October 18, 2024 • 29 mins
EP 87 Transitional Space
In this episode of the 'All Things Good for You' podcast, host Brian Bowen explores navigating the transitional spaces in life where honoring the struggle leads to growth. He delves into the three types of pain identified by mentor Brendan Brouchard: lost pain, process pain, and outcome pain, highlighting their impact and offering strategies to overcome them. Brian emphasizes the importance of clarity, alignment, and positively envisioning outcomes. Listeners are encouraged to embrace the challenges, shift their mindset, and find fulfillment in the journey. Join us for invaluable insights about pushing through self-doubt, overcoming obstacles, and the power of a supportive community to turn dreams into reality.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview
01:37 Honoring the Struggle: A Follow-Up
01:51 Understanding Transitional Spaces
04:17 Types of Pain: Lost Pain
09:45 Types of Pain: Process Pain
14:00 Types of Pain: Outcome Pain
15:10 Building Confidence Through Transitional Periods
15:56 Creating a Custom Needle Brand
17:05 Facing the 'What Ifs' in Business
17:48 Embracing the Manufacturing Process
18:26 Overcoming Outcome Pain
20:30 Shifting Mindsets and Language
23:34 Navigating Transitional Spaces
26:11 Honoring the Struggle
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/all-things-good-for-you--4972263/support.
In this episode of the 'All Things Good for You' podcast, host Brian Bowen explores navigating the transitional spaces in life where honoring the struggle leads to growth. He delves into the three types of pain identified by mentor Brendan Brouchard: lost pain, process pain, and outcome pain, highlighting their impact and offering strategies to overcome them. Brian emphasizes the importance of clarity, alignment, and positively envisioning outcomes. Listeners are encouraged to embrace the challenges, shift their mindset, and find fulfillment in the journey. Join us for invaluable insights about pushing through self-doubt, overcoming obstacles, and the power of a supportive community to turn dreams into reality.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview
01:37 Honoring the Struggle: A Follow-Up
01:51 Understanding Transitional Spaces
04:17 Types of Pain: Lost Pain
09:45 Types of Pain: Process Pain
14:00 Types of Pain: Outcome Pain
15:10 Building Confidence Through Transitional Periods
15:56 Creating a Custom Needle Brand
17:05 Facing the 'What Ifs' in Business
17:48 Embracing the Manufacturing Process
18:26 Overcoming Outcome Pain
20:30 Shifting Mindsets and Language
23:34 Navigating Transitional Spaces
26:11 Honoring the Struggle
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/all-things-good-for-you--4972263/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Focus on what can I gain by pushing through this
transitional period? And I recognize there's some lost pain in here.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Stop. Do I need to pivot? Do I need to
do this?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I need to keep pushing through this process. There once
I get to the other side, here's what I am
going to gain on it?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Okay, what are you going to.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Gain from it?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hey? Friends, thank you for listening to the All Things
Good for You Podcast. Join us as we explore ancient traditions,
modern tools and practices in the world of health, wellness,
and personal development. I'm Amy Christensen, your host and your
curated mind coach, and.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I'm your co host Brian Bowen, founder of Integrative Health, Inc.
And Better Human Company High Performance Coaching. Are you ready
to take control of your life and start feeling enthusiastic, empowered,
and limitless each and.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Every day for a life well lived? Let your curiosity
flow with.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
All Things Good for You.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Hello, and thank you for listening to All Things Good
for Your podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Happy whatever day it might be for you right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Thank you
for taking your time on your day to listen to
this podcast. I am Brian Bowen and my cost Amy
Christiansen is not with us today. I will miss her
as always when I do these little shorts, but I'm
excited to do a short for you guys today to
(01:34):
drop a little something in for your week. This is
going to be a follow up on a previous short
that I did on honoring the struggle. If you're in
a place of honoring the struggle or if you've become
the struggle, and I want to focus this podcast more
about that space between honoring the struggle and becoming the struggle.
(01:59):
I feel like it's easy to talk about the endpoints.
It's easier to talk about one end of the extreme
to the other end, but it's the transitional space between
that can be a real challenge. So I always feel
like when I'm struggling with something or something is.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hard, I just stop and say I.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Need more clarity. And so that's what I want to
do today. I want to bring just a little bit
more clarity to that space between.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Those two places.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And we can even think about it as this space
between in growth, right if I'm moving towards something and
or it could be the space between honoring the struggle
and that you have become the struggle. So whatever it is,
there is a common space that we need to speak
more about, and that transitional space.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Because it is that space.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
That defines how we move forward or if we become
stagnant in that space, or if we fall backward, or
if we go retro right, So we don't want to
go retro. We want to go We want to be
moving forward. And it's easy to get stuck in that space.
(03:24):
It's common to get stuck in this transitional space. And
I'm going to drop a little credit and something I
like from one of my mentors, Brendan Brouchard, because I
believe that these three things that he discusses is very
important to bringing clarity about that transitional space and why
(03:46):
we can get stuck in that space or even go
backwards and not move in the proper direction, to not
move forward. So in that space, in that transitional space,
there can be pain, and it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
This is emotional pain.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
It doesn't have to always be physical or super traumatic pain,
something of that intensity level.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
This is the normal day stuff people that we're all
that we all struggle with.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This is mindset stuff, the mindset stuff that we're going
to talk about this type of pain. Brendan defines three
types of pain, lost pain, process pain, and outcome pain.
