Slightly Messy Show: The Ransom Letter?

On this weeks episode Mike and Meaghan play detectives as they’re on the hunt for the person sending random letters to our neighbors trying to stir up drama. What is it about, why are they sending them, and where are they coming from? Is Meaghan Mike’s number one suspect? Find out more now!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I don't know if you know this, Mike, I'm pretty lazy. Yeah,
you laughed a little harder that,Mike. No, I was on
board with whatever you were saying.Are you ready? Yeah, Hey,
you're on my suspect list. Bythe way, I thought I had a
breaking bad moment, I explained,I'll explain. I have a problem,

(00:24):
Michael, and I am so sorrythat you faced part of it. There
is one joy of being single withno kids, and it's I have no
real responsibilities. Go. This isthe slightly messy Show with Mike and Megan.
State means a messy show, Messy, messy Mike and Megan. It's

(00:47):
a slightly messy show with Mike andMegan. Oh, we're gonna find out
today. We're gonna find out today. I debated on talking about this right
because I don't want to bring uh, I don't want to bring whatever this
is into the light, whatever isgoing on with this the male that I've

(01:10):
been getting whatever time. I didn'twant to address it because I feel like
it's giving the attention that maybe theperson wanted. But when I tell you
that the most bizarre thing in theentire world happened to me about a week
ago, and the only person thatcame to mind, which is why I'm

(01:30):
bringing it up to you when thishappened, was miss Meghan Mick. What
did I do? I don't knowyet, but I'm watching you, always
watching Mike ways out, I'm alwayswatching you. Before I get into it,
I will say that it is,uh, it is very creepy.

(01:52):
Okay, it is incredibly creepy.You don't have to talk about my face
like that. Why are you stilljust mute me? Oh yeah, Well
turn the volume down on your phone. No way, no way, you

(02:15):
freaking boomer. Turn it's the buttonon the bottom. I'm hit, it's
not on the bottom. Why isit allowed? Because I'm old and I
need hearing aids. I don't know, my god. So when you look
at your iPhone right, dad,there's a button on the right that that

(02:36):
turns your screen on and off andlocks your phone. Now there are two
buttons stacked next to each trying toturn you didn't. I wish I could.
I'm trying to show you through themicrophone. I could promise you you
didn't, and I know that youdidn't because pushing it right now, it's
but it's the volumes they're going downor does it say I'm going up.

(02:57):
I'm trying to show you. Ican't show you. It's going up and
down right now? All right,talk now, check one, two,
three, it's the same damn thing. Maybe you need to get off and
get back on. All right,all right, I'm axident. He's a
boomerz a boomer. He's a boomer? What's the phone? What the phone?
What song was that? That waslike a like a song. I

(03:20):
don't think it's a real song.No, it was like from a kids
song. It was like, dude, do do do? Dude? Do
do do? Dude? Joining now, boomer boom, I'm turning it all
the way down. It's not doinganything. Come on, podcast listeners,
boomer boom. I'm just gonna muteyou. I don't care. Okay,

(03:46):
alright, So so what happened iswait, are you plugged into the board?
No? Okay, no, No. We've even doing this for like
two and a half years at thispoint, and I want you to know
it's called the Slightly Messy Show fora reason because we can't seem to effort

(04:09):
get our shit together. It's supposedto turn you down, though, and
it's not the bar is going upand down. I am doing it.
I don't know why it's not working. You know, you know, this
is why you're sending me letters.The most bizarre shit in the entire world
has happened in the last probably weekand a half. I don't know what

(04:33):
I did to somebody in Perrysburg,Ohio, Perry'sburg, Ohio, but I
got a Actually I didn't get anything. My neighbor surrounding me got letters from
an unmarked like an anonymous person.It doesn't even say their actual name on

(04:55):
it. It just says their addressand then it has like a little red
stamp in the owner, which ishow we know it came from Perrysburg,
Ohio. They put on it,they put the person they're sending it to
his address. Oh okay, nowyeah, it almost looks like it could
be home delivered, but it hasa stamp on it from the post office.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,like a ransom note. What is

(05:16):
this? So it is a Itlooks like somebody took a screenshot, but
they when somebody screenshot is they tooka picture of my Instagram And literally,
uh, it's like me. Andone day I heard my neighbor playing his

