Hot Topics: Reesa Tessa TikTok 50 series special and Mo 'Niique the comic

Second month of the year 2024 can you say it's been off the chain. Join us tonight as we talk about what's been happening in the media, Join myself, Dog pound Mike Mike and maybe our resident therapist Dr. Will stop by and make sense of all whats been going on from Mo' Nique interview with Club Shay Shay and her back and forth with her oldest son to the TikTok on the 52 episode of Reesa Teesa "Who TF I marry" and much more. See yall later tonight.

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This is your girl Nyomi Banks. Keep bridging that gap." Always keep it Simply Sexy"

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Yeah, bridging the gap. NaomiBanks the goddess tune in. Hey,
you know black where we at elements? Got a problem? What's the issue?

(00:24):
Asks Naomi for advice, She willbless you. Is it sex,
love or relationships? If your spiritsit down, you can get a daily
uplift. Just listen to every wordthat she speaks, setting trends with hashtags
for every day of the week hashtagmotivational, Monday's testimonial Tuesdays. I've been
listening in for the last two dayswith Willy your Wisdom Wednesdays. Either way,

(00:46):
the conversation gonna be lengthy. It'snot hearsay. This is her way,
you know. If she'll keep youthirst trapping on the Thursday, four
days down, I'll talk about thenumber five day and that. Of course,
she always keeps it freaking on Fridays, siritual on Saturdays with sessions in
the morning, still uplifting and inspiringyou all in being the goddess that she

(01:07):
is. She keeps you all informed on soul searching Sundays. Just call
in if you miss in forms canget the facts. Fortunate for you,
she's looking to bridge the gap.Yes, she was a porn star bus.
She's more than that, she's acertified specialist teaching us how to act.
By the end of the show,we'll agree to disagree, but be
good to each other and ourselves andkeep it sexy. Yeah. Tune in

(01:30):
every week to asks Naomi Bridging theGap with Naomi Banks and dog Pod Mike
Mike, don't miss it. Tunein all right, right, right,
I right a ride my sexy people. Hey it is Thursday. All right,
a right, a right, allright, instagrat, you got here

(01:51):
on a ris of the Gap podcastwhen we talk about love, sex,
relationship, cultural differences, and somuch more by bridging the gap between them
all and teaching the world on sex, love, language, attitude and some
spiritual uplifting. But today today we'regonna be doing some hot topic today hot

(02:12):
topic. You know, we've beenkind of serious on the past, you
know, a few weeks, right, which was the end of February.
It's the second month of the year, and oh hell is breaking loose on
the on the tube. It isthat I kind of got lost in a
little thing this past weekend. Lastweekend, I kind of went on the
low vibrational weekend with this this topday I wanted to share with y'all,

(02:32):
but it's hot topic and hot topic. But see, I couldn't do it
by myself, you know. Yeah, I got dog pound Mike mic right,
but I had to I had tobring our resident therapist, you know.
I had to bring him in justso you know, you know,
we like to have a little fun. But I needed him to kind of,
you know, beat a little littlestraight top comedy today. Right,
So we got doctor Whell with ustoday. Hey, doctor whel it's so

(02:57):
good to see you today. Iwas like, happy Thursday. It's it's
been quite the week. It's beenquite the week. Yes, this week
has been weekend. Yes, it'sbeen weakening. It's been weekend. It's
been weekend. It's been weaken throughthe week. Yeah, truly has Thank
you. So let me say so, I know you guys are looking like,
hold on something going on with Naomi. So let me tell y'all something

(03:17):
today not too long ago. Ilike this and what I do this,
y'all is feels so good. I'veliterally it feels so good. I like
this. I like this. Youlike this, was like she said,

(03:45):
So let me tell y'all how allof this came about. So I've been
thinking about doing it for the pastfew months. And my sister, Now,
my sister has both of her sizeshaven. She has locks as well.
She has both for her her sideday and I was like, the
thing is my size. I'm gettinga little older and they were thinning.

(04:06):
So this week three of my lockscame out. Yeah, and three of
my locks came out. So I'mI'm steady trying to relock and save this
hair. Help me here, understand, even though all the rest of my
hair is thick, but it's justover here on my left side. Just
just been like fine. I waslike, okay, I think I'm ana

(04:29):
shave it, and so I hit. I hit my good girlfriends, miss
sharp Man, I said, thinkingabout shaving the side of my head.
I said, what do you think. She's like, I think it's gonna
be sexy. So let me saythis, And I want to give a
shout out to Motive Goddess. WhenI saw Mota Goddess, beautiful woman,
she had actually got both of herside of her head shaved. You know,
I was like, mmmuiful. Yeah, I said, that looks sexy.

(04:54):
Hmm. I sat with I satwith it for a few days.
And then today to I went inand I grabbed my hair and I was
like, okay, what I'm gonnado it with it? Then I then
I started thinking, and then Ithought about what I had took out my
extensions. Remember I had did awhole video on it, remember y'all,
and that I had kept had myextenses in for like six months maybe,

(05:15):
And so I had underestimated the growththat I did and I kind of used
it as a you know, alittle form. So actually the left side
was the hair that I cut toomuch up. So I really was underestimating
the length of what I remember,I cut like this much of my hair
on my left side. Yeah.So you know, I'm always trying to
make something of a learning, alearning for me, a learning kind of

(05:44):
thing to me, And so I'mgonna tell you exactly what it is.
So I went in my little goldenrolls room and I sat down in front
of the mirror and I did anice little quick prayer, and I was
like, is it time for meto start over or shave it off or
give it a relax because I'm I'mthinking matter of fact, when I think,
right now, this is probably wheremost of my migraines come from on
the side. Mmmm, this iswhere it starts. Yes, And so

(06:12):
when I when I cut and Ishaved out, actually when it brought me
some brand new clippers. When Icut and I shaved it, I did
a nice exfoliated with it, putsome you know, created some nice little
oils for it, massaged it allof that. Then I railed my head
like this, and I was like, oh that, and it was just
so relaxing, and I'm like,okay, I can do that. Can

(06:36):
I said, I can rock this. I can do this. For a
minute, what are you doing?Everybody was in shock because they never seen
me. I've shaved off all ofmy head, but it's always been a
little astylished now. But but itwas just so dramatic for them to see
one side is really really long andthe other side is straight ball you know,

(06:57):
bowl like this, but it's relaxedseen for me. So if y'all
see me do like this while wetalk and just know that I'm having some
moments. You're thinking, right,we'll just say what you feel. Have
been off for thirty years? WillI've been balls your time? Right?

(07:19):
I got I got my size alittle down. I always have a design
on the side. I was like, I'm still on the fade game.
I still got to keep the fadeeaa long time ago, you got a
full fade, you got a fullfaed Well today topic and it's it's been

(07:40):
going on for a whole week.And I think me, actually me and
doctor Will had talked about was ittoday, was it this morning or yesterday?
I told you that I went downthat little rabbit hole. Yeah,
you were in a rabble, yeahyeah, yeah, yah, I went
down a little rabbit hole with thislow vibrational series that was going on on
tik tik. But it's just amazing. But I had wanted to really tap
into you or your thought pattern on. Of course I'm gonna get dar Parl

(08:03):
might mate, but I wanted toget somebody to kind of help us understand,
you know, what was coming fromfrom this other person. So the
name of the name of this seriesis called who the fuck did I'm marry?
And this is about this young ladynamed Resa Tisa and she did a
fifty a fifty series, so it'sfifty video series that she did from February

(08:24):
fourteenth to the sixteenth. I thinkit was because my birthday was on the
fifteenth, so the sixteen or seventeenwhatever. But by the end of the
week it was all the way done. I think it was Friday night,
the day that I was shut down. Friday and Saturday, I was watching
it and watching it live with everybodyelse. And when I say that,

(08:45):
I got caught up in it.It was the best them low vibrational series
that I've ever seen. It wasjust real. And now they have like
some some different seasons with it becausepeople has come out, people has come
out. The woodwork with it,from the different ex wives, the ex

(09:07):
girlfriends. It's just been something.So this is what I want to do.
I want to take a break andI want to come back. I
tried to get Mike, Mike towatch it. I send him some things.
I don't know if he watched someof it or anything like that,
but I know we have some folksover there. Beat Actually don't say hey,
BTG crew, my BTG crew overthere, everybody over there. But

(09:28):
yes, it's very interesting. I'mgonna give y'all like a rundown when we
come back from the break. Butyeah, it's it's something else. It's
it is, it's something else.All right, so we'll be back with
our hot topics today. The Sagartygot his makes on ax Naomi Bridging the
Gap podcast. We'll be right back. Hey is doctor Will with the Washington

