Mental Health and Wellbeing w/ Dr. Will

Join Nyomi, Dog pound Mike Mike, and Dr. on "Ask Nyomi: Bridging The Gap" :
In this enlightening episode, Nyomi, alongside the insightful Dog pound Mike Mike and our esteemed resident doctor, Dr. Will, delve deep into the crucial topic of "Mental Health and Wellbeing," aiming to break the stigma surrounding these important issues. Through candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and expert insights, they shed light on the importance of mental health awareness, destigmatization, and seeking support. Together, they provide valuable tips, resources, and encouragement for viewers to prioritize their mental wellbeing, seek help when needed, and foster a community of understanding and compassion. Tune in to this empowering discussion as Nyomi and her guests bridge the gap and advocate for mental health positivity and support.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Yeah, bridging the gap. NaomiBanks the goddess. Tune in. Hey
you black where we at elements?Got a problem? What's the issue?

(00:24):
Ask Naomi for advice. She willbless you. Is it sex, love
or relationships? If your spirit sitdown, you can get it daily uplift.
Just listen to every word that shespeaks and trends with hashtags for every
day of the week hashtag motivational,Monday's testimonial Tuesdays. I've been listening in
for the last two days with Willyyour Wisdom Wednesdays. Either way, the

(00:47):
conversation gonna be lengthy. It's nothearsay. This is her way. You
know. She'll keep you thirst trappingon a Thursday, four days down,
I'll talk about the number five daynow because she always keeps it freaking on
Friday, siritual on Saturdays with sessionsin the morning, still uplifting and inspiring
you all in being the goddess thatshe is. She keeps you all in

(01:08):
formed on soul Search and Sundays.Just call in if you miss in forms
can get the facts. Fortunate foryou, she's looking to bridge the gap.
Yes, she was the porn star, but she's more than that,
she's a certified specialist teaching us howto act. By the end of the
show, we'll agree to disagree,but be good to each other and ourselves.
Keep it sexy. Yeah. Tunein every week to asks Naomi Bridging

(01:34):
the Gap with Naomi Banks and dogPond Mike, Mike, don't miss it.
Tune in all right, all right, it's your girl, the Goddess
now Banks here on acts Naomi Bridgingthe Gap podcast or we talk about love,

(01:55):
sex, relationship, culture differences,and so much more by bridging the
gap between the all and teaching theworld on love and sex, language,
attitude, and spiritual lifting. Whatis going on to my BDG crew?
What's going on? Doctor Mike?Mike? All right, but we we
were in a little deep topic today. Are you ready for this? Yeah?

(02:15):
I take some notes. And wehave a very very special guest.
Actually he is going to be apart of our show, our resident therapist,
doctor, medical psychologists and holistic specialists, doctor Williams C Washington, Doctor

(02:38):
will what's going on? I amso happy to be here. I had
a full day and now I'm lato let it all out here. Read
right. I know that's right,I know that's right. Today we're going
to be talking about mental health andwell being. I thought it was to
be a very very great topic tointroduce doctor will In. Like I said

(03:00):
before, he will be joining ushere on a lot of our shows here
to help us to get y'all inorder to cho's worth it right, to
get us in order, but alsoto help break the stigma and the stereotypes
of what mental health is in thewell being, and also help with teaching

(03:23):
us so on how we can helpourselves better. You know, I'm really
big on self care and self love. But also we want to take it
a step further by bringing in somebodywho is a professional and this is what
he does on a daily so hesees everyone from every aspect of the world,
so he'll be better equipped to beable to talk to you all whether

(03:46):
you are man, woman, black, white, purple green, whatever,
that he's able to relate to youin that matter. Right, So this
is what we're gonna do. We'regonna take a quick break and then we're
gonna come back, and we're gonnawe're gonna come back and we're gonna talk
about mental health and well being.And yeah, all right, it's your
gurty Goddess Namby Banks here on theax Lamy Rigid Gap Podcast. We'll be
right back. All right, mysixty people. Are you ready to be

(04:10):
inspired and motivated to create the lifeof your dreams? Then mark your calendars
for February fifteenth at six pm PacificStandard time because x lam in Virgin to
Gap we are back live and withan incredible guest. So get ready to
meet Mo the Goddess, a lifestylecoach, entrepreneur, and the author of

(04:30):
the captivating book Permission to Power.You won't want to miss this captivating conversation
as Mo the Goddess died, seepinto her personal journey, revealing the challenges
she says overcome the lessons she learnedin the breakthroughs that transformed her life.

(04:53):
So mark your calendars for February fifteenthat six pm Pacific Standard time and join
us live for an unforgettable episode ofax Miami Brision to Gap Podcast. Get
ready to be inspired, motivated anddiscover the power within you to create a
life that you deserve. So don'tmiss this opportunity to gain valuable insights from

(05:16):
the Goddess himself. Tune into ActsNinemibrison to Gap podcast live on February fifteenth
as six pm a Pacific standard timeyou definitely don't want to miss. Welcome
to the Season of Self Love podcastwith Naomi Banks, where every day is
a chance to embrace self discovery andpersonal growth. Join Naomi on a transformative

(05:42):
journey, streaming exclusively on Spotify andBraker with daily episodes from Monday, Drew
Friday podcast is your daily dose ofinspiration, motivation and self love. Dive
deep into engaging conversations about self care, mindfulness and personal development. Nay only
brings you expert insights, practical tips, end uplifting stories from thought leaders in

(06:05):
the field. Embark on a journeyof self discovery and unlock the power of
self love. Mark your calendars andtune in to the Season of Self Love
podcast are available every weekday on spotof Body and Speaker. Remember it's time
to prioritize yourself and embrace the beautifulseason of self love. Get inspired and

(06:26):
join Naomi Banks on the Season ofSelf Love podcast. Hey is doctor Will
with the Washington Wants the Institute.Here at the Institute, we focus on
so many different things, but ourbiggest focus is modernizing how we take mental
illness into holistic wellness and making healinga lifestyle. So if you're interested in
taking the next steps, whether it'sa clinician, community member, or something

(06:47):
just a friend, sign up todayfor fifteen minute consultation. You won't regret
it, be kind to yourself,and he'll always all right. But welcome
back Integrity Goddess. Nam Me bringshere on ax Naomi Bridging a Gap podcast
and today we're talking about mental healthand well being again. I want to

(07:11):
welcome doctor Will. How's it going. It's going so good. I'm so
excited to be here full day.I'm ready. Yeah, we had an
amazing show this morning. We hadan amazing show this morning. This morning
he came in and he joined mein a conversation on the season and Stephalove
podcast where we talked about the powerand affirmation and that was a great show.