(05:42):
guitar on his front porch, andso I was like, oh, it
looks like my neighbors play the guitarin the porch. Guy that was it,
and you could hear the guitar inthe background. There was nothing else
to it. So this person tooka screenshot of that, then went out
of their way to print it off, then sent it to each one of
my neighbors and says, FYI livesat and then said my address. So

(06:10):
my neighbors freaked out, walk overto my house, knock on my door,
and share this with me. ThankfullyI got good neighbors. I was
going to say, aren't you closewith them? The two yes, two
of them, yes, the guythat who was playing the guitar, I
don't really know. But it wasn'tthat big of a deal. Like,
it's not that big of a deal. I was like, I wasn't making

(06:30):
fun of anybody necessarily, and Iwasn't like complaining or I wasn't you know,
it wasn't anything. But then itbecame a thing when they did this,
and now they're all freaked out.I guess for me, they're not
mad, right, nobody's upset,but they're all like weirded out, and
I'm a little now weirded out,and I was like, I'm going to

(06:51):
look into this. Well research.We can go to the post office and
I'm sure they can either figure outwho it was or at least get a
general idea. But it's from Perrysburg, Ohio. So who do you think
I thought of first when I wastold it's from Perry'sburg, Ohio. Megan
Mack from Toledo, Ohio. Well, I, first of all, you're

(07:15):
assuming I know how to fill outan envelope properly to mail it to people.
So first of all, strike line, not doing that. Second of
all, strike two buying stamps.I would never who do you think I
am? Okay, I'll give you. I'll give you that. I'll give
you that one. If anything,I'm enough of a young person. See

(07:38):
in my generation, we internet stock, and I would just look up all
of your neighbors online information and sendthem DMS. I would never mail anything
through the snail mail. If thisis what this person has done, though,
this person somehow a figured out whereI live and nicotic, yeah,
and then b shared it with otherpeople, which that's the super illegal part.

(07:58):
You can't do that you know,they're my neighbors. You can't do
that, and so my if Idon't know if you ever had something like
this happened to you, or ifyou've ever had somebody like even like break
into your car or or steal fromyou, and then you automatically assume that
everybody around you is a suspect,even like family members or like. At

(08:20):
first, I thought it was ajoke, like I thought somebody was messing
with me. And then I startedlike really looking at what it was,
and I'm like, oh, no, somebody's trying to cause an issue in
the neighborhood. Somebody is trying tocause a rift, if you will,
the riff a riff? Is itrift rift rift? I feel like there's

(08:43):
a tea on it. It soundslike there, it seems like there would
be a te mumble and see itquickly. But I started going through like
like like psychotic, looking at eachletter and then going back to like friends
and family that have me letters recently, Megan, I was sitting on the
toilet the other day and that bookyou got me for Christmas is sitting on

(09:07):
the toilet. Guess who looked atevery single letter in there and compared the
m's compared the a's compared the ohyeah, oh yeah. My wife's like,
you have got to stop this.It's not anybody you know, really
think it was me though? Forreal? No, no, okay,
no, no, no, nono. It's like I'm trying to be
like a detective in figuring out,like how can I how can I narrow

(09:31):
this down? Because again, atfirst I thought it was just somebody messing
with me. So at first,yeah, I thought, oh, Megan,
you know, was swinging through Ohioand she's messing with me. You
know, this is like a joke. I'm gonna hear about it when I
come back on the show. Andthen I really looked into the letter and
everything that was done and the intentions, and I was like, oh,
there's no way. But I hada moment of like going, my mom,

(09:52):
My mom sent me letters recently.She's the only one that I know.
Why would my mom send that tomy neighbors through Perrysburg. Yeah,
that's another thing that is actually psychotic. I can't get over. It's so
funny. Should I like kind ofpull back the curtain on this week's podcast
and when we're actually recording it?Yeah, yeah, so it's Tuesday,

(10:16):
not Wednesday. It's gonna get publishedon Wednesday, but it's Tuesday that we're
recording this because the morning show isgoing to be out at the PGA Tournament
tomorrow and I can't come back tothe studio. We just got done filming
the More Mojo podcast. Filming recordingrecording is the right word. I'm gonna
be real honest, Mike. Mybrain is absolute garbage mush right now.

