April 21, 2024 • 15 mins
In episode 6 we're tackling the defensive line. And just because we're talking about defense, it doesn't mean that you need to BE defensive. Let's chat about how to slot these type of players or scenarios into your dating life.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook forDating. I'm Chavon Lee, and I'm
here to be your cheerleader and coachalong your dating journey. This is episode
six. Now, last episode wedug deep into the offensive line of the
team. Today, we're gonna tacklea fundamental aspect of football, the defensive
line, and how to slot theseplayers into your dating roster. Now,
(00:26):
the defensive line is the backbone ofany NFL defense. These are some powerful
and agile athletes who are responsible fordisrupting the opposing team's offense. They are
pressuring the quarterback and stopping the offensefrom advancing and scoring. Now, just
because we're talking about the defensive linedoesn't mean that we're gearing up to be
(00:49):
defensive with these players on our datingrosters. They hold valuable positions on the
dating field and in the dating game, and once you figure out how to
best work with the strategies, girlfriend, you will be golden. Let's go
(01:11):
ahead and break down the various playerpositions on this side of the team.
At the core of the defensive lineare the defensive tackles. These players are
typically the largest and strongest on thefield. Their main objective is to block
the middle. They are disrupting therunning lanes and throwing off the quarterback's rhythm.
(01:33):
You want to think of these guysas the anchors of the line.
They're standing square up against the opposingteam's offensive line. And we talked about
offensive line in episode five, Soif you need a little refresher, go
ahead and go back to episode five. Then we have the defensive ends.
These players are a blend of powerand speed, so they are capable of
(01:56):
putting both pressure on the passer andbeing a barrier against players running the ball.
You can think of these players asthe gatekeepers Together. The defensive line
works together as a cohesive unit,and they're definitely relying on communication, technique
and athleticism to dominate the game.Now, how does this all relate to
(02:20):
dating. Let's get into how thisapplies to working with these men in your
dating life. Before I told youyou are the general manager or the head
coach, and you're calling the shotsfor the purposes of understanding the defensive strategies.
In this episode, I want youto shift your thinking just a little
bit. Picture yourself as the quarterbacknavigating the dating field. The defensive line
(02:46):
represents the various obstacles and challenges youmight encounter along the way. The defensive
tackles can be likened to the barriersthat you may face and forming a connection
with someone. Whether it's pass baggage, maybe trust issues, or conflicting priorities,
these obstacles can make it difficult toadvance the relationship. Remember, their
(03:08):
main objective is to block the middle, disrupt passing lanes, running lanes,
and throwing off the quarterback's rhythm.You are the quarterbacks, so they're there
to throw off your rhythm a littlebit. Many of us have run across
situations where barriers are placed in ourway from fully allowing us to move past
(03:29):
the surface line with someone you arewanting to go maybe a little deeper with
defensive tackles may be a little harderto navigate, but this is where strategy
and patience are. They are yourfriends with the defensive ends. Now they
mirror the external pressures and distractions thatcan derail your dating game, from societal
(03:52):
expectations to maybe other competing suitors vyingfor your partners or your potential partner's attention.
These outside forces can test the strengthof your bond. Now I mentioned
earlier that the defensive ends. Theseplayers are a blend of power and speed.
They're capable of both putting pressure onthe passer and being a barrier against
(04:14):
players running the ball. As gatekeepers, defensive ends gift you with a list
of obstacles that you work through.Now, notice I called it a gift
because with these players you learn aboutyourself and the process. One of my
favorite books I've read over the years, especially as a single woman, is
(04:36):
Keeping the Love You Find. Thisis by Hendrix Harville. Now. One
of the main premises of this booktouches on the fact that as long as
you are single, you will neverget to work out the rough edges needed
to be smoothed in order to bein relationship with others. You'll never experience
growth being single. Yes, insome ways it is a hell of a
(04:58):
lot easier on the heart, mind, and soul to be single, but
there may not be growth here inbeing single. Hendrix talks a lot about
the fact that it's not until you'rein relationship, in a relationship where you
learn certain aspects about yourself. Thesegrowing pains are a gift to you,
just as the defensive end positions onyour dating rosters are a gift to you,
(05:32):
just like a successful defensive line.Navigating the dating scene requires resilience,
adaptability, and teamwork too. It'sabout finding the right balance between aggression and
finesse, knowing when to assert yourselfand girlfriend when to play it cool.
(05:53):
I want to share a little bitabout where I am currently on my dating
journey now. I have been intentionallysingle since twenty twenty one, so it's
been a few years. It's nowtwenty twenty four. Notice I said intentional.
