July 6, 2025 • 12 mins
In this episode of A Woman’s Playbook for Dating, we’re swapping player positions for field positions — breaking down what different parts of the football field represent in the world of dating. Whether you’re stuck at the 50-yard line in the “talking stage,” pacing the sideline in a situationship, or one yard from the end zone wondering what’s taking so long, this episode is your map for knowing where you stand — and how to move forward with clarity and confidence.Because dating isn’t just about who you're seeing — it’s about where you’re standing on the field. And today, we’re calling plays that get you into the end zone.
What You’ll Learn:
🗣️ DM us or email womensplaybook4dating@gmail.com with your dating dilemmas — you might be featured in a future “coach’s challenge”!
⭐ Leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts — it helps more MVP women like you find the playbook.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
What You’ll Learn:
- How the 50-yard line represents early-stage situations that feel like more than they are
- Why the Red Zone can be a trap if you confuse proximity with progress
- What to do when you're stuck at the Goal Line with someone scared of commitment
- How the Sideline shows up in situationships — and how to get off the bench
- Why the End Line isn't failure, but an opportunity to reset
- How hitting the Goal Posts (small wins, strong boundaries) builds momentum
- If you don’t know where you stand on the field, you can’t move the ball forward.
- Don’t confuse activity with progress — proximity to the end zone isn’t the same as scoring.
- Walking away from the wrong field is often the strongest play you’ll ever call.
- Field goals count too — protect your peace, enforce your standards, and celebrate every step.
🗣️ DM us or email womensplaybook4dating@gmail.com with your dating dilemmas — you might be featured in a future “coach’s challenge”!
⭐ Leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts — it helps more MVP women like you find the playbook.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook for Dating, where I
break down the game of love using football, strategy, honesty,
and sisterhood. I'm your host, Shavon Lee. I am your
part coach, part hype woman, and your teammate on the
field of dating. In today's episode, we're getting strategic about
one thing, the field, because where you are on the
(00:26):
field can tell you everything about where things are going.
And if you don't know your position or your partner's position,
you might think you're scoring when you're actually you're stuck
at the fifty yard line. So let's walk the field together,
yard line by yard line, end zone to sideline. We're
breaking down what each section on the field really means
(00:48):
in dating and how to make sure you're not just
playing the game, but sis you're winning it. That's what
I want for you. Let's go ahead and get the
game started, all right. So we're starting at the center
of the field. This is the fifty yard line, and
this is called the talking stage. When it comes to dating.
(01:09):
You've matched, maybe you met online, maybe you met out
in IRL the real life, and you exchange numbers. Maybe
you've already grabbed coffee and you hit maybe a cute
little happy hour or two. But friend, you're still in
the middle of the field. Now, it's not bad here.
I'm not saying that you're at the stage where you're
(01:30):
still learning, you're still observing. But this is where a
lot of women make the mistake of getting emotionally invested
before the guys even moved the ball forward. So just
slow down, slow your road a little bit. Does he
text DELI, Okay, fine, that you know that's baseline, But
has he made consistent efforts towards the end zone? Okay?
(01:53):
So what I'm talking about is real partnership here. Being
stuck on the fifty yard line feels fun until you
realize that the scoreboard isn't moving and that you're just
stuck here. So how are we advancing? That's what we
really want to keep an eye on before we invest
too much of our time emotions and just get wrapped
(02:15):
up him. I know it can just seem so good
at the fifty yard line, but we have to make
sure the ball is advancing. The next field position we're
going to talk about is the red zone. Now, this
is the last twenty yards before the end zone. This
is where things start to feel a little serious. We're
getting serious here. He may have introduced you to some
(02:37):
of his friends or family, you may have had sleepover to,
You may be spending the weekends together, but maybe something
still missing. Well, now, this is the danger of the
zone where men can stall out. One of the things
when I was first learning about the NFL football in
(02:57):
the game is about the red zone. And one of
the lines that I heard from the person who was
teaching me was all about red zone efficiency. The red
zone is where games are one or lost. So when
it comes to dating, they may like you, they may
enjoy the intimacy, but they may not be ready to score.
(03:21):
Some even keep you here exactly on purpose because it
feels like progress. But it's really just circling the goal line.
It's not actually making it into the end zone. We're
just getting really close. But it can stall out and
you can lose the game or you can win the
game in the red zone. Now, if you've been in
(03:42):
the red zone for a few weeks or a few
months with no clarity, no commitment, my friend, you need
to call a time out. I need you to ask
are we actually going to score? Or am I being
played for filled position? So I need you to go
ahead and let me know and have that courageous conversation.