(07:36):
I mean, we might talk aboutit a little bit today because also
with mental health, it's all aboutAlso it's knowing and understanding your self care
routine for you to be able tomanage it all right, So this is
one of the questions I want thefirst I want to post the question that
I posed earlier today on social mediaand I want you to see if you

(08:01):
can answer this for me, doctorwill. So, the question is what
unique challenges do African Americans face whenit comes to mental health and how can
we address them to ensure equal assetsto care and resources. Mmm, I'll
give you the I'll give you theshort answer. Okay. We need we
need to address the access first.The access is not okay. The education

(08:28):
of mental health is not okay.And the acceptance of mental health is not
okay. And I know we're goingto break that down a lot, but
that that's to keep it quick becausethose three together, the access to the
education and the acceptance has not beentalked about. And it's in our homes.
Yes, you say life starts forthe home, is said, right,

(08:50):
starts at the home. But thehome is not okay right now?
Right? We have to talk aboutthat. Yes, So let me let
me let me ask you this.And it's something that I've been us especially
since COVID, since COVID had happened. You see your arise in depression,
especially amongst younger kids, teenagers inelementary school, and it's so many things

(09:13):
that's been happened from incidents in school. You know, I can't really say
the word, but incidents in schooland just different things for you do you
do you believe that social media hassomething to do with the possibility will mental

(09:35):
health when it comes to children andteenagers and just the word you know what
I mean? Yes, So socialmedia does not has the power to create
positivity connection and it has the powerto also destroy connectivity and connection at the
same time. And when you area child that does not have a found

(10:00):
dation, if you're an adalystient thatdoesn't have a foundation, you become a
product of whatever you find. Thatalgorithm is only going to support whatever you're
looking to. So if I feeldepressive, if I feel sad, feel
sad, and I'm looking for thingsto help me understand my sadness, it's
going to go into well instead ofsad, what about isolated? What about

(10:20):
alone? What about lonely? Whatabout depression? Because, right, depression
is a clinical term, and thedepression, when you break it up,
it means sad, isolated, lonely, sleep, habits, poor appetite,
right, poor grades. Right,So there's a lot of depressive symptoms that's
in the algorithm of social media.Before we even get to depression before you

(10:43):
know it, you're already there,and then you're just following the culture of
what depression does on social media.Yeah, so let me ask you this,
what is your what what would youput us a true meaning of depression?
Because what I did realize is thatactually after the COVID, after the
pandemic happened. Excuse me, Ijust remember going to the doctor's office,
and I remember there was a lineof different questions that was on it that

(11:07):
wasn't there before. And one ofthe questions was is about depression and how
do you feel? Give me aone to five or a one to ten.
So for you and I just heardyou say that, it's you know,
kind of like they put everything ina depression. What what would be
your definition of what depression is?Yes, so the clinical definition is having

(11:30):
these criterias, right, sleep issues, appetite issues, sadness, nervousness,
anger, isolation, right, allthese words that kind of make you separate
yourself from being functional in your naturallife. But to look at it from
a holistic standpoint, depression is theawareness that you no longer feel connected to

(11:54):
the things that made you who youare, and as a result of that,
it's hard to look outside yourself becauseyou're internalizing or you're just feeding yourself
in so much internalize internally that youactually don't know how to speak out or
get out of that situation. Andby the time you're in a depressive state,
you're already cycling. So before Ieven ask if somebody is depressed,

(12:16):
I say, you have depressive likesymptoms. Right, depressive like symptoms means
I see the sadness, I seethe low mood, I see the fatigue,
I see the poor eating habits.I see these things. But when
does it become depression? And alot of times we claim the diagnosis before
we even talk about the symptoms,which is why I always say, treat

(12:37):
the symptoms, not the diagnosis.So we diagnose yourself so fast. So
what would you say? What isthat? So if if just say out
of all of those that you said, you have majority of those, you
know what I'm saying, What willmake it depression? You know what I'm
saying. So I hear what you'resaying on the clinical side of things.
So what will be the answer tosomebody that's going through majority of that?

(13:00):
What is that answer? And Ihate I hate to say like this,
but you technically can't call it depressionuntil you see a professional, right that.
That's how they that's how they claimit. But we've socialized mental health,
so if you're experiencing all those things, but I say depression as an
umbrella term to say, I gota lot of things in me right now,

(13:22):
and I don't want to tell youall of them. I'm just letting
you know it's depression because you canpick which one you want. So it's
a quick way to be like,I got a lot in me, but
I don't want to talk about it, right so we have So it's important
to understand that, you know,when we just say, oh I have
ADHD okay, but like what type? What are your behaviors? What are

(13:43):
these things like? To me?That's a big answer, right, So
it's important to be sensitive about thatbecause sometimes I can just be sad and
I have depression. Like if someonesays, oh, I have depression,
Well you just lost your parents.Yeah that makes sense you, Yeah,
that makes sense, Like that doesntmeans a clinical as you're like you lost
your parents, you're grieving. Yeah, you're sad. That makes sense.

(14:05):
But if you have a great dayand nothing went wrong in the day and
you still feel sad. You gottacheck in with yourself. You gotta check
in with yourself. And how manytimes do we really check in with ourselves
during the day or even people comearound and say, well, check in
with how you doing? I'm good? M okay? Well what does good
mean? Good? At? Whattell me what that means? You know?

(14:26):
That's why if my friends get soannoyed when they when I ask them,
because they're like, oh, you'regonna ask me these questions? Yes,
Because the truth is that when Idon't ask you, you're gonna feel
like no one cares about you,and then you're gonna get lonely. Then
you're gonna feel alone, and thenyou're gonna isolate, and then you're gonna
have depressive symptoms. So yeah,I am gonna check on you. I
am gonna check on you. Andwhen during this pandemic, what do we
do we isolated? Mm hm,we did it to ourselves. We had

(14:52):
self afflicting depressive symptoms. We're justnot learning how to be outside again.
Yeah right, we're just learning howto do that again. I'll say with
fears. Fear was put in therevery much so we were, we were
fear fear monger. It's just justall on us. You know from another
question that I have anxiety. That'sone thing that I have been through anxiety

(15:16):
for a long long time, andI've just now probably the past five or
six years, have been able tomaintain it and understand what it is for
me, you know, for me, for you. And I'm going to
ask this, and I want tomake sure that I'm asking it's right because
as you say, with depression,have I been diagnosed with anxiety? No,

(15:37):
I haven't, but I know whatit is and what it feels like.
So if I would tell yes whatit is, and they will say,
okay, this is this, thissounds like this, but then we
will have to put you on.And I'm not a medication type of person.
You understand, you know for that, you know for that. So

(15:58):
when you say the the the depressionsymptoms and and now I'm gonna and excuse
me, I might put words inyour mouth the anxiety symptoms. How can
you get go into a culture,my black culture and advise them or get

(16:21):
them to say, okay, thisis where we need to figure out a
way to manage that. I mean, I know the answer, but I
want you to be able to tellto where they can be able to manage
that if they're unable to go tothe doctor, because, as you said,

(16:41):
sometimes it's not accessible, and it'sa lot of times that it's not
educated. You're not, we don'ttalk about it. That is so tapool,
you know, it's so tapeboo togo speak to a therapist, you
know, to a psychologist, toanybody like that. So as as people
of color, as African American people, and I got fans all around and
I'm not, I'm not, butI want to make sure that doesn't discriminate.