A few episodes back, I sharethat there was a player on my
roster who I thought had the potentialto take it all the way to the
(06:14):
super Bowl of my love life,and he even went as far as proposing
and giving me that championship ring anengagement ring. Well shortly after, I
had to fire this player because Iquickly learned that he was not authentic.
The relationship had the propensity to completelysack or flatten many aspects of myself that
(06:35):
I was not willing to compromise justfor the sake of being married again.
Yes, I've dated off and onsince then, but nothing anywhere near serious
or someone I considered to be exclusivewith. I've been on and off dating
apps so many times that I cannoteven count the number of times I've created
(06:55):
profiles and then maybe quickly deleted them. For the most part, dating apps
haven't lit me up in the waythat I feel excited about them. But
I also know that it's a greatway to build a roster of prospects along
the way to finding your franchise players. So I do play the game off
and on, on and off,and currently I'm right there on the dating
(07:19):
app field, just like many ofyou may be. But now I am
very much more strategy focused when itcomes to dating apps. For years,
I would aimlessly swipe left and right, and I've said this before, and
I'm going to be honest, Iswipe more left times than right times.
(07:39):
But you know, I really didn'thave a game plan on how I was
swiping previously. I've long since cometo the realization that there has to be
a science and the method to theseswipes, And now that's the space that
I am in. I'm now aboutto break down a little bit more strategy
for a woman's playbook for dating.Another thing with dating apps, specifically,
(08:09):
there's a multi layered approach. Perhapsthere's the physical attractiveness that catches your eye
about someone as you're looking at theirprofile, And if you're anything like me,
what your eyes are drawn to maynot be to one particular cookie cut
mold of a person. For instance, a man in one profile who catches
(08:30):
my attention that I might swipe oncould look way different than the next man
that I will swipe right on.So yes, there's a physical attraction,
but for me, it's also theenergy that I look to feel. Then
there's a layer of strategy in buildingmy roster. While one man may have
the potential to be a wide receiverin advancing beautifully down the field, some
(08:54):
I know will be slaughtered into adefensive player role who I know are just
there to challenge me. And thebest way possible this would be someone that
I that you know, they maynot check all of my boxes, but
I can see me growing from ourencounters. Now this time around dating and
on the dating app, I cameup with a checklist that I run through
(09:16):
with my matches. I use thisas my strategy playbooks so that I'm not
just randomly swiping, and also sothat I don't get tempted or swayed just
by the fine looks just based onwhat you know I may be attracted to
because those good looks, we know, honey, they can trip you up
(09:37):
if you're not careful. I'm notgonna give you a complete breakdown of my
personal checklist because everyone's checklist will lookdifferent. We're not all in the same
place on the field, so wecan't all expect the same checklist. And
just like with various team strategies,every woman needs to build the best roster
for them. What I will do, however, is give you a breakdown
(10:01):
of my theory behind building a rosterand how I use it with swiping online.
And I'm also going to keep youposted with my progress. Follow me
on this journey. This is goingto be fun. Okay. First,
(10:22):
I've created a slot roster kind oflike a checklist that I go through to
help me search for the type ofguys I need on my dating list.
This isn't a long term list,mind you. I do not want to
be swiping and doing this forever.The intention is to find someone that I
can be with long term. Iam looking to be in a long term
(10:43):
relationship. I do just need toalso have a game plan when swiping This
time around, I'm telling you Iwant to be more intentional now on this
slot roster, I have a fewkey positions that I'm essentially interviewing for.
Now. This is my list again, Yours may look a little different.
In some of these positions, Iwent over an earlier episode, so as
(11:07):
I run through them, if you'rewondering a little bit more about them,
go ahead and listen to the earlierepisodes. But some of the positions I
have on my slot roster that I'mlooking to interview for are running back,
center, safety, kicker, anoffensive lineman, and we might as well
(11:28):
throw that quarterback in there now.I had a side section for defensive ends
and defensive tackles. For the defensiveplayers, I understand that I may need
some of these players to sharpen outmy dating skills and my experiences. Remember,
they are there as a gift tochallenge me and to help me evolve
in my dating journey. So whileI may not be recruiting for the defensive
(11:54):
positions you know specifically, I knowthat I have to anticipate that they will
pop up on my timeline. SoI basically go through I'm swiping again left
and right, but I'm really beingmore intentional, So I'm not just quickly
swiping left and right. I'm lookingfor what potential does this particular person have
(12:18):
in my dating roster? Again,are they running back material? Someone that
will take the ball and run withit. So maybe after a few you
know, exchanges back and forth viachat, is this someone that is advancing
the conversation. I need that playeron my roster. I also I need
that center, someone who is ananchor, someone that I know will be
(12:41):
dependable. They may not have thepotential to go all the way, but
it's someone that I can keep around. And that's someone that can anchor or
be an anger on my dating roster. I know you're like, girl,
this takes work, but if youwant to intentionally that does take work.
