Celebrating Pride Month: 10 Toes Down

Description: Dr. Branch takes listeners on a personal and powerful journey through the 3 Parallels: Who he was, who he is, and who he is becoming. In this podcast, Dr. Branch opens up about his own story. how past beliefs around toxic masculinity shaped the way he saw himself, others, and the world around him.He shares how his views were formed by what he was taught and told about manhood, and how those ideas began to shift through education, exposure to diverse lived experiences, and a deep commitment to self-discovery. With honesty and vulnerability, Dr. Branch reflects on how he challenged his own biases, including those related to the LGBTQ+ community, and how those shifts opened the door for growth, empathy, and transformation.This podcast isn’t just about Dr. Branch, it’s about all of us. Each episode invites listeners to explore their own parallels, ask deeper questions, and find meaning in the process of becoming.

🎯 3 Listener Challenges:

1. Reflect on You
Take a few minutes to ask yourself:

• Who was I?
• Who am I now?
• Who am I becoming?

2. Question a Belief
Pick one belief you were taught about being a man, being strong, or how people should act. Ask:

• Where did this come from?
• Does it still feel true?
• Is it helping or hurting me?

3. Listen to a Different Story
Find and listen to someone’s story that’s different from your own. It could be a podcast, video, or conversation.
Then ask yourself:

• What did I learn?
• What challenged me?

This episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor:
J Branch & Associates: Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by going to www.drjbranch.com; call or text [phone] 

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Gator Talk: Every Friday via Zoom at 9am PST/12pm EST 
Join the conversation every Friday starting today on The 3 Parallels Podcast Post Show Q&A Session called Gator Talk.

When: Every Friday Where: Battlecat Studios (Zoom) 
Zoom Link: https://alliant.zoom.us/j/4044362540
Meeting ID:404-436-2540
Time: 9:00am PST/ 12:00pm EST

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to the Three p Lels podcast, which your
host d Doctor Jason Branch what we rediscover who we were,
we embrace who we are, and we make room for
who we're trying to become. If that's you, you're in
the right place. You tapped into the right show. There
are no coincidences. You are exactly where you need to be.
And this month, the month of June, is Men's Mental
Health Month as well as Pride Month. So shout out

(00:25):
to the men, shout out to mental health, shout out
to Pride, shout out to the LGBTQ plus community, Shout
out to you all listening to me right now, not
right now, but red now, because you could have been
anywhere in the world at any point in time, and
you chose to be here with me, and that means
the world to me, and I thank you for that.

(00:46):
So with that, since you are paying for your time
and attention, because that's what the investment is, let me
make sure you get a return on your investment. So
if we're going to dive in real quick, real fast,
because I ain't got all doing because last time I check,
it don't take all day to do nothing in this world.
Nothing is now nath Daniel, Nathan nath than it's a

(01:07):
guy named Nathaniel. Yep, that's Nathan nothing. And I got
that terminology because we're building our own terminology part of
this community. From a destination helper, I was able to
connect with a new destination helper who goes by the
name I'm sorry, who I've adopted the name of Ace.
So Ace told me that when you say nothing, that

(01:30):
means Nathan Nathan equates to Nathaniel Nathaniel is absolutely nothing.
So boom, you already got your money back, You already
got your time back. You got a new term that
you can use at any point in time. That people
are part of this community. They know it, they know
the language, they speak the language, and that's what makes
us a community. That's what makes a culture. Speaking of culture,

(01:51):
I want to talk about mine. Growing up in the
Midwest Ohio and then spending some time in the South Obama,
I was I grew up with this mindset of what masculinity,
masculinity is and what it isn't, what masculinity means and
when it doesn't. In this mindset that I was taught

(02:12):
and that is perpetuated throughout our society, culture, you name it.
It was this idea of what it means to be
a man and what it doesn't And I held on
to this belief for a long time, just like many
of us hold on to beliefs for so long that
they become facts even when they're not. So I want
to talk about my experience other three parallels. Who I was,

(02:34):
who I am, who I'm becoming related to the LGBTQ
plus community. So buckle up, butter Cup, we're finish. Go
somewhere in the past and in the past. I'm going
to connect the dots from the past, the president in
the future, because who I am now knows that whatever
thing that we believe or we think about is an idea.

