Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Coming up on this episode of the We Don't Podcast,
there's a new trend that seems to be happening that
I'm praying to God doesn't happen in our family's life. Okay,
you would probably pray to God that it will happen. Okay,
we'll explain it coming up in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Look at you, Chelsea, looking beautiful, looking wonderful. What do
you want nothing, I'm just trying to be connected to you.
I'm trying to make sure. By the way, on the
last podcast, we were talking about how men want sex,
women want emotional connection. So I emotionally been trying to
connect this week by helping you do the laundry. Have
(01:11):
I done an okay job? With that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You've done an okay job.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So there's a new trend that is going on. I
want to start this off that seems to be happening
more and more among most Gen Z and millennial kids,
and I wanted to see what your thoughts were if
this were to happen to us, we have not experienced
it yet. But a new study, a Pew Research Center
(01:35):
study of government data says that parents who have kids
that are between the ages of twenty five and thirty
four years old are finding that those thirty five or
twenty five to thirty four year olds thirty four think
about this, are moving back in with their kids or
(01:56):
with their parents. The kids are moving back in with
their parents.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Are they single kids or are they bringing other people
with them?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Interesting that you say that not always are those that
are moving in single. Sometimes it's them moving in with
significant others and sometimes even moving in with their own kids.
So basically your kids, you know, or for those that
listen to this podcast who are maybe this age you
(02:24):
moving back in with your parents and you're bringing a
boyfriend or a girlfriend along with you or possibly.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
A child, I would draw the line. If it's a
boyfriend or girlfriend, that's not happening. I mean, if they're married,
that's another thing, But you're not coming back home and
bringing your girlfriend or boyfriend. I don't care how long
they already got have because I am not taking care
of and listen. As hard as it has been to
(02:51):
have my boys leave. It is really nice that I
am only picking up now after two people and not five.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
You know, I.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Admittedly did a horrible job with the boys and making
them pick up after themselves, and so now I'm really
only picking up after two people. You know, when I
go through the kitchen quickly, you're pretty good about picking
up after yourself, but there are sometimes that you don't.
And so I'm only doing it for two people. If
(03:25):
it would irritate the shit out of me if my
adult children came home and which when they are home
and they leave water bottles ever, like I do like
my house look in a certain way when I go
to bed, and having it look a certain way all day,
bring in all these other people, and you know, your
your schedule is interrupted, your day to day everything is interrupted.
(03:49):
I would love, in an ideal world, love to have
all five of us under the same roof, but that
would be a dream, like to go back to when
they were little.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, we founded for COVID, Remember twenty twenty year we
had well.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Joe was living here but he was in his apartment. Yeah,
and his girlfriend had to move in with him because
her dad had cancer.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So for them to be together was so.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, she didn't want to get her dad's Yeah, he
was going through chemotherapy, so Katie had to live with Joe. Yeah,
and so we would see each other, like they would
just come over here because she was working from home
and he was only going into the radio station. You
would go into the radio station, and we had Easter
(04:35):
here together, Like there were things that we did do
here with them, and she was They didn't move back
in though.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Here's what I find interesting about your saying, you know,
you'd be okay with this, but they could not move
in with their significant other.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
They weren't. They can go the parents' house.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
You are one that pushes for them to not jump
into a marriage like you would much rather them have
long term relationships, stay together and then wait until they're
a little bit older before they decide to get married. Yeah,
you're pretty on record with that, even with the boys
million because I'm assuming because we both jumped into a
(05:13):
relationship so fast. So that's interesting that if.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
It doesn't mean that they can come and live here
with them, Yeah, I am. If you are strugg listen,
this home is your home. This will always be home
base and until you are married I'm not going to
take on other people if they're married.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
That is totally different.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Of course, I would take my daughter in law or
son in law and bring them into my home. One
million person, you have to be married, though, I'm not
taking you in If you're not. I'm sorry, I'm just not.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We moved in with your parents for how long? Was
it a couple of months? It was only a couple months, yes,
because okay, because we were saving to buy a house.
Was our first house. We bought a house, and we
didn't have the down payment fully, so we needed to
save rent some of our rent.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Money to they were building.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
They were building the house, and my parents said, just
come and live with us for a couple of months
until your house is done. Our lease was up on
our apartment and so instead of so yeah, we saved
for a couple of months. We only lived there a
couple of months at the end of my pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And I remember my friends giving me so much shit, like,
you're moving in with Chelsea's parents, you know, how weird
is this? Are you sleeping in the little bed? You know?
Because they thought that we were still just sleeping in
your bed, and they were giving me crap bout it. Nowadays,
I feel like it is the norm where you get
done with college and you go right back to your
(06:46):
parents' house.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Joey came here after college well in.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Our uh, our generation, but.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
He did not bring a girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Okay, we came here. But in our generation, though, it
was if you went back to your parents' house after
college failure kind of did look at that as a
failing situation. Yeah, and honestly in our generation, and I
want to say, in our kid you know, at our time,
but when our generation too, if you like, once you
got into high school, if you didn't go to college,
you moved out of your parents' house, right like I
(07:13):
knew some guys eighteen they were done, like they moved
out and they didn't go to college. It seems like nowadays,
and I know, financially things are tough. Are definitely well,
I see this is the thing. I think they're tough.
