June 12, 2025 • 44 mins
In this deeply moving mentor session, Dr. Branch sits down with his mentee, Miles Medina a first-generation graduate student in counseling to unpack the real and raw emotions behind reaching out to people on “a higher level,” like professors and PhDs. Miles opens up about the fear of rejection, imposter syndrome, and the weight of academic validation. He shares the pressure of being 1 of 1—the only person in the room who looks like him—and the burden of representing his culture and community in every step forward.
Dr. Branch challenges Miles to take the risk of being himself, even when it feels unsafe or intimidating. Through the "Turtle out the shell" analogy, they discuss vulnerability, letting go of the need for control, and embracing authenticity over perfection. Together, they explore generational and ancestral trauma, the pain of overthinking, and the silent stress of carrying everyone else’s expectations.
Dr. Branch reminds Miles—and all of us—that we are not responsible for changing other people’s minds. Our job is to pour into ourselves, lead with truth, and trust that some people will support us, and others won’t—and that’s okay.
This is a conversation about fear, identity, and freedom. A call to stop peopling for other people—and start becoming the version of yourself only you can be.
Challenges for the Listeners
1. Reach Out Anyway
This week, contact one person who inspires you—even if they feel "above" your level. Send the email. Ask the question. Take the shot. Don’t let fear of rejection stop your growth.
2. Drop the Mask, Even Just a Little
Choose one space in your life where you can show up more authentically. Let go of the need to be perfect. Be honest about who you are—and trust that it’s enough.
3. Stop Carrying What’s Not Yours
Reflect on what pressures you're holding that don’t truly belong to you—whether it's representing your community, changing someone’s mind, or living up to someone else's expectations. Release one of those weights today. You deserve to move freely.
This episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor:
J Branch & Associates: Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by going to www.drjbranch.com; call or text (404) 436-2540
Connect with The 3 Parallels Podcast:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/3parallelspodcast
Download the 3 Parallels Music Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2DCvaDp1wWypO59l1kearH?si=sy0X9tMcSNumk4ym-VZ9LQ
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show on Spotify, IHeart, Apple Podcast, and YouTube. Your feedback helps us inspire more listeners like you!
Get your copy of the Gator Scales Journal on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Gator-Scales-Journal-Jason-Branch/dp/B0DPXLXZWC
Gator Talk: Every Friday via Zoom at 9am PST/12pm EST Join the conversation every Friday starting today on The 3 Parallels Podcast Post Show Q&A Session called Gator Talk.
When: Every Friday
Where: Battlecat Studios (Zoom)
Zoom Link: https://alliant.zoom.us/j/4044362540
Meeting ID:404-436-2540
Time: 9:00am PST/ 12:00pm EST
Dr. Branch challenges Miles to take the risk of being himself, even when it feels unsafe or intimidating. Through the "Turtle out the shell" analogy, they discuss vulnerability, letting go of the need for control, and embracing authenticity over perfection. Together, they explore generational and ancestral trauma, the pain of overthinking, and the silent stress of carrying everyone else’s expectations.
Dr. Branch reminds Miles—and all of us—that we are not responsible for changing other people’s minds. Our job is to pour into ourselves, lead with truth, and trust that some people will support us, and others won’t—and that’s okay.
This is a conversation about fear, identity, and freedom. A call to stop peopling for other people—and start becoming the version of yourself only you can be.
Challenges for the Listeners
1. Reach Out Anyway
This week, contact one person who inspires you—even if they feel "above" your level. Send the email. Ask the question. Take the shot. Don’t let fear of rejection stop your growth.
2. Drop the Mask, Even Just a Little
Choose one space in your life where you can show up more authentically. Let go of the need to be perfect. Be honest about who you are—and trust that it’s enough.
3. Stop Carrying What’s Not Yours
Reflect on what pressures you're holding that don’t truly belong to you—whether it's representing your community, changing someone’s mind, or living up to someone else's expectations. Release one of those weights today. You deserve to move freely.
This episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor:
J Branch & Associates: Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by going to www.drjbranch.com; call or text (404) 436-2540
Connect with The 3 Parallels Podcast:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/3parallelspodcast
Download the 3 Parallels Music Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2DCvaDp1wWypO59l1kearH?si=sy0X9tMcSNumk4ym-VZ9LQ
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show on Spotify, IHeart, Apple Podcast, and YouTube. Your feedback helps us inspire more listeners like you!
Get your copy of the Gator Scales Journal on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Gator-Scales-Journal-Jason-Branch/dp/B0DPXLXZWC
Gator Talk: Every Friday via Zoom at 9am PST/12pm EST Join the conversation every Friday starting today on The 3 Parallels Podcast Post Show Q&A Session called Gator Talk.
When: Every Friday
Where: Battlecat Studios (Zoom)
Zoom Link: https://alliant.zoom.us/j/4044362540
Meeting ID:404-436-2540
Time: 9:00am PST/ 12:00pm EST
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Three Parallels podcast, which are hosts the
Doctor Branch, where we rediscover who we were, embrace who
we are, and make room for who we're trying to become.
The content of this podcast is for informational, educational, and
entertainment purposes only. The information shared, including any materials linked
to this podcast, is not a substitute for professional advice, therapy, diagnosis,
(00:21):
treatment from a physician, therapist, coach, or other qualified professional.
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are my own and
do not reflect any of those organizations or affiliations that
I may be connected with. This podcast is designed for
edutainment purposes, which is the blend of education and entertainment.
Viewer and listener discretion is advised. Gator Talk Geter Talk
(00:42):
is the post show Q and a session for the podcast.
Every Friday. Let's get ready to take the Three par
Lels podcast beyond the episode. Join me nine am Pacific
time twelve pm Eastern for gator Talk, our exclusive post
show Q and a session. Kickback, relaxed step into the
living room, a space for open, laid back conversations with
your hosts, me, Doctor Jason Branch and fellow listeners, Let's
(01:06):
break it all down together of what resonated will hit
home and what's shifting in your journey from who you
were to who you are and who you are becoming.
It's real, it's raw, it's Gator talk. Don't just listen,
join the conversation. See you Friday. The Gator Scales Journal.
It's game time. The Three Parallels podcast just leveled up
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(01:29):
Introducing the Gator Scales Journal, your personal guide to shifting
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progress and don't forget to subscribe, share, like, and comment.
(01:51):
Let's get the work, baby, Gators. Are you stuck in
a trunk with your own car watching life pass you by.
It's time to slide into the driver's seat with a
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move from who they were to embrace who they are
(02:13):
and make room for who they're trying to become. Therapy
with me is real, raw, intentional, authentic, and of course hilarious.
Let's break some cycles together, shift your mindset and unlock
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(02:34):
at four O four four three six two five four zero,
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Check us out on the web at www dot doctor
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a great day, parallel parallel.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
There you go, there you go, shoot it.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Say that one thing gonna call at your bye today
is I have like the list that you sent out
to me for community kind of people to build with.
I drafted an email just kind of like hey, like
you said, like this is who I am, this is
why I'm reaching out. So I just kind of wanted
(03:18):
to run that by you and kind of get your okay,
Like I know you mentioned it, but like this is okay.
To mention like, hey, I was speaking with doctor Branch
and he referred me to you.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Yes, absolutely, okay, absolutely, So just know whether like even
if it's somebody that I haven't connected you with, it's
the same email. You know what I'm saying, use the
same email. Take me out of it, because this this
is how you start that. So you know, with my
community or my connection. Yeah, it's important for them to know,
you know, for those who you make cold call, same
(03:53):
as a plot.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
So make sure yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, And also I appreciate you asking and getting the
back on this.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
And just know that whatever you feel, what.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
You think is best when it comes to communicating and communication,
go with that. Go with you go and when you
when you go with it, whatever you get back, take
that to be whatever you need. For example, say fans,
you send an email out to a mentor faculty and
they notice something, they say something hey like hey you
did this, you did that in your email. Then you
(04:26):
get to decide, hey, do I want to change my
email how I send emails or does this work for me?
But I got somebody to share it with me. Now,
in times out of ten, nobody's checking your checking your
grammar or anything else. On your email and this is
just another thing and this is normal Miles. No, no, no,
this is normal, and it's another weight that we carry.