(17:07):
Yeah, no, because we arethe ones that are you know,
I'm not going there because they mightthink I'm crazy. So for you,
how can we take away that stigma? What can be more pleasing to them
and say all right, look,let's get this together, you know,
come on in, you know now, what what what can we do to

(17:29):
change that narrative, to change andremove that sticks. That's such a beautiful
question. And the thing is isthat we have to first normalize the word.
Normalize the word. Right, Alot of times we don't normalize what
we're going through. So a lotof times we think anxiety, we think
it's a big word. Oh mygosh, I have anxiety. This is
the thing, this is it,this is who I've always been in my

(17:52):
life, this is what I'm goingto be, and I'm going to die
with it. It's like okay.But also there's a good part to anxiety
too. Anxiety keeps you aware,It keeps you focused, It keeps you
attentive. It keeps you worried aboutwhat's your surroundings, and in black culture,
you have to be worried about yoursurroundings, the people that you're around,
the way that you trust your society, the way that you trust your
connections. Anxiety was also a wayto help you get through it too.

(18:17):
So when does it go from beingsomething helpful and supportive to something that is
harmful and self inflicting. It's whenyou feel like you can't manage it anymore.
And how mental health terms are diagnosedin the DSM, the way that
we do criteria is when it becomesa part of our dysfunctional functional life,
right. It goes from when weactually start functioning with the thefunction right,

(18:42):
and so it's important to understand thatyour anxiety isn't bad. First of all,
you stop thinking anxiety is bad.Anxiety is telling us something about ourselves
that we are not capable of dealingwith. Your job is to understand what's
going on with me. Let meslow down and understand what's happening. And

(19:03):
do I understand what I'm going throughbecause an anxiety attack is when you lose
control because you're trying to control somuch what's going on? Right, Let's
talk about this. Let's normalize itand say anxiety is not the problem.
Is something that I know is withme. And so anxiety has also helped
you get through things just as muchas it's also stopped you from things in

(19:23):
your life. Yeah. So whyI'm smiling and laughing because I'm thinking about
a scenario that my anxiety had camewhen I was pregnant with my second baby,
and I was literally on bad restthe whole the time of time,
right, and I knew that Iwas supposed to be in the bed,
but no, I needed to bearound people. So I will go to

(19:44):
my grandmother's. I will drive allthe way from Gary, Indiana to my
grandmother's house and Markham and will hangthere until my oldest baby will get out
of school. You understand what I'msaying. So on my way home,
I'm driving down this dark I willalways have to pull over on the road
because I will feel myself get readyto pass out. Mind you, I
can't see anything, but I canhear my surroundings around me. Yeah,

(20:12):
that I can hear everything around me, and it used to happen quite often.
What I've learned now is that Iwas truly trying to control the situations
that was happening to me at thattime. You understand what I'm saying.
But also instead of me living inthe moment, I was thinking about past

(20:34):
and thinking about future and wasn't beingin the present moment right here. So
I was allowing everything else around meto stress me that I had no control
over that that wasn't even here yet, but I've already created it in my
mind on what it is and whatis going to be. What caused me
to have an anxiety attack because Ihad no control, so that my body

(21:00):
shut down all the way. Ican hear, but I see, you
understand, So it was able.I had like a survival mode that I
knew when I felt a certain way. It's a real trigger. You know,
I'll pull over and that was it. You understand what I'm saying.
Yeah, so what you're talking aboutis a traumatic reaction, and that causes

(21:22):
you to dissociate, right, soyou go from living in the present to
either time traveling in the past orthe future. Trauma has the power of
putting this in the past or puttingit in the future, taking us and
getting it away from the present,and how valuable that is. And a
lot of times anxiety or even justother types of symptoms will actually take you
away right thinking that it's trying tohelp, thinking, it's trying to change,

(21:47):
trying to it's trying its best tocreate that emotional homeostasis, which is
us learning how to regulate. Likeif your baseline is right here, the
anxiety goes, We're bringing it up. We're bringing it up, We're bringing
it up, and it's like,and you have to be able to be
like, no, no, I'mjust having a long day, it's okay.
A lot of us can't trust thatbecause like, no, I don't

(22:07):
trust you. Anxieties like literally,I don't trust you. I'm blending with
you and we're about to take thisout because I don't know what's going to
happen to me? So that selfawareness creates that emotional responsibility that we all
lose sometimes in our traumas. Ourtraumas kind of create the self awareness that
makes us emotionally irresponsible, and anxietyis one of those things, those triggers

(22:30):
that can cause that traumatic reaction.I like that word that you used.
You just use emotionally irresponsible. Mmhmm. It's real emotionally irresponsible. And
I know a lot of times whenyou say that to somebody, they will
you will, you will, itwill trigger them. What do you mean

(22:51):
ir responsible? Like, I don'tif you listen to right now, you
know, emotional irresponsible because you're nothearing what are You're not listening what that
person is saying to you, Soyou're not active listening yes and understanding what
it is. Instead of you listening, you're reacting yes. And how old

(23:12):
are you? And how old areyou? When you feel reacted right?
Like like I'm thirty, I'm thirtyfour years old, but if someone triggers
me, I might turn sixteen yearsold because of the relationship I might have
with them, right and so andso for me, it's like understanding,
Okay, they're making me feel away. Instead, Usually I'll deflect and

(23:33):
be like, no, you wrong, forget that. If that no,
I forget you. But in theback of my mind, they made me
feel like I was fourteen again,where I wasn't powerful, where I wasn't
calm, where I wasn't okay.It's because they remind me of something that
I went through. The action isnever the reason. It's not. What
they're doing to me is what Ifeel like I'm going through in my past.

(23:55):
That was my trauma that that wasreacting and so I have to I
had to emotionally grow up to understandthat, Oh, they're acknowledging something that
I'm currently doing that I had noreason I didn't know understanding of. And
people that heal can understand that timedifference. People that are healing, they
understand the time difference. And thatis so much different in what today's mental

(24:18):
health and illness is and the stigmasand all this. The work that they're
doing now does not think like that. That's why I'm so strong about the
holistic approach, toy. So letme ask you this too. So even
with going with the the holistic approachof it, especially when you have and
everybody the word that you say isoh, I'm good. People don't want

(24:41):
to admit that something is going onwith them. I'm telling you this probably
my percentage on here, probably eightyfive percent of the world believes that this
is just what happens in life.There is nothing going on with me.
I need to just toughen it upand move it and be like that sometimes
is it is? What it is? Right? We have our own cultural

(25:04):
phrases that completely omits emotional responsibility.It be like that sometimes? Does it
really be like that? Sometimes?I don't think so. It doesn't have
to be like that sometimes, right, Yeah, our words are so powerful.
Yes they are? Yeah, yeah, yes they are. You know
for you? How do we andonce again, I don't know if you

(25:26):
answered it or if I even acceptedthe answer. How can we bring the
stigma? Say it's okay not tobe okay, but what is not okay
is not to acknowledge that you're notokay. Does that make sense? Does
that make yes? Yeah, itdoes it makes the problem is that it
makes too much sense, and unfortunately, when people realize that they're not okay,

(25:52):
they don't feel powerful enough to makeit okay, because they're in a
place of helplessness or hopelessness. Youknow. That's what one of the hardest
things when I TECs little black kidsin these schools and I talk about their
problems, it's sad because I'll bewith them for sixty minutes, but they
still got to go home. Yes, the parents don't want the parents or

(26:12):
sometimes the parents won't even bring thekids because the kid might actually be the
change, that might be the cyclebreaker or the generational breaker at the age
of six seven years old and thenbut they don't even know that because their
parents are like, nah, becauseonce the kid knows too much, it's
going to ruin everything that I haven'tfixed myself. And so their parents are

(26:34):
more willing to bring down their generationalcurse than actually break the chain. And
unfortunately, I see kids and theystruggle with that, especially with black girls
with adultification, right, and theyend up realizing that they want to change
and be different. But it's like, but am I gonna But should I
do that? Because I love mymom my mom to love me, So

(26:56):
I'm not going to be a problem. I'm just gonna avoid it and just
kind of hold that. So there'sso much awareness that happens, but we're
emostly irresponsible. So I can answerthat question, fossil. It's hard when
you have that hopelessness and helplessness whenthe access, the education, and the
acceptance are not present, right,So how can we get it out there?

