July 20, 2025 • 11 mins
Episode Summary:In this episode of A Woman’s Playbook for Dating, we break down the four quarters of a football game as the perfect metaphor for pacing your love life. From kickoff chemistry to commitment clarity, each quarter represents a key stage in how relationships develop — or fall apart.If you’ve ever rushed into love, stayed too long in confusion, or ignored the score while hoping for a comeback, this episode will help you slow down, play smarter, and trust your internal clock.Love is a long game — and you’ve got the playbook to win it.
What You’ll Learn:
🗣️ Got a franchise fail or win? DM us or email womensplaybook4dating@gmail.com with your dating dilemmas — you might be featured in a future “coach’s challenge”!
⭐ Don’t forget to follow and leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts🎧 Listen Now On: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music | Stitcher🔔 Hit Follow so you never miss an episode of game-winning dating advice.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
What You’ll Learn:
- The emotional dynamics of each “quarter” in a dating relationship
- Why the first quarter is about curiosity, not commitment
- How to use halftime to reflect and recalibrate
- The role of consistency and clear communication in quarters two and three
- When to make it official — or walk away — in the fourth quarter
- How to stay present and protect your peace through each phase
- “You don’t win a championship in the first quarter — and you don’t win love there either.”
- “If you're stuck in the second quarter with no progress, it's time to check the scoreboard.”
- “The right person will match your pace, not rush your clock or delay the play.”
- ✨ Don’t confuse early chemistry with long-term compatibility
- ⏱️ Halftime is powerful — pause and reevaluate, don’t push through blindly
- 🧠 Play with awareness, not just emotion
- 🏆 Real love takes all four quarters — pace like a pro
🗣️ Got a franchise fail or win? DM us or email womensplaybook4dating@gmail.com with your dating dilemmas — you might be featured in a future “coach’s challenge”!
⭐ Don’t forget to follow and leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts🎧 Listen Now On: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music | Stitcher🔔 Hit Follow so you never miss an episode of game-winning dating advice.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook for Dating, where we
use football strategy to make smarter, stronger dating moves. I'm
your host, chevon Lee, your dating coach, locker room hype woman,
and the voice in your ear reminding you that your
love life is your game, your rules. This week's episode,
we're talking all about the four quarters of the game
(00:25):
and how pacing your dating life like a real football
game can save you heartache, wasted time, and emotional burnout
because too many of us are trying to win the
game in the first quarter, and says that's not how
championships are built. We have to, like, you know, pace
this thing out. So go ahead and grab your gatorade
or what your celsius, whatever you need, throw in your helmet,
(00:48):
and let's break it down the four quarters of dating.
The first quarter is all about the kickoff and chemistry.
The first quarter it's all about energy, attraction and setup.
Oh it's one of my favorite seasons, like part of dating.
(01:09):
This is when everything feels so new, the butterflies, the
banter that you hang up, No, you hang up? Do
we still do that anymore? I feel like, I mean
I might still do that. It might be that you're
texting all day, and those first few dates where everything
is just so new and so fresh. You're evaluating, you're observing,
(01:30):
you're seeing if he presents real or if it's just
a pregame show. Now here's some first quarter wisdom. Don't
confuse intensity for intimacy. They sound alike, not the same thing.
Stay curious, not committed. It is the first quarter of
(01:51):
the game. Friend, we are not committing just yet. Ask yourself,
does he show up with effort or just excitement? You know,
those love bombers. They can get you in the first
quarter if you're not careful. But remember, no one wins
a game in the first quarter. It's not the time
to crown him your franchise player just yet. Remember we
(02:12):
just talked about franchise players. He hasn't shown hisself yet, says,
we have to keep on going. So first quarter is
so fun, it's so exciting, but let's just take our
time all right. Now we've made our way to the
second quarter. There are four quarters total. I didn't say
(02:33):
that at the beginning, but there's four quarters. And now
we're at the second quarter, which is about connection and consistency.
We're now getting into a rhythm. The second quarter is
where you start seeing some patterns, not just potential. How
does he communicate when he's tired, busy stress. Is he
showing consistency or is he fading a little bit? Sometimes
(02:56):
they talk about you know, the first quarter is when
the representative shows up, and then by the second quarter,
you know he can't maintain the character that he was
playing in the first quarter, and then you know he
starts to slip up a little bit. Now, this is
where a lot of relationships either build momentum or reveal
their expiration date. Here's some second quarter wisdom. Watch for
(03:17):
red flags, not just the red roses. Be honest about compatibility,
not just chemistry, and ask can this connection hold up
under pressure this quarter? The second quarter tells you what
kind of teammate he really is. Anybody can come out
the gate strong in the first quarter. The second quarter
(03:39):
is you know, where things start to get a little intense,
and so you want to see is he able to
hold up and withstand there's okay, Q the entertainment, because
we've now made it to halftime. Halftime is about reflection
and recalibrating. Every great team takes halftime to review the
(04:01):
game so far, what's been working, what's not What do
we need to switch up a little bit? Are you
still aligned? Are we working you know, strong as a team.