I don't know if they're tougher things.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I think things are more expensive and has has the but.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Things also cost less though too thin or you made
you know, I'm saying when you say more expensive, you
things were things were Definitely things are more expensive, but
people make more money nowadays.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
They do make more money, but I don't know if
it is to the extent or it matches up the
same way that it.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think things are relative.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well see, but I kind of disagree a little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And I will give Joe as an example, because at
his age, at twenty nine, at your when you were
twenty nine, we had two children, it was a lot
more affordable to buy a home then than it is now.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I mean, you have to, well, it was more affordable
to buy a home four years ago, well than it
is right now.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I'm just saying, and I think.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Because our because our house, the first house that we
ever bought, our interest rate in our house was, you
was a lot more than what the interest rate is nowadays.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
You for sure it was.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But you also could not find a three bedroom house
for one hundred and five a brand new three bedroom
home that you built, twelve hundred square feet for one
hundred and five thousand dollars. You just go find it,
show it to me. Right now, you're not going to
be able to find it. And I think that, you know,
(08:52):
just times are different, and it is a lot harder.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It is a lot harder.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
But having said that, I think that there are are you?
Sometimes people use that as a crutch and they also
want to live larger than life. So we had to
make our home a priority, make our kids. Like at
twenty one, I became a mother, at twenty four, you
(09:18):
became a father. So our priority wasn't the external stuff.
It was internal and it was our goals get a home,
and it was important that I stayed home with the kids,
and so we just it was different. We didn't have
a lot of the outside toys, nor did we have
a lot of the outside pressure.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I remember that.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
And we didn't have a lot of the outside pressure
where you had to compare yourself to all of these
other people, Like really, you're comparing yourself to your peers
and you're little sorry, our dog is barking, that's right,
little group inside of not not apologizing, I just I
think that there's a lot of pressure and a lot
(09:58):
more all these influencers telling what you're telling you what
your life should be like and telling you, yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Think there's list Russure, if I had only fans when
you and I first got married, we never would have
moved in with your parents. I'd be only fans in it.
I would had all only fans. No, if I had
only fans, I would be selling my feet.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Pictures, would buy your feet pictures.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I would tell your feet pictures. Okay, So with everybody
coming back home and people coming back home, yeah, and
then families coming back home, meaning you know, married couples
with their kids coming back home. Why is it that
we don't do it like they do in Europe where
you'll see a lot of European families that every the
(10:41):
generations will live with each other. Like, I wonder why
that doesn't happen here in the States. Henry Quiet doing
a podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I'm not sure why that doesn't happen, but I I mean,
but then you just expect it. It's in your I
think also, it's like you reach these milestones in your
life where you know, Okay, I've put my kids through college.
If you're blessed enough to do that, Okay, I've put
them through college, and you've given them the step to go, Okay,
you need to take your next step in life, and
we're shake my hands of you, and we're happy for you,
(11:12):
and you know we're gonna go get to live our lives.
I think that, honestly, if kids started coming back later
in life, I might be a little bit like you
are more than welcome to live here one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Would you set a time limit.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I don't know if I've had a time limit, but
I would have expectations like you're an adult, and guess what.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You're gonna help with bills.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
I won't even say that so much it could save
your money to get the hell out again. But what
I would say, and what I would do, is you're
contributing to stuff around this house like you are a
big kid. And by all means yes, I love having
you all home, and I love when they're all like
I cannot wait to have them here again, But they
(11:56):
need to contribute. I'm not I was your mommy a
long time ago. I'm your mom's slashroom mate now, so
man up and start. You need to be responsible for
some stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
What would you do if I told you that? And
this is hypothetical, it's not true, But if I said,
because we have we do have empty rooms here in
our house with Joe and Jacob not here and list
it's a holiday. What if I said, hey, Zach's having
a hard time. He needs a place you mind if
he stays with us for like six months.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I mean, I would say, he's not getting a room upstairs,
He's going to have to go to the basement.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Yeah, and not.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And by the way, it's a nice basement, like everyone
loves when they come here, and they say, in the basement.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
But be weird for you to see that.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
It would be very weird.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
But I would also, you know, I would just be like, hey,
you're more than welcome. But again, I think I would
just you'd want to have some kind of like this is.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I know, I know it sounds weird my house.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Why are you telling me that? Something says I wouldn't put.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
No, But that's like your mom and dad are like
that kind of people, Like they've let just random stay
with them in their house. And then there are times
when I know, like I look at Zach, and Zach's
had some you know, roommate stuff going on, and so
he's had issues and I look at him and I go,
you know, his mom and dad are both not in
(13:23):
his life. His mom passed away, you know, his dad's
out of his life. But I look at him and
I go, God, this kid is such a good kid.
It just needs a break, you know what I mean,
Like it does bother me because I look at the
lives of our boys sometimes in Zach's not the only one.
There's many, you know, people that have been in our
lives that I sit there and I think, God, if
(13:43):
they were our kids, you know what would what would
be a little bit different? You know, Zach actually has
kicked ass. His sister's been there to step up and yeah,
she takes them in when he needs help and stuff
like that, and they have an amazing relationship. But I
look at so many times these you know, people that
don't have anybody like I thank God that our kids
have the ability to know there's a safety net if
(14:05):
they need.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I think for you, if you invited someone to come
and live in our home that works with you, it
would wear on you before it wore on me. So
I you know, I would, and quite honestly, I'd probably
leave and just like, sure, we live here, but I
you know, because I've come to it's really nice.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I love when people stay here, but then when they leave,
it feels either.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yea, no, no, I just yeah, that would honestly, that
might be a little hard for me to have someone.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
That you don't know, that's not blood related.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Yeah, I love Zach, but I really don't know him.
I've been around him a couple of times. That would
be a little weird for me.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
All right, here's the next part of that Pew survey,
because this is even more interesting. Okay, more women are
ditching the idea of marriage. The traditional idea of marriage
is not on the tops of minds of women. Instead,
they're choosing a life that is more of a single
life that best fits their needs. According to this survey,
(15:04):
almost half of US women didn't view marriage as important.
