Becoming the Best Version of myself

In this inspiring episode of The 3 Parallels Podcast, Dr. Jason Branch sits down with Erin Odin, a healthcare sourcing specialist whose past year has been nothing short of transformative. Erin shares her journey of navigating grief, relationship challenges, and emotional overwhelm—only to rise into a new season of growth, healing, and self-discovery. Erin opens up about what it means to let go of control, embrace patience as a single mother, and stop shrinking herself out of fear. From landing a job promotion with remote flexibility to taking a life-changing trip to the West Coast and stepping into her dream home, Erin’s story is about reclaiming joy, confidence, and clarity. This episode is a raw and uplifting conversation about trusting the process, learning to love yourself in real-time, and focusing on your path without comparison. This episode is a reminder that healing isn’t perfect, growth isn’t linear, and you’re allowed to restart as many times as needed.

🎯 Listener Challenges to Create a Shift:

1. Write It Down, Then Walk It Out
. Take 10 minutes to write down 3 personal goals—big or small—and the first step toward each. Move your medicine, even if it’s one small shift at a time.
2. Accept Without Editing
Choose one person in your life to fully accept as they are this week—without trying to fix, save, or adjust them. Acceptance brings peace. Control brings tension.
3. Choose Self-Love Over Fear. Identify one area where fear has been holding you back. Replace it with one self-loving action—say yes to yourself, even if it scares you.

Connect With Our Guest:
My name is Erinn. I was born and raised in Dayton, OH. I graduated from the University of Toledo with a Bachelors in Psychology. I have two daughters and now we have a puppy which has become the third baby in the home. 
I love deep, meaningful conversations with people who are open to learning new things. I’m so curious about the mind. The key to understanding is asking questions, and I ask a lot of questions. 
So don’t hesitate to reach out. There’s an answer to every question.

Social Media:
Instagram: trustnluv 
Facebook: Erinn Odon
Email: [e-mail]

 
This episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor:
J Branch & Associates: Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by going to www.drjbranch.com; call or text [phone] 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back.

Speaker 2 (00:00):
Welcome back to the show Three Parallels Podcasts with your host,
the Doctor Jason Branch.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Yes, that is I. That is me.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
In tonight's guests, Today's guest, this morning's guest. Whenever you
listen to this podcast, guests, I bring to you is
a special treat. This is my sister from another mista.
She is awesome and always growing, learning and figuring herself out.
College educated, she serves as a sourcing specialist.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
And I'm gonna keep it simple.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
She's in healthcare industry because she does things that I
didn't even know existed. It's too much for me to
talk about, too complicated for me, so I let her
speak for herself. She is growing in discovering who she was,
who she is, and who she's trying to become. Ladies
and gentlemen, I introduce to you today, my girl, Aaron Oden.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Well, thank you. That was a hell of introduction.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
I mean, hey, my guests are special.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
I feel it and I accept it.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Okay, That's what I'm talking about, Listeners. I need you
all to know, you know it's okay to accept your flowers.
And this is a clear example of growth and someone
being able to accept flowers. So welcome, welcome, welcome, And
I'm curious you know, how you doing, how you living,
how you being?

Speaker 1 (01:17):
What's the latest?

Speaker 3 (01:19):
The latest is the greatest because life is good and
I feel like I've never been able to say that
and for it to last longer than the moment. We'll
have ups and downs, you know, but I've been able
to say this consistently for the majority of this year.
We in obvious about the September and yeah, it's been

(01:39):
a good year.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Wait a minute about the show just started? Like how
you how we going in and the show just started.
Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Let's just dive in. So you having the best year ever?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Like that's not something common that a lot of people say,
Like we hear people say it, but you're saying it
and we know you or getting to know you. So
if you don't mind sharing, what a tell us about
this best life best year here ever?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah? Okay, well, so, uh, long story short. Last year
was a rocky road for me. I went through a
lot of things relationship wise, parenting wise, and then all
came down trumbling when my grandmother passed away. Three months later.
A cousin passed away. So last year was heavy. Last
year was dark. Last year I was struggling in many areas.

(02:29):
But I feel like, you know, New Year's New beginnings.
That's the mindset that I had anyway, because I was like,
I can't get no worse than this when it could,
but I ain't thinking that way. I'm gonna think the
other way. So you started out this great that promotion.
My job came from being into the office Fridays a

(02:50):
week to the option of a remote life. And I'm
so used to a structured mindset. I'm thinking like, oh,
so does I mean I can only come in on
these days or stuff and that, And they left the
door wide those for me. So I've never experienced as
much work life balance and freedom. So that's one layer,
because you know, we all got to work, yes, and

(03:12):
this work life balance has been heavenly for me. I've
been able to do more with my children, take care
of personal business and still get that check and I've
been great with that. Then next thing rollout. I have
an epistany on the West coast. On the West coast,
so when I came downstairs for a visit, I got

(03:35):
more than I asked for and so I don't know
if something truly did take place that I just pa't
pinpoint one thing, or if it was just the fact
of getting away. But whatever happened over on the West Coast,
when I came back to Ohio, I was a different person.
I felt empowered to make decisions that enhanced my life.