And as I observe my stuff when I'm moving through
and I'm trying to move towards something and I hit
these hiccups or speed bumps in the road, or I
(04:39):
get stuck or I become stagnant, right, I can literally
stop and identify with one of these types of pain.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And it's important when you're on a.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Path and the bumps are in the road, the winds
of life are throwing stuff at you to be able
to stop and have a little clarity about what the
are and how they're affecting you. If you're holding back
and if you're deciding not to let loose, right, if
(05:10):
you're not as vibrant or whatever it is, stop and
just let's see if we can identify with one of
these and help us move through it. Okay, So the
first one is lost pain, and that basically is describing
the fear of things that you might have to lose
or that you're losing, whether it's people or material things
(05:33):
or whatever that you're worried about losing. If you're taking
these certain actions and putting focus on moving towards this thing,
and a lot of times it's money, right, I don't
I'm put my best foot forward into this project and
I'm not seeing the reward yet, and I've been putting
(05:57):
money in it and I can't move forward. And there's
a space in that where it's wait, You've like when
do you know to pull the plug? Or when do
you know to keep forward? And there's that little transition
where we might not have moved forward enough because we
feared about more loss. I've put enough time and energy
(06:19):
into this project and I haven't seen I haven't reaped
the benefit yet. How do you know you've stood your
ground long enough? How do you know that you've put
the right type of energy, How do you know you've
put the right type of focus? How can you pause
it and realize, Hey, I'm stuck in this right now
because I have a fear of losing more of my time,
of losing more of my energy, of losing more money.
(06:41):
And I know there's a crap load of books out there,
and I've read a lot of them, most of them
that are like, hey, you have to if there's that
energy there, it's time to you have to cut it.
Loose right, put that energy into the things that's given
you eighty percent of the results. And I don't disagree
with a lot of some of the other ideas or philosophies.
(07:04):
I do feel like if you're doing something that aligns
with your values, which we talked about in a previous podcast,
that you have to be able to.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Put You have to put energy into it.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You have to put the processes together, and you have
to sometimes push through, and you have to pivot, and
you have to overcome challenges, and you have to honor
the struggle, like we talked about in a previous podcasts,
and you have to know when to stand your ground
to push through. And sometimes we don't stand the ground
long enough to be able to get to the results,
(07:36):
so you end up wasting your time, and you end
up wasting your money, right or whatever other resources.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It is.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So if you're stuck or stagnant because you feel the
fear of what I might lose, think about what that
fear is and think about the stuff that you're going
to gain. So, and I'm talking about if this thing
you're doing aligns with your values, aligns with your purpose,
(08:04):
aligns with your passions, is something that nurtures you as
something that undoubtedly at a visceral sense, you're like, I
want to do this, I have to do this.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
This is my thing, this is my jam.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You have to honor that, you have to support that,
and just recognize if you are stuck, if you're stagnant,
if you're going backwards in this thing that you're doing,
what is it that's happening? What is it that what's
going on in the mindset. When we're doing certain therapies
at my clinic with people, there's a time where I'm like, no,
(08:37):
I know we need to do this is the therapy
we need, or maybe it's a combination of therapies, and
there's a little bit of a roller coaster ride. We
print this document out for people at the very beginning
that you know, healing can be a roller coaster. Some
days it's going to feel better, some days it's going
to feel worse, and eventually the better days compound and
overcome the days where there's worse days, and eventually we
(09:00):
get ahead of it. And so that's that transitional period
I'm talking about, right, So we have to stick it,
We have to we have to do this therapy this
many times and here's our metrics that we're going to
look at to make sure we're moving in the right
direction and we know we're moving.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Ahead of it. What is it?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Or Okay, it's time to call it. We've done this enough,
Like what does that look like for you? But just
have clarity around it, right and focus on what can
I gain by pushing through this transitional period? And I've
recognized there's some lost pain in here. Stop do I
need to pivot? Do I need to do this? But
I need to keep pushing through this process there once
(09:38):
I get to the other side, here's what I am
going to gain from it? Okay, what are you going
to gain from it? The second type of pain is
process pain, and man process pain.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That's one that commonly comes up for me, certainly, I
think more than the loss pain.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And it's about the fear of how much.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Energy and how long it's going to take and how
challenging the.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Path is going to be.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So that can be a big one because sometimes we
don't like to play the long game. We like the
short game. We like it to be quick, we like
it to be we don't like it to be messy.
And then anytime, little hiccups can come at us or
challenges with other people. That's part of that process that
we have to overcome. It can be, it cannot be fun,
(10:31):
and that this is certainly one that can pull you
from honoring the struggle right into becoming the struggle, because
that's just the way it is. And sometimes we have
to know that you're going to hit those things, some
of those challenges, and you have to overcome those challenges right,
and you have to adopt the tools that you need
(10:52):
to or bring the people their team in that you
need to overcome those. And there's this big thing about time,
like I only I need to get this done by
this time, and sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
But you have to.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Find the love and reconnect with the purpose and the
passion of why you want this thing to happen right,
why you've set this goal in motion, and reconnect with that.
So again, just like lost pain, if this isn't aligning
(11:30):
with your purpose and it's not in the direction you
need to be headed, then this you need to have
clarity with that too. But in this transitional period that
we're talking about, this transitional space, transitional, it's hard to
say that sometimes there's transitional space. Lost pain can hold
us back from moving forward. Lost pain can make us
(11:51):
feel stagnant. We need to understand and find the joy
and focus on what we might gain, and focus on
what's on the other side and help let's that pull
us through, help it pull us forward. And then the
second one is the process pain, the illusion of time
in thinking of how of course we want it to be.
