Gator Mode: Black Girl Magic with Dr. Janelle Jones

In this powerful and personal, and hilarious episode, Dr. Branch is in the living room with Dr. Janelle Jones for a candid conversation about identity, purpose, and the journey. Dr. Jones opens up about her experience moving straight through school into academia, shaped by cultural expectations and personal drive. But life had other plans. She shares what led her to step away, take a deep breath, and choose herself.From traveling to nine countries, reconnecting with family, and embracing solitude, to wrestling with the job market and tuning in to her future self, Dr. Jones walks us through her decision to live with more intention. She reflects on the power of the law of attraction, financial literacy, and being a visionary who speaks life into existence.If you’ve ever felt the pull to pause, pivot, or redefine what success looks like, this episode will resonate. Dr. Jones brings insight, warmth, and vulnerability to every minute. Join in and bring a friend. you’ll both walk away with something real.

🎯 3 Challenges
3 Lifework Challenges inspired by Dr. Janelle Jones’ journey:

1. Redefine Your "Why"
   Reflect on why you chose your current path—career, education, or lifestyle. Now ask yourself: Is this still true for me today? If your “why” has shifted, write a new one that fits who you are becoming, not just who you were.
2. Create a Personal Growth Map
   Outline the version of yourself you’re working toward. Who is that person mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially? Write out 3 actions you can take in the next 30 days to start aligning with that version of you.
3. Audit Your Life Curriculum
   List the lessons life has taught you outside of the classroom or workplace. What have your biggest challenges taught you about yourself? How can you apply that wisdom to your next decision or season? Treat your lived experience as required reading.

This episode is brought to you by our amazing sponsor:
J Branch & Associates: Schedule your free 15 minute consultation by going to www.drjbranch.com; call or text [phone] 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Three Parallel, Three Parallel, Three Parallel.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Three Parallel podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Welcome back to the Three Parallels podcast, which your host
d Doctor Jason Branch.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Will we discover who we were, who we are, and
who we're trying to become?

Speaker 3 (00:18):
In today's guests, Ooh, I'm telling y'all, whenever I bring
family on this show, we have a good time. The
reality is we've been talking this shit for a long time.
Now y'all get a chance to listen. So this guest
half of today is family because we go back way back,
so far back that she was an NBC She is
because it's like a fraternity, a sorority, like once you remember,

(00:39):
that's it for life.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
So she is a.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Member of the NBCC Minority Fellows. And I had the
pleasure of meeting her as one of my mentees several
years ago when she's a doc student, and from the
initial phone call, already I already knew, so I already
called her by name, doctor Jones when we first talked,
And from that moment all the way to today, we've

(01:02):
gone from a mentee mentor relationship to colleagues. So now
we support each other, we assist each other, we're cheerleaders.
For each other, and this woman to me represents black girl, magic.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Ladies, and gentlemen.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
I would like to introduce to you today, doctor Janelle Jones.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Welcome to the show, baby.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you
for having me.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Absolutely absolutely, So listen, we're gonna die right in because
people need to know who we're talking to.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Okay, So if you could.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Share your story, your journey, who you are, who you were,
who you're becoming, from humble beginnings to where you are
now as a faculty, living your dreams, living your best life.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I mean, world traveler like you out here.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
You out here, So if you could share with us
the journey of where you were to where you are now.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yeah, for sure. So born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana.
That's my hometown, which is a mid side city. It's
growing right, but growing up it was kind of like,
there's really nothing to do here. There's not too much
to do here. Beyonce is never going to stop here
on tour type of thing, which is fun. So we
had to go to the Chago for that. But grew
up in a cold city, lots of snow, lots of

(02:10):
family time, right, family oriented However, when I was a kid,
I think I was like five, maybe turning six, my
parents got divorced, right, and so they took us to
family therapy, and I was like, huh my therapist was
a black woman. I was like, huh, I want to
be able to help families with their tough times, their
tough moments, like, maybe I can do this right. And
at the time, my mom was actually in her own

(02:31):
doctoral program to become a psychologist, right, and so I'm
just hearing the conversation she's having with like some of
her cohort members and things like that, and I'm like, oh,
maybe I can do this right. So, like I made
up my mind at the age of six what I
was going to be in life. Yeah, and so everything, yeah,
everything leaving up into these moments, right, has been like
You've been on this trajectory, this path, right, and so

(02:54):
moving through life right. Grew up, had a smaller family,
my brother, my grandma lived with us, which contributed largely
to like my own research agenda and working with black
older adults. But yeah, had a wonderful life growing up.
And then I went away to college at eighteen, which
is really cool, but I was still like an hour
away from family, so I'm still in the state, but

(03:14):
it was like yearning to leave the state of Indiana.
Right went to college, did my first study abroad to India,
which is really great, and it gave me the travel bug,
and I was like, Okay, not only am I going
to get it out of Indiana, Like I'm going to
leave this country multiple times. And so I was like,
I got my passport. It's good for the next ten years,
Like I'm going to use this thing up.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
So developed a love.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
Of travel, and during my senior year of college, I
was applying to different graduate schools and I was like,
this is my ticket out right, Like I didn't get
to leave for undergrad but like, I am not staying
here for grad school now. The amount of student loans
I acquired should have suggested otherwise.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
But I got about the state. I moved down to Georgia.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
I went to Georgia State, which is really cool, and
while I was there, met some lifelong friends, really great
cohort members. And when I started my master's program, I
was like, okay, I was a kid, I was in therapy.
I want to be able to help other black kids.
So I went into Georgia State and wrote my little
admissions letter saying like I'm going to be a black
play therapist, right, and we did our first play therapy

(04:16):
class and I was like, actually, I'm not. No, I
don't I don't have the patience or tolerance for children.
I don't actually want to do this. I'm not about
this Santre life like no, thank So I switched. And
like my advisor, who was a play therapist, was like,
what do you mean You're switching and I was like, yeah, no,
I'm switching.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
I don't actually want to do this.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
So I went to the entire opposite end of the
age spectrum, right, and I was like not kids, older adults.
And there was a gerontological certificate program at GSU. They
have a Gerontology Institute, and so while I was in
practicum and internship, I was taking some of my final
accounseling classes like appraisal, and then I also enrolled in

(04:56):
their certificate program.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
And so last year's last year, my.