(02:55):
The meaning we give it is what we decide, and
that meaning changes when we decide. Ooh, we listen, get
your journals. Okay, every episode I'm gonna tell you, get
your journal, get something right with because I'm dropping gems.
I'm finna hit you in the head with a honeybun
and that need you to be prepared. If you don't
have a journal, guess what I got you. Go on Amazon,

(03:16):
look up the Gator Scales Journal, the Gator Scales journal
is available for you. I made it for you and
for me and it's good too, So dive into the
journal to dive into you. So talk about the past masculinity. Now,
I want to talk about the current, the current discovery.
Like for me and all these years of life, forty
plus years of life, I've learned a lot of different things.

(03:37):
I've connected with a lot of different people, and my
beliefs and perspectives have changed over the years. One of
those perspectives is one of the biggest perspectives to me
is my belief around masculinity. And I want to talk
about it based off of beliefs and facts. So this
episode talks about masculinity, beliefs and facts and the LGBTQ
plus community want to put it all together in real time.

(03:59):
And I'm like Jay today one take, I didn't prep
I'm just talking, okay, So I don't know what's gonna happen,
but whatever happens is supposed to happen. This is organic.
Put a book, dull sticker or to kid to keep it,
but not in a stick on my fue head because
it's really organic. So what I learned about masculinity or
femininity or anything that you can think of. That's a

(04:20):
part of the culture that you were taught and told.
If you asks one hundred people, let's be specific. If
I asked one hundred men, what does it mean to
be a man? I would get a hundred different definitions.
I just want to talk about facts. If I asks
one hundred different women what does it mean to be
a woman, I would get one hundred different beliefs, perspectives.

(04:41):
Those are facts, right, So the reality is what it
means to be a man, what it means to be
a woman is subjective, and that means it's up to you.
What I also know is all of us is on
a spectrum. Now talking about a different spectrum. I ain't
talking about the one I just discovered I was on yesterday.
I'm talking aboutect victims of life. Think about it. Anything

(05:03):
that you do, any aspect about you, it's a spectrum.
So if we're looking at masculinity, some people are more
masculine than others, some people are more feminine than others.
It's a scale, it's a spectrum. Bail curve. We ain't
got to go to class, but think about the bail curve. Right,
That's how everything makes sense. So it's not one way

(05:23):
or the other. It's not black and white. It's a
lot of gray, and it's okay in the gray. And
I want to challenge you to be okay in the
gray because I wasn't. I was very black and white
about LGBTQ plus meaning homosexuality, heterosexual growing up assist gender
heterosexual male. I had an identity related to what it

(05:45):
means to be a man on what it doesn't, which
was a belief that I was entitled to. But that
entitlement made me feel entitled to exclude people that I
didn't feel met the criteria of what it means to
be a man. Not only excluding, I would be mindful
of what I do, say what I wear to prevent

(06:05):
anyone from perceiving that I might be gay. True story.
Just want to talk about it. I'm not by myself,
but I'm sharing my story because this is who I was.
So I was very homophobic for years. Why because of
my ignorance, and many of us are ignorant, and ignorance
is the lack of knowledge. I'm not disrespecting you, it's

(06:25):
a lack of knowledge, and all of us have a
lack of knowledge around something that we don't know nothing about,
especially if we're not living it, we're not a part
of it or connected to someone who lives within that
culture community. So that was me for many years. And
I remember specifically in college being a proud member of

(06:46):
the first black greek letter fraternity, I filed Fraternity Corporated
shout out to the Bruhs, Hey fight, being a member
of this there were being a member of a fraternity,
the sorority. There are stereotypes of each one. Okay, depends
on what campus, depends on where you're at, is on
the era of the whole nine. But it's just a stereotype.
It's just a belief. It's just a generalization that's made
by people that's a part of these organizations. Just want

(07:09):
to talk about discrepancy, Okay, inconsistency, and congruence. So, as
a culture of black folks marginalized community, we can sometimes
marginalize our own people by excluding people based off of
who they are, who are perceived to be, or who
they need to be. I was a part of that
regime as a proud member of the fraternity where I

(07:30):
felt as well, I was a gatekeeper to keep gay
people out. Many people were like that and are like
that to this day because of the belief that I can.
You ain't finna stop a gay person from being anywhere.
I just want to talk about facts. Gay folks are everywhere.
LGBTQ plus community is everywhere, whether you know it or not.