They said that they didn't think that that would be
something that would fulfill their lives, and thirty four percent
of singles say that they were looking they were only
thirty four percent of singles were saying that they were
looking at a serious relationship as growing further in marriage,
(15:25):
where the majority of them said no, I'll keep it
just the way that it is right now. And as
far as the amount of women wanting to have children,
we've just experienced some of the lowest levels of birth
rate that we've had in the United States. On the
tops of minds of women who are between the ages
of eighteen and forty, it's the lowest amount of women
(15:47):
that say that they look to have a baby, where
majority of women used to say it. Actually, I think
the level was like seventy plus percent of women said
they want to have a kid. Now the levels more
closer towards like sixty percent.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
So well, I will tell you this. The marriage thing
I understand. I I get that I get. And this
is like, again from the majority of people that I
talk to who are married. You know, we all go
through it and it's like, Okay, why why did we
(16:22):
get married?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Every time you talk about marriage in this podcast, it
makes everybody think we have the worst marriage.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Actually though, and then I get a ton of dms
from women that say, I swear we are in the
same relationship. I swear, you know, thank you for being
so honest. I'm not sitting in here saying I am
depressed and miserable in my marriage, because actually I'm not.
We got into a huge fight a while ago, you know,
a couple weeks ago, and I said to you, I
(16:51):
am not miserable, Like, this is part of being married.
So if I was miserable, I would hope that I
would be strong enough to just say, Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
We're done.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
So misery is not where I am, right currently today,
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I am
not miserable right now. I just think I'm realistic, you know.
I it makes me sad when I hear women say
that they don't want children, because I will tell you,
I will tell you this. The greatest joy that I
(17:27):
have in my life, and this will make me cry
are my boys. Like I cannot imagine my life without them.
I just can't and describe that why.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
It is.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Like I'm I wearing your heart outside of your body,
and it is the toughest thing I've ever done, because
letting them go has been so hard, but it has
been the greatest honor and greatest privilege raising those three boys.
Like I feel I have done so many wrong things
(18:07):
in my life, but they're those three are three things
that I have done right.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I am.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
I'm not a good wife. You know, I'm not a
perfect wife. I'm not, but I know I'm a damn
good mother. Not perfect, but I know that I am.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
A damn good mom.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
And those boys, whether this is right or not, those boys,
it's an unconditional love that I have for them. I've
said before, our love is conditional, but my love for
my children is unconditional, and I cannot imagine my life
without them.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I I don't think I would feel fulfilled. I certainly
would not be the person who I am today. They
have taught me how to be humble, They have taught
me patience, they have taught me love, and I.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
That makes me so sad at the end of my life.
I would hope God willing that all three are there,
you know, and because you know, I don't know if
you'll die before me or follow die before you, But
I just I want like that, and I want to
(19:35):
know that they know how much they are loved by me.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Them well I do. I tell them all the time podcast. No,
I do.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Well, they know I feel silly saying it on this podcast,
but they know. They know I tell them all of
the time.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Tell each other. And I'm not doing this because you're
emotional right now?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yes you are, Yes you are. You're doing this beautiful.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
For me to hear this each one individually. Tell us.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I'm not going to do that because I know what
you're trying to do.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, I swear to you, I'm not doing it for
that reason. I'm doing it because last week you talked
about on the podcast that all we are is a
digital image, and that's what we're gonna end up being.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
This is an audible but I won't but but this
is but I know I won't be a digit.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
But this is the thing.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
I know that I hopefully have made three children or
three three lives. No unconditional love. No, oh my gosh,
there was a huge owl that just flew by our house.
Unconditional love.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
They know.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
That there is someone always there to support them, to
know that no matter they always have a soft spot
spot to land. They always, ironically enough with this podcast,
can come home and have a place to come home to.
Don't bring your girlfriend and boyfriend, but you can come
home with your wives and husband's husband if you need to.
(21:05):
I just I want them, and I think that they
know I am their biggest fan. I always tell them
I am your biggest fan. I will be your loudest cheerleader.
And no one, by the way, no one will love
you the way that I love you.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
You know.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I from the moment I found out I was pregnant
with each one of them, the moment I heard their
first heartbeat, the moment when I gave birth to them
and got to look in each of their eyes for
the first time. And it's just this bond that I
am so eternally grateful that I get to have with them.
(21:45):
I can't imagine not halving them in my life. And
it makes me sad. And it's a choice. You know,
women are going to choose not to have that. It
just makes because you don't know until you're in it,
you don't know it is.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's hard.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
It's raising kids. It's so hard, but it is the
most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
You said, an owl just flew by our house. I
look up. What do owls represent? They represent wisdom, knowledge, insight,
They are nocturnal, they have keen eyesight. But this is
the part that I think is so interesting is the
ability in the symbols of an owl. In spiritual cultures,
(22:32):
they are protectors against harm. Isn't that interesting? Here we
are it kind of sounds like a mom Yeah, that's
pretty uh, that's pretty well. On the dark side, they
also represent bad omens and even death. I God of love.
When I see you.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Cry, I know you don't. That's kind of twisted.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I love I love how much you love our boys
and I love how much you are loving being a mother,
and I think that that's huge because you, in the
last five ten years have gone through such a transitional
period with being a mom, because they've grown into men,
(23:22):
and it's also a time where they've grown into other relationships.
