Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I have a problem, Michael, and I am so sorry
that you faced smart of it. There is one joy
of being single with no kids, and it's I have
no real responsibility.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
This is a very slightly messy show with Mike and Meghan.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
State means a message shows messy Mike and Megan.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
It's a slightly messy show with Mike and mag Also
a very youthful Megan mag thank you. Yes, you're you
got the riz as the kids say, right, are I.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Still saying that? Or do we sound super outdated?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Right?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I don't care. I don't care how you, fellow youth.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I do not aim to to appear younger some of us.
Some of us, on the other hand, are very very
focused on being youthful, madam.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Yeah, that would be I'm obsessed with it lately.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm I feel like I am in this weird stage
of my life.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Mic and I really need some help.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Because I literally have not been able to and I'm
a brag for just a quick second here, I have
not been able to shop at like a mall in
a really long time because I haven't fit into the clothes. Okay,
so I haven't really been following any sort of trends
for years because those trends do not apply to the
plus size industry, right, I am no longer in the
(01:32):
plus size industries demographic.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
That's right, thank you? Yeah, applause that yeah, bitch.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
And I have found myself now.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Frequently googling what's trendy twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
What what?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
You didn't even try to dance around it, Like if
somebody saw you google history, they'd be like, oh, what
does she look it up?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Oh? When I tell you, one of.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
The things I googled recently was cool clothes twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Not trying too hard. I don't know how to address myself.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
No, that was was It was the oldest thing you
could google, like Google with oof, you know how Google
like profiles you google thinks.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
You're like fifty, oh sixty years old.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
It's worse than that.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So I every time I go shopping, right, there's a
few things I needed, like new fall and winter clothes
and new shoes specifically. And I have been told by
all of the youths in my life, sure, I'm no
longer allowed to wear ankle socks because that screams millennial
and millennials gross.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Apparently, have you ever tried a non are you wearing
non ankle socks?
Speaker 4 (02:44):
And right now currently I am wearing non ankle sock.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Okay, so I wore the non eat it.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I hate it too, despise it it. It doesn't feel right,
it feels. It feels more out of date or outdated
than it does to feel to wear ankle socks.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
You know what it feels like?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
It like I'm the kid in my third grade science
book that wore the yellow and white stripe polos with
khakis and tennis shoes with crew socks. And he was
a nerd and we all made fun of him for
being such a loser.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
And now I'm dressing like him and I don't like it, so.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
He's really the cool guy. Really.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I hate it so much.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So right off the bat, the first thing that I
ordered was new socks, and they said ankle socks are out, bitch,
no longer allowed under any circumstances. Any And they were
like any, And I fucking hate these socks and they're
all I wear now, and I Michael. I started getting
compliments and I was on my shoe game, my sock game, everything.
(03:44):
I hate it because I was told the cool shoes
right now all White Air Force once. You know what
I'm wearing right now, All White Air Force once, because
it's the only shoe I knew how to shop for
because I was told those were cool. Okay, I went
out and I bought some Fila white chunky sneakers and
I sent a picture to my girl and after I
purchase them, and she said, you haven't worn them outside yet? Right?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
And I go, no, Why she goes fucking return them.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I literally have to send every article of clothing, shoe,
everything to my girlfriend for her to be like yes
or no before I'm allowed to wear it.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
This is too much. It feels like too much.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Oh it gets worse, Mike.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So I go to and this is no shot an
American Eagle, But I go to American Egle the other
day because I love them, and they just they have
comfortable clothes.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
And that's what I'm looking for. I'm a comfort girlly.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I'm not out here to be uncomfortable, Okay. I want
to listen, put together and comfortable.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
You could have told me this whole time that's what
you were doing, and I would have been like, Okay, yeah,
you're just trying to get comfortable.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I did a little Instagram try on where I let
people vote on what pants I should and should not get,
and everything I felt super comfortable in everybody was like
absolutely fucking not out of date and everything I hated
and people are like, that's.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
What you must wear.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I walk around and clothes that I fucking hate every
day and everybody's like, you've never looked better.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I hate it.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Third part of the story.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I go into a shoe store and I go, I
need help, please help me. I don't know what I'm
doing with my life, and I'm thinking these girls are
gonna think I'm funny.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
They just think I'm old and weird, because are they
like eighteen year old girls.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Working there while they're, you know, in between high school
and soccer practice that even yes they are.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
And so I desperately call out to them and I'm like,
please help, damn lady. She needs cool shoes. And they
were like, what are you looking for?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I said, I need a pair of ugs. I've heard
those micro platforms are what are cool? They're like yes,
and I go, okay, can I wear ankle socks with these?