The same thing for dating. This is your moment to
pause and reflect, not just to ride the emotional wave.
You know, during your halftime phase of you know you're
(04:21):
you know, dating with the person that you're with, ask yourself,
am I being heard, seen respected? Are my needs being met?
Or am I being pushed aside? Do I feel secure
or anxious? All the time? You might be asking yourself,
how will I know when it is halftime? When you
hit your stride after the second quarter and you you know,
(04:44):
go through that those questioning phases and you might hit
some bumps, that's the time when you just need to
do just a little reflection, some recalibrating. So that might
be your halftime. Now. I do want to say that
halftime isn't about panic. It's about checking the scoreboard and
adjusting the game plan if you need so, don't be
(05:06):
afraid to just take a moment to recalibrate if you
and your partner need it. Now we're moving into the
second half of the game, third quarter. This is about
intention and investment. This is where things get serious. The
third quarter is all about follow through. Anyone can be
(05:30):
charming in the beginning, but the third quarter is about consistency, clarity,
and deeper connection. Are you both building something? Are your
lives starting to sync together? Are you feeling like a
real team? That is that third quarter feeling. We're trying
to get to third quarter sometimes in the first quarter,
(05:50):
and we just have to let it play itself out
and build with each other to get to the third quarter.
Here's some third quarter wisdom. Ask for what you want. Clearly,
by this stage again, you are building together. You are
a team, So don't be afraid to ask for what
you want and stop tolerating confusion. If there's any confusion,
(06:15):
especially at this phase of your dating, then you need
to really be having that courageous conversation and pay attention
to action versus potential. At this phase of the game,
you need to be seeing action and not just looking
at the potential of what this person can bring. And
if you're still unsure where things stand, it's time to have,
(06:39):
as I said, a courageous conversation. No more guessing games.
Real teams communicate the play, especially getting close to the
fourth quarter of your dating. We've made it to the
final stretch of the game and we're in the fourth quarter,
and this quarter is all about commitment and clarity. This
(07:01):
is where you either lock in or you might just
want to let it go. We have to see maybe
you've made it official by now you're in the fourth quarter.
You're locked in, you're committed, you have clarity, Maybe you're
discussing long term goals, or maybe you're realizing that you
possibly have outgrown the connection. Let's talk about some fourth
(07:22):
quarter wisdom. Don't drag out what isn't working. No one
likes a game that is dragging on and on and on,
and the fourth quarter it can be a knell bier.
We're getting so close to the end, but we don't
want it to drag on. We just either want our
team to win or to walk off the field. Another
(07:43):
little piece of wisdom is to not rush what needs
one more play. You have to be very intentional about
every play in the fourth quarter. Again, we're getting close
to the end of the game, and you want to
choose peace and not pressure. You want to be relaxed.
The worst thing you can do is like crumble under pressure.
(08:06):
So be at peace, no pressure. Sometimes the fourth quarter
ends with a touchdown, and that's the best case scenario.
You are just on your way and next thing you know,
you are in the super Bowl. Well, you got to
get to the playoffs first, and then you make it
to the super Bowl. Then you get your ring on
that finger, you know. But sometimes it ends with a
(08:27):
respectful goodbye and you know your high five your teammate
and you're like, good game, but you're walking off the field.
Either way, it ends with you in control if you're
playing it right. So I want you to end it
with you having the control. I mean, I obviously want
you to win it with that Super Bowl ring on
(08:49):
your finger, but if it does have to end ended
with control, I do want to give a little coach's
challenge here and tell you to don't rush the Here's
what I want you to remember about this. Every quarter matters.
You don't rush a championship team in the first ten minutes.
You just don't do that. You don't commit in the
(09:12):
first quarter, then ignore the signs in the second, and finally,
you don't stay in overtime hoping someone will suddenly remember
the plays and all of this whatever quarter that you're
in pace matters, timing matters. Since you matter, It's time
(09:33):
for our two minute drill and this is all about
asking yourself. Do you know which quarter you're in? If
you can think about where you are in your dating
life right now, whether you're with one person or you
know you're making your way through your roster, what quarter
are you in with the people that you are dating
or the person that you were dating? Also ask yourself,
(09:54):
am I playing smart or am I playing scared? Sis
hold your head up and you play spart and not scared.
