We Do(n't) Podcast Episode 79: Love is Not Perfect

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Coming up, on this episode of the We Don't Podcast,
it was the no Phone challenge and how did I do?
I want Chelsea to give me a grade? And the
funniest part is what we just did prior to recording
this podcast coming up next.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey, we Don't Podcast. You know what's funny is that
we talked about this on our show and we didn't
get a chance to talk about it on the podcast,
But I want to talk about what led to it.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
But I told.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
The listeners on the show about how I'm trying to
go thirty minutes a day with my phone in another room,
and I'm going to have you talk about, you know,
how I've done and be blatantly honest, not that you
never would never be honest. But just before we did
this podcast, we literally sat on a couch although you

(01:20):
were laying on the floor, I was on the couch,
and we watched nine hours.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Of Binge, watched no We'll watched seven because we watched
the hour is it the night before episode?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
We watched seven hours of a show with phones in
our hands.

Speaker 5 (01:36):
Well you yes, yes, so.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
It was it's gonna be easy now, mister phone so.

Speaker 5 (01:42):
Much that you had to charge yours.

Speaker 4 (01:44):
Mine still has a battery life of fifty two since
this morning.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Oh okay, so you have all right. So it came
to a head. Our relationship almost ended again, and it
be so dramatic.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
We had a fight, like every couple does.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
And the fight was something that we fought about probably
for thirty plus years.

Speaker 5 (02:08):
Well ever since you had a cell phone.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yes, yeah, so in that fight was over the fact
that you say that I spend more time on my
phone than actually spending with you. And so I decided
that I was going to do thirty minutes phone free.
And how did I do?

Speaker 5 (02:24):
You did amazing on Monday?

Speaker 3 (02:27):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, I didn't see you put the phone away another time.
And by the way, just the word clear I went.
So Monday, we went out for dinner, and you put
the phone away, because it's supposed to start on Monday,
and you put the phone away for dinner. You put
it either in my purse or on the chair next
to you.

Speaker 5 (02:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
It was a great dinner. We had really great conversation.
You were trying so so hard and you exceeded. It
was amazing you did it. But you didn't put it
away another day.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
See put it away.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
You just didn't know it was away when I put
it away for thirty minutes, at least thirty minutes every
single day, like I tried to. I tried to make
it a point when we were on the couch together
to have the phone in the kitchen while we were
in our great room. I need to make an announcement
of when I'm doing it, because if I may.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
If I don't make an.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
Announcements, well, and then I guess the whole point of
it is though that so we can communicate. And I
will tell you that I went and got a laser
done on my face. So I have been home and
have not left, and you have, it seems have been
working a lot more, which is fine because we couldn't
go out. We couldn't do anything, so you had meetings
and all this stuff. So I will tell you I've

(03:40):
been home and in the back of my head, I've
been waiting for you to say, okay, phone away. Let's talk,
and that's that hasn't happened, and that could be my
fault because I don't need a formal invitation to talk
to you. Although that was kind of the point of.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
This was okay, so phone away, and then I have
to make the the all right, phones away, now, now
it's our time to be talking to each other. Yeah,
because I thought it was phone away and we're going
to spend time together. I didn't realize that it was
phone away. And then the whole point was.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
The whole point of it on my side, just so
you know, the whole point was so we could have
an uninterrupted conversation.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
So if you had put your phone away in the
other room, which I did not know that that happened
since Monday, I didn't feel that we had any kind
of like I feel that it would have been, okay,
the phone's way, let's talk about stuff. And I guess
I was looking for something a little bit more different
than you just putting the phone away and then just

(04:44):
sitting there and watching television mindlessly.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
Well, I will tell you.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
That I think that one of the things that I
was trying to I've been trying to do is I've
been trying not to be on my phone, that stop
just scrolling through social media, which does definitely help my
mental state because I don't see, you know, pretty much
the same thing all the time, over and over again,
either the same Lebron James Michael Jordan thing or the

(05:11):
same political crap or whatever it is. And then I'm
trying to do when we go to bed, put my
phone on the charger and even try to like turn
the phone away so that I don't see the light
pop on when either somebody sends a text or a notification.

Speaker 5 (05:29):
Come, yeah, you did that one night. I remember you
doing that one night.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Well, you have to have it facing you because your
alarm goes off and when you wake up, you need
to see what.