The girls laughed at me and go, absolutely fucking not.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Are you sure? You want the platform ugs? Do you
know how to style them?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And I said, bab I said, bitch, don't you fucking
call me out right now.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I don't know how to style them.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You and I both know that, and you no, you
need my money and the tail right now for your
sales goal this hour, So shut the fuck up and
put them in the goddamn box.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Did I have that energy? No? What I really said was,
could you please help me? I really don't know what
I'm doing and I don't want to walk on cool.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And they started walking me through this whole process and
they were like, I think you need these clugs, you
need these ones, these are the colors that are cool.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
It was nothing that I was going in to buy there.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I had a plan, and they would not let me
buy anything that I wanted to buy. I bought three
pairs of shoes that I did not intend on buying
because these eighteen year old girls were like, these are
what's cool.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
And I think I'm losing touch with reality.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
And I have a whole Pinterest board set up to
twenty twenty four trends that look young but not too young,
and I don't know what I'm doing and I feel
very out of place in life because I think currently
I'm dressing much older than I am. But I'm so
terrified of coming off as desperately trying to look younger
(07:02):
than I am.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well, definitely, uh, googling it and then asking thirteen year
olds for their advice on it is uh is not
screaming that I would. I would continue doing that. It
seems like an appropriate if you dress fine, there's nothing wrong.
I think you're overthinking this one. I think you're definitely
overthinking this one. I've never looked at you and went ooh,
(07:25):
she is trying too hard to be young, or or
the other way around, and.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Went is she fucking wearing? Like like, uh, did she
hands stitch that herself? What is she quilting?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Now?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Does she? What is she eighty? I've never never in
my life have I have I said any of those things.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I put it down undress on the other day and
I sent a picture to my girlfriend and she said,
what are you a middle aged kindergarten teacher?
Speaker 4 (07:48):
And I I.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Was like, no, don't worry, I don't have time for this,
but I will be crawling back into bed to cross.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Think I thought I looked cute. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I don't. I I feel like fashion anyway. I don't.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Again, I'm not the guy necessarily to we talk about
fashion like I just dress how I dress.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
It is what it is. But doesn't it circle back
around anyways? Doesn't it?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Usually?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Like like I feel like things from the past are
coming back, Like I would have never said, actually no,
ankle socks were cool when I was a kid because
you'd get the Michael Jordan or the Nike ones and
you were like cool as that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
But or not ankle socks. I'm sorry, the long ones.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Those are the those were like cool when I was
a kid, but now they're like making a comeback. And
they were the Air Force ones. Those were cool when
we were kids. Now they're making it come back. So
anything you have is gonna circle back around. And really,
if you think about it, you're ahead of the fucking
curve right now because you you are setting the trend
that will eventually come back around.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
I am do you rane it still?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well you were until that very moment. What pops up
when you google that?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
By the way, So I okay a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It's sadder than what I actually said on the podcast.