(07:51):
Their fathers, their husbands, their wives, there's partners, there's so many.
There's CEOs, there's engineers, and professors and doctors and others.
You name a person, you name a job, you name
a professor, you name anything, and you can find somebody
but part of LGBTQ community kicking ass and whatever lane

(08:13):
that is. But the belief is we can keep people out,
just like what's going on in our society in real
life right now, Ice and what's going on in LA
right now, same deal. The issue that we have is
ignorance related to differences. Ooh, I didn't come here to preach.
I came here to teach differences related to people and

(08:34):
who we are, what we choose to do, how we
choose to live whatever. There's exclusion, there's chastisement. There's all
the isms, sexism, racism, you name it, and we all
have aspects of that throughout our lives. Based off of
what we were talking told. If it's not with LGBTQ,

(08:54):
it may be related to drugs alcohol. Although you're at
the line of Starbucks every morning. Facts, but you feel
some kind of way about folks at the dispensary. Facts,
you feel even worse for the folks at the crackhouse. Facts.
It's all the same. It's differences. We all have our thing.
We all if you think a look at drugs, alcohol,
it's a coping mechanism. It's used for something that humans need.

(09:17):
I don't want to cope. I want to feel good.
I want to feel better. I don't want to feel
whatever it is, I'm going to my substance. So it's
a human thing that we make into a divisive thing.
That's why we're in the situation that we are right now,
the protests going on. It's belief, what people believe and perceive,

(09:37):
and you have polarizing views. So being in this fraternity,
I had the same polarizing views because for a lot
of people in fraternities, and especially fraternities, it was this
hyper awareness or hypersensitivity to masculinity and this you know,
mocheese mo just proving how manly you are, and the

(10:00):
reality is it's a spectrum, and who's to say who's
manly enough and who's not. You are every individual person,
and if you got enough individuals, it becomes a collective
of group, a culture. That's what a culture is. People
who have similar beliefs and ideas. That's all together and
we all in holy matrimony. Welcome to the club, baby.

(10:21):
We are part of a culture being in this family. However,
sometimes we outgrow people, places, and things, which means I
outgrow certain cultures, and for me, I had to outgrow
the culture. Belief about LGBTQ plus community. Now, it was
a contradiction which many men have, a contradiction related to
gay men can't be gay, but women can. It's cool contradiction.

(10:45):
It's a belief. How come women It's okay for women
because you're thinking sexually, but it's not okay for men
because you don't want to think sexually. I just want
to talk about it, and I can talk about it
because that's who I was at one point in time.
So I felt I was the gay keeper. Let's keep
gay people out. I thought I was doing a great job.
I was doing horrible because you can't keep nobody out

(11:07):
of nothing that they supposed to be in. I don't
care who you are, where you are, just wanna talk
about facts. So this belief that I had of who's
masculine enough and who's not, I carried into the fraternity,
and a lot of people that I perceived to be
less than as far as masculinity didn't get in on
my watch. So I heard a lot of people I displaced,

(11:30):
a lot of people I made. I had power and leverage,
and I took advantage of that and heard a lot
of people along the way because of my beliefs. I'm
no different from anybody else. The difference for me is
we're talking about fraternity. For others, it could be a job.
It can be a house. It could be money. It

(11:52):
could be alone. It could be a career. It could
be a degree, it could be a relationship, it could
be a multitude of things where people are not given
what they deserve because of how they're perceived. And if
you know human beings, we all have a hard time
not being accepted for who we are, which is why

(12:13):
many of us wear the mask. Some of us still
wear it now wear it. Well, take that mask off
at the crib, and that's for protection. That's for safety,
and that's okay. And to me, I think sometimes we
need to hold ourselves accountable more than what we think
or perceived about other people. Let me check me. So

(12:33):
I had an opportunity to start checking me related to
the LGBTQ plus community, and I'm specifically talking about men
like gay, black gay men. It was an issue for
me because of my issue. I didn't even know it's
my issue. I struggled with it because of when I
was around everybody named Mama, especially men, was telling me
what it means to be a man when what it doesn't.

