TD&L Donkey Show Podcast for Thursday - What The Fook

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Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Let me know when you're ready.I bet that's a good start. This
is Tanner, Drew and Laura's DonkeyShow, Donkey Show. What's up?
Oh God, alright, let's up, you little ships. Thanks for checking
out Tanner to and Laura's Donkey Showpod casto heard online at one five nine

(00:26):
dot com, the iHeartRadio app,or wherever you listen to podcasts. Tanner
Drew's here, Laura's here, bustdress, Marcus is joining us this morning,
and Marcus and I are on ahigh right now, living on a
ride in the high. I guess, oh, boy, after we got
victory last night in Call of dutywar zone, which is not easy to
do. Yep. No, itwas our first one. We've never gotten
one before. Nice Marcus wife aboutit. I was gonna say, was

(00:51):
she's so impressed? I told hershe didn't care, so I sent Tanner
a dick pick. I don't thinkthese these two care here, but they
they they're kind about it. They'relike, oh, that's cool. Voice
When she knows you're about to talkvideo games, Laura's voice, her tone
of voice change. I refuse toeven look at her when I'm talking about
it, because I'm doing something else. I'm like, all right, I'm

(01:15):
gonna go shoe shopping. Let's see. Now I know what it takes to
finish. First, I played onegame of pub G yesterday. I got
four kills in third place, andso I went to bed sad. I
would have loved to be in yourshoes. Third place is pretty good,
though, But yeah, I mean, but you know, you know when
you're right there, you're at thedoor step. It's funny because Marcus and
I kept getting a little bit betterget We'd get like twenty fifth place,
and then the next round to beeighteenth place, the next round twelfth place,

(01:37):
and then fifth place. Yeah,and sure enough, we sure got
it. And Marcus, I haveto I think I clipped that part because
Marcus and I celebrated with like screamsand yells and sound effects. Of course
nice, and people can watch Canthey watch that yet? Yeah? You
can still watch us on on Twitch. I stream on Atomic Tanner TV.
Nice. That's my account Atomic TannerTV. And Marcus he just joins me

(02:00):
he doesn't have a He has anaccount, but he doesn't use it.
I wish he would, though,because I want to. I want to
be able to see him in hisbald spot. Mm hmm, just get
the cam from behind. Yeah,she put a green screen one of the
old spots so we can we canimpost your stats on it. Well,
we already discussed that. I wasgoing to advertise up there. You know,
it's it's a billboard, so itmight as well put something on,
like I tap the Rockies cores light. But we've been u playing. We've

(02:23):
been playing with a lot of listeners. A lot of listeners hear this and
they go and join and and theyjust watch it first, and then they
you know, they start coming inbecause they see us getting destroyed and they're
like, we need a health thesefucking idiot yeah, and so they come
and help us. But I Ilike those guys. I like playing with
listeners. We're listeners part of thevictory squad. Or with those strangers.
I think those are strangers some talent. Yeah, I feel like they wouldn't

(02:44):
bail right after the win if theywere listening. They would have celebrated with
their team like they're supposed to.It's uh, it's fun though, So
if you want to play, downloadit. I got to hear a list
so you know, you take homepizza It's one of the few items that
you can reheat and still and reallyenjoy it and it tastes still really good.
One of the better shelf lives outthere with food. I feel like

(03:04):
pizza, you know, pasta isreally good reheated. Yeah, like bringing
home a hot sand which is nevergoing to be as good as it was
the first time. Pizza does.But sometimes when you reheat your pizza,
you know, especially if you reheatlike a pizza hut slice in the microwave,
the bottom could get super soggy,right, so it's called pizza slut
when it gets all soggy and sloppy. Well, the chef reveals the best

(03:25):
way to redheat leftover pizza in theair fry. Well, he says he
said it on the internet, andthen a giant debate ensued on the internet.
I was told that you've just tossedit in the oven for a couple
of minutes. It's really good.Yeah, that's not a bad idea,
but it takes a long time.I feel like I just want to heat
it up and eat it. Ifyou want to be on the hurry up
offense where I come from, youmicrowave for a few seconds to get that