And it's been difficult to see the boys go through
different transitions like this because I know how difficult it
is sometimes for you, and I think that it's pretty
cool for them to know how much it means to
(23:45):
you that they are in your life, because then they
always will know that they have you and that you
will be there for them. It's pretty cool. I say,
fuck those kids now.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
As long as I am breathing like that, I will
take my last My last breath would be for them
for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, that's cool. And you know, one of the coolest things.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
That mine we went totally off your topic, no, no.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
But I think one of the coolest things that I
think this podcast does too is it gives our experience.
And we talk a lot of times about marriage and
how difficult it is. It's neat to hear that in
not saying that raising kids isn't difficult. It's extremely difficult,
but it also extremely rewarding and sometimes honest honestly, both
(24:38):
are rewarding when they're they're doing great, but I feel
like the kids make things more rewarding.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Well, I yes, and I've been very lucky that I
have great relationships with my kids.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That isn't always the case, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
I am super, super lucky that I have a great
relationship and differently relationships with each boy, you know, and
it's again, it's so fulfilling to me, and so it
brings me such joy. And that does make me sad
that some women don't get to experience because they can't
(25:15):
or some women choose not to. And I don't know
why it makes me sad because that's their choice. But
I just feel there is nothing like feeling your baby
move and your stomach for the first time. You know,
at the end, it's miserable, but it's just it's the
most amazing thing, and you just have this special bond
(25:39):
are you know. And maybe every woman doesn't feel the
way that I do, but I just feel that. And
I'm sure it's different boys boy moms and girl mom relationships,
but I just feel so blessed that I was trusted
with these boys, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Gives me sadness whenever I see we do this Mojo
gives you a baby promotion and we're giving away IVF
and it's such a like.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
We took that for granted.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
It's crazy because and I look at these families. I'm
reading through these letters and I'm meeting a lot of
these people that you know, it's expensive as hell, Like
you think of the amount of money that many people are,
you know, trying to come up with just to be
able to get pregnant. And I cannot tell you how
much it bothers me. And I have a huge faith
(26:33):
in God and you know, and our Lord, and one
of the things I want to know one day, you know,
is I always want to know, why did you take
that young mom away from those young kids? And why
did you do this where you gave you know, you
there's some people that are just horrible people that have
(26:55):
tons of kids, and then you have these great you know,
mother or this potential father that can't have kids, and
I just don't get it. And you know, I know
there's biblical meaning to everything, and somebody will probably send
me a Bible verse, but I'd love to be able
to figure that out because it just makes no sense.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Yeah, well okay, anyway, so back to the topic. Back
to the topic, which is the people are not with us, the.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Kids are moving back in with us, and.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Well no, the second part was the marriage.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So I do why are they not wanting to get married?
Speaker 4 (27:35):
You know, it might be expensive, it might be a
lot of that. I think that, and also maybe they
had traumatized. They came from traumatized. I think when people
stay in a marriage, a bad marriage, it can traumatize
their children, and their children are probably like I'm not
going down that road and I'm not doing that. Or
it also could be they're so focused on their careers
(27:58):
and that's just what they focus us on, and suddenly
you're forty or fifty and you're not married yet and
you're really set in your ways, and I don't know,
I just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
They answer questions in this survey where they say, I
don't want to get married, I want nothing to do
with marriage, And a lot of it is that it's
tough to date that nowadays, dating has become because when I,
you know, talk to some of the people that are
on our show and I have conversations with them and
their feelings towards relationships, their feelings towards relationships go the
(28:34):
way that they're dating has gone, And I like, I
look at there's some that go on on dates and
they're in such, you know, horrible situations where these guys
are just such assholes. On these apps, you know, they
(28:56):
become I don't know, they become more willing to kind
of just discard another person where I think that I
don't think dating.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Also, I think you're hearing that from the girls point
of view. By the way, where they're telling you what's going.
I'm not dismissing them and saying that they're wrong, but
it would be interesting to know what the guy's point
of view of that is and how and how women
treat them on so on these dating apps, like you're
(29:26):
you're just hearing the girls point of view. And by
the way, when you and I tell the same situation
but our versions of it, it's always gonna I'm gonna,
you know what I mean, Like I think that you
have to You're you're just hearing the girls side. It'd
be very interesting to hear the guy's side.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Well. It's a great point because in a lot of
these different dating apps, the woman calls the shots until
the after the first date okay, and then a lot
of times the bad relationship or the bad or that
bad date is turns bad because the girls go this
(30:03):
guy was a loser or whatever, or this guy did
something well this.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You know.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
By the way, I really stand by this. I think
that social media has ruined us as a society. The
phones have ruined us as a society. Like we we
we're not as genuine of people as we used to
be because we don't have to. And you can dismiss people.
You judge them right off the bat by their looks
and how they present themselves.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Well, you go right to social media, or you go
to Google and you google the person. Yeah, where we
had to actually physically have conversations with.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
You, yeah, and get to know the person. Yes, And
I think you dismiss so much just by first glance
and by you know that that is just it's horrible,
you know, or what they how they're posing in a picture,
and what they choose to like.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I do hear a lot of.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
People talk about that, you know, they they the swiping
from just I mean, yes, you do need to be
attracted to them, for sure, but you also could really
get to know that because I'm tell you look to
change all the time. You know, you can't always just
go off of looks and that beer.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I had a lot of glow up in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
You did? You did?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You've actually much better. You've aged fifty four year old
man than I was a twenty one year old when
I met you. I was twenty year old?
Speaker 3 (31:28):
What was my problem?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
You know what's funny is, uh we always were told
don't judge a book by its cover, right, right, But
basically dating apps is purely.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
By judging the judging the book by the cover.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I know, all right, Well that does it for this podcast.
We got a tear out of you. It was wonderful.
It made me feel good. I hope our boys use it.
