Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome back, ladies, to a Woman's Playbook for Dating, where
we decode dating using football strategy, face, honesty, and a
whole lot of self respect. I'm your host, Shavon Lee,
your teammate and heels or cleats. And today we're talking
about a term that we throw around a lot on
this show, the franchise player. What are we talking about?
(00:26):
Will we say franchise player? Let's go ahead and break
it down. What actually makes someone a franchise player when
it comes to dating? And more importantly, how do you
know if he or she deserves that level of commitment
Because too many of us are out here handing out
long term contracts to bench warmers and practice squad types
(00:47):
while the real MVPs go well undrafted. Let's go ahead
and fix that. Let's draft smarter. Let's talk about franchise
player energy. So what really is a franchise player in
the NFL. A franchise player is the one you build
(01:07):
your team around. He's consistent, committed, loyal, and proven under pressure.
He doesn't just play well, he shows up year after year.
He's valuable, sometimes invaluable. He's dependable and worth the investment,
and believe me, teams play big money for their franchise players,
and in dating it's the same thing. A franchise player
(01:31):
is the person who adds to your life without subtracting
from your piece. He's not just consistent in the good times,
he's grounded in the hard times. So if you're asking
is he a franchise player, here's what you need to
ask yourself first. Can I build something real with him?
Does he lead with actions not just words? And is
(01:51):
he in it for the long game or is this
just one season or two? Wondering do franchise players always
score the most not necessarily not every guy who scores
early is a franchise player or has franchise material. Franchise
status is not about who texts you the longest good
(02:15):
morning paragraphs. God knows, I've had my share of those.
Or it's not about who takes you on the bougiest dates.
Now I do love me a bougie date, let's not
get that twisted. But that doesn't necessarily equate to the
franchise player. And it also isn't about who love bombs
you in one week. Oh my god, that can be
(02:37):
exhausting as well. Those are rookie plays. If there's no
consistency behind them. Notice that I said, if there's not
any consistency behind them, somebody that wants to take you
on a bougie date all four a babe. If someone
wants to love bomb you and buy you everything in
the first week and tell you all the flashy things, fine,
(02:57):
But if this is not consistent, I might have to
look twice. A real franchise player isn't playing for highlight reels.
He's playing for legacy. What this means is that there's
integrity when no one's watching. You don't have to second
guess what his motives are. He has respect for your boundaries,
(03:18):
and there's accountability when things get tough. And lastly, there's
a willingness to grow, not just impress. Again, this guy
is in it for the long game. There's a second.
Let's talk seven signs that you have yourself a franchise
(03:38):
player on your hands. I'm gonna go ahead and put
it into a checklist. And if you're wondering whether he's
the real deal, ask yourself if he does the following.
Number One, does he show up consistently, not just when
it's convenient. Number two, does he listen and adapt? Because
(04:00):
this emotional intelligence is better than an ego. Anyone that
can level set themselves all for it. Number three? Does
he respect your boundaries without negotiation? I can say so
much more about that, but I'm gonna go to number four.
Does he talk about the future with you in it?
(04:22):
Not just vague someday fluff? Are you just surface level?
Are you at least looking at a vision in the
future and not just some just again fluff some bs?
Does he support your growth your dreams. Don't intimidate him?
A lot of my ladies, You guys, we are so
(04:43):
bad ass that these men are intimidated. And you should
never dim your light just because he's afraid of your shine.
Number six? Does he handle conflict maturely? No ghosting, no
gas lighting, and god forbid, no tantrums. We don't need
any adult tantrums. And number seven? Does he keep his word?
(05:05):
Because reliability is so attractive? Now? Does he check seven?
I mean at least six? All right, I'll give you five. Well,
you might have something worth building with. Now. If he's
missing half of this, we will not be signing that
contract yet. Sis. We have some more discovery to find
(05:26):
out before we talk about contract negotiations. I want us
to stop giving franchise energy to temporary players. Here's the
truth that stings just a little bit, it might sting
a lot for some. Sometimes we confuse chemistry for character.
You give someone your time, your energy, your body, your heart,
(05:46):
hoping they'll grow into the role. But friend, you cannot
coach someone into commitment as hard as you try. We
cannot coach anyone into commitment. If he's not showing franchise
energy now, chances are he won't down the line either.
So let me say it clear. Stop giving franchise contracts
(06:07):
to men who don't even show up for practice. You
are not in the a developmental league. You are in
the professional league. In all of this advice, I want
you to remember that you are the franchise as well.
Let's flip the lens real quick. Before you look for
(06:30):
his franchise potential, ask yourself, are you showing up like
the CEO of your own team? Huh? Something to think about.
A woman who knows she's a franchise doesn't chase or
bake for clarity. You don't have to chase or bag
for it anything. Walk away from confusion. As a franchise woman,
(06:52):
you have a vision for your love life in your
life period, and you know that settling is sabotage, so
we're not even going to do that. Franchise women don't
get stuck on the sidelines. We talked about this in
a previous episode. They draft with vision and date with standards,
because when you carry franchise energy, you will attract men
(07:15):
who are ready to match it and not manipulate it.
We're almost ready to wrap things up with this episode.
I know it goes by so fast, but let's go
ahead and do a two minute drill and ask ourselves
these questions. I'm calling this the franchise filter. Number one,
(07:35):
does he consistently show up with integrity? Think about that?
Number two? Is he emotionally available and self aware? Number three?
Can he handle real conversations and not just flirty banter?
Number four? Does he enhance your life and not exhausted.
(07:58):
I talked about before in one of the earlier episodes
that one of my key sayings is if you're going
to be in my life, you have to complement it,
not complicated. And number five is there alignment in what
you both want? If these are a yes, sis, don't
be afraid to go all in that is a clear
(08:18):
sign that you have a franchise player on your hand
with these five questions, a pie's in alignment with these questions,
and if it's a no to majority of them, then
you have permission to walk away. I'm giving you permission.
Somebody else is giving you permission to walk away, no
guilt and no delay. You are worth it. Well, this
(08:43):
episode sadly is coming to an end. I know it
goes by so fast, but I really do appreciate you
listening to a Woman's Playbook for dating. If you're ready
to draft smarter, cut the players who can't keep up
and finally sign a franchise level love Well, my friend
just getting started, don't forget to tack us on a
Woman's Playbook for Dating on Instagram and do me a favor,
(09:07):
go ahead and comment on Instagram watch your franchise non negotiable.
And as I always say, please share this with a friend,
the sister, or a cousin or relative, anyone that you
think can benefit from listening to this podcast and level
up their love level game. And I really do appreciate it.
And I'm gonna go ahead and head back to the
(09:28):
locker room to get ready for next week's episode where
I hope to see you there