(04:50):
I need you to know this, man, there's so many
layers of this stuff. We can talk about how.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Hey, we can't even get past the email right now,
Like that's what we're on eve, just sending the email.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
There's so much to wait with that, especially sending it
to somebody at the level that I'm on, as you know,
doctor this or that or pro bowls or chair. It's
a big deal. We view it that way. Yeah, and
nine times a ten, an't nobody checking for that? Anybody
who is, if they're looking out for you, they're gonna
(05:20):
give you some feedback instead of trying to make it perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
There you go, that's yeah, that's true. That's true.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Make it MiLB mm hmm. And by making it you
you're letting them know who you are. Are you seeing
the thing?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, that's true. Like I guess, like for example, like
you're right, there's an intimidation.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I guess you could say, like I want to obviously,
like I want something they have, you know what I mean,
not something they have, but like I want that connection.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So it's like I want to come across as you
know what I mean, like professional in a sense.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
Let me actually, what makes you feel as though you're not?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Probably I have the confidence.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I think it's just the intimidation factor of like me
reaching out to them for the first time.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Okay, Okay, so this is this is exactly this is stress.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, this is stress. So I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
For example, I have like I wrote out like an
email template like deer and then one of the resources
he gave me.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I hope this message finds you well.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I'm currently working on a research project and we greatly
value your insight and expertise. I was wondering if you
might be available for a brief zoom Er Microsoft Teams
meeting from this YEA is approximate the fifteen to twenty
minutes at your convenience. Your perspective would be incredibly helpful
and guiding some aspects of my research, and I appreciate
the opportunity to ask a few questions during the call.
Please let me know if you're opening to connecting, and
I'm gladly coordinated time that works best for you. Thank
(06:52):
you for advance. I know I left out. I know,
like you provided me the resources, so I didn't know
whether it did in court if that was okay or
not to incorporate you know what I mean, what do
you mean?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
What do you mean? Like they're tell me more.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like just saying like like I was referred to you
by doctor Branch.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Yeah, that's that's fine. Just curious what would make it
not okay?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Because I have a relationship with you, and I know
I know who you are and how you operate in
your m I know it. I don't know what the
probability of it being okay was. But I've also had
like professors and like people that are like, but don't
you know what I mean? And it's just like okay.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
All right, So yeah, so good.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I love when we talked, Okay, I love them we
talk because I'm just able to offer a different perspective
and I'm just that that's that's one of the biggest
things that give you a different perpective.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
And his perspective comes from being on this side of
the game. It's a gang. It's a gang. Rather it's
regular monopoly or Monopoly Junior, it's a game. Being on
this side of the game. What I what I shared.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
The perspective I shared with you is what I what
I would have wanted somebody to share with me when
I was in your seat. That's why I shared what
I shared how I share it. So your emails phenomenal,
which I knew.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I didn't even either hear it. I already knew. I
saw your ifp ain't what it's called.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I f yep.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
I saw that no email, it was gonna be good.
Already emails on man, Already, you've emailed me a few times.
I've already done the research. It's gonna be fine. It's
gonna be good.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
It's gonna be fine. That's That's a phenomenal email. It's
great email. And and there are people that's going to
value it and appreciate it and rock with you. And
there's people that's not. It has nothing to do with you.
I need you to know that now, not twenty years later.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
The point of this is let me share me with people.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
And the people who want to build with me, or
give me an offer or take take up take me
up on my offer. That's somebody I get to connect with.
Once I connect with this person, I get to decide
where do we go from here.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
I decide that so they can say, man, this is
a great conversation. I hope you got what you need.
You have a good life.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I see you at a conference, or I'll see even
hell right right, or the other opposite could be.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Great. Thanks for doing this, blah blah blah. If I
can help you on your journey blah blah blah, whatever
you need, make make themselves whatever. There's one way of
the other way, or a lot of things in between
that we don't know anything.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
So your job, oh this is good. Your job is
to figure that out. You gotta sit in the an email,
send an email and let it be. That's it.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So I'm giving you this now because I wish I
got it. You have no idea how many emails I
spend hours on trying to make it perfect, make it right,
and make it this or that for what, for somebody
to say okay, for somebody to ignore it, for somebody
to say, see you in hell. I don't want that
(10:39):
to happen for you. I don't want that to be
for you at all. So from today moving forward, my recommendation.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
From okay, I can get immuted if you get it
taken out of meat it Yeah, oh let me see. Uh.
I don't even know what time, but eve when.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You were cutting your work out for you, I'm sorry
about that.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
No good. Where were we? I was gonna hit you
with a jam. Where where are we?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Emails? Emails, emails?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Yes, so this yeah, agonizing over trying to make it
perfect when the point is to get it out. And
my challenge to you is get it out to as
many people as you feel moved to reach. Could be
people that you know, you admire, You see a conference,
you know that work you're watching that work or research.
(11:38):
Just just reach out, man. Some people will respond, some
people want, some people want to help, some people don't.
Some people Yeah, fifteen minutes and you may talk for
an hour. You know what I'm saying. I want to
challenge you to let go of more things.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Because you're carrying a lot, and you're carrying a whole lot,
a lot of it you carry I understand for safety.
The other side is based off of perception. But you
perceive things to be based off of an idea of
a person, not the person. Not the person, it's the idea.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Think about it. For every person that I hate that
I sent you on that list, you have an idea
about who they are. Now, if you go further and
start researching what they're doing, who they are, but you're
going to get.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
It different perspective about who they are. But you will
not ever know who they truly.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Are unless they want you to know who they are,
And you won't have an.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Idea of who they are beyond what's on paper until
you have a conversation with them. You have a conversation
with somebody, because you're very intuitive, you converse with someone,
you know, if they with you or they not, you
know within five minutes what they're about because you're paying attention.
So that's a skill set that you have. Use it
(13:03):
to your advantage. And out of the people that I
sent you.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
There may be people you connect with maybe something you
don't my job and that ain't for me to figure out.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Just like an email, just like me, I'm giving it
to you because I'm doing it too. I picked I
picked five people specifically. This is an inner circle. I
picked five people specifically that I wanted to send to
you for a reason. My reason, their reason may be different.
My number one reason is to expose you to these
(13:34):
individuals because they are near and dear to myuth.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
I trust them.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I trust them with my people. I trust them with
my mentees. I don't trust everybody with my people. I
don't trust everybody my mentees.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
I don't. So I'm not sending everybody to everybody. Hell now, well,
I can't afford it.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
So Yeah, if I know you had the ability to
be a horrible person, nah, we're good. If I've seen
snake like tendencies, nah, we're good. You won't get none
of about you. Know what I'm saying, I'm gonna prevent that.
I'm gonna create a barrier that it won't happen on
my turn. Now, it may happen to you at a
conference or workshop or whatever, but if it's up to me,
(14:13):
I'm not even sending you in that direction because people
may present themselves to be a certain way in public,
but in private something totally different. I learned that from
from experiencing it, and you're gonna learn it too. I'm
sorry you're already experiencing it. You're already have here is
(14:35):
already happening.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Now.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
What's going to what.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Can be very disheartening, is it's happening to you from
people that you don't expect to be that way. It
may happen to you from people that's part of indigenous
cultures and communities that may shun you. That's like, it
doesn't it doesn't make sense. As you mentioned, we're one
of one. How dare you eat too? Prote that needs
(15:02):
you to know it can happen. I need you to
know that from your own people, it can happen.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
And I don't want you to be surprised if it does.
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
No, I'm definitely not surprised. There's that saying all skin
ain't can yeah. Yeah, And it's just because.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Just because I am one way does not mean that
the person next to you, who embodies the same cultural
heritagees me, is that similar exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah, So I'm very very aware of that. For better,
I guess I shouldn't say for better for worse. It's
just it's a given in a sense.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Yeah, okay, And to me, that's to stay protected. It
keeps you safe.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
It protects you as much as you can you can control.
Now I'm to go further with this because this is
what we're suppos to talk about.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
What you're supposed talk about when you know all of analogy.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm gonna use this tourtle analogy when you're out here
being vulnerable, so just send an email like this. You
are like a turtle that's leaving the shell that get
in the frame and they talk about TV show vulnerables
out here and you don't know what's going to happen.