(09:48):
Wants the Institute. Here at theInstitute, we focus on so many different
things, but our biggest focus ismodernizing how we take mental illness into holistic
wellness and healing a lifestyle. Soif you're interested in taking the next steps,
whether it's a clinician, community member, something just a friend, sid
up today for fifteen minute consultation.You won't regret it, Be kind to

(10:11):
yourself, and he'll always Welcome tothe season of Self Love Podcast with Naomi
Banks, where every day is achance to embrace self discovery and personal growth.
Join Naomi on a transformative journey,streaming exclusively on Spotify and Breaker with
daily episodes from Monday. Drew FridayPodcast is your daily dose of inspiration,

(10:37):
motivation and self love. Dint deepinto engaging conversations about self care, mindfulness,
and personal development. May only bringsyou expert insights, practical tips,
end uplifting stories from thought leaders inthe field. Embark on a journey of
self discovery and unlock the power ofself love. Mark your calendars and tune

(10:58):
into the Season of off Love podcast, available every weekday on the start of
Body and Speaker. Remember it's timeto prioritize yourself and embrace the beautiful season
of self love. Get inspired andjoin Naomi Banks on the Season of self
Love podcast. All Right, InshagurtyGout is not here on x Naomi Bridging

(11:20):
a Gap podcast. We are herewith Doug, Mike, Mike and Doctor
Will And today it's all about ahigh topic day. It's something that's been
going on all week. Well,actually I want to talk about before I
get on that. I want todiscuss and I want to ask you this
Doctor Will too. I want toask you your your input on it as
well as your down part mind.So well, actually it started off last

(11:43):
week. It kicked off with Moniquethe comedian was on Club right, you
know, and she was kind ofletting everything out. You know. The
big running thing is the question ofher of how she was blackballing and and
she so she was mostly telling hertruth and she and he asks about her
her oldest son, and she expressedthat they had a strange relationship, right,

(12:05):
and you know, honestly, Andit was so funny because even watching
that show, that episode, Iwas like, well, no one we've
never seen or her from this thisson. You know, this is her
oldest son. And she said,you know, with their difficulties and stuff
like that, because when she hadhim, she was, you know,
just in the beginning of her career, so she couldn't really be the mother

(12:28):
that she could to him as sheis with her other three. Right fast
forward, two or three days later, we finally hear from the son.
The son goes and does a livemind you no one ever heard him or
nothing, and he speaks and saysgreat voice, speaks and talks about his

(12:50):
relationship with his mother. So inthis he says that he hasn't been raised
by his mother. He's been raisedby other people, but it's others showed
him love through gifts. He's alwayslooked for attention from his mother, but
of course she was working, soshe really never had the chance to give
it to him. They never reallybeen able to reconnect the way that he

(13:15):
might want to. You understand onsin for that, all right, So
he expressed that he said some ofthe things that she said, yeah,
yeah, but other things he wantedher to start being accountable for her lack
of being a mother to him.You understand what I'm saying. So what
I saw is this still is aher child that's still speaking in the matter

(13:37):
of Okay, you keep saying thisthat you know, but you not saying
it to me. So you're sayingto others and you're not saying to me.
So the next day, Monique andher husband gets on Live and they
have a conversation, and one ofthe conversations was that one of the statements

(13:58):
that they was made is that,well, my son is going through something
mentally right now. I don't knowexactly what it is. And she said,
just a little bit. And thenthe husband begins to speak, and
in that manner, the husband,you know, talking directly to the son
and to me. And I'm justgonna be honest when I say this to

(14:18):
me, it was more of whatwe gave you money when you didn't have
money, because you're supposed to bea man in that source. Now I'm
gonna go back to well he said, he said, no, his mother
did give him money, he said, my mother, he said, But
that's not what I'm talking about.I'm talking about what I needed besides money.

(14:39):
And then it was a statement thatthe stepfather said, we have three
sons, and he said, I'ma son too. What happened to me
his four sons, so Monique saidin the conversation with him, and the
hobby is that, well, no, he has three son us. You

(15:01):
are my son. You know himby uncle sid. He knew you before
you were you so for him andwhy I laugh because you can hear the
hurt and he talks very well,I mean great voice, could say his

(15:26):
word thing. You know, hehad him written down so he can be
able to speak, you know,as he say it. But you can
see the hurt and you can seethis is a hurt little boy that's looking
for his mother to love him,just to love him, to show him
what he needed back then. Hestill needs it now. So when you

(15:46):
go through the comments of everything onboth sides, you see that people are
saying, no, you need tobe a man and you need to grow
up. You need to leave thatalone. You understand what I'm saying.
So it's like and I believe wetalked talked about this in the past two
shows that we had this morning forthe season and some love about healing that
little little person. We actually hada great It felt like I was on

(16:11):
I was, I was on thecouch this morning with our episode with the
fearful, with the fool and thefear with that one. And let me
just give a little intake on thatone. On that conversation, we were
talking about fear, and he hasasked me several different questions about me and
how I deal with fear and howI looked at it at fear and what

(16:33):
a breakthrough that came from me isthat at that moment in time, right
in front of the camera, Iactually trusted my intuition. So he was
able to help me to open upsomething that I hadn't been able to open
up ever because I've always had sometype of mask on myself period period.

(16:56):
But listen, but what I'm sayingis that even through through our conversation that
we had this morning, starting withthe four year old and going back up
and moments of times we need togo back and we need to be able
to help that young person here andit's and for him, he's saying that
if you, as a as mymother, being on a big platform and

(17:18):
you speaking and you want to makeeverybody else accountable for their wrongdoing to you.
How about you come back home andbe accountable for your wrongdoing to me.
M hm hm mm hmm. Andit's so funny because Melissa says she

(17:42):
tried to I tried to watch Moniqueher husband. I tried to watch it
because I loved me some Monique,I do. And but when I saw
the way that they came back tothat to that young man, it was
so offsetting to me because I said, you're not here with this, with
this young man said, you didnot hear it at all. You're coming

(18:03):
back on defense instead of picking upa phone and say, baby, let's
talk. You know, you knowwhat I'm saying, like, let's talk.
But you go on to live andyou allow your husband to do most
of the speaking to him and younot addressing it. So as a young

(18:26):
man, for you, as atherapist, what would you say to that
young man? Now? I meanthat's this is this is a hard one
because I'm thinking of it as atherapist. I'm thinking it as a black
man. I'm thinking of it asa black boy. And so there's three

(18:52):
hats that I'm wearing when I whenI when I hear this. I don't
really get into entertainment. I staykind of centered in the things I'm involved
in. So to hear that asI'll do each hat and I'll do it
briefly. So as a therapist,it's not what you think, it's how
they feel. It's not what youthink, it's how they feel. And

(19:18):
so it's sad that, especially inthe Black community, when it comes to
a time to hold emotional accountability,black parents fail so much in the ability
to remove themselves from the thought thatthey were being providers, and they lack
the nurture and quality at times becauseof their own survival, because of their
own hardship, because of their ownadversity, because of their own survival to

(19:41):
get to a place where they couldbe successful. And a lot of times,
especially for Black women, when Isee a black woman highly successful,
I'm always curious in the back ofmy mind to ask, what did you
sacrifice to get here? Because Ido know that black women sacrifice twice as
much to get to those spaces toeven be seen where we actually go and
watch them live. So I alwaysthink about what would happen, what happened

(20:06):
to you to get to that place? As a black man, it hurts
to see another black man be themouthpiece and protect something that actually comes from
something before you. Yeah right.It's also black men are always put in

(20:29):
positions to take the bullet, butthen also get in trouble for putting the
bullet in the gun at the sametime too, So it's like we can't
shoot it and we can't put them. It's like figure out what to do,
so let me just become mouthpieces.And so it feels, you know,
I have no disrespect or anything,but it's one of those things whereas

(20:51):
a black man to a black man, I want to know what is your
position in this, and what isthe cost of you not being the piece,
the mouthpiece for this? What wouldhave happened if you didn't speak up
and you allowed them to have amother's son conversation, especially as a stepfather,
Yeah right, in that type ofsituation. And then as a black

(21:12):
boy, it hurts because many timesblack boys are shut out of the emotional
conversations, out of the ability tobe seen and felt, and they're asked
to perform a certain level that removestheir entire identity, of their internal identities.
And so whether he had a mentalillness, or not. We always

(21:33):
do that right when we know,right when I get this all the time.
When my clients walk in, theselittle black boys walk into my office
and sell on my couch, Ialways get told, oh, he had
mental health issues. And then Igo okay, So I sit down,
I do the intake. I'm askingall my questions, doing all the therapeutic
questions. Make sure I'm you know, making sure I can make a diagnosis.

