Honoring Memorial Day

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Episode Transcript

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Thank you for joining me. I'mRabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in
Houston. On this Sunday morning,when my podcast is first heard, we
are preparing to observe Memorial Day.It's Memorial Day weekend, and while many
people travel or look forward to spendingtime with family and friends for a day

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off and a weekend away, itdoesn't help that many other families are actually
observing the day for all that itmeans to us. Yes, many people
fought and lost their lives, madethe greatest sacrifice for our country so that
we could enjoy the liberty that comeswith the celebrations we have over the weekend.

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But we need to pause and thinkabout those who did lay down their
lives in war and other moments andevents and occasions so that we might celebrate
two Memorial Day takes on special meeting. It isn't for the veterans who still
walk among us. It is forthose who fought and died and laid down

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their lives so that we could enjoyours. Remembering those who are gone from
life is a part of human experience. All of us, at some point
or another, lose a loved oneor a dear friend, and the pathway
that we begin to understand, calledmourning and grief and living with memory becomes

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part of our life experience. Wegrow older wiser as a result. Those
who have served and sacrificed at thehighest level are remarkable people. Not all
of us have the inclination or thewherewithal to take up arms, to follow
orders and to go into battle orin areas of conflict, because we are

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commanded to do so, and wefollow up on our commitment and our oath
that we made to the well beingof our country. While all of us
are good citizens, we understand thelaws to live by and how to participate
in a democratic society. We havethe luxury in our country to go about
our lives without much discomfort at allwhile others are defending our about borders,

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our principles, and our special democracy. To understand Memorial Day and how we
approach the idea of death and dyingas we recall the memories of those who
have gone. Judism in particular ismystical and hopeful about death, but also
realistic, not fatalistic, but honestabout it too, And if you have

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the privilege or responsibility to share withchildren or young adults about death for the
very first time. Judism uses wordsthat are common in our vocabulary to talk
about death in morning. Sometimes wetalk about one who has passed on or
one whom we've lost. Sometimes wesay that so and so is at peace.

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Some say they're in a better place. But Judaism is also honest about
the reality of death. Sometimes it'sbetter to say so and so hasn't died
rather than passed away. To childrenwho are very literal to pass around means

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to pass back again, you mightlead them to ask the question, if
they passed away, will they passback? It leads to an uncomfortable answer
to a very honest and innocent question. Likewise, it's better to say to
a child that so and so hasdied rather than to say we lost it,

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because they know that something that islost might be found, especially if
we go looking for it. Youngpeople, image sure, people without the
life experience need the words and vocabularythat help them to enter into even grief,
which is difficult, but it's honestand it helps them to learn the
life lessons that while they face griefand it's difficult, it won't destroy them

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or kill them. It will allowthem to face human emotions with honesty and
clarity, especially when it's modeled byparents or grandparents. So to say that
we've lost them is a kind wayof putting it. But let's also be
clear with those who need to understandbetter that we're not expecting to find them

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as well. It isn't uncommon tosay that somebody is in a better place,
and heaven, or however we imagineheaven, might very well be the
place we hope that they arrive at. But for those who are in deep
mourning and who may not cling tothat image or hope for heaven yet,
or maybe not at all, isn'tit kind perhaps or more honest for sure

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to say that the best place forthat individual is right here next to you
in your living room, accompanying youthrough life as you've come to know that
person. Simply to say that they'rein a better place because this place was
never as good isn't helpful. Itisn't comforting, at least not yet.

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But sometimes we can say that somebodyis at peace, especially if they've suffered,
even in combat, even in wartime, if they've struggle from ptst or
the ailments that might follow some injuriesfrom war and battle. To be at
peace after the suffering is an honeststatement too, And what a comforting and

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consoling wish we wish to extend tothose who have struggled alongside their loved one.
But what really does come later?In Judaism, we're honest about what
we can observe, irv and see. As a reformed Jew, I've often
said, until someone comes back totell us, we can't possibly know for

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sure. We've grown up at anage of enlightenment, science, reason,
and rationality, and so to seeit is to believe it. So what
kind of belief can we also bringto this subject so that we might see
something that is also comforting and healingtoo well? To go back to the
very origins of Judaism, Resurrection isa fundamental Jewish belief that in the end

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of days and all the dead willrise Read the story in Ezekiel about the
Valley of dry Bones, that allthe tissues and sinews and blood and bones
will rise up again. And thoughwe have organ donation today, it's been
explained that in the end of days, God being God, can bring it

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all back together the way it's meantto be. So resurrection, which originated
in Judaism, it became a profoundowned principle and theme in Christianity, is
a hope that we can still clingto even as we suffer and mourn the
death of a loved one, butwithout resurrection, because it is so far

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out there and maybe not part ofeverybody's theological outlook. We also come to
explain that the body returns to theearth, and the soul which God created,
and each of us returns the Godwho gave it, and so the
immortality of the soul is something alsothat we can cling to. Very often
people will say to me, asI'm sure they've said to you, that

