March 18, 2025 • 42 mins
Panic attacks can feel like they take control of your entire body, leaving you powerless in the moment. But what if you had a set of proven techniques to stop them in their tracks? In this episode, we break down the science behind panic, why it happens, and the best strategies to regain control—no matter where you are.
What You’ll Learn:
Final Thought:Panic attacks don’t define you, and they don’t have to control your life. The right tools, perspective shifts, and daily practices can make a huge difference. If you know someone who struggles with panic or social anxiety, share this episode with them. Let’s make sense of this sh*t together!
What You’ll Learn:
- How panic attacks hijack your brain and body
- The best grounding techniques to stop panic fast
- Why humor can be a secret weapon against anxiety
- How to rewire your brain’s fear response with exposure therapy
- Practical tools for handling anxiety in social situations
Final Thought:Panic attacks don’t define you, and they don’t have to control your life. The right tools, perspective shifts, and daily practices can make a huge difference. If you know someone who struggles with panic or social anxiety, share this episode with them. Let’s make sense of this sh*t together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Panic attacks can feel like a sudden storm, appearing without
warning and shaking us to our core. The racing heartbeat,
the shallow breathing, the overwhelming sense of dread. It's enough
to make anyone feel trapped in their own mind. For
those with CPTSD, these moments can be particularly intense, especially
in social settings where past trauma is triggered. The fear
(00:22):
of judgment, the pressure to perform, the unpredictability of social interactions.
These factors can amplify the experience of panic, making it
feel inescapable. But here's the good news. Panic attacks, though powerful,
do not define you, and there are ways to manage
them effectively. You are not powerless against them. Today, we're
(00:44):
going to walk through strategies that work, breaking down the
panic response and giving you the tools to regain control.
Social situations can be a battlefield for those carrying the
weight of complex trauma. The mere thought of walking into
a crowded space, making small top or facing unpredictable interactions
can set off a cascade of anxiety. It's not just
(01:06):
about shyness or introversion. It's about feeling emotionally exposed, like
the ground beneath you could give way. At any moment,
your mind replays past experiences where you felt helpless or unsafe,
even if the current situation poses no real threat. That's
why this episode is so important. If you've ever found
yourself avoiding gatherings, dreading work meetings, or feeling exhausted after socializing,
(01:31):
this episode will help you understand why. More importantly, it
will equip you with practical ways to navigate these experiences
with confidence and self compassion. We'll explore the physiological and
psychological aspects of panic attacks. What's happening in your brain
and body when anxiety hijacks the moment, The fight or
flight response kicks in your amygdala, sounds the alarm, and
(01:55):
before you know it, your body is in full crisis mode.
But this this response, though automatic, is something we can
learn to regulate. Will also introduce evidence based techniques that
can bring immediate relief and long term change, from mindfulness
practices to grounding exercises. Will walk through what truly helps
in the moment and what can set you up for
(02:17):
success in the long run. If you're someone who has
struggled with feeling safe in social spaces, know that you're
not alone. So many people experience this same internal battle,
even if they seem calm on the outside. We'll also
be sharing stories from listeners who have faced these challenges
and found ways to move through them. It's about learning, growing,
(02:41):
and giving yourself the permission to approach social interactions in
a way that feels right for you. Healing is not
about forcing yourself to be someone you're not. It's about
understanding your needs and responding to them with kindness. By
the end of this episode, you'll have a toolkit of
practical stratusies to use whenever panic strikes, and more importantly,
(03:04):
you'll begin to shift your mindset about what these moments mean.
Panic is not a sign of failure. It's not proof
that you're broken. It's a signal one that can be
understood and responded to with compassion and skill. The goal
is not to eliminate fear entirely, but to change your
relationship with it. Stick with us, because by the end
(03:24):
of this conversation, you'll have a roadmap to face these
moments with more confidence and ease. Before we dive in,
a quick reminder, if you find this podcast helpful, consider
joining our Supporters Club for just three dollars a month.
Your support helps us keep creating valuable content and providing
a space for healing and growth. Details can be found
(03:45):
in the episode description wherever you listen to your podcasts now,
let's get started on breaking down panic attacks and reclaiming
your sense of control. For many people living with CPTSD,
social situations don't just bring mild nervousness. They trigger a
deep sense of fear, often rooted in past experiences of rejection, abandonment,
(04:06):
or harm. It's not just about walking into a room
full of people and feeling a little awkward. It's about
a flood of emotions that feel uncontrollable, sometimes hitting before
a social event even begins. The anticipation itself can become
a source of distress, leading to avoidance behaviors that, over
time reinforce isolation. Some find themselves freezing up, unable to
(04:29):
find the words to respond in conversations, while others experience
an overwhelming urge to leave their hearts pounding as their
bodies scream at them to escape. The body's fight or
flight response is so intense that it can feel as
though survival is at stake, even when logic tells them otherwise.
These reactions are deeply ingrained, often the result of repeated
(04:52):
past experiences where social settings were linked to feelings of humiliation, danger,
or rejection. The emotional exhaustion of constantly anticipating threats can
make everyday interactions feel like insurmountable challenges. I remember speaking
with a listener who shared their experience of attending a
close friend's wedding. They were excited to be there, looking
(05:15):
forward to celebrating an important moment in their friend's life,
but the moment they stepped into the reception, something shifted.
The noise, the crowded space, the unstructured nature of conversations,
it all felt overwhelming. They could feel their heart racing,
their breathing becoming shallow, their mind repeatedly telling them they
(05:37):
needed to leave. What was supposed to be a joyful
event turned into a battle between their rational mind and
their trauma response. They ended up hiding in the bathroom
for nearly an hour before mustering up the strength to return,
trying to act as if nothing had happened, even though
they were emotionally drained. The fear of appearing rude or
(05:59):
disappointing their friend only made the experience more difficult, But
at the moment, their body and mind weren't cooperating with
their desire to stay present. This highlights how even positive
social events can be overshadowed by the weight of past trauma.
This experience is not uncommon. Many people with CPTSD struggle
(06:20):
with social anxiety, not because they don't want to connect
with others, but because their nervous system perceives social interactions
as a threat. Past experiences of trauma condition the brain
to anticipate danger in these moments, even when no real
threat is present. It's why certain environments, crowded rooms, unfamiliar places,
high pressure social settings can feel intolerable. The logical part
(06:44):
of the brain knows everything is fine, but the body
refuses to listen. For some even casual encounters like small
talk at work or a quick interaction with a stranger,
can bring an overwhelming sense of dread. These seemingly simple
interactions often carry an emotional weight that others might not understand,
making it even harder to explain why these situations feel
(07:06):
so daunting. The fear of judgment, of saying the wrong thing,
or of being misunderstood can make socializing a constant challenge,
leading to over analysis and self doubt. Another listener described
how work meetings were their biggest trigger. Sitting in a
conference room knowing they might be called on to speak
(07:27):
made them feel physically sick. Their palms would sweat, their
throat would tighten, and they'd spend the entire meeting rehearsing
what they might say, terrified of making a mistake. Even
when they weren't required to speak, the fear of being
perceived as awkward or incompetent kept them from engaging naturally.
By the time the meeting ended, they were exhausted, not
(07:50):
because of the content of the discussion, but because their
body had been on high alert the entire time. That
hypervigilance can last long after the meeting is over, leaving
them drained for the rest of the day. The mental
energy spent on trying to appear normal and avoiding perceived
social pitfalls is exhausting in ways that many don't realize.
(08:12):
The impact extends beyond the workplace, affecting friendships, family gatherings,
and even routine errands, and it's not just formal settings.
One listener shared how even casual social gatherings with friends
or family felt like a performance. They would rehearse conversations
in their head beforehand, imagining worst case scenarios and crafting
(08:33):
responses in advance. But despite their preparation, they still felt
drained and emotionally raw after interactions. They described feeling like
an actor in a play, constantly monitoring their words and
expressions to make sure they were saying the right thing.
The fear of being judged or misunderstood made it difficult
(08:53):
to relax, even in settings that were supposed to feel safe.
This hyper awareness of social interaction is often a survival strategy,
one that was developed early in life but continues long
after the original danger is gone. This constant need for
vigilance prevents people from experiencing the joy of connection and
instead turns relationships into sources of stress. The impact of
(09:18):
CPTSD on social life can be profound. Many people with
complex trauma histories struggle to maintain friendships, not because they
don't care about others, but because socializing feels like an
emotionally draining task. It's common to overanalyze past conversations, ruminate
on whether they said the wrong thing, or feel guilty
(09:38):
for not reaching out to friends. More often, some people
withdraw entirely, avoiding social situations altogether, while others push themselves
into them, despite the discomfort, leaving them exhausted and overwhelmed.
