Episode Transcript
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Welcome to the Weed owned podcast starringhusband and wife Mojo from Mojo in the
Morning and his better half Chelsea onthis episode. On this episode of the
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weedone podcast, we are coming backfrom parents weekend, and we actually brought
some parents with us. We did. We got a special guest that's going
to be in here, actually gueststwo that are going to be in here,
and we're going to talk about arecap of our parents weekend and some
very interesting people that know us alltoo well. You're best friends. We
will begin the podcast now, pleasewell, all right, all right,
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all right, without further delay,here are Mojo and Chelsea. All right,
this is kind of cool. Sowe're back from parents' weekend, and
Chelsea, would you like to introduceour we don't audience to the people that
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are with us, our guests orwe don't guess yes, So my best
friend from second grade, Leah andher husband Dennis. Yes, you've heard
us talk about them before. SoDennis and Leah are interesting because you guys
are best friends since the second grade. But they're also interesting in the fact
that we kind of mirror each other. Where we have three boys, they
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have three boys virtually pretty much thesame age, give or take a couple
of years, except Max and Lukeare within two weeks of each other.
Yeah, the babies are the same. So Leah, you did who decided
they were gonna have babies at thesame time? You or Chelsea. I'm
just kidding. I'm just both.I think we're surprised. A yeah,
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how are you? No? Ithink Chelsea Luke was a surprise Max.
Okay, yeah, it was asurprise for Dennis. Wait is it weird
for you guys? Do you guysknow? Do you guys talk about the
fact that you guys have been friendssince the second grade? You guys were,
you know, best buddies, Yourmoms were best buddies, And how
weird is it that your kids arethe same age and going to school together
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and all this. I mean thatI think it is funny because I don't
think yet we ever would have imaginedgrowing up that this is where we would
be. No, absolutely not,Yeah, but it's so fun it's Yeah.
Is it wild for you guys to, uh, to see that your
boys kind of grow up with thedisciplinarians that you guys were. Were you
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guys always like you are? Rightnow? Because both of you guys are
some really tough bitches. I justwant you to know that. Well,
Lee, it's tougher than me,but yeah, I would say you want
I am, but less tough onthe third correct, Yeah, that's the
baby, extremely difficult. The husbandthe best thing actually the husbands, who
are the personalities in the in therelationship, right, Yeah, I agree,
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there's got to be someone in thefamily that carries the troop. That's
right. Here's the interesting thing too. We just came back from parents' weekend
and so we're all wearing our MichiganState gear. And the funniest is we
go into the bookstore and we juststart buying all this stuff and our kids
aren't really wanting to buy a bunchof stuff. Like our kids are like,
can we just go back to thedorm. We don't want to deal
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with this. Yeah. Well,Dennis is the biggest purchaser of Michigan state
gear and are for some here.Yeah, I feel like for the eight
hundred thousand dollars they make you sendthere, they should send us box loads
of Right. By the way,these guys they're not from Michigan. So
anybody that's listening to this going,oh well, that's this is obvious.
You know you send your kids toa similar school. You guys are from
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California, right, son in California, Flifornia, Right we are. That's
why you have the accent. That'swhy I got that southern twang in my
yeah, in my voice. Sohere's an interesting thing. I want to
add recap Parents' weekend and see ifit was everything that you guys wanted it
to be. Was everybody happy withParents' Weekend? Because I thought that there
were some really fun times and thenI thought it's sad. You know,
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it kind of sucks to leave yourkids. I don't know why I get
depressed when we pull away. Ithought it was a lot of fun.
We had a lot of fun.For sure. The game was fun,
it was perfect weather, The barswere fun after with the kids, yea.
And the first dinner not so good, but the second meal was good.
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Yeah. Yeah, I would sayoverall it was a lot of fun.
Is it tougher for you guys knowingthat you're taping this podcast with us
on Sunday and Monday? You guysare getting on an airplane and you're flying
how many miles away is Los Angelesfrom it's about I think it's twe seventy
four months. That was actually aquestion at the Charger game last week on
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the American Airlines, Like really thatwas that was one of the questions,
and Leo goes, I'll get thiscorrect. Nineteen seventy four according to Delta,
what is so? What is it? Is it tough for you guys
to be that far away from yourchild's because the furthest that we'd sent a
child the way to school was youknow, four hour drive away in Chicago.
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Oh, it's incredibly hard because thefurthest we've sent away was well,
Arizona, but then forty five minutesaway the second one went. But this
one is the farthest. But honestly, I don't think he would be going
here if you guys didn't live here, really, yeah, because you would
have stick. I would have beentoo scared, I think, yeah,
because it would not he did.He wouldn't have his he wouldn't have his
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Michigan family here. Yeah, itdoesn't. Clearly I have no say in
this, so I guess that wouldhave happened. Then, as you do
not have anything, tell me,uh, Leah, well, what it
was like for you to say goodbyeto him this go around, because the
last go around that you said goodbyewas when you dropped him off and you
know, well, no, youhave been here one last time besides this,
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but that time you knew you werecoming back. Now you know the
next time you're coming back is whatChristmas to bring him back? Yeah,
this time must Well. When Icame out in September for Chelsea's birthday and
we saw the boys, I feltgood leaving him because I was still excited
for him. It was still newand he was having a good time.
This time was much harder because hehad a lot more to tell us about
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his struggles with being in college,first semester away from home, So this
time was very hard. Yeah,are you tearing up right now? Maybe
is the you know much at thebig DAILYA doesn't cry about this. Cry?
Yeah, I didn't cry. Iwonder about this and we're all in
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the same boat. But I alwayswonder about this, like did our parents
think the same thing about us whenwe left? Because I think of how
much we protect our kids and wedon't want them to hurt, and when
they are hurt, you know,we try to build them back up and
reassure them. And I sit thereand I think, fuck, I was
really hurt a lot when I wasa kid. I don't remember my dad
ever. My dad was like,you know, having a cocktail or something.
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You know, Well, we haveFaceTime, We have all these things
today, so it is easier tostay connected. Yeah, with our kids.
But I think you're right, like, if we were going through any
personal trauma, yeah, they probablyhad no idea. Yeah. Now that's
that's that's difficult. So Chelsea,can you reassure Leah that the Michigan mom
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will be okay? We'll be thereto be for She knows that I am
there and if they need anything,I'm and I'm always like, okay,
did you guys want some water?Do you need a jacket? You want
to go up there? Yes?I do all the time. I just
want to see them and we do. We see them as much. But
also I want to give them theirspace to enjoy college. But also yeah,
no, we're there. I'm therewhenever they need me for sure.
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Yeah. What Dennis, how howdo you feel? Are you as emotional
as Leah is right now? Whenyou see Leah being She's only seen cry
three times in my life and we'vebeen married for twenty five years. Is
there lead on is this is?Is this an intervention? Actually? Are
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we recording anything? What is itthat that makes you so emotional? Is
it the fact that you're not thereto conry about him? Are you what
do you worry about? Where wasthis this morning? I was the one
getting well. I was trying tocomfort you this morning if you were upset
about it, I was very well. He's just you know, from California,
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and he has a very small groupof friends right now, and you
know, he just he has tomake the effort to go out and meet
people, meet people. And he'san introvert like me, so it's very
hard for him. But you know, we tried to encourage him last night
and today. Yeah, it's justbut you can tell he's sad. Is
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he going to hear this? Idon't want to. No, No,
nobody listens to this. But butwhat did he listen to a podcast that
we're we don't pay for us?Yeah? No, I mean, look,
it breaks your heart when he toldme he goes. I just you
know, I think I do needto make some more friends, like he
needs a bigger circle. And andMax is Max is such a fantastic kid.
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And he uh, he's wonderful aroundyou know, my friends. He's
gone on. He's an old soall my buddies love him. He loves
going to games. He's great withadults and stuff. But unlike me,
you know, he's not gonna hecould you know, I could go to
a funeral in Afghanistan and come outwith thirty friends, right, And he
doesn't want to put himself out there. He kind of waits for things to
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happen. But he's a great friend. I tell you what, if you
get Max as a friend, yougot a friend for life, for life.
The thing about Max two and thisis just to give everybody an idea
of who Max is. Max isnot a typical eighteen year old kid that
wants to go and party like he'slike even when we said, hey,
let's go off to the bart,we were trying to encourage him to go
out. Actually, he tried toencourage him to go out and use his
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fake ID and it got taken awayso he couldn't even use the goddamn thing
front of parents. And we werelike mortified that we had his ID taken
from him. Yeah, it feltbad, but he's not. He doesn't
need that, like he doesn't needAnd I think that one of the things
that I realized because I've spent alot of time with Max too, when
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he's come to our house and hungwith us, and I'm like, I
don't look at Max as like myfriend's kid. I look at Max's kind
of my friend. He's such agreat kid. And I don't think that
Max is the type of guy thatneeds to have guys going out drinking.
And I don't think he wants to. He doesn't tend to seem like he
wants to do that, but hedoes. I can tell that he's These
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kids need to get all the partyshit out of their system. And from
what I hear, because our othertwo did not go to a traditional like
university like this. From what Ihear, well, Jacob did a little
bit more than Joe, for sure, But it takes the first few months
to get that out of everybody's systemand then everybody kind of does their thing
after that. But Lea, doyou worry that Max is not having fun?