Speaker 5 (05:36):
Time it is.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
I feel like I need to make announcements when I'm
doing stuff, probably like I need to actually have your attention,
please your attention plan.

Speaker 5 (05:45):
I mean you typically do, which is why I'm shocked.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Well, Monday was great.

Speaker 5 (05:50):
Monday was amazing.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
And by the way, did you hear me complain one
time about you not doing it? No, because I'm not
going to make this a big deal. In our fight,
I made it a big deal.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
It was explain that fight.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
It was to me saying to you that I and
I have felt this. This has been a reoccurring theme
in our fights that I feel I have to almost
beg for your attention, which is humiliating. You know, we've
been married for so long, and you have no problem

(06:25):
walking into the house on the phone, You have no
on speaker mind, you, you have no problem sitting down
on the couch talking to many more people on the
phone all night. But when it comes to you and I,
there seems to be a block. And it's I'm not
saying it's just to you, It is me too. But

(06:48):
it just came to a head. You know, two a
week ago on a Friday night, I just unleashed on
you and told you exactly how I was feeling about it.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Ever was the thing They kind of capped it off, like,
what was it that made you? Had you been thinking
about it.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
That whole day?

Speaker 4 (07:05):
Or do you really want me to be honest if
it's going to make you look bad? Do you want
me to be honest? So when you said to me,
and this still sits with me, and I still have
a hard time with what you said, when you said
to me that I was not there for you. When
I was going through my cancer stuff, you felt I

(07:25):
was not there for you and that and this isn't
a fight that we had. That has just been simmering
and festering for me because number one, I have I
told you I have been there for you. I told
you at the beginning, please go talk to your therapist
because this is going to bring up stuff from your childhood.

Speaker 5 (07:45):
How could it not. You know your mom had cancer,
now your wife has cancer, so please go.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
And I know you and I when we would have
talks about it, I would say, how are you doing?
Are you okay? And then bottom line, it was happening
to me. So if anyone should have someone there for them,
I was the one that was going through the cancer.
You as my spouse, are going through it one hundred percent.
But I was the one that was trying to mentally

(08:16):
because it's in my body. It was happening to me.
And when you said that to me, it really hurt
because I know I have made my whole life about you.
I've made your career above me, I've made our children
above me, and the one time where it was about me,

(08:37):
it was brought back on me that I wasn't there
for you, and that just hurt and it's been stewing
in me, and I just unleashed that on you, and
I said, you know, I feel in our relationship, I've
always had to beg you for attention literally sometimes beg
you for attention, and it's humiliating. It's embarrassing. Listen, you've

(08:59):
had to beg me for some things too. I'm not
saying that I'm you know, I'm just saying this is
a two way street. I'm just giving my side of
it now, which.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
One, you know, As funny as I think back, I'm going, God,
it's humiliating the like beg for sex, but it's also
more humiliating to beg for somebody just to pay attention
to you.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
It's there's not another word. It is humiliating. And then
you know what, then you're just like fuck it if
you're not going to give, Like really, you can't talk
to me without you watching TV or listening to the
radio or on your phone, like I am more important
that I should be more important than that for at

(09:38):
least ten minutes at least, just let's have one topic
of conversation. And I think I became so numb to that.
But then that's you know, you'll say you don't give
me sex, well, you don't give me attention. If you
think I'm just gonna be intimate with you, You're wrong.
You are wrong on so many different levels. If you
can't give me a simple conversation, then you've got to

(10:02):
be fucking kidding me that I'm going to have sex
with you.

Speaker 5 (10:04):
I'm not. I'm just not. My needs aren't meant. Your
needs are not going to be meant. It's that simple.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
First off, I'm sorry, and thank you for saying everything
you just said, because I think that it's good for
me to hear it again. And sometimes I know it
sounds weird to say this. We've already had this conversation,
but it's nice to be able to hear it again
and to rehear it, you know, because I think that
it ingrains in you, you know, the more that you repeat,

(10:31):
the repetitiveness. I think I used horrible words with you,
like I used wrong words because the words were not
that what I said to you is not exactly how
I was feeling, Okay, what I said to you? When
I said to you and again, what were the words
that you said I was.