So whatever does come back to you, if it's not
for your good for.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Your benefit, can be really hurtful because you're out in
a very vulnerable space, you know, saying, as you reach
out to somebody and they send you a rude email back,
that can be really hurtful.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Or you send out somebody that you really want to
connect with and you don't hear shit, that can be
really hurtful. So just know that when you do vulnerable
things like this, it leaves you susceptible to be to
experience things at a very higher level. So it's more intense,
especially like you mentioned some of the people that you're
connected with, like these big time people. Is an expectation, uh,
(17:01):
and it could be disappointing. So in these moments, you know,
take your take your hits as they do, but don't
take them personal. You're gonna take your hits. You're gonna
take your knocks your knocks, but you don't have to
take them personal, because nine times out of ten, no,
ten times out of ten has nothing to do with you,
has nothing to do with you. And a lot of
times we make it about us because that's the only
(17:22):
rationale we have. With no information, person didn't give information,
we're gonna create it.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It was me.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
I should have said this, I should have said that,
I could have I should have No that works, that
don't work. So when you're doing these type of things,
you gotta make sure you got your armor on or
put your ship your turtle shell on mm hmm, before, during,
and after m put.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Your helmet on, put your armor on. Don't take this
shit personal. Put yourself out there. That's what you can control.
Whatever comes back is what you're supposed to have.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Mm hmmm, what does it?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Don't coming off and come later, you know, but make
sure you're protecting yourself and not taking it personal.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
That allows you to keep asking to keep putting yourself
out there. Think about this.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You just gave me this.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
The reason you were hesitant to send that the email
from the beginning is because of what you've already experienced.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
This is what made you gunshot? Like, I don't want
know shit because you done got some shit already.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
You don't have to take that with you because it
doesn't serve you. For where you're trying to go and
where you're trying to go, you need people to help
you get there. How you think I landed in your life? Random,
my producer of the podcast maestroke My Stroke, said this.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Man, it just always rained for me where they were. Like,
you know, sometimes when you're moving in a certain direction
and go on a certain journey, Uh, God will give
you destination helpers, people that's placed in your life to
help you get to a certain place.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
They may stay with you for where they may get
you to that place though, whatever the case may be.
But that's always gonna happen. I feel as though you
and I both have been placing each other's life for that.
So know that the people that think you didn't work
to get me, you didn't do nothing to get me,
but show up. You know what I'm saying. Look at man,
I get excited about the things I'll talk about.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I about it. You know you got this just for
being you. I didn't. I didn't choose you. I didn't
get it. I didn't get a sign to you, like
I didn't pick you. You were assigned to me, Like
this is the guy, this is who he was sharing
the news with. Okay, cool, I got a name in
a school.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
That was it.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
We were supposed to connect, man, So take that. This
is your evidence. This is your evidence. Take that and
give yourself permission to just be just be Miles. I meanness, man,
the email is phenomenal. You need another another run at
the email. It's phenomenal. Good because it's yours and I
(20:11):
know you work.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
You took time and a lot of cognitive energy to
curate it because you wanted to make sure it was right.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
There is no right or wrong. I mean, if you
want to use APA formatting, okay, that's fine. But who
created that that? Don't look like you? It is on
the sandbox and want us to live on a sandbox
when you and I live on the beach. Come on,
here we go, you will go. You speak the way
(20:39):
you choose, and do that.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
We speak differently than everybody else. Why does my email
have to be like it's coming from somebody else and
this is me not This is twenty years later, I
just start speaking authentically in my emails.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
This year I started into twenty twenty four, but I'm
I'm speaking. This is how I talk.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Now.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
You don't have to do don't do this. You might
need twenty years, don't do this.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
But I've moved away from oh it has to be
this or that in my email and my Nope, I'm communicating.
Do you can you understand what I'm communicating?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Yep? Is it grammatically correct? Depends on what day it is.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Hadn't been the best writer, never never claim my whole
life for the most part, got the station though, doctor brands. Though, Okay,
I'm done, shut up?
Speaker 5 (21:40):
What else? What were we supposed to talk about?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
That?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
That's pretty good. Yeah. I think so much of my
life has just like revolved around academic validation.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And just not only academic validation, but just the deep
seated anxiety that I'll never live up.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
To my full potential. And I think.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
That, in combination with kind of, like I said, being
one of one and feeling like I am people's first exposure,
creates like this almost unhealthy pressure within myself. And it's like,
rather than I don't sometimes I feel like I don't
do it Oh, I got it in time I go,
(22:31):
rather than it's like doing it out of doing it
to prove a point because I feel like I can't fail,
rather than and I don't know if that's like borderline.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Like my own thing, or if it's borderline like generational trauma.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Also being just like a minority male within today's society,
you know what I mean, also trying to make my
own I think there's so many factors that just go
into it where it's like it's like, if I fail,
I'll make everybody that looks like me look bad. Right,
(23:11):
And I'm the only one in this space that's doing this,
and I have to be on my a game no
matter what. And so because of that, it makes me
feel like everything has to be like that, Like this
email has got to be professional, right, This email has got.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
To be this, This has got to be this, This
has got to be this right because especially like in
more so like reaching out and formula, like because I
don't want to be the person to speak on behalf
of everybody, or I don't want to be the one that.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Fails and then everybody associates that, you know what I mean, Yes,
all of that is real, All of that is delayed.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Like you say, it could be this, it could be that.
It's all of those things and the things that you
may not even be aware of all. And that's a
lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It is a lot of pressure now.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
And to break it down simplic simplistically, we talked about
two plus two. Can we talk about that, okay? Okay, okay,
So people affordable to the fat same thing, right, it's
facts and beliefs. So what you shared is based off
of belief because how can you speak on the behalf
(24:22):
of an entire population of people live and don't how mum?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
And I think that's the part I got it being
like connecting with you.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's like I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Because there's a fundamental understanding, right, And it's like like
you said, like I will not like I know that
I'm not able to do that, and you know that
you're not able to do that.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And that's just because we come from something. We come
from it, right. But there's not a lot of people
that are in this fear and position to power that
are like us or are like me. You know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
It's real and it's not going anywhere. It's not going anywhere.
But we are.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
We are, man.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
This is where you are right now. This is a
blip on the radar. Man, this is a blip, small.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Very small, and you, because of your vision, you know
where you're gonna go based off well, how far you
can think. It's a whole nother world that you ain't
even thought about, that I've seen that you're gonna be
in that you don't even know exist yet. That's what
I would challenge you to put your energy towards instead
(25:38):
of towards this belief that we alone have the power
to change racism, systematic racism, oppression and beliefs and bias
and stereotype. These folks have had this longer than we've
been alive. What makes you think you can change how
somebody thinks about you outsaw being exactly who you are,
(26:02):
to let them know who you are, m they can
have an opportunity to look at people differently. They can
have an opportunity if they can't have that. If I'm
spending so much energy trying to be like that, oh
my goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, that's true. It's such a daily like oh, push
and cool.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
It's so exhausting, it is, But it doesn't have to
be it is, but it doesn't have to be. I'm
gonna share this real quick.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
How you doing on time? Okay, on time?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I'm think all the time. Mean I gotta bounce out
out here for thirty I don't know what you're looking like.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
Okay, all right, So about fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes, we'll
go over. So about a years ago, really close right
in the friend of mine who's also a doctor. He
got a doctor in physical therapy, so he's done the
medical side.
Speaker 6 (26:59):
I do this.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
He does physical, medical or mental. And we were talking
about just privilege and racism and just being black and
being who we are at the top of our game
and we're surrounded by people that don't look like guys,
and how we've.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Spent most of our lives accommodating other people instead of
living with the audacity like everybody else around us.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
Our Destit new podcast episode. Make sure you check it
out for those listening, check it out. So moving with Audacity.
So when we start shifting to moving with audacity, that
changed things.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
So I developed this term called black privilege, which is
used a lot of different people use black privilege, but
how I describe black privilege is the privilege to come from,
to experience all the things that we've experienced of people
of color, specifically black men or people, to get to here,
and then to be here at this level in choosing
(27:54):
not to assimilate or to conform, but to let people
know who I am and who I'm not. That's privilege.
If every person in color, especially black people, don't have
that privilege because the beliefs I'm not allowed a challenge.
I don't question, I don't make I don't make noise.
I don't don't do that a code switch. I gotta
(28:15):
make sure everything is perfect. Imagine all the shit that
you went through just to get here, and then you
add more baggage by trying to be somebody you're not
to appease other people. That doesn't matter when it comes
to an email. Whatever the hell you wear doesn't matter.
