The Golden Middle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in Houston.
I might be in Houston, but all of us are
living a shared experience. We're living in a world filled
with extremes. We call it polarization. We call it all
kinds of words that help us find ourselves in the

(00:22):
midst of a world that is filled with rage and uncertainty.
Are we on the right? Are we on the left?
Are we extreme? Are we passive? All kinds of words
are used by us against us to define us. And
these aren't the first times when such words are used.

(00:43):
In such times have been experienced that going way back
in history, we discover that many thinkers and thought leaders
we're aiming to help us find a place where we
can experience life at its best, but not on the
ex dreams, not on the far right, and not on
the far left. We go as far back as the

(01:06):
twelfth century. Moses ben Maman, commonly known as Mimnodies and
also referred to by the Hebrew acronym Rambam, was a
Sephardic rabbi and a philosopher who became one of the
most prolific, influential Torah scholars of the Middle Ages, and
one of his gifts to us as we've learned about

(01:29):
him and revered his teachings, is he spoke about and
helped us understand the value of a golden mean. Not
a golden rule like we know so easily love your
neighbor as yourself and others, but a golden mean. Here's
how he put it. A golden mean defines virtues as

(01:51):
psychological dispositions between extremes of excess and deficiency. The good
deed is equal balanced, maintaining the mean between two bad extremes. Now,
one might say, what's wrong with being far right or
far left? Are those bad extremes? They are, in my

(02:14):
monody's opinion, because one can't find either true meaning or
true happiness or coexistence if we live on the extreme,
because the extreme is so far from the other side
that there's very little opportunity or advantage to talking, listening,
experiencing what we can and to live on such an extreme,

(02:38):
either right or left, can exhaust us. It can deplete
us from the rage or the passivity that those positions
require of us. So the good deed is equal balanced,
balanced in the middle, that is, maintaining the mean between
two bad extremes. For example, he says, generosity is the

(03:04):
median point between stinginess and extravagance. See how it works.
Courage is the mean between recklessness and cowardice. Without freedom
to choose and act, there would be no ethics, he concludes,
And so we begin to understand his point. Pick any quality,

(03:26):
and if you pick one on the right, like courage,
we might be the ultimate hero, the superhero, the person
who jumps on the bungy rope or climbs a rock
or a cliff. We call that person having great and
enormous courage. On the other end, a person who is

(03:48):
reckless or has cowardice, that person is complete opposite. But
what we ultimately discover is that we can choose to
live on the far right or the far left, to
be incredibly generous or incredibly stingy. The freedom to choose
is ours, and that freedom to choose leads us to

(04:10):
appreciate that we are in control of the choices that
we make and the life that we want to live.
I've heard from some of you by email. I know
some of you who live around me who have said
that you don't enjoy living on the extreme or that
you fear that you have to maintain the energy that
it takes to stay on an extreme position rather a

(04:34):
place of some happiness. Is the golden mean, But how
to do it? Most faith traditions, including mine and Judaism,
cherishes free will. Yes, we live in covenant with God,
and God created us in God's own image, but also
with free will as the mission it teaches, and as

(04:56):
I've taught before, all is foreseen, but free will is given,
and the role of ethics is to be sure that
human beings have the privilege, the power, and the know
how to choose well. Without freedom, he writes, without freedom
to choose and act, there would be no ethics. And

(05:19):
therefore we have this opportunity to see, perhaps for the
first time, I hope not the last time, that living
on the far right or the far left such extremes
is not ultimately what we need to achieve to find
the golden mean means that we can have a little
bit of courage, We can have a little bit of cowardice,

(05:41):
even we can be very generous, and perhaps when we
need to, a little stingy. But the golden mean allows
us to lean left and lean right and find our way.
But more often than not centered in the middle, where
we can stand up straight and respond to the world
around us according to its needs. And since the world's

(06:02):
needs constantly change with the generations, with leaders with circumstances,
some of which we can control, in some we can't,
then we are better positioned to be standing straight in
the middle, in the golden mean, so that we can
look around and learn and respond and address according to

(06:22):
the times that we're living in. He further says one
should always cultivate the habit of silence and only converse
on topics of wisdom or on matters of moment to
one's existence. His point is that sometimes there is a
place where we need to speak up and say what

(06:44):
needs to be heard, but there are also times when
silence is golden. We know that phrase two. Silence is golden,
especially when we don't know what we're saying, when we
don't know what the moment requires. And silence also creates
the gap where others who know better, who have something

(07:04):
prepared to say, can speak. And what does it mean
for us? We become listeners, we become learners, and we
begin to understand. What's more, even if we can't agree
with the person who's speaking. The golden mean allows us
to stand at the place where we are without an
oppositional commitment to them. We can be cooperative. We can

(07:28):
say I appreciate what you're saying and thank you for
helping me to learn your opinion. It doesn't mean I
have to agree, it doesn't mean I have to follow you,
but I can certainly respect a person who has an opinion.
In fact, if we are completely oppositional to each other,
it also means that we have a certain responsibility if

(07:49):
we bear it to teach, to guide, to model, and
to make a difference in the heart of another human being.
As we've learned from Eliuisel, the only person who we
can change the heart of, even if that person begins
by hating us, is a person who is indifferent. The
opposite of lovees that is not hate, it's indifference. The

(08:09):
indifferent heart is a cold heart that can't be changed.
But we can see most human beings, most of them
as people who are able to listen to learn, and
certainly we can model that opportunity by the way we
behave and the position that we take where we stand.
And so moderation becomes a key not to be totally

(08:35):
obsessed with a thing or food, or exercise or anything,
but also not likewise completely indifferent to something that might
make a difference for us. The golden mean helps us,
especially in this day and age, to find a place
where we can be open, responsive and effective where we are.

