Episode Transcript
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Welcome to the We Don't Podcast starringhusband and wife Mojo from Mojo in the
Morning and his better half Chelsea.On this episode coming up on this episode
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of the weedone podcast, Chelsea andI have more guests than we've ever had
in the studio for an episode.Yes, and the cool thing is you're
gonna hear perspectives from all kinds ofdifferent people, some of your favorite members
and their moms of the Mojo inthe Morning show. Well, all right,
all right, all right, withoutfurther delay, here are Mojo and
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Chelsea. Oh this is good.So should we explain everybody's going to be
on this episode? Yes, okay, well go ahead explain. So we
were here gathering stuff together or puttingstuff together for the Breaking and Entering wishes,
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and so we have some extra specialguest today. This is amazing.
This is actually very cool that weget to talk to the people that everybody
gets to hear on the radio show. And I'll say this when we'll get
the breaking and entering part out ofthis. So our breaking enter in Christmas
wish for anybody. That's what WeDon't podcast listener is our way that we
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as a show try to get awaywith all the shit that we do during
the year, so we figure weput some good out there and then we
can actually do a lot of sexjokes and stuff. But Lydia, who
is our executive producer of the Mojoin the Morning show, she heads up
Breaking in in Christmas Wish and doeseverything, and so she sent texts out
to you, to Megan, whois a special guest here today, and
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to Lydia's mom, who is herewith us. Do you want me to
call you Lydia's mom or should Icall you by by your first name?
Either way, whatever you feel comfortable. So your name is Cyan, right,
and you're Lydia's mom. To me, I'm calling you Lydia's mom,
all right. She could make thather government name. She would anyway,
Oh, Lydia's Mom, Yeah shewould, I would. Lydia. You've
done such an amazing job with BreakingEntering Christmas Wish. Thank you and a
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lot of fun. And the effortis a community effort. But you truly
take probably about ninety percent of theof the tasks of this thing. Well,
I couldn't do it without all ofyou who's sitting in the studio.
You guys have helped me tremendously.Well, now you're going to have to
help us with talking about the podcastfun that we do here on this We
Don't podcast, Chelse. I waskind of thinking that it's interesting because I
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know that we've wanted to have everymember of the show on this podcast.
Yes, and so far we've alreadyhad Wes and Shannon on with us,
right and talked about their relationship.Yeah, but it's interesting, and she
may not think that this is true. Megan's actually been one that you've wanted
to have on I have Why whatdo you mean why I have no perspective
on this stuff? Yes, youdo. You got a big perspective.
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You know what you have. Thebiggest perspective of is your you have you
come from a parents who are divorced, a wrecked household. Well, and
that's what I want to hear about. I want to know a little bit
about that shit show. Yeah,oh my god, therapy. This is
much cheaper than therapy. Cool.But I also will tell you though,
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Megan, I think that listeners arefascinated about you, and I think really
want to see you in your relationshipflourish with whatever you decide that you're going
to do. But I think thatsome parts when I hear you talk about
relationships probably stem back from your parents'relationship. This is so Chelsey and I
were literally just talking about this reallyminutes ago. Thirty minutes ago. What
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were you talking about that? Intherapy, my therapist and I are going
through why I'm not interested in beingin relationships, and I think a lot
of it is stemmed from I've notseen very many successful relationships, at least
not people who have been together fora very long time. So for me,
I kind of guard myself from theeventual hurt that the probability of it
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coming is large, because I,yeah, I've only really seen things go
up in flames. But then Ialso think that I've become a caregiver to
a lot of people in my life, and I'm really sick of caring for
other people, and so I thinkpeople would be shocked to know that I
care for a lot of people becauseI come off as the cold hearted bitch
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of the show. Well it's anact, But I do think that I
have filled a lot of like motherlyroles or like what have like confident roles
for a lot of people in mylife, and nobody ever really fills that
role for me, So instead ofjust getting disappointed by people, it's easier
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to confident me. When you talkabout motherly Rose, we always joke that
your dad is. We wish themhappy Mother's Day, my mother's Day,
because your dad raised you singly byhimself. From what age your mom?
When did your mother go out ofthe picture? Fourteen? Wow, that's
a big time in a girl's life. Yeah. I mean, Chelsea,
you know what it's like to havea dad leave, but he left at
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such an early age when I wasthree. Yeah, I almost wonder is
what is better? I think it'seasier when the kids are younger because then
you don't remember, you don't havethose I have a couple of memories of
my dad, but I don't reallyremember, you know, so there was
nothing really to miss, you know. Yeah. No, I completely agree
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with you, especially when it comesto like divorces, when people are like,
I think we're going to work itout, Please don't. You're putting
that kid through hell. If it'sover and it's over, make it over.
Just end it for everybody, oryou're all miserable. And I think
a lot of times people think,well, the kids are happy, so
all be miserable and the kids feelwhat you're feeling. If you're miserable,
they feed off of that. Yeah, but it's hard though. Sometimes I
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think you can think it's over,but it really isn't Like if you put
because you can even a great marriage, and you say that you don't have
any good examples, but I wouldlike to know what a good I don't
think that there is a perfect marriage. No. I think that there's just
people who like try to work itout and who can stick through it,
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even through the worst of times.Because we went out with some friends last
night who I adore and love,and I if I would think that there
was a perfect couple, I wouldthink it would be them. And she
turned to me at one point she'slike, you know, sometimes I can't
even fucking stand him when he walksthrough the door, like Holly loukjah,
because I feel that way too,and I you know, I've felt that
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way for you know, very youknow, off and on for our marriage.
And it's like, Okay, that'sgood to know that that's normal.
It's normal. Yeah, not itis okay to not like the person that
you said I do to sometimes,I mean, eventually have to like them.
But you know, it's hard.It's so hard. I'm not looking
for perfection in a relationship. I'mnot looking for happiness all the time.
I totally get that. Uh,it's hard to explain my parents' marriage and
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the actual like Jess, oh,yeah, really, I lived in a
battleground. I picture your dad,and maybe I'm wrong, but I picture
and I don't know what your momat all. I've never met her and
probably don't ever want to meet herfrom what you've talked about her. I
mean, but I'll find her.But I find your dad to be unbelievably
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charming. Your dad. If Iwere to say who I think that your
dad most resembles. I feel likeI have a lot of your dad in
me. Is weird to sEH like, I know you absolutely do. I
think it's why I love and adoreyou so much. I think when you
hear fighting all the time, itwas not I don't want to dive into
this because it will create backlash inmy life. But like my dad wasn't
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yelling in the house, you know, like it was, it seems like
that that would get yelled at.Yeah, okay, So when you say
that and you try to compare yourselfto that. What are you saying,
I'm not saying exactly. No,I think you're very similar in the way
that you are very caring and youare very protective, but you're also kind
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of goofy and dismissive in the wayYeah my dad is, which I really
truly love and a total pussy.Yeah. Yeah, she's roll their eyes
at me if you can only seethis. So there's that, and I
think there's the fact that everybody whoI've had a long term relationship with,
which I think our listeners would beshocked to know that there are a few
people that I've had long term relationshipswith. When they yell at me for
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commenting on relationships, I do havesome experience. I typically turn into an
unappreciated caregiver role who's demeaned and belittledall the time, like I'm not gonna
take care of you while you aredismissive of me and my career roles.
And then also expect me to haveyou been in a relationship at all where
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you decided to end it, becauseif it wasn't, it didn't feel familiar,
meaning that it so maybe it couldhave been a good relationship, but
maybe because children who grew up inchaos gravitate towards chaos. I say,
there's one relationship I regret ending,but it needed to It absolutely needed to.
But my life would be so differentif I did it. And it
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was a guy I was going toget married too, but he wanted me
to quit my job in VSM.You were engaged, we were about to
be Wow. Yeah, okay,and you regret it, yes, and
no. I would have a muchdifferent life right now. I would probably
be way less stressed out. Yeah, I would have been taken care of.
But at the time I had reallybig aspirations and goals that I wasn't
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ready to give up yet. Iwas really young, so I was going
to be oh well for twenty onetwenty two, and he was ready to
start a feeling. He was olderthan me and had a great job and
was like, I'm ready for thisnext step in my life. But I
said, I'm not ready to joinit yet. Well, I'm going to
tell you right now out in miserablybecause you weren't ready. And even though
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you would have, you probably wouldhave had more stress than you have now
because you would have given up yourhand you'd been resentful probably, yeah,
a million. I see his lifenow and it's pretty great. You see
the outside of it. You're notin it with a lot of his family
friends. Really pretty great. He'sliving it up. But what about it?
But what about not being able tosay hey, I was able to
do I mean, this has beenan amazing year for you in regards in
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Detroit. One of your dreams hasalways been to move to a big city
and live in downtown city and stuff, and also to get a bigger role
on a radio show. And Iknow there was talk for a while into
the listeners, there was talk fora while of you know, Meghan looking
at opportunities in Chicago or outside ofthe Detroit market to go somewhere else.
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So I don't know. I firstoff, why could you not have had
the conversation with him of saying hey, or maybe because you were twenty one
or I think it was because Iwas twenty one, Because yeah, Because
I wonder if, like I wonderif that happened to you now, if
you could have said hey, waita second, no, you know,
I wonder if nowadays he would haveasked you to do something like that.
I think about this a lot,I really do, and it's my fault
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a relationship N did. It's Icalled things off, I wasn't ready whatever,
And I think I've really hurt him, and I've always felt bad about
it. He's now married, andI've run into them before and they're like,
I could not be more happy forhim. I wish nothing but ill
will to my other exes, butfor him, like I am, I'm
absolutely thrilled that he got what hewanted because he deserved it and he was
a good person. I just wasn'tready. Yeah, and I want to
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remember this. I think we romanticizedideas in our head of what could have
been. Yeah. Oh, andso you are where you're meant to be,
and you are, you know,in a better position than if you
would have been with him, becauseI am telling you you would have.
There would have been so much resentmentif you couldn't have followed through with what
you are following through with. Whetheryou believe it or not at that moment,
or even believe it right now,I'm telling you, yeah, you
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know and looking at pictures and thinking, I'm sure you know a lot of
his friends, but you know,there's a ton of shit to make everything
look really pretty. That's true.His mom also hated me, so that's
all that would have not been fun. Yeah, like set me down and
had a conversation about me not usinghis last name publicly. Yeah, so
yeah, that's a hard one.They were a pretty well known family and
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they didn't want to be associated withthe stuff I was doing. So oh
yeah, but then again, Chelseadoesn't like to be associated with the stuff
we're doing. Said them down andsay we're not using your last name anymore.
Quick quick question though, you mentionedthat to Meghan about you know,
romanticizing and all that stuff, becausehere you were. You were about that
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same age that Meghan was when thisguy had asked Megan to do what you're
doing, and I never asked youto not do anything. Like We even
talked on a prior podcast about howit was kind of your decision of Hey,
I want to be with the kids. I want to stay home with
the kids. But thinking about Meghanand this and then where you are at
right now, her life could havebeen stay at home mommish, like,
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you know, do you think thatwhat do you think? You know?
As far as advice to Megan orany thoughts on that, of not choosing
that, Like, do you say, Megan, look at what I'm going
through right now, You're so muchfucking better now you don't have to deal
with this bad ass. I dothink. I do think it is harder,
Like at the end of my whereI am right now, it definitely
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is harder because I am struggling withlike, what am I doing? You
know, who am I? Otherthan you know, three boys moms?
And then you know his wife?What am I? Who am I?