(27:18):
You know? So I know?Let me tell you this. That's
why I did create the Season ofSelf Love podcast because my true believing is
truly your healing within yourself, havean intimate relationship with yourself and self love
with that because it makes you aself awareness of self, acceptance of who
you are, and having all ofyour authentic self bad, good or indifference.

(27:42):
You understand because we have our ownhealing process to be able to show
others on how to treat us.So hopefully that is a fact. You
understand what I'm saying. Yeah,speaking with our mouth, you can see
it within someone. You understand whatI'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(28:06):
And I think if anybody gets yourPurpose pin and Purpose Journal, you
have to ask yourself why am Isurviving? Right now? A lot of
us are not talking about why weare surviving. You realize we're surviving,
but don't talk about why, whichis why I love psychology so much.
It's understanding the value of your why, and it's understanding that when you learn

(28:32):
why you are surviving, you're goingto start asking how you're going to live.
Yeah, I can't ask you tolive until you understand the why you
survive. And a lot of timeswe don't feel like in mental health we
have the power to make change untilwe're giving a safe space to try.
Black lives do not get a chanceto try. Black women do not get
a chance to try. Black transfer. They do not get to try.

(28:57):
It's either all or nothing. Thatit's a cognitive distortion. That's one of
the ten cognitive distortions of anxiety.All or nothing. Either you are everything
or you're not. The middle groundis not acceptable. So if you don't
do that, you're not. We'reworth nothing. Hard to wake up and
live that way and think that you'regonna be okay. So you can't ask

(29:18):
me how I'm doing because I can'tgive you that middle ground. What I'm
doing all good or I'm letting youknow it's gonna be all bad. Right,
all right, So this we're goingto go and take a quick break
and then we're gonna come back andif we're gonna talk some morning. I
got some more questions for you.All right, it's your Gurtty got his
number Banks on ax LAMB. Wevisually got podcasts and we'll be right back.

(29:40):
Hey is doctor Will with the WashingtonWants the Institute. Here at the
Institute, we focus on so manydifferent things, but our biggest focus is
modernizing how we take mental illness intoholistic wellness and making healing a lifestyle.
So if you're interested in taking thenext steps, whether it's a clinician,
community member, or something just afriend, add up today for fifteen minute

(30:00):
consultation. You won't regret it.Be kind to yourself, and he'll always
Welcome to the Season of Self LovePodcast with Naomi Banks, where every day
is a chance to embrace self discoveryand personal growth. Join Naomi on a

(30:21):
transformative journey, streaming exclusively on Spotifyand Breaker with daily episodes from Monday.
Drew Friday Podcast is your daily doseof inspiration, motivation and self love.
Dive deep into engaging conversations about selfcare, mindfulness, and personal development.
Nay only brings you expert insights,practical tips, end uplifting stories from thought

(30:44):
leaders in the field, embark ona journey of self discovery and unlock the
power of self love. Mark yourcalendars and tune in to the Season of
Self Love podcast, available every weekdayon Spotify and Speaker. Remember it's time
to prioritize yourself and embrace the beautifulseason of self love. Get inspired and
join Naomi Benks on the Season ofSelf Love podcast. All Right, my

(31:10):
sixty people. Are you ready tobe inspired and motivated to create the life
of your dreams? Then mark yourcalendars for February fifteenth at six pm Pacific
Standard time, because asks myam revisiona gap. We are back to live
and with an incredible guest, Soget ready to meet Mo the Goddess,
a lifestyle coach, entrepreneur, andthe author of the captivating book Permission to

(31:34):
Power. You won't want to missthis captivating conversation as Mo the Goddess dives
deep into her personal journey, revealingthe challenges she says overcome the lessons she
learned in the breakthroughs that transformed herlife. So mark your calendars for February

(31:56):
fifteenth at six pm Pacific Standard timeand join us live for an unforgettable episode
of X Namibrision to Gap podcast.Get ready to be inspired, motivated and
discover the power within you to createthe life that you deserve. So don't
miss this opportunity to gain valuable insightsfrom most the Goddess herself. Tune into

(32:21):
X nine Rebridging the Gap Podcast liveon February fifteenth at six pm Pacific Standard
time. You definitely don't want tomiss. All right, Well, welcome
back. It's your gurty goddessnight.You being Seid on AXS Night only,
Bridging the Gap Podcast. This iswhat we talk about love, sex,

(32:43):
relationship and culture difference systems so muchmore right, bridging the gap between them
all and teaching the world on sex, language, attitude and spiritual uplifting.
And today we have our resident therapisthere for the first time, Doctor Will.
What's going on. It's such apleasure to see everybody, and such
a pleasure to see all these greatcomments coming in. All right, and

(33:05):
we got dog Pound Mike, Mike. We got dog Pound Mike mic over
there. He looked quiet over there. He looked quiet over there. But
he's over Miss b Yes, aswell as I see the BTG crew.
Hey, Hey, everybody, Hey, hey, everybody, just seeing a
commercial and I'm excited about this guestthat's coming in in two coming in in

(33:30):
two weeks, and her story isamazing. I actually went and picked up
her book right here. Can yousee right here? The Permission to Power?
And it's amazing. This beautiful younglady had picked up her stuff and
had moved to baldy. Yes,Yes for her, she gave herself permission
and have power to be courageous andlive her life for whatever form that it

(33:53):
is. And I just cannot waitto share that with you all this month.
I mean, we got a lotof great guests coming up here,
but I just wanted to make surethat I told you about that so you
guys can know. Because one thingis I do is I love. I
love. I love my people.I love my beautiful people, and I
love to hear their stories because youjust don't know who you can inspire encourage

(34:19):
to get their stuff together. AndI don't want to say it like that,
but I did just say it that, like I sound like somebody auntie
or Grandmam gonna say, get y'allstep together, y'all. But y'all know
what I love it. Yeah,y'all know what I mean, but today
we're talking about mental health and wellbeing, and before the break we had
really a great conversation about it,dealing with anxiety and all that other stuff.