Speaker 5 (10:52):
Not there for you, okay, during my cancer.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
What I meant to say was not and and not
to make it sound like my things. You know, what
I was going through was worse than yours, because there's
no doubt what you were going through and what you
are going through and what you're going to go through
is way worse than anything I'm dealing with. What I
think I meant to say, and I wasn't eloquent enough
in my words, and I never am was Hey, I'm

(11:18):
kind of struggling right now, like and not I'm struggling too,
but I'm struggling. And I think that in the beginning
when this hall happened, I was trying to be the strong,
the strong one, because I'm never usually the strong one.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
And then while we were going through it, I.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Wanted to be in the one that that can be Hey,
you got this your motivator, like, go from the strong
one to the motivator one.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
And then in.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
The point after you had it, I wanted to be
somebody that could help you heal and be there to
make you heal. And you kept saying to me, you know, hey,
you did say, you know, this is this tough for you?
Whatever the deal is, and honestly, it was not tough
for me, and it's still not necessarily is tough for me.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
Okay, well then why do I have to be there
for you?

Speaker 4 (12:11):
Then?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Well, if you let me finish talk here for a second,
please see how rude she is sometimes. I just want
everybody to understand this.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Now that you hated me the last seven minutes, now
I want you to understand.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
I don't hate you.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
No, I'm saying. The listeners are hating me right now.
They're probably like, what the fuck is she doing with him?
The thing that I wanted more so than anything was
I did want to shut down my feelings on things
because I didn't want to be sad or whatever. And
then I hit a point, and I think that that
point came when things were supposed to be happy for me.

(12:50):
And I think that that point was I don't want
to be happy because I felt guilty of being happy
and I felt weird being happy. And yet I was
weeks before that kind of struggling and I wasn't doing anything.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
So mind you, you were right.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I should have called my therapist and I should just
I should have gotten into therapy back with him, and
I still actually should. I haven't gotten back in with him,
and I think a lot of the reason I haven't
is I don't want to talk about it, like I
don't want to bring it up again.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
So with that said, I you're right, I don't and
I don't know what it is like you and I
can have conversation on the phone like we talk, because
I don't want anybody think that we don't talk.

Speaker 5 (13:32):
No, we guess like I call you where it's the.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
Whole way home, and we'll have conversation.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
But it also is a distracted conversation on the way
home beyond sometimes be mostly most of the time, okay,
because you are on the phone, but you're also on
your phone. You're talking to me, but you're also looking
at emails, you're answering text messages. And that is one
of my biggest pet peeves. And let me just say
this because I feel like, you know, I don't want

(13:58):
anyone to think that you're a total asshole, because you're not.
When someone needs something, you are there for them, first
in line, ready to help, ready to solve.

Speaker 5 (14:10):
You go, who can I call? What can I do?

Speaker 3 (14:15):
You?

Speaker 4 (14:16):
And a lot of people come to you because they
need help, because they know you are the yes man,
and you will. If you cannot do it yourself, you're
going to find someone who can.

Speaker 5 (14:25):
You are so good at that. The problem with that.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
Is when you're married to that, when you're out putting
everyone else's fire out, there's no more water for me
when you get home to put my fire out. So
in turn, I have become extremely extremely independent of that
and not not needing you in that area. And by

(14:51):
the way, I think this is so common in marriage,
you know, I.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Really I'd love to hear from people that it is.

Speaker 5 (14:56):
I really think it is. I think that.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
You know you at the very beginning, you're you think
that this person is your everything. And then and there
are some marriages I'm sure where you know this isn't
the case, but majority they are your everything. And then
as time goes on, the human aspect of that other
person comes out. And then so you can ask someone
so many times for so many things, and then if

(15:21):
they're not there for you or and also there are
roles that you play in a relationship. I like when
you said that to me also and I said to you,
I when you had your open heart surgery. I literally
my world stopped for you and I was your caretaker
when you just had your shoulder surgery. I got up
with you every morning at three thirty. I showered you,

(15:43):
I set my alarm for your medication, like for weeks,
not just you know, the day your driver didn't show up,
I drove you to the radio like I would come
and pick you.

Speaker 5 (15:53):
Up every day. So that's why I was like, are
you kidding me?

Speaker 4 (15:57):
Like I the one time I need you, I need you,
and I shouldn't have to say to you. That's what
I think is hard for me is I shouldn't have
to say to you, I need you. But what the
foundation that I have laid down for us?