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Like, do you worry that he'snot enjoying school or that he like,
does it worry you about him beingat Michigan State right now that this
maybe he thought he took chose thewrong place, Like if he was at
a California school, would he havemore friends and stuff. That's that's a
good question. Dennis and I weretalking about that this morning before we left
East Lansing. You know, maybethis wasn't the right school for him,
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it was too big. He wouldhave done better at a smaller school.
But you know, we can't questionthat. Now. He's where he is
and he'll make the best of it. He'll be fine. It's just you
know, you worry. Yeah,we're two and a half months in,
so let's take a deep breath.Yeah, and by the way, he's
doing fine now. I think aswe're not helicopter parents and and Tom,
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like you said earlier, like whenour parents left us at college, they
were like, we'll see you,you know, at the end of the
year, right Christmas. So wejust you know, as the world we
live in and how engaged we are, so we can tell, like if
he left the game earlier, Sowe probably overworry. And we do worry
that he's said or doesn't have friends. But I think probably in life you
find there's a lot and I toldMax the other night, So you know
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what, there's a million kids likeyou right now that are just trying to
find their way, find their friends. But I go, you really gotta,
you know, just hold your values. Told strong because Max is a
great relationship guy, Like if likewe were just talking, if you're friends
with him, He's a solid dudethat stuff with you. So and can
I tell you this that I thinkyou know that you talk about the idea
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would he have been different if youwent to a smaller school. Maybe this
isn't it him. I've seen himin action, like I could not imagine
myself as a one person going tostand in the long ass line to go
into the student section at a footballgame. And I actually when I went
up for the Michigan Michigan State game, Max drove back with me and I
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said to him, Hey, doyou want to sit with us? He
was like, no, I wantto sit in the student section. Like
he chose to do that. AndI had asked him who he was going
to the game with, and hewas going with, you know, some
of his his roommates. And I'mthinking to myself, I had much better
seats, Like I had good seatsto go to the Michigan wasn't there.
Well, no, but I'm thinkinglike and I'm and and I'm mojo,
like I'm mode like I don't knowif you know this, but no,
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but but no, but I lookand I look at how how good he
was at you know, this iswhat he wanted to do. Secondly,
we had the opposite with Luke,like Luke doesn't want to be with us
at all, like Maximiz's like Ienvy you guys, And I look at
Lucas is pledging a fraternity and he'sreally all about that and he's doing that.
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He has to be about that rightnow. His life literally is being
there a little bit for lack ofterms, like he literally is running all
of their errands doing he's not sleepingif he's you know, they party.
So his life really truly right nowthis semester unfortunately or you know, he's
choosing it. So it's all aboutthat right now. But I but Chelsea,
I look at what Dennis and Leeare going through and I actually I
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know I envy them them for Maxwell, and I'm irritated that Luke isn't
spending more time with Max. Quitefrankly, by the way. Yeah,
I love hanging out with Luke andI probably should have gone out with Luke.
I mean, be honest with you, Max, you want to go
back to bed, but but canI be Can I be quite quite honest?
You don't have to worry if Maxisn't going out a bunch because you
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know he's he's safe. He's inhis dorm where I worry about Luke.
And you know, this is anew side to Luke. We've like never
seen the size of Luke before.But that whatever, this is college.
I'm trying to let him. Butisn't it interesting that it's two kids that
are totally they're the same age,but they're so different. But they really
aren't. Though as a thing,they are very similar. Like it's very
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funny. We took a trip withthem over the summer. Yeah, and
they are very similar to each other. It's just just so happens that Luke
went a different avenue at the beginningof school. And you know, I
thought it was I thought it wasactually cool to see Luke encouraging, telling
he loves being with Max, likewhenever, whenever they're together, like he
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but it then he goes off andthen he's doing this stuff for the fraternity,
which drives me crazy because I wouldlove if Max was a part of
that. But Max dident' but hewas encouraging of Max. Yes, yeah,
he wants Max to he wants Maxto rush. So and I'd love
to hear people listening to this andask you that if you've been through this
with your kids, because this doesn'tmake a difference what your kids ages.
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It could be as young as LittleLeague and being on teams or being part
of groups at school. You alwaysyou never forget when your kids came home
and they either told you they madea new friend or they told you that
somebody shunned them, right, Andthe feeling that you would have, you
know what I mean, like theemotional feeling because you were you put yourself
back into that when you were akid. Think about Chelsea and Leah when
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they were you know. Uh,yeah, you guys, you now are
getting paid back that elementary school gameyou guys had. Hey, there were
only seven kids in our school,basically, that's true. Yeah, your
parents were part of a cult orsomething, weren't you guys, like a
religious cultures? Talk about another episode, but can we change gears a little
bit, and I don't know ifyou're you're comfortable with this. Real quick
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though, let me just say thisthe thing about Luke and Max. Uh
so, yeah, they went differentways a little bit this year, but
when you're together with him, youcan tell that they were just grounded in
love and they had good family.Well Max has a good mom, so
yeah, everything good from Leah.I think Luke's got a good dad.
Yeah, got great. It's Leahand I that are the strong ones.
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I'm throwing Chelsea in there. Hey, she's my Michigan wife. I have
to call her to go. Canyou ask Leah to go to Costco?
And yeah, and by the way, I'm getting as much sex from her
as you are getting. May letme tell you twenty four to seven.
Okay, I want to switch caresa little bit. Lea's telling you to
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shut up. This is my show, by the way, in Chelsea's show.
I just want you to know thatyou want your own podcast. You
can start it yourself. Dennis,all right, real quick, I want
to talk about something with you guys, and I hope that you guys are
okay with this. But you guysgot through a very traumatic time in your
lives. And that was Leah's health. And would you guys share with our
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listeners a little bit about what youguys went through a couple of years you
want, Dennis, why will youcry again, Leah? No, I
won't cry. No, it's funnyyou'll cry with the Max thing, but
you won't cry about the fact.No, I never cried when I found
out I had how she survived that. I think that really, So Dennis,
tell everybody about you know, aboutwhen it was, how many years
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ago it was, and what youfound out about. How long is the
podcast? You can go as longas we want. So this was right
COVID had started. We're in yearone of COVID. It's the World Series,
time of the year, and welove the Los Angeles Dodgers and who
are probably gonna get Otani by theway, so we love the Dodgers.
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We love baseball. And then rightaround the playoff time and by the way,
if I get this wrong, whichI'm confident I will, Leo will
correct us. There is an addendumat the end of my speech. She
just started to have some bad pain, like stomach pain, back pain,
where I thought, well, shehas a slip disc or she's got an
ulcer or something like that. AndI mean, kind of long story short,
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we went through. She was inUtah with some friends. You know,
I know we weren't supposed to travelduring COVID, but she did and
Max was there, and Max,I think, is one who he called
me or and said something like,I think Mom's going to go to the
er because she's in such pain,which Leo won't go to the er if
she's severed her finger at all.Yeah, So the fact I heard that,
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I went, what the heck?So comes home and she uh goes
to the er and they say,you have a bladder infection or something ridiculous
that you come home and I go, that's I mean, that's not there's
no way that way, that's yeah, And we end up getting our doctor.
He goes go get a CT scan, comes home, comes home,
and we had we knew the girlwho had the disc, and we were
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trying to, you know, goin and see the doctor calls us within
an hour or so of her gettingthe c T scan and it's on speakerphone
at home and he goes, Ihate saying this. You know, I
haven't done anything, but you havetumors. It looks like all over your
pancreas and some spots you know,could be elsewhere you need to go see
a doctor tomorrow. Uh. Sothat I think is the one time I
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almost passed out, like literally almostpassed out because I was like, because
we all know anything pancreatic cancer,ish, it's usually a no bueno.
So uh and then I have tobe thankful to first of all God above
and just think full too. Alot of friends I had because I wrote
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emails to a few doctor friends thatI had just said, Hey, this
is I don't know what to do. And I wrote a long email at
like ten o'clock at night and allof them wrote me emails back by the
next morning, thoughtful, drawn out, and then we started kind of a
journey of let's go find a gooddoctor, let's what are we going to
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do? What was it that whatshe was diagnosed with? So she was
diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.Wow, and uh at the age of
forty seven, I had just turnedforty seven. Wow, just turned forty
And the reason he brings up theDodgers is because I found out the day
they won the won the World Seriesin quotes, right, which you know
we yeah, and we love theDodgers. I mean, so it was
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such a I mean, there's ajoyous time in your guys life, your
season ticket holders. Lee as abig, bigger Dodger fan than anybody I
know. My friends will call andgo, can Leah go to the game
tonight? Yeah? Yeah, so, I mean that was We had friends
writing us going, man, aren'tyou finally made it? And like I
remember thinking I could, I couldgive a shit. This is the worst
day of my life life. ButI will say this pretty much from day
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one. And let me say,that's very hard, very hard to talk
to your boys about that. Andyou know, I think they were you
know, they're old enough to understand, but young enough to be naive enough
to go, Okay, well,mom will just win. She will beat
this. And I had one persontell me that, you know that she
wouldn't be here at Christmas. Andthis is end of October. There was
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a doctor that told you, thatdoctor that told me that, but Leah
refused to hear anything. Leah didnot want to hear that. She put
her hand up in one of me. We know that downside. Yeah,
I said, don't give me atimeline. I don't want to know a
timeline with a bubble overhead that saidasshole, because I mean, who says
that. Well, you don't wantthat cloud over your head all the time
saying you know, well, thisis only going to be a six month's
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journey and then I won't be hereanymore. So I didn't want to know,
because yes, they know, butthey also don't know. Yeah,
they do. They assume because theirmom is I mean, and I have
believed it, but I believe evenmore now she really is a superhero.