I said, how do thirty year old's dress that's not
too young or too old.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I want to see what pops up when you google that.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I got a lot of matching sweatsuits with like air
force ones and ankle socks. But apparently the sweatpants that
are in right now still have the elastic at the ankle.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I can't do that sensory wise. That would drive me
up a wall.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I just know at some point my day I would
find a pair of scissors and cut off the bottom
of my pants.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I don't understand why that is the trend.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Do you know the first person that pops up as
the representative for how thirty year old's dress?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Who?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Selena Gomez?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Her and I are like a week apart. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, she's the first person that pops up shit.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
I should just follow her on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Just watch what she wears. It just wear the same
damn thing.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's a lot of magic sweatsuits, cool tennis shoe is
and then like a cool like trench coat over.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
It has been the fall.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Look the first three things on here? I I well,
not three, but maybe two. A pair of white sneakers?
Is that that list? What you got on right now?
First thing I bought first thing I bought. I don't
think you have any of these other stuff, but you,
(10:16):
I imagine you do a great pair of jeans, jeans
and sweaters.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Jeans, sweaters, and crew necks are back in.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Okay, A black blazer, Yes, I have.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
A blazer that you wear a sweatshirt with.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Light, lightweight, versatile outerwear.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I don't know what that means, just like like felt
coats in the whit, you know, like not a heavy
winter midwestern jacket, but like it's kind of fifty eight
outside and you want to look fashionable, but it's too
warm for a jackets.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
So funny that this is a well you google it,
there's a lot of things that pop up, a lot
of eggs that pop up.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yeah, I'm just stressed.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I'm so stressed about it and it's consuming really my
whole life at this point, and I was too scared
to admit it on the show.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
So I thought I would talk you about it because.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
I'm your elder.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Well that and I'm gonna be real honest.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I feel like the slightly messy audience is just kinder,
and I thought it would be like like they do
sometimes when I talk about it on the show.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
It's such a wide range of fashion on that show too,
because you got like keV who could wear pretty much
anything and he's gonna look cool. Bojo, same thing every day.
Shannon is like a fashion like unattainable when it comes
to fashion.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
She can wear clothes that I could. I would look
like a street walker.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Nobody could wear like a lot of the things that
she could.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Correct she's yeah, yeah, just a building her makeup.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
And then I feel like if I dress like Lydia
or like KP, everybody would be like, aren't you like
a lot older than that?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah? The defin that way, they would call you skibbity twit.
Now that's not right, is it? Ohio? They would call
you Ohio. I don't know. My daughter was teaching me
all these these Jen Alpha phrases.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Waait what okay?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Sorry not to take a full like one degree turn
right now? Why is everybody shitting on Ohio lately?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Ohio? And insult? Is that? H What the fuck is
going on?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Okay it's JENLF. Don't don't tell me. I didn't come
up with it. It's Jen Alpha.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Around the country has decided that skippity toilet isn't a
bad thing. Riz isn't a bad thing, Sigma isn't a
bad thing, but Ohio is like cringe.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Let me tell you. There's a man who has eight
million followers who posted a TikTok shitting on the city
of Toledo yesterday justin something. Did you see my response video? Well?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I follow him too, but yes.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I was fucking heated, dude.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was trying to make the video funny and I
was like, and then how about this motherfucker?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Is what I wanted to say in the middle of it.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
That's the guy that always goes listen, did you know
that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah listen.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Did you know I'm gonna fucking see you in these
streets and we go on clash hands?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Did you fucking know that? By dude? Actually, I watched
a whole bunch of his videos and he seems pretty cool,
but like it is very cool.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
He just everybody's shitting on our Ohio and Toledo, and
I will not stand this fucking slander.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Uh, you were right on a lot of it.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I don't know where the Ohio, Uh, like, where the
when that started?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Like when it became an actual thing, but it's a git.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
My daughter walks around saying all sorts of random shit
all the time, and then I'll ask her, like, what
the hell is that? Like it's a lot of scivity toilet.
She calls me bro now, hey, yo, okay, I said something.
Oh I tried to She said that the other day
and I was like what. I was like, I know
what that means, but like, what do you think ao means?