(21:53):
And I really can't make a diagnosis. What it is is that your
mother doesn't care about how you feel. She ain't got time for that.
She doesn't have time to really considerwhat you're really going through because she's focused
more on success than the actual developmentof her child, you know. And
we talk a lot about how wellthey have to make sure they're protected and

(22:15):
all this, and is it reallyprotection. It's not protection at that point.
So even if they had a mentalillness and they came online, the
fact that they had to go liveto get your attention, that's a grown
boys a man, right. Theyknew how to create something, write something

(22:37):
out, went live and was ableto discuss it and got through it,
which means that they have enough consciousnessand cognitive ability to express what they're going
through. And as a parent,once again, it goes back to it's
not what I think, it's howthey feel, especially at that age,
right, And so you know,as a therapist, I just I wonder

(23:02):
what's the internal sacrifice that you're holdingon to that you haven't let go of
the fear of being seen for whatyou have not been? Yeah? Right,
as a black man, I'm wondering, why is it that you feel
like you, as a man,you need to step in now? Why
weren't you stepping in before? Andif you did decided not to step in,
who was stopping you from thinking youhad the You didn't have the power
to step back or step forward?Right? Who holds the power in the

(23:26):
relationship dynamic of your own manhood?And as a black why I just want
to say, I'm sorry that youfelt like you had to be seen by
doing that. Yeah, you know, it was a question for him that
a lot of a lot of Iguess comment I don't know, Monique fans
and just people just watching, youknow, asking why did you You know?

(23:51):
The question was why? And heeven said it in his studies,
said, you know, I knowyou all wondering why did I come to
the internet. I've never I've nevercame before, he said. Because One,
I'm tired of the false narrative that'sbeen put out about our relationship,
he said. One, he said, Two, I wanted to be able
to speak without being interrupted. Hm. That doesn't sound like someone that has

(24:12):
a mental illness. That sounds likesomebody even if you just have a mental
illness. We all have mental illnesses. Some express more than another, someone
expressed on more than others. Atthe end, So the fact that he
could make that type of decision aboutwhy he wanted to reclaim his power.
Yeah, so that his identity hadintegrity. Yeah, interesting, Yeah,

(24:33):
yeah, And you know it wasit was the part that I did see
of the rebuttal of for his forhis thing, for what he said.
It was so disheartening. It reallywas, because I am a mother and
at a moment in my life,I was a single mother at one time,

(24:56):
and I understand and know the sacrificesthat I've made, and I've been
account I've apologized to my oldest daughterin a very accountable you know, so
I don't I it was very dishearteningknowing that this is something that she's always
we always see her root for isabout people taking accountability, about fairness,

(25:19):
about your character, you know,in that and in that moment, I
felt like they just treated him likehe was just enough on the street.
You understand what I'm saying. Soeven even even speaking a word that my
son has mental illness and and giveit to the masses even if it's true

(25:45):
or not, where does it youas And I hate to say this,
but I'm going to be real,but where at where is it? Your
motherly instance, but say, I'mgonna I'm gonna still protect my baby regardless
of what he say to me,because what I've learned is being a child
and having your own perspective of whathappened back in the day. You understand

(26:10):
what I'm saying. We have ourvision of what happened, and then there's
a vision on what it is you. You understand what I'm saying. And
a lot of times, when hurthappens, Yeah, when that hurt happens,
that child is at that time,at that moment, and it stops
right there, yeah yeah, andthat hurts this right there. So if

(26:32):
you continue to keep hurting this thisbaby over and over again and keep giving
him false hope better, yet youkeep paying him off, because that's what
it feels like, paying them off. He'll he'll call you and say,
well I need this, and you'llgive it to him. But then if
he don't do what you tell himto do or and this is go for
anybody now. I'm just speaking toanybody now if they don't do what you

(26:53):
tell them to do, and thenthen they're there what And I'm guilty of
it because I've done it to myoldest one for you know, will give
her anything, and when she fuckup, you know, it was like,
you know, you so ungrateful,and it was like that's not what
she wanted, Like she wanted mytime, and even though she was with

(27:15):
me, it's still it was stilltime that she needed, you know.
But I was so focused on seceedingproving a point. You understand what I'm
saying. And so but I've takenaccountability and we've had several conversations her and
I, you know, with itand I just looking at Monique and hearing

(27:37):
part of her story because we don'tknow all the story. We just know
on what she tells us, youknow, and that's just like that there's
still that a mask, a veilthat's covered. And now she has another
part of her, her husband,who is a mask that's helped covering it
as well, you know, enablingit. And when I looked at him

(28:00):
before I looked at him, Okay, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
You know, a man and awoman standing up, and he's standing
there. He protected her. Butthen at some point in time, you
all have to step back, movingback, bring that baby because he's still
a baby, even though he agrown man, he's still a baby because
he still did and he's a fathernow. So and that's but this is

(28:22):
but this is the problem I havewith So this is where I get like
on this is the other side rightof me where I have no tolerance.
I have no tolerance for people thatweaponize mental health stigma. And a lot
of black folk in the community takemental illness and put it as a stigma.
It's they it's unless they can controlit or medicate it down, they

(28:45):
don't want to deal with you.They don't want to deal with you,
and so like it's frustrating for youto output their mental illness. And then
but I'm like, we'll talk let'stalk about so when you said that,
what was the point of you talkingabout their mental illness before they had to
say anything, Which means that nowyou're saying that because of mental illness,

(29:06):
they don't have the right consciousness todescribe how they feel. So what makes
you think that you don't have theright to say something with your mental illnesses?
We talked about your stories, Sowhat makes you think that What have
you done to make yourself more Iguess credible? What makes your mental illness
more credible than their mental illness whena lot of their mental illness is probably

(29:27):
coming from your mental illness, Youprobably passed down a lot of so that
lack of accountability and the lack ofwillingness to just accept it's that type of
mindset that ends up to those moresevere forms of mental health which I won't
say online. And then you're wondering, oh, how could this have happened?

(29:47):
Because it's those types. It's notthe type that always externally show themselves.
So it's the ones that are quietand alone and isolated are the ones
that you really got to worry about. And so that just that hurts my
heart to have to see mental illnessstigma being weaponized yeah, for the accountability
and the image of security. That'sthat's not okay, that's not okay.

(30:11):
Yeah, thank you for I justI needed to hear that and why because
I need people to hear that.And I don't know if Monique will ever
see this, but I hope youdo too, that she can just stop
and take a break, you know, take a check. And what I
mean, take a check you becauseat some moment of time in your life
that you knew you needed someone,You needed your parents to be that superhero

(30:33):
and to hear you. So thatsame thing that you needed, that's something
that your son needs as well.You understand what I'm saying. So that's
what you have to really sit andyou really gotta check yourself. Like wait
then, I just you know,hmm, let me go get my baby,
let me live, let me leaveDaddy say see it right here for

(30:53):
a moment, and let me gohave a conversation with my son about you
know, because at one moment itwas you and your son. Even though
whatever is said, I'm sorry,no, no, me, that's disrespectful.
Well see, he was there asyour best friend, but he wasn't
your man then mm hmm. Sonow you got to you understand what I'm
saying. So you have to gograb that young man that you've carried for

(31:15):
how every month you carried him andthat saw you in that moment, and
you have to help him for himto get healed. We are part of
that foundation of helping our children toget here. I don't care what nobody
say, the things that we happento, what we put on our kids.
We have to be accountable for that. As many people will say,

(31:36):
you know where they grown, nowthey can go do with the things that
you know what just true enough,it's true, but still but still you
have to take accountability. What didI show them? What did I show
them? I ain't talking about speakingand talking. What did you show them?
Mm hmm yeah. And and wehave to go and we have to
go back though, right because thetruth is, I think a lot of

(32:00):
parents are scared to enter that space. And so for me, even though
I may have a feeling about it, I still have a heart that goes
out to Monique and for her parentingbecause I know a lot of parents that
are afraid of being themselves. LikeI know a lot of great I know
a lot of great parents that areterrible people, and I know a lot

(32:21):
of terrible people that are great parents. And so it's one of those things
where do you know when it's timeto let your kids see you from mom?
And when do you let them knowlet them know you as Monique?
When do they let you know itas mom and Naomi? When do you
separate the difference and when do youshow them that? Are you ready to
show them that and let them understandthat they can love both? And also

(32:44):
some kids don't know when to lovemom or when to love their name,
whatever their name is, And soyou have to ask yourself what is the
difference, because you're so much morethan all of that. And so I
think a lot of times we're afraidto let go of that label of what
a mom means, or afraid toremove ourselves to be seen for the person
we became, rather than the motherthey only knew us ass or the yeah.