The cycle of avoiding and enduring social events rather than
enjoying them, reinforces the belief that these interactions are in
(10:00):
inherently stressful. The toll this takes on self esteem can
be significant, as people begin to see themselves as incapable
of connection, reinforcing feelings of loneliness and isolation. These responses
aren't simply social anxiety in the typical sense. They are
the remnants of trauma, resurfacing in moments that require vulnerability.
(10:21):
Social interactions often demand spontaneity, and for those with CPTSD,
that unpredictability can be terrifying. Many people with trauma histories
grew up in environments where they had to be hyper
aware of others moods, constantly monitoring for potential danger. That
survival mechanism, while necessary at the time, becomes a barrier
(10:42):
to connection in adulthood. It's not that they don't want
to form relationships, it's that their nervous system has been
wired to view social interactions as a potential threat, making
it difficult to trust and let their guard down, even
if logically they know they are safe, the bodies can do.
Response to social stimuli can feel overwhelming. Over time. This
(11:05):
can lead to a learned helplessness, where the idea of
change feels impossible, even though it is within reach. Despite
the challenges, there is hope. The first step is recognizing
that these reactions are not personal failings. You're not antisocial, weak,
or incapable. You're someone whose nervous system has been shaped
(11:26):
by past experiences. It's a conditioned response, not a reflection
of your worth or ability to connect with others. By
understanding the root of these feelings, you can begin to
approach them with compassion rather than frustration. Healing doesn't mean
forcing yourself into overwhelming situations or pretending social anxiety isn't there.
(11:46):
It means gradually learning how to soothe your nervous system,
create safety within yourself, and set boundaries that work for you. Small,
manageable steps towards social interactions rather than avoidance or forced exposure,
can help rewire the brain's association with these situations. With time, patience,
and the right tools, it is possible to regain confidence
(12:09):
and experience genuine connection without fear dominating the experience. In
the next section, we'll dive into the science behind why
these responses occur and what can be done to shift them.
Because while your past may have shaped you, it does
not have to control you forever. There are tools, techniques,
and approaches that can help retrain your nervous system, allowing
(12:32):
you to experience social situations with less fear and more ease.
It won't happen overnight, but with time and patience, meaningful
change is possible. Your social life can become something you
engage in with curiosity and joy rather than fear and exhaustion.
Understanding why social anxiety and panic attacks happen requires a
(12:54):
look at the brain's response to perceive threats. When someone
with CPTSD encounters a social situation that feels overwhelming, their
nervous system often reacts as if they are in immediate danger.
This is because of how trauma reshapes the brain, particularly
the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, three key areas involved
(13:14):
in processing, fear, memory, and decision making. Trauma rewires these areas,
making social interactions more challenging and reinforcing patterns of hypervigilance, avoidance,
and distress. Over time, these responses become ingrained, making social
engagement feel exhausting or even impossible. The more these patterns
(13:34):
are reinforced, the harder it becomes to trust social environments
and relax in the presence of others. The amygdala, often
referred to as the brain's alarm system, plays a crucial
role in detecting threats. For individuals with CPTSD, this part
of the brain is hyperactive, meaning it sounds the alarm
even when there is no real danger. Something as simple
(13:56):
as a loud noise and unexpected question, or even prolonged
eye contact can trigger this response, sending a flood of
stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline through the body. This
reaction prepares the person to either fight, flee, or freeze,
which is why social anxiety can feel so physically intense.
The pounding heart, sweaty palms, and tight chest are not
(14:19):
just emotional responses. They are the body's way of gearing
up for survival even when survival is not at risk.
The brain, unable to distinguish between past trauma and present safety,
reacts with intense urgency, making it incredibly difficult to remain
calm in social settings. The hippocampus, responsible for storing and
processing memories is also affected by trauma. It can misinterpret
(14:43):
present situations based on past experiences, leading to a sense
of danger even when none exists. This is why someone
with CPTSD might find themselves overwhelmed in a social setting
that resembles past traumatic events, even if nothing bad is
happening in the present moment. The brain is working on
association rather than logic, triggering a defensive response before the
(15:06):
rational part of the brain can step in. If a
person has been humiliated in a social situation before, their
brain might automatically prepare for the same outcome again, even
if they are in a completely different and safe setting.
This automatic association can make certain locations, types of conversations,
or even specific people seem like threats even when there
(15:29):
is no actual danger. The hippocampus also struggles with distinguishing
between past and present, causing intrusive memories to surface in
unexpected moments, further contributing to heightened anxiety. The prefrontal cortex,
the part of the brain that helps regulate emotions and
make logical decisions, is often underactive in people with CPTSD.
(15:52):
This makes it harder to calm down once panic has
been triggered. It's why telling yourself to just relax or
stop overreacting work. The part of the brain responsible for
reasoning is not fully in control when the nervous system
is in a state of panic. This also explains why
it can take so long to recover from a social event.
(16:12):
Once the body enters a hyper aroused state, it takes
time for the stress hormones to dissipate and for the
nervous system to return to balance. When this balance is
disrupted frequently, it becomes harder to regulate emotions, leading to
a heightened sensitivity to social interactions over time. Chronic dysregulation
in the prefrontal cortex can also lead to difficulties with
(16:35):
decision making and impulse control, making it more challenging to
navigate social situations with confidence. Beyond brain function, there's also
the role of learned behaviors. If someone has experienced rejection, humiliation,
or emotional harm in social situations before, their brain has
been trained to expect the same outcome in future interactions.
(16:58):
This conditioning reinforce avoidance behaviors, making it harder to break
the cycle of social anxiety. Every avoided interaction strengthens the
brain's belief that social situations are dangerous, making future encounters
even more stressful. Additionally, social avoidance can make the brain
even more sensitive to potential threats, reinforcing the belief that
(17:20):
social interactions should be feared. Over time, this avoidance leads
to isolation, loneliness, and further reinforcement of the belief that
socializing is unsafe. Avoidance also robs the brain of opportunities
to experience social interactions in a positive, controlled way, further
perpetuating the cycle of anxiety. Another important factor is how
(17:43):
trauma impacts the autonomic nervous system, which regulates the body's
stress responses. People with CPTSD often experience dysregulation in this system,
meaning they can go from feeling fine to experiencing panic
with little warning. The sympathetic nervous system, which t riggers
the body's fight or flight response, is frequently overactive, while
(18:04):
the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps the body relax, struggles
to regain control. This imbalance means that social situations, even
minor ones, can feel exhausting and emotionally draining. When the
nervous system is in a constant state of vigilance, it
leads to increased fatigue, irritability, and an overall sense of
(18:25):
being on edge. Even in low stress environments, some people
may find themselves shutting down completely after social interactions, requiring
hours or even days to recover from the heightened state
of stress. The good news is that neuroplasticity, the brain's
ability to change, means these patterns are not permanent. By
(18:46):
engaging in intentional practices that help regulate the nervous system,
it's possible to retrain the brain's response to social situations.
Techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and mindfulness work by
activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which counters the body's fight
or flight response. Over time, Consistently using these techniques helps
(19:08):
the brain develop new associations, gradually reducing the intensity of
panic responses. The more these techniques are used, the more
the brain begins to recognize social situations as manageable rather
than threatening. Establishing small positive experiences with socializing can slowly
help the brain rebuild trust in social settings, making interactions
(19:31):
feel less overwhelming over time. One effective technique is cognitive restructuring,
which involves challenging negative thought patterns about social interactions By
repeatedly questioning the automatic beliefs that social situations will be disastrous,
the brain begins to form new, less threatening associations. Exposure therapy,
(19:52):
which involves gradually facing feared social situations in a controlled way,
can also help rewire the brain's response to anxiety trigger. Additionally,
mindfulness meditation can help increase awareness of emotional triggers and
reduce the tendency to react automatically to them. Practicing these
methods consistently helps the brain and nervous system gradually shift
(20:14):
away from a heightened fear response toward a state of
greater ease and comfort in social interactions. Another approach is
vagus nerve stimulation, which can help regulate the nervous system.
The vagus nerve plays a crucial role in calming the
body after stress, and activating it through deep breathing, cold exposure,
(20:34):
or even humming can help reduce anxiety in social settings.