(12:54):
So here's an example. And I want to tell you
how ridiculous this is now, but at the time it
was law. So for me and for many men, you
would never wear anything that's perceived to be feminine. So
I didn't wear a pink shirt until I was in
my thirties. Yep, I didn't wear no throng sandals. I

(13:16):
ain't painting on nails like that's it's common now, you
know what I'm saying, Especially like a lot of guys
in the in the league or that played college ball,
like they started doing it, and that highlighted it. And
there was a lot of backlash. The backlash was because
of the beliefs. That's it, Like, how come this person
can't paint their nails, it's a belief. How come this

(13:37):
person can't wear pink or red or different colors because
we use colors to identify people from race all the
way to what polish you have on, what colors your shirt?
What's appropriate ones not dark colors versus light colors. I
just want to talk about it. So for black masculine men,

(13:57):
the perception is everything I inded to, every thing that
I do has to represent this idea of who I
am as a man. And that's a belief and you're
entitled to it. I like to simplify the beliefs. Okay,
two plus two's five equals a belief. Two plus four
two plus two equals four. It is a fact. What's
the difference between these two equations? One can be proven,

(14:19):
one cannot. And many of us believe something so long
that it becomes a fact to us even if it's not.
And anytime your beliefs are challenged, the first thing you
do is put your duke's up to protect what you believe.
Think about religion, there's no way you're gonna change your
religion or shift your religion without a fight. It's not
going to happen until you become exposed to different types

(14:43):
of religion or no religion at all. You change. Think
about your cousin Pookie that got locked up as a Christian.
When he came out he was a Muslim. Exposure that
was a change. Okay, may not have been poking, may
have been John. You know, John got locked up, came
out different in many different ways. So I share all

(15:05):
this because I'm not alone and many men deal with
the same thing. And it wasn't until I started to
attract people, places, and things based off of the being
that I was becoming. And the person I was becoming
was more open minded to different types of people because
of the counseling profession. So when I graduated college, I
was immediately thrown into the help and profession. And that's

(15:26):
when I recognized, Oh, man, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you know,
being gay is not what I thought it was. Maybe
you know my mask of masculinity. Ooh, that's a bar
my mask of masculinity. Maybe it's an invisible cloak. And

(15:47):
that's what it was for all of us to believe
that you protect the base off you who are, But
any point in time you can be exiled for being
exactly who you are. Depends on the environment, depends on
who you're dealing with, and that's people. So for some people,
it's part of the LGBTQ plus community never have a
chance to be seeing her value respected or understood. Why

(16:08):
because I can't be authentically me in this environment. Why
because people around me won't allow it. Jokes, ridicule, shade, judgment, whatever,
although we all have it. So on my journey of
moving away from this belief that hurt a lot of
people and hurt myself because it's exclusion, I was on

(16:31):
a mission to understand sexuality, gender, culture, race, religion, all
these things that provide polarizing views of what is and
what ain't. Think about what happened with you know, we
we're looking at bathrooms, sharing bathrooms, unisex bathrooms. It was

(16:52):
a whole uproar about a bathroom where you go to
relieve yourself. People ain't trying to spend a lot of
time in there outside of women powering you knows, basically
talking ish who's trying to spend a lot of time
in the bathroom By yourself or with folks, because anybody
can walk up in there and clear the room. Who's

(17:14):
trying to be in there not me? And we're worried
about bathrooms, We're worried about who's playing sports and who's not.
I just want to talk about it, transgender community, that
you can't do this. You can't do it, says who.
There are no rules besides the ones we create, and
we create a lot of them. That's the difference between
the beach and the sandbox. Beach is this world the sandbox?