(34:39):
But one thing, one question thatI do have for you is what
steps can be taken to increase accessto mental health services and resources with African
American communities, particularly for teenagers whomay face barriers such as cost or stigma.
Yes, Unfortunately, when it comesto the children adults, it's going

(35:00):
to be up to the parents.So, parents, I'm talking to you.
Those children cannot see health specialists unlessyou sign it over, unless you
give them the rights to go seea therapist, which also means if you
want your child to heal, youhave to go to therapy first. Because

(35:22):
the truth is is that your childis going to be the result or whatever
you are doing to yourself or whatyou are not doing to yourself. And
so you can't say, oh,they a bad kid, they doing all
this and the other. I'm Michael, what are you doing? Well,
I'm working, I pay my bills. I'm like, but are you getting
help? Are you okay? Well, you know, I got a lot

(35:43):
going on. I can't really bedealing with that well, how can you
expect them to deal with anything?They're watching you not deal with anything.
They're watching you just exist. They'rewatching you survive, like, well anything
about me. I brought my kidsin. You have to understand that if
your child's going to go to this, you must go through a first.
You are the example of healing.And when parents realize that they are the

(36:04):
example of healing for their children,it changes the way that they see who
their children really are. It's notjust that little kid that don't listen.
It's oh, they're a product ofwhatever I'm not doing for myself right.
And so a lot of times whenblack mothers come in, they'll give me
their kid and be like, fixmy son. And I'm like, ma'am,
you've had them for fifteen years.I had them for sixty two minutes.

(36:27):
Please give me at least give megive me three hours to figure out
what's going on. And the biggestthing I find out is that it's realizing
that parents are so so they're sofocused on being a good mom or being
a good dad that they forget tobe a good person. And it's so
heartbreaking because they forget what it meantto be a good person for themselves.

(36:52):
They forgot what it meant to lovethemselves because they're so worried about being a
good parent, they forgot how goodthe identity of who they are. Yes,
yes, I'm not just Dad,I'm also William. Do your kids
know that you have a name?You're not just dad or not just mom?
Do you have a name? Andso when they learn the story of
mom, learn the story of Naomi, it's a different relationship. And a

(37:15):
lot of times kids don't get thatexperience until they have to get too old
and it's too late, or theyhave to learn again like, well,
who is this person? I don'tunderstand this dynamic. So I encourage if
you want your child to go gethelp and services, you get it first
and you understand what changes are happeningin you and realize is it really your
child's issue or is it what you'vebeen going through and you just couldn't deal

(37:37):
with it? Yeah? Yeah,change it the narrative here, all right.
You know, it's we talked aboutWe spoke about that a little bit
earlier today, about the foundation thateverything starts in the home, You know
what I mean, everything starting athome. And then the problem is is
that majority of the world are broken. So they are broken relationship ships that's

(38:00):
been built on broken foundation. That'swhat we are. We have a broken
foundation. So it's like, howcan we go to be able to mend
or heal those cracks that's in thesefoundations in each one of these households.
We can go as much as daythat you know, we have all of
these different podcasts that we have theBattle of the Sexes. You understand what
I'm saying. Where there is ablame that's put on the men, there's

(38:22):
blame that's put on the women.You know, there's such How can we
come together as a community a whole. And I'm just not talking about black
I'm talking about all of us asa race. How can we come together
and realize that, all right,we need some healing. Do we bring
a self care or self love programinto elementary schools, into junior high schools

(38:45):
and high schools. You understand whatI'm saying to where it comes to the
ground level. And even though thosethose students are in there for a short
period of time, and you evenspoke of it earlier about sometimes parents can
learn from there from their child upyou know, on that situation or better

(39:05):
yet, and I'm not being funny, those that get public aid and situations
like that, maybe there needs tobe a program to where there is a
self love and a self care typeof thing, to where there is a
mental health healing in there, becausebeing on public aid could be very defermential
to somebody's self esteem to that's worth, you understand. And then from that

(39:25):
that feels into your children. Soit happened, you know what I'm saying.
So we need to find to wearin government that it needs to change
with that to bring it into isa part of education. Even though this
right here to our and is ourcore, but we still need to educate.
We still need to understand what itis because right here this is a

(39:49):
powerful thing. The mind is aspower folk thing it is. And I
and JDM Joe saying that you know, you know better than seeing a doctum
besides feel good pills, And thething is is that when when, even
when the kids take pills, they'renot changing the behavior. Right, So
you're giving them this ADHD medication,that's great, but they still are behind.

(40:13):
They're still behaving in a way.You're doing these pills, but you're
not changing the behavior. You're doingthese pills, but you're not helping the
family. You're getting these pills,but you're not changing their relationships at home.
They're they're just they're just they're justfunctioning, right, They're they're idling.
They're idling, right, They're justidling until they don't get the next
fix. And so it's so importantto understand that there's a sensitivity and time

(40:35):
that this government is not allowing.They're not allowing the space right. And
you think about it, even duringthe pandemic, we didn't get space.
Everything just turned right back on.We're all going back to work. People
are saying, oh, they don'twant to work anymore. It's not that
people don't want to work, it'sthe fact that they can't live off the
wage that they're doing. People aresaying no to jobs because they realize that
they can't live. So they're betteroff not working because they can't afford to

(41:00):
They can't they can't afford to work. And at the thought of that process
work and think about that I haveto not work because I can't afford it.
The thing about that does to themind, right, and and and
and that's and it's such a that'ssuch a heart wrenching mindset because there is
a psychological warfare going on, andso there is literally this space where we

(41:22):
cannot exist as functional human beings.I always tell people, is your human
showing? Make sure you're human showstoday because a lot of times, a
lot of us have to remove thehumanity of ourselves to make sure we can
get through the day. It's notokay now for you. Now, for
you. You you now have broughtin holistic healing into your program of what

(41:47):
you do on healing. So pleaseexplain to our listeners what exactly is that
and how can it help with mentalwell being and mental health. Yes,
so my focus is transforming mental illnessinto holistic wellness, and to do that,
you have to expand the way youlook at yourself. A lot of

(42:07):
us say, here, I am, this is my problem, this is
what I'm dealing with. I needhelp. It's not enough. You're so
much more than that, right.I wish it was one plus one equals
too. I wish it was.I wouldn't have a job if that was
the case. We have to expandthe way that we look at ourselves.
So when I think about how youare, how you feel write this down

(42:29):
purpose pen Purpose Journal. There's eightdifferent ways that I look at you when
you talk to me, I thinkabout your physical health. I think about
your emotional health. I think aboutyour social or relational health. I think
about your family health. I thinkabout your financial or occupational health. I
think about your environmental health. Ithink about your educational health. And lastly,

(42:53):
I think about your spiritual health.So when you talk to me about
depression, I think, but howdoes your depression affect your physical health?
How's it affect your emotional health,how's affect your relationship health, how's affect
your family health, How's it affectyour educational health? How does it affect
your environmental health? How does itaffect your spiritual health? I think about

(43:13):
you in eight different ways because thetruth is is that healing is a lifestyle,
and trauma takes you away from makinghealing as a lifestyle. I think
of stress as a wellness currency.So think of stress as a wellness currency,
not a problem, but a wellnessWhen you feel stressed, it means
you're being taken away from your healing. What are you doing? This stress

(43:37):
is taking away from your healing?What are you stressed about? How is
it affecting you one of those healthmodalities I call them health modalities, and
you start recognizing like, oh,it's just a financial issue. Oh it's
just a relationship issue. Oh it'sthat. But the others five or the
other six, they're okay. Iknow, I know football players. I
have NFL football players coming in.I have Grammy Award winning artists come in

(44:00):
and they come to me and theytalk about their anxiety and their depression.
And I'm like, you're successful,Like you're making great money, Like what's
not They're like, I listened totheir story, and I realize that they're
dealing with family health, They're dealingwith emotional health. Their physical health is
great, but then their spiritual healthis low. Right, So we have

(44:23):
to focus on those three things.So now they realize that what they're dealing
with is more than just sadness ordepression or anxiety. They're dealing with these
spaces in their life that don't feelfulfilled. And so the more you tell
your story, the less you becomeof it. And so your depression has
a story, your anxiety has astory. Do you know that story?