(03:58):
And so ever since that moment when I returned, things
just started to roll the way they were supposed to roll.
I started saying yes things that I was hesitant, hesitant
to and being just free, Like I just feel like
I'm just freer to do things now. Don't get me wrong,
still have struggles and stress and you know, parents and stuff.
Kids still work my nerves, but I'm able to manage

(04:20):
it more because I just feel like, like, so all
of that taking place, and then I got a new
house to move to, a new house, a home that
I would consider to be a dream home for me
at this thus far in my life, and there's more
to achieve, but from what I was trying to get

(04:41):
since I was a kid, I finally got it. So
that's another breakthrough feeling. So to say the least, this
year has been amazing.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
It sounds like it.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Congratulations on everything, the job, the relationship, the parenting, the
new home, the vacations on the West coast, like all
of you living best life.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
And you said something that was really powerful. I want
to go back to.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
And what I heard you say was like it feels
lighter you let some things go if you don't mind
sharing a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
What does that mean? What does that look like?

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah? So I think I just had an issue with
control and always trying to just basically make things go
the way that I want them to go. I want
relationships because you are my feeling the black mother father,
I expect you to act like this to that. And
I was like, really trying to make that be true,

(05:39):
even in my own personal relationship. Yeah, trying to make
it true. Trying to make the you know, perfect picture
of a happy family for me. Trying to make that truth.
If it's true, you wouldn't have to try.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
We just got here.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Just what I be on, Like, this is what I'll
be on. Everybody can't handle it. I understand this level
of thinking. So I do get excited when I'm able to,
you know, just just talk freely and to those to
an audience who will actually understand. I just look at
me like crazy. Well, if you think I'm crazy, let

(06:21):
me be crazy. But I'm still pretty and enjoying my life.
So I think I kind of danced around your question,
but just being I think what rephrase the question for me?

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, like this changed this shift.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
It was heavy at first, and now it's not you
let something go, you let some things go.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yeah, I think I removed the barrier for myself. I
removed the barrier that was blocking me, for blocking me
from being myself because I was bound up by how
I would appear to others, what others would think if
I did this, even though this is what I really

(07:01):
want to do, I don't want to do it because
they do They're gonna think that I'm a mad person,
or they're gonna think that I'm just you know, no
good or whatever. But being able to just be sure
in yourself that if this is good for you, it
don't matter what they think or what they said.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
WHOA.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
And so I just adopted that concept in a lot
of personal relationships with some family and some friends. Basically,
just they present who they are. You either put it
or you don't, and it shouldn't be forced, and I
was forcing. I was doing a lot of forcing.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
But now I don't tell us more like this forcing,
And where do you think it started from the origin?
You know, like you're talking about some really deep stuff
that everybody may not get. They may not interpret at
this level where they are, but they can get here
because this is a whole other level of thought and
belief about self and about people, places and things.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Mm hmmmm, So okay. One example I can think of
is when you're at a job that you don't like,
but you feel like you have to stay there. Now
the reality is you have bills and you have to
pay those bills, but you don't have to get your
check from that place. And just being aware and not

(08:21):
being afraid to step out and apply for another position.
Some people can't even do that. They don't want to
lose their benefits or they don't want to what if
this happened, and what if it doesn't. So so I'm thinking, like,
in terms of a job, I went out on a
limb and I applied for a position within my company.

(08:45):
Just just this is an exam of it's not being
afraid because I'm fairly new to this department that I'm
in now, and I was just looking for opportunities to grow.
So I went out on a limb and I applied
for a position that I kind of felt like I
was not quite qualified for, but that didn't stop me.
Before previously I would have not applied, Like, no, I

(09:08):
don't have good predentionals. I can't. But whether I added
or not based off of credentials, I wouldn't know. You
know what I'm saying. When we get a job offer,
we just accept it. You don't always know why because
of X, Y Z, sometimes you do. So I applied
to this position and still I'm story short. Ended up
not getting it, but not being ashamed, not being embarrassed,

(09:31):
not being let down because I felt like I showed
that I wasn't afraid. Whereas before I would have been afraid.
I would have been held up like what other people
would think, she doesn't need that or she wasn't she
hasn't even been here long enough to take that position.
Like all those thoughts have no longer held me up
from doing it. It doesn't matter like whether I get

(09:52):
it or not, you know what I'm saying, Like I
still trust and believe that I would still be taken
care of no matter which way you go.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Wow. Wow, So how how were you able to get here?

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Like what you're sharing it makes sense to me because
I live the same life for a similar life, But
to others, like that's in that place where they are
stuck at this job and they feel as though this
is this is as good as it gets and I
can't afford my benefits and my kids and this and that.
Like they're in that place and don't know about this
other side that you just talked about, Like what was

(10:24):
the bridge that you crossed to get there?