Understanding how to engage the vagus nerve can be a
game changer for those with CPTSD who struggle with social anxiety.
Engaging in gentle activities that promote vagus nerve activation, such
as slow, controlled breathing or light stretching can gradually help
(20:55):
the body learn to transition out of fight or flight
mode more easily. Social support also plays a crucial role
in reshaping the brain's response to social interactions. Safe and
supportive relationships help build new neural pathways that associate socializing
with safety rather than fear. Engaging in group therapy, practicing
(21:17):
social skills in low pressure environments, or simply spending time
with trusted friends can help recondition the brain's response Over time,
the presence of compassionate, understanding individuals can act as a
stabilizing force, reinforcing the idea that social situations do not
always lead to harm or rejection. In the next section
(21:37):
will explore practical strategies that leverage this understanding to help
you regain control during social situations. By combining neuroscience with
actionable tools, you can start to shift these patterns and
experience social interactions with greater ease. The more you practice
these strategies, the more your brain will learn that social
(21:58):
situations are not inherently dangerous, allowing you to engage with
others in a way that feels safe and manageable. Over time,
these small intentional steps create long term changes, making it
possible to navigate social situations with more confidence and less fear.
Now that we understand why panic attacks and social anxiety occur,
(22:20):
let's explore practical strategies to help you regain control in
social situations. Managing panic isn't about eliminating fear altogether. It's
about equipping yourself with tools that allow you to navigate
those moments with more confidence and resilience. These strategies not
only help in the moment, but also retrain the brain
over time, making social situations less intimidating and more manageable.
(22:46):
With repeated practice, these approaches can shift how your nervous
system responds to triggers, creating a foundation for long term
emotional regulation and self confidence. One of the most effective
strategies is grounding techniques. When panic begins to rise, the
key is to shift your focus away from fear and
on to the present moment. The five four, three two
(23:08):
one method is a powerful tool for this. Identify five
things you can see, four things you can touch, three
things you can hear, two things you can smell, and
one thing you can taste. This exercise forces your brain
to focus on sensory input rather than the anxious thoughts
that fuel panic. Another version of grounding involves using temperature changes.
(23:30):
Holding an ice cube, splashing cold water on your face,
or pressing a cold drink against your skin can quickly
disrupt the cycle of rising panic and bring your focus
back to the present. Engaging in tactile grounding, such as
running your hands over textured fabric, squeezing a stress ball,
or pressing your feet firmly against the floor can also
(23:51):
help refocus your attention. A variation of this technique involves
spatial awareness grounding, where you orient yourself in your surroundings
by noting your position in space, what's behind you, above you,
and beside you. This can help your brain recognize that
you are in a safe place, rather than in a
situation where panic is necessary. Some people find that pairing
(24:14):
grounding exercises with soothing phrases like I am safe or
this moment is temporary can further reinforce a sense of calm.
Another essential practice is controlled breathing. The way you breathe
directly affects your nervous system, and shallow, rapid breaths can
reinforce panic. One simple but effective method is box breathing
(24:35):
inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for
four seconds, and hold again for four seconds before repeating.
This technique helps regulate the autonomic nervous system and signals
to your body that it is safe. Diaphragmatic breathing, focusing
on deep belly breaths rather than shallow chest breathing, can
also be a game changer, as it naturally triggers the
(24:58):
parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the body's fight or flight response.
A deeper variation, pursed lip breathing can be useful in
moments of acute distress. Inhaling deeply through the nose and
exhaling slowly through pursed lips helps regulate air flow and
reduce hyperventilation. Practicing breathing exercises daily, even when not in
(25:20):
a stressful situation, strengthens the body's ability to respond effectively
when anxiety does arise. Progressive muscle relaxation PMR can also
be helpful when anxiety becomes overwhelming. This involves systematically tensing
and relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from
your toes and working your way up. The physical release
(25:42):
of tension not only distracts the mind from panic, but
also helps alleviate the physical symptoms of anxiety. Pairing PMR
with slow breathing enhances its calming effects, making it particularly
effective before social events or situations that trigger anticipatory anxiety.
For a more structured approach, combining PMR with autogenic training,
(26:04):
where you repeat affirmations like my arms feel heavy or
my breathing is slow and steady, can further reinforce relaxation
and help regulate the nervous system. This practice rewires the
brain to associate certain phrases with a state of calm,
making it easier to regulate anxiety in the future. Cognitive
reframing is another vital tool. Our thoughts play a massive
(26:27):
role in how we experience anxiety. When panic arises, challenge
the automatic negative thoughts that accompany it. If your brain
tells you everyone is judging me, ask yourself do I
have actual evidence for this? Often our anxieties are fueled
by assumptions rather than facts. An additional technique is cognitive diffusion,
(26:48):
which helps distance you from anxious thoughts rather than being
consumed by them. This involves imagining your thoughts as leaves
floating down a river, rather than resisting or engaging with them.
You simply obsord them pass. Practicing self compassion exercises, such
as writing a reassuring letter to yourself in moments of calm,
can help reinforce a kinder, less critical inner dialogue. Another
(27:12):
method is exposure therapy. In small steps, avoidance reinforces fear,
so gradually exposing yourself to anxiety provoking situations in a
controlled way can help retrain your brain. If large social
gatherings feel too overwhelming, start small, perhaps a brief conversation
with a barista or a short phone call. By repeatedly
(27:32):
engaging in safe social interactions, your brain learns that these
situations are not as threatening as they once seemed. Using
physical objects as anchors can also be an effective grounding strategy.
Holding a small stone, wearing a bracelet with a meaningful charm,
or even carrying a piece of fabric with a calming
texture can serve as a physical reminder that you are
(27:55):
in control when panic starts to rise, Using these objects
as to such points can help bring you back to
the present. A more advanced version of this technique involves
multisensory anchoring, where you pair a grounding object with a scent,
a phrase, or a movement such as squeezing your fingers together.
Over time, this creates a conditioned response, meaning that engaging
(28:19):
with the object will automatically help regulate anxiety. The role
of movement in anxiety management should not be underestimated. Physical
activity can be a powerful tool in releasing built up
nervous energy. If you're in a situation where you feel
trapped by panic, small movements like tapping your fingers, rolling
your shoulders, or wiggling your toes can subtly help regulate
(28:42):
your nervous system. If you have the ability to step
away for a moment, taking a short walk, stretching, or
even shaking out your arms can provide quick relief. Additionally,
bilateral movement techniques such as crossing and uncrossing your arms
or shifting your weight from foot to foot can help
regulate anxiety by activating both hemispheres of the brain. This
(29:05):
mimics the benefits of emdr therapy, which is often used
for trauma processing. Mindfulness practices and meditation are also beneficial
for long term management. Engaging in a regular mindfulness practice
trains the brain to observe thoughts and emotions without immediately
reacting to them. Even a short daily meditation session can
(29:27):
increase resilience to anxiety triggers over time. Finally, creating an
exit strategy for overwhelming situations can help reduce anticipatory anxiety.
Knowing that you have a plan if you start to
feel overwhelmed, such as excusing yourself for a bathroom break,
stepping outside for fresh air, or texting a trusted friend,
(29:47):
can make social interactions feel less intimidating. The key to
success with these strategies is consistency. By incorporating them into
daily life, you can build confidence in your ability to
make manage anxiety and reclaim a sense of control in
social situations. The next section will explore how humor and
a shift in perspective can help lighten the weight of anxiety,
(30:10):
making social interactions feel more natural and enjoyable. Anxiety can
be heavy, and panic attacks can feel like the worst
thing in the world, but sometimes a shift in perspective
can lighten the load. When we take a step back,
we start to realize that many of the things we
fear in social situations aren't as dire as they seem
in the moment. In fact, there are times when anxiety,
(30:33):
especially social anxiety, can be well kind of funny, the
nervous energy, the awkward pauses, the way our brains convince
us that a slightly misworded sentence has just ruined our
entire reputation. It's almost theatrical. Think about it. How many
times have you replayed an awkward interaction in your head,
(30:54):
convinced it was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen,
only to realize later that no one else even noticed.
Maybe you waived at someone who wasn't actually waving at you,
stumbled over your words while ordering a coffee, or said
you too when the server told you to enjoy your meal.
These moments feel mortifying in the moment, but in reality,
(31:15):
they're just part of being human. Everybody has them. The
fact that you still think about them years later just
proves that you care, But it also highlights how the
mind has a funny way of exaggerating things. The brain
loves to catastrophize, turning minor mishaps into full scale disasters.