Wow, she's our miracle. Yousaid that, and you're almost gonna cry.
Cry. So I'm surprised Dennis hasn'tcried. Yeah, so Leiah is
(22:12):
our Leah is our walking miracle.For sure. It's wild. I think
that people sometimes go, she didn'thave cancer, like said, She never
looked like a cancer patient. Youdidn't lose all of your hair when you
lost half of Yeah you lost some, but not all like which. And
she did not look like a typicalquote unquote cancer patient. And I remember
(22:36):
Colleen Dennis and saying, well,first of all, when Leah told us,
it was literally through a text,texting me and another one of our
best friends, Hey just want tolet you know I was diagnosed with stage
four pancreatic cancer. But I'm gonnabeat this. I'm gonna be fine.
I probably have that text fill stavesomewhere, and and then Tanya and I
are on the side texting each other. Oh my god, Oh my god,
(22:56):
Oh my god. Tina's like,this is not good. Do not
google it, do not google it. It was just it was. And
I remember calling Dennis around Christmas timesaying, Okay, please just tell me
should I fly out? And againit was COVID, so you didn't want
to travel so like I could comein and see her with all of her
chemo. But I just said,okay, if this God forbid, I
(23:18):
want to see her. I wantto lay my eyes on her one more
time. So even if I justfly there to wave at her through the
window, like I'm I'm not gonnanot see her. And you were just
you were a pillar of strength,and like you never you would say,
you know, I'm worried, butI'm not worried. Like she's got it.
She's got it. So I thought, okay, they're both so strong
(23:41):
about this. Leo asked you thisquestion first, so and I ask you
the same question, Dennis, Whatwas it that made you say to yourself,
I will not hear the worst partof this, probably because I already
knew because of all the celebrities whohad passed from pancrettic cancer, you know,
(24:03):
especially Alex Trebek had just passed awayfrom it, so I already knew
it was a death sentence. ButI also knew I just turned forty seven,
and to me, this was anold man cancer, so I was
going to beat it no matter what. And I had three kids and they
were all at home. So soyou were thinking to yourself the whole time,
I'm living for Bradley, Charlie andMax, and every day was that
(24:30):
you're would you say something to yourselevery day? Because I remember going through
cancer years ago, you know withmy mom, I would say the same
prayer every day. That was mything that got me through it. Was
there something that got you every daythat you had to do? I don't
you know. I have, honestlytrauma blocked a lot of things, Okay,
(24:51):
I mean just having my kids thereevery day, coming in and talking
to me, you know, afterchemo, and they'd sit on the bed
at the edge of the bed,or you know, my oldest one showed
me how to smoke pot so Iwouldn't be nauseous, you know, just
just having everyone around me just keptme going. Yeah, you know.
But also also because of your mom, did that make you fine? Well?
(25:12):
Maybe maybe explain that my mom diedof she had lung cancer, never
smoked, but she died on herfifty eighth birthday. And in my mind,
I'm like, I'm not dying tenyears before my mom died and she
was young, and within within sixwithin six months. Yeah, so diagnosis
yeah, no, I think definitely. And you know, the chemo,
(25:33):
trust me, it was rough.It was, you know, three days
worth a chemo. The first daywas a good ten hours, you know,
at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills,and it was an hour drive to
get there. First. It wasjust a very long three days, and
I'd go home with a pomp inmy chest for forty six hours and then
have to go back to Cedars tohave them take it out. So it
(25:55):
was just it was three hard daysand then you feel like garbage for another
or you know, five, soyou just feel horrible, but your mind
has to keep you in it andyou end up not feeling as bad as
you probably should be because your mindis very very powerful, and you never
felt sorry for yourself. You neverlike she has friends that have had you
(26:19):
talk to people that get diagnosed withthis. Correct, You've had one friend
that did not survive well, right, and we actually we have a few
friends right from growing up. Thejanitor that worked at our church. Yeah.
No, I've been referred to atleast ten or twelve people who have
gone through this, and you know, I walk them through what to expect,
(26:42):
but give them encouragement. Do youfeel that some people who then feel
sorry for themselves it lends them orthey get wrapped up in the fear of
it and that and I think thatis made a huge difference for you.
You did not allow yourself to gothere. You weren't going to No.
I think what I found with talkingto people who now have this, it's
(27:03):
definitely their family members who are veryfearful and are almost passing that fear onto
the patient. And that's the scarypart. My family never did that.
It was even Max said, it'smom. She's going to beat it like
it's my mom and she's tough.So I think my whole family was like,
I mean, my sister Emily cameto see me right away and she
(27:25):
just cried the whole time. Andyou did say, You're like, you're
not going to come in during yourstay. We had to nurture and take
care of her. Dennis, canwe make a cast role? And Dennis,
tell me what was your thing thatyou did every day to get you
through that? Well, I meana couple of different things, I would
(27:47):
say. So, look, Ihave a firm faith in God. And
by the way, I don't believeGod just heals you because you prayed to,
hey, please heal my wife.But I prayed for, you know,
God to really say on my heartand just to make sense to me,
and to be there for my boysand to be there together. So
I do think God answers prayers,but just not always the way we want
to. And I think Lee isa walking miracle because He's got a bigger
(28:11):
plan for her. So that wasnumber one. And I think I just
thought of my three boys all thetime, all the time. And I
will tell you what, out ofthis horrible turn of events, I felt
strangely very blessed of the circumstance.I did not feel I was upset that
(28:34):
she had pancreatic cancer. I kindof felt like, why I can't This
sounds dumb, but I would haverather had it because I feel like I'm
such a worse person, like she'sso wonderful, and I'm like, man,
I've done so many things in mylife. I mean, I've you
know, and I'm like, Iprobably deserve this more than she does.
So that was frustrating, but youknow, we had I was blessed,
(28:55):
I think because and I hated COVID. Let's not go down that road.
But had it been for COVID,we would not have all been together.
We would not have seen her everyday. One person would have been at
college, you know, we don'tknow, you know, Bradley would have
been maybe an Arizona or somewhere else. But I would have been at work
every day. I mean, shemay not have even gone to the doctor
when she did, if it wasjust me going to work like normal every
(29:18):
day. But it just we happenedto all be there and it was like
we could all rally around her.And then you know, we were blessed
by a lot of really good friendsthat happened to help guide and direct us
and tell us who to talk towhen she would go get her chemo every
uh, you know, every monthfor that three day? Was it every
month? I mean you went forthree two weeks, every two weeks.
I'm sorry, I've trauma blocked manyof us. No, but I mean,
(29:42):
what, here's what another incredible thing. So again I will say this,
I'm not saying it's incredible to getping grade of cancer. I would
have I'd forego all of this.But I know that, you know,
you don't think you could love someonemore and then you do. But when
we would go to the hospital,one of her really good friends happened to
(30:06):
be her oncology nurse, and that'sjust it was random and like, she
goes, I'm gonna get you yourroom. We're you at Dennis at desk,
like and I would just sit inthere and do something with her.
And in case my job ever hearsthis, I had my computer open,
but I didn't work at all.I would sleep half the time in the
place time and I would go talkto all the nurses. I would talk.
(30:30):
I literally would go talk. Doyou probably know the janitor by the
job, I knew everybody would makefun of our doctor. I mean,
but did you write them letters?I did. Not only did we write
them all notes, but every singleperson that helped them. Dennis is the
most amazing letter. Yes, butwe would write to everybody. I mean,
I love this, but but Itell you, Cedar Sign, I'll
put a plug in for them.They were wonderful. They had someone come
(30:52):
sit with me all the time,and I'm always like, man, these
people are so nice. And sowhen you look when you look at Leah
knowing what you went through and knowingall the years you've been together, and
listen, you know, we're allblessed that we're still married. Right.
We see a lot of our friendsthat are jeez, yeah, what what
do you see in her? Knowingthat she went through this, I see
(31:15):
the eye of the tie was oncue. Uh. Well, I see
someone that's, you know, incrediblystrong and tough like I. Just like
she had mentioned that, Max saidhe goes, well, it's mom like
he never worried. He just saidhe goes. I know if Mom ever
looked upset, I would worry.But if she didn't look that's how I
(31:37):
look at her like, I justknow that she's my road dog. She's
got my back all the time.Like, I'm not e her worried.
I wish she was nicer sometimes orsays things more gently. Can I tie
this all together a little bit,though, because here we are. We
started this thing off, and wetalked about our kids, and you talked
about Max, and you you're you'reworried about him. Yeah, what an
(32:01):
example he had. Oh my gosh, if he's ever if you're ever worried,
if Max can get through this andfigure himself out. In college,
he watched you get through something.And Max is going to be fine because
Max is He's got the examples ofboth of you, guys. I mean,
Leah is so much tougher. Ilook at all the things she's been
(32:22):
throughund I'm like, I mean Iwould have said uncle at the beginning.
I mean, the thing she hadto do, she had to get a
port in her chest that I waslike, it's a hole into your body,
I mean, and she would justgo in and take it and come
back home. And the chemo thelast day, she had to sleep with
this like nuclear yeah stuff. Imean, I have to admit for a
(32:44):
moment I said, well, I'mtechnically sleeping next to that nuclear too,
But it's but it is interesting,Leah, because I didn't know. I
didn't see you through go through yourcancer and see what you would well,
because you were having open heart surgery. No, but I got issue,
but not at the same time.But I think that it's so funny that
we don't worry so much about ourselvesas much as we worry about our children.
