Success Becomes Us

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Episode Transcript

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Welcome. I'm Rabbi David Lyon fromcongregation both Israel in Houston. Isn't it
true all beginnings are hard. Aswe get older, we begin to see
patterns emerge from our life experiences.It might begin in high school. At
least it did for me near thetop of my class. When I graduated,
all my work began over again incollege. Ready to graduate college,

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which a lot to show for it. All my work began again in rabbinical
school. In every new beginning therewere new names, new routines, and
new personal professional relationships. It's truefor all of us. We arrived at
the college campus ready to learn.We arrived at our first jobs, or
our second or third, ready tomake a difference. But each new beginning

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was hard, and in every newbeginning we felt vulnerable. We are the
sum of our life experiences. We'realways growing and learning, or at least
should be. So we lean intothat future with experiences we've gathered, and
with faith in that future too.On the one hand, we can feel
excited about what is possible and allthe new ways will learn and grow,

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But on the other hand, wecan also feel nervous. On the first
day in a new role is truefor all of us, even for the
ones we call the great ones ofour generation, those great mentors, leaders
that we've observed, and sometimes weconclude they had it so easy because of
their great talents and wisdom. Mypredecessor, Rabbi Samuel carve A blessed memory,

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was a great rabbi of his generation, of any generation. To be
sure, he wrote in his bookPermission to Believe, about his personal struggle
at a juncture in his life.Though he is remembered for his stable and
reliable presence, for his impactful lessonsdrawn from Torah and its teachings, and
for his brilliant interpretation of our traditionfor our day, he was, as

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he readily acknowledged, just a humanbeing, a flesh and blood. What
differentiated him from us was his willingnessto admit that though he was limited because
he was human, faith enabled himto overcome as limitations to do what he
was called to do and to bewho he needed to be. In his

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book, he explained that he hada revelation, as he called it,
as a result of psychotherapy and Jewishstudy. He scribbled on a scrap of
paper the words that he explained,leaped from his mind to pend faster than
he could write them, and thisis what he wrote. I am of
worth, even though sometimes I messup or fail, because I am created

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in the image of God. Ihave tasked to do. I should focus
not on whether I will succeed orfail, but on doing the task I
am intended to do with all myheart as an offering to my creator.
I must believe that if I doall I can, God, the Redeemer
and helper, will somehow sustain me. Before Sam led others, you see,

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he led himself through junctures of hislife, and the rabbit it and
the junctures of our own life.How can we, like Sam, honor
God with what we are intend todo with all our hearts, and to
do so as an offering to ourcreator? And when we stumble, can
we find sustenance in God's presence,who upholds us as redeemer and helper to

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We've all wrestled in this way becauseyou and I were brought up to aim
for perfection. We were told practicemakes perfect. Now a cynical comedian once
replied, I was told that noone is perfect, So I stop practicing.
But for those who are urgent aboutsucceeding. Aiming for perfection begins early
in life and follows them every day. Do you remember when you and I

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were in college and we wrote paperswithout the aid of a computer. After
writing it in pen or pencil,long hand and incursive, we used an
electric typewriter, which was high tech. Professors demanded onion skin paper, and
when they held the paper to thelight, they expected perfection, no typos,
and no white out either. Exceptfor the technology, nothing has changed.

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Professors still demand perfection and they stillhold their students to high standards.
An attorney friend of mine told methat in the old days, when young
associates aim for partner in the bestlaw firms, their hours were long and
demanding, but to make the bestimpression, they had to buck up and
go beyond what was expected of them. He told me that at the end

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of the day, young associates wouldleave for the day, but they used
to leave the light on in theiroffices with a coat on the hook behind
the door, to leave the impressionthat they were still in the office.
To day, they turn out thelight, they take their coat, and
they close the door. The humanendeavor to be great in strength and wisdom

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will never cease. Judaism calls onus to find our inner strength and wisdom
and to use it for good.Jewish thought further urges us to see the
world for what it is and transformit into what it ought to be.
We are not merely tenants here.We are stewards of the land who are
tasked with a living tradition founded onprophetic teachings to improve the world. The

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task is admittedly overwhelming, but itis not insurmountable. In his book Renewing
the Covenant, doctor Eugene Borrowitz ofBlessed Memory explains faith as reflected in our
eternal covenant with God. He putsit this way. When we seek God
as partner in every significant act,we invest our doing and deciding with direction,

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hope, and worth, and wherewe fail, we have the possibility
for repair. Perhaps I've taught thatto you before. I don't mind sharing
with you again because I found itto be profound. I hope you do
too. I hope you join infinding meaning and Borrowitz's proposal for us partnering
with God when we invest not justin small matters, but in significant acts,

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as he calls them, makes allthat we do and decide better from
Jewish teachings, wisdom and experience,direction, hope, and worth become reliable
ingredients that diminish our vulnerability. ButWorrowitz doesn't claim that such a proposal makes
us more than human. The remarkableoutcome is that we never cease to be