Speaker 4 (04:59):
Master's program right out right burnt out because I was
like trying to do all the hours for internship, still
taking counseling classes and then taking three additional classes a
semester so I could still get out of the program
on time and graduate with this additional certificate, and then
also applying for doctoral programs, right because I was like,
I'm gonna be doctor Jones right here.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
It's real, real quick. You can live in this life,
your whole life.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Whole life, whole life, whole life. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
And so it's been an interesting and I think that's
the interesting thing, right, because it's like there's always been
another finish line, right, like even when I get to it, like, Okay,
I finished undergrad, let me go to my master's program,
new finish line, and like I'm getting this degree, but
I also want the certificate, new finish line, right And
then while I'm actively trying to get to that finish line,
I'm applying to get another finish line in.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
A doctor program.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
And so I was already like, oh, I'm so tired, right,
but but I'm doing the things. And this is what
I said my dream was. And so I like to
attribute it to being a Capricorn, but like hard work
has never I've never shied away from that. And so
it was like, well, here's this journey me and here's
what I say I want, So let me do this
work to get it in and do it, and so
I applied for different doc programs. I ended up at

(06:07):
the University of Alabama. So I moved a couple hours
away from where I was in Georgia, and the first
year of my doc program hit me like a ton
of bricks, and I was like, this is different. I
don't like the city necessarily, and the program expectations were
totally different, right from a master's level to a doctoral level.
And so incomes a little bit of imposter syndrome where

(06:29):
I'm like, do you know what I'm doing? I thought
I was good enough or I thought this was you know,
my trajectory, Like, am I in the right spot?

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Is this conducive to what I say I want to do?

Speaker 4 (06:38):
And be so a lot of struggle and in the
first couple of years in my dock program, and then
I met you doctor Branch, which is great, and got
connected to a mentor and folks who were really pouring
into me and being like, no, like, you are who
you say you are, and you can do all the
things you want to do. You just have to figure
out how to navigate the systems you're already in. And
so I'm like, Okay, bet we can do that help

(06:58):
me out right, give me all the advice, the support
and love needed to get through my program. And so
after five years, right, So that's the other thing too.
My program was a four year program. Some doc programs
are three year programs. When I was a four year program,
pandemic happened in the middle of my program. I think
a lot of my focus got lost there and it
was kind of like a am.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
I working from home? I'm a coffee shop girl, Like
what are we doing?

Speaker 4 (07:19):
And so wasn't actually doing the work from home and
then was experiencing again another stint of burnout, and so
it was like, well, how do I after my dissertation proposal,
how do I open my laptop without crying?

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Right?

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Like it was it was a moment.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
And thankfully, I will say this had a black woman
therapist my entire doc program, so that mental health care
was necessary, and like as a clinician, I'm always advocating
for other clinicians to get and have clinicians and so
like that helped me like get motivated again and be
able to navigate some of the anxiety I had around
finishing out my program. And so took five years out

(07:54):
of a four year program needed the extra year. It
worked out in my favor. Defended summer of twenty three.
Summer of twenty two, I was like, Okay, this is
gonna be my fifth and final year.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
I'm done.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
But when I'm done, I'm taking a break. Like I
made up my mind a year earlier. I was like,
after I graduate, I could go on to the job market.
I had already, you know, looked around for jobs and
had honestly been hired for a job. And they were like,
as long as you finished by this day, blah blah blah.
And I was like, yeah, actually, no, thank you. I
appreciate the offer.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
It's good to know that I am qualified for positions
in my field, and that's great. And also no, because
I need rest, right Because, as I shared, I had
been going finish line to finish line, and so I
made a conscious decision that honestly went as against the
grain of everything I knew and how I was raised
to like, work, work hard, keep going. And I was like, actually,

(08:49):
I'm gonna sit down. I'm going to rest. I've done
all this work and I've spent my entire like all
of my life in school since the age of five,
no breaks, no gas, no gap years. Was like, I'm
taking a gap year between school and work. I need it,
I deserve it, I've earned it, and no one's gonna
tell me different. And so I had a year to

(09:09):
kind of start planning out, Okay, what do I want
to do during the gap year? How do I save
money to make sure that I can afford to live
during the gap year and pay bills? And also like,
do these traveling things that I'm planning to do. So
the year that I was finishing out, I was also
planning to take a year for us after I finished,
which was a struggle in and of itself. I had

(09:30):
folks dropping off my committee at the last minute, and
all these other dramatic things that really shouldn't have happened,
but they happened, And so I was navigating those the
best I could, with the goal in mind of like
after this, I'm unplugging, right, I'm done. I'm not answering
my emails. I won't be attached to it. I'm not
no one will owe I want ow anybody a copy
or a vision of anything.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm taking a gap. And so after I.

Speaker 4 (09:54):
Finished, I moved home to the state of Indiana, because
I hit my mom up and I was like, listen,
I'm not bo to pay rent during this year and
be out of the country.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
I need to.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
Save my money to be able to travel and spend
money in these different countries. And so she was like, yeah,
come on home, and she was glad to have me
home because I haven't lived there since I was eighteen,
and she was like, yeah, come home. And so what
I did anticipate during the gap year is spending so
much time at home, not realizing like I did miss
my family. I missed my mom, I missed familiarity in

(10:24):
the city that I was raised in, and so that
was a beautiful time to be able to spend quality
time with family after having been gone so long for
school or only being able to come home on holiday breaks.
So that was a good time. But then I was like, Okay,
I've had enough time in Indiana. It's knowing now I've
got to go travel. And so I went to nine
different countries during the gap year, which is a great time.

(10:46):
And I presented at a conference at the European branch
of ACA in Amsterdam that was pretty cool. Did London,
and then I switched gears, went to Southeast Asia. I
did Bali, Indonesia, did three different cities in Thailand, and
then I went to three different cities in Vietnam and
I spent six weeks there.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Twisted my ankle. It was supposed to be eight weeks there.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
Twist my ankle had to come back early, and I
was like, oh, this is so dramatic, like what is happening?

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Oh, I forgot to mention.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
I went to Paris friends in Barcelona, Spain, with my
mom and my brother, and that was a week after
I defended my dissertation, and so I said, I'm gonna
have to give both cities to go again because I
was so tired. Like I was like, oh, I think
I would like Paris if I was cognizant enough to
know what actually was happening in Paris. I just remember

(11:36):
the Eiffel Tower and macaroons, right, but like nothing else, right,
nothing else. So I'm like, I actually need to go
back and revisit Paris. But Barcelona we did get to
see Beyonce on her world tour, so that was actually
really great. And then yeah, so I came back early
from Southeast Asia with a spraining ankle and had to

(11:57):
get physical therapy before the ankle, right, so I had
your girl down and out, and I was like, okay,
maybe not traveling for a month or so. And then
I went on a trip with my best friend who's
also a counsel educator, and we went to Panama as
well as Columbia. And so I had some amazing trips
during the gap year, some with family, some with friends.