(33:07):
Well, I think that's what itis. When you're a parent,
you put your children first, well, your spouses and your children. Honestly,
do both of you guys put usfirst. There's no way I understand
this. This is definitely part ofthe vows of in sickness and in health.
And you know, you hope thissickness comes when you're eighty, not
(33:27):
when you're in your forties. Didyou realize what kind of guy you had
and when you had Dennis there withyou? Oh a thousand percent. Yeah,
as much as he irritates the fuckout of you right now, he's
he's a very He is a verygood caregiver for sure, and I would
not have been as good of acaregiver for him. I'm worried about what.
I don't believe that what are youworried about? Well? He does
(33:50):
well, remember things now, Soif it ever gets to be really a
problem, she's gonna yell you listen. He just don't hear. He does
really well with bodily fluids coming outof both ends, like he has no
problem cleaning it up, And Idon't think I could do that for him.
I'm sure Dennis deals with badly fluid. Chelsea, you said you had
(34:10):
a question to ask before we endour podcast. No, well that has
something to do with anything. Iwas just thinking nothing to do with anything
of all, Yes, he though. So when we were having lunch,
I thought, because people seem tolike when we ask questions and answer them
about each other, so I thoughtthis, this could be a fun question
for the four of us. Okay, So, and maybe it's not fun
(34:35):
at all. Maybe I just thoughtit was really funny when it was,
or fun when I was sitting inthe restaurant. But if you had to
you're you're in a restaurant and yourspouse, so you are you know,
not were there by ourselves? Right? We have to order that other question
at this new restaurant that you've neverbeen to before, because kind of today
it was a new restaurant that we'venever been to. But you know,
really good breakfast, hearty food.And I'm thinking to myse, oh gosh,
(35:00):
there are so many different things thatthat that guy was recommending, and
so many things that sounded really good. If I had to blindly order for
you right without even yeah, oryou had to blindly order for me off
of knowin would I like? Andit cannot be what we ordered today,
by the way, would we beable to order it? And I was
going to fall back on that one. It cannot be what we ordered?
(35:22):
What would we order for each other? Yeah? Like, would you know?
Would you know my favorite meal?Well, we had breakfast, so
I did know that you love biscuitsand gravy, so you usually that's a
go to, and you love eggsbenedegg that you don't really try much other
shit, right, No, Ido. But but you did say to
me, hey, did you saythey got a great commelet? Because usually
(35:43):
that's what I orders, a greatcoalmelet. But I didn't choose a great
commelet, right, so no,so I probably would have failed because I
would have ordered the Greek comints.Honestly, I think I got you for
food because you're very consistent and whatyou what you eat okay, okay,
so you know her breakfast order.What would be her dinner order? Chelsea's
dinner order is a filet, usuallymedium, with uh some double vegetable.
(36:07):
She does like a double broccoli orsomething like that. Am I right?
Or spinach? Yes? Yeah?Okay, yes, yes, yes,
yes, see I know her okay, but I knew that too. What
would you what would you order forme? For breakfast? It would have
to be some gluten free it wouldbe gluten. You'd give me gluten.
I would give you glut a biggluten filled waffle. No, for breakfast,
(36:31):
you always like some kind of egg, whether it's omelet or typically it's
an olmelet filled with that with veggies. I was shocked because they did have
that one that I thought you wouldhave liked today as I pointed it out
to you in my dinner. Whatwould my dinner be? So either of
the right side of the menu andthe left side of the either a big
steak or sometimes you do do fish. Yeah, I mean it would be
(36:53):
hard to I don't know, becauseI was thinking, I'm like, gosh,
I probably sometimes I don't know whatyou would do because sometimes surprise me.
Yeah, are you guys usually prettydead on with what you guys order,
and well, it's the easiest,there's really She could say anything and
I would just get that probably,well, yeah he does eat Dennis is
like a cheeseburger kind of guy.Yeah, cheeseburger or spaghetti and meatballs.
(37:20):
And then what about for Leah?What was Leah? You know? That
would be tough. I would justsay, like a fridagg at home that's
well done or well done, scrambledeggs, maybe a diced up yeah,
some it's gotta be some protein inthere if you get it. It has
to be sugar free for her coffee. But the thing is is when I
(37:43):
go to a restaurant because I cookat home, I want to eat something
that I'm not going to cook myself. Yeah, so that's sometimes I try
to go that way, like I'llgo scallops or you know, a fish
because I don't want my house tosmell. I'm pretty selfish when it gets
right down to it, because Ikind of would go, why don't we
get you this? And then shesays I don't like it. I go,
well, I'll just just slide thatover. I hope that Chelsea never
(38:05):
eats all of her food. Ilike sit there and pray the whole time.
I'm like, please don't eat itall so I can have it.
I don't care. I'll eat it. I'll sneak it if I have to.
Chelsea, what did you hear?You got this chance to sit next
to one of your oldest friends ofall time, like you guys have been
friends forever, and somebody that youguys and I think about. I cried
when we dropped Luke and Max offat school because I cried not so much
(38:30):
for Luke, but I literally think, what it is so amazing that Leah,
you were able to bring and dropMax off because stage four pancreatic cancer
is no joke. And your hairand that healthy, She's super healthy,
and you're in You are such agreat mom. And I could not imagine
(38:53):
what it would have been like forDennis to have to do that by himself.
And I think Dennis would have donea great job, don't get me
wrong, but you wouldn't. Itwould not have been the same from acts,
no I was. That was alot of my internal panic that I
didn't trauma block. But I remembergetting stuff out going Holy shit, I
(39:15):
don't actually know where have our kidsapplied to college like I would have?
I was. I didn't know,but I couldn't. Even You and I
talked about this, I guess,I go, I don't. I couldn't
have done it. It is andI don't think our kids take it for
granted, but maybe a little bitthey do, because I'm like, man,
do you talk about it with themat all? Or no? No,
it doesn't even come up. Ithink I told them because I don't
tell them, Michael, you we'relooking to at Mommy. Yeah. I
(39:37):
mean I don't like to talk aboutit because I just don't want it to
be like who I am. Iknow it's part of my story, but
that's not identified it as that.But I think, do you think that
the boys are I know that theyforgot, they forgot already because I but
I just wonder if the boys arecloser and appreciate you a little bit more
(39:58):
because they could have almost lost too. Even though you guys did a good
job of not saying, well,we were honest with when we had guy
talk and said yes, well Iremember talking to you that one time at
Christmas too, And you're like,I'm like, do I tell Max go
to the game or stay home becausethis could be your mom's last Christmas.
Like I remember thinking, oh mygod, like how how do you even
process that? So but I wondertoo if they have an appreciation where our
(40:23):
kids are like, eugh, she'sstill you knows, you know, like
I, or they take it forgranted. They haven't almost lost me.
They've almost lost their dad, youknow, so they've experienced that with their
dad. But for me, I'mhere and that's hard unless you think our
kids are so blessed. And Ido know that they are appreciative that they
(40:46):
have their moms. Yeah, althoughtheir dads would have gotten them the best
merch possible in the bookstore, wewould have cared they would have. They
wouldn't even have a refrigerator in theirroom, but they would have like the
merchant stuff like that. I willsay I think the boys sometimes so we
uh not that I want to hugup more time, but I am.
I will say that I've talked tohim because there are moments where uh,
(41:08):
Leah can she can be frustrating tous because she's a private investigator. She
knows everything. She knows where youare, what you're doing, stuff like
that, and we didn't. Wehad one. We've we've had a great
trip this summer. We had oneafternoon, we didn't have a great time
in Paris. And I remember Maxand I coming back and I told Max,
I said, you're right, whatis wrong with me? But I
(41:30):
said, uh, I said,I am so angry right now. But
I sat down, I said,but aren't we lucky that we can be
angry at mom right now? Likeso, and he's like, I think
he gave me a hug. Hegoes, oh, I got your back,
Dad, Like I know. Butbut it was one of those things
that I'm thankful even when I'm madat her, I'm like, okay,
(41:52):
you know what, I get tobe mad at her today. I get
to be frustrated instead of just wishingthat she was just here. So,
yeah, that's awesome. I'd liketo sing a song. I would,
but but I'd also like to likeLeah did not want to do this podcast,
And I'm thankful Leah that you youdid this and that you had the
(42:14):
strength to do this and to talkabout your fears with you know, going
to the kid you know, kidsgoing to school and stuff, but then
also share with us you're you're havea choice. You made her do it.
Were we going to talk about ourlove life? Though? Now I'm
the late night podcast? By theway, that's that. That would be
the shortest podcast that I've ever hadoff to commercial. Yes, all right,
(42:37):
that does it for this week.Thank you guys for joining us.
We appreciate it. We love youtoo so much. Uh and uh,
Leah's our biggest podcast. Yeah,she tells me when when Zach screws up
the loading process of it, something'swrong with the podcast, Zach. Leah
says, something wrong with the podcast. All right, thanks for listening to
(43:00):
this edition of the Weed Don't Podcast.