I see you based off of what you look like.
(28:36):
I'll take my perception and it will become reality until
I'm exposed to.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Anything different, which could be me, and when I come
in it's a black unicorn would go on. Everybody knows,
everybody know, Oh he different?
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Yup?
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Because I'm mean, Miles, you don't have to take twenty
years to do this. You don't have to take twenty
years to give. I don't want you to take twenty
years to give. He it's a privilege to be this
authentic and I earned it, man, I earned it from
that basement work and I had to do but to
become this version and give this to you and whoever
(29:10):
else wanted, because we don't have to live this way anymore.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
We did. We did, our parents did, and their parents did,
and that's why they gave it to us, to keep
us safe. Whoever, this isn't the same time as those
times that I have the privilege to get a PhD
dot one. Oh my goodness, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
There's a point in time abound.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
I couldn't We couldn't get a pre You couldn't even
get us school, you know, w E B d Black
at first black PhD at Harvard. He told them the
pleasure was theirs, like y'all have the preferences having me here. Yeah,
that's the team.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
You know what I'm saying. He said that, du boy
said that what what am I talking about?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
You know?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
So that takes practice for you to practice becoming a
better version of you, a healthier version of you that
chooses not to carry the access weight based off of
previous beliefs.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
It's a lot of extra weight. We don't have to
carry anymore. And how do you let some of that
baggage go is to take more risks within reason.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Within safety, security and protection. Mm hmm, what's a risk.
Let me send the email out to the best of
my ability and not over analyze it for three hours.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
You know it too well?
Speaker 5 (30:39):
You know what you could have deal with that three hours?
Do you have any ideas?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You know too well?
Speaker 5 (30:52):
It's okay, though, I see you, because I see me
exact same way.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Man.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I have the same belief same idea, you know, because
I'm going into space, one of one, one of one.
I want to make the best impression because if I fail,
we all fail.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
I believe the same thing.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Reality is, if I fail, I just damn pay other
black man with masters, the other black man with doctors.
I didn't let the community down.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah m hm.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
I just like to be honest, man, I like to simplify.
And this stuff is complex. There's so many layers, but
when we break it down to the facts, it's hard
to continue to carry these unhealthy, unreliable, unreasonable beliefs mm hmm,
(31:52):
it's you don't carry them as much. So my child
is to you your life work. This week, I'm giving
this to you this week, your e every email. How
do I cut my time in half? Every email? I'm
talking about everyone from sending into a damn vent or
the damn president of university? How do I cut down
(32:12):
on time? Meaning? How do I be more authentic? Oh?
Oh that's good, that's true.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Let me be more honest. I'm giving you my people specifically,
and you know I'm a handful. You know they are
a handful.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
They don't give a shit what your email say. What
they care about is, here's a student who's reaching out
for support. I have something they're interested in. Branch told
them about me. Let's go. Let's go. I can't see
anybody that I sent you saying No, I can't see
(32:51):
I can't see anybody criticizing you or critiquing you. I
can't see it general encouragement nudge, Yeah, maybe, but I
don't see it especially no, damn. So don't take my
word for it. Don't take my word for it. Take
what you experience.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
And now that you already have everything set, today is
the day you send it out.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Today is the day.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
You got confirmation, you heard it from me, you got
you got supervision, you got ship.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Yeah, send day.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
I mean it, man, I ain't playing Send it today today.
Scheduled it for Friday. And I know you, I know you.
You do you do, man, send it today because why
am I waiting till Friday? He's it to my fame Friday.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
They busy and they is. It's an email. People checking
when they get ready, not when you want them ready.
Day Sunday, sending day and watch what happens. Watch what happens.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
I'm telling you, man, I love my folks and I'm
not gonna send you anybody that I don't love, respect, value,
that can't offer you something.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Everybody that I connected you with has something to offer
and they don't mind sharing it.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
They don't mind. And it's important you know, to ask
whatever needs you have, you know, whatever questions you have, ask,
don't assume. Ask.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Also, the more vulnerable YouTube to be, the more vulnerable
other people may be.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
Again, as we talked before, make sure you you have
safety and you feel comfortable in that. But when you
share you when you when you're dealing with people that
got you. They share themselves. You're dealing with people that
may not they're not gonna share that much. And that's
an indicator that lets me, no, we can't build. We
can't build it.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
If we do build, if we do build, it's gonna
be probably probably a motel six level. You know, two stories,
that's all we can build. But some people you can
twenty thirty.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
Store were going moving like you and I. When we build, no.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Thirty forty stories up we up here, we are, we are,
we can see things differently, and that's how you begin
connecting the dots to people that you can roll with.
Because even those people that you connect with that you
can only go two stories with, that's still two stories.
That could be a research project, that could be somebody
who's connected to somebody else. That could be tickets to.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
A Laker game.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
You can be what it could be whatever. You know,
what I'm saying a level recommendation.
Speaker 5 (35:42):
It could be anything.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
We can't go too high, but we have enough to
go where we are right now. And then you have
people on the thirty forty fifty floors. But if we
give you everything, man, everything, and it's a spectrum, it's
a spectrum. So you get to determine where you want
people to fit. Like everybody don't need.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
To be your mentor. Everybody don't need to be your mentor.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Some people just need to be a damn friend from
a finely.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah this is true. Okay, going on today, All right,
let's go oh yeah, heck yeah, I'm so great. Thank
you so much, doctor.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Brown, always, always, always, So now that I gave you
a few, I want to challenge you.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Find you five.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Look at different.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Schools, different programs, just people that look interesting. You know,
people who's doing research some of what you want to
do research on. Find you five and do send the sam.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Just take me out of it.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
The same.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
But but before you take me out of them, I
would love to see who you came up with. Send
them to me, because you never know, Like it's only
two degrees of separations, so I may not know them,
I may know somebody connect to them. So whenever you
get to that place, send me what you got and
I may know somebody. Which means an introduction is warmer
than a cold car. Okay, So just know that word
(37:15):
to the wise. Anytime you can get introduced to somebody
It's a.
Speaker 5 (37:20):
Lot more effective than a cold car because the introduction
is this person has this. Say, for instance, lin Woild,
I talk about lying with all that if I seeing
you to lynn Wood, Linwood is connected to me. And
because of the value that.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Me and Linwood's relationship is, he knows if I'm seeing him.
Somebody take care of you already knows. He ain't gotta
we ain't gonna ask questions soon as you say yeah,
doctor brand sent me twenty thirty stories up nice.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
I'm telling you now. I'm telling you now, more often
than not, people will give you everything becau they're connected
to me, and I give. I give a lot, so
much so when I ask someone else to give she
broke up. Butter Cup, buck him up. You're gonna get
You're gonna get hit in the head with the honey bomb.
(38:14):
I'm telling you, They're gonna tell.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
You because they they know what I'm about and who
I'm about. You know, they know my passion, they know
my energy, no, my integrity, they know what I bring.
And when you know that about a person and that
person send you somebody. Man, that's greater than any to me,
greater than anything you know. Because now it's a triod.
(38:41):
It's a trio like because you here's an example.
Speaker 5 (38:44):
This is so good, Oh man, this is I couldn't
hit in the head. My wife. My wife Mia me
as a counselor as well, license counselor, eductor got a
peg hold on me and I met at Asis in
Seattle twenty eighteen. Uh.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Lynn Wood, my mentor, was MEA's mentor as well. He
was mentoring me and her at the same time for
years and we never knew it. We went to a
Uh we all end up going to the conference at
ACES in Seattle. Lynn would introduce me to Mia.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
The rest is history. My mentor introduced me to the
woman that I chose to marriage. I'm trying to tell you.
I'm trying to tell you it's an introduction. It came
from Linwood. I'm like, I know she good people. Know
about anybody, I know she good people. So he connected
(39:44):
me with her, like, yo, she's doing similar research that
you want to do. You know, she working on her
dissertation at un T. But he can. He laid the
table out. We connected rest is history. Man, through a relationship.