And I generally like know what it means. It wasn't
(13:48):
me being old and asking you a question trying to
get the answer. And she's like, well, it's like if
somebody was to say, uh, grab a basketball, but they
just called it a ball, you'd go a O. And
I go, why would you say that? And she goes,
you know, like balls, And I'm like, what do you
mean like balls? And she goes and she looks at
me and then kind of looks away. She knew exactly
(14:11):
what the fuck it was, So.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Sorry, side tangent, side tangent. That that one stuck it
with me for the week.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Oh my god, Oh you just found out your kid knows.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
This ball straight up heyokay.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
No, you have to teach her next though, what bing.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Bong bang bong?
Speaker 4 (14:31):
We didn't bring back bing bong in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I feel like we had that hold on.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
If you see these dogs outside, just no upstairs.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I'm fucking your mom bing bong, fuck your life.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
What do you want to say to Joe Byron? Take
me out to dinner, bing bog? I still quote that, like,
will be like, can you do dinner? Like take me
out to dinner? And he's like, what are you talking about?
You wouldn't get it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It's the Internet and you're a dinosaur. So I'm losing
my shit, Mike. I truly am losing my shit. I
feel like I'm losing all grasp on reality. I don't
know what is up and down and I'm not going
to syrapy nearly as often as I used to.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
And it's showing.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
It's showing already and it's only about a week since
my last therapy appointment.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Well, you just recently had a birthday, right I did?
Speaker 4 (15:25):
And I hate birthdays. I hate birthdays so much it's
not even funny.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
What if you don't mind me asking, I don't care
how old.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
I'm thirty two.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Jesus, why are you so you're thirty two? I know
you're still youth You're still very youthful.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I feel like I am twenty one most days.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I don't feel old and feel twenty eight.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Here's what makes me feel old when people who are
not that much younger than me, I will let you
guess who that is in this building, treat me like
there is a massive age cap between us and I go,
I was still in high school and you were in
high school, Like.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Like we're not that but old of it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
By the way, the older you get, age gabs get
like less and less, like Shannon and I are ten
years apart.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It does not feel like we are ten years apart
even a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
What's yeah, what's you're in?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Probably thirties, probably probably late twenties, early thirties. You eventually
just go because you're like in that middle of like
you're not in your twenties anymore, but you're not necessarily
in your forties or fifties, so like none of it
really matters.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yes, and if anything, I'll have kids.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I'm single, Like I'm I relate a lot more to
your age group than I do anybody in my age
group because they've all started their families. So don't don't
you exclude me like I'm the weirdow Like we all
remember going to the bars when we were like twenty one,
and there was always a dude in his fifties or
sixties hanging out by himself.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Okay, don't treat me like that guy. I'm that that guy.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Okay, I'm the slightly older bar tender who needs the
extra cash, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Like, yeah, they could still be at the bar. Yeah
they're a little bit older, but not weird older.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
No, you're the one who actually can afford the drinks
instead of like, ye just trying to get a drink.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
If you want me to be your friend, I have
the four door jeep, not the two doors. You're not
crawling in behind the seat. You've got a door to
access the backseat. It's spacious back there, and I'm probably
buying the tickets to whatever we're going to.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
You should want to be hanging out with me.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I went out.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I went out for after I went to a concert
Saturday night, and we had like a pre party type
thing or whatever, and I went out afterwards with some
friends and I went to like this. It's called tin
Can went to this ball ass bar by Van Andelreina
and it was all like you could tell a college
or like early twenties, like I'm a short dude, so
I kind of fit in, like you can't really tell
(17:52):
because it's like a dark place.
Speaker 6 (17:54):
And they were like, let's do People were with like
let's do some shots, and I'm like, yeah, let's do
some shots, and like the idea of it was great,
and then the shot came and I went, I don't
know if I could do this shot.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I don't I don't want, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
So I did that thing where you pretend like you
take the shot, and then I set it back down.
Immediately all the youths in the area went, you did.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Take your shot, You didn't take your shot.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Needless to say, Meggan mag I want to be home
at nine ten o'clock that night. I had a nice
little evening plan. I didn't get home till two a m.