Speaker 3 (10:30):
It's it's kind of hard for here to give a
straightforward answer because I just think I just always aspired
to do, to be, to feel, to live more, and
for the longest I just the the fear was louder
than the fact.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh all time out.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
You can't just drop that and keep moving. I can't.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
I'm sorry, I eat, but hold on real quick listeners,
especially listeners that got their journal. You get your scale
journal out. You need to write this down bars, So
could you repeat that one time about fear being bigger
than one more time?

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Yes, the fear that I had, the fears were louder
than the facts. M hm, the facts were. You can
achieve an accomplishation thing you want to and while we're
told that, we're not always shown that. Yeah. So because
I wasn't really shown that, you know, you can go

(11:29):
out and do absolutely anything, I believe that, well that's
just what they say, but that's not what happens. And
so I just felt like, well, if you don't have
a higher degree, you probably won't get a nice house
in a nice neighborhood. It probably won't happen. That's who
said that was a fact. Yeah, So I just started

(11:53):
to lean more into that, just reaching out doing things
differently more So, I feel like it kind of started
when I started to be isolated and being okay with
being by myself because once I was by myself, I
didn't have the other voices so loud in my ears.
So you know how there's a point in everyone's life

(12:14):
where they want to be around a lot of people
all the time. Yeah, I kind of had to stop
doing that. So when I stopped doing that, I did
more audio books, listen to you you know, different podcast
YouTube videos, and then just just going deeper in that direction.
And then for me personally becoming more aware of my spirituality.

(12:40):
For me, because I know everybody is gonna go there,
and that's fine to each his own. But for me personally,
once I began to really know my maker, I began
to know myself and to be more confident in myself.
So it's kind of like it just all tied in together.
I just kind of steered away from the negativity, even
if that meant family, even if that meant friends. Okay,

(13:01):
so workers that we normally kick it with on a
weekly basis, that you had to speer away and turn
towards things that look like what I wanted, sounded like
what I wanted, pushed me more towards where I wanted.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Wow, So yeah, I kind of had to make that decision.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Wow, that's next level.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
That's another level of self awareness where you knew yourself
well enough to know what works for you and what didn't,
and you wanted more. You started It sounds like you
started to notice like I'm kind of outgrowing these people,
places and things, and where I'm trying to go it
doesn't match where I am, so I got to do
something different. That's huge when it comes to self awareness.
How did you become so self aware?

Speaker 3 (13:45):
It's hard to answer, is I just became uncomfortable. Ooh oh,
just that fit right with me? No more. If you
know how you how exper instance, you go to somebody's
house and it's not the cleanest to your standards, standards
and you just feel uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah, I can stay here,
we can, we can kick it. But I just had

(14:07):
to go home. And I just started to feel like
that in my own situations, in my own relationships, like, yes,
this is what we've been doing since how's been going,
but now it's starting to really bother. And instead of
ignoring that, because if I choose to do something about it,
then so and so I might say this, they might

(14:28):
look at me this way. So let me just say
even though I'm not the most comfortable, let me just say,
just make work to work.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
I just couldn't do that anymore.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
So, so it sounds like you stopped listening to this
belief about other people's perspective or thoughts or judgment about you.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yeah that's huge, man.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Okay, Yeah, I hope you're paying attention, Like listen, I
hope y'all are tuned in, because she's dropping jams, she
dropping knowledge and I love the bridge and that bridge
is who we were who we are, who were coming. Like,
it's just so constant, it's so consistent, and you knew
when you outgrew that older version of yourself and decided

(15:10):
to brace a different version and it's working out. It's
really working for you. So I'm curious, how does this
apply to motherhood, especially like being a mom and you changing,
you growing, and how does this apply, how does it connect.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
It's funny that you bring this up at a time
where it's kind of in the forefront of my mind because, uh,
just to be full of transparent. I struggle, like with
motherhood a lot of times. I struggled when it was
a two parent household. I struggled with this one parent household,
Like motherhood is not for the part if you want
to do it correctly parenthood and if you want to

(15:46):
do it, and not to say that there's more correct way,
but if you're doing it consciously with some intent, you know,
with some actual direction in mind, it can't be challenged.
It is challenged. Yeah, but I've noticed that my children

(16:08):
have taught me, well, my children have put the mer
in front of my face that showed me how impatient
I really was, because I knew I was. I was
an impatient person. I am. I know that, and it's
not okay to continue to be that way, especially when
you have little ones looking up to you, because then

(16:28):
your teaching is to be impatient. It's not working out.
It's not good, it's not healthy. So it's like, I've
noticed how it affects me. Now I'm able to not
flit my lids so quickly, and I think it has
something to do with being able to feel more free
and release and just relaxed. It's allowed me to be

(16:53):
a better mother. I'm more patient with them. And I tried,
you know, I tried to the spanking, yelling why because
those are things that I saw and that was done
to me and you know, other children, So I thought
that was what you're supposed to do, but not knowing
that none of those ways teach you how to regulate

(17:14):
your feelings and your emotions when you're going through something,
and then connecting the dots when somebody makes you mad
at working, you feeling like you're ready to do something
about it, but you can't, so you have to learn
how to regulate your emotions. And then realizing that we well,
what I witness didn't teach us how to do that properly.
So now as a parent, I'm learning just as my

(17:34):
child is learning that, Okay, you're throwing a tantrum. It's
getting me a little bit hot. We both need some space,
not just you, because I'm not just gonna last out
on you. I need a break so I don't last
out on you. You need a break so you don't
last out on me. So we're gonna take some space
and then we're gonna talk through it. Like everything that
has happened this year has allowed me to do that.