(03:47):
cheese going. Yeah, and thenyou put it on the pan, a
hot pan, and that'll turn thebottom back to a crispy Kross soft on
top, no soggy dog. That'swhat I do. Well, and see
what this chef does. His nameis Dom Mailer meller Uh, and he
shared a no fail method of makingyour secondy pizza first a quality. He

(04:12):
says, here things Drew might behere, onto something, get out a
pan with a lid, and heatit up. It's worth noting that this
video doesn't doesn't say what temperature thepan needs to be, but he says
it's like three or four once it'swarm. Three four out of ten.
Yeah, so he says, heatit until the pan gets hot, so
about right. So not too crazybecause at a three a pan completely hot,

(04:33):
like you left it on there andI got all the way hot,
you would burn your eggs almost immediately. Okay, So you got to think
if you turn it to four,well it's still cold, you'd be good.
Well, they say, Once hesays, once hot, place your
slice of choice onto the pan withoutoil or butter for about thirty seconds to
one minute, depending on how crispyyou want it. Then take a small
amount of water and lightly port ontothe side of the pan. Don't let

(04:55):
it touch the pizza because you don'twant it to get soggy. Then put
the lid on the pan and letthe slice steam up. Oh my god,
why don't you just go down tothe store and buy another fucking pizza.
Just grab a cold slice and putit in your mouth. Like this
is too much, I feel likeI get delivery. I do feel like
I could get delivery in the timeof stay right. I feel like he's
overthinking the softening of the cheese.That's why you microwave it to where it's

(05:17):
a little too soft for what youlike, and then once it hits the
pan, it already has all themoisture. I never use the lid adding
water. That's that's something you doto a fried egg, like you want
to do that to something that's alreadydoy. There's enough oils in the crust
to make it beautifully tasty. Anda lot of people will steam their their

(05:38):
grilled cheese, like a lot ofrestaurants that want to get it out quicker
because the bread gets toasted, butthe cheese doesn't melt. It's the same
thing and so they will put thatwater and use that. And restaurants do
it with burgers too. They'll flipa burger. They want that crust,
but they want to cook it quick, so they put some water on the
flat top and throw a lid overit to steam it. But dude,
there's an easier method than all ofthis. I mean, I guess the

(06:00):
frying pan's pretty easy. But whenI hear two steps. When I your
microwave then frying pan or oven thenfrying pan, I get a little bit.
I guess. I just I putit in, and I turn the
oven to four to twenty five,and I drop a pizza on a pan,
and I put it in while theoven's warming up. So it gets
a nice kind of slow and bythe time it hits four twenty five and

(06:21):
it beeps at me, the pizza'sdone, or it might need a minute.
If I want to go right,I do the same thing. Because
I'm impatient. I just throw thepizza in there as soon as I turn
the oven on, which the pizza, keep an eye on it, which
the pizza on, you know,the pre cooked That's all well and good,
but throwing the oven on is achore in a way, you know,

(06:41):
like, say it's summertime, doyou want your oven on? Do
you want to have like a twentyminute situation or a fifteen minute It might
be two steps, but it's twominutes. Yeah, even getting your oven
up to four twenty five, you'regonna be waiting around for a minute,
you know. But no bad wayseven minutes or so. But I guess
I'm ever been like, I don'tneed pizza inside of seven minutes ever.