So I do struggle with that,so you but but then it's like you
flip a coin and what's you know, better heads or tails? Like I
don't know. For me, Ihindsight's twenty twenty. So I look back
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and I would have been devastated missingout on the kids that I have and
the life that I have right now. But I'm sure I could have also
lived a great life if I chosenot to get married too. So I
think it's you know, you justhave to look at the bright set on
whatever you're in. And again,I think it is so easy to romanticize,
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oh what could have been? Ithink, you know, that's why
I think a lot of marriages goa ride too, because you sit there
and you think, Okay, ifI wasn't sitting here married to this,
are we disrupting your game over there? I'm not watching the game even though
this is great. We got theLions game on in the background. Literally,
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go ahead, this is the bestpodcast time ever. We need to
tape it this time all the time. But I think you make a pretty
valid point of like there's always differentthings, because yes, I actually feel
like I have a complete sense ofwho I am and what I stand for
and like what I like, whatis me? But then when it comes
to like stupid shit like wanting togo out and do something and being like
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I've moved to a new city,don't have a ton of friends here,
I don't have a significant other,I don't have anybody to do, there
is a sense of like pretty constantloneliness. Whereas someone who's in a relationship
and has been in one for,you know, over thirty years, I'm
like, what a life. Ohmy god, that is amazing to be
alone, you know, Like,and I get that. I get that.
(15:16):
I think that it's but maybe youneed to open yourself up then and
not close yourself off and to thinkingthat every relationship is going to be horrible.
Like I think that sometimes we canset a screen or even openers.
Either you can open yourself up toa really shit relationship and attract shit people,
or you can also project and invitestuff in. Yeah. I think
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I'm not ready for a relationship before, which is fine. I am not
happy with myself. This therapy guyshappy. So do you think someone would
make you happy? No, becauseI'm too insecure to be happy right now.
Megan, But you bring so muchto the table. This is the
part that makes me really sad,because you do bring so much to the
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table, and I think you shutyourself down before you will even let anybody
in. Yeah, and it's notfair. It's not fair to you.
Yeah. Wow, this is weird. The emotionally this is I really should
pay you for this. I paya guy a lot of money to do
this and I haven't even opened upthis much to him. Ither tissue in
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here. This is going to begreat. And I'm not watching football only
because I started crying if we werejust talking about regular boys. I think
that part of the reason that I'mso not willing to date people is because
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of my job, because I havebeen so conditioned from such a young age.
I don't think people realize I've beendoing this since I was eighteen,
and like I have formed myself aroundpublic feedback and criticism. So it's tough.
(17:10):
Lor I should have done this.No, I love it. This
is crazy. I'm sure. Iread the podcast is Fun Stories, No,
and this is on it. Ion a lot of them. I
no, I do I get whatyou're saying though, because you have you
(17:32):
do get a lot of You geta lot of positive, but you also
get a ton of negative. Andthe negative comes to you because you're very,
very vocal of your opinion of things. And I think that and I
think what ends up happening is thatyou set somebody off to the point where
they feel like they can just comedown and they can say some of the
(17:52):
meanest things. And I've tried tosay numerous times to you, as well
as to the others on the show, stop reading that shit. You know
what I mean. And I knowit's easier said for me than it is
for anybody else. It's not eventhat I'll get people who come up to
me in public and say it tomy face, so like it's wild and
honestly, the influx of it iscrazy too. I I did do an
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assignment with my therapist where this wouldhad been bothering me for so long that
for two weeks I'd written down everynegative comment and I filled a lot of
space with it. And it wasoverwhelming just to be like this, This
is the feedback I get on whoI am as a person on a daily
basis. It's overwhelming. Can Iask you, because you said you made
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a comment earlier in this and Ikind of verified it that I think sometimes
you play a character a little biton the air, Yeah, a lot
of times, And I wonder ifyou played Megan mich the actual Megan Mick
now playing the role of I wonderif you were exactly who you who you
are are? You know, andI know personally off the air and on
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the air, because I hear yousay stuff on the air and I go,
oh, that's Megan. But Iwonder sometimes how the perception would be.
I think she was on the airfor a very long time and was
destroyed so much she had to bedestroyed by what Yeah, listeners, was
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this while you've been on with us? Or it got worse? Oh yeah,
because the audience got bigger. Youknow what's amazing is Jacob talked about
this last week. Our son talkedabout it on the last episode that we
had. He talked about the listenerscoming after him and you know, calling
him the most horrendous names and tellinghim he's going to burn and hell yeah,
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I told that pretty often. It'samazing to me what how vicious people
can be. But the thing thatin ChEls we've dealt with this even as
parents, when our kids come homeand people say something, we always we
have We've done things that sometimes Ilook back go and I wish I wouldn't
have done it. We would alwaysremember say or I would always say you
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sometimes would say, well, wedon't know what's going on in their homes,
you know. We would always likewe try to make excuses for them,
when in reality I really wanted tosay fuck them, you know what
I mean? And I think Ithink we did a little bit. I
think we would say, you knowwhat, that's bullshit, that's hurtful,
we should have done more, thatis hurtful, that you know your feelings
are valid with that like that.But yeah, I would generally I would
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a lot of the times say youknow what, you should try to be
kind to them, you know,don't what would Jesus do like we would
always we would always relate it backto our faith and in regard and honestly
I love I can't wait for theday that I get to meet unless an
adult. It was an adult thatwas picking on my kid game on I
was in their face. But Ialways I always sit there and think to
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myself, I want to meet Jesusface to face and just go, come
on, I know you don't lovethat person, you know what I mean?
Like I like I cause there's thereare some people that say the most
horrendous thing. My last morning showwas awful to me on the air,
so people thought they were validated offto do it. Yeah, nobody held
me back. So I think thatwe have made jokes before that probably lend
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itself to like where it's like,oh, Maren's Megan you know again?
But can I tell you something thispodcast you talking right now and hearing you
this raw because we don't get thisraw on the show. No. I
hope the listeners take this, andI hope they take it to the level
of going, I, you know, love this person so much that I
will be their protector. So tospeak. I think that they do.
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I think it's really sad with oursociety that the loudest people are the worst
people. Absolutely, you know,the kind, the nice. They never
comment because they realize it's a shittything to do, like just to be
an asshole. So I think normalkind people, but it is the loudest
people. And believe me, I'vegotten my little share of comments too,
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and I'm like, I'm not onthe air, why are you picking on
me? But they are so meanwith me too. I get it.
And he would always tell me don'tread it. I'm like, I am
going to read it because that whatmakes you. And I want to message
them sometimes and like who's hurting you? Do you need a friend? I
can't be your friend because you're beingan asshole? But do you need a
friend? Like? What is wrongwith you that you have to tax someone
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you don't even know? Absolutely don'tknow the right perspective. I always like
to count teeth and just see howmany that they have, So that's where
I go. I've done that ontheir photos and I'm like, that's why
you're an asshole. The less teethyou have on Facebook is what I'm learning.
If I'm going to keep going.That's why if you're a dentist advertisement,
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right, we'd love to make youhappier. People, let us fix
you. But I I do thinka lot of it is a regret of
using my real full name I amcurrently. I think the only person on
the show that you is real firstand last name. And so I never
had any separation on like social mediaand all that. And anytime I do
(23:04):
step away from social media for mentalhealth break, I get talked to you
by superiors like this is a partof your job. You have to be
constantly creating content and involved. Andbecause I manage my own profiles, you
then have to see everything. Ithink that that can be changed. But
I also think this too though,I think that I feel like I feel
(23:27):
like a lot of the thing iswe put jokes on ourselves and you won't
hurt me. Yeah, yeah,and so and I think that, and
I think that, and maybe I'mwrong in this, but I've always had
I've always had a weight issue,and weight issue has always been my crutch.
So I've always gone, well,you know, I'm not happy with
(23:51):
I'm not happy with who I am, you know, But if I say
it first, but if I sayit first, Yeah, And I think
that sometimes, like I think,I think that there's a difference. Like
Chelsea has brought this up to mea couple of times, talking about me
personally, and she has said tome, you know, and that my
happiness is Honestly, if I didn'thave my family, I'd probably be a
(24:11):
miserable mess or more miserable mess.But I think that if I have to
get to a point and I don'tknow, and I think that you need
to get to a point too,where you start doing it for yourself and
not doing it for your boss,not doing it for your dad and your
(24:32):
brother and me and your coworkers.You're the listener. You gotta do it
for you. And I think Ido too. I'm not at that point
yet. Chelsea and I talk.She worries about my health all the time,
and she worries about me personally,like not just my weight, but
my stress level of how things areand everything to me is I sometimes I
think that if I could walk awayfrom this career, what would my life
(24:56):
be like? Like if Chelsea andI were just together and I worked at
you know, Quicken Loans or somethinglike that, what would my life be
well. The stress level is whatmade you have your open heart surgery.
Yeah, you had an issue thatyou know was there that was because of
it. Told me there was anenormous amount of stress that was put on
you and literally it would I hadto talk to different people at the radio
(25:17):
station and explain to them if hesays that this hurts, or if something
happens with this, you have tocall nine to one one immediately because he
can die. And the fact,and I had a lot of resentment that
I had to even have to saythat to people because there was so much
going on here that was causing yourhealth to deteriorate. And by the way,
if you die, the next day, everything the real world goes on,
(25:41):
right, radio still happens, ourworld stops. Yeah, mine and
the boys. And I was like, I that just speakes me emotional,
just not because I love you,but because I was just so angry about
it, you know. I mean, of course I love you, but
that I mean it was more thanjust it was so oh, it makes
me angry that so much is onyou and at that point, so much
(26:08):
was being put on you and directedat you, and it just you know,
and at the end of the day. Again, everyone everyone's life will
still go on, but there arethere were four people that were going to
be destroyed if you died. Well, and to make it a true full
circle moment, going back to thatguy that like, what if I would
have left my job? What Ilike myself? I know, Megan,
(26:33):
it's fine, it's been a goodthing. Fine, it's not like this
is I mean, I'm glad thatyou're going to therapy, and I'm glad
that because this is something that youknow you've got to get out. And
I think a lot of that too, by the way, is childhood it
all that's where that's where we allhave our issues from, is from our
childhood, right, you know,So whatever I hope, whatever you have
(26:57):
from your childhood, you know youcan And it's hard, believe me.
Yeah, I had to process whathappened with me and mine and I think
that you have to stop joking abouta lot of it and you just have
to face it, and you know, you will be a much lighter,
(27:18):
better feeling person when you can letIt's really hard to let a lot of
it go too, by the way, because our identity is holding on to
it and our identity is you knowa part of identifying with the hurt and
the anger, and that you've gotto let that go and let yourself be
the new person who you want tobe. And I will, I let
(27:40):
it go. I can't justify badaspects of myself that I don't change.
So you've got to let it go, and you will. But but if
you let it go, you're goingto realize that those they change, Yeah,
because you don't want to be thatway anyway. And I will say
to speak from experience about what Chelseais. I remember the day you let
it go, Like I remember theday that you because you for a long
time your dad, you know,walking out that affected our relationship and our
(28:07):
relationship, that your relationship with theboys. And then all of a sudden
it was like you went to therapy. You you know, decided that you
were going to you know, youwere going to meet your dad. Well,
first it was like a long time. First of I was going to
write him a letter that I neversent, and then I addressed some of
his family members. I mean,it was a very it was years of
(28:30):
and then I'd put it away fora little bit and then I went back
to it and what was it thatmade you finally say I got to do
this, because it truly did changethe dynamic of our family when you did
this. Well, I think whenI wanted to, because I had things
I wanted to say to him.His picture popped up on people you may
know on Facebook and I was like, Oh, that's so weird because that's
(28:51):
my dad. So I kind ofknow him, I kind of don't,
and I thought, well, youknow, if he dies and I haven't
said to him the things that Iwant to say, whether he takes it
or not, Like for me,I felt that I had to say these
things to him. And you know, I'm lucky that it worked out the
(29:12):
way that it did. I'm luckythat he was open to it. I'm
lucky that he apologized for everything,because I know that that's not how it
typically goes. Most people are,you know, want to be defensive on
their behavior and why they did whatthey did. But he wasn't. And
so I'm I am lucky in thatsense. But I also knew that even
if he wasn't, I had toget out the things that I wanted to
(29:33):
say to him, and I hadto make sure that he heard them.