(17:35):
Are the rules, the laws, the ethics, the beliefs that
we put around it to fox people in And that's
not fair than them or us. So I was talking
about my journey, so my beliefs related to masculinity. I
started to challenge in question. And when I challenged and question,
I could not find facts. Going back to the example
I shared it before, related to if you asks one

(17:57):
hundred people what it means to be this or that,
you would get a hundred different definitions, which means that's
two plus two equals five. That's what it is. So
the reason I was able to start challenging and questioning things,
I had a lot of clients that came to me
who were gay, who was interested in coming out or
finally broke their truth to me. They shared with me

(18:21):
their their truth, and it shifted my perspective because my
belief was being gay was a choice. Choose to be gay,
be gay, and he's how you want to. I truly
believe that when I was young, you can be gay.
We can be gay and turn on turn off. I'm
gay today, not tomorrow. It's a lie. People aren't just

(18:41):
out here gaying it up, like choosing to deal with
the shit you gotta deal with from being part of
the LGBTQ plus community. Anybody's signing up for that, But
I didn't know because I was just as ignorant as
so many of us are related to differences. So the
more I start connecting with people and clients and friends
and family, I'm inundated with the LGBTQ community, which gave

(19:05):
me a different perspective to look at because a lot
of the people that I talked to shared their lived
experience and their story, and it was traumatic because of
people like me that they were talking about. I'm talking
about the behavior because my behavior was no different than
some of the people. That's hurt them, which let me
know how many people I heard, which that's me know

(19:28):
how many of us that's listening right now is hurting
and hurting others because of our beliefs. So I became
interested in learning more and I start researching, I start listening,
I start diving in because that helps me become better
as a therapist. So how can I still hold on
to these homophobic beliefs with clients sharing truth with me

(19:51):
that does not align with what I thought? And one
of the biggest things that got me was this idea
what a gay person, okay male looks like. And the
clients that I work with broke those beliefs down, from
professional athletes to c suite executives, you know, celebrities, athletes, entertainers,

(20:18):
plenty of people that let me look at things in
it from a different leans because they felt comfortable and
trusted me enough to share themselves with me, non judgment,
non biased. It's because my job not recognizing what my
own demons. I was dealing with my own beliefs from
my childhood and up bringing. So all the people that
I've ever came in counter with part of the LGBTQ

(20:40):
plus community educated me of what it means to be human.
And then when I started humanizing, that's what changed things
for me. So I had to stretch and allow myself
to stretch. And one of the biggest ways that I
stretched was to buy a pink shirt. I kid you not,
I didn't even start with shirt. I actually started with

(21:01):
a tie. It was a pink and gray striped tie.
And as you all know, I've been doing this every
day and I will continue to do this for over
the past decade. Every single day I do something new,
different than uncomfortable, no matter what it is, to try
to stretch, try to grow, because once the mind expands,
it never goes back to its original form. So I
was intentional. I'm gonna ware this tie and see what happened.

(21:22):
So I get to buy the tie. I like it now.
I like pink for a long time, pink and gray
like a light gray. Loved it for a long time,
but preventing myself from wearing it because of my beliefs.
I don't want nobody perceived me to be gay, Like
that's a stamp of the end of the life. If
anything is a step of approval, let's go, let's go.