I gave so much value because lynn Wood told me
about her. Now live would wanted to induce too.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
Maybe I'm just la, I'm just playing, but that already
gave that already gave her stock for me. Men would
wouldn't introduce me to just anybody, like he introduced me
to a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (40:20):
But how he choose to introduce different depending on the person.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
And then again two stories, twenty stories. If he ain't
laying the ship out, oh man, we might do some
reserve together. We just gonna have a drink tonight.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
That's it. We ain't finna build a lot. We should
do that. So he lets me know.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
You know, but if it's like, yo, friends, this blah
blah blah blah, oh ship we're fina build, we're gonna
bill now let me go another step for that, I'm
gonna shut out to promise.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
So that was my wife, that's my life. That's my wife.
And we got kid like that's my that's my wife.
He induced me. Now to go step further.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Mia went to cal State Bulletin for her master. She
went to un T for her PhD. MIA's mentor Matt
Ingram Crossing. When we moved to California, he found out
she was back in Cali. I know, I met Matt
Blue Linwood again. So Matt was mentoring Maya Matt Newlynwood.
(41:26):
I was introduced to Matt from Lynwood and then I
was reintroduced to Matt from Mia. So because we all
this all this connection. So when we moved to California
the same semester, the same time we moved to California,
Matt was looking for our jump at cal State and
he said, Yo, do you or your husband want to
teach in the fall?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Od? Do you want to serve? And she was like, nah,
you know, i'ma take care of the kid blah blah blah.
I'm like, shit, yeah I do. Let's go. I've been
teaching her ever since, teaching her ever since. Relationships, man,
it rule the world, especially this profession. So I'm gonna
teach my third second about third year of constatements frong
(42:11):
from one introduction like so, so Matt like, oh, you
already connected with men? Would you you married me?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (42:19):
Come on? I didn't even know. He was like here
the still of this, this is what they all start. Man,
Let's meet up for coffee and talk about it.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
That's yeah, I'm sharing this with you because there are
some amazing people in this profession. Man, some amazing people.
There's some horrible ones took me wrong. That's but when
you get.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
Connected to really good people that really value and respect
us as humans and who we are that we're doing,
it's life changing.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Man.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
My life has changed because of this profession and because
of the relationship that happen. So that's why you need
to need today.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
This is true.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I needed to hear all this today.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
You know, I got you every time, every time questions
Tom's concerned and stop for buddle anything, well nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I think the power of relationship is that that's it.
It's power. It's powerful, and it's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
And yeah, everything everything you said hit today, hit home
and definitely is something I needed to hear in process
of think and it kind of yeah, I feel in
a better place now going forward.
Speaker 5 (43:30):
So yeah, man, as I shared last session, man, last time,
we try give yourself permission to be you give yourself
permission like it's.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
Okay to be me everybody. I may not be everybody's
cup of tea, but I don't have to be happy.
And that's how you can begin to let go of
some of the baggage that you no longer have to
care you know what I'm saying this whole email life.
Now from here on out, you're not carrying that bagage
no more. I mean you may secare on your own,
but you know the difference between the fact that the belief.
(44:04):
You know, because you are professional, oh you're a professional. Man,
you don't make it to a master's program not being professional.
I just want to talk about fats. This is true, God,
your personal statement.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Because you can't get in the program without one. Why
because we want to see how you write. And that alone,
lets me know, lets you know you're supposed to be here.
Fuck the email must not man's see your lass, bro,
Welcome to the Three Parallels podcast, which are hosts the
Doctor Branch, where we rediscover who we were, embrace who
we are, and make room for who we're trying to become.
The content of this podcast is for informational, educational, and
entertainment purposes only. The information shared, including any materials linked
to this podcast, is not a substitute for professional advice, therapy, diagnosis,
(00:21):
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The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are my own and
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Speaker 2 (02:55):
There you go, there you go, shoot it.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Say that one thing gonna call at your bye today
is I have like the list that you sent out
to me for community kind of people to build with.
I drafted an email just kind of like hey, like
you said, like this is who I am, this is
why I'm reaching out. So I just kind of wanted
(03:18):
to run that by you and kind of get your okay,
Like I know you mentioned it, but like this is okay.
To mention like, hey, I was speaking with doctor Branch
and he referred me to you.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Yes, absolutely, okay, absolutely, So just know whether like even
if it's somebody that I haven't connected you with, it's
the same email. You know what I'm saying, use the
same email. Take me out of it, because this this
is how you start that. So you know, with my
community or my connection. Yeah, it's important for them to know,
you know, for those who you make cold call, same
(03:53):
as a plot.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
So make sure yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, And also I appreciate you asking and getting the
back on this.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
And just know that whatever you feel, what.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
You think is best when it comes to communicating and communication,
go with that. Go with you go and when you
when you go with it, whatever you get back, take
that to be whatever you need. For example, say fans,
you send an email out to a mentor faculty and
they notice something, they say something hey like hey you
did this, you did that in your email. Then you
(04:26):
get to decide, hey, do I want to change my
email how I send emails or does this work for me?
But I got somebody to share it with me. Now,
in times out of ten, nobody's checking your checking your
grammar or anything else. On your email and this is
just another thing and this is normal Miles. No, no, no,
this is normal, and it's another weight that we carry.
(04:50):
I need you to know this, man, there's so many
layers of this stuff. We can talk about how.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Hey, we can't even get past the email right now,
Like that's what we're on eve, just sending the email.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
There's so much to wait with that, especially sending it
to somebody at the level that I'm on, as you know,
doctor this or that or pro bowls or chair. It's
a big deal. We view it that way. Yeah, and
nine times a ten, an't nobody checking for that? Anybody
who is, if they're looking out for you, they're gonna
(05:20):
give you some feedback instead of trying to make it perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
There you go, that's yeah, that's true. That's true.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Make it MiLB mm hmm. And by making it you
you're letting them know who you are. Are you seeing
the thing?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, that's true. Like I guess, like for example, like
you're right, there's an intimidation.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I guess you could say, like I want to obviously,
like I want something they have, you know what I mean,
not something they have, but like I want that connection.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So it's like I want to come across as you
know what I mean, like professional in a sense.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
Let me actually, what makes you feel as though you're not?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Probably I have the confidence.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I think it's just the intimidation factor of like me
reaching out to them for the first time.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
Okay, Okay, so this is this is exactly this is stress.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, this is stress. So I guess. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
For example, I have like I wrote out like an
email template like deer and then one of the resources
he gave me.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I hope this message finds you well.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I'm currently working on a research project and we greatly
value your insight and expertise. I was wondering if you
might be available for a brief zoom Er Microsoft Teams
meeting from this YEA is approximate the fifteen to twenty
minutes at your convenience. Your perspective would be incredibly helpful
and guiding some aspects of my research, and I appreciate
the opportunity to ask a few questions during the call.
Please let me know if you're opening to connecting, and
I'm gladly coordinated time that works best for you. Thank
(06:52):
you for advance. I know I left out. I know,
like you provided me the resources, so I didn't know
whether it did in court if that was okay or
not to incorporate you know what I mean, what do
you mean?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
What do you mean? Like they're tell me more.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like just saying like like I was referred to you
by doctor Branch.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Yeah, that's that's fine. Just curious what would make it
not okay?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Because I have a relationship with you, and I know
I know who you are and how you operate in
your m I know it. I don't know what the
probability of it being okay was. But I've also had
like professors and like people that are like, but don't
you know what I mean? And it's just like okay.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
All right, So yeah, so good.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
I love when we talked, Okay, I love them we
talk because I'm just able to offer a different perspective
and I'm just that that's that's one of the biggest
things that give you a different perpective.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
And his perspective comes from being on this side of
the game. It's a gang. It's a gang. Rather it's
regular monopoly or Monopoly Junior, it's a game. Being on
this side of the game. What I what I shared.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
The perspective I shared with you is what I what
I would have wanted somebody to share with me when
I was in your seat. That's why I shared what
I shared how I share it. So your emails phenomenal,
which I knew.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I didn't even either hear it. I already knew. I
saw your ifp ain't what it's called.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I f yep.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
I saw that no email, it was gonna be good.
Already emails on man, Already, you've emailed me a few times.
I've already done the research. It's gonna be fine. It's
gonna be good.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
It's gonna be fine. That's That's a phenomenal email. It's
great email. And and there are people that's going to
value it and appreciate it and rock with you. And
there's people that's not. It has nothing to do with you.
I need you to know that now, not twenty years later.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
The point of this is let me share me with people.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
And the people who want to build with me, or
give me an offer or take take up take me
up on my offer. That's somebody I get to connect with.