And finally, ask yourself, is the person matching my effort
or are they writing my energy? We don't need anyone
siphoning off our amazing energy. We needed to be reciprocal
(10:15):
and we are feeding off of each other. Now, no
shame If you've misjudged the game before we all have.
I have as well, But now you've got the playbook
and you're not wasting another season, even another quarter, on
someone who doesn't deserve the jersey. It's gone so fast,
(10:36):
but we have reached the end of this week's episode
of A Woman's Playbook for Dating. Please tag us on
Instagram and go ahead and comment and let us know.
Let me know what quarter are you currently in and
what play are you thinking of calling next? Until next time,
pace yourself, protect your piece, and play to win. And
(11:00):
as always, I really do appreciate when you share this
with a sister or a girlfriend, your niece, a auntie,
heck even your grandma if she needed. Anyone that can
benefit from taking their love life to the next level,
appreciate it if you share the episode with them, and
share the show with them. And I'm headed into the
locker room to get ready for next week's episode and where,
(11:22):
of course I hope to see you there.
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook for Dating, where we
use football strategy to make smarter, stronger dating moves. I'm
your host, chevon Lee, your dating coach, locker room hype woman,
and the voice in your ear reminding you that your
love life is your game, your rules. This week's episode,
we're talking all about the four quarters of the game
(00:25):
and how pacing your dating life like a real football
game can save you heartache, wasted time, and emotional burnout
because too many of us are trying to win the
game in the first quarter, and says that's not how
championships are built. We have to, like, you know, pace
this thing out. So go ahead and grab your gatorade
or what your celsius, whatever you need, throw in your helmet,
(00:48):
and let's break it down the four quarters of dating.
The first quarter is all about the kickoff and chemistry.
The first quarter it's all about energy, attraction and setup.
Oh it's one of my favorite seasons, like part of dating.
(01:09):
This is when everything feels so new, the butterflies, the
banter that you hang up, No, you hang up? Do
we still do that anymore? I feel like, I mean
I might still do that. It might be that you're
texting all day, and those first few dates where everything
is just so new and so fresh. You're evaluating, you're observing,
(01:30):
you're seeing if he presents real or if it's just
a pregame show. Now here's some first quarter wisdom. Don't
confuse intensity for intimacy. They sound alike, not the same thing.
Stay curious, not committed. It is the first quarter of
(01:51):
the game. Friend, we are not committing just yet. Ask yourself,
does he show up with effort or just excitement? You know,
those love bombers. They can get you in the first
quarter if you're not careful. But remember, no one wins
a game in the first quarter. It's not the time
to crown him your franchise player just yet. Remember we
(02:12):
just talked about franchise players. He hasn't shown hisself yet, says,
we have to keep on going. So first quarter is
so fun, it's so exciting, but let's just take our
time all right. Now we've made our way to the
second quarter. There are four quarters total. I didn't say
(02:33):
that at the beginning, but there's four quarters. And now
we're at the second quarter, which is about connection and consistency.
We're now getting into a rhythm. The second quarter is
where you start seeing some patterns, not just potential. How
does he communicate when he's tired, busy stress. Is he
showing consistency or is he fading a little bit? Sometimes
(02:56):
they talk about you know, the first quarter is when
the representative shows up, and then by the second quarter,
you know he can't maintain the character that he was
playing in the first quarter, and then you know he
starts to slip up a little bit. Now, this is
where a lot of relationships either build momentum or reveal
their expiration date. Here's some second quarter wisdom. Watch for
(03:17):
red flags, not just the red roses. Be honest about compatibility,
not just chemistry, and ask can this connection hold up
under pressure this quarter? The second quarter tells you what
kind of teammate he really is. Anybody can come out
the gate strong in the first quarter. The second quarter
(03:39):
is you know, where things start to get a little intense,
and so you want to see is he able to
hold up and withstand there's okay, Q the entertainment, because
we've now made it to halftime. Halftime is about reflection
and recalibrating. Every great team takes halftime to review the
(04:01):
game so far, what's been working, what's not What do
we need to switch up a little bit? Are you
still aligned? Are we working you know, strong as a team.
The same thing for dating. This is your moment to
pause and reflect, not just to ride the emotional wave.
You know, during your halftime phase of you know you're
(04:21):
you know, dating with the person that you're with, ask yourself,
am I being heard, seen respected? Are my needs being met?