Luke will probably call you up and say, can you
send me more money for alcohol?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yes,
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Coming up on this episode of the We Don't Podcast,
there's a new trend that seems to be happening that
I'm praying to God doesn't happen in our family's life. Okay,
you would probably pray to God that it will happen. Okay,
we'll explain it coming up in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Look at you, Chelsea, looking beautiful, looking wonderful. What do
you want nothing, I'm just trying to be connected to you.
I'm trying to make sure. By the way, on the
last podcast, we were talking about how men want sex,
women want emotional connection. So I emotionally been trying to
connect this week by helping you do the laundry. Have
(01:11):
I done an okay job? With that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You've done an okay job.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So there's a new trend that is going on. I
want to start this off that seems to be happening
more and more among most Gen Z and millennial kids,
and I wanted to see what your thoughts were if
this were to happen to us, we have not experienced
it yet. But a new study, a Pew Research Center
(01:35):
study of government data says that parents who have kids
that are between the ages of twenty five and thirty
four years old are finding that those thirty five or
twenty five to thirty four year olds thirty four think
about this, are moving back in with their kids or
(01:56):
with their parents. The kids are moving back in with
their parents.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Are they single kids or are they bringing other people
with them?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Interesting that you say that not always are those that
are moving in single. Sometimes it's them moving in with
significant others and sometimes even moving in with their own kids.
So basically your kids, you know, or for those that
listen to this podcast who are maybe this age you
(02:24):
moving back in with your parents and you're bringing a
boyfriend or a girlfriend along with you or possibly.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
A child, I would draw the line. If it's a
boyfriend or girlfriend, that's not happening. I mean, if they're married,
that's another thing, But you're not coming back home and
bringing your girlfriend or boyfriend. I don't care how long
they already got have because I am not taking care
of and listen. As hard as it has been to
(02:51):
have my boys leave. It is really nice that I
am only picking up now after two people and not five.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
You know, I.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Admittedly did a horrible job with the boys and making
them pick up after themselves, and so now I'm really
only picking up after two people. You know, when I
go through the kitchen quickly, you're pretty good about picking
up after yourself, but there are sometimes that you don't.
And so I'm only doing it for two people. If
(03:25):
it would irritate the shit out of me if my
adult children came home and which when they are home
and they leave water bottles ever, like I do like
my house look in a certain way when I go
to bed, and having it look a certain way all day,
bring in all these other people, and you know, your
your schedule is interrupted, your day to day everything is interrupted.
(03:49):
I would love, in an ideal world, love to have
all five of us under the same roof, but that
would be a dream, like to go back to when
they were little.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, we founded for COVID, Remember twenty twenty year we
had well.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Joe was living here but he was in his apartment. Yeah,
and his girlfriend had to move in with him because
her dad had cancer.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So for them to be together was so.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, she didn't want to get her dad's Yeah, he
was going through chemotherapy, so Katie had to live with Joe. Yeah,
and so we would see each other, like they would
just come over here because she was working from home
and he was only going into the radio station. You
would go into the radio station, and we had Easter
(04:35):
here together, Like there were things that we did do
here with them, and she was They didn't move back
in though.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Here's what I find interesting about your saying, you know,
you'd be okay with this, but they could not move
in with their significant other.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
They weren't. They can go the parents' house.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
You are one that pushes for them to not jump
into a marriage like you would much rather them have
long term relationships, stay together and then wait until they're
a little bit older before they decide to get married. Yeah,
you're pretty on record with that, even with the boys
million because I'm assuming because we both jumped into a
(05:13):
relationship so fast. So that's interesting that if.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
It doesn't mean that they can come and live here
with them, Yeah, I am. If you are strugg listen,
this home is your home. This will always be home
base and until you are married I'm not going to
take on other people if they're married.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
That is totally different.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Of course, I would take my daughter in law or
son in law and bring them into my home. One
million person, you have to be married, though, I'm not
taking you in If you're not. I'm sorry, I'm just not.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We moved in with your parents for how long? Was
it a couple of months? It was only a couple months, yes,
because okay, because we were saving to buy a house.
Was our first house. We bought a house, and we
didn't have the down payment fully, so we needed to
save rent some of our rent.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Money to they were building.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
They were building the house, and my parents said, just
come and live with us for a couple of months
until your house is done. Our lease was up on
our apartment and so instead of so yeah, we saved
for a couple of months. We only lived there a
couple of months at the end of my pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And I remember my friends giving me so much shit, like,
you're moving in with Chelsea's parents, you know, how weird
is this? Are you sleeping in the little bed? You know?
Because they thought that we were still just sleeping in
your bed, and they were giving me crap bout it. Nowadays,
I feel like it is the norm where you get
done with college and you go right back to your
(06:46):
parents' house.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Joey came here after college well in.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Our uh, our generation, but.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
He did not bring a girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Okay, we came here. But in our generation, though, it
was if you went back to your parents' house after
college failure kind of did look at that as a
failing situation. Yeah, and honestly in our generation, and I
want to say, in our kid you know, at our time,
but when our generation too, if you like, once you
got into high school, if you didn't go to college,
you moved out of your parents' house, right like I
(07:13):
knew some guys eighteen they were done, like they moved
out and they didn't go to college. It seems like nowadays,
and I know, financially things are tough. Are definitely well,
I see this is the thing. I think they're tough.