(21:43):
So this belief that I have prevented me from living
life authentically. And I slowly just started to get out
the way by testing things to shift my beliefs in
my perspectives, and it worked, and before you know it,
I just started attracting more and more people that's a
part of the LGBTQ plus community to make up for those

(22:06):
I may have displaced or dismissed or gate keep from
the fraternity and beyond, because last time I checked, there
is gay people in every fraternity and sorority. Just want
to talk about facts. You ain't keeping them, You ain't
keeping them out, period. I don't care who you are.
You may not know it, some of you do, but

(22:29):
there's so much control that we have. But how dare
I exil anybody when I'm trying to have us see
at any table that I'm supposed to be where I'm
supposed to eat. So pushing started with a tide. Then
I moved to the shirt right, and I'm wearing these
different things that I never wore to and I'm feeling
some kind of way, And then I'm looking out to

(22:51):
see how people perceive me, not recognizing nobody gave a
damn nobody care what I wore, nobody comment and say,
oh man, you might be good. Even if they did,
does it matter facts some beliefs. So what I want
to to share I've never shared before. I shared on
another podcast recently, but I want to talk about it

(23:11):
because I stretched beyond my comfort zone and decided, usually
I'll go get I call it hand detailed foot detail.
Whenever I get my hands done, nails done, I call
it hand detailed foot detail because that was more masculine
than pedicure manicure. That was the old me, current me,
I get a pedicure of medicure, panic, pedicure manicure. I

(23:32):
don't give what you think about me or the name,
because I'm not. I'm not worried about my sexuality, my identity,
my masculine and what people think about me anymore. That's
me now, Capital HI M, you now capital h R,
you now capital T H E L. So if that's

(23:55):
who I am now, I stop caring. And I stretched
myself when I went to get a pedicure manicure, I
stretched myself and I decided, how can I push myself
to be really uncomfortable right now? Number one, I usually
don't get manicures and pedicures. If I do it's once airment,
once twice a year. But I decided to take care
of me and I went twenty twenty five and I

(24:18):
go in there knowing I'm gonna do something wild because
I want to continue to stretch and push. Now, this
was the second time I actually did this in my
life within a year apart when we're talking about recent
So I get in a chair and uh, it's one
of those you know, nail spots with I can't even

(24:38):
I don't even know the culture. I'm not even gonna
butcher it. But it was like family owned. So they
were there, they brought me in. It's all women and
me and I don't care. And it was like, you know,
do you want polish, do you want pay? Do you
want buff? I said, give me all of it and
give me those color panels. Let's see if I can
pick a color. Now, before I picked the color, I

(24:59):
just want to tell you about my change, my transition
befo white. And picked the color. I went and looked
online to see what what athletes, what celebrity, what manly
men got their hands or ordinailles painted. I just want
to tell the truth. To find out am I validated
for this decision that I'm about to make. And one
of the people that I saw was Shaq. Shaq got

(25:21):
the worst feet in the world in my humble opinion. Now,
my feet aren't the best. They nice, they ain't the best,
but shack feet, my goodness. But Shaq don't care what
you think about him or his feet or what color
his toes are, because they may be colored before you
even put paint on them. Anyway, that even my point

(25:41):
top my shack feet. Money Loan likes shack feet anyway.
That's my ADHD coming out. Just found out about that
yesterday because some of y'all be doing the same thing.
Be in the middle of the heavy intense conversation, jump
off to a damnseng money Loan like shack anyway, shout

(26:02):
out the Gucci man. So I'm in the parlor and
I said, yeah, I'm gonna try color, and it was
like hm hmm. I said, yeah, let's do it. So
I look at different color and I like purple purpose
my color. Purple has always been my color for a
long time. And I saw Exotic Journey, no, no, no,

(26:25):
Mystic Journey. That was the name of the nail color
nail polish. Mystic Journey was kind of a pursal purple.
I said, let me get that. She said you sure,
I said, yes, double down on it. Paint all ten
of these toes. They got ten of them, paint them up.
Let's go, let's see what happens. And I stretched and
then painted my toenails bright red, right purple. Whatever they were,

(26:46):
Mystic Journey, that's what they were called. Number sixty nine,
sixty five one of them. In case you want to
get George done. This is for the man specifically, especially
ones who dealing with homophobia. This for you, Okay, go
get your nails done, because the belief is by me
painting my nails, that equates to me being gay. That's
the dumbest shit I ever heard of my life. But

(27:06):
I believed it, just like everybody else, Just like every
man that you know that he ain't even doing polished.
He ain't even got a pedicure yet, feed out here
looking like eagles claws, right, But why wouldn't a man
go get a pedicure to manicure because of the belief
around masculinity, we don't do that. The reality is we