(08:58):
I deal with so many different kinds of people all
the time in my role as rabbi in a congregation
in a big city with diverse feelings and attitudes, a
city where one hundred and forty five different languages are spoken.
I also lead a national board of reform rabbis, and
in this role, I discover the lives that rabbis are

(09:20):
living and leading in all the cities where they serve,
in the congregations, organizations, and institutions where they serve too.
And the diversity, while enormous, does not change the fact
that there is a common ground that we all share.
We all want happiness and success. We want the best
for our families, our friends, and our neighbors. We want

(09:44):
to know that we're doing the right thing at the
right time. And sometimes when we're pushed to choose, we
might find that the only answer is to the right
or to the left. To be extraordinarly generous, or to
be stingy or extravagan and yet those are false positions.

(10:04):
So maybe looking back in history to my monodies, we
might begin to value that in this time, especially when
polarization and extreme seem to be the norm, maybe we
have to go the other direction and find a place
not on the other side, but actually in the middle.
The golden mean allows us to appreciate what is on

(10:26):
either side of us, but ultimately what we need to
choose for ourselves in the middle. And that's why the
Jewish point of view helps us to see that freedom
of choice is a sense of autonomy. And I would
dare say that most of us in America grew up
with that sense of individualism, the pride of making personal choices,

(10:48):
but based on something sacred, based on something grounding and
true and enduring. So we're not making choices that are
just a part of moral relativism that if it feels
good to me, be good. We also check it against
enduring sacred texts, and then the golden mean, which we
personally choose for ourselves, is tethered to or connected to

(11:11):
something sacred. It's Jewish, it's Christian, it's Muslim seek. It's
whatever you are connected to yourself, And if you are
of no faith tradition, there are certainly secular standards which
are better than others, which help us to obey the law,
be good civic partners, and even be respectful of those

(11:32):
who do have a faith tradition. And in that position
we guard against and provide for ourselves an antidote to
the far right or the far left, and discover that
in the middle we actually accomplish more than we ever
thought we could. I've asked, in my position political leaders

(11:53):
who have the power to make all kinds of decisions
for the people they serve, how do you find you
or change the sentiment into expectations of people who have
been heading in one direction for so long. The answer
is invariably to meet at the table with reasonable people. Now,
if they don't know anything about my monodies, they might

(12:13):
not use the word the golden mean, but that's what
they're talking about. People who can find themselves in the center,
so they can turn right and left and find opinions
in attitudes that might inform their way. But by and large,
it's the golden mean where we stand in the middle,
where we find our strength, our focus, and our future together.

(12:38):
I'm Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel and Houston,
and to listen again, or please to share this message
with others You'll find in it by podcast called Heart
to Heart with Rabbi David Lyon on Sunday ninety nine
dot com and on the iHeartRadio app. As we look
forward to the Thanksgiving holiday and the winter holidays too,

(13:00):
it also means that we're coming around the table where
we meet family and friends again, perhaps for the first
time all year, or perhaps for the first time in
a long time. Oh, all the attitudes and opinions that
will be served up next to the turkey and other
good foods that we want to eat. How will we
position ourselves? It isn't just about sitting in the middle

(13:21):
of the table. It means bringing a golden mean that
perhaps you can address and prepare today so that you
can appreciate all the opinions at the table and even
model for them. What it means to stand in the middle,
so that you can learn from and address and arrive
at a place that this world truly needs. A reasonable

(13:43):
middle where all of us can be heard, where we
can speak and accomplish something for the future that is
different than the struggle and the strife that many of
us are feeling today religiously, politically, economically, and socially. Country
is a great country, Our people are great people, and

(14:04):
I think at the end of the day, we wouldn't
want to say that anybody else should suffer while I
thrive or vice versa. Everybody has an opportunity to choose well,
to have the freedom to choose the ethic and the
way that serves them and their families. Well, I've never
met anybody who didn't want the best for their family,

(14:25):
the best for their future, and to have the freedom
to choose their way according to the rules of the land,
according to the civic standards that we establish in honor.
And this can be a holiday season when we bring
all of that to bear as we give thanks to
God for the bounty that we share. Let it also
be an opportunity to thank God for the people with

(14:47):
whom we share life and family and joy, because we've
come to listen and understand each other better. So I
wish you well and a golden mean that you might
discover for yourself. Thank you for joining me. I look
forward to being with you again next time.