(12:18):
But the one that changed me the most was the
solo trips Southeast Asia, right, because I was just navigating
countries on my own and being really spontaneous, which again
doesn't align with my Capricorn presentation. Right, I'm like, plan, plan, plan,
Everything has a trajectory, but during the gap year, I'm like,
see to my pants, what country do you want to
go next? Like nothing on the agenda, let's just figure

(12:39):
it out as we're there, and intentionally trying to step
outside of ways of being that made me comfortable, that
made but also made me overwhelmed. Right, Like the same
ways of being kept me pigeonholed in a state of
constant angst. And I was like, actually, no, let's not
do this anymore. Let's try some new things. And so

(12:59):
I it was a beautiful time to reset, A beautiful
time to reset, which brings me to where I am
right now.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Okay, oh my god, there's so much, so much, so
we got to dive into it.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
I love how again. I told y'all, listeners, I told
y'all who was coming to the show today. I told y'all,
she's here, she has arrived. And I love hearing your
story because I get to hear a lot of things
in different ways. Like we've been talking for years, but
there are certain things that I'm not aware of that
I learned from these conversations. So a couple of things
came up for me that I want to dive into.

(13:32):
And where we're going to go is the basement, because
that's where we are already the basement for those for
the new listeners. The basement is where the heart lies,
is where all of our stuff is locked away. It's dark,
it's musty down there, it's moth.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Balls, it's the worst. We don't spend a lot of
time there.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
However, that's where the magic happens, is in the basement.
And when the magic happens in the basement, you can
bring all of that up to the second floor in
the living room. The third floor is the attic, which
is in your mind. That's where we spend a lot
of time. But we don't do a lot of things.
We do the thing in the living room, but in
order to do the thing, we got to be mindful
of what we're spending our time. So I'm curious to
know you have accomplished so much so soon, and you've

(14:14):
found out about who you are and who you are not,
and I love that you shared that and what you're hearing,
what you what you just said. So I'm curious to
know how did you how did you shift from this
timeline mentality to.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Uh uh, I'm done?

Speaker 3 (14:28):
And then how did you go from I'm choosing not
to do I'm choosing to be And I'm just gonna explore,
So how did you do that? How did you overcome
the grind to decide I ain't doing this shit no more,
I'm gonna do it this way?

Speaker 2 (14:42):
How did you do it?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (14:44):
So, first and foremost, a lot of thought. Right, I
wish I could be a seated by pants person all
the time, but I'm not. Right, Like, like I said,
like I planned the gap year four a year in advance,
right where I was like, I don't know exactly where
I'll be, but I know what positions I need to
move in place in order to do this right. So
I started taking small, minor steps and was really just

(15:05):
thinking things out and processing things allowed with my mom,
and I'm really thankful to have her as a support system,
because some folks would I mean, she was a hard
work She's still a hard working person, right, and she
was raising an error where it was like you work,
you work, you get a job, and you work. And
so to even have that conversation with my mom and
be like, yeah, I think I actually, despite me being

(15:26):
in school forever and finally having these degrees to do
this work, I actually don't want to not right now
right and I don't. And part of that is also
revisiting my past and acknowledging like I've been in states
of burnout. I know exactly how that feels, and towards
the end of my DOCK program, particularly as things were
happening surrounding my dissertation and committee members and other things

(15:46):
that were going awry, I was like, if I get
back to another state of burnout, I don't know if
I'll come out of it. And I'd rather not risk that.
I don't want to risk my mental health in this
way anymore, not for a finish line. I don't want
to risk my physical health in this way anymore. Because
that was another thing, right, Like, as a student, you
get the student health insurance, you get to go to
your student clinic for free, all the things, and they're like, yeah,

(16:09):
your blood pressure's high, and I said, ooh, you know what,
we got a family history of that already. I'm not
going to risk my well being. Nothing in my program,
nothing about the work that was lying ahead of me,
is worth the stroke, it's worth the heart attack is
worth negative health impacts and harm and detriments to my
mental health. And so I got to the point where

(16:30):
I was like, Okay, let's logically look at all these
facts in front of us. You are tired, you have
done all of this work thus far. And as you mentioned, right,
I'm a high achiever, right, I've done so much in
so little time. I'm still thirty years old. Right with
the doctor, I can sit down, yeah, right, And I
also didn't. I was like, well, I wouldn't call my
twenties a waist, but I spent them grinding, right, And

(16:53):
that's fine, a lot of people do. I don't want
to spend my thirties the same way.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Come.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I
want to rest. I want to sit back and look
at the work that I've been able to do and
allow that to push me forward to do more work,
but in a timeline that feels aligned with something that's sustainable,
something that I can continue to pour into and receive
back from where there's reciprocity in that, as opposed to

(17:19):
me just grinding, grinding, giving giving, And now I've given
away my time and my energy, my health and my
well being, my mental solitude and all of my peace.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
I don't want to do that.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
And so I got to the point where I was
literally just fed up, and I was like, oh, well.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
I'm done.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Okay, I've given enough. I've actually done it more than enough.
I'm tired.

Speaker 4 (17:42):
I'm literally sick and tired, and I'm gonna become sick
quite literally if I keep giving. And so had the
conversations with family members, meditated, preyed on it, and had
real conversations with myself right of like what does it
mean to sit down? What does it mean to rest?
Does that in any way mean you're a failure, like
having these discuss right of like, is this failure? Is

(18:02):
this a fear of engaging further? Are you fear of
the unknown of what this will look like on the
other side of this degree like having those self conversations
and getting into it and having the tears, right and
being in the basement with myself, right, and then you
bring in your own dehumidifier, You're like, wipe the tears,
let's get it together, Okay, make the decision. I had

(18:25):
to make the decision and stand permanent, right, and so
part of and people would think, you know, you just
you make this decision, But you can always change your mind.
With the academic job market, when you decide you're not
looking into jobs, you're not gonna have one, Like if
you don't start in your timeline now, of course there's
always some leftover jobs at the end where they're like, oh,

(18:46):
you know, hop on real quick, but that may not
be somewhere you want to be, somewhere you're willing to
move to.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Back to together, right, And so I was like when I.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
Made that decision the summer before I defend it, right,
it was like if I don't start looking in the
far or at the latest in the spring. I'm not
gonna have a job when I graduate. And that was
a conscious choice, even when those emails were coming in
my box tempting me like, Hey, here's a job, this
could be a fit, this could be great, this place
plays well. I was like, you know what resists? Yeah,
it's in your inbox, but it's not for you in

(19:15):
this moment. You don't need it. Yeah, right, And you've
made a conscious choice to not do this, so you're
gonna have to follow through, right, And like testing myself
and being tested throughout that year of like you said,
you're gonna do this, he said, you're gonna take care
of yourself in this way that you know you need to.
Are you actually about that life? And it boiled down
to me actually being about that life?