(12:12):
It'd be great if everything had woo weigh woo WOI
means effortless movement. If we have effortless movement through the process,
that is amazing. But sometimes that's just not the way
it happens. Sometimes it's going to take longer. Sometimes it's
going to cost you a little bit more, a little
bit more time, a little bit more energy. Right, Sometimes
there's going to be some hiccups in the road, and
(12:35):
it doesn't matter. I have some businesses in the product space,
I have some brick and mortar businesses, and I've done
some other things.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
And they all have process pain.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
There's not one thing that I've done yet in life
fifty years old that hasn't had some sort of discomfort
or pain. And we can't fear that process. We have
to embrace that process, and we have to find the
joy and excitement and embrace the challenge of some of it. Right,
(13:07):
how can I handle it better? How can I be
more patient with it? How can I shift? How can
I pivot? And this gets back into honoring that struggle
versus becoming the struggle that we talked about in a
previous podcast, So that transitional space within stuff. If we
don't move all the way through, then we have not
(13:30):
fulfilled something that we've set out to do. And that
on the psyche, that on our mindset, that compound effect
is horrible and is draining of energy and is not
supporting you who you are, and is going to create
(13:51):
more fear to hold you back even further. So we
do not want to get stuck in that transitional process.
The third type of pain I want to talk about.
I feel like this is a big one for me.
This is probably the one that I have I'm not
going to say I've mastered, but is not one that
typically holds me back. Now, there is a healthy let
(14:13):
me be clear here, there is a healthy balance with this,
Like you don't just move into something without thought, without
a plan, without strategy, and without a plan of execution.
So I don't want people to go rogue on this one.
But this is outcome pain. Okay, So outcome pain is
the I have this dream, I have this thought, I
(14:35):
have this business I want to start, I have this
career change, I have this whatever it is. But what
if it doesn't work out? What if I put all
this stuff into it and it doesn't it's not successful?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
What if I'm not happy? What if? And I do think?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Don't get me wrong, It's important to again have a plan,
have a strategy, think about this stuff thoroughly, but don't
let it be the sticky point that doesn't allow you
to get started on whatever it is. Your dreams are
your goals, your desires. So I jump into stuff, probably
I think about my plan, I think about the strategy,
(15:16):
I think about the execution.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I will say that because of going through.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Those transitional periods, going through that transitional space and actually
doing stuff that sometimes hasn't worked out the way that
maybe I've wanted to, and oftentimes has, that's allowed me
to build confidence and put together better plans and strategies
for dealing with outcome pain. So I don't necessarily jump
(15:44):
to the what if it doesn't work out scenario and
let it stop me.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But what I do is I.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Change that language into Okay, here's a goal, here's a
business I want to start. So, for instance, I have
just manufactured my own specific type of specialized needle that
I do for what's called down needling for chronic pain.
And so I've utilized many other needles and was not
(16:11):
happy with some of the quality, and I liked certain
things about different brands, and so to build my brand
and to have a better quality needle, I decided to
manufacture my own needle, my own custom needle. So I
built it from the scratch up and had the company
make a mold and did the branding and all that
(16:31):
fun stuff. And I didn't even I don't think about
what if I don't sell all of these right, or
what if it doesn't like. Part of my thing is
it helps also fulfill more brand awareness and drive more
students to want to take my courses. And so that's
what I really wanted to do. So, yes, I want
(16:53):
to make money selling needles, but I also want to
build the brand awareness I want to teach international. I
want to expand the technique right, and expand the brand
and drive.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
That business back to my classes.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Now there's a chance if I went to the what
if that doesn't work out? What if I spent this money,
spent the time on branding, spent the time on the
manufacturing side, and I or my first orders two thousand cylinders,
two thousand boxes of these needles. That's actually really cool too,
But but I didn't go with a box. It's a really
cool brand if you want to check it out at
(17:27):
daooneedle dot com. What if I this doesn't work out,
I've wasted this time, I've wasted this money, and I
have two thousand needle boxes and needles sitting there, two
thousand cylinders. So yeah, that's a possibility. Am I passionate
about my brand? Do I believe in it?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yes? Am I passionate about teaching? And do I want
to do more of it? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did I learn something by going through the manufacturing process
and all the ins and outs of dealing with the
manufacturing and making molds and getting CAD files built and
doing the customization?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Absolutely? Was it fun? Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So what if I have two thousand boxes and needles
and I only sell twenty percent of them?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Right?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
The great things is I'm not going to get them
any cheaper than me manufacturing them, and they have a
long life to expire, and I use them like crazy,
so I will go through them. So I didn't let
the what if stick me and not allow me to
move through that transitional space to actually fulfilling the goal.
Now if, again, if it's not something you're aligned with
(18:33):
and you're doing something that's not in your wheelhouse, then
you know you need to spend more time on.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
The back end.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
What if if I start this and put the money
into it, and put the energy and put the effort
into it and all that stuff, What would happen if
nobody buys it? What would happen if it doesn't take off?
Because you do need to have real risk assessments in place,
but don't just automatically let it stop you through that
(19:02):
transitional space of turning it into something beautiful, because the
possibilities if you have good plan, strategy, and execution and
it's aligned with who you are, can be amazing. What
if the outcome is oh my god, like it drew
awareness to a certain organization that invited me to go
(19:23):
speak in Italy at a conference, and I got to
go speak at another conference and that branding kept expanding.