If it went through his head.I didn't know, you know, wouldn't
know when I wanted to say it, but I knew it would just make
me feel better to say it tohim, you know. Whether again,
I'm lucky that he heard it andlistened and apologized, but I had to
have it in my head. Hemay not and he may just hang up
(29:56):
on me. He could, youknow whatever, He was open to it,
but I just knew, and I'dreached a point where I'm just done
carrying all of this anger inside ofme and hurt so much hurt, hurt
that I'm not going to let youhave control over anymore. This is for
me now. I'm going to takecontrol. And are there sometimes where I
hear a song like just today,I heard a song this morning we were
(30:18):
getting ready, and it made mecry, and it took me back back
to that point to where I wasthis little girl. But then you know
that's okay, and I picked myselfback up, and you know, you're
allowed to have those feelings. It'sjust nice to know I'm not the only
one crying to You're not speak speakingof parents in their roles towards our lives.
(30:42):
Boy, did we put Lydia's momon the hot seat there today.
Well, Lydia, tell us,has your mom done anything that is causing
for you to have any issues goingon in your life? Not currently,
but when I was going up,Yeah, oh okay, let's talk about
this hold on se Yeah. Soit's wild because we all come from,
(31:03):
you know, families that could bebaggage or no baggage. Who knows,
like, hopefully your baggage. Hopefullyyour baggage is pretty I don't know,
maybe you got to carry on baggage. Who knows what your baggage is.
That's a good dad joke. Nobodylaughed at that. I don't know how
to segue this, but so I'vealways wanted to ask this question of Lydia
because Lydia is Kldian and for thosethat don't know, Kaldian's are Iraqi Catholics.
(31:30):
They are very, very prominent inthe Detroit area and they like to
culturally stay together. They like todate Chaldeans. And I've always wanted to
know from your mom, what wouldyou do, mom if she brought home
a non Chldian as long as hetreated her right, I think that we
(31:51):
would be very acceptive or acceptant,however, accepting accept of them. What
if he was a ginger? Wedon't want gingers. I'm just God,
there are yes and they're handsome.I wasna say I think redheads can be
(32:12):
very cute. Yeah so, Lydia, what do you? What are you
looking for in relationship? And whatis it that you you want? You're
twenty six five? Got it?Twenty six? Twenty six? Yeah,
twenty six years old. I swearto you. I think Lydia is going
to make an amazing, amazing wife, and I think she's going to be
mama the most. I mean,I think her mom is spectacular, and
(32:34):
Chelsea, I think you are spectacular. I think Lydia is gonna she's going
to excel, maybe even higher thanboth of you. Guys. I'm looking
forward to being a mom and awife one day, just not now,
because I feel like the pool ofmen that are open option for me,
especially Keldy and men are awful.They're no good. The past Keldy and
guys I've dated have showed a terribletrack record, and even the American guys
(32:59):
I've dated aren't the best. Thatis, as a mother of boys,
Why what is going on? I'mseeing it as they are using social media,
as you know, I can findbetter. It's always been that for
me, like following girls, I'mcatching snapchating girls, Facebook messaging. It's
it's constant how can I find betterthan you? Really, it's constant shopping.
(33:23):
Yep. So does does you knowwith the Keldan guys, Like we've
had babysitters of ours that are Keldiangirls and we learned from them. And
I don't know if it's similar tothis, but they are very Oh is
it cannas all? I love Candace? Who does it? They were so
(33:45):
secretive with going out with guys andthey and it was funny because Candice is
married to the most unreal guy ever, Like this guy is so spectacular,
He's not Keldyan, he was marriedprior, has an older child, you
know whatever. And it was oneof those things where I was like Candice,
if I if my child brought homeAnthony, I would be loving it
(34:10):
because it would be so like whywhy is it that in the Kaldian community
that they it is so important tomarry a Chaldean another Caldian, even if
it's not a good option. Ithink it's because they just want to keep
the culture going, which I likethat, but if they're not good and
(34:32):
they're making your daughter like not you. But I see like the pressure that
they feel to have to they haveto be Klthyan, they have to be
Kaldyan. And then some of themare listen, they're miserable in a regular
marriage, like a you know Americanman too, by the way, but
it doesn't have to be right marriage. But but I just like, to
me, I feel it's so closed. It is it is. I just
(34:59):
think, like I said, Ithink it's more or less that she wants
to keep the culture going. Areyou specifying me because she was asking a
generic Well know that's I don't wantto keep the culture going. In a
sense, I think it's they understandthe nationality, they understand the culture,
they understand the language. It's it'severything is the same. Because would you
(35:21):
like to raise your children in theKaldean? Would you like to be then
the Catholic? My kids are goingto be Catholic as far as I have
control of it. You'll raise themin the Catholic Church. And then yeah,
yeah, see I have friends ofmine who are Jewish that have married
non Jews, and I think thatthey also would like to, you know,
(35:43):
continue to carry on their faith.But I've seen I've seen it where
there's a lot of conversion, Likedoes that happen in the Kaldian community where
if a non Chaldean were to marryLydia, could they become a member of
the Kaldean Catholic Church. Oh?Absolutely, Okay, has happened because I
think that one of the things I'vealways respected about uh Jews is that they
(36:06):
will be very much like, youknow, what I would love for you.
I want you to, you know, to take on my faith.
And I actually like when there arepeople that care for their faith that much
that they're willing to do that.I also like when I see culture kids
like because we've had numerous friends ofours who Catholic, one's Catholic, one's
(36:27):
you know, uh Jewish, andthey will do both faiths in their their
you know relationship, which is honestlythe greatest because they get twice the amount
of presence. But I mean it'sthat way for me. I'm Orthodox.
Oh okay, right, So Georgeis George Keldyan, then he is Keldyan.
Yeah, he is Catholic. Andmy in laws were very accepting of
(36:51):
me and my religion. Okay,and they still are today. And so
do you guys also practice your Orthodoxfaith. I'm I'm I'm swaying more towards
the I mean, I go tochurch every Sunday in the Catholic Church.
So yeah, I've kind of swayedaway, but I mean I still believe
in you know, yeah, Orthodoxways and what have you. So I
(37:15):
think you brought up something Lydia,and I think it's so bad because social
media. It's the idea that theseguys are on social media and they're you
know, they just want you know, it's like we have such you know,
if I want food right now,I can order it and within twenty
minutes it's going to be delivered toour door. If you want to meet
somebody, you got the same exactpretty much thing going on, especially for
(37:37):
guys, and guys take advantage ofthat. And I don't get it.
And you know, I've had conversationswith our boys about it, and none
of our boys except actually one ofour boys, Jacob's probably the most out
of all of the other two boys, the other three boys. He's the
one that you use social media datingmore so, like he's dated more often.
(37:58):
Well, you don't know what theother two of done. Joe's told
me he hasn't. I don't know, and Luke is I don't think he
has. Well he's only eighteen.Yeah, meet kids organically at the bar
makes four decisions. But I've neverdated a guy who had Snapchat. Snapchat
to me is the end. I'llbe all of our generation because I've never
(38:21):
dated a guy who had Snapchat whodidn't use it to try to choose Wow,
And that's where a majority of myproblems have been in past relationships.
Is catching my ex boyfriend. Ohyeah, because there's adding girls, there's
just it just vanishes. You canliterally just talk to people that vanish.
I mean there are ways, butlike, because how would you guys catch
them? Oh? The notification willpop up? Oh my homeway, who's
(38:45):
Stephanie cool? My homeboy had ahidden boulder on his phone of all the
girl's profiles that he had saved screenshotsup because he couldn't follow them. But
that's how he would go back andmessage them with screenshot it and oh fu
yeah yeah, wow so much.But that's it is. And now the
only way you meet after a certainage and I like to say college because
(39:05):
I feel like that's where it ends. Is on these dating platforms, everybody's
already married or whatever, and theymeet people at work. And I'm not
dating anybody in this industry, Solike, where am I supposed to meet
people? Every time you go out, guys are with their girlfriends, Like
where where do I so? Thebars? People don't go to the bars
anymore or don't like that's not aI don't think so. Maybe that's just
(39:30):
not my scene, maybe whatever,But like I don't know, it's always
funny to me when we talk onsocial media, people are like Tinder for
a hook or on the show notsocial media. Tinder is for hookups,
and I'm like less six weddings Iwent to, We're all it's social.
So then it is that bad thesocial media dating? I don't think so.
But it's just it's so much harder, it's so much different, and
I feel like there's more rampant disloyaltythan there was in the past because it's
(39:54):
so easy. So I want toI want to go back to to Lydia
for this. I have no own. A lot of Chaldean families, like
parents, you know, that arereally good friends of mine who all they
want is their daughters to meet agood guy. And a couple of them
have actually, like not an arrangedmarriage, but have called family other family
(40:16):
friends and said, you know,you have a son that's an awesome guy,
like, can we set up?Does that still happen in the Kaldian
community very much? So it's usuallyset up that weddings now really where we've
had that? And actually I wasonly fifteen years old when a guy's family
approached my dad asking for when Iwas ready to marry their son. Wow,
(40:37):
so it still happens, yeah,And I could only imagine how intimidating
George is to actually, uh,like is he pretty intimidating with a he
is? It's just the look literallylike he would kill a man just by
his look. It's like he's sucha like a prominent man. I don't
know. So what would you saythat you're looking for in your life?
(41:02):
Like how do you cause I hearall this time like people will talk to
me about how do I get intoradio or how can I be successful?
And I used my radio career likethis. I always tried to do it
in five year spurts where I figuredwhat I was going to do for every
five years, and it wasn't necessarilythat I had to do it that way.
It was honestly, I hate tosay, well, I'm not gonna
(41:22):
hate to say this. I'm notgoing to discount my faith. I would
pray that this would happen to me. So every five years I would say,
all right, in five years,I want to be doing this,
and I would ask God to openup those doors for me and it and
it worked that way. I wouldsay that if I were to be single
today and be like my kid's age, I would do the same thing relationship
(41:42):
wise, here's what I want.I want to be here in the next
five years. And I hope Godputs something like this in my life for
me. When I'm looking for aguy, I'm thinking of more so just
a hard working, religious, loyalkind man. And that's all I've prayed
for, That's all I've wanted,I know. And it seems like having
(42:04):
or wanting those four to five qualitiesis nothing anymore. And have you noticed
because you don't date for a longtime, you're getting older and you're not
married or whatever, people will belike, well, what are your expectations?
Are your standards too high? I'mlike, I don't feel like the
standards are that high. Well,yeah, I think that they They probably
think my standards are too high.But at the same time I think that
(42:27):
now even you Megan like you're veryunderstanding to the way that men are.
You get it like it's it's hard. Men are not very good. I'm
learning act though, like I feelthat someone needs to make them. The
standard needs to be said higher andthey need to be called like, I
don't how is that even accepted?Maybe I should just go to Birmingham and
(42:49):
do a roundup of the married menwho sit at all the clubs and the
bars over the weekend and hit onthe single Keltian girls. Wow, that's
why. Here's that. And Ithink I come off and you say,
oh, all men are terrible.I actually feel completely the opposite. I
hate when people are like my manjust hates men. The two closest people
in my life to me are men. I love men. Men are my
favorite. My brother is my favoriteperson the entire world. I don't know
(43:12):
if you know this, A man, an idiot man, my favorite person
the home man. But I thinkthere's a difference between men in your life
that you can love and appreciate,coworkers, fathers, whatever. There's those
and the people that you date.And for some reason, the expectations for
dating now is just this disloyalty.But who sets those expectations? Like who
were they set by? Who?How did it go from? Because I
(43:36):
feel like somehow something was locked alongthe way, like how is it okay?
And I would say this for womentoo, because I think that there
are good men out there. Idon't think it's just all men are horrible.
I think that there are some womena good girl so fuck well?
