I'm
gonna talk to you. Oh Idon't feel good. Oh man, get
in the car, let's go.Let's go right in and get you some
medicine. I was like, no, I think I'm just gonna go to
sleep, man, Megan, it'sseven pm and the sun's out. I
don't think so, I'm He waslike, ied, dinner, come on
(39:43):
down, kid, and like mademe sit at the table and talk to
him. And I was like,I don't know how to be normal.
My my dad did the same.Or he threatened it. He never followed
through, but it was. Hecaught me smoking once and I was probably
like fourteen fifty or something, andwhat I would do is I would just
take a cigarette out of their packs, and so he brought home a carton
(40:06):
cigarettes. He set it down.He goes, all right, you're gonna
smoke every single one of these,yeah, he said. Next he said,
well, what he said was nexttime, next time I catch you
smoking, you're gonna smoke every singleone of these. He said, all
right. I made a smart assjoke at that time, because that's how
him and I communicated. I waslike, all right, well, i'll
hold it now for you till thathappened. He's like, no, no,
(40:27):
he started dying. But it neverhappened. And thank you, thankfully,
because I would have throw up instantly. Oh for sure. Sure,
it was like when, Oh,who is the kid my brother played hockey
with He got caught using dip onceand his dad made him put the whole
thing in his mouth, and Iremember hearing that kid vomit from a mile
(40:49):
away. Oh, that would makeyou puke instantly. Yeah, but the
whole thing. Oh why did Whydid bloomers do that? Like I caught
you doing something to do the wholething right now, do it all at
once? I know, I know. And even before that though, like
they probably it probably wasn't even abig deal. They were probably allowed to
drink, you know what I mean, they were allowed to drink. And
(41:09):
by the way, they were buyingtheir parents cigarettes and taking half of the
carton with Like all of the boomersstarted smoking when they were like twelve years
old. Yeah, yeah, andyou could do it, and they were
all doing it, like the dinnertable. I'm not wild to think about.
Like a mall, people used towalk through the mall and smoke.
People used to like, yeah,people used to drive down the road.
(41:31):
And I've seen old like PSA's whereit's like they're trying to make it so
I can't drink and drive or driveand drink a beer down the road like
it was like a news story oflike the law that they're making that you
can't drink and drive. And thefirst thought was or the interview went there.
First they tried to make us wearseat belts. Then they try to
make us you know that I can'thave a beer on the way home.
(41:52):
What is this? Now? They'remaking my kid get in a car seat.
They shouldn't just flailed back there.That three week baby should just be
rolling around. He'll be fine.You know what they used to have to
Did you ever ride in one ofthese uh the the it's not I don't
even know what to call. It'slike a seat, but it's like a
(42:12):
half seat in the back of apickup truck. Yes, it's turned sideways,
so you're sitting this way, facingeach like each other in the in
the back behind like a regular seat. Is that even a fig anymore?
Wait? I think my Ranger headMy Ranger was really old though. But
my dad was one of six IrishCatholics, and then they also had foster
(42:34):
kids all of the time, sowhen they got in the car, my
dad didn't have a seat or aseat belt. He was literally loose in
the trunk. Good luck. Yeah, that's so wild to think about it.
And it's not that long ago.Like it's not like it was hundreds
it's like BC time. No,it's like a hundred years ago if that.
(42:57):
If that, they used to havethese they have cars with seats that
face the other way, so youwere looking backwards, or you just sit
in the back of a station wagon. Whose idea was that, by the
way, that was somebody who doesn'tget motion sickness. I yeah, no,
part of that sounds like it wouldbe. I would yeah. I
don't know how you sit in it. First off. Then if you get
in an accident, you know,terrifying, that would be. It's scary
(43:19):
if you're just sitting facing forward andyou get a carna up on you.
But at least for like a fractionof a second, you can you can
see something coming. Imagine seeing nothingat all. You're just looking playing with
some probably sharp objects. At thatpoint, I don't know, a car
comes along and hits you. Thisis also the generation that had lawn darts,
so like, oh yet lawn darts. Oh those were dangerous. Kids
(43:42):
died, Lots of kids died.Remember how those got banned was because lots
of kids died. It wasn't like, you know, the first time a
kid dies, were like your kidsan idiot. Enough kids have to die
where they're like, maybe these aredangerous, but yeah, who thought,
like, hey, this is definitelya weapon. This could definitely be a
(44:06):
weapon. But we should put almostlike a flag at the end of it,
or like a dart. Let's puta dart thing at the end of
it, right, Yeah, let'sjust have people throw it up there and
see what happens. I'll give youone better. Not people children. Let's
make children throw Let's make sure kidswho have barely any spatial awareness throw a
(44:28):
dangerous object up in the air andthen hopefully not get hit. Kids want
to beat up each other, likejust playing around. They don't understand,
and you want to give them somethingsharp. We need to make nerf guns
because kids couldn't stop hitting each otherwith stuff that we had to at least
make it soft. Those were sobad. Those were so terrible. Give
(44:49):
them swords, man, Yeah,tell to throw them in the air and
run around in circles. I wonderhow many people really it had to be
a lot. I mean, weprobably don't know because the news is much
different than it then. But Ibet a lot of kids die from London.