(10:37):
So the fact that I'm able toput even somewhat coherent sentences together right now,
you should be impression. But wewere just talking about how we all
are on social media and how it'sused differently for us than probably normal people,

(10:58):
and how it leads to like reallycrazy bait from people, and some
like I love this stuff. Thisis my dream job. I love this
job. I put up with lumBullshir because I love this job. Right,
I think if people knew the kindof move you would be like,
wow, they both really love it. Because that's but like, this is
one of those huge things that makesme step back and be like this is

(11:20):
insane. This makes me so uncomfortablefor you, Like this is actually scary,
and it like is like, Ihate this part of our job,
the fact that people think that thisis an acceptable thing to do. First
of all, what's what was thereason put insert CARDI b's What was the

(11:41):
reason? Like why it wasn't likeyou were talking? Why are they trying
to stir up drama between you andyour neighbors? Why would they go out
of their way and put in thismuch effort to cause problems for you?
Get a fucking hobby and also,oh yeah, get off walking hobby.

(12:01):
Sometimes they just want to scream atpeople and be like I bought a ten
dollars cruche kit for Michael's the otherday, like it like, you can
try something new that will eat upyour time that's not that expensive, my
dude. Yeah, And it didn't. It didn't do what they were trying
to do. Because A, myneighbors in their neighborhood and I have a
decent relationship. Even though they didkind of call me out on the Wi

(12:22):
Fi password or the WiFi thing theother day too, they weren't happy about
that, but I changed it andwe they apologize for their dog. That
being said, it didn't do whatthey the intended thing was, and I
have cool enough neighbors who were moreworried about they were. They were trying
to cause drama, right, Theywere trying to to make out all my
neighbors get pissed at me and mebe uncomfortable at home. And that didn't

(12:45):
work. It didn't work. Whatit did is it actually made our neighbors
a little bit closer and and theyare now looking out for me. So
like, if something like this happensagain, like they're gonna I don't know
if they have nestcams or ringcams checkthat. If I have to look into
it and get cops, I'll dothat. It's doesn't It freaks me out,

(13:05):
But I don't think in a waythat they like it doesn't. I
don't know what the intention was,I guess there, but I this is
one of This is probably the weirdestthing that's happened in a while, I'll
say for sure. And if youdidn't say that, I would be very
concerned, because Mike, this isconcerning. It is, but I can't
What I can't let it do isI can't let it. It's not gonna

(13:26):
Uh, I'm not gonna be victimizedby this. No, No, you
know what I mean? I'm notgonna I'm not gonna be like, Oh,
you know, I can't do myjob. I can't do that,
you know what I mean? Oh, I should file a police repert I
didn't think of that. Yeah,no, I actually would do that because
I have a feeling that this isn'tgoing to be the last time it happens.
But I don't know what's going onlately with people, especially if it

(13:48):
came from Perrysburg. Okay, ifyou're not from northwest Ohio, let me
try to give you a rundown onwhat Perrysburg is. Perry'sburg is like a
very expensive, well off area likeyou. This is weird behavior coming from
somebody that lips you know what I'msaying like this, Uh, oh,

(14:09):
don't get mad at me. Ilove you. I love you so much.
This is east Side behavior. Thisis not This is not Perry's behavior.
You know what. It is pettyenough to be Perry's. I take
it back. It's just petty enoughto cause problems for no reason. But
it is in fact Perry's per behavior. Uh, it wasn't like it wasn't
like they were It's not like they'redoing like stalker is stuff. It's not

(14:33):
like that kind of thing. It'sit's like they tried to find something that
would piss off my neighbors enough andthen send it to all my neighbors but
not me. Like I didn't getit. I had no idea for like
a week that this was even there, and then luckily I got cool enough
neighbors that were like, hey,we all got the exact same letter in

(14:54):
the exact same way. So Idon't know, I don't know what I'm
I guess I should probably go talkto somebody. I didn't really think to
make that big of a deal outof it. We were just gonna go
to the the post office. MaybeI should, though, maybe I should.
I think that would be smart.Yeah, I think that would be
a little bit smart. I willsay, kind of to your your point.
There is somebody who is, uh, I think I've told you this,

(15:16):
got my phone number and keeps signingme up for less and then calling
me at night. Are you serious? Yeah, so he's inside. He
signed me up for insurance quotes forhouses, cars. Like all I get
calls every day saying like, hey, so and so, and it's not
my name, but it's one name. So like they've used my phone number
and then a different name, sothat I get calls all the time.
They're like, we saw your houselocated on this It's not my address,

(15:39):
thank god, but like we're hereto we're reaching out to give you that
quote you contacted us about. Sosomebody's signing me up for Liz and then
calling me at night, Like theperson is calling me at night, and
it's so weird. It's so weird. Like, get uh, there are
people in the real world that wouldlove to have a converse with you.