I I just who who lowered thebar so drastically that this is what's out
(43:59):
there? I mean, is itself respect from them? It's that there
are no well because no, becauseI think that a lot of times once
you catch them, relationships do end. So I think it's just guys are
getting away with it because it's somuch easier to hide. Now you can
see it from a perspective of Isee these married men reaching out to my
(44:20):
single friends, so I know thatit's happening. Not necessarily, Why aren't
they being called out? Then theymight be, but maybe the wives are
saying, we talk about this onmore of the roses. On the first
one, I always be like,you need to leave, and everybody with
a different perspective, you don't knowif they have kids, if they need
to work it out, like whatlike maybe this is something you can get
past kind of like what you broughtup at the beginning, Like there's a
(44:42):
lot of big problems that it's like, what am I willing to fight through
and compromise on and work on andwell leave? Right? And I understand
that. I mean, but Iif there is married men who are sitting
at a bar trying to pick upon sing women, like I think I
would put their photo all over SoI don't know what I would What would
(45:06):
you do if one of those menwas one of our children? I mean
I would beat their ass. Yeah, if they were doing that, I
think that they But and I wouldask them what is wrong? What is
wrong with you inside of you rightnow that you feel you have to do
that? Why do you feel youhave to do that to it? Because
you're not just hurting you know,you're hurting yourself, You're hurting your spouse,
(45:29):
you're hurting, You're hurting a lotof people. This isn't just about
you wanting to get yourself pleasured tonight, like look inside of yourself, you
know, dig deep, figure itout, because you're hurting a bunch of
other people with us. I knowI have had numerous times with Lydia where
in Lydia's mom, please don't bemad at me for this, where I
(45:51):
will meet a guy like one ofLuke's friends who's he's Lydia's age, he's
twenty five years old Luke and golfswith them and stuff, And I'm like,
this guy would and Lydia would beso amazing together. And he's got
a girlfriend, and I'm like,God, I pray that he breaks up
with his girlfriend. He does,and I pray that he breaks up with
his girlfriend because I sit there andI think to myself, this guy is
(46:13):
great cal Dean. I know hismom would also would love him to be
in these dating a non Caldyan girl. I thought it would be incredible.
And then I thought, maybe youknow, who knows what we can Maybe
maybe he can get his girlfriend togo hang out in Birmingham and meet some
of those married men. Who knowsthe hell is going on? But I
like, I get Chelsea and Ido not have daughters. So I kind
(46:34):
of look at the women that arein our lives, our boyfriends or the
girlfriends of our sons, and thenthe girls that I work with, and
I say, God, if Ihad a daughter, you know what I
mean? Like I look at Meghan, and I think of Scott Mick and
how amazing of a daddy is,And to hear Megan's hurt like that,
it makes me as a as adad. Go God, I know that's
got to be so painful for himto hear that. And then to see
(46:54):
the dating, the bad dating thatyou know, Lydia could get herself into,
and I could see where if Iwas Georgia, I'd want to fucking
kill somebody, you know, Andyou probably want to kill somebody. Yeah,
I'm the strong one, are you? Yeah? I don't. I
wouldn't hesitate. What have you thoughtof the past boyfriends like that? Like
the last boyfriend, and I don'twant a pinpoint. And he's the only
(47:15):
guy I've known. But I lookedat him and I thought to myself,
he seemed like an decent guy.But then I hear these stories, I'm
like, Lydy, you can doso much better. Am I allowed to
comment on how you feel about him. Yeah, I mean there were days
that I really really enjoyed him.I thought that, you know, I
thought he was the one, Ojo. I thought he was the one.
Yeah, however, right now absolutelynot. I know she can do a
(47:39):
thousand times better and than what's goingon or what happened. But I will
say this to you since we're onthat subject, kind of sort of,
Yeah, I just want to tellyou that, for some strange reason,
in the back of my head,I do feel like you are going to
(48:00):
be the one that brings that personto her. Really, somehow, some
way. I tell her this timeand time again that I feel and I'm
not I'm not just saying it becauseI have been good at setting people up
and really want to. I'm sayingit. I really feel. I really
do feel like you know you youare around a lot of the Chaldean men,
(48:22):
and you do see the generation growingup, and I do know that
you know genuinely how she is asa person's is not a matchmaker Monther,
and I like, well, inAdvertario, this is where it's going to
come from. I do. Idon't know why, just thank you,
(48:43):
let me know, But let mesay this to you. We So we
went out on a breaking entering ChristmasWish lunch with a group of business people
and there were some Caldian guys there. One of the guys was so taken
by Lydia, not in the andthe point of taken by her that he's
had feelings for her, taken byher because he could sense right away Lydia's
(49:07):
heart, but also talked about Lydiawas wearing her cross and she was wearing
it on the outside of her shirt, and it was something that caught him
because nowadays, because of the world, a lot of people are afraid to
even talk their religion. I meaneverybody, whether you're Christian, Jewish or
Muslim, whatever you are, you'reafraid to talk about it because it brings
(49:29):
up nothing but political mess. Andhe was so taken by that, and
he actually was funny because he saidto me when Lydia had left, he
said, I wish that I knewsomebody that was good enough for her.
And he's only knew her for thetwo hours or whatever that we were together.
But that's the thing is that wedon't know the guys. I don't
know what the story is. Well, I think it's guys and girls.
(49:50):
I will say that one more time. It's really sad to me that it's,
you know, not a lot ofoptions out there. And you know,
I met him when I was seventeen, so don't you and your dad
hated me? Yeah, and hewas. He had every right too,
I mean, I know, Ithink about it all the time. He
did, he really did, redid, and we were too young,
like DJ, Yeah, it justhappened to work out for us, but
(50:12):
it or so far they're all knockingon something. But no, it makes
me feel sad, you know.And and again as a mother of younger
kids too, I look and Ithink it's it's not just the guy's a
lot of these girls. You're justlike who raised you? Like who raised
(50:37):
you? Because if these are mykids, I would just say to them,
this is not okay, Like youjust don't treat other people like that
like that. So that's the partthat I don't get. Like as a
mom, I would never. Iwould not. I would be so upset
if my kids treated other people thatway. I really would. It's funny
because you go into these relationships andyou go if you treated a client of
(51:02):
yours, no matter what your businessis like that you'd lose the business.
But yet in relationships, a lotof times you treat a person in your
relationship with and for some reason youkeep the relationship. It doesn't make any
sense. And maybe a lot ofit has to do with the fact that
there's a self esteem issue with alot of people. Their self esteem is
low to treat somebody like that,and the person who they're with, their
self esteem is low to stay withsomebody like that, And it's just a
(51:24):
shame. And honestly, this podcasthas been very deep. I have to
tell you something. It's funny wewent into this. No, we went
in this podcast. This is exactlywhat I kind of wanted, Like,
I kind of want this, andI don't want to end the podcast until
I talk a little bit more toLydia and Meghan. I want to ask
you two guys, as two peoplewho are coworkers but also friendly with each
(51:45):
other and very good. You know, we talk about how we try to
be a family, but realistically,you know, it's hard to be a
family when all you're doing is workingwith somebody and dealing with you know,
the work crap. Lydia, whenyou heard Megan talk and get emotional and
talk about her life. What wereyour feelings listening to that as somebody that's
(52:06):
in studio right next to her,I think it hurts me for her to
know that sometimes when you're working withsomeone or you're friends with someone, you
don't fully know what they're going through. Like I feel like I know Megan
inside and out, but then whenshe says these things, it makes me
feel like, I'm like, wherecan I help you know? Why have
(52:29):
I not noticed how you felt sooner? And it makes I felt the same
way too. It makes me supersad because we look at her and talk
to her, and we're with hereight to ten hours a day, and
I had no idea that you feltthat way about yourself, and I I'm
(52:50):
really sorry that you feel that way. And if there's anything that I could
ever do to change that, No, because it's supposed to be fun around
here, but your mental health isso important, not just to me,
but everybody on the show and everyonein this room. We love you so
much. I love you, guys. I love being here, and I
think it's made a big difference beinghere. I think that our listeners also
(53:14):
that your mental health is important tothem too, as much as there are
those that make your mental health probablyworse, there are a majority of the
listeners I feel like that are good. What did you think when you heard
Lydia talking about her you know lifeand and have her mom in hearing what
her mom's hoping for? Love her. Her mom is the nicest person in
the entire world. To me,I've asked multiple times for her to adapt
(53:36):
me. Does it Does it makeyou a little jealous when you see like
somebody like Chelsea and somebody like Lydia'smom? Do you I don't get jealous
because I have that relationship with mydad, so I get it and I
cherish it, so i'm it makesme happy. I get sad for people
who don't have a relationship like thatwith their family, not that it's necessary,
(53:59):
because like I hate when I talklike this, listen. I have
one parent I obviously really have noconnection with, and that is sad.
But I have great family relationships too. But I also understand healthy boundaries and
sometimes being close to somebody who ismean to you or doesn't cherish you or
treat you right does not just meanlike you should because they're family. I
(54:19):
don't believe that, but I thinkwhen you do have family you connect with
and are close with and really enjoybeing around, just to realize how lucky
that is and shareish it. Sono, I'm not jealous. I'm happy
for them. I think I havea lot of strong women in my life
that I'm able to rely on,So I feel lucky. Why are you
(54:42):
crying then? I don't know?This is? This is it's very emotional.
Yeah, well you always you haveus m oh, absolutely know and
we love you. Yeah, Ilove you, guys. I thought we
were going to shoot the ship.I just told stupid jokes. Are you
(55:04):
opposed in the Keldy and faith ofLydia, Mary and Meghan, she'll become
Kelsey. No but no, truly, when you were talking about setting people
up on like weddings and stuff,I know some people find that shocking,
but at this point in my life, I truly have auditioned twice to be
on Love Is Blind because I'm likeso on the whole, Like, I'd
rather give that a shot than keepdoing what we're doing now. I told
(55:25):
Chelsea, if God forbid, shedie in an accident, which I'm not
saying that she's going to because thethird time you have said it on there.
No Now I'm gonna be asking forall these witnesses to come forward,
but I'm going I'm going on ninetyDay Fiance, So I will ninety day
Fiance it because I have had towatch that show because of Chelsea. I
love ninety Day. But I'm goingto Venezuela or I love it and I'm
(55:47):
finding some big boobed you know.It's lots of injections in her button lips
and I'm bringing her hair and I'mgoing to live next to that guy from
Canton, Michigan that has what's hisname now? And Jasmine. Yeah,
I love that show. Will youlet me take a break from the show
to do Love Is Blind? Iwould, I would because it would bring
(56:08):
so much entertainment to us afterwards.Hopefully the break would be over at the
Christmas break Well, yes I will, but only for three days, not
during sweeps. What tiving he A? I listen, I say this that
we're going to end this thing.But we just did some really cool stuff.
By all the gifts that were broughtin, we packed them up and
(56:30):
we got we we did so there'sthree groups of families that we worked on
gifts for today, And honestly,I look at it and I go their
lives are going through really tough timeright now. Hopefully what we did for
them today makes their life that muchbetter. But I think our lives are
all get better by you guys talkingto the listeners on this podcast today.
(56:51):
That's pretty cool. Maybe there's someChaldean dude out there right now that's like
the podcast on a corner in astreet in Birmingham Market or something, or
twenty twenty Chelsea, let's go,let's do a podcast from there. Oh
that would be a live broadcast potcould you imagine that? So are you
(57:15):
twenty? That would go crazy?But you've been doing these date nights.
But one of your date nights wasgoing to Oh my God, Witness.
But it has to end early becauseI get so tired. Can I tell
you though? The thing that's thatamazes me. And we've had struggles in
our relationship, and when we've hadstruggles, I've gone out and hung out
(57:36):
with my single friends. Is thatwhy you said? Is that market?
Well that you had been there?Let me tell you something. When you
go out to places like that youmake it makes you realize how it's better
just be miserable at home. I'mjust kidding. I'm just kidding. No
no, no, no no,someone's going to kick you. She's a
good Christian woman. All right.That does it for the We Downed podcast.
(57:59):
By the way, we gave themnearly sixty minutes. Oh wow,
wow, this is amazing.