It's not always an easy conversation because you might not
(04:04):
hear the answer, or they may not be comfortable or
even know what they want, but you have to ask
that question. Moving on, let's go ahead and talk about
the goal line. This is just inches from the end zone. Now,
this is where the moment of truth happens. Are we
(04:25):
about to make it official? Oh? My god, is this happening?
Are we committing or are we going to fumble the
ball right before the finish line? Oh? That's so frustrating.
It's frustrating to watch when I'm watching games, and it's
even more like h mind blowing when it is in
(04:46):
the game of love. So here's what happens too far.
Often a woman assumes being close to the goal means
a touchdown is coming, like ah, get out the like
pom bombs, like cue the music is happening. A touchdown
is so imminent. But this is also where the game
can flip, especially if you ignore red flags because you're
(05:10):
so close. Let me be clear. If a man is
afraid to cross the goal line, that is not your failure.
That is his fear and sis. You don't have the
time to sit on the one yard line for someone
who's scared to score. So we need that person that's
going to not just get right at the end zone,
(05:33):
right at the one yard line. We need someone that's
willing to take us across and score and that leads
us into touchdown the end zone. This is all about clarity, commitment,
mutual effort, and it doesn't mean perfection. I'm not saying that,
(05:56):
but it does mean security. You have secured the my friend.
What does this look like in dating? This is when
he shows up consistently. You feel safe, you feel seen.
There's alignment, and not just in Instagram captions, but in
real life actions on the field. Let me say it
(06:17):
louder for all my friends in the back or maybe
you didn't hear me. The end zone is not just
about getting a title. It's about finding someone who is
playing the game with you and not against you. You
don't celebrate just because he called you his girlfriend. No, no, no,
You celebrate because he earned the relationship with real plays.
(06:41):
No premature celebrating. We want the real I have scored,
I have secured that bag. This is bay and it's
an earned position. It's an earned a title. So those
are the positions on the field. But I do want
to talk about the sideline. Let's go ahead and get
into that. Have you ever been here? I am. I'm
(07:02):
always going to keep it real on this podcast with everybody.
I've been on the sideline myself. So it's okay if
you're raising your hand right now while you're listening to this.
This is where the sideline is, where you're not officially
in the game with the guy, but he's texting you
just enough to keep you invested, just enough to keep
(07:23):
you interested. We call this bread crumbing as well. Maybe
he says, God, you're amazing, but you know, I'm just
not ready. He may like your posts, and he may
pop up every few weeks. God knows, I have had
my share of these pop ups. He's keeping you on
the sideline, my friend, again, breadcrumbing. He's keeping you just
(07:46):
close enough to reach out or just far enough to
avoid actual commitment. And here's the worst part. You start
thinking you're still playing the game with him when actually
you've been benched for weeks. So, my friend, do not
accept this. Do not be sideline. Here is your play.
(08:06):
I need you to get up, walk off the turf,
change teams if you have to, which means changing your uniform,
changing your whole strategy. And you are not a reverse player,
so we're not going back to this. There's no comeback
routes to us in this, so that is the game plan.
No sideline chicks over here. Our final note in our
(08:29):
playbook for today is about the end zone. Now this
is out of bounds and it means that the play
is dead. This is when the tech stop or maybe
the situationship drags on with no direction and you're just
emotionally exhausted, tireed of all of it, whatever it is.
(08:49):
The relationship has exited the field. This is your chance
to stop replaying the film and start a new season.
It's okay to start a again. This is where growth happens.
This is where strength happens. Sometimes the most powerful move
is not a touchdown. It's a time out, a reset,
(09:12):
and sometimes that means a new draft pick for your roster.
A bonus note before we go ahead and wrap things
up is I want to talk about goal post. This
is the symbol of what you're kicking for and what
you're aiming for. Those are those right in the end zone.
They're usually like yellow. It's where they kick the ball
through when there's a touchdown. So every time that you
(09:35):
enforce a boundary, say no to confusion or choose yourself
over crumbs. That is a field goal. It may not
be the final touchdown, but baby, it's points on the board.
You may get your extra point, you may get your
three points, but the goal, that field goal is the goal.
(09:57):
And guess what you know, Phil goes win games too.
Some of the best games I've ever watched have been
down to the wire with a field gold. So just
keep that in mind as well. So here's your takeaway
from today's episode. It's not just about who you're dating,
(10:19):
it's about where you are on the field as well.