Sunday morning.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Do you want to hear something really gross?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yes? I always.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I hat dinner the other day at four forty five
and I was in bed night met like face mask on,
hair in the bonnet, everything pajamas.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Work was done asleep by six fifty pm.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
It's not even dark. Then it's not even it's still
light out.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
I was so grimmy. I don't have anyone dose in
my bedroom. And I was like, this is.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Why this is Oh, oh that's that is nice. It
was Oh, you could make it dark all the time. Yeah,
you make it art. That's perfect.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
It was amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
That's the other hard part about trying to hang out
with young people is they still have the idea that
they need to stay out late. And I'm like, listen,
I remember, I remember being the girl that you would
show up at ten o'clock to your friend's house.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Yes, all did your hair and makeup together.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You called the uber at eleven. You didn't hit the
bars until eleven thirty midnight. You stayed out till two thirty.
You hit up a house party afterwards, then you went
to dinner or to breakfast after that, then you went home.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
Guess what, you could have the same amount of fun
if you go out at eight pm.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Even along with that day drinking, going out for the
day and then being done by eight o'clock at night, I.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Can't day drink I haven't hit that phase of life yet.
I can have one drink while the sun is out
one oh god. And here's why, because all perception of
time gets so fucked up when you day drink. Yeah
that like by four pm, I'm done, Like that's my
four o'clock in the morning, and then you go to
bed and everybody thinks you're a huge loser because you
(20:10):
couldn't keep up.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
And I just I can't be that person yet.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I can I can't transition from sun light to sunset.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I can't see.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I'm not talking ten am. I'm not talking brunch. That's
that's for. That's for like if I know that I'm
about to hop on a flight next like after a
weekend of party, that's when that's when I do, like
maybe like an early brunch drink. Right, I'm talking one o'clock,
like a tailgate or or like a college football before
(20:40):
a college football game, before an NFL game, And I'm
talking then starting at one o'clock, maybe two, three, whatever
in that in that range, and then being done by
like nine, ten o'clock because nothing is happening after ten o'clock. Nothing,
there is nothing exciting happening unless your night was already
set to go off and do those things.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
There's no bar that's going to be any different than
it was at at seven or eight. There's nothing. Sometimes
I'll make it a little later. I'll do eleven to midnight,
because midnight still is fun. By one o'clock, there is
nothing going on one am. Not a damn thing that's
worth being in a bar for now, unless you're looking
to hook up.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
All right, that's it.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Can I pict a shark tank idea right now?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (21:22):
Okay, hello sharks. Hello, how are you doing today? I'm
so glad to hear it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I am seeking a small investment of ten million dollars
for three percent of my company.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Okay, my company is bring the party to you. It
happens to an awkward pust. Hear me out, though?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
What if you and I, Mike, we started our own
bar slash club, Because, first of all, what the fuck
happened to clubs?
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Those are gone?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Is gone gone thing. It's it's breweries, it's bars, it's
which I don't remember when I missed the club.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
No, no, you just don't dance anymore?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Do you think that's it? People are just not dancing.
They don't dance I don't know. You go to a
concert or a festival, I feel like people are dancing.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
No, you know what they do? They do that? What
is it? Is it that the frat boy finger?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Is that what they're calling it? They do the finger flick,
the frat boy finger flick. That's the one dance move
that they do, okay, Or they do like a slight
hop where no real part of the body actually leaves
the ground.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
That's it. They don't dance.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I like. I like a.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Festival atmosphere more than I like a club, though I
like it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I'm trying to get my horror on with somebody I'm
going to make out with without knowing their name before
the bar turns the lights on, and then we'll figure
out once the lights turn on if we're going back
home together or not.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
See, I think that's where we differ.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I think that's gonna act like you didn't take Random's
home for the club.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Oh no, no, no, no no, I did.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I thought you meant now like today, that's what you're
doing sort of Okay. That's why I say we're different.