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast starringhusband and wife Mojo from Mojo in the
Morning and his better half Chelsea.On this episode coming up on this episode
(00:23):
of the weedone podcast, Chelsea andI have more guests than we've ever had
in the studio for an episode.Yes, and the cool thing is you're
gonna hear perspectives from all kinds ofdifferent people, some of your favorite members
and their moms of the Mojo inthe Morning show. Well, all right,
all right, all right, withoutfurther delay, here are Mojo and
(00:45):
Chelsea. Oh this is good.So should we explain everybody's going to be
on this episode? Yes, okay, well go ahead explain. So we
were here gathering stuff together or puttingstuff together for the Breaking and Entering wishes,
(01:11):
and so we have some extra specialguest today. This is amazing.
This is actually very cool that weget to talk to the people that everybody
gets to hear on the radio show. And I'll say this when we'll get
the breaking and entering part out ofthis. So our breaking enter in Christmas
wish for anybody. That's what WeDon't podcast listener is our way that we
(01:34):
as a show try to get awaywith all the shit that we do during
the year, so we figure weput some good out there and then we
can actually do a lot of sexjokes and stuff. But Lydia, who
is our executive producer of the Mojoin the Morning show, she heads up
Breaking in in Christmas Wish and doeseverything, and so she sent texts out
to you, to Megan, whois a special guest here today, and
(01:57):
to Lydia's mom, who is herewith us. Do you want me to
call you Lydia's mom or should Icall you by by your first name?
Either way, whatever you feel comfortable. So your name is Cyan, right,
and you're Lydia's mom. To me, I'm calling you Lydia's mom,
all right. She could make thather government name. She would anyway,
Oh, Lydia's Mom, Yeah shewould, I would. Lydia. You've
done such an amazing job with BreakingEntering Christmas Wish. Thank you and a
(02:21):
lot of fun. And the effortis a community effort. But you truly
take probably about ninety percent of theof the tasks of this thing. Well,
I couldn't do it without all ofyou who's sitting in the studio.
You guys have helped me tremendously.Well, now you're going to have to
help us with talking about the podcastfun that we do here on this We
Don't podcast, Chelse. I waskind of thinking that it's interesting because I
(02:44):
know that we've wanted to have everymember of the show on this podcast.
Yes, and so far we've alreadyhad Wes and Shannon on with us,
right and talked about their relationship.Yeah, but it's interesting, and she
may not think that this is true. Megan's actually been one that you've wanted
to have on I have Why whatdo you mean why I have no perspective
on this stuff? Yes, youdo. You got a big perspective.
(03:07):
You know what you have. Thebiggest perspective of is your you have you
come from a parents who are divorced, a wrecked household. Well, and
that's what I want to hear about. I want to know a little bit
about that shit show. Yeah,oh my god, therapy. This is
much cheaper than therapy. Cool.But I also will tell you though,
(03:28):
Megan, I think that listeners arefascinated about you, and I think really
want to see you in your relationshipflourish with whatever you decide that you're going
to do. But I think thatsome parts when I hear you talk about
relationships probably stem back from your parents'relationship. This is so Chelsey and I
were literally just talking about this reallyminutes ago. Thirty minutes ago. What
(03:53):
were you talking about that? Intherapy, my therapist and I are going
through why I'm not interested in beingin relationships, and I think a lot
of it is stemmed from I've notseen very many successful relationships, at least
not people who have been together fora very long time. So for me,
I kind of guard myself from theeventual hurt that the probability of it
(04:15):
coming is large, because I,yeah, I've only really seen things go
up in flames. But then Ialso think that I've become a caregiver to
a lot of people in my life, and I'm really sick of caring for
other people, and so I thinkpeople would be shocked to know that I
care for a lot of people becauseI come off as the cold hearted bitch
(04:35):
of the show. Well it's anact, But I do think that I
have filled a lot of like motherlyroles or like what have like confident roles
for a lot of people in mylife, and nobody ever really fills that
role for me, So instead ofjust getting disappointed by people, it's easier
(04:58):
to confident me. When you talkabout motherly Rose, we always joke that
your dad is. We wish themhappy Mother's Day, my mother's Day,
because your dad raised you singly byhimself. From what age your mom?
When did your mother go out ofthe picture? Fourteen? Wow, that's
a big time in a girl's life. Yeah. I mean, Chelsea,
you know what it's like to havea dad leave, but he left at
(05:19):
such an early age when I wasthree. Yeah, I almost wonder is
what is better? I think it'seasier when the kids are younger because then
you don't remember, you don't havethose I have a couple of memories of
my dad, but I don't reallyremember, you know, so there was
nothing really to miss, you know. Yeah. No, I completely agree
(05:40):
with you, especially when it comesto like divorces, when people are like,
I think we're going to work itout, Please don't. You're putting
that kid through hell. If it'sover and it's over, make it over.
Just end it for everybody, oryou're all miserable. And I think
a lot of times people think,well, the kids are happy, so
all be miserable and the kids feelwhat you're feeling. If you're miserable,
they feed off of that. Yeah, but it's hard though. Sometimes I
(06:04):
think you can think it's over,but it really isn't Like if you put
because you can even a great marriage, and you say that you don't have
any good examples, but I wouldlike to know what a good I don't
think that there is a perfect marriage. No. I think that there's just
people who like try to work itout and who can stick through it,
(06:24):
even through the worst of times.Because we went out with some friends last
night who I adore and love,and I if I would think that there
was a perfect couple, I wouldthink it would be them. And she
turned to me at one point she'slike, you know, sometimes I can't
even fucking stand him when he walksthrough the door, like Holly loukjah,
because I feel that way too,and I you know, I've felt that
(06:45):
way for you know, very youknow, off and on for our marriage.
And it's like, Okay, that'sgood to know that that's normal.
It's normal. Yeah, not itis okay to not like the person that
you said I do to sometimes,I mean, eventually have to like them.
But you know, it's hard.It's so hard. I'm not looking
for perfection in a relationship. I'mnot looking for happiness all the time.
I totally get that. Uh,it's hard to explain my parents' marriage and
(07:09):
the actual like Jess, oh,yeah, really, I lived in a
battleground. I picture your dad,and maybe I'm wrong, but I picture
and I don't know what your momat all. I've never met her and
probably don't ever want to meet herfrom what you've talked about her. I
mean, but I'll find her.But I find your dad to be unbelievably
(07:30):
charming. Your dad. If Iwere to say who I think that your
dad most resembles. I feel likeI have a lot of your dad in
me. Is weird to sEH like, I know you absolutely do. I
think it's why I love and adoreyou so much. I think when you
hear fighting all the time, itwas not I don't want to dive into
this because it will create backlash inmy life. But like my dad wasn't
(07:53):
yelling in the house, you know, like it was, it seems like
that that would get yelled at.Yeah, okay, So when you say
that and you try to compare yourselfto that. What are you saying,
I'm not saying exactly. No,I think you're very similar in the way
that you are very caring and youare very protective, but you're also kind
(08:15):
of goofy and dismissive in the wayYeah my dad is, which I really
truly love and a total pussy.Yeah. Yeah, she's roll their eyes
at me if you can only seethis. So there's that, and I
think there's the fact that everybody whoI've had a long term relationship with,
which I think our listeners would beshocked to know that there are a few
people that I've had long term relationshipswith. When they yell at me for
(08:37):
commenting on relationships, I do havesome experience. I typically turn into an
unappreciated caregiver role who's demeaned and belittledall the time, like I'm not gonna
take care of you while you aredismissive of me and my career roles.
And then also expect me to haveyou been in a relationship at all where
(08:58):
you decided to end it, becauseif it wasn't, it didn't feel familiar,
meaning that it so maybe it couldhave been a good relationship, but
maybe because children who grew up inchaos gravitate towards chaos. I say,
there's one relationship I regret ending,but it needed to It absolutely needed to.
But my life would be so differentif I did it. And it
(09:22):
was a guy I was going toget married too, but he wanted me
to quit my job in VSM.You were engaged, we were about to
be Wow. Yeah, okay,and you regret it, yes, and
no. I would have a muchdifferent life right now. I would probably
be way less stressed out. Yeah, I would have been taken care of.
But at the time I had reallybig aspirations and goals that I wasn't
(09:43):
ready to give up yet. Iwas really young, so I was going
to be oh well for twenty onetwenty two, and he was ready to
start a feeling. He was olderthan me and had a great job and
was like, I'm ready for thisnext step in my life. But I
said, I'm not ready to joinit yet. Well, I'm going to
tell you right now out in miserablybecause you weren't ready. And even though
(10:05):
you would have, you probably wouldhave had more stress than you have now
because you would have given up yourhand you'd been resentful probably, yeah,
a million. I see his lifenow and it's pretty great. You see
the outside of it. You're notin it with a lot of his family
friends. Really pretty great. He'sliving it up. But what about it?
But what about not being able tosay hey, I was able to
do I mean, this has beenan amazing year for you in regards in
(10:30):
Detroit. One of your dreams hasalways been to move to a big city
and live in downtown city and stuff, and also to get a bigger role
on a radio show. And Iknow there was talk for a while into
the listeners, there was talk fora while of you know, Meghan looking
at opportunities in Chicago or outside ofthe Detroit market to go somewhere else.
(10:50):
So I don't know. I firstoff, why could you not have had
the conversation with him of saying hey, or maybe because you were twenty one
or I think it was because Iwas twenty one, Because yeah, Because
I wonder if, like I wonderif that happened to you now, if
you could have said hey, waita second, no, you know,
I wonder if nowadays he would haveasked you to do something like that.
I think about this a lot,I really do, and it's my fault
(11:11):
a relationship N did. It's Icalled things off, I wasn't ready whatever,
And I think I've really hurt him, and I've always felt bad about
it. He's now married, andI've run into them before and they're like,
I could not be more happy forhim. I wish nothing but ill
will to my other exes, butfor him, like I am, I'm
absolutely thrilled that he got what hewanted because he deserved it and he was
a good person. I just wasn'tready. Yeah, and I want to
(11:35):
remember this. I think we romanticizedideas in our head of what could have
been. Yeah. Oh, andso you are where you're meant to be,
and you are, you know,in a better position than if you
would have been with him, becauseI am telling you you would have.
There would have been so much resentmentif you couldn't have followed through with what
you are following through with. Whetheryou believe it or not at that moment,
or even believe it right now,I'm telling you, yeah, you
(11:58):
know and looking at pictures and thinking, I'm sure you know a lot of
his friends, but you know,there's a ton of shit to make everything
look really pretty. That's true.His mom also hated me, so that's
all that would have not been fun. Yeah, like set me down and
had a conversation about me not usinghis last name publicly. Yeah, so
yeah, that's a hard one.They were a pretty well known family and
(12:18):
they didn't want to be associated withthe stuff I was doing. So oh
yeah, but then again, Chelseadoesn't like to be associated with the stuff
we're doing. Said them down andsay we're not using your last name anymore.
Quick quick question though, you mentionedthat to Meghan about you know,
romanticizing and all that stuff, becausehere you were. You were about that
(12:39):
same age that Meghan was when thisguy had asked Megan to do what you're
doing, and I never asked youto not do anything. Like We even
talked on a prior podcast about howit was kind of your decision of Hey,
I want to be with the kids. I want to stay home with
the kids. But thinking about Meghanand this and then where you are at
right now, her life could havebeen stay at home mommish, like,
(13:03):
you know, do you think thatwhat do you think? You know?
As far as advice to Megan orany thoughts on that, of not choosing
that, Like, do you say, Megan, look at what I'm going
through right now, You're so muchfucking better now you don't have to deal
with this bad ass. I dothink. I do think it is harder,
Like at the end of my whereI am right now, it definitely
(13:24):
is harder because I am struggling withlike, what am I doing? You
know, who am I? Otherthan you know, three boys moms?
And then you know his wife?What am I? Who am I?
