May 5, 2024 • 11 mins
Episode 8 shares key Insights on when It's time to "Bench or Cut Players"from the team. While it may be a hard step in your dating journey, you have to know when to cut your losses and move on.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-woman-s-playbook-for-dating--6033561/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook forDating. I'm chebon Lee and here to
be your GIA leader along your datingjourney. Now, at this stage of
the podcast journey, we've made itonto the field and into the game.
As we talked about last episode.In today's episode, we're diving into the
world of managing players on your datingroster. Just like on the football field,
(00:30):
managing your dating roster requires strategy,foresight, and a whole lot of
finesse Alright, ladies, let's tacklethis head on. Just like in football,
sometimes you need to make tough decisionsabout who stays on your roster and
who unfortunately gets cut. It's nevereasy, but it's a critical part of
(00:51):
the game. You see, it'snot just about having a team, it's
about knowing how to play them onthe field as well. Managing these players
is always easy, and just likein football, there are injuries, setbacks,
and unexpected curve balls that can throwoff your game. But here's the
secret, my friends. It's allabout balance. But here's the most important
(01:12):
thing to remember. You're the coachof your own team and it's up to
you to call the shots. Now, don't be afraid to make tough decisions,
to binge players who aren't pulling theirweight, and to go after honi
what you really want. When consideringwhether to break things off in a relationship,
(01:41):
there are several signs to pay attentionto. I want to give you
three key indicators. First up,consistent lack of communication or effort. Communication
is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If a player on your dating roster
consistently fails to communicate effectively or putslittle effort into to maintaining the relationship,
well, it may be time andassigned to show that they're not fully invested.
(02:06):
Now, what does this look like? This could manifest as on responsiveness
to text messages or messages in general, avoiding important conversations, or failing to
follow through on commitments. Now,if you find yourself feeling unheard or undervalue
despite expressing your needs, well again, friend, it may be time to
reassess the relationship. Trust your instincts. Is something seems off, chances are
(02:31):
you are right. Indicator number twomisalignment of values or goals. Now,
a successful partnership requires compatibility and values, goals, and priorities. If you
and your partner have fundamental different beliefs, aspirations or visions for the future that
(02:52):
cannot be reconciled well. It canlead to ongoing conflicts and dissatisfaction. I
want you to pay attention to whetheryou're long term goals and values align,
and whether you're both on the samepage regarding important aspects of life such as
family, career, and lifestyle.If you find yourself constantly at odds with
no compromise in sight, it maybe a sign that the relationship is unsustainable.
(03:17):
And we've all had experiences of rosecolored glasses at the beginning of budding
relationships, haven't you. I know, I have oh things that we overlook?
Friend? What is the rush?Though? Take your time and get
to know if the players on yourroster actually belong there. Do they align
with you in the ways that complimentyour life and not complicate it. You
(03:39):
can be opposites that are attracted toeach other, but if the opposites are
in key areas of your life suchas morals and values, sorry to tell
you, friend, but it's notgonna work out in the long run.
The last key indicator I want youto consider is emotional disconnection or unhappiness.
Emotional intimacy is vital for a fulfillingrelationship. If you consistently feel emotionally disconnected
(04:04):
from your partner, or find thatthe relationship no longer brings you joy and
fulfillment, I mean, especially inthe dating phase, well, it's essential
to acknowledge these feelings. Signs ofemotional disconnection may include feeling lonely or unsupported
I mean, come on, whohas time for that, especially in the
dating process. You know, ignoringthese feelings can lead to resentment and further
(04:30):
damage the relationship in the long run. So don't be afraid to have the
tough conversations when you see that yourneeds aren't being fulfilled. Not having these
conversations, especially so early on inthe process, is hurting both of you
in the long run. Number twentytwo Gordon, First, let's dig down
(04:54):
a little further, all right,Imagine this scenario. You've been holding onto
a player on your for a whilenow. Maybe he's strong but silent type,
the one who never seems to openup emotionally. You've given him chance
after chance, but deep down youknow he's not meeting your needs. This
is where it's important to recognize whenit's time to let go. Just like
(05:17):
in football, keeping a player onyour roster who isn't contributing to the team
can weigh you down and hold youback from reaching your full potential. Many
people dedicate far too much of theirprecious years holding onto someone's potential, blocking
them from someone who is actually morealigned with them, just out of fear
of being alone or just being honestof what is not serving them. Fear
(05:41):
will hold you back. If someoneyou're dating is showing you that they clearly
are not invested, babe, moveon. Don't get employed in the business
of trying to change people. Theperson for you is not someone you have
to fight for their attention. Buthere's the thing. Letting go t doesn't
mean giving up. It means makingroom for new players who have the potential
(06:03):
to take your game to the nextlevel. It's about recognizing your own worth
and having the courage to make boldmoves in the pursuit of your happiness.