So think about this. Are you stuck at midfield with
a sweet talker that's that fifty yard line we were
talking about, Or are you circling the red zone with
a commitment fobe. We don't want that, no, ma'am. Or
are you standing in the end zone with your arms
(10:41):
raised finally getting what you deserve? Now wherever you are,
my friend, I want you to own it, read the
field and never forget you are the franchise player. That's
what I want for you, my love. All right, now,
that's all for this week's a Woman's Playbook for Dating.
(11:02):
In this episode, I hope that it helped you to
locate yourself on the field. And if it did, please
send it to a friend who needs a game plan too,
And don't forget to tag us on Instagram at a
Woman's Playbook for Dating and go ahead and drop me
a note. Where are you currently standing in your relationship
on the field? All right? Friend? Please share this podcast
(11:24):
with a friend, a sister, an auntie, a coworker, a neighbor,
maybe that friend at the nel salon, anyone you think
that could benefit from taking their dating life to the
next level. Until next time, I'm headed into the locker
room to just get ready for next week's episode, and
I look forward to seeing you there
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook for Dating, where I
break down the game of love using football, strategy, honesty,
and sisterhood. I'm your host, Shavon Lee. I am your
part coach, part hype woman, and your teammate on the
field of dating. In today's episode, we're getting strategic about
one thing, the field, because where you are on the
(00:26):
field can tell you everything about where things are going.
And if you don't know your position or your partner's position,
you might think you're scoring when you're actually you're stuck
at the fifty yard line. So let's walk the field together,
yard line by yard line, end zone to sideline. We're
breaking down what each section on the field really means
(00:48):
in dating and how to make sure you're not just
playing the game, but sis you're winning it. That's what
I want for you. Let's go ahead and get the
game started, all right. So we're starting at the center
of the field. This is the fifty yard line, and
this is called the talking stage. When it comes to dating.
(01:09):
You've matched, maybe you met online, maybe you met out
in IRL the real life, and you exchange numbers. Maybe
you've already grabbed coffee and you hit maybe a cute
little happy hour or two. But friend, you're still in
the middle of the field. Now, it's not bad here.
I'm not saying that you're at the stage where you're
(01:30):
still learning, you're still observing. But this is where a
lot of women make the mistake of getting emotionally invested
before the guys even moved the ball forward. So just
slow down, slow your road a little bit. Does he
text DELI, Okay, fine, that you know that's baseline, But
has he made consistent efforts towards the end zone? Okay?
(01:53):
So what I'm talking about is real partnership here. Being
stuck on the fifty yard line feels fun until you
realize that the scoreboard isn't moving and that you're just
stuck here. So how are we advancing? That's what we
really want to keep an eye on before we invest
too much of our time emotions and just get wrapped
(02:15):
up him. I know it can just seem so good
at the fifty yard line, but we have to make
sure the ball is advancing. The next field position we're
going to talk about is the red zone. Now, this
is the last twenty yards before the end zone. This
is where things start to feel a little serious. We're
getting serious here. He may have introduced you to some
(02:37):
of his friends or family, you may have had sleepover to,
You may be spending the weekends together, but maybe something
still missing. Well, now, this is the danger of the
zone where men can stall out. One of the things
when I was first learning about the NFL football in
(02:57):
the game is about the red zone. And one of
the lines that I heard from the person who was
teaching me was all about red zone efficiency. The red
zone is where games are one or lost. So when
it comes to dating, they may like you, they may
enjoy the intimacy, but they may not be ready to score.
(03:21):
Some even keep you here exactly on purpose because it
feels like progress. But it's really just circling the goal line.
It's not actually making it into the end zone. We're
just getting really close. But it can stall out and
you can lose the game or you can win the
game in the red zone. Now, if you've been in
(03:42):
the red zone for a few weeks or a few
months with no clarity, no commitment, my friend, you need
to call a time out. I need you to ask
are we actually going to score? Or am I being
played for filled position? So I need you to go
ahead and let me know and have that courageous conversation.
It's not always an easy conversation because you might not
(04:04):
hear the answer, or they may not be comfortable or
even know what they want, but you have to ask
that question. Moving on, let's go ahead and talk about
the goal line. This is just inches from the end zone. Now,
this is where the moment of truth happens. Are we
(04:25):
about to make it official? Oh? My god, is this happening?
Are we committing or are we going to fumble the
ball right before the finish line? Oh? That's so frustrating.
It's frustrating to watch when I'm watching games, and it's
even more like h mind blowing when it is in
(04:46):
the game of love. So here's what happens too far.
Often a woman assumes being close to the goal means
a touchdown is coming, like ah, get out the like
pom bombs, like cue the music is happening. A touchdown
is so imminent. But this is also where the game
can flip, especially if you ignore red flags because you're
(05:10):
so close. Let me be clear. If a man is
afraid to cross the goal line, that is not your failure.