(16:00):
Go find them. Find them?What joy I mean? I get back
to the Cardi b quote, Like, what is the reason? What are
you getting out of this? Idon't know. It's it's truly disturbing when
you think about it. I alsothink that right now, Yeah, I'm
not going to say that. Ithink you should call me later today.
Okay, there's something I want totell you, but I think it is

(16:22):
you. It's you. It isthat what you want to tell you.
Here's a thing I was I'm actuallygoing to tiledo today and here's where I'm
an asshole. Where were you inJune fourteenth, not the date that I
thought you said that I was like, but can I tell you in my
head, I'm going to Sylvania,which is like pretty close to Perrysburg today.

(16:45):
I'm in my just a second,would it be funny if I drove
up to Perrysburg and set him aletter and then you told your story?
I was like, not very funnyanymore, not very funny anymore. Well,
because the interesting thing, and Iknow this now, and I guess
I should have realized this is Ithought they had to really dig to like
find my address. You know,it's not as difficult as as people might

(17:08):
think it is. It's not hard. No, when I lived at my
house, you just googled my namespelled correctly. It was on the first
page of results. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't realize that. And then
it's not hard. Everybody's like,well, they're socking you. They found
the addresses of the people around you. No, no, it's really easy.
I don't know what zillow works foryou. There's a website. Oh

(17:30):
my god, I got a callreally bad. I did a very dramatic
coll for the people on TikTok whocould still hear me. But there is
I think it's called like axis orsomething. Oh, what is the web?
Is there anybody on in Ohio watchingthis TikTok live right now? There's
a website where all you have todo is type in somebody's name spelled correctly,

(17:52):
and it pops up every address ofevery person with that name in the
state. Oh really, which partof it I understand? Because part of
it is like if you have alawsuit and you need to sue somebody and
you don't know where they live,or like say somebody hit and ran on
your car, but somebody was like, oh, that was Doug and he
works at this restaurant, and thenyou go find out Doug's name, like,
okay, now I can send himthe lawsuit. Like that makes sense

(18:15):
to me. But the thing thatscares the absolute hell out of me is
that you can just look up anybody'saddress ever. That's that's creepy as hell.
It's super creepy, and I Imean, it doesn't it honestly,
I don't even wouldn't even care.I don't know. This sounds weird.
I wouldn't care if they people knowmy address. I don't care about that.

(18:37):
Sharing it is legal, So that'sthat's kind of weird to me.
But also like bothering my neighbors withsomething silly, that's what's Yeah, and
they're deggrating. At the end ofthe day, they're gonna if they get
another one, they're just gonna throwit away or tell me it's not that
big of a deal. But it'smore that they would that somebody somewhere has
gone out of their way to searchfor something just so that they could try

(19:00):
to stir up trouble in the neighborhood. Yeah, and there are also loopholes
around it. Like, genuinely,when I moved out of my house,
I was very happy that, likemy address wasn't public anymore. Like I
moved somewhere where only people I wantedto know my address knew. And that
to me was like because I thinka lot of times people were making fun

(19:22):
of me for living with my brother. Okay, part of it was safety.
Part of it was somebody told meif you googled my name, my
address popped up. And I wasopen about being like, I just moved
into my first house, I livealone, I'm single, YadA YadA yah,
And now people could just have myaddress and know that I lived alone.
That was genuinely terrifying. So mybrother actually moved in about four or

(19:44):
five months before we talked about iton the air, just because like,
I didn't want anybody to know anythingabout my personal life for a minute because
everything was changing quickly and everybody knewwhat was going on. But there's a
loophole, and I wish that youwould have known this before buying your current
house. You can buy your houseunder an LLC that you create, so

(20:07):
it's still all in your name,but people can't google your name and have
the LLC pop up. Oh that'snice. Four years yeah, four years
too late for that, but thankyou. Sorry. I only know that
because I know many people in ourindustry who have done that. That's what
I'll if I move, which Ididn't plan on it, and I don't
plan that for a couple of years. I'll know that for next time.