(17:55):
It has allowed me to view brotherhood differently, because especially
as a single mone there it can be very it
can feel very negative, like you have to I just
have to take care of the do I just have
to do this, but not enjoying the whole motherhood process
because your children are only their ages at the time
that they are the Asians. And it was like difficult

(18:18):
for me to appreciate that because I was so just
irritable and bothered and stressed, and it just it wasn't
a really good fit. Like I was a good mom,
but I could have been a better mom. And I
know we say that, but I knew for myself they
need a happy mom. Yeah, and I wasn't happy in
a lot of different ways. But one way that I

(18:39):
had to like point the finger at myself was Okay,
I'm very impatient, so let me work on my patience
so I can be more patient with them. And things
just started to flow better when I realized that the
issue is my famous movies.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Parents.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
I hope y'all listening. If you are a parent, I
hope you are listen. Uh, this is huge, and you
bring something up that I have to ask. I'm curious
about because what you're talking about is emotional intelligence. You
have an ability to manage and regulate your emotions to determine,
you know, what do I need to do to make
sure I respond instead of react, Like knowing that for

(19:17):
you personally and then taking that into account as being
a parent, like with your children, Where did you learn
emotional intelligence?

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Like where did this come from?

Speaker 3 (19:29):
I will say, seeing that, seeing what happened? Seeing that? Okay,
a lot of parents that I know well spank and
then ask questions and then explained. And for me, it
didn't work. It just didn't work that way, Like I
never understood it. I never understood it that way. I

(19:51):
felt like because you know when it happened to me, Well,
I don't want to talk to you now. I don't
want to understand now, like now I'm upset at to you.
And I kind of hearing that like all throughout as
I was growing up, Like it's just I don't understand
why people do that. So for me, it was just
like I just never understood why it happened.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
Yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
Trying again, not being not being afraid to go against
what everyone else says about parenting, about my parenting, what
I choose to do, trying different approaches, yeah, and thing
that it works, Yeah, like okay, maybe this is something
we can try. And then also realizing just I don't
know how just understanding how it feels when things don't

(20:34):
have to be so irate, we don't have to be
so loud, we don't have to be so violent, and
how we can talk through issues. And it's like, you know,
the term calm before the storm was like, there's no storm,
it's just all calm. We were able to work through this,
but you know, a couple of ways, but it was
no storm. Everyone everything's fine, And I prefer that. Who

(20:56):
doesn't prefer that? When I when I've seen that okay,
it can happen, and seeing that it can be challenging
at times. I will say, like if you want to
line at the grocery store and you just gotta go,
and you know, but you still understanding that the child,
depending on the age, doesn't really care so much about
where you are. They're just upset in that moment, unable

(21:18):
to handle their emotions. So even though you may be
in the line, and even though there may be a
lot of eyes on you, you still have to control
your own emotions so that you can help your child
manage their emotions. And what stopped me from doing that
a lot of times was like, oh, I don't want
them to think that my child is running over me,
or I don't want to think like I don't have
control over my kid. Yeah, when now those boys don't affect.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
M So a yell or scream to now whisper or
nothing at all sounds like mm.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Hmm yeah, because what does the matter again, that's the fear,
that's the fear of what they might say, what they
might think. The fact is, this is my child. I'm
trying to help my child regulate their feelings, so I
need to regulate mine first. So we could you know,
do this in a way that is healthy for the
two of us.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
That's powerful.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
Yeah, So that's I don't know, I just I just
feel that. And like I said, it is challenging. I'm
not saying it's cake falk. It might take a couple
of times for you to really, you know, do that successfully. Yeah,
but as long as there's an effort, I feel like,
you know, that's how that matters.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah. So we I feel like we're going down this
yellow brick.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Road where where everything that you started the episode with
is we're talking about it in real time, like these
different areas, these different arenas and how you grow and
how you changed to get this excitement of why you're
having the best year ever. So I want to go
into a different direction related to the relationship, like how
did you use these same techniques and mindset to work

(22:52):
through that relationship?