(33:12):
When I say I've done work,I've done the work. I understand.
I've looked at each one of mygirls and I understand. And so
even when they come and talk tome, they can come and talk to
me, and I don't sit injudgment because I understand everything what they are
going through. And I know,especially my oldest baby, like some of

(33:34):
the choices that she made is becauseI put some of those choices in front
of her. You understand what I'msaying, and so and I have to
be I've been responsible for those thingsand you know, and spoke and talk
with her about it, and youknow, each one of them about it.
But coming from a family that youknow, we we don't say nothing.

(33:58):
We keep that mask on, andit's just it. I'm a different
type of I'm a different type ofparent. I'm a different type of a
mother. And I wasn't always thisway. But through my self love process,
through my healing, just growing period, it made me become a better
woman. It truly has. Andnot only am I my daughter's mother,

(34:23):
I am they could say, yeah, you my best friend, because they
would call me in a minute andwill talk to me, you know,
and I would give them the butthen I would still love them too,
you know what I mean. Iwould let them know that they are not
their mistakes, you know, andgive them room to make it. I've

(34:44):
taught myself to step back and allowthem to have their space to be who
they feel that they want. Tobe beyond me or beyond their father said
what I'm saying and allow that.And it took And where I'm where I'm
speaking is because it took me aminute to get there. It took a

(35:09):
minute to get there, because I'mnot mother with something happen. I used
to be right there and she's like, damn, how you gett here?
Oh? I know because I didit. He's just ready right, But
I had to back up. AndI guess when I saw that with mo
Nique, I just I don't know. I that was so disheartening, but

(35:34):
you know what it had needed tohappen and why it needed to happen because
hopefully that she is able to seeherself. Sometimes we don't see ourselves,
so maybe she's able to see herself. And like, look at that video
back and wait, hold on,oh hold, let me go back.

(35:54):
I wish people would watch their videos. I wish people would watch their videos.
People don't watch their videos. Andthat's something I always I always have
my clients like talk about their wholeday and then they recorded audio and when
they wake up the next day,I had them listen to what they said
yesterday and see, like, well, what do I need to do different
from yesterday because the person that wasyesterday saying all that I need to understand

(36:17):
what I need to do to makethat better. And they're like, oh,
I hate listening to myself the nextday. I hate what I said
yesterday. I'm like, well,you went through it, so like you
gotta you gotta like fix it.It's your it's your it's your world,
it's your words. You know,we never learned how to self correct.
Yeah, we never learned how toself correct. And we have to.
We have to, we have to. All right, let's take a quick

(36:40):
break with I ain't mean to spendas much time on Monee because I really
want to talk about the resell Ireally want to talk about that, because
that just spent off THEO. Allright, let's take a quick break.
Uh it'sha gurt you guys number onAccenam Revision the Gap Podcast and we will
be right back. Welcome to theseason of Self Love Podcast with Naomi Banks,

(37:00):
where every day is a chance toembrace self discovery and personal growth.
Join Naomi on a transformative journey streamingexclusively on Spotify and Breaker with daily episodes
from Monday, Drew Friday podcast isyour daily dose of inspiration, motivation,
and self love. Dive deep intoengaging conversations about self care, mindfulness,

(37:23):
and personal development. Nay only bringsyou expert insights, practical tips, end
uplifting stories from thought leaders in thefield. Embark on a journey of self
discovery and unlock the power of selflove. Mark your calendars and tune into
the Season of Self Love podcast,available every weekday on Spotify and Spreaker.

(37:45):
Remember it's time to prioritize yourself andembrace the beautiful season of self love.
Get inspired and join Naomi Banks onthe Season of Self Love podcast. All
right, welcome back, it isyou, Gurty gotta Namy Banks here on
AX. They reaching that podcast.I'm here with Doug Mike. Mike was
up what's going on? And I'mhere with doctor Will was going on.

(38:08):
I had that President powerful all right, I got the BTG crew here.
Hey, hey, everybody, Isee all of the comments, the great,
great comments that you are giving.And in the last before the break,
we were talking about Monique and herson. Tonight's all about hot topics.
But I wanted to bring doctor Willin because I you know, the
hot topics now I've been They've beenvery deep for the past few weeks.

(38:32):
And this past weekend I spent thewhole weekend on the what a Who the
Fuck Did I Marry? Series byResa Mesa on TikTok. And when I
say that, this young lady haddid a fifty series of videos ten minute
videos per video, fifty videos,and I mean, she's taken the the

(38:59):
Internet by store with this. SoI'm going to just give you a rundown
on what it is. She metthis guy in March of twenty twenty,
right when COVID was kicking off.She met him on dating site Facebook Hookups
or whatever, I don't know whatthe Facebook, the Facebook thing and another
one and they met. They met, well, they talked, you know,

(39:22):
was back and forth talking, andthen he asked her out for a
date. So they had He askedme, what's your favorite restaurant and she
said the cheesecake Factory. Okay,he said, okay, Well let's meet
in between. This is in Georgiaand Georgia. Let's meet in between,
and you know, we can youknow, have a date. Then.
So he's at the restaurant waiting forher or whatever, and she's on her
way. While she's on her way, she gets a blowout. She gets

(39:49):
a blowout, all right, Soat this time she's man so she calls
him her no, let him knowthat she has a blowout. He was
like, oh, well, whereyou as send me a ping, I'll
come and help you out. Shecomes. She like, oh my god,
like he's coming to help me,to save me. Oh my god,
he's you know, gonna be great. I hope he looks the way

(40:13):
that he said he looks. Hecomes, of course to her, he's
gorgeous, six six four, amazing, just whatever. He changes her tire.
Then he goes and buys her atire, you know, goes and
buy her attire. So they havea great conversation, they you know,
eating whatever whatever. They date foranother two weeks. Then COVID really happens,

(40:37):
and this is where city started shuttingdown. So Atlanta's just down.
So now they're trying to figure outhow we're going to be together in COVID
in one you know, situation orwhat. So they decide to go stay
at her house. Right, Sohe has told her that he's a VP

(40:57):
of a company. He has suchand such, you know, has all
of these different things. You know, he did say that he was married
before that he got a divorced becausehe walked in on his wife's cheating on
him. But he still has agreat connection with the step kids and such
and such and such. It's justlike, okay, no, And the
process of all of this goes inis that he he begins to lie about

(41:22):
a lot of things everything. Sohe has told her that he had had
five four brothers, four brothers,four brothers two from a previous relationship that
his father had had that was hishalf brothers, and then the two brothers,
two other brothers, and then twosisters. Okay, she she thought

(41:47):
she met two of the brothers,and she's heard him speak to the other
brother and she heard him speak tosome other people that he said who died
during COVID. It was all abig lie. Everything was a lie from

(42:08):
the very first conversation, even withthe wife. And I would want to
share it here with but I'm notyou can you can't. I can't really
share it on here. But sheoriginally found out that everything was a lie,
that he did not he was notthe VP. He actually was a

(42:30):
temporary networked the tempt service. Theyeven went into as much as to go
to buy a house. He saidthat he had the money for the down
payment for a house, that hehas gotten a loan for seven hundred thousand
dollars from Chase. He had toprint out and everything, like he had

(42:50):
all of everything to he had theproof of everything. And so she didn't
think that it was a lie,but to come out that it was a
lie, that everything that he wasgoogled and we saw the screenshot and yeah,
all of that, Yeah, itwas all of that. And she

(43:14):
had a miscarriage. It was justso many things that she had. So
it was one statement that she madeand I think it was in part four
or five, and she said,what he would do is he will watch
you as he built up, buildyou up with excitement, and then watch

(43:37):
you as he tell you it can'thappen. Mmm mmmm, Like purposely would
do like, well, watch we'llsay, Okay, we're gonna go get
this, we're gonna go look atthis house, we're gonna go get this
car, we're gonna go you know, we're gonna go do this, We're
gonna do that. And it wasalways an excuse on why something is not

(43:59):
gonna hap and then so it's likeyou would get her all round up and
then mm hmmm. So it's almostlike bread crumbing. Now what's that.
What does that called? It's calledI call it bread crumbing. Bread crumbing.
So explain that to the listeners withthat mean in me too? Yeah,