(20:29):
That's why a lot of celebrities don'thave their addresses leaked until they're like actually
spotted entering or leaving their house,because most of them either buy them under
business managers names or whatever or LLCs. Yeah, I got I got cameras,
so you know I'm doing I've hadcameras before Anyways. I don't think
it's I don't think it's to thatlevel yet. I don't think I'm baby

(20:52):
Reindeer yet, but i've We're allaway, baby united, baby Reindeer.
What would you be? You wouldbe a baby Angley because he is heavy?
Baby? No, why they havechion? Why does everybody keep saying
that? Because do they really havethe clap? Yeah? But it's different

(21:14):
than like the human clap? Howdo we know this? First off?
We find this out because I thinkif I had to guess, the vast
majority of them are in captivity.Oh I thought they walked around like squirrels
in Australia, like they just kindof maybe they do. I don't know.
I truly don't know. No,now you like it? It's water.

(21:45):
I'm so bad at it. It'shard to know. It's a slightly
missy show up. Pathetic, absolutelypathetic. Love the show. You guys
are doing a great job with Mikeand Megan. Are you going to share
your target experience? Are you done? Are you no? You're tired a
long weekend? Dude? Yeah?What would you do? I went to

(22:08):
the club, dude, the clubwas dancing. Well I shouldn't I've been
Okay, before I tell you thestory, I've started incorporating a new phrase
into my life that I know wasgoing to lead me to trouble. Okay,
I keep saying. I was likeI was dancing like like a whore,

(22:30):
or I was like we got photosdone yesterday and Cat did my makeup
and I go ooh, girl,you're making me look like a whore.
And I mean it in a goodway, like I've made it like I'm
feeling like beyond I'm feeling myself.I'm feeling myself. That's how I mean
it. It's supposed to be apositive, but I feel like Kat for
a second was like you don't likeit, and I was like, no,

(22:52):
no, like I love it,like like I want to be.
I want to be. And Istarted saying that way too often where I
know I'm going to say it atthe most inappropriate time. I'm just waiting
for me to say it on Motoin the morning, because like I know,
in a fit of just like catchingme off guard, I'm gonna be
like I was seeing like a wholeIt's gonna be bad. But I was

(23:15):
truly feeling like ohoa this weekend,like I aw, I had gone out
Mike before I get into the story. Okay, do I drink No,
not really it at all. Okay, I did all weekend, all weekend,
I don't know. But we dida family reunion booze cruise this weekend

(23:36):
on Friday. That's always fun.I was drinking because I got a ride
there, and uh, I couldwalk home from it. So I was
like, what's gonna hammen, Youjust stumble home and simon tomorrow is fine.
So got absolutely shammered and then wentback to my place and I bought
three hundred bottles of alcohol because Ithought a million people were showing up to

(24:02):
my house before this booze cruise.Nobody came. I have so much alcohol,
it's not funny. Dialo back fora minute. Oh okay, three
hundred I mean oh oh? Ithought, oh no, no, I
thought you were being you were verylike casual about it, like you were
like dead serious. You bought threehundred, like three thousand, maybe a

(24:22):
little bit more dramatical was necessary.I thought, well, that's still that's
like in that middle ground of like, yeah, maybe she did get three
hundred. No, I think Iabout like four or five bottles of alcohol
and then like two bottles of wine. But do you get. I didn't
have any alcohol in my house.I was like, got two bottles of
wine and then because one redwood white, I don't know. And then I
got like a bottle of aka abologequila. I got a bottle of whiskey,

(24:48):
and there was a bottle of somethingelse I don't remember, but like,
you know, just like I don'tknow what people want, so I'll
just get one of everything and hopething like it. But then nobody came
over to my place beforehand. Sothen my brother and I went back after
the booze cruise and just had allthis alcohol hanging around and we're like,
just keep it going right as wellat that point, but we're old,

(25:08):
so we didn't go out like normalpeople do and enjoy the beautiful weather.
We were like, let's let's druon tiktoks and Netflix and just chow right
here. Yeah, there you go. This sounds fun. We had frozen
pizza and the char board, soyes, that sounds great. Everything about
that sounds great. So then Iwake up on Saturday, right, I'm
feeling good because I don't get homeover because I don't drink. I'm fine,

(25:30):
I'm young, and yeah, Iwas gonna say, Andrew Young,
so like you're able to recover fastenZ, thank you not at all.
You know you're not. That's whywhen you make fun of me for the
you go back to the beginning ofthis podcast, when you made fun of
me for the phone thing. We'realmost the same age. We're basically the
same age. I also don't remembermaking fun of you. You can't prove