(27:29):
can do that, and we do do that. You just don't,
and that's your problem. Nobody else is because your feet
look bad. Mine nice, they soft, they purple, and I
ain't turn gay yet. Now. When I first did it
last year, I paided my toes was the most uncomfortable
thing ever, and I doubled down on it. Not on

(27:50):
the paint of my toes. I'm walking out here with
the own sandals on and walking into the mall and
grocery shore just to see who gonna say something. Who
I'm fin a bust upside the head for saying some
wild shit to me. That was my I came in
with the boxing gloves on. Who gonna say something? And
when I did it last year, guess who said something? Nobody.
There's people that smiled, the people that look, but nobody

(28:12):
said a word. Nobody gave us shit. So I did
it again this year, and I doubled down went further.
I'm gonna go to my gym. You know what I'm saying.
I'm gonna go around the most masculine men and rock
these toes and see what happens. And guess what happened. Nothing?
Somebody said that they nobody bad that eye, nobody broke

(28:34):
a sweat and you know, day two, Day three, I'm
looking around. Am I gay yet? Because the belief is
I'm gonna be gay If I'm payting my toes, you
gotta be gay. Nope, didn't turn gay. I've been at
it about two weeks now. Still ain't turn gay, Still heterosexual,
still married, female, wife, partner, two boys, and nothing changed,

(29:00):
Nothing changed, And I step out by comfort zone. I
do uncomfortable things to stretch my mind to become a
better version of me. And I'm better now than I've
ever been, especially when it comes to understanding the differences
of people humans, because we're all different in some capacity.
But imagine being judged, ridiculed, shamed, killed, abused for just

(29:22):
being different based off of something you have no control over.
But if my belief is you get to choose to
be gay, then you choosing that life versus I was
born this way. I've loved men or women or people
are all types of people my whole life. I just
didn't know it, And because of the way our society
set up, I wasn't given permission to do so. But

(29:44):
I may have had a support a parent that was
all for it, or I may have had a horrible
parent that kicked me out. I'm still trying to find family.
I'm still trying to find community. Now, why do you
think Pride Month is so great? Because people have a
chance to take the mask, golf and connect to community, allies, advocates,
ride or dies. That's why these months are so important

(30:09):
when it comes to service, providing connection, building community. So
I share this story to give you permission to step outside,
to comfort someone become a better version of you. And
now my case, LOPE more often than not is inundated
with more clients as part of LGBTQ community or those
who ain't came out yet to embrace it than not.

(30:31):
And it just happened organically because of my interest in
getting better at becoming the best version of me possible.
Him him toes out here read as all get out
and don't care it ain't turn gay yet. And guess what,
I can empathize more because as a black man in
these United States, people look at me a certain way.

(30:51):
Don't matter what I wear, it's the color of my skin.
It's who I am and what I look like and
how people perceive me. So no, no matter what I'm already
being judged, let me go and throw some paint on
these toes, so you can judge me a little bit more.
But the reality is your judgment is just an opinion,
a perspective. But I'm changing generational curses by doing what

(31:13):
I'm doing. Because my boys, they see their mom feet painted,
nail's painting. Hey, I want to do that too, And
guess what's my reaction or response? All right, cool, let's
do it. That's meaning all of us, all three of us,
three men, paint are toes, and nobody better than I.
And it was nothing. So for these boys, my two sons,

(31:37):
they're going to grow up very differently than I did
of what you can and cannot do when it comes
to masculinity. Because they painted their tail, they told they
didn't turn gay. I didn't turn gay. They didn't look
at that that differently. I didn't look at them differently.
And now that's changing the dynamics of what they perceive
when it comes to differences. We can do whatever we

(31:58):
choose to. It's the rules that we created for ourselves
or for others that prevents us from being human, prevents
us from being authentic, prevents them from being human beings
doing human things. So I challenge you step outside the
comfort zone. Fellas, take it to the next level. Go