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Mm hmm okay. So so with my his dad, you know,
we had to off again order to gain a relationship
for a long time, many years, just to be transparent
because he was my kid's dad. I felt like, you know,
we were supposed to make this work.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Was that real quick? I hate to stop your flow,
but I want to connect dots. That goes back to
that rule, like you had certain rules about who people
were in your life. Is this okay, yeah, okay, just
make sure we're.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
On the same page. I want to make sure that
all the dots are connected.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yes, because we were supposed to, because we have a child.
At the time, we were still were back for now
we have two still you know, trying to work it out.
And I felt as though we live and we learned. Yeah,
you know, and that's just life in the same sense.
If you're not happy in a staid relationship, you can

(23:53):
either continue to be unhappy or do something about it.
And so that's something that you can even jump back
and forth on, you know. And that's what I did,
and it was difficult, and then you have to fact well,
for me, I was factoring in my children and how
they were feeling, the standard of it's supposed to be
a two parent household and it's supposed to be you know.

(24:15):
So that's what held me a lot. And then when
I started to accept that, you know, I could still
have the dream life of a two parent household and
everything that I want to have, but it just may
not be with this particular person and have learned to
accept that despite what other people may say. Yeah, so

(24:35):
that was the biggest, biggest hurdle for me, and it's
something that still fairly fresh, so it's still a work
in progress. However, I do feel like switching off those
fears and leaning more into the facts, and then also
becoming more intelligently aware and emotionally aware of myself. All

(24:58):
those things empower or made to just sit in my
truth and to know that if this is really my truth,
and then the future will work out in my favor.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
That's just the direction I was going in. So where
be where I will. I would say I felt stuck.
I felt stuck in the relationship, and I didn't want
to feel that way and ship and you know, show
that type of energy around everyone involved. So I made
a decision that other people thought was strange. But it's
not about they think, It's about how I felt.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
That's that theme seems to just repeat itself.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
It does, and it's working for me. It's allowing me
to feel like I'm able to flow through life versus
just you know, surviving, just trying to get by just
you know, another day, Like I don't feel that way anymore.
I used to everything. It's funny when I woke up
in the mornings, I really used to feel like, oh
I do not feel like like every mornings to feel

(25:57):
like that, And I feel like, looking back, I'm like,
it's so unrateful. What do you mean, what's the whole
new opportunity? Like, that's the new meed talk to the
old meeds, because I do remember feeling like that. Whereas now,
of course there's times I'm tired. We're all tired. Yeah,
but I'm ready to see what to day you got

(26:17):
in store.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
I was just going to say that I sound like
a mind you change the mindset. We are so connected
right now. I'm loving all of this. So this mindset shift,
and it's going to take us to the other side
of the yellow big rod. This mindset shift help you
overcome this belief about the house you could have to
the house that you actually have. That you felt as

(26:43):
though you needed to have certain things to get and
now you have that house. Like you you got to
tell us about that mindset shift to get where you are.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, that's something I don't know how many excuse me,
I don't know how many people can relate to men. Okay,
I feel as though I manifested this house since I
was a child, but I didn't know I was doing it.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Real quick to the listener, real quickly. You gotta take
a pause.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Listen.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
You dropping so many gems right now, and I don't
want nobody miss it. Listeners, take a moment. Stop whatever
you're doing. And I mean this, I'm dead serious. Stop
what you're doing, get your scales journal and start writing
what's about to come up. I have no idea what's coming,
but I know it's going to hit somebody in the
head with a honey bun.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Let's get it.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Get them in the head with honey all day. So
I feel like, you know, since I was a child,
it was a particular type of home. I didn't have
a certain area in mind. You know. I focused more
so on the feeling versus like the actual details of it.

(27:54):
So I always just envisioned myself having an updated, like
a new construction. And now for some people that may
be like, a, well, that's nothing. That's fine for you,
But for me, everyone grew up differently, you know, and
it doesn't even matter where you grew up or house
you grew up. You want what you want. So I
just as a child, saw something that seems so big

(28:16):
to me, so far off to me, something that I thought, oh,
only rich quote unquote rich people live over there, or
only you know, people who are married two parent households.
You know, there has to be certain things that are
met before someone can actually get that type of house.
That's the thinking that I had. Yeah, and although I

(28:37):
had that thinking, I still wanted it. And I feel
like I wanted it so bad that it just came
into my orbit and I eventually got because at the
age of seven eight or nine, I wasn't actually saving
up to buy a house, but that desire never left.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
So from seven eight years old, this idea is all
the way to getting the house. What were those those
moments that you knew, Like it's because of this that
might have led to that. You know, like you said,
that desire always been there, whether you knew you could
do it or not, that desire was there. And I'm
sure there was other things along the way that you
may have done to attract this house.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah. Well, like I said, I'm a spiritual person, so
I kind of always would and you could call it
what you want. But when you go and you meditate
on something to me. Prayer and meditation go hand in hand.
You can pray to whoever you want to pray to you.
But I did those things, like when I became old

(29:42):
enough to realize, oh, it's not so challenging to buy
a help a home. I mean it can be. There
are some challenges, but it's like not out of my reach.
So I started to like become interested in purchasing a home,
working part time twenty hours a week, two kids, but