But what if instead of fearing those moments, we leaned
(31:36):
into the humor of them. What if rather than beating
ourselves up over awkwardness, we embraced it. Social anxiety makes
us hyper aware of ourselves, But in reality, most people
are too busy thinking about their own lives to remember
that one weird thing you said five years ago. Think
about the last time someone else fumbled a sentence or
(31:57):
made an awkward joke. Did it permanently change how you
see them? Probably not. If anything, it made them more relatable.
One strategy is to start treating anxiety like an over
the top character in a sitcom. Picture your anxiety as
a dramatic narrator blowing things out of proportion. Oh no,
you made slightly too much eye contact. Now they think
(32:20):
you're a serial killer. Or you just mispronounced a word.
Guess you have to go into hiding now. When we
exaggerate the absurdity of our fears, they start to lose
their power. You can even give your anxiety a ridiculous name,
maybe something like Sir Worryington or Captain Catastrophe, to make
it feel less intimidating. Talking back to it in a
(32:42):
joking way can shift the power dynamic and remind you
that these thoughts don't have to control you. Another way
to use humor is to actively diffuse anxious moments in
real time. If you trip over your words instead of cringing,
laugh it off. Wow, my brain and my mouth just
got divorced mid sentence. If you accidentally interrupt someone, a
(33:02):
quick oops, I got a little too excited there, carry
on can help ease the tension. Owning awkwardness with a
little lightheartedness makes it less intimidating and signals to others
that you're comfortable with being human. In fact, research suggests
that self deprecating humor, when used in moderation, can actually
increase likability and ease social connections. People appreciate those who
(33:27):
don't take themselves too seriously. Sometimes, watching or reading about
other people's social mishaps can be the best remedy for
our own. Stand up comedians often turn their most humiliating
moments into their best material, proving that even the most
awkward experiences can be transformed into something positive. Watching or
(33:49):
listening to comedic takes on anxiety can provide relief by
reminding us that no one gets through life without an
embarrassing moment or twenty. There's something comforting about knowing that
even the most confident, charismatic people have their share of
face palm moments. Another playful trick is to challenge yourself
to create an anxiety blooper reel. Instead of cringing at
(34:12):
your awkward moments, mentally edit them into a montage of
funny mishaps, complete with sound effects. Imagine dramatic slow motion
replays of you saying the wrong thing, or a laugh
track playing after an awkward silence. It sounds ridiculous, but
reframing anxiety in a humorous way takes away some of
its sting. You could even write out a parody version
(34:34):
of your anxious thoughts, exaggerating them to the point of absurdity,
like rewriting a simple conversation as if it were an
intense courtroom drama. If you really want to go all
in on humor as an anxiety coping tool, try turning
awkward situations into a personal challenge. Give yourself points every
time you survive an interaction that makes you nervous. Accidentally
(34:57):
waived at a stranger plus ten points, made a weird
joke that no one laughed at, plus twenty forgot someone's
name the second they told you, bonus round. When you
gamify social anxiety, you take some of its power away
and turn it into something more manageable and maybe even fun.
Anxiety may be a part of life, but it doesn't
(35:18):
have to make life miserable. When we embrace the silliness
of social missteps and give ourselves permission to laugh, we
make space for joy in moments that would otherwise be
filled with stress. And at the end of the day,
the best way to disarm anxiety is to remind ourselves
we're not alone in this. Everybody is making it up
(35:39):
as they go along. There's a kind of freedom in
knowing that none of us really have it all figured out,
and that a little awkwardness just makes life more interesting.
In the next section, we'll wrap up with a recap
of everything we've covered and reinforce the key takeaways for
managing panic and social anxiety in a way that feels empowering, effective,
(36:00):
and sustainable. As we wrap up this episode, let's take
a moment to reflect on everything we've explored about panic attacks,
social anxiety, and how to navigate these challenges with more
confidence and ease. Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn't
have to control your life. By understanding why these responses
(36:20):
happen and learning the right strategies, you can begin to
shift the way you experience social situations and panic inducing moments,
gradually building a sense of security and control where there
was once fear. We started by diving into how panic
attacks and social anxiety are deeply rooted in the brain
and nervous system. The amygdala, the brain's alarm system, can
(36:43):
be hyper sensitive, sending out danger signals even when there's
no real threat. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, the part of
the brain responsible for logical thinking, can struggle to override
those alarm signals in moments of heightened anxiety. This explains why,
even when you logically know you're safe, your body reacts
as if you're in immediate danger. The good news the
(37:06):
brain is adaptable through neuroplasticity. It's possible to rewire these
responses over time with the right techniques and repeated practice.
By consciously engaging in strategies that signal safety to the brain,
you can create new pathways that allow for more ease
in social interactions. We then explored personal experiences and how
(37:28):
social anxiety manifests in real life situations. Whether it's feeling
frozen in a work meeting, overthinking a casual conversation, or
avoiding social interactions altogether. These experiences are incredibly common. Many
people feel trapped in cycles of avoidance, where fear of
embarrassment leads to withdrawal, reinforcing the belief that social situations
(37:50):
are dangerous. Breaking this cycle starts with awareness, recognizing that
avoidance strengthens anxiety, while small intentional steps towards connection help
to weaken it. Knowing that you're not alone in these
struggles is a powerful first step in shifting your mindset.
Social anxiety thrives on isolation, but the truth is millions
(38:12):
of people are navigating the same feelings, each in their
own way. From there, we moved into practical strategies. Grounding
techniques like the five four three two one method help
redirect attention away from panic and back to the present.
Controlled breathing techniques such as box breathing and diaphragmatic breathing
(38:32):
activate the body's relaxation response and help regulate the nervous system.
Cognitive reframing allows us to challenge anxious thoughts and see
situations from a more balanced perspective, shifting from worst case
scenario thinking to a more neutral, compassionate outlook. Exposure therapy
in small steps helps desensitize the brain to feared social situations,
(38:55):
rewiring the brain's learned fear responses over time. Physical movement,
mindfulness practices, and even sensory anchors like holding a familiar
object all serve as powerful tools for calming the nervous system.
The more you integrate these techniques into daily life, the
more automatic they become, allowing you to feel more in
control when anxiety arises. And of course we talked about
(39:19):
the role of humor. When we take a step back
and reframe our anxious moments as funny rather than terrifying,
we start to take away some of their power. Whether
it's imagining our anxious thoughts as exaggerated sitcom dialogue, creating
an anxiety blooper reel, or giving our anxiety a ridiculous name.
Humor reminds us that awkwardness is just part of being human.
(39:42):
By learning to laugh at our social mishaps, we create
space for joy instead of fear, and we remind ourselves
that even the most confident people have embarrassing moments. Another
important takeaway from this episode is that self compassion is
a key ingredient in managing anxiety. Many people with social
anxiety are incredibly self critical, replaying past interactions and focusing
(40:06):
on perceived mistakes. Practicing self compassion means treating yourself with
the same kindness you would offer a friend, instead of
berating yourself or feeling nervous. Acknowledge that anxiety is a
natural response and that you're doing your best. You're allowed
to be human, and humans make mistakes, stumble over words,
(40:27):
and feel awkward. Sometimes. Learning to respond to yourself with
patience rather than frustration can change your entire relationship with anxiety.
The biggest message we hope you take away from this
episode is that anxiety isn't a life sentence. It's something
that can be worked with, reshaped, and even softened with time.
The key is consistency. The more you practice these techniques,
(40:50):
the more automatic they become. Small daily changes add up
to a stronger, more resilient nervous system and a more
confident version of you. And even on the days when
anxiety feels overwhelming, remind yourself that progress isn't linear. Every
effort counts, even if it's just recognizing that your fears
don't define you. As we close, remember that progress doesn't
(41:14):
mean never feeling anxious again. It means having the tools
to respond differently when anxiety arises. It means feeling more
in control, more self compassionate, and more willing to step
into the social world without fear dictating your every move.
And most importantly, it means knowing that you are not alone.