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Ooh, I love it. Gator talk. That's that gator talk.
I love it.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
So I want to break some things down because you
lived this and what you share connects the dots. So
what I mentioned earlier about the attic and basement, it
sounds like you knew where you were and you spent
some time in that attic, and the attic is where
logic lies. So you were talking logic. You were speaking logic.
You were having conversations with your past self, your current
your future self, like hey girl, what we're finna do

(20:02):
and what we're not finna do. And then on top
of that, you had assistance cause you mentioned therapy, a
therapist going to therapy. Come on, black you and the
marm with a go home. So being in the basement
by yourself doing the work and then deciding, hey, I
need professional help. I need to continue professional help. I
need somebody in this basement with me to help me

(20:22):
process and work through which allowed you to live your
best life in the living room.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
This is evidence. Oh I just got chilled. I just
got chilled.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
You ain't even you just turned thirty like yesterday, Like,
what are we doing?

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Okay, So to the listeners, get over yourself. That's what
I heard.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
She's there, Get over yourself, get out the way, spend
some time with you to figure out what works for
you and what doesn't.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
And what I also heard.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Is you listen to yourself and you got to a
place in your life where your reality didn't align with
your beliefs, and you decided none.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Mm hmm, I'm done good night.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
And not only making that decision, but you stood behind
it and you are consistent in it. And that's where
a lot of us struggle. We make a decision and
then we go back on it. We make a decision,
and then the old version of us comes back and
run the show. And for you, it just sounds like
your journey has been a constant sculpting of the woman

(21:26):
that you saw yourself as. And because you experienced that
burner out and capacitatigue, you recognize I ain't doing that
shit again. So you figured you out and I'm so proud,
I'm so impressed. And your story, your truth is impactful
to all the listeners here in some capacity because you're
a living testimony of the work. And that's exactly what

(21:47):
you did the work. Now on top of that, I
just won't talk a locator shit. On top of the work,
you knew I need to rest and celebrate.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
You did both.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
People Salamanis don't do that. Salamanis don't know they used to.
Don't rest, they don't celebrate. But you got to that
place where you're at the pinnacle. That's the highest you
can go. Academically, we can't go. No further than the PA.
We can get more pad, you can go gimmt, but
it doesn't go any further than that. So to do that,
and then to recognize you and give yourself what you

(22:20):
need by challenging these beliefs and ideas that we have,
you know, from ancestry to community and culture and family,
you broke the mold of all of that and now
you're living life on your own terms.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
And I am impressed.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
So to your point though, right when we mentioned like
me being thirty, on my twenty ninth birthday, I was exhausted,
and I was in Alabama, and I was trying to
get a deadline for my proposal and all these things,
and I was just writing, writing, writing, and I remember
crying on my birthday because I wasn't celebrating it the
way I wanted to. And I've been on birthdays, and

(22:58):
I believe you should always celebrate your own life.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
And so I was like I made up in my mind.
I was like, you know, I'm a thirtieth birthday.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
I'm gonna be on the beach and I'm gonna be
lounging and I'm gonna be having a great time right,
and I was like envisioning myself a year ahead of time.
I was like, well, I'm turning thirty. Thirty is a
new decade. That's a monumental birthday. I'm gonna spend it
how I want to, not inside looking at a computer screen,
strain in my eyes, crying about it. I'm going to
be relaxing. And so I celebrated my thirtieth birthday on

(23:24):
the beach in Bali, drinking mango SMOOTHI is having a
great time.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh my god, that's so beautiful. That's so beautiful. And
what's so interesting this is in real time. We didn't
practice this.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
What's so wild about that I did the same thing
on my birthday. I wasn't in Bali, I wasn't bother.
I was actually in the dr But the story that
you just shared, I experienced the same thing. And it
was at the end of my doc program where I
faced the same thing of I need to just rest.
And I always envisioned myself celebrating my birthday in a

(23:55):
different country, and that's when it started, and when I
graduated with my program, and I saw myself on the
beach with a cigar, legs crossed at the ankle, drinking
hand by myself having the time of my life, and
that vision became my.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Reality in twenty eighteen. And I just love that.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
You know, we living in this parallel universe where you
recognized you and you you were able to have the
birthday of your dreams and you still doing it.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
Yeah, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
I tried to tell y'all, listeners, listen, I need y'all
to start writing this stuff down. Janelle doctor Jones is
dropping bread crumbs, and bread crumbs are information things that
we need to know. See here that's hidden in plain sight.
She's giving you the blueprint. She did it, She did it.
So there are no excuses besides the ones that we making.
Y'all making a lot of them. I'm sorry, we make

(24:46):
a lot of them.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
I can't just break y'all. Me too, me too.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
So I want to shift gears just a moment, because
there's so much more I want to dive into. Well,
before we go there, I didn't want to go back
to something because I'm sure that the listeners are at
as curious as me. Okay, now you travel to nine
countries post doctor, how the hell financially?

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Yeah, how did you afford because for me when I graduated,
I ain't had no money, I had nothing extra. I
just had enough to survive. How did you travel to.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
None countries financially and manage yourself besides just staying at home,
because that's one part, but still, you know it costs
money to travel.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
How did you do that?

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (25:26):
So first things first, I made sure that the majority
of the countries I was going to be traveling to
the US dollar went further, right, And so I was
already like, okay, well, if one US dollar equals three
US dollars somewhere else, right, Like, how do I make
sure that the little money I will be having stretches further.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Right?