So I do struggle with that,so you but but then it's like you
flip a coin and what's you know, better heads or tails? Like I
don't know. For me, Ihindsight's twenty twenty. So I look back
(13:50):
and I would have been devastated missingout on the kids that I have and
the life that I have right now. But I'm sure I could have also
lived a great life if I chosenot to get married too. So I
think it's you know, you justhave to look at the bright set on
whatever you're in. And again,I think it is so easy to romanticize,
(14:11):
oh what could have been? Ithink, you know, that's why
I think a lot of marriages goa ride too, because you sit there
and you think, Okay, ifI wasn't sitting here married to this,
are we disrupting your game over there? I'm not watching the game even though
this is great. We got theLions game on in the background. Literally,
(14:31):
go ahead, this is the bestpodcast time ever. We need to
tape it this time all the time. But I think you make a pretty
valid point of like there's always differentthings, because yes, I actually feel
like I have a complete sense ofwho I am and what I stand for
and like what I like, whatis me? But then when it comes
to like stupid shit like wanting togo out and do something and being like
(14:54):
I've moved to a new city,don't have a ton of friends here,
I don't have a significant other,I don't have anybody to do, there
is a sense of like pretty constantloneliness. Whereas someone who's in a relationship
and has been in one for,you know, over thirty years, I'm
like, what a life. Ohmy god, that is amazing to be
alone, you know, Like,and I get that. I get that.
(15:16):
I think that it's but maybe youneed to open yourself up then and
not close yourself off and to thinkingthat every relationship is going to be horrible.
Like I think that sometimes we canset a screen or even openers.
Either you can open yourself up toa really shit relationship and attract shit people,
or you can also project and invitestuff in. Yeah. I think
(15:39):
I'm not ready for a relationship before, which is fine. I am not
happy with myself. This therapy guyshappy. So do you think someone would
make you happy? No, becauseI'm too insecure to be happy right now.
Megan, But you bring so muchto the table. This is the
part that makes me really sad,because you do bring so much to the
(16:02):
table, and I think you shutyourself down before you will even let anybody
in. Yeah, and it's notfair. It's not fair to you.
Yeah. Wow, this is weird. The emotionally this is I really should
pay you for this. I paya guy a lot of money to do
this and I haven't even opened upthis much to him. Ither tissue in
(16:26):
here. This is going to begreat. And I'm not watching football only
because I started crying if we werejust talking about regular boys. I think
that part of the reason that I'mso not willing to date people is because
(16:48):
of my job, because I havebeen so conditioned from such a young age.
I don't think people realize I've beendoing this since I was eighteen,
and like I have formed myself aroundpublic feedback and criticism. So it's tough.
(17:10):
Lor I should have done this.No, I love it. This
is crazy. I'm sure. Iread the podcast is Fun Stories, No,
and this is on it. Ion a lot of them. I
no, I do I get whatyou're saying though, because you have you
(17:32):
do get a lot of You geta lot of positive, but you also
get a ton of negative. Andthe negative comes to you because you're very,
very vocal of your opinion of things. And I think that and I
think what ends up happening is thatyou set somebody off to the point where
they feel like they can just comedown and they can say some of the
(17:52):
meanest things. And I've tried tosay numerous times to you, as well
as to the others on the show, stop reading that shit. You know
what I mean. And I knowit's easier said for me than it is
for anybody else. It's not eventhat I'll get people who come up to
me in public and say it tomy face, so like it's wild and
honestly, the influx of it iscrazy too. I I did do an
(18:18):
assignment with my therapist where this wouldhad been bothering me for so long that
for two weeks I'd written down everynegative comment and I filled a lot of
space with it. And it wasoverwhelming just to be like this, This
is the feedback I get on whoI am as a person on a daily
basis. It's overwhelming. Can Iask you, because you said you made
(18:42):
a comment earlier in this and Ikind of verified it that I think sometimes
you play a character a little biton the air, Yeah, a lot
of times, And I wonder ifyou played Megan mich the actual Megan Mick
now playing the role of I wonderif you were exactly who you who you
are are? You know, andI know personally off the air and on
(19:04):
the air, because I hear yousay stuff on the air and I go,
oh, that's Megan. But Iwonder sometimes how the perception would be.
I think she was on the airfor a very long time and was
destroyed so much she had to bedestroyed by what Yeah, listeners, was
(19:26):
this while you've been on with us? Or it got worse? Oh yeah,
because the audience got bigger. Youknow what's amazing is Jacob talked about
this last week. Our son talkedabout it on the last episode that we
had. He talked about the listenerscoming after him and you know, calling
him the most horrendous names and tellinghim he's going to burn and hell yeah,
(19:48):
I told that pretty often. It'samazing to me what how vicious people
can be. But the thing thatin ChEls we've dealt with this even as
parents, when our kids come homeand people say something, we always we
have We've done things that sometimes Ilook back go and I wish I wouldn't
have done it. We would alwaysremember say or I would always say you
(20:08):
sometimes would say, well, wedon't know what's going on in their homes,
you know. We would always likewe try to make excuses for them,
when in reality I really wanted tosay fuck them, you know what
I mean? And I think Ithink we did a little bit. I
think we would say, you knowwhat, that's bullshit, that's hurtful,
we should have done more, thatis hurtful, that you know your feelings
are valid with that like that.But yeah, I would generally I would
(20:30):
a lot of the times say youknow what, you should try to be
kind to them, you know,don't what would Jesus do like we would
always we would always relate it backto our faith and in regard and honestly
I love I can't wait for theday that I get to meet unless an
adult. It was an adult thatwas picking on my kid game on I
was in their face. But Ialways I always sit there and think to
(20:52):
myself, I want to meet Jesusface to face and just go, come
on, I know you don't lovethat person, you know what I mean?
Like I like I cause there's thereare some people that say the most
horrendous thing. My last morning showwas awful to me on the air,
so people thought they were validated offto do it. Yeah, nobody held
me back. So I think thatwe have made jokes before that probably lend
(21:15):
itself to like where it's like,oh, Maren's Megan you know again?
But can I tell you something thispodcast you talking right now and hearing you
this raw because we don't get thisraw on the show. No. I
hope the listeners take this, andI hope they take it to the level
of going, I, you know, love this person so much that I
will be their protector. So tospeak. I think that they do.
(21:37):
I think it's really sad with oursociety that the loudest people are the worst
people. Absolutely, you know,the kind, the nice. They never
comment because they realize it's a shittything to do, like just to be
an asshole. So I think normalkind people, but it is the loudest
people. And believe me, I'vegotten my little share of comments too,
(22:00):
and I'm like, I'm not onthe air, why are you picking on
me? But they are so meanwith me too. I get it.
And he would always tell me don'tread it. I'm like, I am
going to read it because that whatmakes you. And I want to message
them sometimes and like who's hurting you? Do you need a friend? I
can't be your friend because you're beingan asshole? But do you need a
friend? Like? What is wrongwith you that you have to tax someone
(22:22):
you don't even know? Absolutely don'tknow the right perspective. I always like
to count teeth and just see howmany that they have, So that's where
I go. I've done that ontheir photos and I'm like, that's why
you're an asshole. The less teethyou have on Facebook is what I'm learning.
If I'm going to keep going.That's why if you're a dentist advertisement,
(22:44):
right, we'd love to make youhappier. People, let us fix
you. But I I do thinka lot of it is a regret of
using my real full name I amcurrently. I think the only person on
the show that you is real firstand last name. And so I never
had any separation on like social mediaand all that. And anytime I do
(23:04):
step away from social media for mentalhealth break, I get talked to you
by superiors like this is a partof your job. You have to be
constantly creating content and involved. Andbecause I manage my own profiles, you
then have to see everything. Ithink that that can be changed. But
I also think this too though,I think that I feel like I feel
(23:27):
like a lot of the thing iswe put jokes on ourselves and you won't
hurt me. Yeah, yeah,and so and I think that, and
I think that, and maybe I'mwrong in this, but I've always had
I've always had a weight issue,and weight issue has always been my crutch.
So I've always gone, well,you know, I'm not happy with
(23:51):
I'm not happy with who I am, you know, But if I say
it first, but if I sayit first, Yeah, And I think
that sometimes, like I think,I think that there's a difference. Like
Chelsea has brought this up to mea couple of times, talking about me
personally, and she has said tome, you know, and that my
happiness is Honestly, if I didn'thave my family, I'd probably be a
(24:11):
miserable mess or more miserable mess.But I think that if I have to
get to a point and I don'tknow, and I think that you need
to get to a point too,where you start doing it for yourself and
not doing it for your boss,not doing it for your dad and your
(24:32):
brother and me and your coworkers.You're the listener. You gotta do it
for you. And I think Ido too. I'm not at that point
yet. Chelsea and I talk.She worries about my health all the time,
and she worries about me personally,like not just my weight, but
my stress level of how things areand everything to me is I sometimes I
think that if I could walk awayfrom this career, what would my life
(24:56):
be like? Like if Chelsea andI were just together and I worked at
you know, Quicken Loans or somethinglike that, what would my life be
well. The stress level is whatmade you have your open heart surgery.
Yeah, you had an issue thatyou know was there that was because of
it. Told me there was anenormous amount of stress that was put on
you and literally it would I hadto talk to different people at the radio
(25:17):
station and explain to them if hesays that this hurts, or if something
happens with this, you have tocall nine to one one immediately because he
can die. And the fact,and I had a lot of resentment that
I had to even have to saythat to people because there was so much
going on here that was causing yourhealth to deteriorate. And by the way,
if you die, the next day, everything the real world goes on,
(25:41):
right, radio still happens, ourworld stops. Yeah, mine and
the boys. And I was like, I that just speakes me emotional,
just not because I love you,but because I was just so angry about
it, you know. I mean, of course I love you, but
that I mean it was more thanjust it was so oh, it makes
me angry that so much is onyou and at that point, so much
(26:08):
was being put on you and directedat you, and it just you know,
and at the end of the day. Again, everyone everyone's life will
still go on, but there arethere were four people that were going to
be destroyed if you died. Well, and to make it a true full
circle moment, going back to thatguy that like, what if I would
have left my job? What Ilike myself? I know, Megan,
(26:33):
it's fine, it's been a goodthing. Fine, it's not like this
is I mean, I'm glad thatyou're going to therapy, and I'm glad
that because this is something that youknow you've got to get out. And
I think a lot of that too, by the way, is childhood it
all that's where that's where we allhave our issues from, is from our
childhood, right, you know,So whatever I hope, whatever you have
(26:57):
from your childhood, you know youcan And it's hard, believe me.
Yeah, I had to process whathappened with me and mine and I think
that you have to stop joking abouta lot of it and you just have
to face it, and you know, you will be a much lighter,
(27:18):
better feeling person when you can letIt's really hard to let a lot of
it go too, by the way, because our identity is holding on to
it and our identity is you knowa part of identifying with the hurt and
the anger, and that you've gotto let that go and let yourself be
the new person who you want tobe. And I will, I let
(27:40):
it go. I can't justify badaspects of myself that I don't change.
So you've got to let it go, and you will. But but if
you let it go, you're goingto realize that those they change, Yeah,
because you don't want to be thatway anyway. And I will say
to speak from experience about what Chelseais. I remember the day you let
it go, Like I remember theday that you because you for a long
time your dad, you know,walking out that affected our relationship and our
(28:07):
relationship, that your relationship with theboys. And then all of a sudden
it was like you went to therapy. You you know, decided that you
were going to you know, youwere going to meet your dad. Well,
first it was like a long time. First of I was going to
write him a letter that I neversent, and then I addressed some of
his family members. I mean,it was a very it was years of
(28:30):
and then I'd put it away fora little bit and then I went back
to it and what was it thatmade you finally say I got to do
this, because it truly did changethe dynamic of our family when you did
this. Well, I think whenI wanted to, because I had things
I wanted to say to him.His picture popped up on people you may
know on Facebook and I was like, Oh, that's so weird because that's
(28:51):
my dad. So I kind ofknow him, I kind of don't,
and I thought, well, youknow, if he dies and I haven't
said to him the things that Iwant to say, whether he takes it
or not, Like for me,I felt that I had to say these
things to him. And you know, I'm lucky that it worked out the
(29:12):
way that it did. I'm luckythat he was open to it. I'm
lucky that he apologized for everything,because I know that that's not how it
typically goes. Most people are,you know, want to be defensive on
their behavior and why they did whatthey did. But he wasn't. And
so I'm I am lucky in thatsense. But I also knew that even
if he wasn't, I had toget out the things that I wanted to
(29:33):
say to him, and I hadto make sure that he heard them.