Millions of people experience social anxiety, and every step you
(41:37):
take toward managing it is a step toward greater freedom
and connection. If today's episode resonated with you, consider practicing
one of the strategies we discussed. Start small, maybe using
a grounding technique, shifting your inner dialogue to be more compassionate,
or gently challenging an avoidance habit. And if you found
(41:58):
value in the podcast, you can support us by joining
our supporters club for just three dollars a month. Details
can be found in the episode description wherever you get
your podcasts. Next time, we'll be exploring how music can
be used as a powerful grounding tool for anxiety and
emotional regulation. Music has a unique ability to shift our mood,
(42:19):
regulate the nervous system, and provide comfort during anxious moments.
We'll explore the science behind it, practical ways to use
music for anxiety relief, and share stories from listeners who
have found solace in their favorite songs. Until then, take care,
and remember you're not alone in this
Panic attacks can feel like a sudden storm, appearing without
warning and shaking us to our core. The racing heartbeat,
the shallow breathing, the overwhelming sense of dread. It's enough
to make anyone feel trapped in their own mind. For
those with CPTSD, these moments can be particularly intense, especially
in social settings where past trauma is triggered. The fear
(00:22):
of judgment, the pressure to perform, the unpredictability of social interactions.
These factors can amplify the experience of panic, making it
feel inescapable. But here's the good news. Panic attacks, though powerful,
do not define you, and there are ways to manage
them effectively. You are not powerless against them. Today, we're
(00:44):
going to walk through strategies that work, breaking down the
panic response and giving you the tools to regain control.
Social situations can be a battlefield for those carrying the
weight of complex trauma. The mere thought of walking into
a crowded space, making small top or facing unpredictable interactions
can set off a cascade of anxiety. It's not just
(01:06):
about shyness or introversion. It's about feeling emotionally exposed, like
the ground beneath you could give way. At any moment,
your mind replays past experiences where you felt helpless or unsafe,
even if the current situation poses no real threat. That's
why this episode is so important. If you've ever found
yourself avoiding gatherings, dreading work meetings, or feeling exhausted after socializing,
(01:31):
this episode will help you understand why. More importantly, it
will equip you with practical ways to navigate these experiences
with confidence and self compassion. We'll explore the physiological and
psychological aspects of panic attacks. What's happening in your brain
and body when anxiety hijacks the moment, The fight or
flight response kicks in your amygdala, sounds the alarm, and
(01:55):
before you know it, your body is in full crisis mode.
But this this response, though automatic, is something we can
learn to regulate. Will also introduce evidence based techniques that
can bring immediate relief and long term change, from mindfulness
practices to grounding exercises. Will walk through what truly helps
in the moment and what can set you up for
(02:17):
success in the long run. If you're someone who has
struggled with feeling safe in social spaces, know that you're
not alone. So many people experience this same internal battle,
even if they seem calm on the outside. We'll also
be sharing stories from listeners who have faced these challenges
and found ways to move through them. It's about learning, growing,
(02:41):
and giving yourself the permission to approach social interactions in
a way that feels right for you. Healing is not
about forcing yourself to be someone you're not. It's about
understanding your needs and responding to them with kindness. By
the end of this episode, you'll have a toolkit of
practical stratusies to use whenever panic strikes, and more importantly,
(03:04):
you'll begin to shift your mindset about what these moments mean.
Panic is not a sign of failure. It's not proof
that you're broken. It's a signal one that can be
understood and responded to with compassion and skill. The goal
is not to eliminate fear entirely, but to change your
relationship with it. Stick with us, because by the end
(03:24):
of this conversation, you'll have a roadmap to face these
moments with more confidence and ease. Before we dive in,
a quick reminder, if you find this podcast helpful, consider
joining our Supporters Club for just three dollars a month.
Your support helps us keep creating valuable content and providing
a space for healing and growth. Details can be found
(03:45):
in the episode description wherever you listen to your podcasts now,
let's get started on breaking down panic attacks and reclaiming
your sense of control. For many people living with CPTSD,
social situations don't just bring mild nervousness. They trigger a
deep sense of fear, often rooted in past experiences of rejection, abandonment,
(04:06):
or harm. It's not just about walking into a room
full of people and feeling a little awkward. It's about
a flood of emotions that feel uncontrollable, sometimes hitting before
a social event even begins. The anticipation itself can become
a source of distress, leading to avoidance behaviors that, over
time reinforce isolation. Some find themselves freezing up, unable to
(04:29):
find the words to respond in conversations, while others experience
an overwhelming urge to leave their hearts pounding as their
bodies scream at them to escape. The body's fight or
flight response is so intense that it can feel as
though survival is at stake, even when logic tells them otherwise.
These reactions are deeply ingrained, often the result of repeated
(04:52):
past experiences where social settings were linked to feelings of humiliation, danger,
or rejection. The emotional exhaustion of constantly anticipating threats can
make everyday interactions feel like insurmountable challenges. I remember speaking
with a listener who shared their experience of attending a
close friend's wedding. They were excited to be there, looking
(05:15):
forward to celebrating an important moment in their friend's life,
but the moment they stepped into the reception, something shifted.
The noise, the crowded space, the unstructured nature of conversations,
it all felt overwhelming. They could feel their heart racing,
their breathing becoming shallow, their mind repeatedly telling them they
(05:37):
needed to leave. What was supposed to be a joyful
event turned into a battle between their rational mind and
their trauma response. They ended up hiding in the bathroom
for nearly an hour before mustering up the strength to return,
trying to act as if nothing had happened, even though
they were emotionally drained. The fear of appearing rude or
(05:59):
disappointing their friend only made the experience more difficult, But
at the moment, their body and mind weren't cooperating with
their desire to stay present. This highlights how even positive
social events can be overshadowed by the weight of past trauma.
This experience is not uncommon. Many people with CPTSD struggle
(06:20):
with social anxiety, not because they don't want to connect
with others, but because their nervous system perceives social interactions
as a threat. Past experiences of trauma condition the brain
to anticipate danger in these moments, even when no real
threat is present. It's why certain environments, crowded rooms, unfamiliar places,
high pressure social settings can feel intolerable. The logical part
(06:44):
of the brain knows everything is fine, but the body
refuses to listen. For some even casual encounters like small
talk at work or a quick interaction with a stranger,
can bring an overwhelming sense of dread. These seemingly simple
interactions often carry an emotional weight that others might not understand,
making it even harder to explain why these situations feel
(07:06):
so daunting. The fear of judgment, of saying the wrong thing,
or of being misunderstood can make socializing a constant challenge,
leading to over analysis and self doubt. Another listener described
how work meetings were their biggest trigger. Sitting in a
conference room knowing they might be called on to speak
(07:27):
made them feel physically sick. Their palms would sweat, their
throat would tighten, and they'd spend the entire meeting rehearsing
what they might say, terrified of making a mistake. Even
when they weren't required to speak, the fear of being
perceived as awkward or incompetent kept them from engaging naturally.
By the time the meeting ended, they were exhausted, not
(07:50):
because of the content of the discussion, but because their
body had been on high alert the entire time. That
hypervigilance can last long after the meeting is over, leaving
them drained for the rest of the day. The mental
energy spent on trying to appear normal and avoiding perceived
social pitfalls is exhausting in ways that many don't realize.
(08:12):
The impact extends beyond the workplace, affecting friendships, family gatherings,
and even routine errands, and it's not just formal settings.
One listener shared how even casual social gatherings with friends
or family felt like a performance. They would rehearse conversations
in their head beforehand, imagining worst case scenarios and crafting
(08:33):
responses in advance. But despite their preparation, they still felt
drained and emotionally raw after interactions. They described feeling like
an actor in a play, constantly monitoring their words and
expressions to make sure they were saying the right thing.
The fear of being judged or misunderstood made it difficult
(08:53):
to relax, even in settings that were supposed to feel safe.
This hyper awareness of social interaction is often a survival strategy,
one that was developed early in life but continues long
after the original danger is gone. This constant need for
vigilance prevents people from experiencing the joy of connection and
instead turns relationships into sources of stress. The impact of
(09:18):
CPTSD on social life can be profound. Many people with
complex trauma histories struggle to maintain friendships, not because they
don't care about others, but because socializing feels like an
emotionally draining task. It's common to overanalyze past conversations, ruminate
on whether they said the wrong thing, or feel guilty
(09:38):
for not reaching out to friends. More often, some people
withdraw entirely, avoiding social situations altogether, while others push themselves
into them, despite the discomfort, leaving them exhausted and overwhelmed.
The cycle of avoiding and enduring social events rather than
enjoying them, reinforces the belief that these interactions are in
(10:00):
inherently stressful. The toll this takes on self esteem can
be significant, as people begin to see themselves as incapable
of connection, reinforcing feelings of loneliness and isolation. These responses
aren't simply social anxiety in the typical sense. They are
the remnants of trauma, resurfacing in moments that require vulnerability.