Speaker 4 (25:44):
That means I can stay longer. That means I can
have better accommodations than I would in the States. Right,
i might be at a four star hotel in the States,
but I'm at a five star Invali because my money
goes further. So doing that research on the front end,
right and planning where I would go a little bit. Additionally,
it was in my last year on my dog program,
right when I made that decision. I pulled all them
dude moms, I said, I don't know when they're gonna

(26:06):
get it back. I'm still waiting on somebody to cancel
it all out or we're gonna do the public service. Well,
and forgiven this, I don't know what we're doing. Somebody,
You're not gonna get it all back for me, That's
what I do know. And so I was like, go
ahead and max me out. I hit up the Burstar office,
like go ahead and give me all that thing, you know,
and I just put.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
It away in savings and put a little bit in investments.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
But I was like, okay, we're just gonna put most
of this in savings, and I know not to touch it, right,
So this and the other piece of making that decision,
sticking with it, but also having financial discipline of like
this money is reserved for rest. This money not because
this thing came up, or you need a new tire
or whatever. This money is for rest, right. And so
it became my vacation fund. So I pulled as much
as I could up in the school. And what I

(26:50):
will say too is like during the gap year, right,
while I took a break of working full time, it's
still worked part time, right, So I was teaching online
which is great and allowed me. I remember I was
in Ampsteam teaching a class and it was four am
in Amsterdam, but like six pm for my students, right,
so I like I woke myself, upset my timer, and
then I went back to sleep afterwards. But I was
doing some work online which was great. And then I

(27:12):
had a couple of paid speaking engagements, so like leveraging
my degree, right of, like somebody just don't have to
pay me for my time and energy, and I can
use those funds to further rest to protect my time
and energy. So multiple pieces, right of, like figuring out
where I was gonna go, making sure that the money
strengths further, pulling out as much money as I could,
and then making money all the while so that I

(27:33):
wasn't returning with nothing, or I wasn't sitting here trying
to beg borrow and steal from family members and friends.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Like I was like, I got this, Oh I'll figure
it out.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Did you say beg borrow and steal?

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah Wait a minute, listen you
dropping bars right now?

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Hey, that is so real.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
It so you gotta keep in mind to other people
don't have it, right, Like, it's not anybody else's responsibility
to for the lifestyle you want or the vacation that
you're trying to take. And I would never ask my
parents or family or friends and be like, hey, stop
whatever you're doing so that I can go rest right,
let me use your money so that I can take
time away. Well, all the while you're working for your
own funds. No, I'm gonna figure it out. If this

(28:16):
is what I want for me, I'm gonna have to
commit to it and take some appropriate steps to get
it done.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
Oh my goodness, mic drop, Okay, let's just turn your
mic off.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Let's just turn your damn mic off.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
I love all of this because for a lot of people,
especially it's just my humble opinion. A lot of people,
especially for black women, it's this idea of you know,
I'm catching flights not feelings, and for you, you're like, Nah.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
That ain't that ain't really how I'm wired.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
I'm finna go get it. I'm finna get it out
the mud. I'm finna go get it for me. I'm
not asking anybody. I'm not begging, boring, or stealing into me.
Catching flights not feelings equates to begging, born and stealing.
Just my just my humble Okay, my my personal, professional,
humble opinion, that's what that means. And you decided not
to do that, And I'm so glad I asked a

(29:05):
question because for the listeners it's so important to hear
the backstory.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Sometimes, especially you know, with social.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Media, we just see people living this way but don't
know how they got it, and we got assumptions and
ideas and this person's this and that. And now with
you sharing your truth, your story, now we know, we
know what it takes to do that, and you did
it and it helped you in so many different ways.
And you don't owe nobody shit, you know, and even
with the government, we will never owe government, mo humble.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Think again, we're black in America. You owe us, but
give me.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
I'm still looking for my mule and forty acres. But anyway,
I'm so glad you did it, and you did it
your way. You did it your way, and that's why
this show is so important, because this show helps us
look at things from a different lens, different perspective to
figure out what works for us.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
And that's different for everybody.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
But if I'm living life based off of what I
think works for everybody, then I'm going to consume that.
But you've decided I am more important, I am more valuable.
I'm the gym, I'm the jewel.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Exactly, period, period, period.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh, I love it, get it.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
You have no idea how many lives you've changed by
sharing your story today, you have no idea. I'm telling
you what I know, not what I heard. So it's
coming back to you. I'm telling you now the flowers
are coming. So I want to switch gears. We had
to go get off the interstate for a minute, hang
out and at rest stop. Now we get back on
the road. I'm curious to know, how would you describe

(30:40):
who you were, the woman you were, who you are,
and who you are becoming. If you could have described
those three people, how would you describe?

Speaker 4 (30:47):
Okay, so the woman I was, I'd say ambitious, driven, overwhelm, overworked, overwhelmed,
trajectory focused.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Right.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
I would also say, because I don't want to give
all the bad adjectives, I was, I was a fun lover. Right,
I still did my concerts. When did things traveled a
little bit when I could the woman I am, now, Oh.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
That's interesting because I think so much of.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
That work and the gap year was trying to unlearn
who that previous version of self was, and so who
I am now. I'm still ambitious, right, I think I
am less trajectory focused, right, And part of that comes
from experience, because things still worked out even when I
was a non trajectory right and I had to learn

(31:41):
that the hard way. And so now I'm just I'm
I'm far more accepting of the flow right as things
come my way, and willing to deal with them as
they come my way. So I'm less rigid, less regimented,
more flexible. I'd say the woman I am now is
far more interest didn't rest than anything else. I think

(32:03):
the gap year spoiled me where I was like, just
wake up and do what I want, And now I'm like,
I gotta work what you mean, like schedule timelines, Like
what do you mean? My out of office email stays on,
you know what I mean? Like I'm like, I'm not here.
Even when I'm here, I'm not here, don't talk. Yeah,
And so I'm far more relaxed. I'm far more intentional

(32:27):
in taking breaks and using rest to restore myself.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
I think that's who I am right now, and I'm
loving that version of self. I think it's it's my
favorite iteration of self thus far.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I'm enjoying it.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
Yeah, And so who I want to be? How I
envision myself balanced? Right, because I think prior version of
myself was leaning far too left into the work. More
recent versions has been far too leaning away from the
work right, And so when I think of futureself, I'm like,
this person has a balance right of what it means

