Start With Kindness

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Episode Transcript

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Thank you for joining me. I'mRabbi David Lyon from Congregation Ath Israel in
Houston. I must admit that,after long days and a lot of work,
that I still enjoy very much.I like to break the habit and
the cycle with binge, watching somefavorite shows on streaming sources, and to

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find some good movies to watch.I often look for the list of Academy
Award winners or those that have beennominated for Oscars, because they represent some
of the best features that we shouldspend our time watching and enjoying. When
I first heard the title of theOscar winning film Everything Everywhere, All at

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once, I thought it was anothername for a bad day with children at
Chucky Cheese. But it's not.It's a name of a fascinating movie.
I'm not a movie critic, butit felt like the perfect combination of every
sci fi movie, tech gadget andmetaverse concept floating out around there. Jumping

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from one universe to another with aBluetooth device makes me wary about touching my
AirPods when they're in my ears,but I promise no more spoilers. As
rabbis tend to do, it's difficultto watch a movie without asking what's Jewish
about this? Sometimes the answer isnothing, but this movie must have something

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Jewish to say if it hasn't everythingBagel as a key prop no more spoilers,
I promise. In the movie,the metaverse introduces us to the possibility
that other parallel universes exist. Oddas it seems, and odd as parallel
universes are portrayed in the movie,the idea isn't completely contrary to what we

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read. Even in Genesis Chapter one. All we can know for sure in
the beginning of creation is it outof chaos came order. Even medieval commentators
recognized that the order of creation recordedin Genesis didn't outline how it happened exactly
day after day. Instead, wecould only know that order followed chaus and

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it is in order and not inchaos, that Torah finds its meaning.
Furthermore, midrash, that is,rabbinic interpretation, interprets the beginning of creation
coming after many failed attempts at creation. Though early attempts failed, it isn't
far fetched that the Rabbis of oldalso wandered about the larger potential universes beyond

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the sky, the stars and theheavens, and so to bind them all
together. It follows that they describeGod as melech Aulam, ruler of all
the universe. It brought it altogether. It felt safer that way. Jewish
mysticism expanded and validated the conversation.Though reform Judaism has done less with mysticism

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because it reforms preference for rational andreason spiritual inquiries. Jewish mysticism is a
deeply interpretive means of delving into themysteries of the world. It's a place
where inquiry is welcome. At best, it reveals more about Torah without disabling
us from believing or a belonging.After the movie settled the score with other

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universes and after all the chaos ended, the focus wasn't war or conflict.
It wasn't about victors and losers.It was about bringing disparate parts of the
universe into harmony with the zake ofgreater order, a greater good. While
I waited for Love to be overplayedas a gratuitous nod to religious hopes and

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spiritual cliches, it actually did betterthan that. It went beyond my expectation.
The movie picked a new means ofhealing, belonging, and living.
It wasn't love, it was kindness. The world could be brought into harmony
and no wellness with kindness. Overmany millennia, love has been defined set

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to music, rhymed written about,longed, for, abused, and forgotten.
Love has been an end but nota means. But if kindness moves
ahead of love as a means toan end and not just an end,
then we might enjoy much more fromkindness along the way. It can be
a means to love, but itcan also be a means to understanding,

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patience, unity, and belonging.It doesn't require us to be more than
we are, especially if we're notcapable of love, But who is incapable
of kindness? In Leviticus, Chapternineteen, verse eighteen, we're commanded to
love our neighbor as we love ourselves. It became a golden But more exceptional

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than the single verse are all themyriad ethical commandments in Torah that spell out
how to be kind when one's oxscores its neighbor, when one loses a
possession and a neighbor finds it,or one's hunger becomes a neighbor's concern.
It isn't love the kindness that theethical teaching commands. Love is an ideal

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end. Kindness is an impairtive means. For example, last February, I
was in Israel for a rabbinic convention. In Jerusalem. I found an exceptional
coffee kiosk near the hotel at theoriginal train station, which is now a
place for food and shops and coffee. The two young men who operated the

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kiosk war Israeli Arabs. While theymade my coffee, the young man who
spoke English, asked me do youlove Palestinians. It was less a challenging
question and was an odd question.I told him, I can like Palestinians,
but I'm not sure I can saythat I love them. I like

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the French, but I can't saythat I love the French. You see
the dilemma. It could have beena matter of translation problems. Because oh
heave in Hebrew means both like andlove. You can easily ask if someone
likes coffee or the French or Palestiniansusing the same word. But to Americans,

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to English speakers, asking if welove anything or anyone is too much
all at once. We prefer tobegin with like and then move to love.
Even so, the conversation was enjoyable, the coffee was outstanding, and
we spoke about mutual hopes for thecity and the region. Kindness won the

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moment in the movie, everything everywhere, all at once. The evil doers
were ultimately transformed by kindness. Whetherthey loved again was irrelevant. It might
come and go, just like loveoften does. But the possibility for love,
it turned out, would come throughkindness. Between every protagonist and antagonist