And next thing and O. Instead of having seven people
in my class or fourteen people in my class, I
have forty een people in my class. And I have
to have these some student teachers helping me, and I
can increase my class prices from five hundred and forty
(19:44):
nine dollars to fifteen hundred dollars. And not only am
I having so much joy and fun teaching the courses,
but I'm also making a ton of money and I
get to travel. Right, so that focusing on that outcome
is much better than getting stuck and focusing on the
(20:04):
what if it all fails, what if it doesn't work out.
So many people don't get to live a fulfilled life
because they're holding back on their dreams, their desires, their goals,
their passions, right because they get stuck in this outcome
paign scenario, the what ifs, the so common what ifs. Yeah,
(20:31):
I am an eternal optimist. I am a growth mindset
individual for sure.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But even if you.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Tend not to be in that space, just stop and
think about the transitional space that you're in from thought
to action, from honoring a struggle place and wanting to
jump into something and know that there's going to be
some and getting out of that space of becoming the
strung in the what ifs, right, because that's that language
(21:03):
you're not going to know, and you will be stagnant
and you will not feel as much joy and fulfillment
and all those beautiful things that comes with kicking ass
and making it through that transitional process and seeing what's
on the other side. And we can choose to see
(21:25):
all the negative stuff that could be on the other side,
or we could choose to see all the beautiful, amazing
stuff that can be on the other side too. Again,
this mindset stuff is hard, but we all share a
commonality of struggle within that transitional space. And I love
Brendan's instead of oh there's just pain, right, there's just struggle,
(21:48):
there's just friction in this transitional space.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I love it gave me clarity on.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
The common things that we all have in that space
and a little more identity for me to be able
to step back and be like, oh, that's lost pain.
Oh okay, what am I afraid of losing? And how
can I shift that and focus on what can I gain?
Or Oh that's process pain and shifting my mind of
(22:15):
don't take it personally. God, there's going to be struggles, right,
There's all kinds of things. Maybe it's about the permits.
Maybe if it's about the employees. Maybe it's about the organization.
Or I don't have enough team and I don't have
enough money to hire more team, And you have to
embrace the creativity and the flexibility at that point and
the joy and excitement of you.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Know what, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I got this right, and if I don't have some
of the tools I need to get it, I'm going
to get those tools and I'm going to put them
in place because I got this. There's nothing that can
stop me. There's nothing that can stop you. Right, You've
got this or that is it? The outcome pain?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
What if?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Right, We'll turn to what if and the negative picture afterwards,
and the what if and put the amazing picture afterwards. Right,
Let's shift that frequency, ship that vibration from that negative
space that you know and move it into that growth
mindset space. Now, we always have to do it responsible.
(23:18):
So I'm not saying just jump in both feet. I'm
saying jump in.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Put together your vision, your playing, your strategy, how you're
going to execute.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
You still have to have those pieces.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Right and have fun with it, and just stop and
think about where am I at in this transitional space
of moving towards the things I want?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And did you get three quarters of the.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Way there and put the brakes on? Were you moving
towards that thing? Hit a couple bumps in the road,
and all of a sudden you just stopped. And if
that's happened to you before, or if that's happening to
you now, then just stop and be like, what the
hell and what was that about?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Okay? Why am I?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Why do I feel friction? Or why do I feel anxiety?
Why do I feel fear? Why am I trying to
avoid this? Those are things, little kind of signs that
can pop up to show we're stuck right in that process,
stuck in that transitional space. Okay, I've identified some language,
(24:30):
I've identified some feelings that are showing that I'm stuck
in this space, in this transitional space. My thing's not
moving forward anymore. What's happening? Oh, I've realized there's some
friction there. I realize that I'm concerned about what I
might lose, right, how much more time? How much more money?
How much more angst right? Or how much more stuff
(24:55):
do I have to deal with the process of it right?
How much more time is this going to take or outcome?
But if it doesn't work out the way I want
it to, what if nobody likes it? What if I
get shamed? What if I feel stupid? What if I
feel There's so much you can do? So to stop,
take a moment, reflect, catch yourself in one of those
(25:17):
shift that language for yourself. I feel so much better
talking about this because I have a lot going on,
and I catch myself in certain things it's oh okay.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
So even though I.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Exercise this work, even though I spend time thinking about this,
you can never think about it enough. You can never
hear it from different people from different perspectives. This is
one framework, idea concept that can help bring clarity to
where you're at. Keep that input coming right, keep the
(25:49):
growth mindset coming, keep developing the tools to help you
become aware of what that transitional space feels like and
looks like. And the point of this is helping you
develop a more intimate relationship and visceral sense of that
space between those two points. Right, and the example of
(26:12):
me piggybacking this podcast on the previous podcast. I don't
know when it was played last podcast or so ago
about honoring the struggle. Are you in a place of
honoring the struggle or you in a place of becoming
the struggle? Or maybe this is a transitional space that
is just about you reaching towards a goal, reaching towards vision,
reaching towards something you desire, right, a transitional space for
(26:36):
you evolving into your next level in life, whether it's relationships, careers,
whatever it is. So what are you moving towards? And
that space of moving towards it, there's these components. There's
this energy, right, and if you start to feel like
you're stuck, or you start to feel some of those
(26:57):
things that we talked about, some of those emotions and
you're connecting with some of those words, just recognize it, right,
honor it again. That's honoring the struggle of it and
then changing that mindset, changing the vocabulary, changing the identity
around it, changing the energy, and being able to add
(27:18):
those other components to help pull you forward and pull
you out of that space. We are all in this together.
I got your back, Amy's got your back. There's so
many great people out there doing so many great things
in the mindset space and working with this stuff. And
I'm grateful for all the people who I've learned from.