(44:45):
And when you understand the why andwhat happened in your story. It actually
normalizes your mental health. It makesit capable, you reframe it to something
where you can write your own narrativerather than allowing trauma to control that.
So I'm expanding the way that wesee ourselves and the way we accept ourselves.
And that's how we're going to beatthe stigma that you were talking about.

(45:07):
Okay, all right, so youknow, so tell them where can
they If anybody wants to have yourservices, where can they see? They
can see you here, of course, but where else can I be?
I I was like here, I'mhere, I'm not leaving. I'm staying
here. I'm staying here. Ilike you here. It's warm here.

(45:27):
If they want to see me,they can go to Washington Wellness Institute dot
org and you can sign up fora free fifteen minute consultation. I'm telling
you we can talk about a lotin fifteen minutes, and then if you
want, you can sign up fora session with me. We can learn
my new health modality. And thebeautiful thing is I don't give homework.
I give quests, because when yougive homework, it means there's deadlines,

(45:49):
there's grade you don't get it.You don't get You don't get a grade
for therapy, right, so Igive you quests. So I'm gonna give
you a quests, which means youcan go on a journey to actually go
do these things. You can comeback five rear to answer the same question.
So the questions I give you arefor your healing journey, not for
what you're here for, so youcan grow into your question. I want
people to grow into their own questions, into their own reflections. So come

(46:10):
on, talk to me fifteen minutes, free man. Let me tell you
something. You just confirming everything everything. I'm here for you. I'm here
for you, I got you,I got you, thanks for me.
So let me tell ya something becausey'all know, I've been living my life
out loud, especially these past tenyears, and I've been showing it all

(46:30):
unapologetically, and I am so happythat I have been courageous enough to do
that and be that. So I'mable to not be in front of you
with my mask on like right now, even though y'all see me with contexts
on my because I need them tosee but alashes on or whatever like that.
But I don't have my mask nickednessthat you would ever see. So

(46:55):
you all saw me wrong naked.Now forget what you're seeing in the films
and the movies. Right here.This is the best part for me.
This is the most seriest part ever. When you can see somebody authentic,
real and raw and understanding that it'sokay to go through a healing. That

(47:15):
it's not that you are blessed inor that you have a problem or a
situation or whatever. No, what'sthe most amazing thing is when you can
acknowledge and say, you know what, I'm not okay, I'm not good.
What's the word last week? Fine? Fine? That's not fine?
Nice? Yeah? Nice? Yeah? Nice that I'm not nice. I'm

(47:38):
not fine. Y'all understand. Sothere are so many different programs and things
out there for you, and alot of them is free. Either podcast
and I'm about to do me apost go to season and stuff love podcasts.
I'm there Monday through Friday, Mondaythrough Friday where we do a lot
of different things and different exercises.Is that he said, get your pers

(48:00):
purpose pin in your purpose paper andwrite it down like literally, we're going
to class. I'm taking folks toclass. When I ask them to join
me in on this because he justwanted to come do ask Naomia first,
I said, my brother, yougot to come on over here. On
the other side, I was like, you got more. I'm like,
you gonna stop. This is great, But we do. We get in

(48:21):
and we we there's no rocks someturn. I mean, we go in
and we break everything down. Lastmonth we did about setting intentions, and
when I say we were setting intentions, we were. Every day it was
something different, but we still saidthe same things because we have to keep
repeating things to ourselves over and overagain, so things can be repetitive.

(48:43):
So we can get into and createa mindset that is positive, a mindset
that looks at things from a differentperspective, a mind thing that looks at
if anything is negative, to beable to overcome those setbacks and move through
them. You understand, these area lot of practices too that helps with

(49:04):
mental wellness and well being. ButI'm gonna let the doctor speak a little
bit more. I was like,I'm like, I can go anywhere with
this. And I think the biggestthing is that I want all your viewers
to understand that we have purpose ineverything, and a lot of us are
living in motive. Motive is aboutself gratification. Instant gratification. You know,

(49:30):
if I do this, this happens. If I do this, this
happens. You know. But whenyou live in purpose, you're not worried
about everything around you. So sowhen you're around this podcast and we're chatting,
we're talking to you about this purpose. Well, when this river is
flowing, you become the rock andyou allow these things to pass you and
go through a setback is great becausethen you get perspective. We talk about

(49:52):
high energy and low energy. Highenergy is meant to you for you to
experience. You get that high we'resupposed to experience that high me have low
energy. It's not bad energy.What that is telling you is that you
need to slow down and give perspective. Low energy means you have perspective.
And so when you have those depressivemoments and suppressive thoughts and you're sitting in
bed, or you feel unmotivated andyou can't take a shower, okay,

(50:14):
but understand that when you don't takethat shower, when you don't get out
of bed, when you stop eatingthe way, you should ask yourself,
why not I can't believe it.Don't shame yourself, don't punish yourself.
You're already doing that. It's timeto understand, well, why do I
not want to take a shower?Why don't I want to take care of
myself? Why don't I Why amI not reaching out right? Because the

(50:37):
truth is is that a lot ofdepression and trauma, it takes us away
from emotional responsibility because it's trying toteach us something about ourselves. You're depressed
because you're not doing something for yourself. And so we call that a growing
pain right where you understand that you'regrowing, but you also understand that discomfort.

(50:59):
And I tell my clients all thetime sometimes you have to step outside
of your comfort zone to bring somethingback m hm and you and it's okay,
and it's okay to come back.People think, oh, I gotta
heal, like I keep pushing forward. I got to heal and be possible.
You can burn out from healing,yes, So take breaks and your
healing. Take breaks in your healing, because I'm telling you get brown.

(51:19):
You'll be like like healing is uglybecause you actually get mad and trying to
be so hard on trying to healso much it doesn't work when you first
start working out, you don't workout every single day, Start stretching,
take a break. You have recovery, and we don't understand that there's recovery
and healing. Yes, so giveyourself the chance to pace yourself, pace

(51:39):
yourself. And the last thing I'llsay is that you know when when in
doubt, sit as it, slowdown, internalize or interview, talk it
out. Slow down, internalize,interview yourself, talk it out. And

(52:00):
you mean talk it out, Imean pray it out, meditate it out,
live out loud, live it loud, it out right, all of
that because I think a lot oftimes we don't like to sit. So
slow down. You have to stop. You have to stop because people like
think, O if I stop,I won't win. No, no,
no, I say stop. Isaid to slow down. M hm.