That is his fear and sis. You don't have the
time to sit on the one yard line for someone
who's scared to score. So we need that person that's
going to not just get right at the end zone,
(05:33):
right at the one yard line. We need someone that's
willing to take us across and score and that leads
us into touchdown the end zone. This is all about clarity, commitment,
mutual effort, and it doesn't mean perfection. I'm not saying that,
(05:56):
but it does mean security. You have secured the my friend.
What does this look like in dating? This is when
he shows up consistently. You feel safe, you feel seen.
There's alignment, and not just in Instagram captions, but in
real life actions on the field. Let me say it
(06:17):
louder for all my friends in the back or maybe
you didn't hear me. The end zone is not just
about getting a title. It's about finding someone who is
playing the game with you and not against you. You
don't celebrate just because he called you his girlfriend. No, no, no,
You celebrate because he earned the relationship with real plays.
(06:41):
No premature celebrating. We want the real I have scored,
I have secured that bag. This is bay and it's
an earned position. It's an earned a title. So those
are the positions on the field. But I do want
to talk about the sideline. Let's go ahead and get
into that. Have you ever been here? I am. I'm
(07:02):
always going to keep it real on this podcast with everybody.
I've been on the sideline myself. So it's okay if
you're raising your hand right now while you're listening to this.
This is where the sideline is, where you're not officially
in the game with the guy, but he's texting you
just enough to keep you invested, just enough to keep
(07:23):
you interested. We call this bread crumbing as well. Maybe
he says, God, you're amazing, but you know, I'm just
not ready. He may like your posts, and he may
pop up every few weeks. God knows, I have had
my share of these pop ups. He's keeping you on
the sideline, my friend, again, breadcrumbing. He's keeping you just
(07:46):
close enough to reach out or just far enough to
avoid actual commitment. And here's the worst part. You start
thinking you're still playing the game with him when actually
you've been benched for weeks. So, my friend, do not
accept this. Do not be sideline. Here is your play.
(08:06):
I need you to get up, walk off the turf,
change teams if you have to, which means changing your uniform,
changing your whole strategy. And you are not a reverse player,
so we're not going back to this. There's no comeback
routes to us in this, so that is the game plan.
No sideline chicks over here. Our final note in our
(08:29):
playbook for today is about the end zone. Now this
is out of bounds and it means that the play
is dead. This is when the tech stop or maybe
the situationship drags on with no direction and you're just
emotionally exhausted, tireed of all of it, whatever it is.
(08:49):
The relationship has exited the field. This is your chance
to stop replaying the film and start a new season.
It's okay to start a again. This is where growth happens.
This is where strength happens. Sometimes the most powerful move
is not a touchdown. It's a time out, a reset,
(09:12):
and sometimes that means a new draft pick for your roster.
A bonus note before we go ahead and wrap things
up is I want to talk about goal post. This
is the symbol of what you're kicking for and what
you're aiming for. Those are those right in the end zone.
They're usually like yellow. It's where they kick the ball
through when there's a touchdown. So every time that you
(09:35):
enforce a boundary, say no to confusion or choose yourself
over crumbs. That is a field goal. It may not
be the final touchdown, but baby, it's points on the board.
You may get your extra point, you may get your
three points, but the goal, that field goal is the goal.
(09:57):
And guess what you know, Phil goes win games too.
Some of the best games I've ever watched have been
down to the wire with a field gold. So just
keep that in mind as well. So here's your takeaway
from today's episode. It's not just about who you're dating,
(10:19):
it's about where you are on the field as well.
So think about this. Are you stuck at midfield with
a sweet talker that's that fifty yard line we were
talking about, Or are you circling the red zone with
a commitment fobe. We don't want that, no, ma'am. Or
are you standing in the end zone with your arms
(10:41):
raised finally getting what you deserve? Now wherever you are,
my friend, I want you to own it, read the
field and never forget you are the franchise player. That's
what I want for you, my love. All right, now,
that's all for this week's a Woman's Playbook for Dating.
(11:02):
In this episode, I hope that it helped you to
locate yourself on the field. And if it did, please
send it to a friend who needs a game plan too,
And don't forget to tag us on Instagram at a
Woman's Playbook for Dating and go ahead and drop me
a note. Where are you currently standing in your relationship
on the field? All right? Friend? Please share this podcast
(11:24):
with a friend, a sister, an auntie, a coworker, a neighbor,
maybe that friend at the nel salon, anyone you think
that could benefit from taking their dating life to the
next level. Until next time, I'm headed into the locker
room to just get ready for next week's episode, and
I look forward to seeing you there
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