(27:38):
I challenge you and encourage you and want to inspire
you to please start doing more of this work. It's
this stuff for me that has helped get me through
so many moments in life. And I want to help
you and I want this to be something that you
can do to help get you through those I want
(28:00):
to help you fill fulfilled in your life, to overcome
those thnks, to not get stuck in the transitional space
that's not allowing.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You to move forward.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Let's grow together. I thank you guys for listening to this.
Amy can't wait to do the next podcast with you.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So for all of.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You listening right now to All Things Good for You podcast,
I hope that you have found a gem, your gold nugget,
your thing that inspired you in here today. And please,
as always, I can never say it enough, share this podcast.
We are trying to get to our one hundredth podcast
of All Things Good for You by the end of
(28:42):
the year, and we would love to see those reviews
out there from you. And if you know of somebody
who's struggling, that's trying to transition or move into a
different space and it needs a little support. Please past
this podcast on to them and again download. Thank you
(29:05):
everybody for listening. Appreciate you Mike.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the All
Things Good for You podcast. Please note, any information, experiences, ideas,
or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking
purposes only, and not intended as medical advice. If anything
piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal
medical professional. And if you're enjoying All Things Good for
(29:32):
Your podcast, pop on over and leave us a five
star review so we can continue delving in and providing
great content. Thanks again, and we hope you are inspired
to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.
Focus on what can I gain by pushing through this
transitional period? And I recognize there's some lost pain in here.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Stop. Do I need to pivot? Do I need to
do this?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I need to keep pushing through this process. There once
I get to the other side, here's what I am
going to gain on it?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Okay, what are you going to.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Gain from it?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hey? Friends, thank you for listening to the All Things
Good for You Podcast. Join us as we explore ancient traditions,
modern tools and practices in the world of health, wellness,
and personal development. I'm Amy Christensen, your host and your
curated mind coach, and.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I'm your co host Brian Bowen, founder of Integrative Health, Inc.
And Better Human Company High Performance Coaching. Are you ready
to take control of your life and start feeling enthusiastic, empowered,
and limitless each and.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Every day for a life well lived? Let your curiosity
flow with.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
All Things Good for You.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Hello, and thank you for listening to All Things Good
for Your podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Happy whatever day it might be for you right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Thank you
for taking your time on your day to listen to
this podcast. I am Brian Bowen and my cost Amy
Christiansen is not with us today. I will miss her
as always when I do these little shorts, but I'm
excited to do a short for you guys today to
(01:34):
drop a little something in for your week. This is
going to be a follow up on a previous short
that I did on honoring the struggle. If you're in
a place of honoring the struggle or if you've become
the struggle, and I want to focus this podcast more
about that space between honoring the struggle and becoming the struggle.
(01:59):
I feel like it's easy to talk about the endpoints.
It's easier to talk about one end of the extreme
to the other end, but it's the transitional space between
that can be a real challenge. So I always feel
like when I'm struggling with something or something is.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hard, I just stop and say I.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Need more clarity. And so that's what I want to
do today. I want to bring just a little bit
more clarity to that space between.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Those two places.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And we can even think about it as this space
between in growth, right if I'm moving towards something and
or it could be the space between honoring the struggle
and that you have become the struggle. So whatever it is,
there is a common space that we need to speak
more about, and that transitional space.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Because it is that space.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
That defines how we move forward or if we become
stagnant in that space, or if we fall backward, or
if we go retro right, So we don't want to
go retro. We want to go We want to be
moving forward. And it's easy to get stuck in that space.
(03:24):
It's common to get stuck in this transitional space. And
I'm going to drop a little credit and something I
like from one of my mentors, Brendan Brouchard, because I
believe that these three things that he discusses is very
important to bringing clarity about that transitional space and why
(03:46):
we can get stuck in that space or even go
backwards and not move in the proper direction, to not
move forward. So in that space, in that transitional space,
there can be pain, and it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
This is emotional pain.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
It doesn't have to always be physical or super traumatic pain,
something of that intensity level.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
This is the normal day stuff people that we're all
that we all struggle with.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This is mindset stuff, the mindset stuff that we're going
to talk about this type of pain. Brendan defines three
types of pain, lost pain, process pain, and outcome pain.
And as I observe my stuff when I'm moving through
and I'm trying to move towards something and I hit
these hiccups or speed bumps in the road, or I
(04:39):
get stuck or I become stagnant, right, I can literally
stop and identify with one of these types of pain.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And it's important when you're on a.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Path and the bumps are in the road, the winds
of life are throwing stuff at you to be able
to stop and have a little clarity about what the
are and how they're affecting you. If you're holding back
and if you're deciding not to let loose, right, if
(05:10):
you're not as vibrant or whatever it is, stop and
just let's see if we can identify with one of
these and help us move through it. Okay, So the
first one is lost pain, and that basically is describing
the fear of things that you might have to lose
or that you're losing, whether it's people or material things
(05:33):
or whatever that you're worried about losing. If you're taking
these certain actions and putting focus on moving towards this thing,
and a lot of times it's money, right, I don't
I'm put my best foot forward into this project and
I'm not seeing the reward yet, and I've been putting
(05:57):
money in it and I can't move forward. And there's
a space in that where it's wait, You've like when
do you know to pull the plug? Or when do
you know to keep forward? And there's that little transition
where we might not have moved forward enough because we
feared about more loss. I've put enough time and energy
(06:19):
into this project and I haven't seen I haven't reaped
the benefit yet. How do you know you've stood your
ground long enough? How do you know that you've put
the right type of energy, How do you know you've
put the right type of focus? How can you pause
it and realize, Hey, I'm stuck in this right now
because I have a fear of losing more of my time,
of losing more of my energy, of losing more money.