So how do you know when it'stime to make these moves? Well,
just like in football, it's abouttrusting your instincts and reading the signs.
If a player isn't showing up foryou, if he's not putting in the
(06:25):
effort or making you feel valued,it might be time for a change.
And remember, making a move doesn'talways mean finding a replacement right away.
I mean sometimes it's about taking astep back, reassessing your game plan,
and focusing on yourself for a while. It's about knowing when to press forward
and when it's time to regroup.I often share with friends or different people,
(06:48):
probably anybody who would listen that oneyear I took a sabbatical off from
dating. I took just a yearlong hashtag dates with myself. That's right,
one year purposely not dating and justfocused on myself. It was a
whirlwind of a year. I traveled, I wined and dined in myself.
(07:10):
There are also many quiet nights,some not as easy as others to get
through. But I needed that time. I had to assess what I most
needed in my life. I wantedto let go of old feelings and emotional
baggage weighing me down, so thatI could intentionally enter the next relationship with
lightness and with ease. Now,while I do recommend dating sabbaticals to you
(07:32):
know, single ladies, single people, I will say that a year might
have been a wee bit too long. As twelve months made me build up
some walls and I became a littletoo comfortable being alone. I'll touch on
this in another episode later on,but the key is to trust your instincts,
(07:53):
make bold moves when necessary, andnever settle for anything less than what
you deserve. It's okay to acknowledgewhen a relationship isn't serving you and to
have the courage to walk away.Here's the thing, though, Cutting off
things with a guy doesn't mean you'regiving up on love. Oh my god,
don't think that you're giving up onlove. If you have to cut
someone off, it means that you'reprioritizing your own happiness and wellbeing. It
(08:18):
means you're making room for someone whotruly appreciates you and adds value to your
life. So again, how doyou know when it's time to make that
tough call? Trust your gut.If something feels off, if you find
yourself constantly making excuses for this person'sbehavior, or if you're just not excited
(08:41):
about the dating process with this personanymore, it might be time to move
on. Have you ever caught yourselfmidstream sharing a story with a girlfriend and
realize why am I settling for this. Sometimes you can't even continue sharing the
tea because you realize how crazy thesituation and sounds. Girl. Move on,
(09:03):
as hard as the days may be. Sometimes it's better to be single
and happy than to be in arelationship that's draining your energy and your spirit.
Don't settle for anything less than youdeserve, and don't be afraid to
walk away from a player who's notmeeting your standards. So the next time
you find yourself questioning whether to cutthings off with a guy you're dating,
(09:26):
remember you have the power to controlyour game. Trust yourself, be brave,
and know that the right player isout there waiting for you. Ultimately,
trust your instincts and prioritize your ownwell being. If you find yourself
experiencing these science consistently and efforts toaddress them have been unsuccessful, it may
(09:48):
be time to have a candid conversationwith your dating partner about the future of
the relationship. Or go ahead andjust cut your losses and just consider ending
things all together, and remember whythe endings can be difficult. They also
can pay the way for new beginningsor opportunities for growth and fulfillment, and
they might just open up more slotson your roster for the player that's really
(10:13):
deserving and wanting to be there.All right, ladies, that is today's
episode. I hope that you haveenjoyed today's episode all about managing the players
on your dating roster. I'm ChavonLee and I'm headed back into the locker
(10:35):
room to prepare for next week's episode. But please remember to follow me on
ig and also TikTok under a woman'splaybook for dating. And do me a
favor and share this podcast with afriend, a sister, a neighbor,
the girl at the checkout stand,anyone who you think can benefit from listening
to this episode or these episodes aboutmanaging your dating life to take you to
(10:58):
championship life. Until next time,girl, keep your head up. We
got this. I'm your cheerleader.