(30:03):
just just going out there and not being afraid. And
this was when the fears started to No, no, the
fear was already loud. I ain't gonna lie to the
fear was loud, but the facts started to become louder.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
O oh, break that down. We need to see.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
We gotta go from how loud they were to how
you quieted them down with the facts.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Please give us, give us.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
That all I knew about homeowner ship seems negative. That's
all I ever knew, like growing up, like I didn't
really know a lot of people who were successful homeowners,
and so I felt like it was out of reach.
But still having that desires for one day on my
own home and on this particular type of home. So
I just never let it go. So I did schedule

(30:47):
a meeting with the realtor just for me. It was
an informational meeting. But during that meeting, because I do
my research, we got to talking and he says, sounds
like you're ready. I was like, you're able to do this.
I was like, oh no, I mean, you know, it's
just me, and you know, I don't really have all
the money and everything. So first of all, trusting a

(31:08):
good realty to lead you through the process. So then
also not being afraid. I lived in my first homes
two years, two years, and it was things worked out
like I didn't. I just one thing after another, just
kind of worked it stuff out, and then it became
that when the fear started to quiet down, the fact

(31:29):
was you live in a home, You're gonna take care
of it, just as if you would take care of
apartments you call someone out. I mean, there's different programs.
There's so many programs that I just didn't think to
look into because I was only renting and I thought
homeownership was so far out there. I didn't know that
there would be the aids for homeowners So just not

(31:49):
being aware, you know, I just didn't even know to
go there. But once I took one step, then I
was able to take the next step. Then I was
able to take the next step. And then the more
steps you take, the more bigger the facts appear. So
the fear has no choice but to quiet down because
you're seeing all these facts like, okay, I can do that.

(32:11):
Oh that that's all I have to do. Oh okay,
I can do okay, And it's just like kept going.
As long as that desire is there, you will be
able to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish.
So after that house, you know, just this other house
became available. It was ups and down. The first it
was in my budget and it was out of my budget,

(32:32):
and then I really just took it to the Lord.
I really just prayed. But several times with myself, my children,
just I really like pour in, like if this ain't
the house that I know, I'm gonna get something better
because the house looked picture perfect to me, just look
picture perfect. But yeah, everything just worked out in my favor.

(32:54):
And I'm not saying like everything always whe one hundred
percent exactly what you want. Obviously, it's whatever his will
is for you. But all in all, I never lost
the desire even when the answer was no. They you know,
this particular house. At first, like I said, it was
in my budget, but they decided to do some updates.
We took it out of my budget. I still didn't

(33:15):
lose hope, I didn't. I didn't let the fear run away. Yeah,
so I think that answers your question. I just feel
like the desire, the desire is what drove me. And then,
like I said, taking that one step and then taking
the next step and just thing because you never know,
so you try so but every step that you take

(33:37):
you learn something.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
So that that sounds like moving away from a very
black and white mindset, you know, win or lose right
and wrong. It seems like you kind of eliminated that
where you're just taking steps and learning from the mistakes
along the way.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, that's a struggle for many of us, like getting
out of that black and white mentality. So you're just
doing multiple mind shifts, you know, like how did you
get to that place where you stop living based off
of how many of us are taught to live where
it's black and white, it's either one way or the other,
and you moved away from that where it sounds like,

(34:19):
instead of win or lose, you started to live by
win or learn, and you just kept learning and growing
and figuring out and still moving towards.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
And what I hear you say is the desire never left,
so you just kept walking.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
So tell us more, like, how did you get this
different mindset to move away from? I feel like the
majority of us have this black and white thinking.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
I just think that's just the fight in you. Like
I just refuse to settle, And there's moments I refuse
to set a long term I should clarify, because obviously
there's moments where we may not feel like we're doing
the best that we can, and there's time where it's
not as easy and we're we're a little more tired
and whatnot. So I say I refuse to settle. I
refuse to give up completely, Like I refuse to throw

(35:04):
in the town completely. You might knock me down, you know,
but gonna get back up. So I don't know. I
just felt like that that fight was just in me,
and I just wanted to keep on to see how
far I can go as long as I'm able.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Why not?

Speaker 3 (35:21):
But I wasn't content you know, like there's moments of content,
being content with what you have, but I still want
it more and I still want more. So I just
feel like once you know how, you just have like
extra weights on you, so it makes makes it harder

(35:41):
for you to pick up speed. Yeah, I feel like
I've been shedding a lot of weight, whether that was
you know, other people's energies or even other people's opinions.
When I say other people's energies, I mean being around
the wrong type of people, the type of people that
just it doesn't be need your spirit. They don't, you know,

(36:01):
bring you joy or happiness. Yeah, I had to cut times.
And then the opinions that was a way, the opinions
of other people, whether it's family or friends, that was
extra weight. I had to let that go. Yeah, I
had to just leave them as that's just how you feel,
that's how you think. We can agree to disagree. So

(36:22):
I can't let you affect my happiness. I can't let
you hold extra weight on me because you you messing
up my momentum.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
And it's like like you said, yes, one thing started
with like the relationship, and then it migrated to other
areas of my life. Other people's opinions, and I've just
been going ever since. Yeah, Yeah, it's easier. It's easier
to do it now once you start, likes easier to
continue on in this direction versus going backwards.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
I love it, love it. So how can someone get started?
Like you got it?