(06:41):
And I know there's a crap load of books out there,
and I've read a lot of them, most of them
that are like, hey, you have to if there's that
energy there, it's time to you have to cut it.
Loose right, put that energy into the things that's given
you eighty percent of the results. And I don't disagree
with a lot of some of the other ideas or philosophies.
(07:04):
I do feel like if you're doing something that aligns
with your values, which we talked about in a previous podcast,
that you have to be able to.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Put You have to put energy into it.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You have to put the processes together, and you have
to sometimes push through, and you have to pivot, and
you have to overcome challenges, and you have to honor
the struggle, like we talked about in a previous podcasts,
and you have to know when to stand your ground
to push through. And sometimes we don't stand the ground
long enough to be able to get to the results,
(07:36):
so you end up wasting your time, and you end
up wasting your money, right or whatever other resources.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It is.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So if you're stuck or stagnant because you feel the
fear of what I might lose, think about what that
fear is and think about the stuff that you're going
to gain. So, and I'm talking about if this thing
you're doing aligns with your values, aligns with your purpose,
(08:04):
aligns with your passions, is something that nurtures you as
something that undoubtedly at a visceral sense, you're like, I
want to do this, I have to do this.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
This is my thing, this is my jam.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You have to honor that, you have to support that,
and just recognize if you are stuck, if you're stagnant,
if you're going backwards in this thing that you're doing,
what is it that's happening? What is it that what's
going on in the mindset. When we're doing certain therapies
at my clinic with people, there's a time where I'm like, no,
(08:37):
I know we need to do this is the therapy
we need, or maybe it's a combination of therapies, and
there's a little bit of a roller coaster ride. We
print this document out for people at the very beginning
that you know, healing can be a roller coaster. Some
days it's going to feel better, some days it's going
to feel worse, and eventually the better days compound and
overcome the days where there's worse days, and eventually we
(09:00):
get ahead of it. And so that's that transitional period
I'm talking about, right, So we have to stick it,
We have to we have to do this therapy this
many times and here's our metrics that we're going to
look at to make sure we're moving in the right
direction and we know we're moving.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Ahead of it. What is it?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Or Okay, it's time to call it. We've done this enough,
Like what does that look like for you? But just
have clarity around it, right and focus on what can
I gain by pushing through this transitional period? And I've
recognized there's some lost pain in here. Stop do I
need to pivot? Do I need to do this? But
I need to keep pushing through this process there once
(09:38):
I get to the other side, here's what I am
going to gain from it? Okay, what are you going
to gain from it? The second type of pain is
process pain, and man process pain.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That's one that commonly comes up for me, certainly, I
think more than the loss pain.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And it's about the fear of how much.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Energy and how long it's going to take and how
challenging the.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Path is going to be.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
So that can be a big one because sometimes we
don't like to play the long game. We like the
short game. We like it to be quick, we like
it to be we don't like it to be messy.
And then anytime, little hiccups can come at us or
challenges with other people. That's part of that process that
we have to overcome. It can be, it cannot be fun,
(10:31):
and that this is certainly one that can pull you
from honoring the struggle right into becoming the struggle, because
that's just the way it is. And sometimes we have
to know that you're going to hit those things, some
of those challenges, and you have to overcome those challenges right,
and you have to adopt the tools that you need
(10:52):
to or bring the people their team in that you
need to overcome those. And there's this big thing about time,
like I only I need to get this done by
this time, and sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
But you have to.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Find the love and reconnect with the purpose and the
passion of why you want this thing to happen right,
why you've set this goal in motion, and reconnect with that.
So again, just like lost pain, if this isn't aligning
(11:30):
with your purpose and it's not in the direction you
need to be headed, then this you need to have
clarity with that too. But in this transitional period that
we're talking about, this transitional space, transitional, it's hard to
say that sometimes there's transitional space. Lost pain can hold
us back from moving forward. Lost pain can make us
(11:51):
feel stagnant. We need to understand and find the joy
and focus on what we might gain, and focus on
what's on the other side and help let's that pull
us through, help it pull us forward. And then the
second one is the process pain, the illusion of time
in thinking of how of course we want it to be.
(12:12):
It'd be great if everything had woo weigh woo WOI
means effortless movement. If we have effortless movement through the process,
that is amazing. But sometimes that's just not the way
it happens. Sometimes it's going to take longer. Sometimes it's
going to cost you a little bit more, a little
bit more time, a little bit more energy. Right, Sometimes
there's going to be some hiccups in the road, and
(12:35):
it doesn't matter. I have some businesses in the product space,
I have some brick and mortar businesses, and I've done
some other things.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
And they all have process pain.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
There's not one thing that I've done yet in life
fifty years old that hasn't had some sort of discomfort
or pain. And we can't fear that process. We have
to embrace that process, and we have to find the
joy and excitement and embrace the challenge of some of it. Right,
(13:07):
how can I handle it better? How can I be
more patient with it? How can I shift? How can
I pivot? And this gets back into honoring that struggle
versus becoming the struggle that we talked about in a
previous podcast, So that transitional space within stuff. If we
don't move all the way through, then we have not
(13:30):
fulfilled something that we've set out to do. And that
on the psyche, that on our mindset, that compound effect
is horrible and is draining of energy and is not
supporting you who you are, and is going to create
(13:51):
more fear to hold you back even further. So we
do not want to get stuck in that transitional process.
The third type of pain I want to talk about.
I feel like this is a big one for me.