I don't know if they're tougher things.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I think things are more expensive and has has the but.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Things also cost less though too thin or you made
you know, I'm saying when you say more expensive, you
things were things were Definitely things are more expensive, but
people make more money nowadays.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
They do make more money, but I don't know if
it is to the extent or it matches up the
same way that it.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think things are relative.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well see, but I kind of disagree a little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And I will give Joe as an example, because at
his age, at twenty nine, at your when you were
twenty nine, we had two children, it was a lot
more affordable to buy a home then than it is now.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I mean, you have to, well, it was more affordable
to buy a home four years ago, well than it
is right now.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I'm just saying, and I think.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Because our because our house, the first house that we
ever bought, our interest rate in our house was, you
was a lot more than what the interest rate is nowadays.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
You for sure it was.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But you also could not find a three bedroom house
for one hundred and five a brand new three bedroom
home that you built, twelve hundred square feet for one
hundred and five thousand dollars. You just go find it,
show it to me. Right now, you're not going to
be able to find it. And I think that, you know,
(08:52):
just times are different, and it is a lot harder.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It is a lot harder.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
But having said that, I think that there are are you?
Sometimes people use that as a crutch and they also
want to live larger than life. So we had to
make our home a priority, make our kids. Like at
twenty one, I became a mother, at twenty four, you
(09:18):
became a father. So our priority wasn't the external stuff.
It was internal and it was our goals get a home,
and it was important that I stayed home with the kids,
and so we just it was different. We didn't have
a lot of the outside toys, nor did we have
a lot of the outside pressure.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I remember that.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
And we didn't have a lot of the outside pressure
where you had to compare yourself to all of these
other people, Like really, you're comparing yourself to your peers
and you're little sorry, our dog is barking, that's right,
little group inside of not not apologizing, I just I
think that there's a lot of pressure and a lot
(09:58):
more all these influencers telling what you're telling you what
your life should be like and telling you, yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Think there's list Russure, if I had only fans when
you and I first got married, we never would have
moved in with your parents. I'd be only fans in it.
I would had all only fans. No, if I had
only fans, I would be selling my feet.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Pictures, would buy your feet pictures.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I would tell your feet pictures. Okay, So with everybody
coming back home and people coming back home, yeah, and
then families coming back home, meaning you know, married couples
with their kids coming back home. Why is it that
we don't do it like they do in Europe where
you'll see a lot of European families that every the
(10:41):
generations will live with each other. Like, I wonder why
that doesn't happen here in the States. Henry Quiet doing
a podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I'm not sure why that doesn't happen, but I I mean,
but then you just expect it. It's in your I
think also, it's like you reach these milestones in your
life where you know, Okay, I've put my kids through college.
If you're blessed enough to do that, Okay, I've put
them through college, and you've given them the step to go, Okay,
you need to take your next step in life, and
we're shake my hands of you, and we're happy for you,
(11:12):
and you know we're gonna go get to live our lives.
I think that, honestly, if kids started coming back later
in life, I might be a little bit like you
are more than welcome to live here one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Would you set a time limit.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I don't know if I've had a time limit, but
I would have expectations like you're an adult, and guess what.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You're gonna help with bills.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
I won't even say that so much it could save
your money to get the hell out again. But what
I would say, and what I would do, is you're
contributing to stuff around this house like you are a
big kid. And by all means yes, I love having
you all home, and I love when they're all like
I cannot wait to have them here again, But they
(11:56):
need to contribute. I'm not I was your mommy a
long time ago. I'm your mom's slashroom mate now, so
man up and start. You need to be responsible for
some stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
What would you do if I told you that? And
this is hypothetical, it's not true, But if I said,
because we have we do have empty rooms here in
our house with Joe and Jacob not here and list
it's a holiday. What if I said, hey, Zach's having
a hard time. He needs a place you mind if
he stays with us for like six months.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
I mean, I would say, he's not getting a room upstairs,
He's going to have to go to the basement.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Yeah, and not.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And by the way, it's a nice basement, like everyone
loves when they come here, and they say, in the basement.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
But be weird for you to see that.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
It would be very weird.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
But I would also, you know, I would just be like, hey,
you're more than welcome. But again, I think I would
just you'd want to have some kind of like this is.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I know, I know it sounds weird my house.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Why are you telling me that? Something says I wouldn't put.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
No, But that's like your mom and dad are like
that kind of people, Like they've let just random stay
with them in their house. And then there are times
when I know, like I look at Zach, and Zach's
had some you know, roommate stuff going on, and so
he's had issues and I look at him and I go,
you know, his mom and dad are both not in
(13:23):
his life. His mom passed away, you know, his dad's
out of his life. But I look at him and
I go, God, this kid is such a good kid.
It just needs a break, you know what I mean,
Like it does bother me because I look at the
lives of our boys sometimes in Zach's not the only one.
There's many, you know, people that have been in our
lives that I sit there and I think, God, if
(13:43):
they were our kids, you know what would what would
be a little bit different? You know, Zach actually has
kicked ass. His sister's been there to step up and yeah,
she takes them in when he needs help and stuff
like that, and they have an amazing relationship. But I
look at so many times these you know, people that
don't have anybody like I thank God that our kids
have the ability to know there's a safety net if
(14:05):
they need.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I think for you, if you invited someone to come
and live in our home that works with you, it
would wear on you before it wore on me. So
I you know, I would, and quite honestly, I'd probably
leave and just like, sure, we live here, but I
you know, because I've come to it's really nice.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I love when people stay here, but then when they leave,
it feels either.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yea, no, no, I just yeah, that would honestly, that
might be a little hard for me to have someone.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
That you don't know, that's not blood related.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Yeah, I love Zach, but I really don't know him.
I've been around him a couple of times. That would
be a little weird for me.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
All right, here's the next part of that Pew survey,
because this is even more interesting. Okay, more women are
ditching the idea of marriage. The traditional idea of marriage
is not on the tops of minds of women. Instead,
they're choosing a life that is more of a single
life that best fits their needs. According to this survey,
(15:04):
almost half of US women didn't view marriage as important.