(07:02):
And if I do, I wantpizza, I want to grab and go.
Yeah, you know, I wantto eat it with my eyes closed.
We've been there. I mean,all this, all this says to
me, I'm just gonna eat itcold. I mean, with all these
I never, honestly, I neverreheat my pizza. The only wrong way
to do it is microwave only.That's I mean, that's really, of

(07:23):
all these techniques, that's the onlyway I do it. I do it
like that every time, and Icook it for too long and I burn
the roof of my mouth. It'sjust yah, So just go less time
and work. The idea is thatthe pants already on and the microwave is
usually right above it, just likea slap. Yeah, right there,
So there you go. That's whatthat's what this uh this chef says.
He says, it's the best wayto reheat your pizza, to do it

(07:43):
that way, with the you know, with the steaming. I did interesting.
I talk to a chef buddy ofmine about this one time and he
told me and Tanner, you're gonnahate this answer. But he said it
didn't. It doesn't really matter theway that you choose to do it.
The key is patience. You can'tdo it in a minute now. Patience
guy said, I was hungry.I need this now. Listen to this

(08:05):
man with the he's apparently got Britain'sbiggest penis. He describes the pitfalls in
a TV interview of having Britain's biggestpenis. So okay, so how big?
How big? Were talking like?First of all, is a slength?
Is this skirt? It's just overalllike what are we dealing with here?
Well, his name is Matt Barrand he has the distinction of being

(08:28):
the man who has the you know, Britain's biggest penis. On the UK
chat show This Morning, Bar wasfeatured. It was a featured guest and
talked about the pitfalls of being sowell endowed. He says, first off,
there's a myth to adult content thatcreated the impression that bigger is somehow
better. Barr says that now theworld is more focused on female voices and
perspectives, and things aren't as dongcentric as they were when he was growing

(08:52):
up. He says, when dating, Barr says it was tricky to find
the right moment to bring his memberup. So does speak so because it's
not something that you you just wantto spring on somebody like, hey,
by the way, my dick ishuge, Like in the moment where you
like, you also probably would kindof come off like a douchebag, like
is your really huge? Oh yeah? But when you said come up,

(09:15):
I thought you were talking about likeraising the Titanic, Like there's a lot
of girth here. You gotta geta lot of blood. Do I bring
this up? Paul I got awarm up for calisthetic. You don't say
anything, just wait until it comesout. I think that's because I think
a lot of women would be likewhoa they say, no, yes,
you have you guys been told?Because I saw a picture next to a

(09:37):
picture of the picture they put nextto him to reference the size of his
penis. Yeah, was wine bottle? No wine bottles and go. I
would imagine you'd have to like Tannerin like in reference to your question,
I feel like with that you haveto like warm up. You have to
about that because if he gets anerection, you can get light headed and

(09:58):
power. He could kill everyone inthe hall. The blood could just flow
right to his dick. It's badfor everyone involved. You could spear an
uber driver through the seat, likeyou gotta be see the same guy final
destination types. I just read yesterdayabout a guy who was banned from yoga
because his dick was too big.Maybe, I mean, gosh, he's
that If it's that big, itsucks right like and that can't be comfortable

(10:22):
even when it's flaccid. It's probablybig. Like when it comes to size,
like height wise. You know,I'm a short guy. It's like,
gotta be nice to be taller.You don't want to be seven to
six. You were like, Ijust wanted to be a little taller.
And I've seen, you know,I've seen porno movies where the guys,
you know, dick is so bigthat the girl can't really even do anything
with it right, her mouth hasgot it on the head. And that's

(10:43):
about like, how like, how'sthat feel like? And how fun is
that for you? You know whatI mean? It's just like as soon
as my pants came off, Amywould do the wrap it up sign.
I'm glad I don't have a wineglass. I don't are a wine bottle.
Whatever. It is too much,too much a good thing and non
sexual. It's the very top ofthe wine bottle. We'll get skinny.

(11:03):
I can that be fine? Butwhat about you at the movies and you
like, we all know what it'slike when maybe your pants are too tight
or you had to get some notcomfortable underwear. You don't like feeling like
your wiener's being pushed into your theside of your leg or else it's going
to start growing doing weird things.How do you readjust a wine bottle?
Yeah, like, I like itbeing incognito when it's not in use.