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in the movie, Kindness melted disharmony, enmity, and district It smoothed over
generational issues, gender matters, andrelationships that needed a second chance. None
of it happened because of professed love. It happened because kindness open ears to
hearing, arms to embracing, andhearts to understanding. In the end of

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the movie, the most vile characterscame to possess all the qualities of persons
we would actually like to know better. And isn't it the perfect ploy to
pin our worst expectation than assumptions ona tired and grumpy IRS agent. If
you can soften the heart of acrusty IRS agent, then kindness is really

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powerful, really no more spoilers.Finally, like any Hollywood movie, it
ended relatively happily, and that happinesscame down to one needful thing, simple,
unadorned kindness, and a world filledwith brokenness and complexities, with worn
out leaders and few, if any, inspiring successors. It's no wonder that

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we're looking for one needful thing.It's no wonder that we're looking at everything
everywhere, all at once. We'rein a hurry. Life is short,
problems are mounting. If we candigest vast amounts of information and calculated efficiently,
that we might have the one needfulthing we need to run our household,

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enjoy prosperity, and even have theweek end to ourselves. But the
movie concluded that everything everywhere, allat once isn't their key to resolving anything.
On the contrary, only things insome places occasionally helps us identify what
matters most. And to say itagain, it all begins with kindness.

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It's what every human being who longs, aches and suffers or already knows joy,
happiness and love still relies on.Kindness is the beginning of human goodness
that can lead to feelings of love, or even better, to love itself.
If you haven't seen the movie,please see it. If you have

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seen it, you might offer meyour own critique. Yes, in its
own Hollywood way, this Oscar winningmovie has a message for us, and
yes, it isn't far from Toro'sbeginning that prefers order over kay us as
a means of finding our best lifeat home, at work, and in

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the community. We all have beentested to find our way out of challenges
between people people, even to softenthe hearts of those who are crusty or
curmudgeons. Sometimes we try love becausewe're commanded to love our neighbor, and
sometimes it works, but more oftenI suspect that it fails because it is

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too much all at once. Butsmall kindnesses are ways to bridge gaps between
us, to demonstrate that many ofthe ethical teachings that all of our sacred
face provide us are means to betterarrangements between us two, and that kindness
builds and accumulates. Perhaps there mightbe like that follows it. Perhaps there

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might be love. But love isan extraordinary outcome that is usually limited to
fewer relationships or the best of thebest relationships in families, between family members,
perhaps even between dearest friends. Butlike is something we can reach,
and kindness is the means to it. I suppose that you could discover examples

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in your family circle where kindness isa bridge to better affection and better relationships.
Certainly in a workplace where there aredifferences in conflicts and challenges, egos
and competitions that sometimes spoil our effortsto be at harmony with each other and
to accomplish shared work and shared outcomes. How many times, as a manager

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supervisor question the bottom line, buthow to improve it depends not only on
product and productivity, but also onthe people who participate in that process.
Like and kindness can be the meansto all the things that we reach.
Love doesn't have to be the ultimatecommandment or outcome. It really is kindness.

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And yes, we are part ofmany concentric circles of universes. They
aren't really beyond us in parallel times, like the movie suggests, we are
part of many social circles, andthose universes sometimes are separate between work and
home, between community and family,but sometimes they overlap, and sometimes they

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work in harmony, but sometimes alsoin conflict. How do we manage these
remarkable universes? That we are apart of. Because we don't live simple
lives that are monolithic. We serveand live in quite complex worlds. The
movie imagines them as parallel universes.But we see on earth not something in

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the sky, but something right infront of us. What do we do
with it? How we manage itwill be a result of something that we
also invest in it. What I'msuggesting in the movie I think taught us
well is that the world is onlycomplicated when we make it complicated. It
is simpler when we make it simpler, and when we approach people with what

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we hope they will receive from usfor the sake of a better relationship.
We don't have to start with everythingeverywhere, all at once. It isn't
love but basic kindness that might healthe way. Let's try kindness again.
Let it lead to forgiveness, Letit lead us to open minds and hearts,
and also possibly to feelings of love. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation

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at Israel in Houston. For listenagain or share this message, please find
on my podcast called Heart to Heartwith Rabbi David Lyon. You'll find it
at sunny com and the iHeartMedia app. As Memorial Day comes and families gather,
as summer comes and families take breakstogether, we might need to remember

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what else to pack in our suitcaseas we make our journey together. It
isn't only clothes in swimming suits.It isn't only suntan lotion and special treats.
It's also a reminder to be kindbecause it is kindness that opens hearts
and brings us together. And eventhose who might be crusty and old and
perhaps even mean, can be touchedand affected by kindness over and over again.

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It becomes a habit becomes habit forming, and in that effort we might
ultimately find that love is also there. We don't have to wait for it,
we don't have to expect it.But let's begin together to see what
difference we can make in all theplaces that we go and the people that
we spend time with. I hopeas you or week continues to unfold,

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and school ends and summer camp beginsand all those good times approach, that
kindness will follow us as a veryimportant tool in our toolboxes to bring people
together and enjoy a less complicated life. Because we've made the effort to make
it simple. Thank you for joiningme. I look forward to being with
you again next time.