Welcome to the Weed owned podcast starringhusband and wife Mojo from Mojo in the
Morning and his better half Chelsea onthis episode. On this episode of the
(00:23):
weedone podcast, we are coming backfrom parents weekend, and we actually brought
some parents with us. We did. We got a special guest that's going
to be in here, actually gueststwo that are going to be in here,
and we're going to talk about arecap of our parents weekend and some
very interesting people that know us alltoo well. You're best friends. We
will begin the podcast now, pleasewell, all right, all right,
(00:46):
all right, without further delay,here are Mojo and Chelsea. All right,
this is kind of cool. Sowe're back from parents' weekend, and
Chelsea, would you like to introduceour we don't audience to the people that
(01:07):
are with us, our guests orwe don't guess yes, So my best
friend from second grade, Leah andher husband Dennis. Yes, you've heard
us talk about them before. SoDennis and Leah are interesting because you guys
are best friends since the second grade. But they're also interesting in the fact
that we kind of mirror each other. Where we have three boys, they
(01:32):
have three boys virtually pretty much thesame age, give or take a couple
of years, except Max and Lukeare within two weeks of each other.
Yeah, the babies are the same. So Leah, you did who decided
they were gonna have babies at thesame time? You or Chelsea. I'm
just kidding. I'm just both.I think we're surprised. A yeah,
(01:52):
how are you? No? Ithink Chelsea Luke was a surprise Max.
Okay, yeah, it was asurprise for Dennis. Wait is it weird
for you guys? Do you guysknow? Do you guys talk about the
fact that you guys have been friendssince the second grade? You guys were,
you know, best buddies, Yourmoms were best buddies, And how
weird is it that your kids arethe same age and going to school together
(02:14):
and all this. I mean thatI think it is funny because I don't
think yet we ever would have imaginedgrowing up that this is where we would
be. No, absolutely not,Yeah, but it's so fun it's Yeah.
Is it wild for you guys to, uh, to see that your
boys kind of grow up with thedisciplinarians that you guys were. Were you
(02:37):
guys always like you are? Rightnow? Because both of you guys are
some really tough bitches. I justwant you to know that. Well,
Lee, it's tougher than me,but yeah, I would say you want
I am, but less tough onthe third correct, Yeah, that's the
baby, extremely difficult. The husbandthe best thing actually the husbands, who
are the personalities in the in therelationship, right, Yeah, I agree,
(03:00):
there's got to be someone in thefamily that carries the troop. That's
right. Here's the interesting thing too. We just came back from parents' weekend
and so we're all wearing our MichiganState gear. And the funniest is we
go into the bookstore and we juststart buying all this stuff and our kids
aren't really wanting to buy a bunchof stuff. Like our kids are like,
can we just go back to thedorm. We don't want to deal
(03:22):
with this. Yeah. Well,Dennis is the biggest purchaser of Michigan state
gear and are for some here.Yeah, I feel like for the eight
hundred thousand dollars they make you sendthere, they should send us box loads
of Right. By the way,these guys they're not from Michigan. So
anybody that's listening to this going,oh well, that's this is obvious.
You know you send your kids toa similar school. You guys are from
(03:44):
California, right, son in California, Flifornia, Right we are. That's
why you have the accent. That'swhy I got that southern twang in my
yeah, in my voice. Sohere's an interesting thing. I want to
add recap Parents' weekend and see ifit was everything that you guys wanted it
to be. Was everybody happy withParents' Weekend? Because I thought that there
were some really fun times and thenI thought it's sad. You know,
(04:05):
it kind of sucks to leave yourkids. I don't know why I get
depressed when we pull away. Ithought it was a lot of fun.
We had a lot of fun.For sure. The game was fun,
it was perfect weather, The barswere fun after with the kids, yea.
And the first dinner not so good, but the second meal was good.
(04:27):
Yeah. Yeah, I would sayoverall it was a lot of fun.
Is it tougher for you guys knowingthat you're taping this podcast with us
on Sunday and Monday? You guysare getting on an airplane and you're flying
how many miles away is Los Angelesfrom it's about I think it's twe seventy
four months. That was actually aquestion at the Charger game last week on
(04:47):
the American Airlines, Like really thatwas that was one of the questions,
and Leo goes, I'll get thiscorrect. Nineteen seventy four according to Delta,
what is so? What is it? Is it tough for you guys
to be that far away from yourchild's because the furthest that we'd sent a
child the way to school was youknow, four hour drive away in Chicago.
(05:10):
Oh, it's incredibly hard because thefurthest we've sent away was well,
Arizona, but then forty five minutesaway the second one went. But this
one is the farthest. But honestly, I don't think he would be going
here if you guys didn't live here, really, yeah, because you would
have stick. I would have beentoo scared, I think, yeah,
because it would not he did.He wouldn't have his he wouldn't have his
(05:32):
Michigan family here. Yeah, itdoesn't. Clearly I have no say in
this, so I guess that wouldhave happened. Then, as you do
not have anything, tell me,uh, Leah, well, what it
was like for you to say goodbyeto him this go around, because the
last go around that you said goodbyewas when you dropped him off and you
know, well, no, youhave been here one last time besides this,
(05:56):
but that time you knew you werecoming back. Now you know the
next time you're coming back is whatChristmas to bring him back? Yeah,
this time must Well. When Icame out in September for Chelsea's birthday and
we saw the boys, I feltgood leaving him because I was still excited
for him. It was still newand he was having a good time.
This time was much harder because hehad a lot more to tell us about
(06:19):
his struggles with being in college,first semester away from home, So this
time was very hard. Yeah,are you tearing up right now? Maybe
is the you know much at thebig DAILYA doesn't cry about this. Cry?
Yeah, I didn't cry. Iwonder about this and we're all in
(06:42):
the same boat. But I alwayswonder about this, like did our parents
think the same thing about us whenwe left? Because I think of how
much we protect our kids and wedon't want them to hurt, and when
they are hurt, you know,we try to build them back up and
reassure them. And I sit thereand I think, fuck, I was
really hurt a lot when I wasa kid. I don't remember my dad
ever. My dad was like,you know, having a cocktail or something.
(07:04):
You know, Well, we haveFaceTime, We have all these things
today, so it is easier tostay connected. Yeah, with our kids.
But I think you're right, like, if we were going through any
personal trauma, yeah, they probablyhad no idea. Yeah. Now that's
that's that's difficult. So Chelsea,can you reassure Leah that the Michigan mom
(07:26):
will be okay? We'll be thereto be for She knows that I am
there and if they need anything,I'm and I'm always like, okay,
did you guys want some water?Do you need a jacket? You want
to go up there? Yes?I do all the time. I just
want to see them and we do. We see them as much. But
also I want to give them theirspace to enjoy college. But also yeah,
no, we're there. I'm therewhenever they need me for sure.
(07:48):
Yeah. What Dennis, how howdo you feel? Are you as emotional
as Leah is right now? Whenyou see Leah being She's only seen cry
three times in my life and we'vebeen married for twenty five years. Is
there lead on is this is?Is this an intervention? Actually? Are
(08:11):
we recording anything? What is itthat that makes you so emotional? Is
it the fact that you're not thereto conry about him? Are you what
do you worry about? Where wasthis this morning? I was the one
getting well. I was trying tocomfort you this morning if you were upset
about it, I was very well. He's just you know, from California,
(08:31):
and he has a very small groupof friends right now, and you
know, he just he has tomake the effort to go out and meet
people, meet people. And he'san introvert like me, so it's very
hard for him. But you know, we tried to encourage him last night
and today. Yeah, it's justbut you can tell he's sad. Is
(08:52):
he going to hear this? Idon't want to. No, No,
nobody listens to this. But butwhat did he listen to a podcast that
we're we don't pay for us?Yeah? No, I mean, look,
it breaks your heart when he toldme he goes. I just you
know, I think I do needto make some more friends, like he
needs a bigger circle. And andMax is Max is such a fantastic kid.
(09:18):
And he uh, he's wonderful aroundyou know, my friends. He's
gone on. He's an old soall my buddies love him. He loves
going to games. He's great withadults and stuff. But unlike me,
you know, he's not gonna hecould you know, I could go to
a funeral in Afghanistan and come outwith thirty friends, right, And he
doesn't want to put himself out there. He kind of waits for things to
(09:39):
happen. But he's a great friend. I tell you what, if you
get Max as a friend, yougot a friend for life, for life.
The thing about Max two and thisis just to give everybody an idea
of who Max is. Max isnot a typical eighteen year old kid that
wants to go and party like he'slike even when we said, hey,
let's go off to the bart,we were trying to encourage him to go
out. Actually, he tried toencourage him to go out and use his
(10:01):
fake ID and it got taken awayso he couldn't even use the goddamn thing
front of parents. And we werelike mortified that we had his ID taken
from him. Yeah, it feltbad, but he's not. He doesn't
need that, like he doesn't needAnd I think that one of the things
that I realized because I've spent alot of time with Max too, when
(10:22):
he's come to our house and hungwith us, and I'm like, I
don't look at Max as like myfriend's kid. I look at Max's kind
of my friend. He's such agreat kid. And I don't think that
Max is the type of guy thatneeds to have guys going out drinking.
And I don't think he wants to. He doesn't tend to seem like he
wants to do that, but hedoes. I can tell that he's These
(10:46):
kids need to get all the partyshit out of their system. And from
what I hear, because our othertwo did not go to a traditional like
university like this. From what Ihear, well, Jacob did a little
bit more than Joe, for sure, But it takes the first few months
to get that out of everybody's systemand then everybody kind of does their thing
after that. But Lea, doyou worry that Max is not having fun?