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their presence is around us, wherewe feel their spirit is with us,
they accompany us through our lifetime.However, we imagine that presence in our
life is about the immortality of thesoul. That very essence of a person,
their personality, the way they touchedus with their love and their embrace,
is something that is completely gone aslong as we remember. And while

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we might not hear their voice theway we used to, we hear them
in the echo of our minds becausewe know what they would have said.
We might not feel they're embraced theway that we did either, But we'll
always know how they made us feelwhen they held us close. And we
might not see them around the corneras we turn the corner and our home,

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or on the driveway as we usedto when they arrived home punctually each
day, but we'll be able toenter those moments and feel again how we
felt when they were there. Andso not all is completely gone, and
certainly not completely lost. What's more, we sometimes say that a good name

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endures beyond the grave, because asthe old saying goes, you can take
it with you. And so whenwe lay the body and the grave to
rest eternally, the good name ofindividual endures forever as long as we recall
at person. And so a youngperson who dies in battle or in defense

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of our country, an older persontoo, who has died for similar reasons
or for other reasons, their goodname endures. And ultimately that's all we
have left after we are gone,And so Memorial Day becomes all these things
and so much more. But what'smost important is that even though we have

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suffered this loss, this death,there are so many ways to resurrect,
as it were, their name theirpresence, their spirit, the joys that
they helped us to know. Andas I've taught before, there are two
kinds of tears that we shed,the Talmud teaches there are demochelashan the tears

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of smoke, the kinds that stingour eyes. Because death and mourning are
difficult, even if it's been manyis, Memorial Day concentrates our focus in
time to remember them dearly. Butthey're also called demot chal perote tears of
fruit, the kinds that we shedthat come with joyful memories, laughter,

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because they helped us feel loved andloving when they were with us and continue
to help us feel that way today. So we balance our feelings, and
while we may be mournful, weshould also find a way to smile and
remember them gladly. Most important isthat the person who served and died lived

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for a purpose. Their lives werenot for naught, and we honor them
every day. But Memorial Day focusesour attention on the sacrifices they made so
that we might live in freedom,liberty, and exercise our democratic rights to
vote and contribute to the common good. That's the way to honor their lives,

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To be sure that they didn't diein vain, but in fact we
hold up, defend, and voteto be sure that everything they fought for
continues to remain in the institutions ofour democracy and we can continue to be
proud Americans like they are and theywere. Judaism too observes Memorial Day.

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We observe other Memorial Days too,four times a year, in fact,
linked to holy days. Yum Kipursucote passover and she would vote. We
isolate a part of our worship serviceon those four holy days, remember our
beloved dead, and to pray thatGod would remember them too very often.

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I'll end my memorial message and mycongregation with these words, Oh God,
remember our loved ones, the men, women and children who graced our days,
that we may know that love oneshared in this world is a love
that endures in the peace of lifeeternal. May you embrace them God as

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they once embraced us, Love themas they loved us, And then with
grateful hearts, may we all becomforted Amen. On this special weekend leading
into Memorial Day. It's certainly myhope that all of us can lift up
the memories of those who are goneand especially those who honored us with their

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lives to defend us and create agreat United States of America of which all
of us can be proud. I'mRabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in
Houston. To listen again or sharethis message, please find it my podcast
called Heart to Heart with Rabbi DavidLyon at Sunny nine dot com and on
the iHeart radio app. If you'rein the park having a picnic around the

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pool and the backyard, are justgathering with friends on Memorial Day doing American
thing, take a moment, raisea beer, raise a glass, a
hot dog or a hamburger, andhonor those with a few words to remember
that Memorial Day weekend is much morethan mattress sales and car sales, and

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more than barbecues. It's a meansof celebrating what we have because of those
who have given to us all thatthey had their very lives. We remember
them, we honor them, andhope that their families too will always have
in their minds and in their heartsthe gratitude that we have for the lives

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that were given to separate us fromother forms of government that do not lead
all of us to be at ourvery best. We want to pray as
we wish, we want to liveas we wish. We want to share
the common good and communities of faith, diversity, and hope where all of
us can come together. And so, however you are spending your weekend or

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your day, be sure to honorthe memory of those who have given their
lives for us, embrace those whostand for good things for all people,
and enjoy the holiday that all ofus work for. We provide for and
look forward to celebrating. Certainly theyoung people who are finishing school or nearly

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so look forward to the break thatis followed by vacations and summer camp and
all the things that make life inAmerica so rich, so joyful and good.
Let's continue to honor those who gavetheir lives for us by doing all
the things that they would want todo, and all that they would want
to us to celebrate as well.I wish you the very best on this

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Memorial Day, and hope that thememories of those who are dear to you
continue to be a source of joyand love and comfort. Thank you for
joining me. I look forward tobeing with you again. Next time,