Once I connect with this person, I get to decide
where do we go from here.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
I decide that so they can say, man, this is
a great conversation. I hope you got what you need.
You have a good life.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I see you at a conference, or I'll see even
hell right right, or the other opposite could be.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Great. Thanks for doing this, blah blah blah. If I
can help you on your journey blah blah blah, whatever
you need, make make themselves whatever. There's one way of
the other way, or a lot of things in between
that we don't know anything.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
So your job, oh this is good. Your job is
to figure that out. You gotta sit in the an email,
send an email and let it be. That's it.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
So I'm giving you this now because I wish I
got it. You have no idea how many emails I
spend hours on trying to make it perfect, make it right,
and make it this or that for what, for somebody
to say okay, for somebody to ignore it, for somebody
to say, see you in hell. I don't want that
(10:39):
to happen for you. I don't want that to be
for you at all. So from today moving forward, my recommendation.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
From okay, I can get immuted if you get it
taken out of meat it Yeah, oh let me see. Uh.
I don't even know what time, but eve when.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You were cutting your work out for you, I'm sorry
about that.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
No good. Where were we? I was gonna hit you
with a jam. Where where are we?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Emails? Emails, emails?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Yes, so this yeah, agonizing over trying to make it
perfect when the point is to get it out. And
my challenge to you is get it out to as
many people as you feel moved to reach. Could be
people that you know, you admire, You see a conference,
you know that work you're watching that work or research.
(11:38):
Just just reach out, man. Some people will respond, some
people want, some people want to help, some people don't.
Some people Yeah, fifteen minutes and you may talk for
an hour. You know what I'm saying. I want to
challenge you to let go of more things.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Because you're carrying a lot, and you're carrying a whole lot,
a lot of it you carry I understand for safety.
The other side is based off of perception. But you
perceive things to be based off of an idea of
a person, not the person. Not the person, it's the idea.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Think about it. For every person that I hate that
I sent you on that list, you have an idea
about who they are. Now, if you go further and
start researching what they're doing, who they are, but you're
going to get.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
It different perspective about who they are. But you will
not ever know who they truly.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Are unless they want you to know who they are,
And you won't have an.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Idea of who they are beyond what's on paper until
you have a conversation with them. You have a conversation
with somebody, because you're very intuitive, you converse with someone,
you know, if they with you or they not, you
know within five minutes what they're about because you're paying attention.
So that's a skill set that you have. Use it
(13:03):
to your advantage. And out of the people that I
sent you.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
There may be people you connect with maybe something you
don't my job and that ain't for me to figure out.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Just like an email, just like me, I'm giving it
to you because I'm doing it too. I picked I
picked five people specifically. This is an inner circle. I
picked five people specifically that I wanted to send to
you for a reason. My reason, their reason may be different.
My number one reason is to expose you to these
(13:34):
individuals because they are near and dear to myuth.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
I trust them.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I trust them with my people. I trust them with
my mentees. I don't trust everybody with my people. I
don't trust everybody my mentees.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
I don't. So I'm not sending everybody to everybody. Hell now, well,
I can't afford it.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
So Yeah, if I know you had the ability to
be a horrible person, nah, we're good. If I've seen
snake like tendencies, nah, we're good. You won't get none
of about you. Know what I'm saying, I'm gonna prevent that.
I'm gonna create a barrier that it won't happen on
my turn. Now, it may happen to you at a
conference or workshop or whatever, but if it's up to me,
(14:13):
I'm not even sending you in that direction because people
may present themselves to be a certain way in public,
but in private something totally different. I learned that from
from experiencing it, and you're gonna learn it too. I'm
sorry you're already experiencing it. You're already have here is
(14:35):
already happening.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Now.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
What's going to what.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Can be very disheartening, is it's happening to you from
people that you don't expect to be that way. It
may happen to you from people that's part of indigenous
cultures and communities that may shun you. That's like, it
doesn't it doesn't make sense. As you mentioned, we're one
of one. How dare you eat too? Prote that needs
(15:02):
you to know it can happen. I need you to
know that from your own people, it can happen.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
And I don't want you to be surprised if it does.
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
No, I'm definitely not surprised. There's that saying all skin
ain't can yeah. Yeah, And it's just because.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Just because I am one way does not mean that
the person next to you, who embodies the same cultural
heritagees me, is that similar exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah, So I'm very very aware of that. For better,
I guess I shouldn't say for better for worse. It's
just it's a given in a sense.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Yeah, okay, And to me, that's to stay protected. It
keeps you safe.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
It protects you as much as you can you can control.
Now I'm to go further with this because this is
what we're suppos to talk about.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
What you're supposed talk about when you know all of analogy.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm gonna use this tourtle analogy when you're out here
being vulnerable, so just send an email like this. You
are like a turtle that's leaving the shell that get
in the frame and they talk about TV show vulnerables
out here and you don't know what's going to happen.
So whatever does come back to you, if it's not
for your good for.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Your benefit, can be really hurtful because you're out in
a very vulnerable space, you know, saying, as you reach
out to somebody and they send you a rude email back,
that can be really hurtful.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Or you send out somebody that you really want to
connect with and you don't hear shit, that can be
really hurtful. So just know that when you do vulnerable
things like this, it leaves you susceptible to be to
experience things at a very higher level. So it's more intense,
especially like you mentioned some of the people that you're
connected with, like these big time people. Is an expectation, uh,
(17:01):
and it could be disappointing. So in these moments, you know,
take your take your hits as they do, but don't
take them personal. You're gonna take your hits. You're gonna
take your knocks your knocks, but you don't have to
take them personal, because nine times out of ten, no,
ten times out of ten has nothing to do with you,
has nothing to do with you. And a lot of
times we make it about us because that's the only
(17:22):
rationale we have. With no information, person didn't give information,
we're gonna create it.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It was me.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
I should have said this, I should have said that,
I could have I should have No that works, that
don't work. So when you're doing these type of things,
you gotta make sure you got your armor on or
put your ship your turtle shell on mm hmm, before, during,
and after m put.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Your helmet on, put your armor on. Don't take this
shit personal. Put yourself out there. That's what you can control.
Whatever comes back is what you're supposed to have.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Mm hmmm, what does it?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Don't coming off and come later, you know, but make
sure you're protecting yourself and not taking it personal.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
That allows you to keep asking to keep putting yourself
out there. Think about this.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You just gave me this.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
The reason you were hesitant to send that the email
from the beginning is because of what you've already experienced.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
This is what made you gunshot? Like, I don't want
know shit because you done got some shit already.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
You don't have to take that with you because it
doesn't serve you. For where you're trying to go and
where you're trying to go, you need people to help
you get there. How you think I landed in your life? Random,
my producer of the podcast maestroke My Stroke, said this.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Man, it just always rained for me where they were. Like,
you know, sometimes when you're moving in a certain direction
and go on a certain journey, Uh, God will give
you destination helpers, people that's placed in your life to
help you get to a certain place.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
They may stay with you for where they may get
you to that place though, whatever the case may be.
But that's always gonna happen. I feel as though you
and I both have been placing each other's life for that.
So know that the people that think you didn't work
to get me, you didn't do nothing to get me,
but show up. You know what I'm saying. Look at man,
I get excited about the things I'll talk about.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I about it. You know you got this just for
being you. I didn't. I didn't choose you. I didn't
get it. I didn't get a sign to you, like
I didn't pick you. You were assigned to me, Like
this is the guy, this is who he was sharing
the news with. Okay, cool, I got a name in
a school.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
That was it.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
We were supposed to connect, man, So take that. This
is your evidence. This is your evidence. Take that and
give yourself permission to just be just be Miles. I meanness, man,
the email is phenomenal. You need another another run at
the email. It's phenomenal. Good because it's yours and I
(20:11):
know you work.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
You took time and a lot of cognitive energy to
curate it because you wanted to make sure it was right.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
There is no right or wrong. I mean, if you
want to use APA formatting, okay, that's fine. But who
created that that? Don't look like you? It is on
the sandbox and want us to live on a sandbox
when you and I live on the beach. Come on,
here we go, you will go. You speak the way
(20:39):
you choose, and do that.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
We speak differently than everybody else. Why does my email
have to be like it's coming from somebody else and
this is me not This is twenty years later, I
just start speaking authentically in my emails.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
This year I started into twenty twenty four, but I'm
I'm speaking. This is how I talk.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Now.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
You don't have to do don't do this. You might
need twenty years, don't do this.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
But I've moved away from oh it has to be
this or that in my email and my Nope, I'm communicating.