(13:03):
So I do. I carry arounda notes app and I really make a
checklist of these potential matches or peoplethat I match with and where they could
maybe slot into my dating roster.So after matching with someone, I give
it twenty four hours before I canfigure out truly where they potentially maybe slot
(13:26):
in on my dating roster. SoI take a look at how is our
communication flowing, what type of thingsare we talking about? Is this just
surface level conversation or is it someonethat is genuinely interested? Are they carrying
the conversation? Am I carrying theconversation? So I really give it twenty
four hours to try to see howour exchanges are going, and then I
(13:50):
have a notes app, like Isaid, and I will slot them in
on that dating roster. Now,again, this does not mean that they're
going to stay there permanently. Theycould maybe potentially move to a different position,
but I slot them in so thatI can go through my slot roster
(14:13):
as I'm having these conversations, soI'm not wasting my time with people who
I know will not fit into oneof these slots, and that's just not
what I need right now. I'mtrying to be more intentional, and this
is what I encourage you to do. Just make sure as you're swiping that
you don't just do it randomly,that you're actually putting some thought behind it,
(14:35):
because it will truly make a difference. And I can tell you that
it has helped me as I'm flowingthrough my matches. It truly is helping
me to really be mindful about theconversations that I'm having and who is worth
having the conversations with so I wantyou to consider creating a slot roster as
(14:58):
you are on online dating, andto be very mindful about how you are
selecting who could potentially have that timein your life and who just needs to
go ahead and be sidelined. Okay, we have reached the end of this
week's episode, but make sure youtune in next week. We have lots
(15:20):
more to discuss. I am chavonnLee, your hosts of a Woman's Playbook
for Dating. As you know,I love it when you share this with
your girlfriends, your friends, yoursisters, your aunties, whoever you think
could benefit from hearing a little bitof strategy from a football perspective, but
also trying to reach that next championshiplevel of their love life. Until next
(15:45):
time, take care,
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook forDating. I'm Chavon Lee, and I'm
here to be your cheerleader and coachalong your dating journey. This is episode
six. Now, last episode wedug deep into the offensive line of the
team. Today, we're gonna tacklea fundamental aspect of football, the defensive
line, and how to slot theseplayers into your dating roster. Now,
(00:26):
the defensive line is the backbone ofany NFL defense. These are some powerful
and agile athletes who are responsible fordisrupting the opposing team's offense. They are
pressuring the quarterback and stopping the offensefrom advancing and scoring. Now, just
because we're talking about the defensive linedoesn't mean that we're gearing up to be
(00:49):
defensive with these players on our datingrosters. They hold valuable positions on the
dating field and in the dating game, and once you figure out how to
best work with the strategies, girlfriend, you will be golden. Let's go
(01:11):
ahead and break down the various playerpositions on this side of the team.
At the core of the defensive lineare the defensive tackles. These players are
typically the largest and strongest on thefield. Their main objective is to block
the middle. They are disrupting therunning lanes and throwing off the quarterback's rhythm.
(01:33):
You want to think of these guysas the anchors of the line.
They're standing square up against the opposingteam's offensive line. And we talked about
offensive line in episode five, Soif you need a little refresher, go
ahead and go back to episode five. Then we have the defensive ends.
These players are a blend of powerand speed, so they are capable of
(01:56):
putting both pressure on the passer andbeing a barrier against players running the ball.
You can think of these players asthe gatekeepers Together. The defensive line
works together as a cohesive unit,and they're definitely relying on communication, technique
and athleticism to dominate the game.Now, how does this all relate to
(02:20):
dating. Let's get into how thisapplies to working with these men in your
dating life. Before I told youyou are the general manager or the head
coach, and you're calling the shotsfor the purposes of understanding the defensive strategies.