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human. Where we fail, heconcludes, we have the possibility for repair.
Now, Borrowitz didn't write when wefail, but where we fail he
assumes that we will, but hecannot predict in what circumstances we will fail.
He only posits that with God aspartner, we will always find in

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God's presence the possibility for repair.The wisdom of borrow It's as thought is
found in the example of Rabbi Karf'slife's work, and I would dare say
that if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for us. With
faith, we believe in the blessingof our own life, granted us by

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a love and God into a worldthat, while broken, is entrusted to
us to make better. As wefocus on our family, community, and
workplaces, perhaps it is at homewhere we can begin this task of appreciating
our humanity, which means our vulnerability, and to appreciate that while we can

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have some successes in the relationships weshare it with those who live at home
with us, we might also stumble. We might also fail, and if
we can find new ways to overcomethose missteps with faith in God that as
we aim to repair our relationships withthose at home, then God too will

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forgive us because we've made an effortto make things whole again. Perhaps with
a child, perhaps we raised ourvoice, or not taken them seriously,
or not even believed in their honestwords. Perhaps the simple words of I'm
sorry, try me again. Willyou share with me what you said because
I'm not sure I heard it completely, Or when you speak to me in

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this way, it makes me feelthat you might be hiding something. Such
a conversation not only heals the relationship, it teaches the children that there are
ways to approach a gentle, vulnerable, serious, and sometimes scary conversation that
deals with truth and dishonesty, withvulnerability and aiming for greater confidence and security,

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and creating the safe and brave placesfor children to engage with adults who
hold so much power over them enablesthem to believe that with other adults at
school, in workplaces, and elsewhere, they might have the skill set to
engage that adults who holds power overthem there with greater success or at least

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an effort to try to do betterwith them. Perhaps at home. Then
the relationship in the conversation can leadto something more successful, greater love,
forgiveness, forgiveness and then love.It can become a pattern that builds trust
and confidence at home that can goelsewhere too, and between partners. I've

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often said to young couples getting marriedthat a Hollywood might create an image that
couples who are greatly in love andgliciting with beauty and glamor have it all.
It's a false impression because love,while nice, doesn't count as much
as communication does. To hold thatmarriage together to overcome the challenges it require

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personal attention and deep consideration if aperson's feelings, how they need to be
heard, and the words it needto be spoken. But to know that
we can't always be perfect spouses whoalways have everything that our partner needs enables
us to face out of vulnerability withhonesty and to know that in God's presence
too. As we make the effort, perhaps it will be received by our

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partner and also honored by God toappreciate that we are always learning, always
growing, And as Rabbi Carf said, if we make the effort to step
forward, God will meet us thereand help us as redeemer and helper to
know that we are okay. Weare as good as we can be today,

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and we can be even better tomorrow. All the more in the community
where we meet friends and neighbors,and especially in our workplaces, a sense
of calm, or at least lessanxiety can overcome us when we feel more
in control of the steps we cantake to build better relationships with others,

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even the person who teases us atwork or nags us. A little bit
I learned long ago to laugh atyourself can disarm a person who wants to
make you miserable with his teasing orher nasty words. Laughing being a little
more self deprecating can ease the tensionand perhaps even reveal that the person who's

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creating the tension might be insecure himselfor unsure of herself. We become in
greater control when our sense of vulnerabilityis strengthened by understanding that it isn't us
perhaps it's them, but rather thanattack them or blame them, we actually
have a role in restoring and creatinggreater strength than that interpersonal relationship too.

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It might not be the loving relationshipat home, but in a workplace it
can be a professional relationship that demandsour effort to improve it. As such,
we bring our best offering to Godby appreciating that this person, all
those who seems like an antagonistic personality, is nonetheless also created in the image

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of God, and we need tofind the spark within that person that might
be able to do better. Andif by doing better creates a better working
relationship with us, then we've donesomething good for ourselves to make work a
better place to be, but alsoa professional relationship with greater friendship all around
us. It's a win win,and it helps us to know that even

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in those vulnerable places, we cancontinue to grow and learn. I'm Rabbi
David Lyon from Congregation at Israel inHouston. To listen again or share this
message, please find it at mypodcast called Heart to Heart with Rabbi David
Lyon at Sunday n Com on theiHeart media app. As this week begins,

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I hope that the value of ourlife may be reflected in the words
that we speak and in the deedsthat we do. May they always be
at their best and offering to God, in whose love we are lifted up
and when we fail, and inwhose presence we stand upright in our hearts
every day. That's our hope tofind the strength between us, but always

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as we stand before God every day, to know that we are bringing our
best, offering our best effort.Will we be rewarded? I hope so
in the ways that you feel happier, stronger, and better with all the
people who share time with you eachand every day. I'm Rabbi David Lyon.
Thank you for joining me. Ilook forward to being with you again

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next time.