(10:21):
Social interactions often demand spontaneity, and for those with CPTSD,
that unpredictability can be terrifying. Many people with trauma histories
grew up in environments where they had to be hyper
aware of others moods, constantly monitoring for potential danger. That
survival mechanism, while necessary at the time, becomes a barrier
(10:42):
to connection in adulthood. It's not that they don't want
to form relationships, it's that their nervous system has been
wired to view social interactions as a potential threat, making
it difficult to trust and let their guard down, even
if logically they know they are safe, the bodies can do.
Response to social stimuli can feel overwhelming. Over time. This
(11:05):
can lead to a learned helplessness, where the idea of
change feels impossible, even though it is within reach. Despite
the challenges, there is hope. The first step is recognizing
that these reactions are not personal failings. You're not antisocial, weak,
or incapable. You're someone whose nervous system has been shaped
(11:26):
by past experiences. It's a conditioned response, not a reflection
of your worth or ability to connect with others. By
understanding the root of these feelings, you can begin to
approach them with compassion rather than frustration. Healing doesn't mean
forcing yourself into overwhelming situations or pretending social anxiety isn't there.
(11:46):
It means gradually learning how to soothe your nervous system,
create safety within yourself, and set boundaries that work for you. Small,
manageable steps towards social interactions rather than avoidance or forced exposure,
can help rewire the brain's association with these situations. With time, patience,
and the right tools, it is possible to regain confidence
(12:09):
and experience genuine connection without fear dominating the experience. In
the next section, we'll dive into the science behind why
these responses occur and what can be done to shift them.
Because while your past may have shaped you, it does
not have to control you forever. There are tools, techniques,
and approaches that can help retrain your nervous system, allowing
(12:32):
you to experience social situations with less fear and more ease.
It won't happen overnight, but with time and patience, meaningful
change is possible. Your social life can become something you
engage in with curiosity and joy rather than fear and exhaustion.
Understanding why social anxiety and panic attacks happen requires a
(12:54):
look at the brain's response to perceive threats. When someone
with CPTSD encounters a social situation that feels overwhelming, their
nervous system often reacts as if they are in immediate danger.
This is because of how trauma reshapes the brain, particularly
the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, three key areas involved
(13:14):
in processing, fear, memory, and decision making. Trauma rewires these areas,
making social interactions more challenging and reinforcing patterns of hypervigilance, avoidance,
and distress. Over time, these responses become ingrained, making social
engagement feel exhausting or even impossible. The more these patterns
(13:34):
are reinforced, the harder it becomes to trust social environments
and relax in the presence of others. The amygdala, often
referred to as the brain's alarm system, plays a crucial
role in detecting threats. For individuals with CPTSD, this part
of the brain is hyperactive, meaning it sounds the alarm
even when there is no real danger. Something as simple
(13:56):
as a loud noise and unexpected question, or even prolonged
eye contact can trigger this response, sending a flood of
stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline through the body. This
reaction prepares the person to either fight, flee, or freeze,
which is why social anxiety can feel so physically intense.
The pounding heart, sweaty palms, and tight chest are not
(14:19):
just emotional responses. They are the body's way of gearing
up for survival even when survival is not at risk.
The brain, unable to distinguish between past trauma and present safety,
reacts with intense urgency, making it incredibly difficult to remain
calm in social settings. The hippocampus, responsible for storing and
processing memories is also affected by trauma. It can misinterpret
(14:43):
present situations based on past experiences, leading to a sense
of danger even when none exists. This is why someone
with CPTSD might find themselves overwhelmed in a social setting
that resembles past traumatic events, even if nothing bad is
happening in the present moment. The brain is working on
association rather than logic, triggering a defensive response before the
(15:06):
rational part of the brain can step in. If a
person has been humiliated in a social situation before, their
brain might automatically prepare for the same outcome again, even
if they are in a completely different and safe setting.
This automatic association can make certain locations, types of conversations,
or even specific people seem like threats even when there
(15:29):
is no actual danger. The hippocampus also struggles with distinguishing
between past and present, causing intrusive memories to surface in
unexpected moments, further contributing to heightened anxiety. The prefrontal cortex,
the part of the brain that helps regulate emotions and
make logical decisions, is often underactive in people with CPTSD.
(15:52):
This makes it harder to calm down once panic has
been triggered. It's why telling yourself to just relax or
stop overreacting work. The part of the brain responsible for
reasoning is not fully in control when the nervous system
is in a state of panic. This also explains why
it can take so long to recover from a social event.
(16:12):
Once the body enters a hyper aroused state, it takes
time for the stress hormones to dissipate and for the
nervous system to return to balance. When this balance is
disrupted frequently, it becomes harder to regulate emotions, leading to
a heightened sensitivity to social interactions over time. Chronic dysregulation
in the prefrontal cortex can also lead to difficulties with
(16:35):
decision making and impulse control, making it more challenging to
navigate social situations with confidence. Beyond brain function, there's also
the role of learned behaviors. If someone has experienced rejection, humiliation,
or emotional harm in social situations before, their brain has
been trained to expect the same outcome in future interactions.
(16:58):
This conditioning reinforce avoidance behaviors, making it harder to break
the cycle of social anxiety. Every avoided interaction strengthens the
brain's belief that social situations are dangerous, making future encounters
even more stressful. Additionally, social avoidance can make the brain
even more sensitive to potential threats, reinforcing the belief that
(17:20):
social interactions should be feared. Over time, this avoidance leads
to isolation, loneliness, and further reinforcement of the belief that
socializing is unsafe. Avoidance also robs the brain of opportunities
to experience social interactions in a positive, controlled way, further
perpetuating the cycle of anxiety. Another important factor is how
(17:43):
trauma impacts the autonomic nervous system, which regulates the body's
stress responses. People with CPTSD often experience dysregulation in this system,
meaning they can go from feeling fine to experiencing panic
with little warning. The sympathetic nervous system, which t riggers
the body's fight or flight response, is frequently overactive, while
(18:04):
the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps the body relax, struggles
to regain control. This imbalance means that social situations, even
minor ones, can feel exhausting and emotionally draining. When the
nervous system is in a constant state of vigilance, it
leads to increased fatigue, irritability, and an overall sense of
(18:25):
being on edge. Even in low stress environments, some people
may find themselves shutting down completely after social interactions, requiring
hours or even days to recover from the heightened state
of stress. The good news is that neuroplasticity, the brain's
ability to change, means these patterns are not permanent. By
(18:46):
engaging in intentional practices that help regulate the nervous system,
it's possible to retrain the brain's response to social situations.
Techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and mindfulness work by
activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which counters the body's fight
or flight response. Over time, Consistently using these techniques helps
(19:08):
the brain develop new associations, gradually reducing the intensity of
panic responses. The more these techniques are used, the more
the brain begins to recognize social situations as manageable rather
than threatening. Establishing small positive experiences with socializing can slowly
help the brain rebuild trust in social settings, making interactions
(19:31):
feel less overwhelming over time. One effective technique is cognitive restructuring,
which involves challenging negative thought patterns about social interactions By
repeatedly questioning the automatic beliefs that social situations will be disastrous,
the brain begins to form new, less threatening associations. Exposure therapy,
(19:52):
which involves gradually facing feared social situations in a controlled way,
can also help rewire the brain's response to anxiety trigger. Additionally,
mindfulness meditation can help increase awareness of emotional triggers and
reduce the tendency to react automatically to them. Practicing these
methods consistently helps the brain and nervous system gradually shift
(20:14):
away from a heightened fear response toward a state of
greater ease and comfort in social interactions. Another approach is
vagus nerve stimulation, which can help regulate the nervous system.
The vagus nerve plays a crucial role in calming the
body after stress, and activating it through deep breathing, cold exposure,
(20:34):
or even humming can help reduce anxiety in social settings.
Understanding how to engage the vagus nerve can be a
game changer for those with CPTSD who struggle with social anxiety.