Speaker 5 (16:14):
Something good on TV?

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Because I literally i'm looking right at you. I sort
of got I'm looking right.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
At you because I think the foundation that I have
laid for our relationship is I have made it that
I got it.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
I don't need you.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
I can take care of it myself, and I think
that that so it makes it really easy. Like you
said to me, Okay, let me stay home with you,
and I'm like, you know what, No, just go to work.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
It's fine.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
I'm fine because I had lea Antanya here with me
for a week after my surgery, and.

Speaker 5 (16:46):
It's like, just just go to work. And you know
what I should have said to you.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
I should have said, I do need you here a
couple of days emotionally, I need you here.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
You should have you say that to yourself.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I should have just said, well, But then that's my problem.
My my problem is I do take you sometimes because
you're a very honest person for face value, like right,
you are extremely honest.

Speaker 5 (17:10):
You know, sometimes I'm lying to you when I say
I don't want you here.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
I do want you, And I think that the things
it's hard for me to be thought about something.

Speaker 4 (17:17):
But it's hard for me to be vulnerable because when
I have said to you in the past I need
you to be here, you haven't.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (17:24):
And part of that, again is just we.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
Were so young when we got married, and we you know,
tried to be everything to each other but couldn't be
because we had life, we had kids really early, and
I think we just set that set these patterns, which whatever,
we're here thirty one years later.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
But I used to which by the way, man, it's
pretty crazy, isn't it, to think, Like it's like I think,
I I every time I think about us getting married
and what we went into the marriage with as far
as the knowledge to be able to know how to
mean in a relationship because I.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
Was not an am you know how to in a relationship?
Now I still don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
And honestly, I wasn't in a lot of relationships. Like
I did not have a lot of girlfriends. I don't
think you had to tell me.

Speaker 5 (18:07):
I was basically twelve, and I might you.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Did you kind of like, yeah, you had, you had
a lot of Valentines, like the guys that gave you
like sweetheart cards and stuff like that. I I used
to say all the time, my excuse used to be
and it was, honestly, I think, a legitimate excuse. Now
that I'm older and a little bit wiser, it's really
not an excuse. I used to think. I work, you know,

(18:33):
five or six hours a day on the radio. I
talk all day. All I want to do come home
is not talk.

Speaker 5 (18:38):
It was you are talking.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Yeah, Well that's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
It's such a bullshit excuse because I do talk so much,
even off and honestly, when I don't talk, like on
the times when I was like I need to rest
or if my voice is not good or if I'm
not feeling good, I am bored, Like I need to talk.
I'm a communicator, like I need to be communicating with people,
and the problem is that I don't do a very

(19:04):
good job with you. I'm bad at this. I will
say this to you when we have moments where we
are communicating, like Monday, you know, I hate to say
the one day that one day it was awesome, like
we we had such a great time together. We well,
we and we had a great time. We went downtown,
we did something that we normally don't do. The other

(19:26):
thing is when we have moments where I'm off from
work and we just kind of together.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
I'll never forget.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
So Chelsea and I needed a we needed a a
storage unit because we had a bunch of shit, like
Christmas stuff, and we wanted to like not have it
clutter up you know, our storage area at home. So
we got a storage unit and I'll never forget us
moving stuff over there. And honestly, it was one of

(19:53):
my favorite days because we were bringing stuff over to
the storage unit and we're in this hum month. First
of all, those storage units are freaking crazy, like it's
it's nuts. It's like levels of just a bunch of
different garages. And we were laughing our asses off, having
fun and doing just stupid stuff. And I was a vacation,

(20:13):
you know, week for us on the show. And I
realize you do not get the best of me because
I wake up at three thirty.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
I do say.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
Goodbye to you every morning when I leave at you know,
four something, and I give you a kiss goodbye i leave.
The best of me is the first four or five
hours of me.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
It really is.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
And honestly, that's probably why you know we do well
with our show and stuff is because that's usually the best.
Then the second best of me is right afterwards for
the first you know, four or five hours, the worst
of me is I always tell everybody at four pm.
I don't know what it is about four pm, but
four pm until nine thirty, I am a.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
Vegetable like I's understandable by the way.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
I don't expect you to come home and relive your
day or be at a level ten. Again, I've been
with you for thirty four years, so I get it.