Welcome back to a Woman's Playbook forDating. I'm chebon Lee and here to
be your GIA leader along your datingjourney. Now, at this stage of
the podcast journey, we've made itonto the field and into the game.
As we talked about last episode.In today's episode, we're diving into the
world of managing players on your datingroster. Just like on the football field,
(00:30):
managing your dating roster requires strategy,foresight, and a whole lot of
finesse Alright, ladies, let's tacklethis head on. Just like in football,
sometimes you need to make tough decisionsabout who stays on your roster and
who unfortunately gets cut. It's nevereasy, but it's a critical part of
(00:51):
the game. You see, it'snot just about having a team, it's
about knowing how to play them onthe field as well. Managing these players
is always easy, and just likein football, there are injuries, setbacks,
and unexpected curve balls that can throwoff your game. But here's the
secret, my friends. It's allabout balance. But here's the most important
(01:12):
thing to remember. You're the coachof your own team and it's up to
you to call the shots. Now, don't be afraid to make tough decisions,
to binge players who aren't pulling theirweight, and to go after honi
what you really want. When consideringwhether to break things off in a relationship,
(01:41):
there are several signs to pay attentionto. I want to give you
three key indicators. First up,consistent lack of communication or effort. Communication
is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If a player on your dating roster
consistently fails to communicate effectively or putslittle effort into to maintaining the relationship,
well, it may be time andassigned to show that they're not fully invested.
(02:06):
Now, what does this look like? This could manifest as on responsiveness
to text messages or messages in general, avoiding important conversations, or failing to
follow through on commitments. Now,if you find yourself feeling unheard or undervalue
despite expressing your needs, well again, friend, it may be time to
reassess the relationship. Trust your instincts. Is something seems off, chances are
(02:31):
you are right. Indicator number twomisalignment of values or goals. Now,
a successful partnership requires compatibility and values, goals, and priorities. If you
and your partner have fundamental different beliefs, aspirations or visions for the future that
(02:52):
cannot be reconciled well. It canlead to ongoing conflicts and dissatisfaction. I
want you to pay attention to whetheryou're long term goals and values align,
and whether you're both on the samepage regarding important aspects of life such as
family, career, and lifestyle.If you find yourself constantly at odds with
no compromise in sight, it maybe a sign that the relationship is unsustainable.
(03:17):
And we've all had experiences of rosecolored glasses at the beginning of budding
relationships, haven't you. I know, I have oh things that we overlook?
Friend? What is the rush?Though? Take your time and get
to know if the players on yourroster actually belong there. Do they align
with you in the ways that complimentyour life and not complicate it. You
(03:39):
can be opposites that are attracted toeach other, but if the opposites are
in key areas of your life suchas morals and values, sorry to tell
you, friend, but it's notgonna work out in the long run.
The last key indicator I want youto consider is emotional disconnection or unhappiness.
Emotional intimacy is vital for a fulfillingrelationship. If you consistently feel emotionally disconnected
(04:04):
from your partner, or find thatthe relationship no longer brings you joy and
fulfillment, I mean, especially inthe dating phase, well, it's essential
to acknowledge these feelings. Signs ofemotional disconnection may include feeling lonely or unsupported
I mean, come on, whohas time for that, especially in the
dating process. You know, ignoringthese feelings can lead to resentment and further
(04:30):
damage the relationship in the long run. So don't be afraid to have the
tough conversations when you see that yourneeds aren't being fulfilled. Not having these
conversations, especially so early on inthe process, is hurting both of you
in the long run. Number twentytwo Gordon, First, let's dig down
(04:54):
a little further, all right,Imagine this scenario. You've been holding onto
a player on your for a whilenow. Maybe he's strong but silent type,
the one who never seems to openup emotionally. You've given him chance
after chance, but deep down youknow he's not meeting your needs. This
is where it's important to recognize whenit's time to let go. Just like
(05:17):
in football, keeping a player onyour roster who isn't contributing to the team
can weigh you down and hold youback from reaching your full potential. Many
people dedicate far too much of theirprecious years holding onto someone's potential, blocking
them from someone who is actually morealigned with them, just out of fear
of being alone or just being honestof what is not serving them. Fear
(05:41):
will hold you back. If someoneyou're dating is showing you that they clearly
are not invested, babe, moveon. Don't get employed in the business
of trying to change people. Theperson for you is not someone you have
to fight for their attention. Buthere's the thing. Letting go t doesn't
mean giving up. It means makingroom for new players who have the potential
(06:03):
to take your game to the nextlevel. It's about recognizing your own worth
and having the courage to make boldmoves in the pursuit of your happiness.