(32:18):
get your toes painted. And if you like hell and
I ain't doing that shit, Never ask yourself why you
ain't gonna go get them painted. Go get your toes done,
Go get them dogs done. Your girl been asking you
for years? Why are you scratching me? Bro? There's the
reason she's been keeping some distance. It's them dogs. They're
the worst. I believe men feet are the worse in

(32:41):
life hashtag shack. So why wouldn't you take care of them?
And the reason men don't take care of their feet
is because of their belief. I'm a man, I'm my
feet supposed to be ashy, my ass and my feet
supposed to be askedy. It's a belief and it's horrible
in my humble opinion. There's things that we choose to do,
we will choose not to do because how we want

(33:02):
to be perceived or don't want to be perceived. It's
all a belief and to me, it's a lie. I
share this in hopes that you push yourself outside your
comfort zone to become a better version of you, to
outgrow who you once were, to embrace who you are,
to make room for who you're trying to become, and
I am him and I know it because I'm willing

(33:23):
to do things that I've never done before to become
a version of me that did not exist before today.
I share my story with confidence, with authenticity, with no fear, shame, shade,
or judgment, because I don't care what people think about
me anymore. I had to become this version of me.
Many of us grown as shit still are plagued by

(33:46):
other people's opinion, perspective, and belief. Especially our parents just
want to talk about it, whether they hear or not.
Some of us refuse to be who we truly are
until the people that means the most to us die.
Then will be our authentic self. My challenge to you is,
don't wait till somebody else leaves, become you now, by

(34:08):
digging into you, figuring out who you are and who
you are not, and living life authentically based on your
own terms, within reason, within safety. Now, everybody ain't doctor branch.
Everybody is not part of this community, all right, don't
be out in these streets wild'n out. Hey, y'all, I'm gay.
Don't do that. Don't do that, Okay, everybody's not okay

(34:28):
with it, and that's okay. Find the people who are
lean into them. Protect yourself, stay safe in the streets.
Everybody's not okay with who we are and our identity.
But those who are lean in, those who can connect
to this experience, lean in, dive in, do things you've
never done before, because you can change an entire culture,

(34:51):
you can change the community, you can change the generation.
I'm doing it within my home, I'm doing it within
a profession, I'm doing it within black men. We are
whatever we say we are. We are not whatever we
say we're not. And having this totally apologh on for
the past two weeks. I ain't turn gay yet, It's
not likely to happen. Ladies and gentlemen and people not likely. Okay, again,

(35:16):
believes some facts. This is the evidence. Your behavior is
the evidence. So I'm no longer a homophobe, and I
can't believe I used to be. But it makes sense
because of my ignorance and not willing to learn more
or different. So big apology to anyone that I've hurt,
that I exiled, that I pushed away, that I cut off,

(35:38):
what anyone who felt any kind of way about me
and my ignorance. I apologize sincerely, and if we're ready,
if you're ready, if you want to have a conversation,
let's have it. It ain't gonna be on it. It
don't have to be on the air unless you wanted to.
I'm cool with that too. But many of us have
hurt people because of our beliefs. Now you can take
out LGBTQ and add anything that you don't feel comfortable

(36:00):
with related to people. Same rules apply. I want you
to challenge you to do better at being you by
considering people outside of yourself. This has been another episode
of three p LS podcast which your host, the doctor
Jason Branch. Well, we rediscover who we were, we embrace
who we are, We make room for who we're trying
to become. If this episode has been a blessing to

(36:21):
you in any way, shape, form, and fashion, you know,
anybody can connect with it, identify with it, send it
to them. Hey, I got a message for you, Hey,
homophobe dou I got a message for you from a
guy whose toes are painted and he's heterosexual and he
don't care what you think. Doctor Branch join us Fridays,

(36:42):
Get to Talk nine am. Pacific twelve pm Eastern. I'm
working on a few things. I'm really building this community
and I thank you all for rocking with me. And
if you hear let me know it, like, share, comment,
and please subscribe. Shoot me a text, shoot me a call,
shoot me an email, or just shoot me either where go,

(37:02):
we win the have a great day.