(52:20):
Pause, ask yourself what you're doing, because the truth is that even when
you break an arm, if youdon't set the arm right, it doesn't
grow right. Right. Set yourheart right so you can love right.
I like heart right, so youcan love right. I like that.
I'm taking that one too. That'syours, that's yours, that's you.

(52:40):
You make that a t shirt.That's your T shirt that you got it
all right, so I know weI want I want to open thether lines.
Can we open the line or atleast put a you know, if
anyone have any questions out there andyou want to you know, be able
to ask doctor Will or MYTF anyquestions. We're gonna put the link out

(53:00):
right now so you can ask itagain. We're talking about mental health and
wellness if you just join us fromwhatever uh streaming platform that you watch.
And it's been an amazing at leastI like some of my best shows that
I love to do a really becauseI love for people to to find out
how can I heal? You knowwhat I'm saying? What can I feel

(53:24):
myself? How can I be getfree? You know what I'm saying.
And I know what I feel like. And it's like a really a spiritual
high. And when I'm telling youI'll be high, I don't be have
all those drugs. I'll be highjust on life and understand what it is
healing. Yeah. Yeah. AndI just think once you do that,

(53:47):
once you you just open to beable to do you know, to everyone
else, and then it's a dominno offense so it's a part of us
serving one another and healing one another. You unders that what I'm saying,
healing is contagious. I'm telling you. We talk about that. People always
say when I watch someone else's trauma, I get traumatized. I'm like,
if you watch someone's healing, alsostart to want to heal too. So

(54:10):
you trust me, if you canwatch somebody in their healing, it's gonna
make you in heal too. Soeven though the viewers there watching right now,
you're being a witness your secondary healing. You're you're you're you're learning our
language, which is coming a partof your language, and that that's linguage.
Self love is real. Yeah,it's contagious. It is. It

(54:31):
is. We're gonna do. Wetake a quick break and we're gonna come
back, and then we're gonna finishoff this again. We're gonna take some
cause right over there, yep,all right up already, and we'll come
back from them. All right,good good Our integrity guy's Na Banks on
an originally podcast we will be right. Hi. I'm doctor William C.

(54:52):
Washington a k A. Doctor willyour friendly neighborhood counselor one of the biggest
things that I want to tell youabout is that I'm a health psychologist,
a licensed professional clinical counselor supervisor,an NBAMA assistant therapist, a KEDEMI assistant
therapist, a psychedelic integration prep specialist. I'm a researcher, a mentor,

(55:13):
a supervisor, and also an artist. One of the biggest things about Washington's
Institute is that I created this tomodernize the way that we look into the
world. And I hate to sayit, but we're finally getting rid of
the old ways of thinking. Iwant to bring in the silver Age of
psychology and to do that, I'veeven created a model called restorative Enhancement modality

(55:37):
that focuses on motive and purpose tomake healing a lifestyle. I want to
offer this to you. I'm anoffer this to the world and to anyone
that's ready to learn. So ifyou're ready, sign up today, be
kind to yourself, and He'll alwaysWelcome to the Season of Self Love podcast

(56:01):
with Naomi Banks, where every dayis a chance to embrace self discovery and
personal growth. Join Naomi on atransformative journey streaming exclusively on Spotify and Breaker
with daily episodes from Monday through Friday. Podcast is your daily dose of inspiration,
motivation, and self love. Divedeep into engaging conversations about self care,

(56:24):
mindfulness and personal development. Nay onlybrings you expert insights, practical tips,
end uplifting stories from thought leaders inthe field. Embark on a journey
of self discovery and unlock the powerof self love. Mark your calendars and
two hint to the Season of SelfLove podcast, available every weekday on Spotify

(56:45):
and Speaker. Remember it's time toprioritize yourself and embrace the beautiful season of
self love. Get inspired and joinNaomi Banks on the Season of Self Love
podcast. People get your goody Godis now Banks and I finally hit it.
I've written my first book. Wellactually it's a living journalist called Good

(57:07):
Morning My six People. Well,I share my stories in different posts,
but help a healing work for you. So it's ninety days to kick off
your healing living pre purchase now goto ax Naomi dot com in his shop.

(57:28):
All Right, Dischagurty got us andBanks here on as Naomi Bridging the
Gap podcast. I am here withdoctor Will. What's going on? Baby?
It's all goods, It's so greatit's so grand. That's what I'm
talking about. In Dog Pound,Mike might he been so quiet today?
Is going on? You're getting deepover there in your mentor you know some

(57:51):
uh. I guess one thing youguys are talking about, you know,
and I know, especially in theblack society, black community. You know,
I'm a little up in a andthe thing is is instead of talking
about mental health, when I grewup, it was all just about being
crazy. People was crazy, andthey put that sigm stigma on being crazy,
where if you're crazy, it ain'tno help, it ain't no way

(58:13):
to get around. That's just justwhat you are. So it hasn't been,
you know, in my time,it hasn't been. I rarely heard
anything about mental health when I wasgrowing up. You know, it was
a crazy this person got a problem. And I guess one of the things
that even as you got talked aboutthat in this society and in this in

(58:36):
this country living that never was afoundation, especially for black people. We
was never building on a foundation wherewe can think about healing, happening and
depressing. The way wasn't really away of life, you know. And
I guess that's even years later,hundreds of years later, we're still trying

(58:57):
to build that foundation and build upso you can talk about these things and
heal and know exactly what's going on. So that that is you know,
and I heard you get we talkabout the kids, we do. We
talk about the kids a lot andchanging it for them, you know.
And it has to start with us, to start with the with the parents
and the older people in the communitytoo, just to realize what we went

(59:20):
through and that we're still healing andhappiness as we get older as well.
Right, So you think we're we'reconstantly in the survival mode. So we
have not gotten out of that survivalmode at all. So it's kind of
hard to get out that survival modebecause that's all we survived created that.

(59:42):
Yes, yes, and and Ihate to say like this, but I've
I've had to have hard talks withwith with older people. And I said
you have to before, I said, before I even talk to you,
I need to know if you're anold person or you an elder mm hmmm,
because the conversation is going to bevery different when you're an old person.
I don't have hopeing the change thatyou have if you're an elder.