Did I do those before? You bet your ass? I did, absolutely,
But I was also wearing a and we've talked about
this before. I was also wearing what looked like an outfit.
I just came from a wedding from.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Baby topid for sure, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Let's take that concept and update it for the thirty
year old in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Let's use and here's where gen z is successful. So
successful they wear air force ones to the bar and
jeans and.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Comfortable tops even weddings.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
That is the correct behavior.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Let's take that dress code and place it in the
clubs of our youth. But instead of that club really
operating from ten to twelve or ten to two thirty
in the morning, that club is going to open at
eight eight is a new ten pm, and.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
It's closing at midnight.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
And midnight is last fucking call, Like we are not
serving you a drink at twelve oh one.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
You know what's wile is I love first off, love
the idea, love it. You have my money, You have
you have my money, Thank you. I At one.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Point we all were like, no, we need the bar
to be open later.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
So they moved some of them and still do it
someplaces till four am. At We don't know why, why
do we want to be up later. Why when we
could if we do it right, we go in seven,
eight o'clock, right, we go till till midnight, or or maybe.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Pushing it pushing it one, but midnight's fine. You could
get to sleep. You could do a whole weekend.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Get to sleep, sleep a good amount of time, right
so you don't wake up and feel like shit the
next day.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Get up and do it again if you want to.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Now hear me on, I'm not done with this bar Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
We are going to put a lah Ikea or is
it Lifetime Fitness had a daycare in the establishment at
the front.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
We're putting a daycare in. Baby. We are putting a
daycare in because this is for the thirty year olds.
I know you got fucking kids. Don't about the babysitter.
Don't worry about the babysitter.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
You're gonna bring the kids, have a fun time, and
we have professionals to.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
Keep that child alive.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Any company, ew or any company anything, I don't care.
If it's the fucking bank, I don't care if it's
home depot. You want me to spend so much money
or so much money and so much time in your
business anyplace, even even here. I mean, don't tell them.
They don't say too loud.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
If you put a daycare in this building, I probably
would be here twelve hours a day easily.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
It's like a cruise where there's a team club. We'll
put a teen club in.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
We'll divide them up in age groups, quarantine club so
they can have their mini dance rays going on in
the back. And then we'll have another section for like
the kids who just want to watch a movie and
chill out or play video games. Then we'll have especially
for the kids, we'll have cribs and stuff.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
We'll just take care of it for you, don't worry
about it.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
And then on top of that, we're gonna have another
section of this club, and that section is going to
be like almost a Planet Fitness esque spot area where
we're gonna.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Hook you up with some I v's to get some
fluids in you before you leave.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
There are no fucking hangovers in good morning, your one
stop shop. And on top of that, we will either
put a taco bell or a waffle house in.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Million dollar idea, brilliant, brilliant idea. I was just gonna
suggest putting serving beer everywhere, because if you serve beer everywhere,
but the next level of taking it where I don't
have to like I can send my kids over to
I don't want to say a stranger because they're they're licensed,
but in they're in the same building.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Absolutely let you. Let you do in a heartbeat.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
In a heartbeat in fact that I got a few
more minutes here.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
But it reminds me of the story I was gonna
bring up. So we were going to what were we
gonna do?
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (26:45):
I wanted my wife to go to the Alan Jackson
concert with me this weekend. It's like his last tour,
It's like a iconic dude or whatever. It was just
gonna be a fun night. Wanted my wife to go.
Couldn't Our sitters all canceled last minute, And I was like, Ah,
what are we gonna do? We don't have a level
of like our friends' kids are old enough to watch
our you know what I mean? We don't have that yet.
So we started. I looked on like care dot com,
(27:09):
which is the website. If you don't know, I'm sure
most people do, but it's a website where you can
look up babysitters in the neighborhood. But you're supposed to
like vet them, and you're supposed to go through this
whole process and meet them. I decided just to scroll
through really quick and just looked at some photos and
I went I collected a few and and said, hey,
you know, what about these guys, what about so and
(27:31):
so and so and so. I said, well, we can't
meet with them. I said, we just need them for
a couple hours. They can come here. We'd be just fine.