(33:05):
to commit to put in work, to work towards those
ambitious goals you have for yourself, but also no when
to pull back prior to being burntout, no when to
rest prior to being overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
So a person, I.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
Envision myself as a person that's balanced, and that also
means like in terms of work in life and romance
and time for family and friends. That has always been
something I struggle to navigate. I become a little bit
of extremist of like I'm all school brain, it's finals week.
Nobody talked to me, and it's like that far and
too intense, right, Like your mama still your mama even

(33:39):
when it's final this week, Like answer the phone, you
don't know what's going on, Like so that was a
previous version, and so like when I think of futureself,
it's like balance right of making time for family and
friends and making time today and have romance in life
and not just all about work, not just all about
the research and the jobs and things that fulfill that
professional role. Like someone that that is interested in and

(34:03):
actively engaging and balancing the numerous rolls in front of her.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah. Oh man, that's beautiful. I feel like I'm just
watching the flower bloom, like I.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Remember our first conversation to where we are right now, Like,
oh my god, it's a whole bouquet.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Okay, it's not even one flowers, I hope bouquy. So
next question, I'm.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Curious expensive bouquet.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
Come on now, come on, gold rolls, pedals. Okay, Oh,
I love it.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I love it so in thirty years, because you've lived
about eight lives in thirty years.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Okay, I agree.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
I'm curious to know out of all these years, especially
with your last season in your doc program, specifically because
we've talked, we had conversations about this, but in addition
to that, out of all these years, what would you
say you learned about other people?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (35:01):
Okay, So that's a beautiful question, particularly like as an
Adlerian right, where I'm like views of others. Okay, so
I would say what I've learned about other people on
a global perspective, right, even from traveling, it's like people
are really just trying to do their best every day.

(35:22):
A lot of people are just trying to do their best.
And during the last year of my dog program, it's
like people. I also learned that not everybody's.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Intentional with you.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
Right, And so whether their actions or you know, thoughts
or behaviors are impacting you, maybe it's intentional, maybe it's not.
Maybe they didn't have you in mind when they were
doing whatever they were doing. Maybe they weren't thinking about
how you'd receive a certain email or how you respond
to a certain thing that they needed to do for them.
They didn't have you in mind. And that's okay, Right,

(35:55):
It's not everyone's job to think about me, Right. I
can expect a certain level of human decency for sure, Right,
Let's not let that go out the window. But also,
people have their own lives and their own things that
they're navigating, their own challenges, and so any type of
malicious behavior, any type of negative experience I have with

(36:15):
another person, has so much more to do with them
and where they're at, and less to do with me
and where I'm at, And so learn to receive folks
intentions or the lack of intentionality, for what exactly it is.
And at the end of the day, people are doing
their best, and that can look different for different folks,

(36:37):
and you might have different expectations of different people. That's
a lot to put on everyone else, and so I've
actively learned to stop doing that, to stop hurting my
own feelings and having those expectations of other people who
were or were not being intentional with me and have
their own stuff going on.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Oh my goodness, bouquet gold rose pedals. Okay, that's what
we gold roll, and I ain't talking about yellow. I'm
talking about literal dip thing.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Gold, all the carrots, all of it.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
I am here for all of this. You have no idea.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
You have no idea how happy I am of all
of this, Okay, because I was there. I was in
the passenger seat with you on this road to what
the hell.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
You were the whole way, and I'm sure there were
moments on that journey where you were like, one day
she'll get this right, and like one day she'll get
those lessons.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
And part of me yes, and the other side was like,
you don't deserve this.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Oh yeah, you don't deserve it. That was the that
was like big brother, you know, big brother, what the hell?
What y'all Doing'm a girl down there? Wait a minute,
talking about do I need to catch a flight? And
not some feelings like.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Right, and so yeah to that point.

Speaker 4 (37:54):
Right, it's like there are things that come up in
life right where you're like this isn't for me, or
this isn't a part of my journey and you're like
why me, right? Why is this happening to me? And
part of those lessons were like, eh, it's not because
of you. Right, So relinquishing the involvement of self in
relation to other people's actions has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
And this mindset because this is Empire Building and for
the new listeners, Empire Building. All of us are on
different floors at different times, and what I'm hearing for
you is out of a twenty story floor building. You're
on the twentieth floor. Your perspective is very different. You
see things on a very high level. People on the
third floor, fourth floor can't see what you see, and
what I see because.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
We're on the same floors. Come home church.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
Is therapy, self reflection, self awareness, journal, Like you have
done the work that it takes to have the perspective
that you have to recognize. You said a quote and
I'm putting this somewhere everywhere. It's not everyone's job to
think about me like that is some powerful stuff that

(39:03):
a lot of people has never said or thought of,
because it's the thought of you're supposed to think about me,
and you recognize, Ah, that ain't the game. Yeah, that's growth.
And big shout out to your therapist, big shout out
to you, big shout out.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
Yeah I will so I will know too. Like to
that point, everyone's not supposed to think about me, but
the people I actively choose to be in community with
me should be right right, faculty members or colleagues or
whomever else, not necessarily my chosen community versus mentors, versus
friends versus family members I'm close to. If you're actively

(39:42):
in my community and I'm actively in yours, right, So
it's reciprocal in that way of like I check in
on you, you checking on me. Then yeah, there is a
level of care and expectation. Even though we're supposed to
relinquish some of those for people when we make choices
on who's in our community. Yeah, they should be looking
out for us. Yeah, they should having our best interest
in mind when they're acting in relation to us. Everyone else,

(40:04):
no expectations.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Wow, listen, if this is what, if this is what
going to nine countries do for you?

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Listen, y'all need to get it there to the listeners, get.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
Your therapist yet, start now for next year, starting now. Yeah,
because you are speaking so much factual information.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
It's facts, it's evidence.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
You have evidence, which is why you can stand on
it and you standing on business ten toes down with
some gold rose pedals. So next piece before we close out,
because we can do this all day, you know, how
we get down. I'm curious to know what's a word, phrase, memory,
or moment that has stuck with you personally or professionally.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Mmmm, that's a wonderful question. Interesting.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Okay, I'm like, my mind is going through the gamut
of all of them, like, huh, what has really stuck
with me? Okay, So professionally, this was the summer of
twenty twenty, right, so we're in the pandemic and I
had a person I was working on a research paper

(41:11):
with and they were expecting a portion of the research
paper from me, a draft of like the analysis section
or whatever. And I was and I was set to
be like second author on this paper, and I was
really excited, and it was one of my first manuscripts,
all the things. And then my grandpa passed right during
the pandemic because of COVID, and I hadn't anticipated his

(41:34):
death rocking me the way that it did. But loss
is loss, and the way that we grieve looks different.
And so for me, I know, in times of overwhelming
and enough stress, I unplug right, computers off, phones off,
I'm not talking to anybody, I'm not doing any work.
I need to exist in the feelings and just be right.