Speaker 2 (36:57):
You got the snowball effect going. How can somebody he's
just start rolling that snowball?

Speaker 3 (37:03):
I know, for me personally, I wrote down what I
was going to have. And I'm not a big person
to like do a whole big vision board every year.
I don't always do that. For me, it's more personal,
so I just write it so I can see it.
So I would write down like I will be a homeowner.
I wrote down like I will have multiple strings of income.

(37:26):
I had no idea how these things were going to happen.
Obviously they weren't happening in that moment, but I wrote
them down because I wanted them to happen. And then
life went on. Sometimes I would lose that sheet of paper,
but I never lost the thought on the idea. So
I write down it like as long as I was
continuing to write it, because I'm gonna make sure I
see it. Yeah, because I already think it. No, I

(37:47):
already feel it, and I just didn't see it. So
I would definitely say that was a huge start point
for me. Or I would say that if you start
point for anyone to just write it down, write down
what you want tell the world. Okay, well you're writing it,
really tell you you putn't it visually, so now it's
available for every other people to see. So write it

(38:07):
down and then start to embrace the feeling of it,
like envision how you will feel once you have such things. Yeah,
I remember starting that way. And it's funny when I
go through my older uh you know, my junk junk
box and things that I saved, and I see like
old notes that I wrote things on, it's like I
was really on it. Yeah that's important.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Yeah that's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
So before you got out of here, we got a
little rapid fire, a few questions I got for you.
Whatever comes up, we'll take it. So I'm curious, We're curious,
the listeners are curious. Over these years, and especially this year,
what would you say you've learned about yourself?

Speaker 3 (38:51):
But I have learned about myself. I learned to love myself.
I learned to treat myself as if I'm treating someone else.
And it's so funny because that's sounds like, like, you know,
some people truly don't enjoy their own company. I learned

(39:18):
to listen. I made myself just a you know, sub
sandwich for lunch, wet side of braccolis and chicks. But
I didn't just throw it all on tables. I got
me a nice looking dinner plate. I cut that sandwich
perfectly in the middle. I fixed my plate like I
would fix my man's plate.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
I'm just saying I learned how to love myself and
just like the thing that I like to do, not
being afraid to wait on someone to take me to
do them like, I just began to do that, and
so I just started to As you, as you do
more things with a person, you usually kind of like
them a little more, or you learn more about them.
It's just the same with yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Mm hm.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
So I really have learned to love myself so much,
and I think I'm hilarious. So I'll just be cracking
up by myself.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
I'll take it. Come on, three parallels, okay, right yourself?
What have you learned about other people.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
M other people. I've learned to take people for who
they are instead of who I expect them to be.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
Time out, Wait a minute, listeners, Listeners, get your Gator
scale journal out immediately and write down these bars, these nuggets.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
This, honey bun, could you repeat that if you don't mind.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Of course I don't learn. I've learned to accept people
for who they are instead of who I expect them
to be. Whether that be family, I'm gonna say it
all the time, whether that be family, bring co workers,
people in your church, any it don't matter. Yeah, it

(41:05):
don't matter. So just because they you know, just because
they are your your supervisor, They're still a person at
the end of the day. So accept them for the
things that they say, the things that they do. Just
take it at that. Not well, you're my supervisor, so
you should. So you're a person. It's like I'm a person.

(41:28):
You're talking crazy here. You probably talk crazy outside of
work as well.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
So you're saying it's a it's a flawed human being
who happens to be your supervisor, your sister, your father,
your mother, who happens to.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Be that's big. That's big.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Oh man, This is so good. It's so good, all right?
Who is or was your hero or what? Even your heroes?

Speaker 3 (41:56):
You know, that's you know, I can't never just give
a regular answer.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
I'm okay with irregular answers.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
It's always so for me. And I remember being asked
this as a child too, because especially you know what
he is easier. Who's your hero? I always said myself,
that's what I'm talking about, And I still feel that way,
like there's no one that I want to there's no
one that I'd rather not disappoint the most other than myself.

(42:29):
I let somebody else down, Tay, they get over it,
you know, blah blah blah, they may remember it, may
not move on. I'm never gonna forget. Yeah. Yeah, So
I am my biggest hero because I really like when
you learn how to talk to yourself a third person,
it's like easier to treat yourself nice.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Oh can you give us an example.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
For example for me personally, Like when I apply for
that job position and found out I didn't get it,
beat myself up about it. You should have did this,
you should have did that. No, because why if someone
came to you still apply for a job. But I
didn't get it, is that what you're gonna say to
them you should have did this? Should you shouldn't say that,

(43:13):
you shouldn't If you do, please stop. So I just
started to talk to myself in that same way.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
That's powerful. Yeah, that is so powerful. All right? I
love it. I love that answer.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
You your own hero, and you keep getting better or
she ro we'll call you.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Just keep getting better? All right?