(25:52):
that that happens. Boom. Soon Saturday, I wake up and it's
Shannon's like wedding reception, and itstarted at noon. I started drinking at
noon. Whoa, And I didn'tget home until like one o'clock in the

(26:12):
morning, and I did not stopdrinking the entire day. First off,
let's slow clear that that is impressive. I don't think. I don't know
that I've done that in a longtime. Good work. I think the
most impressive part about it was Inever got drunk enough to puke, but
I was never really sober the wholeday either. And I think that delicate

(26:33):
balance of like staying between tipsy anddrunk without going too far it's hard to
do. It's so hard to do, Like that's consistency. I should put
that on my resume, drinking consistencycan hold the right buzz for twelve hours,
so all that have a great night. I ended up at a club.

(26:55):
I was dancing with strangers. Itwas in the basement in an alley,
like I don't know I was,but I was there, and there
were black lights everywhere, and Iwas like, oh my god, I
am cool, Like this is whypeople go out. I get it.
I think I should be around peoplemore often, you know, yeah,
yeah, like you should get outinto the real word. Wait. Wait.
But then all of that changed thenext morning because my brother went home

(27:19):
the next day and I had errandsto run, and I ended up at
Target, because where else would Igo? Sure, And I got out
of my car and I start walkingtowards Target, and I go, oh,
no, my body does not likehow it feels right now, and
I think the only way to feelbetter is to pue right now. And

(27:40):
I puked in the parking lot ofa Target, not even near my car.
I was walking towards the building,could not make it back, could
not make it to Target. Ijust like ran to the curb area where
they have trees and literally puked bya stranger's car. Grabbed mints out of
my purse, popped out like achamp, walked into my shopping I went

(28:02):
home. Where did you? Wheredid you find a place to puke that
nobody noticed you puke? Oh?I'm sure people noticed, But I thought
there's two ways to handle this.Shamefully go back to the car, go
home and figure out another way toget the things that you need, or
show everybody that just saw you thatyou're a rallying champ. Pop em it
dramatically so everybody knows you just poppedthem it. Yeah, yeah, like

(28:25):
the air. Here's an entire canof bell to wood. And then walk
into the target, get what youneed, and go get a full fat
coke for McDonald's, which I did. You are on somebody's snapchat, you're
on somebody's TikTok, and you're onsomebody's Instagram stories. Right now, there
is somewhere out there somebody was atthat target, because I know, damn

(28:48):
well, if I saw somebody justthrowing up in a target parking lot,
like first, I'll be like,are you okay or out? No,
I'll probably record, and then I'llgo, hey, are you okay?
Are you okay? Are you fine? Let me tell you what probably worked
in my favor. I am aadult woman. I'm sure somebody went,
oh morning sickness, been there,and I think that works for me.

(29:14):
I bet there was one woman orone dad. I should just say mom
or dad who is like my mybaby mama or I have been there?
Girl, wait a rally and gothey could do you take it a step
further now and you go parking thoseexpected mother parking spots. You pull up

(29:36):
the target and you're like, Icould pull off one of the close spots.
Oh yeah, who's gonna question youat that point? In fact,
they're going to help you. They'regonna get you, mince, They're gonna
get you maybe even toothpaste and thetoothbrush. I'm like, you got this,
don't worry, you got this.It wasn't my proudest moment. But
also, if you did filment,will you tag it and send it to
me. I haven't been hungover thoughin a very long Have you ever had

(30:02):
a petty hungover a moment? Becausethis is one of my favorite stories.
Super hungover. Once I was liketwenty three years old and uh, my
brother, his girlfriend, me andmy boyfriend we had all gone out to
breakfast and I was extraordinarily hungover,and you get all the greasy, bad
foods like you're supposed to do.And I think I've told you this before,

(30:23):
but I got bacon and we hadsat there for like an hour.
I was done eating, and mybrother was just being an a hole.
He thought he was being funny.He probably was being funny, and I
was hungover and I did not findit funny, but like, kind of
just make it fun of me overand over again. Yeah, And then
at the end he was like,oh, can I have your last piece
of bacon if you're not gonna eatit? And I was so angry at
him that I picked up the cold, greasy bacon and I shoved it in