(41:54):
And so that led me to getting the draft to
this person late. I emailed them to say, hey, person
in my family just died. Can't get this draft to
you by the intended deadline? Can I have an extension?
That email somehow never got to them, and so they
hit me back and they were like, yeah, you're so
unprofessional and like you, I'm demoting you on this paper.

(42:19):
You're not doing this work and we expected this from you.
You're unprofessional. And I was like, whoa, whoa, Like you
don't even know what's going on, right, and you're sitting
here trying to tell me who I am, right and
how my career will go and what my professional looks
like and how that'll follow me in the field and

(42:41):
all these things when you don't even know the backstory.
And that stuck with me for multiple reasons. One because
I hurt my feelings, right, and I was like, dang,
like I really first of all, I really wanted to
be like second author, right, Authorship looks great when you're
trying to like do things in the field and blah
blah blah. And so I was like, dang, like I
had been doing all this work up until this point,
but you're willing to demote me, so to speak, because

(43:03):
I wasn't able to do one thing for you right
in the specific time. It's not that I'll never do it,
it's that I can't get it to you by Wednesday.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah, give me till next Wednesday. Right.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
So that was one thing. But then secondly, it suck
with me because it reminds me that once I started
to get into different positions of powers. So when I'm
leading papers right, or when I'm someone's faculty member. Giving
grace is so essential. We don't know what's happening with people.
We don't know what they have going on in their world,
and making assumptions, jumping to conclusions. Even if you know

(43:36):
we're missing a deadline or something's behind or whatever, things
aren't panting out how we plan them to be. Grace
is still important. Race is still necessary for everyone, not
just folks who are doc students, not just other colleagues
who are on our field. Graces should be given to
the person at the grocery store, to your next door neighbor,
everybody you encounter, because we don't know what's going on.

(43:58):
And so that moment taught me a lot, both professionally
and personally. It carried over right to know that I
need to be extending grace in professional settings and in
personal settings. But also it also reminds me of like
who not to work with.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Right.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
All opportunities are not good opportunities. Everything that comes your
way you don't have to take. And everybody who's in
a position of power doesn't deserve to have power over you.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
My goodness, a word, listeners, y'all just got hit in
the head with a honeybun because it's soft and it's
still assault.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
So you thank you for sharing all of this.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
And I'm curious because I don't want to assume I'm assuming,
Well I am assuming. I'm sorry, I'm assuming, but I'm curious.
Was that particular person a counselor educator?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Yeah? Yeah, it be your own people.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
It be your own people.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
And I want the reason I asked it again, that
was my assumption, that's my thought, that's who it was,
but you just confirmed it. This goes back to what
you shared earlier about you know, people are doing the
best they can what they have basically, and we have
an expectation as helping professionals and our story and our
journey to get here, we want to just serve and
help and mentor we just want to do all the

(45:14):
things because of how hard it was for us to
get here.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
So that's an.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Expectation we have that other people have the same passion.
And you were met with that resistance of oh, this
ain't one I thought it was, and what it actually is,
I'm not a fan of it, and I'm so glad
you shared this and for the listeners this these are
the moments that you have to again taking note of

(45:41):
paying attention to, because hurt people, specifically hurt helping professionals,
hurt helping professionals, And that's exactly what happened. The difference
is you, doctor Jones, took that experience and used it
to enhance your else and the people that you're gonna

(46:02):
connect with that you haven't even met yet, that you're
definitely gonna meet after this episode you because they already
know what they canna get.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
They already know you already.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Sold it, like you already know whatever it costs, yet
I'll pay it because I already know what I'm getting. Yeah,
you've already proven you the shit. Come on, come on,
you already proved it. What are we talking about here?
So I'm so glad you shared it. I'm so glad
you persevered beyond that experience and on the behalf of
great helping professionals who are doing great work. I apologize

(46:34):
on the behalf of the horrible ones, because you'll never
get that apology from them.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
We'll take mine instead.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
I appreciate that. Thank you all day, all.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Day, all day, all right, two more, and we're gonna
get out of here because you got to do catching flights,
not feelings. Okay, all right, yes I'm talking about though.
For those of you, Cydebar, for those of you who
do catch flights and feelings and you know, trying to
get fluid out.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
These are moments.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
I really want you to look into the basement of
these moments.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Because doctor Jones gave me a nugget of big borrow instilling,
and I feel as though those three keys can impact
us in every area of our life if we're.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Not paying attention to it. That's my disclaimer. I'm gonna
shut up.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Okay, next piece, What is it interesting fact about yourself
or something about you that people wouldn't believe?

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Hmm interesting?

Speaker 4 (47:28):
Okay, interesting fact about myself? Oh I've been to more
than two hundred concerts.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
I love live I love live music. That is one
of those spaces where I feel like the most alive,
right intact thing, particularly when there's like a live band
behind the artists right. And so most recently I went
I saw Stevie Wonder on tour, which was amazing and
something I didn't think I was gonna be able to
do during my lifetime or during his lifetime, right, and
so I saw Stevie Wanta recently, but that was I

(47:59):
think like my two under an eighth concert.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
So yeah, I love a tour if you have it,
if you haven't. Because we're gonna go a little further.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
I'm curious your top three if you were to give
to the top three experiences of concert after two hundred
top three experiences B for.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Sure, Okay, So.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
I'll do it in order at least the greatest, right,
So number three, I would say would be Drake, even
though he's in.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Hot water right now. I love Kendrake.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
Rake put on a show and that was one of
those I got a last minute ticket and I ended
up like front row floor seats, like for under twohundred bucks,
and so I was like, this is great, and like
when you just make eye contact with the artists, it's
just like one of those things. And so I'll never
forget Drake look at me squaring eyes and me being
like normal people would have faints. But I'm good, I'm

(48:57):
a j I'm good. Right, So Drake was number three.
That was a good one. Number two would be hmm,
I'm between my one and my two. That's interesting.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Uh hm.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
Number two would probably be Usher in Vegas. Right, that's
more recent as well, but that was a show like
that was like a and Usher was the first CD
I ever owned, Right, I was like first grade playing
on my CD player with the headphones on and my
brother's basketball practices. That's how I stayed entertained. And so
my parents probably should not have let me have an