Do you can you understand what I'm communicating?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Yep? Is it grammatically correct? Depends on what day it is.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Hadn't been the best writer, never never claim my whole
life for the most part, got the station though, doctor brands. Though, Okay,
I'm done, shut up?
Speaker 5 (21:40):
What else? What were we supposed to talk about?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
That?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
That's pretty good. Yeah. I think so much of my
life has just like revolved around academic validation.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And just not only academic validation, but just the deep
seated anxiety that I'll never live up.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
To my full potential. And I think.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
That, in combination with kind of, like I said, being
one of one and feeling like I am people's first exposure,
creates like this almost unhealthy pressure within myself. And it's like,
rather than I don't sometimes I feel like I don't
do it Oh, I got it in time I go,
(22:31):
rather than it's like doing it out of doing it
to prove a point because I feel like I can't fail,
rather than and I don't know if that's like borderline.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Like my own thing, or if it's borderline like generational trauma.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Also being just like a minority male within today's society,
you know what I mean, also trying to make my
own I think there's so many factors that just go
into it where it's like it's like, if I fail,
I'll make everybody that looks like me look bad. Right,
(23:11):
And I'm the only one in this space that's doing this,
and I have to be on my a game no
matter what. And so because of that, it makes me
feel like everything has to be like that, Like this
email has got to be professional, right, This email has got.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
To be this, This has got to be this, This
has got to be this right because especially like in
more so like reaching out and formula, like because I
don't want to be the person to speak on behalf
of everybody, or I don't want to be the one that.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Fails and then everybody associates that, you know what I mean, Yes,
all of that is real, All of that is delayed.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Like you say, it could be this, it could be that.
It's all of those things and the things that you
may not even be aware of all. And that's a
lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
It is a lot of pressure now.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
And to break it down simplic simplistically, we talked about
two plus two. Can we talk about that, okay? Okay, okay,
So people affordable to the fat same thing, right, it's
facts and beliefs. So what you shared is based off
of belief because how can you speak on the behalf
(24:22):
of an entire population of people live and don't how mum?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
And I think that's the part I got it being
like connecting with you.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's like I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Because there's a fundamental understanding, right, And it's like like
you said, like I will not like I know that
I'm not able to do that, and you know that
you're not able to do that.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And that's just because we come from something. We come
from it, right. But there's not a lot of people
that are in this fear and position to power that
are like us or are like me. You know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
It's real and it's not going anywhere. It's not going anywhere.
But we are.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
We are, man.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
This is where you are right now. This is a
blip on the radar. Man, this is a blip, small.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Very small, and you, because of your vision, you know
where you're gonna go based off well, how far you
can think. It's a whole nother world that you ain't
even thought about, that I've seen that you're gonna be
in that you don't even know exist yet. That's what
I would challenge you to put your energy towards instead
(25:38):
of towards this belief that we alone have the power
to change racism, systematic racism, oppression and beliefs and bias
and stereotype. These folks have had this longer than we've
been alive. What makes you think you can change how
somebody thinks about you outsaw being exactly who you are,
(26:02):
to let them know who you are, m they can
have an opportunity to look at people differently. They can
have an opportunity if they can't have that. If I'm
spending so much energy trying to be like that, oh
my goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, that's true. It's such a daily like oh, push
and cool.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
It's so exhausting, it is, But it doesn't have to
be it is, but it doesn't have to be. I'm
gonna share this real quick.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
How you doing on time? Okay, on time?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I'm think all the time. Mean I gotta bounce out
out here for thirty I don't know what you're looking like.
Speaker 5 (26:44):
Okay, all right, So about fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes, we'll
go over. So about a years ago, really close right
in the friend of mine who's also a doctor. He
got a doctor in physical therapy, so he's done the
medical side.
Speaker 6 (26:59):
I do this.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
He does physical, medical or mental. And we were talking
about just privilege and racism and just being black and
being who we are at the top of our game
and we're surrounded by people that don't look like guys,
and how we've.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Spent most of our lives accommodating other people instead of
living with the audacity like everybody else around us.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
Our Destit new podcast episode. Make sure you check it
out for those listening, check it out. So moving with Audacity.
So when we start shifting to moving with audacity, that
changed things.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
So I developed this term called black privilege, which is
used a lot of different people use black privilege, but
how I describe black privilege is the privilege to come from,
to experience all the things that we've experienced of people
of color, specifically black men or people, to get to here,
and then to be here at this level in choosing
(27:54):
not to assimilate or to conform, but to let people
know who I am and who I'm not. That's privilege.
If every person in color, especially black people, don't have
that privilege because the beliefs I'm not allowed a challenge.
I don't question, I don't make I don't make noise.
I don't don't do that a code switch. I gotta
(28:15):
make sure everything is perfect. Imagine all the shit that
you went through just to get here, and then you
add more baggage by trying to be somebody you're not
to appease other people. That doesn't matter when it comes
to an email. Whatever the hell you wear doesn't matter.
I see you based off of what you look like.
(28:36):
I'll take my perception and it will become reality until
I'm exposed to.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Anything different, which could be me, and when I come
in it's a black unicorn would go on. Everybody knows,
everybody know, Oh he different?
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Yup?
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Because I'm mean, Miles, you don't have to take twenty
years to do this. You don't have to take twenty
years to give. I don't want you to take twenty
years to give. He it's a privilege to be this
authentic and I earned it, man, I earned it from
that basement work and I had to do but to
become this version and give this to you and whoever
(29:10):
else wanted, because we don't have to live this way anymore.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
We did. We did, our parents did, and their parents did,
and that's why they gave it to us, to keep
us safe. Whoever, this isn't the same time as those
times that I have the privilege to get a PhD
dot one. Oh my goodness, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
There's a point in time abound.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
I couldn't We couldn't get a pre You couldn't even
get us school, you know, w E B d Black
at first black PhD at Harvard. He told them the
pleasure was theirs, like y'all have the preferences having me here. Yeah,
that's the team.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
You know what I'm saying. He said that, du boy
said that what what am I talking about?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
You know?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
So that takes practice for you to practice becoming a
better version of you, a healthier version of you that
chooses not to carry the access weight based off of
previous beliefs.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
It's a lot of extra weight. We don't have to
carry anymore. And how do you let some of that
baggage go is to take more risks within reason.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Within safety, security and protection. Mm hmm, what's a risk.
Let me send the email out to the best of
my ability and not over analyze it for three hours.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
You know it too well?
Speaker 5 (30:39):
You know what you could have deal with that three hours?
Do you have any ideas?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You know too well?
Speaker 5 (30:52):
It's okay, though, I see you, because I see me
exact same way.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Man.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I have the same belief same idea, you know, because
I'm going into space, one of one, one of one.
I want to make the best impression because if I fail,
we all fail.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
I believe the same thing.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Reality is, if I fail, I just damn pay other
black man with masters, the other black man with doctors.
I didn't let the community down.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah m hm.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
I just like to be honest, man, I like to simplify.
And this stuff is complex. There's so many layers, but
when we break it down to the facts, it's hard
to continue to carry these unhealthy, unreliable, unreasonable beliefs mm hmm,
(31:52):
it's you don't carry them as much. So my child
is to you your life work. This week, I'm giving
this to you this week, your e every email. How
do I cut my time in half? Every email? I'm
talking about everyone from sending into a damn vent or
the damn president of university? How do I cut down
(32:12):
on time? Meaning? How do I be more authentic? Oh?
Oh that's good, that's true.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Let me be more honest. I'm giving you my people specifically,
and you know I'm a handful. You know they are
a handful.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
They don't give a shit what your email say. What
they care about is, here's a student who's reaching out
for support. I have something they're interested in. Branch told
them about me. Let's go. Let's go. I can't see
anybody that I sent you saying No, I can't see
(32:51):
I can't see anybody criticizing you or critiquing you. I
can't see it general encouragement nudge, Yeah, maybe, but I
don't see it especially no, damn. So don't take my
word for it. Don't take my word for it. Take
what you experience.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
And now that you already have everything set, today is
the day you send it out.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Today is the day.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
You got confirmation, you heard it from me, you got
you got supervision, you got ship.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
Yeah, send day.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
I mean it, man, I ain't playing Send it today today.