They said that they didn't think that that would be
something that would fulfill their lives, and thirty four percent
of singles say that they were looking they were only
thirty four percent of singles were saying that they were
looking at a serious relationship as growing further in marriage,
(15:25):
where the majority of them said no, I'll keep it
just the way that it is right now. And as
far as the amount of women wanting to have children,
we've just experienced some of the lowest levels of birth
rate that we've had in the United States. On the
tops of minds of women who are between the ages
of eighteen and forty, it's the lowest amount of women
(15:47):
that say that they look to have a baby, where
majority of women used to say it. Actually, I think
the level was like seventy plus percent of women said
they want to have a kid. Now the levels more
closer towards like sixty percent.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
So well, I will tell you this. The marriage thing
I understand. I I get that I get. And this
is like, again from the majority of people that I
talk to who are married. You know, we all go
through it and it's like, Okay, why why did we
(16:22):
get married?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Every time you talk about marriage in this podcast, it
makes everybody think we have the worst marriage.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Actually though, and then I get a ton of dms
from women that say, I swear we are in the
same relationship. I swear, you know, thank you for being
so honest. I'm not sitting in here saying I am
depressed and miserable in my marriage, because actually I'm not.
We got into a huge fight a while ago, you know,
a couple weeks ago, and I said to you, I
(16:51):
am not miserable, Like, this is part of being married.
So if I was miserable, I would hope that I
would be strong enough to just say, Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
We're done.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
So misery is not where I am, right currently today,
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I am
not miserable right now. I just think I'm realistic, you know.
I it makes me sad when I hear women say
that they don't want children, because I will tell you,
I will tell you this. The greatest joy that I
(17:27):
have in my life, and this will make me cry
are my boys. Like I cannot imagine my life without them.
I just can't and describe that why.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
It is.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Like I'm I wearing your heart outside of your body,
and it is the toughest thing I've ever done, because
letting them go has been so hard, but it has
been the greatest honor and greatest privilege raising those three boys.
Like I feel I have done so many wrong things
(18:07):
in my life, but they're those three are three things
that I have done right.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I am.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
I'm not a good wife. You know, I'm not a
perfect wife. I'm not, but I know I'm a damn
good mother. Not perfect, but I know that I am.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
A damn good mom.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
And those boys, whether this is right or not, those boys,
it's an unconditional love that I have for them. I've
said before, our love is conditional, but my love for
my children is unconditional, and I cannot imagine my life
without them.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I I don't think I would feel fulfilled. I certainly
would not be the person who I am today. They
have taught me how to be humble, They have taught
me patience, they have taught me love, and I.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
That makes me so sad at the end of my life.
I would hope God willing that all three are there,
you know, and because you know, I don't know if
you'll die before me or follow die before you, But
I just I want like that, and I want to
(19:35):
know that they know how much they are loved by me.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Them well I do. I tell them all the time podcast. No,
I do.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Well, they know I feel silly saying it on this podcast,
but they know. They know I tell them all of
the time.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Tell each other. And I'm not doing this because you're
emotional right now?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yes you are, Yes you are. You're doing this beautiful.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
For me to hear this each one individually. Tell us.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I'm not going to do that because I know what
you're trying to do.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, I swear to you, I'm not doing it for
that reason. I'm doing it because last week you talked
about on the podcast that all we are is a
digital image, and that's what we're gonna end up being.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
This is an audible but I won't but but this
is but I know I won't be a digit.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
But this is the thing.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
I know that I hopefully have made three children or
three three lives. No unconditional love. No, oh my gosh,
there was a huge owl that just flew by our house.
Unconditional love.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
They know.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
That there is someone always there to support them, to
know that no matter they always have a soft spot
spot to land. They always, ironically enough with this podcast,
can come home and have a place to come home to.
Don't bring your girlfriend and boyfriend, but you can come
home with your wives and husband's husband if you need to.
(21:05):
I just I want them, and I think that they
know I am their biggest fan. I always tell them
I am your biggest fan. I will be your loudest cheerleader.
And no one, by the way, no one will love
you the way that I love you.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
You know.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I from the moment I found out I was pregnant
with each one of them, the moment I heard their
first heartbeat, the moment when I gave birth to them
and got to look in each of their eyes for
the first time. And it's just this bond that I
am so eternally grateful that I get to have with them.
(21:45):
I can't imagine not halving them in my life. And
it makes me sad. And it's a choice. You know,
women are going to choose not to have that. It
just makes because you don't know until you're in it,
you don't know it is.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's hard.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
It's raising kids. It's so hard, but it is the
most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
You said, an owl just flew by our house. I
look up. What do owls represent? They represent wisdom, knowledge, insight,
They are nocturnal, they have keen eyesight. But this is
the part that I think is so interesting is the
ability in the symbols of an owl. In spiritual cultures,
(22:32):
they are protectors against harm. Isn't that interesting? Here we
are it kind of sounds like a mom Yeah, that's
pretty uh, that's pretty well. On the dark side, they
also represent bad omens and even death. I God of love.
When I see you.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Cry, I know you don't. That's kind of twisted.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I love I love how much you love our boys
and I love how much you are loving being a mother,
and I think that that's huge because you, in the
last five ten years have gone through such a transitional
period with being a mom, because they've grown into men,
(23:22):
and it's also a time where they've grown into other relationships.