(44:23):
I mean I know that, butI want yeah. Yeah. So
so what someone will do is it, especially for pathological liars, what they'll
do is they'll they'll show you theloaf of bread and they wanted to make
sure that you get the slice andbe like, I'm gonna give you the
slice. And what they do isthey give you they picked pieces of the

(44:45):
crust so that it feeds you justenough. But you know, you always
want what's going was beyond the crust, right, we want that soft part.
And so when the bread crumb,they give you the hard part where
it's like it tastes a little bitgood, but you want but you know
you want you want that that insidepart. You want that inside part.
And so what they do is theykeep bread crumbing around the whole thing and

(45:07):
then once all the crust is done, they put that they put the bread
right back in the loaf and theyget another piece. So you never actually
get to bite the actual loaf ofbread, but you always eat the crust.
So that's what you call it.Crumbs. You're bread crumbing me.
So they always get So that's whatit does to keep you coming. And

(45:29):
then also if you plan it wellenough, like on their end, if
they can give you the whole planet, what's going to happen, How it's
going to happen? Those are thecrumbs, right, And so the consistency
of language of the promise is moreimportant than the actual offering, because the
truth is is that when you havea loaf of bread, you got a
lot of pieces to give, right, right, And so pathological liars will

(45:52):
do that. And with narcissism especially, what they do is they use the
bread crumbing as a way to keepyou attached and can nectar the feeling obligated
to them while destroying your identity tomake you more attached. Yeah, and
that's something that she said, shesaid, she said she is a different
woman. She says she don't evenrecognize she don't even know who that woman

(46:13):
was before she met him, Likeit's like she don't even know how to
get back there or what it was. But this the thing is is that
he has done this to several differentwomen. He has been married twice before
then and had some girlfriends in betweenthen that has he has done the same

(46:37):
thing with them. His family,His family do not talk to him.
I think she said, just thetwin he has a twin brother, but
everyone else does it because they said, this is something that he's always done.
He's always been a liar. Andshe said she, you know,
she you know, has psychology classesand all of those things and all of

(46:58):
that, and she said, butshe never really went deep into it.
You know, it was just apart of a course that she needed and
she just really didn't you know,she's the compulsive liar, and now it's
going to a whole nother level.And she says, she just didn't understand
how someone can do that. Sociopathic. Yeah, it's almost sociopathic, man.

(47:22):
Yeah, yeah, you know,that's a sociopathic mindset where where it's
almost on the point of I candissociate what my identity is to be what
your heart needs so that I don'thave to actually be myself and so those
type of chameleon like behaviors. I'mgoing to be with everything, but your
heart needs that I can have whatI want and then never had to be

(47:45):
actually have ownership. And so I'mjust curious more about how that man grew
up and what he went through tomake him understand that that was the way
that he needed to survive. SoI'm wondering what that little boy went through
to become that person, Especially there'sa twin. I'm very curious what was
their upbringing like to make him decidethat that was the answer and for the

(48:08):
other one not to decide that wasthe answer, right, you know.
And I thought about that, andI'm trying to remember who that was that
I was speaking to, that Iwas talking to about that, And I
believe she even said she said,I don't She said, I don't understand
how they can let him go thislong like that. So if you knew
that was him, how can youlet him go that long without that?

(48:29):
The thing is that he's all Healways had money, He's always had like
she said, Like he took careof the bills at the house, like
he paid the rent, He tookcare of the bills like that. You
know he did that. She justnever the lies that he told. You
didn't understand why those lies were werewas the lies, like it just didn't

(48:49):
make any sense on how it wasn'tjust it just wasn't sitting right with her
or anyone else, Like they hada miscarriage. And he had told his
aunt, who turned out to benot his aunt but his mother's best friend,
is that they had a son.He was born in January. And
then the iye kept asking, well, where's the pictures? Well, when

(49:09):
you're gonna bring them here, youknow, when we're gonna see the baby,
you know, such and such andsuch didn't see the baby. She
found out from you know, theex wife. She was like, no,
we I lost that baby in June. I had a miscarre She said,
I've been asking this boy, thisman, you know, let me
see some pictures whatever whatever, becauseshe said you had them in you know,

(49:30):
in January and stuff, and likeliterally this man had told her that
his ex wife daughter his stepdaughter,had died of COVID in twenty twenty,
and said that she had asked theex wife had asked him to for two
thousand dollars if they can help forthe funeral, and she said, yeah,

(49:51):
sure, she said, because ain'tnobody gonna play with death. But
he goes to so much as somebodywho has passed a long time ago to
say that they died in twenty twentyduring COVID or you know, or you
understand what I'm saying. And itwas like, like, what's happening?
Or he'll pretend like he was talkingto his brother who he hasn't talked to
since twenty fifteen, who said thatif I see him, I'm a business

(50:15):
you know what I'm saying. Andso it's like, you know, and
he said, she said, Isat there with him while he's talking to
his brother. I couldn't hear hisbrother. Boys, but he'll say,
you know, well, my brothersaid hey, she said, tell him.
I say hey, Like, well, we go through the motions.

(50:36):
I feel sorry. I mean,of course he's wrong, right, But
I also wonder her about what madeher continue? What did she think,
well, who is she before thishappened? Right? And what profile identity
of emotions did she have that wouldallow herself to be in this Cody pen

(51:00):
the ill nurtured lifestyle. Right,So like you know, she said,
like you said, like she doesn'tknow who she is anymore. I'm like,
well, did you know who youwere before this? Yeah? Right,
yeah, and to that consistency ofill patterned behavior, you know,
and you being responsive to that andallowing yourself to be let down, allowing

(51:22):
yourself to do these things. Thiswas an emotional predator, all right,
This is an emotional predator. Andso you being preyed upon. I'm just
curious, you know, what happens? What has been going on in your
life for you to not make theboundary that was needed to protect yourself just
in general. And so I hateto say it, but there's a lot

(51:43):
of people that are so ready tobe in the committed relationship that they're willing
to take the simplest of consistencies orjust promises rather than what their actual compatibility
and standard is. And I'm notsaying she doesn't have standards. I'm not
saying that, but it's at somepoint you have to question yourself about who
did I think I had to beto continue him? Right? You know?

(52:08):
It was? The thing is isthat when when she began to when
she said I'm gonna share my story, and she said I'm gonna share that,
I'm gonna share the good bed andugly, she says it's gonna be
many times on here that I'm gonnasay, so stuff, it's not so
enlightened for me that I when Ilook back on it is very embarrassing that
it might make me look like inthe bad life. And she says,
she just yeah, like she justdidn't under like, you know how you

(52:31):
want to give somebody the benefit ofthe doubt. And it was even in
the first lie that she called him. In the first lie, she gave
him out, like she literally shesaid she gave She said, I gave
him out. I gave him out. And it was like, you know,

(52:52):
she said, I don't even Ican't even give an an excuse of
why I would do that, shesaid, but I don't. I guess
I thought maybe it'd get better.But then she did say and and I
forgot that. She said, Iwas seeing people with families and the kids
and the children, and she said, I just thought it was my turn.

(53:15):
I just thought it was my turn. I didn't realize that that blowout
that was a sign. Yeah,And then when she had that miscarriage,
that was a sign. And alot of times we missed that sign.
A lot of times we pray forthings God shows us, and we do

(53:38):
what the hell we want. Todo that sensitivity, the spiritual health.
Yeah, so it's like, doyou really know what you want? Mm
hmm. Right, And that's andI and I and she's truly a victim.
And you know, when you givesomebody that out, you're also giving

(54:00):
yourself that out too. A lotof times you always say, I'm giving
you that out, but really whatyou're doing is you're hoping that they choose
what you want. Yeah, it'snot really about your standard at that point.
Yeah, And you know, andI and I know there's so many
relationships in this world right now,especially that people are using convenience mm hm

(54:22):
over their own actual emotional needs andmental stability. Yeah, that's and that's
so hard, you know, Andthat's that's very difficult to be with a
pathological lie, that breadcrumbs and that'syou know, there's there's so much the
codependency in there. Yeah, that'svery co dependent. Yeah, even in
described it's such a lot. It'sit's a great story, it is,

(54:44):
because you'll be sitting there like girl, what like what like what? But
now he has been revealed. Shedidn't reveal him, but somebody went.
Social media is a beast. Theyalways find it. They found them.
They found him, They found him, and we truly see what she was
talking about because he said that hewas on set. He had just left