This is probably the one that I have I'm not
going to say I've mastered, but is not one that
typically holds me back. Now, there is a healthy let
(14:13):
me be clear here, there is a healthy balance with this,
Like you don't just move into something without thought, without
a plan, without strategy, and without a plan of execution.
So I don't want people to go rogue on this one.
But this is outcome pain. Okay, So outcome pain is
the I have this dream, I have this thought, I
(14:35):
have this business I want to start, I have this
career change, I have this whatever it is. But what
if it doesn't work out? What if I put all
this stuff into it and it doesn't it's not successful?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
What if I'm not happy? What if? And I do think?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Don't get me wrong, It's important to again have a plan,
have a strategy, think about this stuff thoroughly, but don't
let it be the sticky point that doesn't allow you
to get started on whatever it is. Your dreams are
your goals, your desires. So I jump into stuff, probably
I think about my plan, I think about the strategy,
(15:16):
I think about the execution.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I will say that because of going through.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Those transitional periods, going through that transitional space and actually
doing stuff that sometimes hasn't worked out the way that
maybe I've wanted to, and oftentimes has, that's allowed me
to build confidence and put together better plans and strategies
for dealing with outcome pain. So I don't necessarily jump
(15:44):
to the what if it doesn't work out scenario and
let it stop me.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But what I do is I.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Change that language into Okay, here's a goal, here's a
business I want to start. So, for instance, I have
just manufactured my own specific type of specialized needle that
I do for what's called down needling for chronic pain.
And so I've utilized many other needles and was not
(16:11):
happy with some of the quality, and I liked certain
things about different brands, and so to build my brand
and to have a better quality needle, I decided to
manufacture my own needle, my own custom needle. So I
built it from the scratch up and had the company
make a mold and did the branding and all that
(16:31):
fun stuff. And I didn't even I don't think about
what if I don't sell all of these right, or
what if it doesn't like. Part of my thing is
it helps also fulfill more brand awareness and drive more
students to want to take my courses. And so that's
what I really wanted to do. So, yes, I want
(16:53):
to make money selling needles, but I also want to
build the brand awareness I want to teach international. I
want to expand the technique right, and expand the brand
and drive.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
That business back to my classes.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Now there's a chance if I went to the what
if that doesn't work out? What if I spent this money,
spent the time on branding, spent the time on the
manufacturing side, and I or my first orders two thousand cylinders,
two thousand boxes of these needles. That's actually really cool too,
But but I didn't go with a box. It's a really
cool brand if you want to check it out at
(17:27):
daooneedle dot com. What if I this doesn't work out,
I've wasted this time, I've wasted this money, and I
have two thousand needle boxes and needles sitting there, two
thousand cylinders. So yeah, that's a possibility. Am I passionate
about my brand? Do I believe in it?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yes? Am I passionate about teaching? And do I want
to do more of it? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did I learn something by going through the manufacturing process
and all the ins and outs of dealing with the
manufacturing and making molds and getting CAD files built and
doing the customization?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Absolutely? Was it fun? Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So what if I have two thousand boxes and needles
and I only sell twenty percent of them?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Right?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
The great things is I'm not going to get them
any cheaper than me manufacturing them, and they have a
long life to expire, and I use them like crazy,
so I will go through them. So I didn't let
the what if stick me and not allow me to
move through that transitional space to actually fulfilling the goal.
Now if, again, if it's not something you're aligned with
(18:33):
and you're doing something that's not in your wheelhouse, then
you know you need to spend more time on.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
The back end.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
What if if I start this and put the money
into it, and put the energy and put the effort
into it and all that stuff, What would happen if
nobody buys it? What would happen if it doesn't take off?
Because you do need to have real risk assessments in place,
but don't just automatically let it stop you through that
(19:02):
transitional space of turning it into something beautiful, because the
possibilities if you have good plan, strategy, and execution and
it's aligned with who you are, can be amazing. What
if the outcome is oh my god, like it drew
awareness to a certain organization that invited me to go
(19:23):
speak in Italy at a conference, and I got to
go speak at another conference and that branding kept expanding.
And next thing and O. Instead of having seven people
in my class or fourteen people in my class, I
have forty een people in my class. And I have
to have these some student teachers helping me, and I
can increase my class prices from five hundred and forty
(19:44):
nine dollars to fifteen hundred dollars. And not only am
I having so much joy and fun teaching the courses,
but I'm also making a ton of money and I
get to travel. Right, so that focusing on that outcome
is much better than getting stuck and focusing on the
(20:04):
what if it all fails, what if it doesn't work out.
So many people don't get to live a fulfilled life
because they're holding back on their dreams, their desires, their goals,
their passions, right because they get stuck in this outcome
paign scenario, the what ifs, the so common what ifs. Yeah,
(20:31):
I am an eternal optimist. I am a growth mindset
individual for sure.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But even if you.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Tend not to be in that space, just stop and
think about the transitional space that you're in from thought
to action, from honoring a struggle place and wanting to
jump into something and know that there's going to be
some and getting out of that space of becoming the
strung in the what ifs, right, because that's that language
(21:03):
you're not going to know, and you will be stagnant
and you will not feel as much joy and fulfillment
and all those beautiful things that comes with kicking ass
and making it through that transitional process and seeing what's
on the other side. And we can choose to see
(21:25):
all the negative stuff that could be on the other side,
or we could choose to see all the beautiful, amazing
stuff that can be on the other side too. Again,
this mindset stuff is hard, but we all share a
commonality of struggle within that transitional space. And I love
Brendan's instead of oh there's just pain, right, there's just struggle,
(21:48):
there's just friction in this transitional space.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I love it gave me clarity on.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
The common things that we all have in that space
and a little more identity for me to be able
to step back and be like, oh, that's lost pain.