Or am I being pushed aside? Do I feel secure
or anxious? All the time? You might be asking yourself,
how will I know when it is halftime? When you
hit your stride after the second quarter and you you know,
(04:44):
go through that those questioning phases and you might hit
some bumps, that's the time when you just need to
do just a little reflection, some recalibrating. So that might
be your halftime. Now. I do want to say that
halftime isn't about panic. It's about checking the scoreboard and
adjusting the game plan if you need so, don't be
(05:06):
afraid to just take a moment to recalibrate if you
and your partner need it. Now we're moving into the
second half of the game, third quarter. This is about
intention and investment. This is where things get serious. The
third quarter is all about follow through. Anyone can be
(05:30):
charming in the beginning, but the third quarter is about consistency, clarity,
and deeper connection. Are you both building something? Are your
lives starting to sync together? Are you feeling like a
real team? That is that third quarter feeling. We're trying
to get to third quarter sometimes in the first quarter,
(05:50):
and we just have to let it play itself out
and build with each other to get to the third quarter.
Here's some third quarter wisdom. Ask for what you want. Clearly,
by this stage again, you are building together. You are
a team, So don't be afraid to ask for what
you want and stop tolerating confusion. If there's any confusion,
(06:15):
especially at this phase of your dating, then you need
to really be having that courageous conversation and pay attention
to action versus potential. At this phase of the game,
you need to be seeing action and not just looking
at the potential of what this person can bring. And
if you're still unsure where things stand, it's time to have,
(06:39):
as I said, a courageous conversation. No more guessing games.
Real teams communicate the play, especially getting close to the
fourth quarter of your dating. We've made it to the
final stretch of the game and we're in the fourth quarter,
and this quarter is all about commitment and clarity. This
(07:01):
is where you either lock in or you might just
want to let it go. We have to see maybe
you've made it official by now you're in the fourth quarter.
You're locked in, you're committed, you have clarity, Maybe you're
discussing long term goals, or maybe you're realizing that you
possibly have outgrown the connection. Let's talk about some fourth
(07:22):
quarter wisdom. Don't drag out what isn't working. No one
likes a game that is dragging on and on and on,
and the fourth quarter it can be a knell bier.
We're getting so close to the end, but we don't
want it to drag on. We just either want our
team to win or to walk off the field. Another
(07:43):
little piece of wisdom is to not rush what needs
one more play. You have to be very intentional about
every play in the fourth quarter. Again, we're getting close
to the end of the game, and you want to
choose peace and not pressure. You want to be relaxed.
The worst thing you can do is like crumble under pressure.
(08:06):
So be at peace, no pressure. Sometimes the fourth quarter
ends with a touchdown, and that's the best case scenario.
You are just on your way and next thing you know,
you are in the super Bowl. Well, you got to
get to the playoffs first, and then you make it
to the super Bowl. Then you get your ring on
that finger, you know. But sometimes it ends with a
(08:27):
respectful goodbye and you know your high five your teammate
and you're like, good game, but you're walking off the field.
Either way, it ends with you in control if you're
playing it right. So I want you to end it
with you having the control. I mean, I obviously want
you to win it with that Super Bowl ring on
(08:49):
your finger, but if it does have to end ended
with control, I do want to give a little coach's
challenge here and tell you to don't rush the Here's
what I want you to remember about this. Every quarter matters.
You don't rush a championship team in the first ten minutes.
You just don't do that. You don't commit in the
(09:12):
first quarter, then ignore the signs in the second, and finally,
you don't stay in overtime hoping someone will suddenly remember
the plays and all of this whatever quarter that you're
in pace matters, timing matters. Since you matter, It's time
(09:33):
for our two minute drill and this is all about
asking yourself. Do you know which quarter you're in? If
you can think about where you are in your dating
life right now, whether you're with one person or you
know you're making your way through your roster, what quarter
are you in with the people that you are dating
or the person that you were dating? Also ask yourself,
(09:54):
am I playing smart or am I playing scared? Sis
hold your head up and you play spart and not scared.
And finally, ask yourself, is the person matching my effort
or are they writing my energy? We don't need anyone
siphoning off our amazing energy. We needed to be reciprocal
(10:15):
and we are feeding off of each other. Now, no
shame If you've misjudged the game before we all have.
I have as well, But now you've got the playbook
and you're not wasting another season, even another quarter, on
someone who doesn't deserve the jersey. It's gone so fast,
(10:36):
but we have reached the end of this week's episode
of A Woman's Playbook for Dating. Please tag us on
Instagram and go ahead and comment and let us know.
Let me know what quarter are you currently in and
what play are you thinking of calling next? Until next time,
pace yourself, protect your piece, and play to win. And
(11:00):
as always, I really do appreciate when you share this
with a sister or a girlfriend, your niece, a auntie,
heck even your grandma if she needed. Anyone that can
benefit from taking their love life to the next level,
appreciate it if you share the episode with them, and
share the show with them. And I'm headed into the
locker room to get ready for next week's episode and where,
(11:22):
of course I hope to see you there.
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