(55:09):
on Netflix. Netflix was filming hisdocumentary. He've been filming for the past
sixteen days. Mind you, thevideo just started on the fourteenth, so
it don't have been up for fivesix Wow. Netflix move fast. Yes,
So it's like what she said,he's showing us in a whole different

(55:34):
you know what I'm saying, Likeshe's showing it all. But the thing
is is that the ex wife,the very first wife that she found out
just looking at her mother obituary,she didn't even know it was the first
wife. Her son came out,I mean her son came out and revealed,
yeah, my mom was married tohim. And then the ex wife
did a live show today with someoneand she originally told her story before a

(55:59):
little bit of it and she hadsaid, you know, it's been ten
years. She said, I'm nowmarried. I've healed from that. That
was that was you know, shemet the family, she met, the
mom, she met the dad,she's met everybody. She said, No
that he was very That was thevial, like it's that's vile. You

(56:20):
know, and she was speaking intothe other young lady and said, I
hope you get some healing in somewheresomehow. She said, I just don't
want to be a part of it. And I guess somebody must say and
I guess people were coming into hercomments and speaking, and she decided that
okay, yes, I'm going totell my story. Now. People are
coming at her as well as theyare a kiss, like, why would

(56:42):
you tell your story? Why wouldyou want, you know, to get
paid for your story? Why wouldyou you know? Is it a money
grab? Is the money? Thisis the money that? And and someone
said in there, you know,I'm kind of questioning that that they did
that, and I said, youknow, I don't know. And why
I can say, it's because Ihave been in the public and people will
take your story and write your narrativefor you. And he paid off of

(57:05):
that. So why is it thatyou, as a person that this has
happened too. Why can't you comeand tell your story and be able to
benefit off of it. You understandwhat you know, And people say,
well, no, they shouldn't bedoing this. Why not this lady Tisa,
I don't care how long it tookher to do it, and she's

(57:27):
still going through it right now,you know, and why can't she?
I believe for me, I believethis is the blessing that she has.
So funny that it's happening. Buthe's now been revealed, so now he
can't do it no more. Youknow, it won't be as easy anymore.
That maybe it will help the nextwoman or man, whatever the victim

(57:50):
that he has, or anybody else. So now they can know what that
looks like, because a lot ofpeople don't know what science to look like
for a pathological liar, what's thesign of that? So for you,
doctor, what will be one ofthe red flags the key to knowing of
a pathological life? Too much upfront, too fast, the relationship feel like

(58:14):
a hill, And if you can'ttell what part of the hill you're at,
that's a problem. If you're startingtoo high, it means you're gonna
fall. If you start too low, you should ask where are you at
with this? If you don't knowwhere you're at in the hill with somebody,
then you need to check yourself firstbefore you check them, because what
it means is that you're not beingauthentic. So I always use the hill

(58:37):
method as my way of understanding whatis the actual currency of this relationship?
What is the currency of this relationship? Is it time? Is it money,
is it sex? Is it conditions? Is it situations? What's the
currency of this And then ask yourselfon that hill? Where am I at
right now on this hill with them? Right? Okay, So let me

(59:00):
say, I'm about to be reallyhonest with I'm not a heel person.
I'm not. I'm about to giveyou my goddamn book, and I'm about
to give you my goddamn book becauseI don't want to go up and I
got damn. So that would bethat would be that's either on the bottom,
that's on the that's either the bottomof the hill, or that's at
the top of the hill. Andthey gotta say they're gonna climb on down

(59:22):
or they're gonna climb on up.So you are on the hill and they
gotta know what the oh I hearit look is not about to go up
and down? And got then herewe're taking the scene brow I'm not going
up. Oh god, you toomuch at the bunch my whole theory right

(59:46):
there, I was like a unlessyou're Naomi, as I was like,
I don't know, I don't knowabout that. I got about my mind,

(01:00:07):
like like I heard that I'm talkingabout that book, right, everybody
want to know what that book is. Oh, that's the other good book.
I love it. But you know, uh, it's just I I

(01:00:31):
really wanted to to to find everyonehas been laughing then, you know,
it has been a laughing more becauseit was very entertaining. But I wanted
to hear someone with some sense.And I said, I ain't got no
sense, but just someone with youknow, with just a background with mental

(01:00:53):
illness and stuff like that, canjust be able to you know, give
us a different light or a differentyou know, because they've been having a
whole lot of live tiktoks and youknow, everybody's giving their opinion and stuff
like that or what it is.But I just wanted to, you know,
take it a little step from youknow, to see exactly what it
is and everything that you spoke,even about her and she even she even

(01:01:15):
said it, she said, youknow, my self esteem wasn't as high
as I'm on the bigger side,you know, of the spectrum when it
comes to you know, I'm abig woman. You know, I wanted,
you know, my desire was tohave a family, to have this
and so maybe me being you know, you know, out there like this
Thursday, kind of maybe I broughtit onto myself. You know. That's

(01:01:38):
self esteem and self concept though,yeah, right, because self esteem and
self concept. Self esteem is howgood or bad you feel about yourself.
Self concept is do I know whoI am based upon the impact or reactions
of others make because of me.And a lot of times we have,
you know, high self esteem,but have a low self concept. We

(01:01:59):
don't really know the impact we makebased upon how people treat us. And
so when you get someone bread crumbingyou, they're raising yourself concept of who
you think you should be, whatyou think you want in your life,
and they build that up so muchand then when it falls through, it
takes away your self esteem at thesame time. So a lot of times
we battle between those two different things. Right, So that for them,

(01:02:21):
the one who's doing the bread crumbing, what does it give them? What
is that that that that high orthat that get that that they get out
of it? What is it?What are they control? It's it's it's
a sense of well, not onlyis it just manipulation, right, But
what it is is codependency. Right. I need to feel a certain way

(01:02:43):
about myself, and I'm willing todo anything I need to to get the
reaction, not the response, butto get the reaction needed to feel fulfilled.
And so she was willing to bethe reaction he needed to be fulfilled
until it got over. Then shelearn how to respond and that's why she
made that video. Her response wasthe video, right, and being able

(01:03:06):
to be like and have the humilityand the strength and the ability to be
like this is what happened to me. I'm okay with sharing my story and
a lot of people are afraid totell their story so much. And so
he's using the manipulation of being thegood guy mm hmm to get his needs
and to create that codependent cycle.It didn't matter that it was her,

(01:03:28):
It could have been anybody. Heprayed on that right, right, He
prayed and looked for someone that hada profile that he could create a codependent
cycle with. He created that manipulativepattern. It didn't matter that was this
tornado, and didn't matter it justit just got her. Who's next?
Right? Dog? Oh? Yeah? You know something? One thing that

(01:03:55):
is it's really about him, andhe's a liar, but what he does
is to him is better than hisreality. His lives are better than his
reality. And he prays on people, women who he can get over,

(01:04:15):
on who he can do that,and that's his life and I think it's
been his life forever. And wedon't seen this movie before, because that's
what it's a movie. You know, remember Leonardo Leonardo when he paid the
when he was the airline pilot andhe went around like I mean, the
movie one of my favorites, JoeJoe from You on Netflix series. Oh

(01:04:41):
yeah, but we don't seen thisbefore. And it happens in people for
real, So really, you know, some people say, you know,
reality creates that entertainment sometimes that they'reentertainment. You see what's coming because there
are people like that, and he'sa person that all he does is he
lie and try to get over andtell these stories and tell these lies and

(01:05:03):
move on the victim, the victim. And like I said, I never
I didn't watch the video. AllI know is from what Naomi told me.
But even hearing more and more ofthe story and now he's online and
she now you see what it's reallydoing and tell me make him a celebrity.
And one thing you said now isthat people knowing he out there now,

(01:05:24):
I think being out there now isgonna make it worse. You think
it's dangerous. I think it's dangerous. Yeah, because the other people find
out too though. Yeah, yeah, other people just like him. But
you still have you still have womenout there that's looking. When you talked
about the heel, you know,you know, Naomi is the heel,
but the heelers we got on troublebecause you over some type of way.

(01:05:45):
I'm like, okay, I'm thehere, but then I'm like that,
especially you dog Poud like we're kindof sht out because the thing is that
He'll was got in trouble because onthat heel is well tie blew out he
can't and he came up the heeland rest and that's all. He came
on that heel and changed that tire. It was a rap. Yes,

(01:06:10):
he met her, he won,he wanted and she he's my hero because
it wasn't It wasn't cheesecake that thatfirst day, he said, when the
cheese cake that that first day,he could took it to cheesecake factory she
wouldn't care. He would have climbedup. He would have climbed up the
hill climb. But that tire willonce he changed the tire was a rap.