Speaker 5 (21:10):
I get it.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
I feel robbed when you walk in the house and
you're on the phone solving other people's problems, and you're
on the phone for a long time. You get off
that phone call, you get right back on the phone
call with another person, and then another person. Then you'll
take a nap, you get phone calls that wake you up,
and you get on the phone again. And then at night,
after we have dinner, you go sit on the couch,

(21:34):
you pop up on your laptop. You have your phone
right next to you, and it's the TV and Leah Courtney,
everyone who's been at the house, they all look at
me like, how the fuck can you stand this TV blaring?
You're on this phone speaker and on your computer and
it's you know, And by the way, I don't know

(21:56):
how you do it because you can't be giving one
hundred percent because you're divide it like, I just I
don't know how.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
That's why during the show I think that, you know,
during the show, it's basically running the board.

Speaker 5 (22:07):
Well I get that that.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
I yes, I totally understand that you are so good
at what you do because you can, because you can
do these things, you don't lessen though for sure.

Speaker 5 (22:18):
That's but anyway, that's that.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
Is so all right, So I'm gonna make the announcements
now that.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's not an announcement to say, hey, I put my
phone away.

Speaker 5 (22:29):
Did you you know?

Speaker 3 (22:31):
It's so weird about this? Is that?

Speaker 4 (22:33):
And I could shock you and say it's okay, I
don't want to talk right now, you know, And then
I'm oh.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Good, I get to go on my phone. I it's
so wild. You and I had this happened to us
a week ago, and it was a Friday, and that Monday,
I woke up and I sent it. I sent I
think I sent you the thing. But it was like
this couple that does you know, to talks that It

(23:01):
was them talking about how every night after they eat
they go for a thirty minute walk just to talk
about their day with no phone with them at all.

Speaker 5 (23:08):
You didn't I send that to me?

Speaker 3 (23:09):
I didn't send that to you.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
No, it must have sent that to your girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Probably did No, I said, then, did I send you
the girlfriend? TikTok?

Speaker 2 (23:18):
That was Chris Grass I know, but it was in
my algorithms, And I was like, how weird is that
that it's in my algorithms that that's the case, because
obviously your phone's listening to you. But do you that
moment that I said that to you? You know where
I said what about me? You know I'm going through
this too. There have been moments like that in our marriage,

(23:41):
many more than we probably ever want.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
I don't. I don't keep track of that stuff, like
when you have done things to me that hurt me,
Like I really don't.

Speaker 4 (23:56):
Do you keep track of all yours when it's really
deep and her it's really like I thought that that
was so because those were your words that you used,
and that may not have been your intent or what
you meant, but those were the words that you used.
And so when you said that to me, I was
so because you have You've said it twice. I was
so shocked and so hurt because I know what I

(24:19):
have done for you again knee surgery, me replacement, open heart,
shoulder surgery.

Speaker 5 (24:28):
I raised my kids mine too. But here's here's also
the thing I don't.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
I need to lower or not even lower my expectations.
I need to not have the same expectations of how
I would be in a situation of how you should be.
Like I had to come to realize that and have
a come to Jesus moment with myself just because I
and I can, and I could and I did drop
everything and make my world revolve around you for those

(24:58):
healing times. That doesn't mean you have to do it too.
You know, it's not fair for me to put that
expectation on you. However, for you to say that I
wasn't there for you was not true because I know that.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
I was right.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
So it was just very, very hurtful for me. So no,
I don't keep them, the deep ones, the deep ones
I keep and eye remember for sure.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, you know what's wild about the progression of us
as a couple. And if anybody listens to this show,
that is anybody that's either new in a relationship or
not in a relationship, this is really a big one
because you will grow in a relationship. We in the past,
you would never tell me what happened on Friday to

(25:51):
you like that Friday Like you would never say to me, hey,
I'm really hurt, I am upset, like you would take
that in. You would close off on me. You would
ignore something that I said and make me go, God,
she pissed off at me or whatever. You just get harder,
and it would just grow on you and grow on you,

(26:12):
and I hate to say, like the indifference. Yeah, and
what happened with you saying to me? And and I
did say this to you that night. I said, you know,
if there's anything good that came out of this is
you told me you said something to me. Because the
past Tom and Chelsea relationship would be that you would.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Close off, I would close off.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
We would get bitter with each other, and then we
would get to a point where, honestly we were so
apathetic to each other that there was no carrying at all.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
Do you think that I would have never shared stuff
with you? Or do you think that I have shared
stuff with you and it's just gone unheard.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
I think early on, and then I think that the
middle part of our relationship you probably I think you didn't.
I don't think you shared a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
You shared stuff with me when you were such past
the point of the of it. Early in the relationship,
you would share stuff with me, and I would make
a joke or say, oh, come on whatever, or you know,
or you.