Engaging in gentle activities that promote vagus nerve activation, such
as slow, controlled breathing or light stretching can gradually help
(20:55):
the body learn to transition out of fight or flight
mode more easily. Social support also plays a crucial role
in reshaping the brain's response to social interactions. Safe and
supportive relationships help build new neural pathways that associate socializing
with safety rather than fear. Engaging in group therapy, practicing
(21:17):
social skills in low pressure environments, or simply spending time
with trusted friends can help recondition the brain's response Over time,
the presence of compassionate, understanding individuals can act as a
stabilizing force, reinforcing the idea that social situations do not
always lead to harm or rejection. In the next section
(21:37):
will explore practical strategies that leverage this understanding to help
you regain control during social situations. By combining neuroscience with
actionable tools, you can start to shift these patterns and
experience social interactions with greater ease. The more you practice
these strategies, the more your brain will learn that social
(21:58):
situations are not inherently dangerous, allowing you to engage with
others in a way that feels safe and manageable. Over time,
these small intentional steps create long term changes, making it
possible to navigate social situations with more confidence and less fear.
Now that we understand why panic attacks and social anxiety occur,
(22:20):
let's explore practical strategies to help you regain control in
social situations. Managing panic isn't about eliminating fear altogether. It's
about equipping yourself with tools that allow you to navigate
those moments with more confidence and resilience. These strategies not
only help in the moment, but also retrain the brain
over time, making social situations less intimidating and more manageable.
(22:46):
With repeated practice, these approaches can shift how your nervous
system responds to triggers, creating a foundation for long term
emotional regulation and self confidence. One of the most effective
strategies is grounding techniques. When panic begins to rise, the
key is to shift your focus away from fear and
on to the present moment. The five four, three two
(23:08):
one method is a powerful tool for this. Identify five
things you can see, four things you can touch, three
things you can hear, two things you can smell, and
one thing you can taste. This exercise forces your brain
to focus on sensory input rather than the anxious thoughts
that fuel panic. Another version of grounding involves using temperature changes.
(23:30):
Holding an ice cube, splashing cold water on your face,
or pressing a cold drink against your skin can quickly
disrupt the cycle of rising panic and bring your focus
back to the present. Engaging in tactile grounding, such as
running your hands over textured fabric, squeezing a stress ball,
or pressing your feet firmly against the floor can also
(23:51):
help refocus your attention. A variation of this technique involves
spatial awareness grounding, where you orient yourself in your surroundings
by noting your position in space, what's behind you, above you,
and beside you. This can help your brain recognize that
you are in a safe place, rather than in a
situation where panic is necessary. Some people find that pairing
(24:14):
grounding exercises with soothing phrases like I am safe or
this moment is temporary can further reinforce a sense of calm.
Another essential practice is controlled breathing. The way you breathe
directly affects your nervous system, and shallow, rapid breaths can
reinforce panic. One simple but effective method is box breathing
(24:35):
inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for
four seconds, and hold again for four seconds before repeating.
This technique helps regulate the autonomic nervous system and signals
to your body that it is safe. Diaphragmatic breathing, focusing
on deep belly breaths rather than shallow chest breathing, can
also be a game changer, as it naturally triggers the
(24:58):
parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the body's fight or flight response.
A deeper variation, pursed lip breathing can be useful in
moments of acute distress. Inhaling deeply through the nose and
exhaling slowly through pursed lips helps regulate air flow and
reduce hyperventilation. Practicing breathing exercises daily, even when not in
(25:20):
a stressful situation, strengthens the body's ability to respond effectively
when anxiety does arise. Progressive muscle relaxation PMR can also
be helpful when anxiety becomes overwhelming. This involves systematically tensing
and relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from
your toes and working your way up. The physical release
(25:42):
of tension not only distracts the mind from panic, but
also helps alleviate the physical symptoms of anxiety. Pairing PMR
with slow breathing enhances its calming effects, making it particularly
effective before social events or situations that trigger anticipatory anxiety.
For a more structured approach, combining PMR with autogenic training,
(26:04):
where you repeat affirmations like my arms feel heavy or
my breathing is slow and steady, can further reinforce relaxation
and help regulate the nervous system. This practice rewires the
brain to associate certain phrases with a state of calm,
making it easier to regulate anxiety in the future. Cognitive
reframing is another vital tool. Our thoughts play a massive
(26:27):
role in how we experience anxiety. When panic arises, challenge
the automatic negative thoughts that accompany it. If your brain
tells you everyone is judging me, ask yourself do I
have actual evidence for this? Often our anxieties are fueled
by assumptions rather than facts. An additional technique is cognitive diffusion,
(26:48):
which helps distance you from anxious thoughts rather than being
consumed by them. This involves imagining your thoughts as leaves
floating down a river, rather than resisting or engaging with them.
You simply obsord them pass. Practicing self compassion exercises, such
as writing a reassuring letter to yourself in moments of calm,
can help reinforce a kinder, less critical inner dialogue. Another
(27:12):
method is exposure therapy. In small steps, avoidance reinforces fear,
so gradually exposing yourself to anxiety provoking situations in a
controlled way can help retrain your brain. If large social
gatherings feel too overwhelming, start small, perhaps a brief conversation
with a barista or a short phone call. By repeatedly
(27:32):
engaging in safe social interactions, your brain learns that these
situations are not as threatening as they once seemed. Using
physical objects as anchors can also be an effective grounding strategy.
Holding a small stone, wearing a bracelet with a meaningful charm,
or even carrying a piece of fabric with a calming
texture can serve as a physical reminder that you are
(27:55):
in control when panic starts to rise, Using these objects
as to such points can help bring you back to
the present. A more advanced version of this technique involves
multisensory anchoring, where you pair a grounding object with a scent,
a phrase, or a movement such as squeezing your fingers together.
Over time, this creates a conditioned response, meaning that engaging
(28:19):
with the object will automatically help regulate anxiety. The role
of movement in anxiety management should not be underestimated. Physical
activity can be a powerful tool in releasing built up
nervous energy. If you're in a situation where you feel
trapped by panic, small movements like tapping your fingers, rolling
your shoulders, or wiggling your toes can subtly help regulate
(28:42):
your nervous system. If you have the ability to step
away for a moment, taking a short walk, stretching, or
even shaking out your arms can provide quick relief. Additionally,
bilateral movement techniques such as crossing and uncrossing your arms
or shifting your weight from foot to foot can help
regulate anxiety by activating both hemispheres of the brain. This
(29:05):
mimics the benefits of emdr therapy, which is often used
for trauma processing. Mindfulness practices and meditation are also beneficial
for long term management. Engaging in a regular mindfulness practice
trains the brain to observe thoughts and emotions without immediately
reacting to them. Even a short daily meditation session can
(29:27):
increase resilience to anxiety triggers over time. Finally, creating an
exit strategy for overwhelming situations can help reduce anticipatory anxiety.
Knowing that you have a plan if you start to
feel overwhelmed, such as excusing yourself for a bathroom break,
stepping outside for fresh air, or texting a trusted friend,
(29:47):
can make social interactions feel less intimidating. The key to
success with these strategies is consistency. By incorporating them into
daily life, you can build confidence in your ability to
make manage anxiety and reclaim a sense of control in
social situations. The next section will explore how humor and
a shift in perspective can help lighten the weight of anxiety,
(30:10):
making social interactions feel more natural and enjoyable. Anxiety can
be heavy, and panic attacks can feel like the worst
thing in the world, but sometimes a shift in perspective
can lighten the load. When we take a step back,
we start to realize that many of the things we
fear in social situations aren't as dire as they seem
in the moment. In fact, there are times when anxiety,
(30:33):
especially social anxiety, can be well kind of funny, the
nervous energy, the awkward pauses, the way our brains convince
us that a slightly misworded sentence has just ruined our
entire reputation. It's almost theatrical. Think about it. How many
times have you replayed an awkward interaction in your head,
(30:54):
convinced it was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen,
only to realize later that no one else even noticed.
Maybe you waived at someone who wasn't actually waving at you,
stumbled over your words while ordering a coffee, or said
you too when the server told you to enjoy your meal.
These moments feel mortifying in the moment, but in reality,
(31:15):
they're just part of being human. Everybody has them. The
fact that you still think about them years later just
proves that you care, But it also highlights how the
mind has a funny way of exaggerating things. The brain
loves to catastrophize, turning minor mishaps into full scale disasters.
But what if instead of fearing those moments, we leaned
(31:36):
into the humor of them. What if rather than beating
ourselves up over awkwardness, we embraced it. Social anxiety makes
us hyper aware of ourselves, But in reality, most people
are too busy thinking about their own lives to remember
that one weird thing you said five years ago. Think
about the last time someone else fumbled a sentence or
(31:57):
made an awkward joke. Did it permanently change how you
see them? Probably not. If anything, it made them more relatable.