So how do you know when it'stime to make these moves? Well,
just like in football, it's abouttrusting your instincts and reading the signs.
If a player isn't showing up foryou, if he's not putting in the
(06:25):
effort or making you feel valued,it might be time for a change.
And remember, making a move doesn'talways mean finding a replacement right away.
I mean sometimes it's about taking astep back, reassessing your game plan,
and focusing on yourself for a while. It's about knowing when to press forward
and when it's time to regroup.I often share with friends or different people,
(06:48):
probably anybody who would listen that oneyear I took a sabbatical off from
dating. I took just a yearlong hashtag dates with myself. That's right,
one year purposely not dating and justfocused on myself. It was a
whirlwind of a year. I traveled, I wined and dined in myself.
(07:10):
There are also many quiet nights,some not as easy as others to get
through. But I needed that time. I had to assess what I most
needed in my life. I wantedto let go of old feelings and emotional
baggage weighing me down, so thatI could intentionally enter the next relationship with
lightness and with ease. Now,while I do recommend dating sabbaticals to you
(07:32):
know, single ladies, single people, I will say that a year might
have been a wee bit too long. As twelve months made me build up
some walls and I became a littletoo comfortable being alone. I'll touch on
this in another episode later on,but the key is to trust your instincts,
(07:53):
make bold moves when necessary, andnever settle for anything less than what
you deserve. It's okay to acknowledgewhen a relationship isn't serving you and to
have the courage to walk away.Here's the thing, though, Cutting off
things with a guy doesn't mean you'regiving up on love. Oh my god,
don't think that you're giving up onlove. If you have to cut
someone off, it means that you'reprioritizing your own happiness and wellbeing. It
(08:18):
means you're making room for someone whotruly appreciates you and adds value to your
life. So again, how doyou know when it's time to make that
tough call? Trust your gut.If something feels off, if you find
yourself constantly making excuses for this person'sbehavior, or if you're just not excited
(08:41):
about the dating process with this personanymore, it might be time to move
on. Have you ever caught yourselfmidstream sharing a story with a girlfriend and
realize why am I settling for this. Sometimes you can't even continue sharing the
tea because you realize how crazy thesituation and sounds. Girl. Move on,
(09:03):
as hard as the days may be. Sometimes it's better to be single
and happy than to be in arelationship that's draining your energy and your spirit.
Don't settle for anything less than youdeserve, and don't be afraid to
walk away from a player who's notmeeting your standards. So the next time
you find yourself questioning whether to cutthings off with a guy you're dating,
(09:26):
remember you have the power to controlyour game. Trust yourself, be brave,
and know that the right player isout there waiting for you. Ultimately,
trust your instincts and prioritize your ownwell being. If you find yourself
experiencing these science consistently and efforts toaddress them have been unsuccessful, it may
(09:48):
be time to have a candid conversationwith your dating partner about the future of
the relationship. Or go ahead andjust cut your losses and just consider ending
things all together, and remember whythe endings can be difficult. They also
can pay the way for new beginningsor opportunities for growth and fulfillment, and
they might just open up more slotson your roster for the player that's really
(10:13):
deserving and wanting to be there.All right, ladies, that is today's
episode. I hope that you haveenjoyed today's episode all about managing the players
on your dating roster. I'm ChavonLee and I'm headed back into the locker
(10:35):
room to prepare for next week's episode. But please remember to follow me on
ig and also TikTok under a woman'splaybook for dating. And do me a
favor and share this podcast with afriend, a sister, a neighbor,
the girl at the checkout stand,anyone who you think can benefit from listening
to this episode or these episodes aboutmanaging your dating life to take you to
(10:58):
championship life. Until next time,girl, keep your head up. We
got this. I'm your cheerleader.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!