And it's been difficult to see the boys go through
different transitions like this because I know how difficult it
is sometimes for you, and I think that it's pretty
cool for them to know how much it means to
(23:45):
you that they are in your life, because then they
always will know that they have you and that you
will be there for them. It's pretty cool. I say,
fuck those kids now.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
As long as I am breathing like that, I will
take my last My last breath would be for them
for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, that's cool. And you know, one of the coolest things.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
That mine we went totally off your topic, no, no.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
But I think one of the coolest things that I
think this podcast does too is it gives our experience.
And we talk a lot of times about marriage and
how difficult it is. It's neat to hear that in
not saying that raising kids isn't difficult. It's extremely difficult,
but it also extremely rewarding and sometimes honest honestly, both
(24:38):
are rewarding when they're they're doing great, but I feel
like the kids make things more rewarding.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Well, I yes, and I've been very lucky that I
have great relationships with my kids.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That isn't always the case, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
I am super, super lucky that I have a great
relationship and differently relationships with each boy, you know, and
it's again, it's so fulfilling to me, and so it
brings me such joy. And that does make me sad
that some women don't get to experience because they can't
(25:15):
or some women choose not to. And I don't know
why it makes me sad because that's their choice. But
I just feel there is nothing like feeling your baby
move and your stomach for the first time. You know,
at the end, it's miserable, but it's just it's the
most amazing thing, and you just have this special bond
(25:39):
are you know. And maybe every woman doesn't feel the
way that I do, but I just feel that. And
I'm sure it's different boys boy moms and girl mom relationships,
but I just feel so blessed that I was trusted
with these boys, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Gives me sadness whenever I see we do this Mojo
gives you a baby promotion and we're giving away IVF
and it's such a like.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
We took that for granted.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
It's crazy because and I look at these families. I'm
reading through these letters and I'm meeting a lot of
these people that you know, it's expensive as hell, Like
you think of the amount of money that many people are,
you know, trying to come up with just to be
able to get pregnant. And I cannot tell you how
much it bothers me. And I have a huge faith
(26:33):
in God and you know, and our Lord, and one
of the things I want to know one day, you know,
is I always want to know, why did you take
that young mom away from those young kids? And why
did you do this where you gave you know, you
there's some people that are just horrible people that have
(26:55):
tons of kids, and then you have these great you know,
mother or this potential father that can't have kids, and
I just don't get it. And you know, I know
there's biblical meaning to everything, and somebody will probably send
me a Bible verse, but I'd love to be able
to figure that out because it just makes no sense.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Yeah, well okay, anyway, so back to the topic. Back
to the topic, which is the people are not with us, the.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Kids are moving back in with us, and.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Well no, the second part was the marriage.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So I do why are they not wanting to get married?
Speaker 4 (27:35):
You know, it might be expensive, it might be a
lot of that. I think that, and also maybe they
had traumatized. They came from traumatized. I think when people
stay in a marriage, a bad marriage, it can traumatize
their children, and their children are probably like I'm not
going down that road and I'm not doing that. Or
it also could be they're so focused on their careers
(27:58):
and that's just what they focus us on, and suddenly
you're forty or fifty and you're not married yet and
you're really set in your ways, and I don't know,
I just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
They answer questions in this survey where they say, I
don't want to get married, I want nothing to do
with marriage, And a lot of it is that it's
tough to date that nowadays, dating has become because when I,
you know, talk to some of the people that are
on our show and I have conversations with them and
their feelings towards relationships, their feelings towards relationships go the
(28:34):
way that they're dating has gone, And I like, I
look at there's some that go on on dates and
they're in such, you know, horrible situations where these guys
are just such assholes. On these apps, you know, they
(28:56):
become I don't know, they become more willing to kind
of just discard another person where I think that I
don't think dating.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Also, I think you're hearing that from the girls point
of view. By the way, where they're telling you what's going.
I'm not dismissing them and saying that they're wrong, but
it would be interesting to know what the guy's point
of view of that is and how and how women
treat them on so on these dating apps, like you're
(29:26):
you're just hearing the girls point of view. And by
the way, when you and I tell the same situation
but our versions of it, it's always gonna I'm gonna,
you know what I mean, Like I think that you
have to You're you're just hearing the girls side. It'd
be very interesting to hear the guy's side.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Well. It's a great point because in a lot of
these different dating apps, the woman calls the shots until
the after the first date okay, and then a lot
of times the bad relationship or the bad or that
bad date is turns bad because the girls go this
(30:03):
guy was a loser or whatever, or this guy did
something well this.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You know.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
By the way, I really stand by this. I think
that social media has ruined us as a society. The
phones have ruined us as a society. Like we we
we're not as genuine of people as we used to
be because we don't have to. And you can dismiss people.
You judge them right off the bat by their looks
and how they present themselves.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Well, you go right to social media, or you go
to Google and you google the person. Yeah, where we
had to actually physically have conversations with.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
You, yeah, and get to know the person. Yes, And
I think you dismiss so much just by first glance
and by you know that that is just it's horrible,
you know, or what they how they're posing in a picture,
and what they choose to like.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I do hear a lot of.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
People talk about that, you know, they they the swiping
from just I mean, yes, you do need to be
attracted to them, for sure, but you also could really
get to know that because I'm tell you look to
change all the time. You know, you can't always just
go off of looks and that beer.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I had a lot of glow up in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
You did? You did?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You've actually much better. You've aged fifty four year old
man than I was a twenty one year old when
I met you. I was twenty year old?
Speaker 3 (31:28):
What was my problem?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
You know what's funny is, uh we always were told
don't judge a book by its cover, right, right, But
basically dating apps is purely.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
By judging the judging the book by the cover.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I know, all right, Well that does it for this podcast.
We got a tear out of you. It was wonderful.
It made me feel good. I hope our boys use it.
Luke will probably call you up and say, can you
send me more money for alcohol?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yes,
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