Oh okay, what am I afraid of losing? And how
can I shift that and focus on what can I gain?
Or Oh that's process pain and shifting my mind of
(22:15):
don't take it personally. God, there's going to be struggles, right,
There's all kinds of things. Maybe it's about the permits.
Maybe if it's about the employees. Maybe it's about the organization.
Or I don't have enough team and I don't have
enough money to hire more team, And you have to
embrace the creativity and the flexibility at that point and
the joy and excitement of you.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Know what, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I got this right, and if I don't have some
of the tools I need to get it, I'm going
to get those tools and I'm going to put them
in place because I got this. There's nothing that can
stop me. There's nothing that can stop you. Right, You've
got this or that is it? The outcome pain?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
What if?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Right, We'll turn to what if and the negative picture afterwards,
and the what if and put the amazing picture afterwards. Right,
Let's shift that frequency, ship that vibration from that negative
space that you know and move it into that growth
mindset space. Now, we always have to do it responsible.
(23:18):
So I'm not saying just jump in both feet. I'm
saying jump in.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Put together your vision, your playing, your strategy, how you're
going to execute.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
You still have to have those pieces.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Right and have fun with it, and just stop and
think about where am I at in this transitional space
of moving towards the things I want?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And did you get three quarters of the.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Way there and put the brakes on? Were you moving
towards that thing? Hit a couple bumps in the road,
and all of a sudden you just stopped. And if
that's happened to you before, or if that's happening to
you now, then just stop and be like, what the
hell and what was that about?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Okay? Why am I?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Why do I feel friction? Or why do I feel anxiety?
Why do I feel fear? Why am I trying to
avoid this? Those are things, little kind of signs that
can pop up to show we're stuck right in that process,
stuck in that transitional space. Okay, I've identified some language,
(24:30):
I've identified some feelings that are showing that I'm stuck
in this space, in this transitional space. My thing's not
moving forward anymore. What's happening? Oh, I've realized there's some
friction there. I realize that I'm concerned about what I
might lose, right, how much more time? How much more money?
How much more angst right? Or how much more stuff
(24:55):
do I have to deal with the process of it right?
How much more time is this going to take or outcome?
But if it doesn't work out the way I want
it to, what if nobody likes it? What if I
get shamed? What if I feel stupid? What if I
feel There's so much you can do? So to stop,
take a moment, reflect, catch yourself in one of those
(25:17):
shift that language for yourself. I feel so much better
talking about this because I have a lot going on,
and I catch myself in certain things it's oh okay.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
So even though I.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Exercise this work, even though I spend time thinking about this,
you can never think about it enough. You can never
hear it from different people from different perspectives. This is
one framework, idea concept that can help bring clarity to
where you're at. Keep that input coming right, keep the
(25:49):
growth mindset coming, keep developing the tools to help you
become aware of what that transitional space feels like and
looks like. And the point of this is helping you
develop a more intimate relationship and visceral sense of that
space between those two points. Right, and the example of
(26:12):
me piggybacking this podcast on the previous podcast. I don't
know when it was played last podcast or so ago
about honoring the struggle. Are you in a place of
honoring the struggle or you in a place of becoming
the struggle? Or maybe this is a transitional space that
is just about you reaching towards a goal, reaching towards vision,
reaching towards something you desire, right, a transitional space for
(26:36):
you evolving into your next level in life, whether it's relationships, careers,
whatever it is. So what are you moving towards? And
that space of moving towards it, there's these components. There's
this energy, right, and if you start to feel like
you're stuck, or you start to feel some of those
(26:57):
things that we talked about, some of those emotions and
you're connecting with some of those words, just recognize it, right,
honor it again. That's honoring the struggle of it and
then changing that mindset, changing the vocabulary, changing the identity
around it, changing the energy, and being able to add
(27:18):
those other components to help pull you forward and pull
you out of that space. We are all in this together.
I got your back, Amy's got your back. There's so
many great people out there doing so many great things
in the mindset space and working with this stuff. And
I'm grateful for all the people who I've learned from.
(27:38):
I challenge you and encourage you and want to inspire
you to please start doing more of this work. It's
this stuff for me that has helped get me through
so many moments in life. And I want to help
you and I want this to be something that you
can do to help get you through those I want
(28:00):
to help you fill fulfilled in your life, to overcome
those thnks, to not get stuck in the transitional space
that's not allowing.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You to move forward.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Let's grow together. I thank you guys for listening to this.
Amy can't wait to do the next podcast with you.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So for all of.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You listening right now to All Things Good for You podcast,
I hope that you have found a gem, your gold nugget,
your thing that inspired you in here today. And please,
as always, I can never say it enough, share this podcast.
We are trying to get to our one hundredth podcast
of All Things Good for You by the end of
(28:42):
the year, and we would love to see those reviews
out there from you. And if you know of somebody
who's struggling, that's trying to transition or move into a
different space and it needs a little support. Please past
this podcast on to them and again download. Thank you
(29:05):
everybody for listening. Appreciate you Mike.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the All
Things Good for You podcast. Please note, any information, experiences, ideas,
or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking
purposes only, and not intended as medical advice. If anything
piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal
medical professional. And if you're enjoying All Things Good for
(29:32):
Your podcast, pop on over and leave us a five
star review so we can continue delving in and providing
great content. Thanks again, and we hope you are inspired
to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.
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