(01:06:30):
You know that, And that thatfirst night, not even hearing the
stories. I didn't hear her story. That first night they probably made love.
And then after that, No,they didn't even you didn't even hear
the story. No, she saidthat they had did anything for a couple
of You cannot say that. Imean, honestly, if I changed it,

(01:06:58):
come on, put that man onwill. I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna. I'm I'm gonna say.Is this I'm gonna say this is that
she can say that she didn't.But I'm telling you, if a man
on the first day one came overto you and change your tire, man
everything okay, it may it maynot have been penetration, but he penetrated

(01:07:23):
something in the mind and the heart. I'll give you that he went from
romantic to intimacy in the matter ofa tire change. To me, it's
romance sex intimacy. That's the process. And I know w is your boy,
that that's your doctor with the wheel, this said, But he's gonna
come to the kennel one day.I did walk by. I didn't walk

(01:07:45):
in. I walked by. Ididn't walk in. Now I'm problem.
I walked by. Didn't want youdon't walk back here something saying, what's
happened in there? I looked.I looked in the window, like,
that's that's where it starts. There'sso many dogs in there. You stop

(01:08:15):
doing that. That's our rumors start. Mm hmmm. I don't even like
that. What did they say?If you hang out in the if you
hang out in the barbershop too longto eventually get your haircut, thank you?
But that that's him though, Sohe did. He moving on to

(01:08:40):
the head the victimy for and he'smoving on. He's telling these lies,
trying to because this excites him.You know what he does excites him.
I can get over on people.I can pass myself drunk. I can
do that, yes, emotionally drunk. Yes. Yeah. So he got
this new video. It's it's avideo up that he as now and he's
saying how you shouldn't google people andfind out who these people are because Google

(01:09:04):
usually is lying about you. Don'tdo that, just take the person a
word m Yeah, yeah, youknow what why because it was so entertained.
It really was. It really wasentertaining it. Yeah, it really,

(01:09:28):
it really was. And but myheart went out to her, it
did one. First of all,I love that she was being courageous enough
to tell her story in the waythat she told it. And she and
the thing is, she made surethat she was respectful and even describing him
like she was being, you know, very descriptive. It made sure she

(01:09:50):
you know, yeah, because she'sa kind person. She is, she
sounds like one. But she needsto take that script over the Netflix herself
to get him set. She needto go tell that. I mean,
but like you said, she's tellingthat story. But if that's what happened
to us, so that's real inher life. Yeah, that's really If
you can benefit for that fight,go right ahead. Yeah, I don't

(01:10:12):
know what's your financially, go righta here, and I guess that's what
That was my next question, especiallyfor both of y'all. You know,
well, I just got your answerfor you. You think that's you know,
that's should that that's okay? Youknow, you hear a lot of
people out there, No, sheshouldn't be doing that, and I know
I spoke my piece for you someonethat is going through something like that and
then able to share their story,you know, in that manner, should

(01:10:35):
she have the opportunity to be ableto monetize off of her story in her
life. The black part of meis how many black lives have been monopolized
and monetized and they were never andtheir stories were always being paid off,
and then people weren't being paid appropriately. Think about all the slave movies that

(01:10:57):
had been made by white directors andthat were never paid anything. You think
about actors that we all know andlove that do not get the fair pay.
So my thing is, if youhave something that you want to offer,
if you have a story that youwant to offer, and you can
create an artistic spend that would allowit to be monetized and in the integrity
of what you're doing, yeah,that's you know, I think. Yeah,

(01:11:19):
I can't say no to somebody,somebody creating their own work and not
getting paid for it. Yeah,yeah, you know. The sad thing
is is she better do it forhe does because the story is about him
too, Because they're all looking forhim right now. They're all looking for
him, right him in the Netflixoffice trying to pitch this whole thing.

(01:11:39):
No, yeah, he lied,but you know something he may be lying.
He probably there this weekend on meon Monday. Yeah, because she's
been on the news. Now,like when I say it caught fire,
it caught fire. She went frommaybe thirty six thousand followers to two point
four million. Found there you go, that's all the numbers you need.

(01:12:03):
Either one to a production company andsay he'll go this story. Yeah,
you know, yes, she gotthe video, she got the documentation.
But we know what he does.And two different versions of the story,
you know, you know now thinkingas a producer, but two different you
know versions of the story. Yeah, you know, like Orange Juice Jones,

(01:12:25):
two different versions. But but thinkabout this, but she could actually
be become a host for a showand bring other people on that have their
own story. And then she canthen because we all know who she is,
she could be a host to keepit moving. Yeah. Yeah,
well the Orange Jones walking in thering in the ring, it was it

(01:12:46):
was a remake for that too,it was it was the woman was another
version. Yeah, no, I'venever heard that one. Interesting, We're
gonna have to look that up on. Oh yeah, we're gonna have to
look that one up because it wasit was really my TG crew, did
you know that? Wh where aremy old my old school booty new booties

(01:13:09):
at just on here always a comebackbink the oldest dude, tell your old
ass, Like Rico said, whatremake right orange juice? John walking in
the brain A rebuttal? What?I don't who Who's you said? Who's

(01:13:30):
saying? Oh? Who is?Like? Like I said, you know,
we got to leave. You can'tlooking up right on? Yeah,
I'm googling. I sure am thisGoogle had been broke by really like yeah,

(01:13:53):
not a remake, a rebuttal,a rebuttal. But then I heard
of this. I've actually heard ofthis before that. But the fact that
you brought it up, but thatyou brought up it was really good.
I'm not gonna lie. You haveboth respectives, you know, yeah,
both respect respect Yeah, and wesee them is down another rabbit hole.

(01:14:19):
You know. The fact your yourface was stone, still your favor and
still you were you were analyzing.It was like I saw the numbers going
across the head. I saw it. I was like, oh you in
there, Oh oh oh it ish mm hmm. Will get over the

(01:14:44):
killer the door, open down thedoor. Let me see. I can't
know that's somebody talking about now Ido. I have to find that I
really have when we get to youwant to go to break or something you
can't Yeah, yeah, take usout. I'm like mc no, I'm

(01:15:05):
this kid. Instagurtty ask ruger gap, I'm about to fam this revoter,
y'all. I'm about to come rightback with it. So we all take
a quick break and then we gocome back, all right, instegurty,
Guys. Hi, I'm doctor WilliamC. Washington, aka doctor will your
friendly neighborhood counselor. One of thebiggest things that I want to tell you

(01:15:28):
about is that I'm a health psychologist, a lots of professional clinical counselor,
supervisor, an NDIMA assistant therapist,a Kennemini and sistant therapist, a psychedelic
integration preps specialist. I'm a researcher, a mentor, a supervisor, and
also an artist. One of thebiggest things about Washington's Institute is that I

(01:15:49):
created this to modernize the way thatwe look into the world. And I
hate to say it, but we'refinally getting rid of the old ways of
thinking. I want to bring inthe Silver Age of psychology and to do
that, I've even created a modelcalled restorative Enhancement modality that focuses on motive
and purpose to mchaling a lifestyle.I want to offer this to you.

(01:16:14):
I'm on office to the world asanyone that's ready to learn. So if
you're ready, sign up today.Be kind to yourself and he'll always Welcome
to the Season of Self Love podcastwith Naomi Banks, where every day is
a chance to embrace self discovery andpersonal growth. Join Naomi on a transformative

(01:16:36):
journey, streaming exclusively on Spotify andBreaker with daily episodes from Monday. Drew
Bridacts podcast is your daily dose ofinspiration, motivation and self love. Dint
deep into engaging conversations about self care, mindfulness and personal development. Nay only
brings you expert insights, practical tips, end uplifting stories from thought leaders in

(01:17:00):
the field. Embark on a journeyof self discovery and unlock the power of
self love. Mark your calendars andtwo him to the Season of Self Love
podcast, available every weekday on spotof Boy and Spreaker. Remember it's time
to prioritize yourself and embrace the beautifulseason of self love. Get inspired and
join Naomi Banks on the Season ofself Love podcast. All right, if

(01:17:26):
you go to god his name Bankshere or act visit podcast. Okay,
yeah, welcome back. I foundit, went to the dog rough rough
Okay, we found it. Andwhen I heard I was like, oh
okay, hmmmm and the funny thingis about Timmy Boy Records and like Queen

(01:17:50):
Latifah, yeah yeah is that okay, m we did it. We'll just
try to get over to the kid. We did it now, Okay,
come on over. Look, I'mjust looking at the window. I'm just