She goes, They're still strangers, we don't know them, but
they will be here. And so, like my qualifications were like, hey,
you seem like a nice girl. Hey, you have an
(27:51):
American flag in yours. You clearly love this country. And well,
all I really wanted was somebody to come sit in
my house. I have nest cams, I have video cameras
at the house. I have neighbors that watch the house.
You know, I just want to You can I as.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Well just sprinkle some popcorn on the floor, lock the doors,
and call it a day and say we'll be back.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
We're watching you on the camera.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
My next question was how old is okay? I guess
how young is too young for kids to be able
to babysit themselves?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
So that's my I was legitimately gonna ask you why
didn't Sess watch them?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
How old is that?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
She's ten? She's not there yet.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Guy is getting closed though, would you say like twelve?
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I don't. I don't know the correct answer. I don't know,
but like ten with two of them and Milo.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
With the baby. No, see, I couldn't. I can't. Not
that I don't trust her, but the baby is a
tough one.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
How old is Milo?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Milo is five, so by the.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Time he's seven, he'll be easy.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
And I feel like a twelve year old can take
care of a three year old if they're potty trained. Yeah, yeah,
because then you got cell phones, they know how to
run the house.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I think if the kid is potty trained, you're good.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
There's just little there's little things right now with her.
I just feel like we haven't got there yet. Like
she woke up one morning and just started making pancakes
doesn't seem.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Like that big of a deal. It's super dangerous. It's
incredibly dangerous.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
And she's an independent woman.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
I know, and we have to we have to be like,
we have to nurture that, but also be like, don't
burn us down.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Don't burn down the house, please.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I've set Maya on fire three times in the house
is still standing.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
So like she was in the car and we were
like getting things ready in the car in the garage
and so but the garage door is open, car is
running right, but like they're in the car and we're
loading them in and we go grab something for Sebastian, and.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
She's trying to change the station in the car.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Thankfully you have to be sitting in a driver's seat
to actually but she's I have like a buttons for
my shifter. She's hitting the buttons to try to change
the station, and the cars like giving her all these noises,
and I'm like, those are.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
The little things. And I'm like she just doesn't fully
know yet you can do it yet yet. Yeah, Yeah,
she'll get there, She'll get there.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Did you ever have somebody like who is definitely not
qualified to watch you, watch you?
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Oh a fuckingly?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I feel like I did too.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
I feel like I had cousins who were who I
know now, who I knew when they were like in
their teenage years that I was like, you fucking watched me,
you you watched me, Like I'm I'm holding your hair
up because you're puking in a like cause you got
way too drunk the night before you watched me.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
That's crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
What's also crazy to me is when I was going
up in the summer, there was a girl and she's
the best, the best, my friend and my brother and
her are like still friends.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
They were pretty close in age.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
And the only reason she was babysitting us, she wasn't
even really babysitting us.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
She was chauffeuring us around.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
She was sixteen and just gotten her driver's license, and
so she was our babysitter all summer, and she.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Was supposed to take us to the pool or the
zoo or whatever. But she wasn't like babysitting. Oh, she
was driving us places.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
That's another thing. Do they have to be I wonder
if you have to be at least sixteen to babysit?
Because what if something happens.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
My babysit before I was sixteen.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
If something happens now, like, how do you get them
to where they need? Like, if there's an emergency, you
can't drive them to that nine.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
One one wont if there's truly that big of an emergency.
Nine one one yay.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I guess that's true.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
But I remember like I would get dropped off by
my dad to my gymnastic coach's house and then her husband.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Would drive me home at the end of the night.