That's sad. I shouldn't be laughing, but a lot of kids by
die from the Only good part ofthis job is the random shit I get
to google all the time. Yeah, whooah. Three kids died, but
(45:15):
thousands were injured. Like I wasgiving a bow an arrow as a kid,
and it was like a it couldkill something, right, it could
kill And I would take it,Megan, and this is this is an
actual weapon. I would take itand I would point it straight up in
the air and we would play agame. We would play a game where
(45:36):
I'd just shoot it right and we'dall run and hope that nobody got hit
by the arrow. That was lawndarts. That's yes, that's what I'm
telling you. This wasn't the game. I can't only fucking imagine if we
had those today. They saw lawndarts nineteen eighties version. I have a
bow and arrow. Do you doyou shoot things with it? No?
(46:00):
I got it from Christmas years agoand it's still in the box. Yeah.
I don't know how to set upa bow and arrow. And if
I did, what would I dowith it? Just walk around like Catness
Everdeen. Oh that would be kindof cool, ye be in your favorite
you cheot rats you can shoot ratswith it? Or bow and arrows legal
(46:21):
like to walk around with? Ohlike a like a concealed and carry type
of situation. Yeah, because youknow what, sometimes I'm just here to
out crazy the crazy. And whatif I walked around late at night and
like I cute outfit but also abowl and arrow like, try me,
bitch. So I bet the bowis legal, right, yeah? And
(46:42):
all you need is the effective,like you need to just show the effect
of like this is, this iswhat it happens. It's almost crazier to
walk around with just a bow andno arrow. Well, they don't know.
How are they gonna tell if youhave arrows? I think the arrows
might be the thing that that thatthey might question, but I don't know
the law, and that that's meguessing. But I bet if you walked
around with the bow, nobody's gonnafuck with you because they're going to think
at some point, she's got anarrow somewhere. I couldn't get peppery legally
(47:05):
delivered to my house. You couldn'twhy because of where I live. It's
not allowed, But I think it'sreally funny that I could potentially walk around
with a bow and arrow instead.Absolutely, a bow can't do anything right
the arrow somebody with it? Youcould, yeah, but that's it'd be
the same thing. I don't Idon't have to know is it legal?
(47:27):
Is it legal? But then Iwould need like a JBL speaker on one
of those carabineers, and I wouldput that on the bow and I would
just be playing the from Hunger Hands, and if anybody looks at me,
just play that noise. An individual, this is Michigan, this is legislator
(47:52):
dot m I dot gov says,an individual may carry, transport, or
possess a We could do a slingshot bow or crossbow without a hunting license
if the slingshot bow or crossbow isunloaded and uncocked and closed in a case
or carried in a vehicle location thatis not readily accessible. So you could
carry a bow and arrow like abriefcase. You could literally walk around like
(48:14):
a briefcase. But it's in theshape of a bow. You could put
you don't even have to put abow in it. Honestly, you could
put whatever you want. It's likea huge purse. So it's in like
a plastic container like you would getan old can opener in where you have
to use scissors and cut out allfour sides. You'll never be able to
open it, and you're gonna probablyneed stitches when you slice your finger open
trying to open it. Yeah,what if I just carry that around in
(48:34):
scissors. I'm was like, don'tmess with your row. I'll build this
boone and arrow. I think Iwould love it just as much too.
If you grabbed a slingshot and you'rewalking around with like a old slingshot,
Yeah, old tivy sleep shot inthe rock, but it can't be actually,
it can't be loaded. If that'sif that slingshot is loaded, that
you will get in trouble. So, just like one of those giant marbles
that have a cool design in oneman walking around and then I shot the
(48:58):
other and crazy eyes that ug withme. I can hit you with the
sling shot. Maybe I'll probably miss. My accuracy isn't that great, but
it will be a little scary pool. You better stop poo okay. But
also you only have one marble,so every time you get yourself hold on,
I gotta go find it reload followedthe Slightly Messy Show One. I
(49:24):
g at slightly messy show. Ihope you get one. I hope you
do. What is it? Isit call of duty where it's like reloading?
Yes, I think so. Itsounds right
Popular Podcasts
1. Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
2. Start Here
A straightforward look at the day's top news in 20 minutes. Powered by ABC News. Hosted by Brad Mielke.
3. Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.