(30:45):
my mouth and it took me tenminutes to chew and swell, and the
whole time I was like, Oh, throw it back up. No,
I ate it out of spye.I spie ate that piece of bacon.
It's called the spipe bacon. Andif I tell my brother spipe bacon,
he tells the best version of this, I think is that the wireless place.
You think you puked or do youthink you got it? No,

(31:07):
because here's the thing. Oh God, can I be honest, it's going
get gross. Okay, I'll tellyou I have no shame. I think
there's no worse feeling than knowing whenI've been incredibly drunk, I've grabbed a
bar toilet seat while puking and youdon't realize it at the time, but
like when you start to sober upor in the morning, you're like,

(31:29):
I definitely had to brace myself onthat toilet and not like on the side,
like I put my hands on thattoilet seed. That toilet seed is
the Koala of toilet seats. It'sgot all the clap it's got all the
it's got all the diseases. I'lltell you where it was for anybody listening
in the Northwest. While I havea vivid memory of holding the toilet seat
at the Attic in Uptown, tillyou though the vivid memory, and anybody

(31:52):
who's been to the Attic is likethat was a choice. That was a
choice. I think the I thinkthe worst place that I puked is was
the next day it was hungover.We got picked up by my mother in
law, my wife and I didafter a night out and uh, she
picked us up and on the wayhome. I'm like, I'm gonna throw

(32:13):
up, And so she pulled intothe first she knew what happened. She
knew what was going on, andshe pulled into the first parking lot she
could and it was a church parkinglot and thousand percent on a Sunday morning.
Oh yeah, luckily it was.I think it was early enough.
You know, I don't know,I don't know that there weren't people in
there. I don't know that therewere I don't know, but I definitely

(32:34):
puked in a a church parking lot. And yeah, sure, sure,
sure show I had sex on thechurch parking lot. Good for you,
thank you. We both left withour parents at the time and needed a
place to do it. And thechurch was the only closed business around part
that Honda Civic and had a funtime in a civic EVI, baby,

(32:55):
I was so then there's no they'reunusually small cars cars, Oh my god.
Yeah, we were creative civic churchparking lot, baby. And it
was a strip mall church too,not even a beautiful cathedral like a strip

(33:16):
mall. They were taking they weretaking Backstreet Boy songs and making them church
songs. That bad type of church. Oh, dude, not to get
religious, but nobody has music thatslaps like the Catholic Church. What do
you mean like the heymns? AndI will be you that that stuff will

(33:39):
haunt your soul forever and never getout of your head. Sing to a
think to the seas, raise yourboys lived. This is to take the
Loyd husband. Let us rejoicing?Or who's that knocking at joe door?

(33:59):
Oh c why don't you wear its? Simple? He's not good? I
JOEA, can you He's not good? I joyed it, Okay, yeah,
but it doesn't compare to the mall. The mall pastor, the youth
pastor who's got still has eyelights inhis hair because he's living in the nineties
and he's changed a Macklemore song intoa song about prayer, because that's what

(34:23):
I I didn't grow up in theCatholic Church. I grew up with those
those nondnominational megachurches. Let me tellyou my favorite thing that the youth pastors
used to wear when I was injunior high in high school. What so
many of them were scarfs, butthat Harry Potter movie, No, no,
no, how do I describe this? They were v ne neck t

(34:43):
shirts with those like scarves that weren'tactually warmed. They were just like decorative.
You don't know what I'm like,leather bracelets, staple youth pastor did
they have the chain wallet still?Or was that fatato? Not a single
tattoo, but they were edgy,Yeah, like a hemp tattoo. Might

(35:06):
watch it later, might not,I don't know, we'll see, Oh
my god, that it just peaksfrom under their shirts. What was a
good like non denominational megachurch song?What were the hillside songs that were Oh,
I don't I don't know. Ijust know they used to take old,
like like pop songs that were clearlyvery very very very beyond their years,

(35:29):
and they would change them into likelike uh church songs, and so
it would be like a like alike a maclmore song. Instead of thrift
shop it would be uh, I'mgonna pray some only got uh donation money
in my pocket? Do you know? I went to three Christian rock concerts

(35:52):
before I ever went to a realrock like an email concert, And I
thought I was so hard at thoseChristian rock concerts, And then I went
to like a panic at the discout follow up boy concert. I was
like, oh, those those arenot rock concerts that I used to go
to. Got It, got it, lesson learns, follow, follow me,

(36:14):
follow the slightly Messy show on Ig at slightly messy show. Woo