(11:26):
There's something to be said about anaverage sized penis. Yeah, it's fine,
exactly fine. It has to beable to serve the purpose pleasure a
person and not be a ton ofa pain in the ass to move around
here. If you know how towork it. You don't need a giant
dick, right, wine bottle's gotto be hard to maneuver around the harbor.
God. Yeah, even just alone, No, that just seems like

(11:48):
a burden. He's just like cockcock boom when he's alone. That thing
is a sod Off shotgun. Yeah, and how much. Now that you
guys have brought up painfully average penises, I guess you're ready for my input.
No. I actually there was onlyone thing I wanted to uh to
hit here while you guys before weleave the subject, And it was when

(12:09):
you're talking about like a person thattalks about their own penis, like whether
it be size or whatever. Isthat not just the instant like that is
a person I don't want to bearound. I don't want to hang out
with. I don't want to havetheir phone number in my phone. But
also I know that they're lying.It's like a gambler that only tells you
stories about winning, and it's like, oh, I never lose, dude,

(12:31):
you lose all the time. Youdon't have a giant penis, And
I just like it's something a highschool kid says, you know, something
ail immature. And also even ifyou do have a big penis like,
don't talk about it, just youknow, I want to see what you
can do with it, because thechances are you can't do dick. He's

(12:56):
he's got no move. Just becauseyou have a big dick doesn't mean you're
good and bad peer. End ofstory. And even if if we would
change it, we shouldn't call ithaving sex anymore. We should call it
doing dick. Hey, can youdo dick? Can you do dick?
And nobody likes someone can dick whobrags on their on their perks anyway.
You know, it's like even ifhe is great in bed and the thing
is just a beautiful schlung that peoplewant to paint, nobody else wants to

(13:20):
hear that. On a journey day, like you walk in and you're like,
this dick has arrived. Duck.All right, dude, friendship's about
over if you keep this up.All right? The dick like, I
don't think you And it's like beingthe fastest guy in the room. Do
you want to tell people like,hey, it'll out sprint you in the
hallway. No, you too cool. I don't care about your stats.
Yeah, but this dick, dick, I hear somebody talking about their dick,

(13:43):
I just go hear a boner,bro, you're just like, but
you should see it when it's abonum. Speaking of bonus one right now
talking about my dick. Dick,dick, venuses and testicles are only existent
for our amusement and like laughing aboutthem when they're not in use. Yeah,

(14:05):
you know what I'm saying, Likejokes, great, it is funny,
how hilarious. How's how serious thingsget when you're in the moment.
But everything outside of that, it'sjust like dick, isn't it funny that
we we love our dick so muchand we're all penis, you know,
heavy? But then you don't wantto be called a dick or a penis,
right, Like, it's fine,I'm not penis. Yeah, I

(14:28):
don't be called penis. If youcan't penis, I'd be fine with that
instead of my home and my penis. But I hear you saying you don't
Yeah, you don't want to becalled a dick. But yeah, but
if you say, hey, youdon't have a dick, you're offended.
Yeah, exactly, I need tohave one, but I don't want to
solely be one. Yeah, Yeah, it's funny too, because if I
want like the different names for it. It depends on whether or not you're

(14:50):
okay with me calling you. Likeif I walked in and was like,
what's up, you fucking pecker,you would probably be like, hey,
that's not very nice, Like whyare you calling me mean names? But
if I called you penis, it'sfine because it's kind of on and around.
Well, what about wiener, Marcus? If I called you wiener weener,
Yeah, that's weird, you knowwiener is. It's it's kind of
weird because I've had some some partnersin the past that that's how they refer

(15:13):
to it, which is a littleyou know, sometimes it's funny. But
like if they're like, hey,let me see your wiener, like,
actually, i'm celibating. Yeah,it just went into my body when you
said that, I have to waitfor it to come back out. You're
weener out of your underpants. I'llwait. It's weird, but it does.