(11:07):
Like, do you worry that he'snot enjoying school or that he like,
does it worry you about him beingat Michigan State right now that this
maybe he thought he took chose thewrong place, Like if he was at
a California school, would he havemore friends and stuff. That's that's a
good question. Dennis and I weretalking about that this morning before we left
East Lansing. You know, maybethis wasn't the right school for him,
(11:30):
it was too big. He wouldhave done better at a smaller school.
But you know, we can't questionthat. Now. He's where he is
and he'll make the best of it. He'll be fine. It's just you
know, you worry. Yeah,we're two and a half months in,
so let's take a deep breath.Yeah, and by the way, he's
doing fine now. I think aswe're not helicopter parents and and Tom,
(11:52):
like you said earlier, like whenour parents left us at college, they
were like, we'll see you,you know, at the end of the
year, right Christmas. So wejust you know, as the world we
live in and how engaged we are, so we can tell, like if
he left the game earlier, Sowe probably overworry. And we do worry
that he's said or doesn't have friends. But I think probably in life you
find there's a lot and I toldMax the other night, So you know
(12:15):
what, there's a million kids likeyou right now that are just trying to
find their way, find their friends. But I go, you really gotta,
you know, just hold your values. Told strong because Max is a
great relationship guy, Like if likewe were just talking, if you're friends
with him, He's a solid dudethat stuff with you. So and can
I tell you this that I thinkyou know that you talk about the idea
(12:39):
would he have been different if youwent to a smaller school. Maybe this
isn't it him. I've seen himin action, like I could not imagine
myself as a one person going tostand in the long ass line to go
into the student section at a footballgame. And I actually when I went
up for the Michigan Michigan State game, Max drove back with me and I
(13:00):
said to him, Hey, doyou want to sit with us? He
was like, no, I wantto sit in the student section. Like
he chose to do that. AndI had asked him who he was going
to the game with, and hewas going with, you know, some
of his his roommates. And I'mthinking to myself, I had much better
seats, Like I had good seatsto go to the Michigan wasn't there.
Well, no, but I'm thinkinglike and I'm and and I'm mojo,
like I'm mode like I don't knowif you know this, but no,
(13:22):
but but no, but I lookand I look at how how good he
was at you know, this iswhat he wanted to do. Secondly,
we had the opposite with Luke,like Luke doesn't want to be with us
at all, like Maximiz's like Ienvy you guys, And I look at
Lucas is pledging a fraternity and he'sreally all about that and he's doing that.
(13:43):
He has to be about that rightnow. His life literally is being
there a little bit for lack ofterms, like he literally is running all
of their errands doing he's not sleepingif he's you know, they party.
So his life really truly right nowthis semester unfortunately or you know, he's
choosing it. So it's all aboutthat right now. But I but Chelsea,
I look at what Dennis and Leeare going through and I actually I
(14:07):
know I envy them them for Maxwell, and I'm irritated that Luke isn't
spending more time with Max. Quitefrankly, by the way. Yeah,
I love hanging out with Luke andI probably should have gone out with Luke.
I mean, be honest with you, Max, you want to go
back to bed, but but canI be Can I be quite quite honest?
You don't have to worry if Maxisn't going out a bunch because you
(14:31):
know he's he's safe. He's inhis dorm where I worry about Luke.
And you know, this is anew side to Luke. We've like never
seen the size of Luke before.But that whatever, this is college.
I'm trying to let him. Butisn't it interesting that it's two kids that
are totally they're the same age,but they're so different. But they really
aren't. Though as a thing,they are very similar. Like it's very
(14:52):
funny. We took a trip withthem over the summer. Yeah, and
they are very similar to each other. It's just just so happens that Luke
went a different avenue at the beginningof school. And you know, I
thought it was I thought it wasactually cool to see Luke encouraging, telling
he loves being with Max, likewhenever, whenever they're together, like he
(15:15):
but it then he goes off andthen he's doing this stuff for the fraternity,
which drives me crazy because I wouldlove if Max was a part of
that. But Max dident' but hewas encouraging of Max. Yes, yeah,
he wants Max to he wants Maxto rush. So and I'd love
to hear people listening to this andask you that if you've been through this
with your kids, because this doesn'tmake a difference what your kids ages.
(15:39):
It could be as young as LittleLeague and being on teams or being part
of groups at school. You alwaysyou never forget when your kids came home
and they either told you they madea new friend or they told you that
somebody shunned them, right, Andthe feeling that you would have, you
know what I mean, like theemotional feeling because you were you put yourself
back into that when you were akid. Think about Chelsea and Leah when
(16:02):
they were you know. Uh,yeah, you guys, you now are
getting paid back that elementary school gameyou guys had. Hey, there were
only seven kids in our school,basically, that's true. Yeah, your
parents were part of a cult orsomething, weren't you guys, like a
religious cultures? Talk about another episode, but can we change gears a little
bit, and I don't know ifyou're you're comfortable with this. Real quick
(16:22):
though, let me just say thisthe thing about Luke and Max. Uh
so, yeah, they went differentways a little bit this year, but
when you're together with him, youcan tell that they were just grounded in
love and they had good family.Well Max has a good mom, so
yeah, everything good from Leah.I think Luke's got a good dad.
Yeah, got great. It's Leahand I that are the strong ones.
(16:44):
I'm throwing Chelsea in there. Hey, she's my Michigan wife. I have
to call her to go. Canyou ask Leah to go to Costco?
And yeah, and by the way, I'm getting as much sex from her
as you are getting. May letme tell you twenty four to seven.
Okay, I want to switch caresa little bit. Lea's telling you to
(17:04):
shut up. This is my show, by the way, in Chelsea's show.
I just want you to know thatyou want your own podcast. You
can start it yourself. Dennis,all right, real quick, I want
to talk about something with you guys, and I hope that you guys are
okay with this. But you guysgot through a very traumatic time in your
lives. And that was Leah's health. And would you guys share with our
(17:26):
listeners a little bit about what youguys went through a couple of years you
want, Dennis, why will youcry again, Leah? No, I
won't cry. No, it's funnyyou'll cry with the Max thing, but
you won't cry about the fact.No, I never cried when I found
out I had how she survived that. I think that really, So Dennis,
tell everybody about you know, aboutwhen it was, how many years
(17:49):
ago it was, and what youfound out about. How long is the
podcast? You can go as longas we want. So this was right
COVID had started. We're in yearone of COVID. It's the World Series,
time of the year, and welove the Los Angeles Dodgers and who
are probably gonna get Otani by theway, so we love the Dodgers.
(18:10):
We love baseball. And then rightaround the playoff time and by the way,
if I get this wrong, whichI'm confident I will, Leo will
correct us. There is an addendumat the end of my speech. She
just started to have some bad pain, like stomach pain, back pain,
where I thought, well, shehas a slip disc or she's got an
ulcer or something like that. AndI mean, kind of long story short,
(18:33):
we went through. She was inUtah with some friends. You know,
I know we weren't supposed to travelduring COVID, but she did and
Max was there, and Max,I think, is one who he called
me or and said something like,I think Mom's going to go to the
er because she's in such pain,which Leo won't go to the er if
she's severed her finger at all.Yeah, So the fact I heard that,
(18:55):
I went, what the heck?So comes home and she uh goes
to the er and they say,you have a bladder infection or something ridiculous
that you come home and I go, that's I mean, that's not there's
no way that way, that's yeah, And we end up getting our doctor.
He goes go get a CT scan, comes home, comes home,
and we had we knew the girlwho had the disc, and we were
(19:18):
trying to, you know, goin and see the doctor calls us within
an hour or so of her gettingthe c T scan and it's on speakerphone
at home and he goes, Ihate saying this. You know, I
haven't done anything, but you havetumors. It looks like all over your
pancreas and some spots you know,could be elsewhere you need to go see
a doctor tomorrow. Uh. Sothat I think is the one time I
(19:40):
almost passed out, like literally almostpassed out because I was like, because
we all know anything pancreatic cancer,ish, it's usually a no bueno.
So uh and then I have tobe thankful to first of all God above
and just think full too. Alot of friends I had because I wrote
(20:00):
emails to a few doctor friends thatI had just said, Hey, this
is I don't know what to do. And I wrote a long email at
like ten o'clock at night and allof them wrote me emails back by the
next morning, thoughtful, drawn out, and then we started kind of a
journey of let's go find a gooddoctor, let's what are we going to
(20:21):
do? What was it that whatshe was diagnosed with? So she was
diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.Wow, and uh at the age of
forty seven, I had just turnedforty seven. Wow, just turned forty
And the reason he brings up theDodgers is because I found out the day
they won the won the World Seriesin quotes, right, which you know
we yeah, and we love theDodgers. I mean, so it was
(20:41):
such a I mean, there's ajoyous time in your guys life, your
season ticket holders. Lee as abig, bigger Dodger fan than anybody I
know. My friends will call andgo, can Leah go to the game
tonight? Yeah? Yeah, so, I mean that was We had friends
writing us going, man, aren'tyou finally made it? And like I
remember thinking I could, I couldgive a shit. This is the worst
day of my life life. ButI will say this pretty much from day
(21:03):
one. And let me say,that's very hard, very hard to talk
to your boys about that. Andyou know, I think they were you
know, they're old enough to understand, but young enough to be naive enough
to go, Okay, well,mom will just win. She will beat
this. And I had one persontell me that, you know that she
wouldn't be here at Christmas. Andthis is end of October. There was
(21:25):
a doctor that told you, thatdoctor that told me that, but Leah
refused to hear anything. Leah didnot want to hear that. She put
her hand up in one of me. We know that downside. Yeah,
I said, don't give me atimeline. I don't want to know a
timeline with a bubble overhead that saidasshole, because I mean, who says
that. Well, you don't wantthat cloud over your head all the time
saying you know, well, thisis only going to be a six month's
(21:47):
journey and then I won't be hereanymore. So I didn't want to know,
because yes, they know, butthey also don't know. Yeah,
they do. They assume because theirmom is I mean, and I have
believed it, but I believe evenmore now she really is a superhero.