(49:36):
Usher City at seven, but like that's what I was doing,
and so learn the words and like just to see
it live. This artist of like my lifetime, right, like
so good and then number one. All right, I'll make
a really long story short. Senior year of high school. Uh,
the Super Bowl was in Indianapolis, and my favorite artist

(49:58):
at the time was Walle Rapper and he came to Indianapolis,
but he was performing at a club and I was
not twenty one. I was eighteen, and they don't play that.
So I was like, okay, I'm not going the following Monday.
So after superwol Sunday, he was performing at Detroit, which
is about five hours away from me. Bought a ticket
with my high school earnings. Like I was like, I
bought a ticket. Mind, you didn't have a car, didn't

(50:20):
have a license. This thing is five hours away, and
so I'm like, hey, Mom, what youre doing on Monday girl?
And she was like working, Why what are you? You're
going to school? What are you talking about? I was like, so,
I just bought this ticket to this concertinat Detroit.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Can you take me?

Speaker 4 (50:37):
And my mom having raised me, knowing that like I
never did this senior ditch day, never got in any trouble,
didn't do anything like, didn't sneak out past curfew.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
I was a good eat two shoe. She was like, yeah, that.

Speaker 4 (50:48):
So she drove me to Detroit and I just like
I sat at the cont Like she didn't like the artist,
so she was like chilling in the car.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
We have family Detroit. She went to go see my
uncle in.

Speaker 4 (50:56):
Detroit, and I was front rode at the concert and
that was actually a concert. I got pulled on stage
right and so like I got to meet my favorite
artists and wrap bar for bar with them, look them
in the eye, and got to be on stage with
my favorite artists at the time. And my mom was
down for it. And then we drove back. We're driving back,
it's like two am. We get back to Indianapolis at

(51:17):
seven am, and I was said where are we going?
She was like, oh, we're going home so you can
show and go to school. Like you still got responsibility,
says we let you have your fun, but like we're
not going to be missing school now. So it was
one of those moments where I was like, Yeah, my
mom is my road dog, and also just an amazing
moment with the artists.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Big shout out to Mom Dukes, big shout out to mama.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
Oh that's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that,
oh Man music.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
Three things, in my opinion, three things that connects us
number one belief, number two music, number three food. Those
three things will connect human beings on different levels. So
last question, thank you for sharing that that piece. Music
is connected to this podcast as well. So for those
who don't know, there is a Three Parallels podcast playlist

(52:08):
and there will be new songs added to that playlist
that Doctor Jones will be sharing with us. So dive
into the playlist and know that there's a story for
every song. So when you hear Usher, when you hear
wal A, don't say wally Be wondering Beyonce because yep,
throwing her in there, you already know there's somebody that
connects to that and your story, your living experience is

(52:29):
what I love, that connects us. So last thing is
on this show we offer life work. Life work is
a little different from homework. Homework, take it home, you
do it, turn it in, you never remember it again.
Life work, taking home, you do it, your life will change.
So if you can offer a keepsake to the audience,
to the listeners, some life work, something that they can
do to pivot to shift, what would it.

Speaker 4 (52:48):
Be, Mmmm, say no, honey, buy honey right upside their head. Yeah,
say no, go ahead and tell them no that there
the opportunity that's for you will come around. The timeline
that's meant for you to be on will come around
in this moment. If you're tired, if you need rest,

(53:11):
even if you don't need rest, say no.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
That's beautiful. And last time I checked, no, it was
a complete sentence. You don't.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
It is no expounding upon it. No, it is no.
That's it.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Oh, one time for some boundaries, What time for some
great boundaries? Okay? Bouquet of roses dipped and gold period,
Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Okay, So this has been a blessing to me. I
don't know about y'all that's listening. But I have been blessed.
You have blessed me. So for those who also have
been blessed by you. If people want to get in contact,
want to give you some flowers dipped and go what
do want to get you fluid out?

Speaker 1 (53:52):
They can do that.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Whatever it is. How can people get in contact with you?

Speaker 4 (53:56):
Yeah? So first I have social media. It is at
b underscore well w E L L underscore Janelle j
A N E L E. That's my Instagram handle for
my professional counsel account. The personal one is personal, we
keep it personal, but the professional one that's boundaries exactly.

(54:17):
The professional one is there. I can also be reached
by email. J Jones, Counsel Educator at gmail dot com.
Folks that want to reach out, if you want me
to come and speak, I can do that. Any other
opportunities if you feel like flying somebody out, welcome to that.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
But yeah, those are two ways to get in touch.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
Okay, we talking about keynote personal, personal trainer, coach, therapist,
counselor educate. Everything she does it, okay, so whatever you need,
she does it.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
It don't matter what it is. Bakally doing that.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
So before we close out any final thoughts, anything you
want to leave the list the audience with before we
get out of here.

Speaker 4 (54:52):
I'm really appreciative of the opportunity to be here and
like so thankful that this podcast exists. I'm super proud
of you, right because you're out here living dreams and
helping other people live theres as well and supporting folks
along the way, and that's so beautiful. So just thank
you for your mentorship, for your support, for your presence,
and I am wishing nothing but the best for you.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
I appreciate all of that, and I accept my flowers.
I have no problems. That's what gators do.

Speaker 4 (55:20):
So and platinum and I got a necklace made period.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Rockefeller chain and got nothing on this one.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
So this has been another another classic, phenomenal episode of
the Three Parallels podcasts with your hosts the Doctor Jason Branch.
Will we rediscover who we once were, to create some
distance between who we are now and who we once were,
to see ourselves for who we can be and embrace
this current space to become the best version of us.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Period.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
You heard your instructions, you heard the challenge, you heard
the life work practice saying no. If any of the
information shared in this podcast episode today has been a
blessing to you, do not keep it to yourself, give
it away, share it, share the story, share the truth.
If this hits you, hit somebody else with it. Okay,
do not keep it like, share, comment, subscribe, whatever it

(56:14):
is that you need.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
To do to keep this energy going.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Because I believe in the ripple effect, the ripple effect
you pull, you throw one pebble in the pond is
going to impact the entire ripple, the entire pond, and
everything else around it. Our job is just put is
to throw the pebble in the pond. This episode was
us throwing the pebble in the pond, and we invited
y'all in because we do this shit every week. Ah

(56:38):
much love, have a great day, have a great morning, afternoon, evening,
weekend life, whatever it is,