If it went through his head.I didn't know, you know, wouldn't
know when I wanted to say it, but I knew it would just make
me feel better to say it tohim, you know. Whether again,
I'm lucky that he heard it andlistened and apologized, but I had to
have it in my head. Hemay not and he may just hang up
(29:56):
on me. He could, youknow whatever, He was open to it,
but I just knew, and I'dreached a point where I'm just done
carrying all of this anger inside ofme and hurt so much hurt, hurt
that I'm not going to let youhave control over anymore. This is for
me now. I'm going to takecontrol. And are there sometimes where I
hear a song like just today,I heard a song this morning we were
(30:18):
getting ready, and it made mecry, and it took me back back
to that point to where I wasthis little girl. But then you know
that's okay, and I picked myselfback up, and you know, you're
allowed to have those feelings. It'sjust nice to know I'm not the only
one crying to You're not speak speakingof parents in their roles towards our lives.
(30:42):
Boy, did we put Lydia's momon the hot seat there today.
Well, Lydia, tell us,has your mom done anything that is causing
for you to have any issues goingon in your life? Not currently,
but when I was going up,Yeah, oh okay, let's talk about
this hold on se Yeah. Soit's wild because we all come from,
(31:03):
you know, families that could bebaggage or no baggage. Who knows,
like, hopefully your baggage. Hopefullyyour baggage is pretty I don't know,
maybe you got to carry on baggage. Who knows what your baggage is.
That's a good dad joke. Nobodylaughed at that. I don't know how
to segue this, but so I'vealways wanted to ask this question of Lydia
because Lydia is Kldian and for thosethat don't know, Kaldian's are Iraqi Catholics.
(31:30):
They are very, very prominent inthe Detroit area and they like to
culturally stay together. They like todate Chaldeans. And I've always wanted to
know from your mom, what wouldyou do, mom if she brought home
a non Chldian as long as hetreated her right, I think that we
(31:51):
would be very acceptive or acceptant,however, accepting accept of them. What
if he was a ginger? Wedon't want gingers. I'm just God,
there are yes and they're handsome.I wasna say I think redheads can be
(32:12):
very cute. Yeah so, Lydia, what do you? What are you
looking for in relationship? And whatis it that you you want? You're
twenty six five? Got it?Twenty six? Twenty six? Yeah,
twenty six years old. I swearto you. I think Lydia is going
to make an amazing, amazing wife, and I think she's going to be
mama the most. I mean,I think her mom is spectacular, and
(32:34):
Chelsea, I think you are spectacular. I think Lydia is gonna she's going
to excel, maybe even higher thanboth of you. Guys. I'm looking
forward to being a mom and awife one day, just not now,
because I feel like the pool ofmen that are open option for me,
especially Keldy and men are awful.They're no good. The past Keldy and
guys I've dated have showed a terribletrack record, and even the American guys
(32:59):
I've dated aren't the best. Thatis, as a mother of boys,
Why what is going on? I'mseeing it as they are using social media,
as you know, I can findbetter. It's always been that for
me, like following girls, I'mcatching snapchating girls, Facebook messaging. It's
it's constant how can I find betterthan you? Really, it's constant shopping.
(33:23):
Yep. So does does you knowwith the Keldan guys, Like we've
had babysitters of ours that are Keldiangirls and we learned from them. And
I don't know if it's similar tothis, but they are very Oh is
it cannas all? I love Candace? Who does it? They were so
(33:45):
secretive with going out with guys andthey and it was funny because Candice is
married to the most unreal guy ever, Like this guy is so spectacular,
He's not Keldyan, he was marriedprior, has an older child, you
know whatever. And it was oneof those things where I was like Candice,
if I if my child brought homeAnthony, I would be loving it
(34:10):
because it would be so like whywhy is it that in the Kaldian community
that they it is so important tomarry a Chaldean another Caldian, even if
it's not a good option. Ithink it's because they just want to keep
the culture going, which I likethat, but if they're not good and
(34:32):
they're making your daughter like not you. But I see like the pressure that
they feel to have to they haveto be Klthyan, they have to be
Kaldyan. And then some of themare listen, they're miserable in a regular
marriage, like a you know Americanman too, by the way, but
it doesn't have to be right marriage. But but I just like, to
me, I feel it's so closed. It is it is. I just
(34:59):
think, like I said, Ithink it's more or less that she wants
to keep the culture going. Areyou specifying me because she was asking a
generic Well know that's I don't wantto keep the culture going. In a
sense, I think it's they understandthe nationality, they understand the culture,
they understand the language. It's it'severything is the same. Because would you
(35:21):
like to raise your children in theKaldean? Would you like to be then
the Catholic? My kids are goingto be Catholic as far as I have
control of it. You'll raise themin the Catholic Church. And then yeah,
yeah, see I have friends ofmine who are Jewish that have married
non Jews, and I think thatthey also would like to, you know,
(35:43):
continue to carry on their faith.But I've seen I've seen it where
there's a lot of conversion, Likedoes that happen in the Kaldian community where
if a non Chaldean were to marryLydia, could they become a member of
the Kaldean Catholic Church. Oh?Absolutely, Okay, has happened because I
think that one of the things I'vealways respected about uh Jews is that they
(36:06):
will be very much like, youknow, what I would love for you.
I want you to, you know, to take on my faith.
And I actually like when there arepeople that care for their faith that much
that they're willing to do that.I also like when I see culture kids
like because we've had numerous friends ofours who Catholic, one's Catholic, one's
(36:27):
you know, uh Jewish, andthey will do both faiths in their their
you know relationship, which is honestlythe greatest because they get twice the amount
of presence. But I mean it'sthat way for me. I'm Orthodox.
Oh okay, right, So Georgeis George Keldyan, then he is Keldyan.
Yeah, he is Catholic. Andmy in laws were very accepting of
(36:51):
me and my religion. Okay,and they still are today. And so
do you guys also practice your Orthodoxfaith. I'm I'm I'm swaying more towards
the I mean, I go tochurch every Sunday in the Catholic Church.
So yeah, I've kind of swayedaway, but I mean I still believe
in you know, yeah, Orthodoxways and what have you. So I
(37:15):
think you brought up something Lydia,and I think it's so bad because social
media. It's the idea that theseguys are on social media and they're you
know, they just want you know, it's like we have such you know,
if I want food right now,I can order it and within twenty
minutes it's going to be delivered toour door. If you want to meet
somebody, you got the same exactpretty much thing going on, especially for
(37:37):
guys, and guys take advantage ofthat. And I don't get it.
And you know, I've had conversationswith our boys about it, and none
of our boys except actually one ofour boys, Jacob's probably the most out
of all of the other two boys, the other three boys. He's the
one that you use social media datingmore so, like he's dated more often.
(37:58):
Well, you don't know what theother two of done. Joe's told
me he hasn't. I don't know, and Luke is I don't think he
has. Well he's only eighteen.Yeah, meet kids organically at the bar
makes four decisions. But I've neverdated a guy who had Snapchat. Snapchat
to me is the end. I'llbe all of our generation because I've never
(38:21):
dated a guy who had Snapchat whodidn't use it to try to choose Wow,
And that's where a majority of myproblems have been in past relationships.
Is catching my ex boyfriend. Ohyeah, because there's adding girls, there's
just it just vanishes. You canliterally just talk to people that vanish.
I mean there are ways, butlike, because how would you guys catch
them? Oh? The notification willpop up? Oh my homeway, who's
(38:45):
Stephanie cool? My homeboy had ahidden boulder on his phone of all the
girl's profiles that he had saved screenshotsup because he couldn't follow them. But
that's how he would go back andmessage them with screenshot it and oh fu
yeah yeah, wow so much.But that's it is. And now the
only way you meet after a certainage and I like to say college because
(39:05):
I feel like that's where it ends. Is on these dating platforms, everybody's
already married or whatever, and theymeet people at work. And I'm not
dating anybody in this industry, Solike, where am I supposed to meet
people? Every time you go out, guys are with their girlfriends, Like
where where do I so? Thebars? People don't go to the bars
anymore or don't like that's not aI don't think so. Maybe that's just
(39:30):
not my scene, maybe whatever,But like I don't know, it's always
funny to me when we talk onsocial media, people are like Tinder for
a hook or on the show notsocial media. Tinder is for hookups,
and I'm like less six weddings Iwent to, We're all it's social.
So then it is that bad thesocial media dating? I don't think so.
But it's just it's so much harder, it's so much different, and
I feel like there's more rampant disloyaltythan there was in the past because it's
(39:54):
so easy. So I want toI want to go back to to Lydia
for this. I have no own. A lot of Chaldean families, like
parents, you know, that arereally good friends of mine who all they
want is their daughters to meet agood guy. And a couple of them
have actually, like not an arrangedmarriage, but have called family other family
(40:16):
friends and said, you know,you have a son that's an awesome guy,
like, can we set up?Does that still happen in the Kaldian
community very much? So it's usuallyset up that weddings now really where we've
had that? And actually I wasonly fifteen years old when a guy's family
approached my dad asking for when Iwas ready to marry their son. Wow,
(40:37):
so it still happens, yeah,And I could only imagine how intimidating
George is to actually, uh,like is he pretty intimidating with a he
is? It's just the look literallylike he would kill a man just by
his look. It's like he's sucha like a prominent man. I don't
know. So what would you saythat you're looking for in your life?
(41:02):
Like how do you cause I hearall this time like people will talk to
me about how do I get intoradio or how can I be successful?
And I used my radio career likethis. I always tried to do it
in five year spurts where I figuredwhat I was going to do for every
five years, and it wasn't necessarilythat I had to do it that way.
It was honestly, I hate tosay, well, I'm not gonna
(41:22):
hate to say this. I'm notgoing to discount my faith. I would
pray that this would happen to me. So every five years I would say,
all right, in five years,I want to be doing this,
and I would ask God to openup those doors for me and it and
it worked that way. I wouldsay that if I were to be single
today and be like my kid's age, I would do the same thing relationship
(41:42):
wise, here's what I want.I want to be here in the next
five years. And I hope Godputs something like this in my life for
me. When I'm looking for aguy, I'm thinking of more so just
a hard working, religious, loyalkind man. And that's all I've prayed
for, That's all I've wanted,I know. And it seems like having
(42:04):
or wanting those four to five qualitiesis nothing anymore. And have you noticed
because you don't date for a longtime, you're getting older and you're not
married or whatever, people will belike, well, what are your expectations?
Are your standards too high? I'mlike, I don't feel like the
standards are that high. Well,yeah, I think that they They probably
think my standards are too high.But at the same time I think that
(42:27):
now even you Megan like you're veryunderstanding to the way that men are.
You get it like it's it's hard. Men are not very good. I'm
learning act though, like I feelthat someone needs to make them. The
standard needs to be said higher andthey need to be called like, I
don't how is that even accepted?Maybe I should just go to Birmingham and
(42:49):
do a roundup of the married menwho sit at all the clubs and the
bars over the weekend and hit onthe single Keltian girls. Wow, that's
why. Here's that. And Ithink I come off and you say,
oh, all men are terrible.I actually feel completely the opposite. I
hate when people are like my manjust hates men. The two closest people
in my life to me are men. I love men. Men are my
favorite. My brother is my favoriteperson the entire world. I don't know
(43:12):
if you know this, A man, an idiot man, my favorite person
the home man. But I thinkthere's a difference between men in your life
that you can love and appreciate,coworkers, fathers, whatever. There's those
and the people that you date.And for some reason, the expectations for
dating now is just this disloyalty.But who sets those expectations? Like who
were they set by? Who?How did it go from? Because I
(43:36):
feel like somehow something was locked alongthe way, like how is it okay?
And I would say this for womentoo, because I think that there
are good men out there. Idon't think it's just all men are horrible.
I think that there are some womena good girl so fuck well?