In this episode, I want youto shift your thinking just a little
bit. Picture yourself as the quarterbacknavigating the dating field. The defensive line
(02:46):
represents the various obstacles and challenges youmight encounter along the way. The defensive
tackles can be likened to the barriersthat you may face and forming a connection
with someone. Whether it's pass baggage, maybe trust issues, or conflicting priorities,
these obstacles can make it difficult toadvance the relationship. Remember, their
(03:08):
main objective is to block the middle, disrupt passing lanes, running lanes,
and throwing off the quarterback's rhythm.You are the quarterbacks, so they're there
to throw off your rhythm a littlebit. Many of us have run across
situations where barriers are placed in ourway from fully allowing us to move past
(03:29):
the surface line with someone you arewanting to go maybe a little deeper with
defensive tackles may be a little harderto navigate, but this is where strategy
and patience are. They are yourfriends with the defensive ends. Now they
mirror the external pressures and distractions thatcan derail your dating game, from societal
(03:52):
expectations to maybe other competing suitors vyingfor your partners or your potential partner's attention.
These outside forces can test the strengthof your bond. Now I mentioned
earlier that the defensive ends. Theseplayers are a blend of power and speed.
They're capable of both putting pressure onthe passer and being a barrier against
(04:14):
players running the ball. As gatekeepers, defensive ends gift you with a list
of obstacles that you work through.Now, notice I called it a gift
because with these players you learn aboutyourself and the process. One of my
favorite books I've read over the years, especially as a single woman, is
(04:36):
Keeping the Love You Find. Thisis by Hendrix Harville. Now. One
of the main premises of this booktouches on the fact that as long as
you are single, you will neverget to work out the rough edges needed
to be smoothed in order to bein relationship with others. You'll never experience
growth being single. Yes, insome ways it is a hell of a
(04:58):
lot easier on the heart, mind, and soul to be single, but
there may not be growth here inbeing single. Hendrix talks a lot about
the fact that it's not until you'rein relationship, in a relationship where you
learn certain aspects about yourself. Thesegrowing pains are a gift to you,
just as the defensive end positions onyour dating rosters are a gift to you,
(05:32):
just like a successful defensive line.Navigating the dating scene requires resilience,
adaptability, and teamwork too. It'sabout finding the right balance between aggression and
finesse, knowing when to assert yourselfand girlfriend when to play it cool.
(05:53):
I want to share a little bitabout where I am currently on my dating
journey now. I have been intentionallysingle since twenty twenty one, so it's
been a few years. It's nowtwenty twenty four. Notice I said intentional.
A few episodes back, I sharethat there was a player on my
roster who I thought had the potentialto take it all the way to the
(06:14):
super Bowl of my love life,and he even went as far as proposing
and giving me that championship ring anengagement ring. Well shortly after, I
had to fire this player because Iquickly learned that he was not authentic.
The relationship had the propensity to completelysack or flatten many aspects of myself that
(06:35):
I was not willing to compromise justfor the sake of being married again.
Yes, I've dated off and onsince then, but nothing anywhere near serious
or someone I considered to be exclusivewith. I've been on and off dating
apps so many times that I cannoteven count the number of times I've created
(06:55):
profiles and then maybe quickly deleted them. For the most part, dating apps
haven't lit me up in the waythat I feel excited about them. But
I also know that it's a greatway to build a roster of prospects along
the way to finding your franchise players. So I do play the game off
and on, on and off,and currently I'm right there on the dating
(07:19):
app field, just like many ofyou may be. But now I am
very much more strategy focused when itcomes to dating apps. For years,
I would aimlessly swipe left and right, and I've said this before, and
I'm going to be honest, Iswipe more left times than right times.
(07:39):
But you know, I really didn'thave a game plan on how I was
swiping previously. I've long since cometo the realization that there has to be
a science and the method to theseswipes, And now that's the space that
I am in. I'm now aboutto break down a little bit more strategy
for a woman's playbook for dating.Another thing with dating apps, specifically,
(08:09):
there's a multi layered approach. Perhapsthere's the physical attractiveness that catches your eye
about someone as you're looking at theirprofile, And if you're anything like me,
what your eyes are drawn to maynot be to one particular cookie cut
mold of a person. For instance, a man in one profile who catches
(08:30):
my attention that I might swipe oncould look way different than the next man
that I will swipe right on.So yes, there's a physical attraction,
but for me, it's also theenergy that I look to feel. Then
there's a layer of strategy in buildingmy roster. While one man may have
the potential to be a wide receiverin advancing beautifully down the field, some
(08:54):
I know will be slaughtered into adefensive player role who I know are just
there to challenge me. And thebest way possible this would be someone that
I that you know, they maynot check all of my boxes, but
I can see me growing from ourencounters. Now this time around dating and
on the dating app, I cameup with a checklist that I run through
(09:16):
with my matches. I use thisas my strategy playbooks so that I'm not
just randomly swiping, and also sothat I don't get tempted or swayed just
by the fine looks just based onwhat you know I may be attracted to
because those good looks, we know, honey, they can trip you up
(09:37):
if you're not careful. I'm notgonna give you a complete breakdown of my
personal checklist because everyone's checklist will lookdifferent. We're not all in the same
place on the field, so wecan't all expect the same checklist. And
just like with various team strategies,every woman needs to build the best roster
for them. What I will do, however, is give you a breakdown
(10:01):
of my theory behind building a rosterand how I use it with swiping online.