(01:18:14):
looking through the window. That's all. It was, all right, just
it was okay. I'm gonna I'mgonna listen to it after the after the
show, like really really listen toit. Really. Then if I like
it, I'll make a video andsay something about it. If not,
then I'm not gonna say everything aboutit because if I didn't hear it,
because I'm about I listened to Iknow some music that's was very surprising that
I did not day yeah mm hmmm, I mean no, that was not

(01:18:41):
nice. That was not nice atall. That was not nice. That's
that's the low vibration that just cameout of me. You gotta let it
go, You gotta let it go, You gotta let it go, you
gotta let it's time. It's time. That little bit which what do you
have to say? My hands overthere scratching it. And the whole point

(01:19:04):
of it is just, you know, she got to get hers before he
gets in and you know, neplatethe situation because that's the kind of person
that he sounds like. You know, all this is going viral now he's
putting up stuff, So okay,let me see how I can get over
on this situation as well. Yeah, but honestly, I think it's gonna

(01:19:25):
be a payday for them both andI think the other parties that's a part
of the other parties, even thoughshe didn't say their names, I think
all of them are going to havea little bit of payday too, because
it's two ex wives that was involvedin it as well. That play.
She spoke about them a lot,especially the second one. She spoke of

(01:19:46):
them a lot into this scenario.So I'm gonna I'm there. There's probably
be different stories. And then thefake brothers, the you know. So
it's a lot of different characters andyou know series that's in there. But
one thing that I did like that, she said, even when creating that

(01:20:08):
series, she said, for firstof all, for her, it's for
her healing, she said, becauseshe felt like it was holding it in
because of shame and embarrassment, andshe just felt once I released it and
let it go, not only wouldit help me, but it will help
others out there that might have beengoing through the same situation, or even

(01:20:29):
just making them aware or you knowof what it is, or you know,
or just pay attention to those redflags that's there. You know,
That's something that I tell my girlsall the time is that you know,
we see those red flags and forsome reason, we feel like we can
take that red flag and fold itup and put it to the side and

(01:20:49):
be able to change that person forwho we want them to be, and
we just can't. That is whothey are at the time. You understand
what I'm said, and if it'snot aligned with you and who you are,
don't compromise that. You understand whatI'm saying, just don't don't do

(01:21:10):
that. And I know that's hardto say, but then that's where you
have to truly find that love foryourself that you don't need nobody else as
a validation truly, you know whatI mean. Yeah, yeah, Well
you know my belief is that youknow, the more you tell your story,

(01:21:32):
the less you become of it.Yeah, And artistry is one of
the best ways to give yourself thevoice that you lost in your moment of
life. Yeah, you know.And so I'm glad that she found a
creative way to give her trauma alanguage and to give it its own property
to be lessened. Yeah. Ilike that trauma a language. Yeah,

(01:21:54):
I like that. That's that's agood one. That's that's a good one.
My last thing is that it's scarybecause you know, like you said,
they may they probably all will havea payday. But he seems like
the type of person that would neverchange. So if he really has some
money, how much damage can hereally do? Mm hmm. Now you

(01:22:18):
can tell bigger lives, you know, see bigger life, because I don't
think that's gonna change. But see, but that's but that's the strength in
that power of codependency and manipulation.He thrives off of survival. He thrives
off of people trying to They're desperate, trying to find some coclosure. And

(01:22:40):
so once he finds what you needfor closure, he can become that.
And so it'll either make him tooscene or what happens is is that he'll
go into hiding and he'll find outthose who have not seen it right,
and so now he has to findout what has people seen White people haven't
seen. And so now that's justanother way of chameleonizing his mindset. Now

(01:23:03):
he's looking. Now when he's doinghis more predatory work, he just has
to be more crafty about how muchhave you seen, how much of you
haven't seen? Prize element you canget off on that kind of stuff.
Mmm mmmm. He's emotional preva mmhmm exactly with that, with that money

(01:23:26):
in a game, he can hecan pull out more emotions. M hmm.
Yeah. But you know, Charmade, I'm speaking to you because me
and you, you, you andI have been going back and forth.
So let me tell you. Ithink where he got that money from.
And I'm not being funny. Ithink that he's been getting disability checks.
You know, they got those programswhere you work in these different programs,

(01:23:47):
but they still pay you your disabilitycheck with you understand what I'm saying.
So I feel like he's getting amonthly excitement of payment every month as well
as being able to work in thosedifferent programs. So that is how he
is able to get the money.Yeah, think about that. Yeah,
that's why I was. I wasreally thinking, like where that's where you're

(01:24:10):
getting the money from. Mm hmmmmm hmm. But I mean, if
you want it, you always finda way. You know, some people's
drug is is you know, substancesand all that. But some people's drug
are people mmm mm hmmm. It'sa hot commodity. Mm hmmm. All

(01:24:36):
right, y'all. So we're notgonna open up the lines today. We
kind of went over our topic isour time as as always, but we
love it here. Doctor will thankyou for stopping in with us today,
giving us that, giving us someknowledge. You gave me some some words
to even think about. That wasthat was a good one. We we

(01:24:58):
I don't know about you going overthere watching a dog pound because I I
just heard noises. I didn't walkingin I heard I was concerned. Citizen
on Minami's World, walking walking throughthe neighborhood. I'm just counselor I am
suburbs webs. I got the housewith the skinny letters on it. All

(01:25:27):
right, guys, again, thankyou for tuning in here. It was
a great topic. It was wewere able to spend it the way that
we know how to do best.You know, it's all about truly getting
us to understand who we are.And even in this whole story that has
we could always find somebody who wecan relate to you, and we were

(01:25:47):
relatable in every aspect of it.It was a question that I had to
ask as well. But I'll saythat for another time because I'm gonna bak
it down and make it a wholeanother topic. And it has to do
with men. Yeah yeah, ithas to do with me. Yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, it has to do with you all,

(01:26:11):
because what it does is I withthat. And it's so funny because
we talked about this topic before,about the representative. Yeah, and it
just seemed like through that, yousee, you know, I can just
keep going on and on on andI'm gonna stop this because we're gonna come
back to this and this is likefor me, it was like this is

(01:26:31):
a representative on a whole other level. Like it's different levels, you know,
to it with it, all right, all right, so let's do
this, let's break this down.We'll see y'all next week. Guys,
tune into the Season of Self Lovepodcast. It's a great it's a great
podcast. I'm not just saying itbecause I'm on the arrow, doctor Wheeler.

(01:26:51):
I'm just saying because it truly isit really really is. It helps
you to truly get in touch withyourself and find out who you are.
There's our we especially today, today'sshow was really great. It was talking
about fueling fear. But also wetalked about yesterday was mindfulness. Tomorrow,

(01:27:12):
I got a great topic that ofwere talking about is bringing it all together
and having a winning mindset. Wetalk about everything from just loving yourself,
goal setting, just so many differentthings, so many different things. And
we're I'm on Monday through Friday,Monday through Friday at the Season of Self

(01:27:34):
Love podcast, So make sure anddoctor will he's on twice a week with
me, and he's he's given it. He's really giving it. And honestly,
and we don't say this enough.It's something we talked about when you
first came on with us here aboutmental mental illness or just mental health.
And as he said before, hesaid, during this year, we all

(01:27:54):
go through some sort of mental help, you know, and it's something that
you can truly go to him for. He's Washington Wellness Institute, and that
he does online. I hope.I'm not speaking for you, but you
do online, you know, incase you're not there in Ohio with where
he's at as well as you arein I'll hire on your watching this,

(01:28:15):
you know, hit him up,you know. He he does some great
work. He had me on thecouch this morning. I've never been on
a therapist. It's so good.You did so good. It was good.
It was good. Yeah it was. It was it was. It
was really good. It was veryit was yeah, yeah it was.
It helped me to shave the sideof my head. And I'm just kidding,

(01:28:38):
but no, it was. I'mthe reason why you said yeah,
oh no, Now I see onemore person do it. Now I know
what I'm the problem. I'm theproblem. I'm dropping my license after that.
I can't make people be shaving thehead. All right, you got
your last many words? Oh good? Oh good? Okay, uh doctor,

(01:29:01):
w are you having last words?Be kind to yourself and he'll always
there. It is all right,it's your gurt you god, it's not
Banks here, nay vision of Gappodcast. As I always say, be
good to one another, in yourselvesand what always keep it sexy. I
see you next week. Hey isthe goddess Naomi Banks and I hope you

(01:29:21):
enjoyed that last Naomi and if youra like, subscribeation, but as well
as comments, keep it sexy,as Naomi, what we talk about