I I just who who lowered thebar so drastically that this is what's out
(43:59):
there? I mean, is itself respect from them? It's that there
are no well because no, becauseI think that a lot of times once
you catch them, relationships do end. So I think it's just guys are
getting away with it because it's somuch easier to hide. Now you can
see it from a perspective of Isee these married men reaching out to my
(44:20):
single friends, so I know thatit's happening. Not necessarily, Why aren't
they being called out? Then theymight be, but maybe the wives are
saying, we talk about this onmore of the roses. On the first
one, I always be like,you need to leave, and everybody with
a different perspective, you don't knowif they have kids, if they need
to work it out, like whatlike maybe this is something you can get
past kind of like what you broughtup at the beginning, Like there's a
(44:42):
lot of big problems that it's like, what am I willing to fight through
and compromise on and work on andwell leave? Right? And I understand
that. I mean, but Iif there is married men who are sitting
at a bar trying to pick upon sing women, like I think I
would put their photo all over SoI don't know what I would What would
(45:06):
you do if one of those menwas one of our children? I mean
I would beat their ass. Yeah, if they were doing that, I
think that they But and I wouldask them what is wrong? What is
wrong with you inside of you rightnow that you feel you have to do
that? Why do you feel youhave to do that to it? Because
you're not just hurting you know,you're hurting yourself, You're hurting your spouse,
(45:29):
you're hurting, You're hurting a lotof people. This isn't just about
you wanting to get yourself pleasured tonight, like look inside of yourself, you
know, dig deep, figure itout, because you're hurting a bunch of
other people with us. I knowI have had numerous times with Lydia where
in Lydia's mom, please don't bemad at me for this, where I
(45:51):
will meet a guy like one ofLuke's friends who's he's Lydia's age, he's
twenty five years old Luke and golfswith them and stuff, And I'm like,
this guy would and Lydia would beso amazing together. And he's got
a girlfriend, and I'm like,God, I pray that he breaks up
with his girlfriend. He does,and I pray that he breaks up with
his girlfriend because I sit there andI think to myself, this guy is
(46:13):
great cal Dean. I know hismom would also would love him to be
in these dating a non Caldyan girl. I thought it would be incredible.
And then I thought, maybe youknow, who knows what we can Maybe
maybe he can get his girlfriend togo hang out in Birmingham and meet some
of those married men. Who knowsthe hell is going on? But I
like, I get Chelsea and Ido not have daughters. So I kind
(46:34):
of look at the women that arein our lives, our boyfriends or the
girlfriends of our sons, and thenthe girls that I work with, and
I say, God, if Ihad a daughter, you know what I
mean? Like I look at Meghan, and I think of Scott Mick and
how amazing of a daddy is,And to hear Megan's hurt like that,
it makes me as a as adad. Go God, I know that's
got to be so painful for himto hear that. And then to see
(46:54):
the dating, the bad dating thatyou know, Lydia could get herself into,
and I could see where if Iwas Georgia, I'd want to fucking
kill somebody, you know, Andyou probably want to kill somebody. Yeah,
I'm the strong one, are you? Yeah? I don't. I
wouldn't hesitate. What have you thoughtof the past boyfriends like that? Like
the last boyfriend, and I don'twant a pinpoint. And he's the only
(47:15):
guy I've known. But I lookedat him and I thought to myself,
he seemed like an decent guy.But then I hear these stories, I'm
like, Lydy, you can doso much better. Am I allowed to
comment on how you feel about him. Yeah, I mean there were days
that I really really enjoyed him.I thought that, you know, I
thought he was the one, Ojo. I thought he was the one.
Yeah, however, right now absolutelynot. I know she can do a
(47:39):
thousand times better and than what's goingon or what happened. But I will
say this to you since we're onthat subject, kind of sort of,
Yeah, I just want to tellyou that, for some strange reason,
in the back of my head,I do feel like you are going to
(48:00):
be the one that brings that personto her. Really, somehow, some
way. I tell her this timeand time again that I feel and I'm
not I'm not just saying it becauseI have been good at setting people up
and really want to. I'm sayingit. I really feel. I really
do feel like you know you youare around a lot of the Chaldean men,
(48:22):
and you do see the generation growingup, and I do know that
you know genuinely how she is asa person's is not a matchmaker Monther,
and I like, well, inAdvertario, this is where it's going to
come from. I do. Idon't know why, just thank you,
(48:43):
let me know, But let mesay this to you. We So we
went out on a breaking entering ChristmasWish lunch with a group of business people
and there were some Caldian guys there. One of the guys was so taken
by Lydia, not in the andthe point of taken by her that he's
had feelings for her, taken byher because he could sense right away Lydia's
(49:07):
heart, but also talked about Lydiawas wearing her cross and she was wearing
it on the outside of her shirt, and it was something that caught him
because nowadays, because of the world, a lot of people are afraid to
even talk their religion. I meaneverybody, whether you're Christian, Jewish or
Muslim, whatever you are, you'reafraid to talk about it because it brings
(49:29):
up nothing but political mess. Andhe was so taken by that, and
he actually was funny because he saidto me when Lydia had left, he
said, I wish that I knewsomebody that was good enough for her.
And he's only knew her for thetwo hours or whatever that we were together.
But that's the thing is that wedon't know the guys. I don't
know what the story is. Well, I think it's guys and girls.
(49:50):
I will say that one more time. It's really sad to me that it's,
you know, not a lot ofoptions out there. And you know,
I met him when I was seventeen, so don't you and your dad
hated me? Yeah, and hewas. He had every right too,
I mean, I know, Ithink about it all the time. He
did, he really did, redid, and we were too young,
like DJ, Yeah, it justhappened to work out for us, but
(50:12):
it or so far they're all knockingon something. But no, it makes
me feel sad, you know.And and again as a mother of younger
kids too, I look and Ithink it's it's not just the guy's a
lot of these girls. You're justlike who raised you? Like who raised
(50:37):
you? Because if these are mykids, I would just say to them,
this is not okay, Like youjust don't treat other people like that
like that. So that's the partthat I don't get. Like as a
mom, I would never. Iwould not. I would be so upset
if my kids treated other people thatway. I really would. It's funny
because you go into these relationships andyou go if you treated a client of
(51:02):
yours, no matter what your businessis like that you'd lose the business.
But yet in relationships, a lotof times you treat a person in your
relationship with and for some reason youkeep the relationship. It doesn't make any
sense. And maybe a lot ofit has to do with the fact that
there's a self esteem issue with alot of people. Their self esteem is
low to treat somebody like that,and the person who they're with, their
self esteem is low to stay withsomebody like that, And it's just a
(51:24):
shame. And honestly, this podcasthas been very deep. I have to
tell you something. It's funny wewent into this. No, we went
in this podcast. This is exactlywhat I kind of wanted, Like,
I kind of want this, andI don't want to end the podcast until
I talk a little bit more toLydia and Meghan. I want to ask
you two guys, as two peoplewho are coworkers but also friendly with each
(51:45):
other and very good. You know, we talk about how we try to
be a family, but realistically,you know, it's hard to be a
family when all you're doing is workingwith somebody and dealing with you know,
the work crap. Lydia, whenyou heard Megan talk and get emotional and
talk about her life. What wereyour feelings listening to that as somebody that's
(52:06):
in studio right next to her,I think it hurts me for her to
know that sometimes when you're working withsomeone or you're friends with someone, you
don't fully know what they're going through. Like I feel like I know Megan
inside and out, but then whenshe says these things, it makes me
feel like, I'm like, wherecan I help you know? Why have
(52:29):
I not noticed how you felt sooner? And it makes I felt the same
way too. It makes me supersad because we look at her and talk
to her, and we're with hereight to ten hours a day, and
I had no idea that you feltthat way about yourself, and I I'm
(52:50):
really sorry that you feel that way. And if there's anything that I could
ever do to change that, No, because it's supposed to be fun around
here, but your mental health isso important, not just to me,
but everybody on the show and everyonein this room. We love you so
much. I love you, guys. I love being here, and I
think it's made a big difference beinghere. I think that our listeners also
(53:14):
that your mental health is important tothem too, as much as there are
those that make your mental health probablyworse, there are a majority of the
listeners I feel like that are good. What did you think when you heard
Lydia talking about her you know lifeand and have her mom in hearing what
her mom's hoping for? Love her. Her mom is the nicest person in
the entire world. To me,I've asked multiple times for her to adapt
(53:36):
me. Does it Does it makeyou a little jealous when you see like
somebody like Chelsea and somebody like Lydia'smom? Do you I don't get jealous
because I have that relationship with mydad, so I get it and I
cherish it, so i'm it makesme happy. I get sad for people
who don't have a relationship like thatwith their family, not that it's necessary,
(53:59):
because like I hate when I talklike this, listen. I have
one parent I obviously really have noconnection with, and that is sad.
But I have great family relationships too. But I also understand healthy boundaries and
sometimes being close to somebody who ismean to you or doesn't cherish you or
treat you right does not just meanlike you should because they're family. I
(54:19):
don't believe that, but I thinkwhen you do have family you connect with
and are close with and really enjoybeing around, just to realize how lucky
that is and shareish it. Sono, I'm not jealous. I'm happy
for them. I think I havea lot of strong women in my life
that I'm able to rely on,So I feel lucky. Why are you
(54:42):
crying then? I don't know?This is? This is it's very emotional.
Yeah, well you always you haveus m oh, absolutely know and
we love you. Yeah, Ilove you, guys. I thought we
were going to shoot the ship.I just told stupid jokes. Are you
(55:04):
opposed in the Keldy and faith ofLydia, Mary and Meghan, she'll become
Kelsey. No but no, truly, when you were talking about setting people
up on like weddings and stuff,I know some people find that shocking,
but at this point in my life, I truly have auditioned twice to be
on Love Is Blind because I'm likeso on the whole, Like, I'd
rather give that a shot than keepdoing what we're doing now. I told
(55:25):
Chelsea, if God forbid, shedie in an accident, which I'm not
saying that she's going to because thethird time you have said it on there.
No Now I'm gonna be asking forall these witnesses to come forward,
but I'm going I'm going on ninetyDay Fiance, So I will ninety day
Fiance it because I have had towatch that show because of Chelsea. I
love ninety Day. But I'm goingto Venezuela or I love it and I'm
(55:47):
finding some big boobed you know.It's lots of injections in her button lips
and I'm bringing her hair and I'mgoing to live next to that guy from
Canton, Michigan that has what's hisname now? And Jasmine. Yeah,
I love that show. Will youlet me take a break from the show
to do Love Is Blind? Iwould, I would because it would bring
(56:08):
so much entertainment to us afterwards.Hopefully the break would be over at the
Christmas break Well, yes I will, but only for three days, not
during sweeps. What tiving he A? I listen, I say this that
we're going to end this thing.But we just did some really cool stuff.
By all the gifts that were broughtin, we packed them up and
(56:30):
we got we we did so there'sthree groups of families that we worked on
gifts for today, And honestly,I look at it and I go their
lives are going through really tough timeright now. Hopefully what we did for
them today makes their life that muchbetter. But I think our lives are
all get better by you guys talkingto the listeners on this podcast today.
(56:51):
That's pretty cool. Maybe there's someChaldean dude out there right now that's like
the podcast on a corner in astreet in Birmingham Market or something, or
twenty twenty Chelsea, let's go,let's do a podcast from there. Oh
that would be a live broadcast potcould you imagine that? So are you
(57:15):
twenty? That would go crazy?But you've been doing these date nights.
But one of your date nights wasgoing to Oh my God, Witness.
But it has to end early becauseI get so tired. Can I tell
you though? The thing that's thatamazes me. And we've had struggles in
our relationship, and when we've hadstruggles, I've gone out and hung out
(57:36):
with my single friends. Is thatwhy you said? Is that market?
Well that you had been there?Let me tell you something. When you
go out to places like that youmake it makes you realize how it's better
just be miserable at home. I'mjust kidding. I'm just kidding. No
no, no, no no,someone's going to kick you. She's a
good Christian woman. All right.That does it for the We Downed podcast.
(57:59):
By the way, we gave themnearly sixty minutes. Oh wow,
wow, this is amazing.
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