Speaker 2 (43:36):
So what's a word, phrase, memory, or moment that has
stuck with you personally or professionally that you want to
share with the listeners?

Speaker 3 (43:46):
Now I'm kind of embarrassed to say it because I
don't remember the person's name, so I can't give proper credit.
But someone once told.

Speaker 5 (43:54):
Me, we'll take someone okay, never use So what else
is measuring stick to measure your own life?

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Yeah? And when I first heard it, I didn't really understand.
I didn't really understand what that specifically meant. But in
a nutshell like, don't compare yourself to someone else? Yeah,
I mean, if you just want to break it down
like that, don't compare your life to anyone else, don't
compare your race to anyone else, like it's that's how

(44:25):
you get that That's how that fear starts to come
louder than the facts, because if you just focusing on yourself,
you know the facts, you know what the facts are.
You're good at you're good at fixing cars. You know
you can't be a mechanic, that's a fact. Your fear
will be you comparing yourself to I don't know somebody
who worked at Tesla and they know how to put

(44:46):
the whole thing together. You're you're not supposed to be
looking over there, right, You useing somebody else's measuring stick.
That's not so. Yes, just don't compare yourself. Compare yourself
to yourself if you want to do three parallels.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Oh today, that's why this show just just just keeps
getting better.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
So two more questions, let me get you out of here.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Uh an interesting fact about yourself that you want to
give to the listeners.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Interesting fact? Well, I'm a Missy Elliott fan. I used
to feel like I could rap like her.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Love it.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
No, I will not spit no bars at this time.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
Understood used to.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
But it's still a part of me. To any Miss
Elliot song on there, I'm gonna know what works for work.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Okay, So to the listeners just know. This is why
there are several Missy Elliott songs on the Three Parallels
podcast playlist.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
This is why.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Okay, this is the person that's responsible for all this
Missy on the playlist.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
Want to Yes, that's what I'm talking about. Leo, friends,
that's good. Leave my fragrance on the part. I'm done. Listen.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
This is the last question because I'm gonna have to
have you back. I'm gonna have to last question is
life work. So for all of you, to the listeners
and even my new listeners, life work is like homework,
but very different. Homework, you do it, you take it home,
you never remember it again once you turn it in.
Life work, you take it home, you do it. Your
life change, and at any time you choose to do

(46:29):
something different, your life will change. So Aaron, for the listeners,
I would love for you to give them life work.
So if you could offer a keepsake or a word
to word of wisdom or whatever you want to share
it to the audience that they can keep for themselves
that may have helped you, or something that you just
want to help them.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
I keep every day, just say for the next start small,
for the next week, every day, write down three things
that you're grateful for. Just see what happens. You'll have
to share, you don't have to share, but just see
if that make any difference in a week.

Speaker 4 (47:10):
Oh bars, honey, bund.

Speaker 3 (47:16):
Normal conversations around here, we go deep.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
That's what I'm talking about. Higher thoughts, Yes, indeed, higher thoughts.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Thank you so much. I love you, I appreciate you.
I'm glad you made your appearance on the podcast. Yes,
I will have you back because we got some more
work to do. We got some more work to do.
I really appreciate you, you know. Big shout out to women,
Big shout out to mothers, Big shout out to single mothers.
Big shout out to mothers who left their unhealthy relationship

(47:42):
or outgrow people, places and things and did exactly what
you're doing. And those who are about to do it
because of this podcast, and those who are still waiting
for something to make that move.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
This might be that something.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
So thank you all to the listeners for tuning in,
for dialing in. Thank you Aaron for being a phenomenal guest.
And I do believe in giving people.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Their flowers while they can smell them.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
And I appreciate you for being the woman that you are,
the mother that you are, and being a phenomenal human being.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
It's rare, in my humble.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Opinion and my work and the help and profession, it's
rare to find great human beings because human beings experienced
human things that's prevented us from being our best self
and authentic self. What you shared was your authentic self,
which a lot of people haven't been able to reach

(48:36):
that pinnacle of because of exactly what you share their
beliefs and ideas about what other people think about them.
Thank you for being you and changing and shaping and
directly and indirectly impacting all the listeners that's paying attention.
I appreciate you, value you, and for those who want

(48:58):
to get in contact with you, for those mothers who
like a girl I need help for what, in the
case may be, how can people get in contact with you?

Speaker 1 (49:06):
How can people connect with you?

Speaker 3 (49:08):
Well, yes, Facebook could probably be the easiest way. So
Aaron W two in r I N N audio in
that's me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
I'll take it. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
This has been another phenomenal episode of the Three Parallels
podcasts working towards who we were, moving out the way
of who we were, accepting and embracing who we are
and making room for our better self. You get to
decide every single day who am I going to be today.
I will challenge you to go to your journal, find

(49:42):
out those nuggets, those things that popped up today, and
actually do them. Aaron, charge you with some life work
so you don't need nothing from me.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
Good Night, God bless