Scheduled it for Friday. And I know you, I know you.
You do you do, man, send it today because why
am I waiting till Friday? He's it to my fame Friday.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
They busy and they is. It's an email. People checking
when they get ready, not when you want them ready.
Day Sunday, sending day and watch what happens. Watch what happens.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
I'm telling you, man, I love my folks and I'm
not gonna send you anybody that I don't love, respect, value,
that can't offer you something.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Everybody that I connected you with has something to offer
and they don't mind sharing it.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
They don't mind. And it's important you know, to ask
whatever needs you have, you know, whatever questions you have, ask,
don't assume. Ask.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Also, the more vulnerable YouTube to be, the more vulnerable
other people may be.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
Again, as we talked before, make sure you you have
safety and you feel comfortable in that. But when you
share you when you when you're dealing with people that
got you. They share themselves. You're dealing with people that
may not they're not gonna share that much. And that's
an indicator that lets me, no, we can't build. We
can't build it.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
If we do build, if we do build, it's gonna
be probably probably a motel six level. You know, two stories,
that's all we can build. But some people you can
twenty thirty.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
Store were going moving like you and I. When we build, no.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
Thirty forty stories up we up here, we are, we are,
we can see things differently, and that's how you begin
connecting the dots to people that you can roll with.
Because even those people that you connect with that you
can only go two stories with, that's still two stories.
That could be a research project, that could be somebody
who's connected to somebody else. That could be tickets to.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
A Laker game.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
You can be what it could be whatever. You know,
what I'm saying a level recommendation.
Speaker 5 (35:42):
It could be anything.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
We can't go too high, but we have enough to
go where we are right now. And then you have
people on the thirty forty fifty floors. But if we
give you everything, man, everything, and it's a spectrum, it's
a spectrum. So you get to determine where you want
people to fit. Like everybody don't need.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
To be your mentor. Everybody don't need to be your mentor.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Some people just need to be a damn friend from
a finely.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah this is true. Okay, going on today, All right,
let's go oh yeah, heck yeah, I'm so great. Thank
you so much, doctor.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
Brown, always, always, always, So now that I gave you
a few, I want to challenge you.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Find you five.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Look at different.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Schools, different programs, just people that look interesting. You know,
people who's doing research some of what you want to
do research on. Find you five and do send the sam.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Just take me out of it.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
The same.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
But but before you take me out of them, I
would love to see who you came up with. Send
them to me, because you never know, Like it's only
two degrees of separations, so I may not know them,
I may know somebody connect to them. So whenever you
get to that place, send me what you got and
I may know somebody. Which means an introduction is warmer
than a cold car. Okay, So just know that word
(37:15):
to the wise. Anytime you can get introduced to somebody
It's a.
Speaker 5 (37:20):
Lot more effective than a cold car because the introduction
is this person has this. Say, for instance, lin Woild,
I talk about lying with all that if I seeing
you to lynn Wood, Linwood is connected to me. And
because of the value that.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Me and Linwood's relationship is, he knows if I'm seeing him.
Somebody take care of you already knows. He ain't gotta
we ain't gonna ask questions soon as you say yeah,
doctor brand sent me twenty thirty stories up nice.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
I'm telling you now. I'm telling you now, more often
than not, people will give you everything becau they're connected
to me, and I give. I give a lot, so
much so when I ask someone else to give she
broke up. Butter Cup, buck him up. You're gonna get
You're gonna get hit in the head with the honey bomb.
(38:14):
I'm telling you, They're gonna tell.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
You because they they know what I'm about and who
I'm about. You know, they know my passion, they know
my energy, no, my integrity, they know what I bring.
And when you know that about a person and that
person send you somebody. Man, that's greater than any to me,
greater than anything you know. Because now it's a triod.
(38:41):
It's a trio like because you here's an example.
Speaker 5 (38:44):
This is so good, Oh man, this is I couldn't
hit in the head. My wife. My wife Mia me
as a counselor as well, license counselor, eductor got a
peg hold on me and I met at Asis in
Seattle twenty eighteen. Uh.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Lynn Wood, my mentor, was MEA's mentor as well. He
was mentoring me and her at the same time for
years and we never knew it. We went to a
Uh we all end up going to the conference at
ACES in Seattle. Lynn would introduce me to Mia.
Speaker 5 (39:22):
The rest is history. My mentor introduced me to the
woman that I chose to marriage. I'm trying to tell you.
I'm trying to tell you it's an introduction. It came
from Linwood. I'm like, I know she good people. Know
about anybody, I know she good people. So he connected
(39:44):
me with her, like, yo, she's doing similar research that
you want to do. You know, she working on her
dissertation at un T. But he can. He laid the
table out. We connected rest is history. Man, through a relationship.
I gave so much value because lynn Wood told me
about her. Now live would wanted to induce too.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
Maybe I'm just la, I'm just playing, but that already
gave that already gave her stock for me. Men would
wouldn't introduce me to just anybody, like he introduced me
to a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (40:20):
But how he choose to introduce different depending on the person.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
And then again two stories, twenty stories. If he ain't
laying the ship out, oh man, we might do some
reserve together. We just gonna have a drink tonight.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
That's it. We ain't finna build a lot. We should
do that. So he lets me know.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
You know, but if it's like, yo, friends, this blah
blah blah blah, oh ship we're fina build, we're gonna
bill now let me go another step for that, I'm
gonna shut out to promise.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
So that was my wife, that's my life. That's my wife.
And we got kid like that's my that's my wife.
He induced me. Now to go step further.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Mia went to cal State Bulletin for her master. She
went to un T for her PhD. MIA's mentor Matt
Ingram Crossing. When we moved to California, he found out
she was back in Cali. I know, I met Matt
Blue Linwood again. So Matt was mentoring Maya Matt Newlynwood.
(41:26):
I was introduced to Matt from Lynwood and then I
was reintroduced to Matt from Mia. So because we all
this all this connection. So when we moved to California
the same semester, the same time we moved to California,
Matt was looking for our jump at cal State and
he said, Yo, do you or your husband want to
teach in the fall?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Od? Do you want to serve? And she was like, nah,
you know, i'ma take care of the kid blah blah blah.
I'm like, shit, yeah I do. Let's go. I've been
teaching her ever since, teaching her ever since. Relationships, man,
it rule the world, especially this profession. So I'm gonna
teach my third second about third year of constatements frong
(42:11):
from one introduction like so, so Matt like, oh, you
already connected with men? Would you you married me?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (42:19):
Come on? I didn't even know. He was like here
the still of this, this is what they all start. Man,
Let's meet up for coffee and talk about it.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
That's yeah, I'm sharing this with you because there are
some amazing people in this profession. Man, some amazing people.
There's some horrible ones took me wrong. That's but when
you get.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
Connected to really good people that really value and respect
us as humans and who we are that we're doing,
it's life changing.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Man.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
My life has changed because of this profession and because
of the relationship that happen. So that's why you need
to need today.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
This is true.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
I needed to hear all this today.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
You know, I got you every time, every time questions
Tom's concerned and stop for buddle anything, well nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I think the power of relationship is that that's it.
It's power. It's powerful, and it's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
And yeah, everything everything you said hit today, hit home
and definitely is something I needed to hear in process
of think and it kind of yeah, I feel in
a better place now going forward.
Speaker 5 (43:30):
So yeah, man, as I shared last session, man, last time,
we try give yourself permission to be you give yourself
permission like it's.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
Okay to be me everybody. I may not be everybody's
cup of tea, but I don't have to be happy.
And that's how you can begin to let go of
some of the baggage that you no longer have to
care you know what I'm saying this whole email life.
Now from here on out, you're not carrying that bagage
no more. I mean you may secare on your own,
but you know the difference between the fact that the belief.
(44:04):
You know, because you are professional, oh you're a professional. Man,
you don't make it to a master's program not being professional.
I just want to talk about fats. This is true, God,
your personal statement.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Because you can't get in the program without one. Why
because we want to see how you write. And that alone,
lets me know, lets you know you're supposed to be here.
Fuck the email must not man's see your lass, bro,
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