And I'm also going to keep youposted with my progress. Follow me
on this journey. This is goingto be fun. Okay. First,
(10:22):
I've created a slot roster kind oflike a checklist that I go through to
help me search for the type ofguys I need on my dating list.
This isn't a long term list,mind you. I do not want to
be swiping and doing this forever.The intention is to find someone that I
can be with long term. Iam looking to be in a long term
(10:43):
relationship. I do just need toalso have a game plan when swiping This
time around, I'm telling you Iwant to be more intentional now on this
slot roster, I have a fewkey positions that I'm essentially interviewing for.
Now. This is my list again, Yours may look a little different.
In some of these positions, Iwent over an earlier episode, so as
(11:07):
I run through them, if you'rewondering a little bit more about them,
go ahead and listen to the earlierepisodes. But some of the positions I
have on my slot roster that I'mlooking to interview for are running back,
center, safety, kicker, anoffensive lineman, and we might as well
(11:28):
throw that quarterback in there now.I had a side section for defensive ends
and defensive tackles. For the defensiveplayers, I understand that I may need
some of these players to sharpen outmy dating skills and my experiences. Remember,
they are there as a gift tochallenge me and to help me evolve
in my dating journey. So whileI may not be recruiting for the defensive
(11:54):
positions you know specifically, I knowthat I have to anticipate that they will
pop up on my timeline. SoI basically go through I'm swiping again left
and right, but I'm really beingmore intentional, So I'm not just quickly
swiping left and right. I'm lookingfor what potential does this particular person have
(12:18):
in my dating roster? Again,are they running back material? Someone that
will take the ball and run withit. So maybe after a few you
know, exchanges back and forth viachat, is this someone that is advancing
the conversation. I need that playeron my roster. I also I need
that center, someone who is ananchor, someone that I know will be
(12:41):
dependable. They may not have thepotential to go all the way, but
it's someone that I can keep around. And that's someone that can anchor or
be an anger on my dating roster. I know you're like, girl,
this takes work, but if youwant to intentionally that does take work.
(13:03):
So I do. I carry arounda notes app and I really make a
checklist of these potential matches or peoplethat I match with and where they could
maybe slot into my dating roster.So after matching with someone, I give
it twenty four hours before I canfigure out truly where they potentially maybe slot
(13:26):
in on my dating roster. SoI take a look at how is our
communication flowing, what type of thingsare we talking about? Is this just
surface level conversation or is it someonethat is genuinely interested? Are they carrying
the conversation? Am I carrying theconversation? So I really give it twenty
four hours to try to see howour exchanges are going, and then I
(13:50):
have a notes app, like Isaid, and I will slot them in
on that dating roster. Now,again, this does not mean that they're
going to stay there permanently. Theycould maybe potentially move to a different position,
but I slot them in so thatI can go through my slot roster
(14:13):
as I'm having these conversations, soI'm not wasting my time with people who
I know will not fit into oneof these slots, and that's just not
what I need right now. I'mtrying to be more intentional, and this
is what I encourage you to do. Just make sure as you're swiping that
you don't just do it randomly,that you're actually putting some thought behind it,
(14:35):
because it will truly make a difference. And I can tell you that
it has helped me as I'm flowingthrough my matches. It truly is helping
me to really be mindful about theconversations that I'm having and who is worth
having the conversations with so I wantyou to consider creating a slot roster as
(14:58):
you are on online dating, andto be very mindful about how you are
selecting who could potentially have that timein your life and who just needs to
go ahead and be sidelined. Okay, we have reached the end of this
week's episode, but make sure youtune in next week. We have lots
(15:20):
more to discuss. I am chavonnLee, your hosts of a Woman's Playbook
for Dating. As you know,I love it when you share this with
your girlfriends, your friends, yoursisters, your aunties, whoever you think
could benefit from hearing a little bitof strategy from a football perspective, but
also trying to reach that next championshiplevel of their love life. Until next
(15:45):
time, take care,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.