Like okay, but I was not old enough to drive yet,
and I was babysitting like kids and diapers.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
But I was probably like fourteen or fifteen. Okay, you know, yeah,
you just got to take that Red Cross CPR certification.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
They fill out a piece of paper.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
You take that to a family and you say I'm
CPR certified, and you leave them alone with your kids
at home. That everything goes okay.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
And here I am looking at care dot com a
what about this girl? And my wife goes, she's in
a bikini in her picture for care dot com. No,
we're not getting that girl. She's like, how come you
didn't pick any guys? There just wasn't a lot It
wasn't a lot of was a lot of guy options
that she goes.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Uh huh, what are the going rates right now?
Speaker 2 (32:27):
It's expensive like.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Sixty seventy bucks at each time for a kid, So
then you got to pay for.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
The multiple kids.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
Oh I need to do that.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Oh you can make money. You can make a lot
of money.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
It's because it's either you go to a either you
go to like a daycare, daycare and you're paying out
the ass, but everything's taken care of right. You literally
just drop them off and it's like a company, or
you take them to somebody's house who's got like a
little daycare system or whatever set up in their house.
You're still paying some money. And again, if there's more
(33:04):
than one kids, you're still paying for more than one kid.
And sometimes it's not even by the hour. It depends
on their age. Little kids, I don't remember if it's
little kids, it's one way or the other. Little kids
either cost more or when they get in that toddler stage,
they cost.
Speaker 6 (33:18):
More because well it seems like it would be that way,
but you're doing more work when they get into that
toddler face.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
When they're babies that all you're doing is was laying
them down. They sleep ninety percent of the time.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Todler face is fine because they're psychotic and you can
just get them to run laps and they think it's
a game. Yeah, babies are like you've got to make
the bottle right right, change diapers.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, it's honestly, it's much.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
It seems scarier, it seems harder, but it's much easier
to do to take care of a baby than it
is a.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
Todd If you have way more experience with this than
I do, you're wrong.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I was gonna okay, real quick, I gotta go. I
do have to go, but real quick. I wanted to
tell you because we're talking about Tyler. My son came
in and maybe think of you. And I don't know
why it may be think of you, because I felt
like it was something you would say. And he comes
in the room and he goes, Dad, we don't say
fuck it? Do we?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
And I go I go no, I didn't overreact. I
didn't laugh. I didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
And I said no, buddy, we we don't. And he goes,
so we don't say fuck it? Then I said no, no,
we we definitely don't. And he goes, okay, and I go,
where did you learn to say? And he goes, fuck it?
I said, yes, yes, we don't say that, remember, and
he goes, I don't know where I learned.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I don't know where I learned to say it. I said,
do you do the I don't think he learned from you.
I don't know where you learned it.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
He probably learned it from one of us, if I'm
being honest, but I wanted him to say, like where
he learned it. I was like, did you learn from school?
And he goes, no, we don't say fuck it at school.
I go, why don't you go tell your mom what
you don't say at school? And he walks in dead
pan face because again we haven't reacted, so we're not
giving him like He's.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Not like, aha, we haven't reacted to it.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
He walks in dead pant face that goes, hey, mom,
we don't say fuck it at school.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
She lost it.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I was facetiming with my girl friend last night and
I didn't realize her son was right next to her,
and I kept going, he's such a dipshit and I've
heard him and he's five in the background, just going dipshit.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
And I was like, have I taught because she's taught
him some too many? Have I taught him? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:42):
It's yeah, because they you don't whatever I learned, and
I guess I should know by now, but they're like
fucking sponges and they hear it. And then yesterday I'm
I got cut off in traffic, and I go I
said fuck you to the guy and again in the
background cause I don't think. I don't I don't think
about it sometimes and in the back I hear, Daddy,
we don't say that.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Not the reverse card.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. He gets yeah. He's
on it too. Anything we've told him not to do,
if we even a little bit do it, he's on it.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
I ate in the living room the other day. You
would have thought I fucking kicked the cat. Dad. We
do not eat in the living room. Well, fuck it.
One of the pisces and one is the cancer. We
have no idea what that says.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
About them, but we're sure it's not good.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
It's a slightly missy show with Megan and Mine.