Speaker 4 (27:14):
Say it sometimes like when we're fighting, at the beginning
of a fight, you'll say something like me like you're
trying to get under my skin, and you'll say it
and I get like, I'll snap back at you, like, oh,
it's just a joke. Have a sense of humor. And
by the way, I am the funniest fucking person that
I know. I have a great sense of humor. You don't, Okay,

(27:37):
not when we're in a bad place.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah. Do I ever make you laugh?

Speaker 4 (27:41):
Though?

Speaker 3 (27:41):
I don't know?

Speaker 5 (27:42):
You do with some stupid stuff?

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah, you do stupid stuff.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
Yeah, No, you make me laugh almost every day. No,
I won't tell you how, but.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
I can I say this to you though I am.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
I won't. Then all right, I end this thing right now.

Speaker 5 (27:58):
I love that you asked that all the time. But
what do you want to say?

Speaker 2 (28:02):
I again reiterate that nobody ever gets a lesson on
what it's like to be in a relationship. My relationship
that I had to model myself after I only got
for fourteen years, and your relationship that you modeled yourself
after you didn't get for many years because your parents

(28:22):
met each other when you were how old?

Speaker 5 (28:25):
Well they got married when I was nine.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
So nine years old, so nine to seventeen, me one
to fourteen, so virtually we got longer.

Speaker 5 (28:33):
Well kind of, yeah, not really, do you know yeah,
you a longer.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
But my dad also was Spanish and you couldn't understand
what he was saying. Yeah, but I but no, it's
really interesting. I hope our kids, like I hope we
model our relationship to our kids, like I really hope
that you know, I know, Jacob listens to this, saying
one day, I hope Joe listens to it, because I
really want Joe in Jake, Aaron Luke to listen to it.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
Well, there's a model, but it's always there's no perfect relationship,
so it should be you take from it what you
the good and the bad, and then realize, Okay, I
this is what I don't want to do.

Speaker 5 (29:13):
And I'm sure we have all that.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yeah, And I really hope that they that they use
us as the example of the good and the bad
and relationship, yeah, and being able to communicate, but also
being able to stay with it because I am not
gonna lie. There has never been a point in our
relationship where I or you should say you should get

(29:37):
out of this relationship. I think there have been points
in our relationship where we've both been so apathetic we
probably should.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
Have gotten out of the relationship.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
But I don't think that it's never been a point
where there's ever been anything that a person would say,
you know what, you guys would be better off being
divorced with each other from each other. I do think
that in a lot of cases, if we could have
gone into the relationship knowing what we know right now,
even though obviously I still make the same mistakes, I
wonder what our relationship would have been like.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
Well, here's the thing, and this is what I'd want
our boys to take from our relationship as well, is
that we're human. We both have made mistakes, and yet
we still try. And it's not perfect. Love is not perfect, period,
end of the story, in my opinion, and so the

(30:30):
choice that we make every day, and sometimes you have
to make it multiple times in the day, and if
you don't want to make it that day, that's okay too.
But I would want the boys to take away from
our relationship, Okay, there was some great times, there were
some shit times, but they they got through it and
they're not perfect, and so when problems come up in

(30:54):
their relationships, they because they will and they can. Okay,
you know, what did I learn from my mom and
dad or to do and not to do? You know,
I think that that's super important. My parents never fought
in front of me, so I didn't learn how to fight.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
You know.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
I don't know if your parents fought in front.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Of you, but maybe once or twice.

Speaker 5 (31:15):
Yeah, so I don't.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
Know. I didn't know how to properly fight. I didn't
know how to what to do and what not to
and I don't even know what still to do and
what not to do. I think we just do what
we think is best for us at that moment and
hope that it you know that were hurt.

Speaker 5 (31:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
With that said, I'm going to put my phone away,
and you got thirty minutes of my time.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
Ready, go