One strategy is to start treating anxiety like an over
the top character in a sitcom. Picture your anxiety as
a dramatic narrator blowing things out of proportion. Oh no,
you made slightly too much eye contact. Now they think
(32:20):
you're a serial killer. Or you just mispronounced a word.
Guess you have to go into hiding now. When we
exaggerate the absurdity of our fears, they start to lose
their power. You can even give your anxiety a ridiculous name,
maybe something like Sir Worryington or Captain Catastrophe, to make
it feel less intimidating. Talking back to it in a
(32:42):
joking way can shift the power dynamic and remind you
that these thoughts don't have to control you. Another way
to use humor is to actively diffuse anxious moments in
real time. If you trip over your words instead of cringing,
laugh it off. Wow, my brain and my mouth just
got divorced mid sentence. If you accidentally interrupt someone, a
(33:02):
quick oops, I got a little too excited there, carry
on can help ease the tension. Owning awkwardness with a
little lightheartedness makes it less intimidating and signals to others
that you're comfortable with being human. In fact, research suggests
that self deprecating humor, when used in moderation, can actually
increase likability and ease social connections. People appreciate those who
(33:27):
don't take themselves too seriously. Sometimes, watching or reading about
other people's social mishaps can be the best remedy for
our own. Stand up comedians often turn their most humiliating
moments into their best material, proving that even the most
awkward experiences can be transformed into something positive. Watching or
(33:49):
listening to comedic takes on anxiety can provide relief by
reminding us that no one gets through life without an
embarrassing moment or twenty. There's something comforting about knowing that
even the most confident, charismatic people have their share of
face palm moments. Another playful trick is to challenge yourself
to create an anxiety blooper reel. Instead of cringing at
(34:12):
your awkward moments, mentally edit them into a montage of
funny mishaps, complete with sound effects. Imagine dramatic slow motion
replays of you saying the wrong thing, or a laugh
track playing after an awkward silence. It sounds ridiculous, but
reframing anxiety in a humorous way takes away some of
its sting. You could even write out a parody version
(34:34):
of your anxious thoughts, exaggerating them to the point of absurdity,
like rewriting a simple conversation as if it were an
intense courtroom drama. If you really want to go all
in on humor as an anxiety coping tool, try turning
awkward situations into a personal challenge. Give yourself points every
time you survive an interaction that makes you nervous. Accidentally
(34:57):
waived at a stranger plus ten points, made a weird
joke that no one laughed at, plus twenty forgot someone's
name the second they told you, bonus round. When you
gamify social anxiety, you take some of its power away
and turn it into something more manageable and maybe even fun.
Anxiety may be a part of life, but it doesn't
(35:18):
have to make life miserable. When we embrace the silliness
of social missteps and give ourselves permission to laugh, we
make space for joy in moments that would otherwise be
filled with stress. And at the end of the day,
the best way to disarm anxiety is to remind ourselves
we're not alone in this. Everybody is making it up
(35:39):
as they go along. There's a kind of freedom in
knowing that none of us really have it all figured out,
and that a little awkwardness just makes life more interesting.
In the next section, we'll wrap up with a recap
of everything we've covered and reinforce the key takeaways for
managing panic and social anxiety in a way that feels empowering, effective,
(36:00):
and sustainable. As we wrap up this episode, let's take
a moment to reflect on everything we've explored about panic attacks,
social anxiety, and how to navigate these challenges with more
confidence and ease. Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn't
have to control your life. By understanding why these responses
(36:20):
happen and learning the right strategies, you can begin to
shift the way you experience social situations and panic inducing moments,
gradually building a sense of security and control where there
was once fear. We started by diving into how panic
attacks and social anxiety are deeply rooted in the brain
and nervous system. The amygdala, the brain's alarm system, can
(36:43):
be hyper sensitive, sending out danger signals even when there's
no real threat. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, the part of
the brain responsible for logical thinking, can struggle to override
those alarm signals in moments of heightened anxiety. This explains why,
even when you logically know you're safe, your body reacts
as if you're in immediate danger. The good news the
(37:06):
brain is adaptable through neuroplasticity. It's possible to rewire these
responses over time with the right techniques and repeated practice.
By consciously engaging in strategies that signal safety to the brain,
you can create new pathways that allow for more ease
in social interactions. We then explored personal experiences and how
(37:28):
social anxiety manifests in real life situations. Whether it's feeling
frozen in a work meeting, overthinking a casual conversation, or
avoiding social interactions altogether. These experiences are incredibly common. Many
people feel trapped in cycles of avoidance, where fear of
embarrassment leads to withdrawal, reinforcing the belief that social situations
(37:50):
are dangerous. Breaking this cycle starts with awareness, recognizing that
avoidance strengthens anxiety, while small intentional steps towards connection help
to weaken it. Knowing that you're not alone in these
struggles is a powerful first step in shifting your mindset.
Social anxiety thrives on isolation, but the truth is millions
(38:12):
of people are navigating the same feelings, each in their
own way. From there, we moved into practical strategies. Grounding
techniques like the five four three two one method help
redirect attention away from panic and back to the present.
Controlled breathing techniques such as box breathing and diaphragmatic breathing
(38:32):
activate the body's relaxation response and help regulate the nervous system.
Cognitive reframing allows us to challenge anxious thoughts and see
situations from a more balanced perspective, shifting from worst case
scenario thinking to a more neutral, compassionate outlook. Exposure therapy
in small steps helps desensitize the brain to feared social situations,
(38:55):
rewiring the brain's learned fear responses over time. Physical movement,
mindfulness practices, and even sensory anchors like holding a familiar
object all serve as powerful tools for calming the nervous system.
The more you integrate these techniques into daily life, the
more automatic they become, allowing you to feel more in
control when anxiety arises. And of course we talked about
(39:19):
the role of humor. When we take a step back
and reframe our anxious moments as funny rather than terrifying,
we start to take away some of their power. Whether
it's imagining our anxious thoughts as exaggerated sitcom dialogue, creating
an anxiety blooper reel, or giving our anxiety a ridiculous name.
Humor reminds us that awkwardness is just part of being human.
(39:42):
By learning to laugh at our social mishaps, we create
space for joy instead of fear, and we remind ourselves
that even the most confident people have embarrassing moments. Another
important takeaway from this episode is that self compassion is
a key ingredient in managing anxiety. Many people with social
anxiety are incredibly self critical, replaying past interactions and focusing
(40:06):
on perceived mistakes. Practicing self compassion means treating yourself with
the same kindness you would offer a friend, instead of
berating yourself or feeling nervous. Acknowledge that anxiety is a
natural response and that you're doing your best. You're allowed
to be human, and humans make mistakes, stumble over words,
(40:27):
and feel awkward. Sometimes. Learning to respond to yourself with
patience rather than frustration can change your entire relationship with anxiety.
The biggest message we hope you take away from this
episode is that anxiety isn't a life sentence. It's something
that can be worked with, reshaped, and even softened with time.
The key is consistency. The more you practice these techniques,
(40:50):
the more automatic they become. Small daily changes add up
to a stronger, more resilient nervous system and a more
confident version of you. And even on the days when
anxiety feels overwhelming, remind yourself that progress isn't linear. Every
effort counts, even if it's just recognizing that your fears
don't define you. As we close, remember that progress doesn't
(41:14):
mean never feeling anxious again. It means having the tools
to respond differently when anxiety arises. It means feeling more
in control, more self compassionate, and more willing to step
into the social world without fear dictating your every move.
And most importantly, it means knowing that you are not alone.
Millions of people experience social anxiety, and every step you
(41:37):
take toward managing it is a step toward greater freedom
and connection. If today's episode resonated with you, consider practicing
one of the strategies we discussed. Start small, maybe using
a grounding technique, shifting your inner dialogue to be more compassionate,
or gently challenging an avoidance habit. And if you found
(41:58):
value in the podcast, you can support us by joining
our supporters club for just three dollars a month. Details
can be found in the episode description wherever you get
your podcasts. Next time, we'll be exploring how music can
be used as a powerful grounding tool for anxiety and
emotional regulation. Music has a unique ability to shift our mood,
(42:19):
regulate the nervous system, and provide comfort during anxious moments.
We'll explore the science behind it, practical ways to use
music for anxiety relief, and share stories from listeners who
have found solace in their favorite songs. Until then, take care,
and remember you're not alone in this
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