Wow, she's our miracle. Yousaid that, and you're almost gonna cry.
Cry. So I'm surprised Dennis hasn'tcried. Yeah, so Leiah is
(22:12):
our Leah is our walking miracle.For sure. It's wild. I think
that people sometimes go, she didn'thave cancer, like said, She never
looked like a cancer patient. Youdidn't lose all of your hair when you
lost half of Yeah you lost some, but not all like which. And
she did not look like a typicalquote unquote cancer patient. And I remember
(22:36):
Colleen Dennis and saying, well,first of all, when Leah told us,
it was literally through a text,texting me and another one of our
best friends, Hey just want tolet you know I was diagnosed with stage
four pancreatic cancer. But I'm gonnabeat this. I'm gonna be fine.
I probably have that text fill stavesomewhere, and and then Tanya and I
are on the side texting each other. Oh my god, Oh my god,
(22:56):
Oh my god. Tina's like,this is not good. Do not
google it, do not google it. It was just it was. And
I remember calling Dennis around Christmas timesaying, Okay, please just tell me
should I fly out? And againit was COVID, so you didn't want
to travel so like I could comein and see her with all of her
chemo. But I just said,okay, if this God forbid, I
(23:18):
want to see her. I wantto lay my eyes on her one more
time. So even if I justfly there to wave at her through the
window, like I'm I'm not gonnanot see her. And you were just
you were a pillar of strength,and like you never you would say,
you know, I'm worried, butI'm not worried. Like she's got it.
She's got it. So I thought, okay, they're both so strong
(23:41):
about this. Leo asked you thisquestion first, so and I ask you
the same question, Dennis, Whatwas it that made you say to yourself,
I will not hear the worst partof this, probably because I already
knew because of all the celebrities whohad passed from pancrettic cancer, you know,
(24:03):
especially Alex Trebek had just passed awayfrom it, so I already knew
it was a death sentence. ButI also knew I just turned forty seven,
and to me, this was anold man cancer, so I was
going to beat it no matter what. And I had three kids and they
were all at home. So soyou were thinking to yourself the whole time,
I'm living for Bradley, Charlie andMax, and every day was that
(24:30):
you're would you say something to yourselevery day? Because I remember going through
cancer years ago, you know withmy mom, I would say the same
prayer every day. That was mything that got me through it. Was
there something that got you every daythat you had to do? I don't
you know. I have, honestlytrauma blocked a lot of things, Okay,
(24:51):
I mean just having my kids thereevery day, coming in and talking
to me, you know, afterchemo, and they'd sit on the bed
at the edge of the bed,or you know, my oldest one showed
me how to smoke pot so Iwouldn't be nauseous, you know, just
just having everyone around me just keptme going. Yeah, you know.
But also also because of your mom, did that make you fine? Well?
(25:12):
Maybe maybe explain that my mom diedof she had lung cancer, never
smoked, but she died on herfifty eighth birthday. And in my mind,
I'm like, I'm not dying tenyears before my mom died and she
was young, and within within sixwithin six months. Yeah, so diagnosis
yeah, no, I think definitely. And you know, the chemo,
(25:33):
trust me, it was rough.It was, you know, three days
worth a chemo. The first daywas a good ten hours, you know,
at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills,and it was an hour drive to
get there. First. It wasjust a very long three days, and
I'd go home with a pomp inmy chest for forty six hours and then
have to go back to Cedars tohave them take it out. So it
(25:55):
was just it was three hard daysand then you feel like garbage for another
or you know, five, soyou just feel horrible, but your mind
has to keep you in it andyou end up not feeling as bad as
you probably should be because your mindis very very powerful, and you never
felt sorry for yourself. You neverlike she has friends that have had you
(26:19):
talk to people that get diagnosed withthis. Correct, You've had one friend
that did not survive well, right, and we actually we have a few
friends right from growing up. Thejanitor that worked at our church. Yeah.
No, I've been referred to atleast ten or twelve people who have
gone through this, and you know, I walk them through what to expect,
(26:42):
but give them encouragement. Do youfeel that some people who then feel
sorry for themselves it lends them orthey get wrapped up in the fear of
it and that and I think thatis made a huge difference for you.
You did not allow yourself to gothere. You weren't going to No.
I think what I found with talkingto people who now have this, it's
(27:03):
definitely their family members who are veryfearful and are almost passing that fear onto
the patient. And that's the scarypart. My family never did that.
It was even Max said, it'smom. She's going to beat it like
it's my mom and she's tough.So I think my whole family was like,
I mean, my sister Emily cameto see me right away and she
(27:25):
just cried the whole time. Andyou did say, You're like, you're
not going to come in during yourstay. We had to nurture and take
care of her. Dennis, canwe make a cast role? And Dennis,
tell me what was your thing thatyou did every day to get you
through that? Well, I meana couple of different things, I would
(27:47):
say. So, look, Ihave a firm faith in God. And
by the way, I don't believeGod just heals you because you prayed to,
hey, please heal my wife.But I prayed for, you know,
God to really say on my heartand just to make sense to me,
and to be there for my boysand to be there together. So
I do think God answers prayers,but just not always the way we want
to. And I think Lee isa walking miracle because He's got a bigger
(28:11):
plan for her. So that wasnumber one. And I think I just
thought of my three boys all thetime, all the time. And I
will tell you what, out ofthis horrible turn of events, I felt
strangely very blessed of the circumstance.I did not feel I was upset that
(28:34):
she had pancreatic cancer. I kindof felt like, why I can't This
sounds dumb, but I would haverather had it because I feel like I'm
such a worse person, like she'sso wonderful, and I'm like, man,
I've done so many things in mylife. I mean, I've you
know, and I'm like, Iprobably deserve this more than she does.
So that was frustrating, but youknow, we had I was blessed,
(28:55):
I think because and I hated COVID. Let's not go down that road.
But had it been for COVID,we would not have all been together.
We would not have seen her everyday. One person would have been at
college, you know, we don'tknow, you know, Bradley would have
been maybe an Arizona or somewhere else. But I would have been at work
every day. I mean, shemay not have even gone to the doctor
when she did, if it wasjust me going to work like normal every
(29:18):
day. But it just we happenedto all be there and it was like
we could all rally around her.And then you know, we were blessed
by a lot of really good friendsthat happened to help guide and direct us
and tell us who to talk towhen she would go get her chemo every
uh, you know, every monthfor that three day? Was it every
month? I mean you went forthree two weeks, every two weeks.
I'm sorry, I've trauma blocked manyof us. No, but I mean,
(29:42):
what, here's what another incredible thing. So again I will say this,
I'm not saying it's incredible to getping grade of cancer. I would
have I'd forego all of this.But I know that, you know,
you don't think you could love someonemore and then you do. But when
we would go to the hospital,one of her really good friends happened to
(30:06):
be her oncology nurse, and that'sjust it was random and like, she
goes, I'm gonna get you yourroom. We're you at Dennis at desk,
like and I would just sit inthere and do something with her.
And in case my job ever hearsthis, I had my computer open,
but I didn't work at all.I would sleep half the time in the
place time and I would go talkto all the nurses. I would talk.
(30:30):
I literally would go talk. Doyou probably know the janitor by the
job, I knew everybody would makefun of our doctor. I mean,
but did you write them letters?I did. Not only did we write
them all notes, but every singleperson that helped them. Dennis is the
most amazing letter. Yes, butwe would write to everybody. I mean,
I love this, but but Itell you, Cedar Sign, I'll
put a plug in for them.They were wonderful. They had someone come
(30:52):
sit with me all the time,and I'm always like, man, these
people are so nice. And sowhen you look when you look at Leah
knowing what you went through and knowingall the years you've been together, and
listen, you know, we're allblessed that we're still married. Right.
We see a lot of our friendsthat are jeez, yeah, what what
do you see in her? Knowingthat she went through this, I see
(31:15):
the eye of the tie was oncue. Uh. Well, I see
someone that's, you know, incrediblystrong and tough like I. Just like
she had mentioned that, Max saidhe goes, well, it's mom like
he never worried. He just saidhe goes. I know if Mom ever
looked upset, I would worry.But if she didn't look that's how I
(31:37):
look at her like, I justknow that she's my road dog. She's
got my back all the time.Like, I'm not e her worried.
I wish she was nicer sometimes orsays things more gently. Can I tie
this all together a little bit,though, because here we are. We
started this thing off, and wetalked about our kids, and you talked
about Max, and you you're you'reworried about him. Yeah, what an
(32:01):
example he had. Oh my gosh, if he's ever if you're ever worried,
if Max can get through this andfigure himself out. In college,
he watched you get through something.And Max is going to be fine because
Max is He's got the examples ofboth of you, guys. I mean,
Leah is so much tougher. Ilook at all the things she's been
(32:22):
throughund I'm like, I mean Iwould have said uncle at the beginning.