(15:35):
Yeah, you're right, it doesn'tmake me laugh a little bit.
Yeah, like kind of underpants arebringing wiener back? Pants plants? They
really are like sentuate your wianer kindof dick? You have pants Dick,
you're casting a bit of a legshadow. You're gonna commit to it,
commit to the bit. So whenyou go to get the condom, be

(15:56):
like, hang on, I gotto get my wiener coat. You know
you got We all need some goodnews, right, We always need a
little bit of good news. There'sso much negative stuff in the news these
days. You turn it on andyou know it's it's always negative. Yeah,
doom zone, it bleeds, itleads, We get it, that's
right. But we need some goodnews. And here's a good story.

(16:18):
It's this home renovation finds this couplealmost seventy five thousand dollars in old coins.
Whoa nice? That is nice?Pretty good. Where do you where?
How So? Robert Fuchs and hiswife Betty Fuchs had decided to dismantle
the concrete floor in their farmhouse they'vebeen redoing, hoping to increase the height
of their kitchen. Is what theirplan was, increase the height. Okay,

(16:41):
When the concrete wall was removed orsorry, it wasn't a wall,
it's just what the concrete was removed, they discovered a quote, a horde
of coins that ended up being aroundfour hundred years old and valued in total
at about seventy five k is.One coin from the king One lot sold
for over sixty two hundred bucks onits own, and another James One coin

(17:07):
netted over three thousand dollars. It'ssmart to know what you got there.
We'd probably be dumbing up to dumpingin a coin star. Yeah right,
boom man. The only thing Ifound when I ripped up my flooring was
asbestos. That sucks. How comeI never find any good? I just
feel a raid on. Warning.If you find a bunch of stuff in
your wall, coins and you don'tknow what they are, hold on to

(17:29):
them. Oh yeah, because ifit's in the wall, it's there for
a reason, especially if it's anold house like this old farmhouse. Yeah,
we put a time capsule like abroke has a bro type thing inside
our frat house wall. It hadbeen renovated and we found an old thing
so it got put in there withit. That's now in Northwest Christian College.
So one day they're gonna under allthese fratty inappropriate, ridiculous there's a

(17:53):
can of dip in there. That'samazing light and they're just in there praying,
Yeah, my deck is it therein one picture of just like twenty
four year old paintis. One nCC student is going to have the most
epic night. Like he's gonna bea sophomore. He's gonna be digging around,
he's gonna find that, and he'sjust gonna go get hammered on one

(18:15):
beer, eat a full can ofdip and throw it over the Yeah.
If he opens up a can ofKodiac from two thousand and three and has
a dip, he's probably gonna seeGod and a magic bear. It's like
he is real. It's like,man, I'm ripping. Alright, Well,
there you go a little bit ofgood news. It's nice that these
people sound like they're getting that inthe older part of life. That uh

(18:37):
yeah, Betty Fuchs, Yeah soundslike Robert and Betty don't sound young.
So I'm assuming that they might bedoing okay now the nextra seventy five k
in their bank account, ambitious atthat renovation. I just want to make
the kitchen taller. What they don'tput in an island or anything. You
just want to make a taller right. How many stupid jokes being the Fuchs
have they had? What a fool? Okay, I get it. Run
the thanks. That's hilarious. Imagineif the guy with the giant dick was

(19:02):
named Fuchs. Yeah, I meanDick Fuchs. Yeah right, rich Richard
Fuchs. See tomorrow, one morepair of tickets to see Pete Davidson speaking
of big Dick, Yeah, Iguess so. And wine bottle you got
that, Charles shop there. We'llalso having free pizza for Papa Murphy's to

(19:23):
give away, and the four andthe four. They got to qualify somebody
for a brand new Lazy Boy,so we'll do all that tomorrow. We'll
see you the night. You've beenlistening to Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey
Show, heard daily at one ohfive nine the brew dot com. May
God have mercy on all of oursouls.