I mean, the thing she hadto do, she had to get a
port in her chest that I waslike, it's a hole into your body,
I mean, and she would justgo in and take it and come
back home. And the chemo thelast day, she had to sleep with
this like nuclear yeah stuff. Imean, I have to admit for a
(32:44):
moment I said, well, I'mtechnically sleeping next to that nuclear too,
But it's but it is interesting,Leah, because I didn't know. I
didn't see you through go through yourcancer and see what you would well,
because you were having open heart surgery. No, but I got issue,
but not at the same time.But I think that it's so funny that
we don't worry so much about ourselvesas much as we worry about our children.
(33:07):
Well, I think that's what itis. When you're a parent,
you put your children first, well, your spouses and your children. Honestly,
do both of you guys put usfirst. There's no way I understand
this. This is definitely part ofthe vows of in sickness and in health.
And you know, you hope thissickness comes when you're eighty, not
(33:27):
when you're in your forties. Didyou realize what kind of guy you had
and when you had Dennis there withyou? Oh a thousand percent. Yeah,
as much as he irritates the fuckout of you right now, he's
he's a very He is a verygood caregiver for sure, and I would
not have been as good of acaregiver for him. I'm worried about what.
I don't believe that what are youworried about? Well? He does
(33:50):
well, remember things now, Soif it ever gets to be really a
problem, she's gonna yell you listen. He just don't hear. He does
really well with bodily fluids coming outof both ends, like he has no
problem cleaning it up, And Idon't think I could do that for him.
I'm sure Dennis deals with badly fluid. Chelsea, you said you had
(34:10):
a question to ask before we endour podcast. No, well that has
something to do with anything. Iwas just thinking nothing to do with anything
of all, Yes, he though. So when we were having lunch,
I thought, because people seem tolike when we ask questions and answer them
about each other, so I thoughtthis, this could be a fun question
for the four of us. Okay, So, and maybe it's not fun
(34:35):
at all. Maybe I just thoughtit was really funny when it was,
or fun when I was sitting inthe restaurant. But if you had to
you're you're in a restaurant and yourspouse, so you are you know,
not were there by ourselves? Right? We have to order that other question
at this new restaurant that you've neverbeen to before, because kind of today
it was a new restaurant that we'venever been to. But you know,
really good breakfast, hearty food.And I'm thinking to myse, oh gosh,
(35:00):
there are so many different things thatthat that guy was recommending, and
so many things that sounded really good. If I had to blindly order for
you right without even yeah, oryou had to blindly order for me off
of knowin would I like? Andit cannot be what we ordered today,
by the way, would we beable to order it? And I was
going to fall back on that one. It cannot be what we ordered?
(35:22):
What would we order for each other? Yeah? Like, would you know?
Would you know my favorite meal?Well, we had breakfast, so
I did know that you love biscuitsand gravy, so you usually that's a
go to, and you love eggsbenedegg that you don't really try much other
shit, right, No, Ido. But but you did say to
me, hey, did you saythey got a great commelet? Because usually
(35:43):
that's what I orders, a greatcoalmelet. But I didn't choose a great
commelet, right, so no,so I probably would have failed because I
would have ordered the Greek comints.Honestly, I think I got you for
food because you're very consistent and whatyou what you eat okay, okay,
so you know her breakfast order.What would be her dinner order? Chelsea's
dinner order is a filet, usuallymedium, with uh some double vegetable.
(36:07):
She does like a double broccoli orsomething like that. Am I right?
Or spinach? Yes? Yeah?Okay, yes, yes, yes,
yes, see I know her okay, but I knew that too. What
would you what would you order forme? For breakfast? It would have
to be some gluten free it wouldbe gluten. You'd give me gluten.
I would give you glut a biggluten filled waffle. No, for breakfast,
(36:31):
you always like some kind of egg, whether it's omelet or typically it's
an olmelet filled with that with veggies. I was shocked because they did have
that one that I thought you wouldhave liked today as I pointed it out
to you in my dinner. Whatwould my dinner be? So either of
the right side of the menu andthe left side of the either a big
steak or sometimes you do do fish. Yeah, I mean it would be
(36:53):
hard to I don't know, becauseI was thinking, I'm like, gosh,
I probably sometimes I don't know whatyou would do because sometimes surprise me.
Yeah, are you guys usually prettydead on with what you guys order,
and well, it's the easiest,there's really She could say anything and
I would just get that probably,well, yeah he does eat Dennis is
like a cheeseburger kind of guy.Yeah, cheeseburger or spaghetti and meatballs.
(37:20):
And then what about for Leah?What was Leah? You know? That
would be tough. I would justsay, like a fridagg at home that's
well done or well done, scrambledeggs, maybe a diced up yeah,
some it's gotta be some protein inthere if you get it. It has
to be sugar free for her coffee. But the thing is is when I
(37:43):
go to a restaurant because I cookat home, I want to eat something
that I'm not going to cook myself. Yeah, so that's sometimes I try
to go that way, like I'llgo scallops or you know, a fish
because I don't want my house tosmell. I'm pretty selfish when it gets
right down to it, because Ikind of would go, why don't we
get you this? And then shesays I don't like it. I go,
well, I'll just just slide thatover. I hope that Chelsea never
(38:05):
eats all of her food. Ilike sit there and pray the whole time.
I'm like, please don't eat itall so I can have it.
I don't care. I'll eat it. I'll sneak it if I have to.
Chelsea, what did you hear?You got this chance to sit next
to one of your oldest friends ofall time, like you guys have been
friends forever, and somebody that youguys and I think about. I cried
when we dropped Luke and Max offat school because I cried not so much
(38:30):
for Luke, but I literally think, what it is so amazing that Leah,
you were able to bring and dropMax off because stage four pancreatic cancer
is no joke. And your hairand that healthy, She's super healthy,
and you're in You are such agreat mom. And I could not imagine
(38:53):
what it would have been like forDennis to have to do that by himself.
And I think Dennis would have donea great job, don't get me
wrong, but you wouldn't. Itwould not have been the same from acts,
no I was. That was alot of my internal panic that I
didn't trauma block. But I remembergetting stuff out going Holy shit, I
(39:15):
don't actually know where have our kidsapplied to college like I would have?
I was. I didn't know,but I couldn't. Even You and I
talked about this, I guess,I go, I don't. I couldn't
have done it. It is andI don't think our kids take it for
granted, but maybe a little bitthey do, because I'm like, man,
do you talk about it with themat all? Or no? No,
it doesn't even come up. Ithink I told them because I don't
tell them, Michael, you we'relooking to at Mommy. Yeah. I
(39:37):
mean I don't like to talk aboutit because I just don't want it to
be like who I am. Iknow it's part of my story, but
that's not identified it as that.But I think, do you think that
the boys are I know that theyforgot, they forgot already because I but
I just wonder if the boys arecloser and appreciate you a little bit more
(39:58):
because they could have almost lost too. Even though you guys did a good
job of not saying, well,we were honest with when we had guy
talk and said yes, well Iremember talking to you that one time at
Christmas too, And you're like,I'm like, do I tell Max go
to the game or stay home becausethis could be your mom's last Christmas.
Like I remember thinking, oh mygod, like how how do you even
process that? So but I wondertoo if they have an appreciation where our
(40:23):
kids are like, eugh, she'sstill you knows, you know, like
I, or they take it forgranted. They haven't almost lost me.
They've almost lost their dad, youknow, so they've experienced that with their
dad. But for me, I'mhere and that's hard unless you think our
kids are so blessed. And Ido know that they are appreciative that they
(40:46):
have their moms. Yeah, althoughtheir dads would have gotten them the best
merch possible in the bookstore, wewould have cared they would have. They
wouldn't even have a refrigerator in theirroom, but they would have like the
merchant stuff like that. I willsay I think the boys sometimes so we
uh not that I want to hugup more time, but I am.
I will say that I've talked tohim because there are moments where uh,
(41:08):
Leah can she can be frustrating tous because she's a private investigator. She
knows everything. She knows where youare, what you're doing, stuff like
that, and we didn't. Wehad one. We've we've had a great
trip this summer. We had oneafternoon, we didn't have a great time
in Paris. And I remember Maxand I coming back and I told Max,
I said, you're right, whatis wrong with me? But I
(41:30):
said, uh, I said,I am so angry right now. But
I sat down, I said,but aren't we lucky that we can be
angry at mom right now? Likeso, and he's like, I think
he gave me a hug. Hegoes, oh, I got your back,
Dad, Like I know. Butbut it was one of those things
that I'm thankful even when I'm madat her, I'm like, okay,
(41:52):
you know what, I get tobe mad at her today. I get
to be frustrated instead of just wishingthat she was just here. So,
yeah, that's awesome. I'd liketo sing a song. I would,
but but I'd also like to likeLeah did not want to do this podcast,
And I'm thankful Leah that you youdid this and that you had the
(42:14):
strength to do this and to talkabout your fears with you know, going
to the kid you know, kidsgoing to school and stuff, but then
also share with us you're you're havea choice. You made her do it.
Were we going to talk about ourlove life? Though? Now I'm
the late night podcast? By theway, that's that. That would be
the shortest podcast that I've ever hadoff to commercial. Yes, all right,
(42:37):
that does it for this week.Thank you guys for joining us.
We appreciate it. We love youtoo so much. Uh and uh,
Leah's our biggest podcast. Yeah,she tells me when when Zach screws up
the loading process of it, something'swrong with the podcast, Zach. Leah
says, something wrong with the podcast. All right, thanks for listening to
(43:00):
this edition of the Weed Don't Podcast.
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