(01:00:05):
That means you're willing to reach backfor us, because I believe our elders
are truly the answer to a lotof this. I need to know that
there's a lot of old people thatdon't want to be elders because they're afraid
of what the responsibility might be,because they may have caused a lot of
damage themselves for sure. Mm hmm. You know. And I think it
was called they called that not evenknowing. Yeah, yes, right,

(01:00:34):
Yeah, I'm so glad you saidthat, Mike, Yeah you said that.
Yeah, that's the big thing.You don't know no better now that
you do know better, And that'swhat I go by. Now that I
know better, I do better.And when I'm saying I'm talking to everyone
that wants to hear that you knowbetter. But one of the things,

(01:00:57):
and I know what doctor Will saidabout old people, they know that too.
I know better, I'll do better, But you come back, I'm
just too damned. Oh I'm tooold. Instead in my way, I'm
in my way. Yeah, itwas like my way. That that one
gets me, that that one,that one gets me, that one gets
me because I'm like I'm like,I'm like, well that's the case,

(01:01:21):
I'm like, well, can youcan you move because we can have it's
hard out here, like we needpeople to move out and he need you
to move. We need new communities, like oh no, I'm still doing
I'm like, but it can help. You are possible, And it's scary.
It's scary to add to to saythat you can help something when you
know that you've been a part ofthe destruction of something right or you like

(01:01:42):
you didn't do it. Fear.I think it's all rooted fear. Fear's
different. Every fear is different,every every Black generation has its own different
fear. I literally did the wholething about this about how fear changed in
each Black generation. It's crazy howit developed in our society, in black
culture. It's it's it's it's fascinating. Yeah, It's like it shows up

(01:02:06):
in so many different ways. It'slike it's camouflage. It's just like a
chamillion, Like seriously, like achameleon incomes in every you know, fear
is procrastination, you know what I'msaying. Fears comes from yourself out limited,
you know everything, fears anxiety,yes, yes, yes, you
know, And a lot of timewe use that word fear. And a

(01:02:29):
lot of people think when you fearsomething, you're scared of it. But
it's a lot of older I know, maybe even myself, we live in
fear, but we ain't scared enoughexactly, you know, because just the
way it's just say that one moretime, we ain't scared enough mm.

(01:02:50):
And then that's where we don't evenknow what to be scared. We're trying
to live. We're trying to liveexactly, and and and when you think
about it, and you look atthe mental health, but you know,
men and women, the older parents, they trying to live. We try
to take care of our kids.We try to change the way they come
up from the way we came up. We're trying to teach them about finance,

(01:03:14):
teach about how to teach them andteach them. We still put them
in that fear of stereotype, youknow. But yes, it's the way
we we see growth in them aswell, you know, And think about
think about the I always say blackfolks always have that. We always have
the talk and we have the othertalk where it's like, you know,

(01:03:37):
you have the sex talk, thenyou have to talk about, hey,
you're black. This is what thismeans. I was like, I just
wanted to play basketball. I was, I just wanted to I'm in band.
I don't even know what, like, like, what does this talk
about? Not got to think aboutme being black? But you talk it
to me in a way of fear. You didn't teach it to me in
a way of pride, of acceptance, of love, of community, of

(01:04:00):
fonsibility. You turn it into away to protect myself and create defense.
But it didn't even realize that youactually instilled fear into me. And I
had to manifest that in my ownway and figure myself through that. Hm.
Right, it's that weird talk thatwe don't talk about, right,
right, So I got I gottafor you and I had it and I

(01:04:20):
lost it. Let me see whereis it? Where are you? Where
are you? Where are you?Okay? Did I say that already?
How can we empower African American teenagersto develop healthy coping mechanism and self care
practices amidst the pressure of social media? Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a

(01:04:44):
new one. So I'll keep itshort. The biggest way to do that
is to you know, actually leaninto social media, so we will say
get away from it. So Iwant you, I want I want my
adolescens to do right. I wantyou to create different pro files. Create
a profile that talks about positivity.Create a profile that's for your sadness,

(01:05:04):
create a profile that's your professional one, create a profile for your entrepreneur one.
So create different profiles so that whenyou are choosing, well, I
can only be twenty minutes on thepositive one, maybe twenty minutes on the
work one, and I'm feeling alittle sad. Let me go into the
sad one real quick and actually createthose things. I can't tell these teenagers

(01:05:24):
to stop doing what's normal to them. They've been swiping since their kids nowadays,
so then they're babies, right,So it's important for them to take
the advantage to take control of howthey are going to be fed information.
I can't tell you what to lookat the moment you have a cell phone.
In my more, you give achild a cell phone, you have
to accept that they're going to bean adult. I have to tell parents

(01:05:45):
that the moment you give the childa cell phone, give them every talk
that they need to have. Ohbut they I'm like, they have access.
They're gonna type whatever out and theycan't. They can't type it.
They're gonna they're gonna voice chat it. So it's too late. You've already
You've already tell them to be anadult. When the moment you gave them
a cell phone, the parental controlsmean nothing. You have to teach them

(01:06:08):
everything now, and so putting thatback on the parents. But also teach
them have an account for all thesethings, because there's a thing called an
algorithm that will feed into whatever you'recurious about. It does that for you.
So making them aware and educating themon proper healthy usage of social media.
Teach them to use it as atool, not as a void.

(01:06:29):
Use social media as a tool,not a void. Right. And so
when they start learning that, ittakes away the shame and the guilt that
a lot of kids have to hidetheir stuff or hide their messages and delete
their messages and think like they're notgoing to be like no, keep it
open. Understand that it's a possibility, go with the flow of the change
of life. But teach them tobe on top of it. You don't

(01:06:50):
teach that part. We try tohide and protect and all these things,
but what we're instilling is deception andshame and guilt, right right, you
know what I mean. It's ontopic, but it's a little bit off
topical. So lately I've been watchingthis TikTok, this TikTok trend that's been
going on that parents or teachers orwhatever been allowing the children when they are

(01:07:14):
cursing, to go into the bathroomand look into the mirror and say all
the curse words. So you sayall of your curse words in the bathroom,
but once you come out, youcan't say the customers. You can
only say the cuss words in thebathroom. So I was like, what
is this what I was looking at? Even tell me if I'm up if
like, no, that ain't innami. What I'm thinking is that I'm
gonna still allow you to express yourvoice, but go into the bathroom and

(01:07:39):
express it then, and when youcome out to the public, be respectful.
You know of what it is,but you know, go have your
moment in the bathroom and not haveit on the outside instead of shutting you
down allowing you to have your voiceor not. What do you think about
that? I don't like that personally, I don't like that that that's very

(01:08:04):
fake to me. M that's veryfake to me. If you're going to
say what you're going to say,then you need to say it. And
and if I'm the adult or aparent in that situation, I need to
understand that I taught this child enoughvocabulary or they learned enough vocabulary to say
these things. And they need tobe able to say to the first person
that they've actually come from, whichis me. So if that child cannot

(01:08:27):
say that to me and I can'taccept what they're going to say, then
that means that there is an imbalancein the parent child's relationship dynamic. And
you go into the bathroom does nottake away the value and the meaning of
the words, right, So whydid you need to use those words?
Why do you have to choose thosewords? What those words mean to you
when you're telling them to me?Are you telling them at me? Or

(01:08:49):
you're telling them because you're hurting foryourself? There's no emotional responsibility to that.
That's just avoidant in deflection, that'sjust avoidant. That's avoidant behavior.
Because then so when every time yougetting the issue, you're gonna run away
and then say things and come back, that's just that's that's that's just the
like the onset of resentment. I'mgonna say everything behind your back and then

(01:09:13):
not tell you up front. That'sthat's that's that's gonna because once you say
all those words out loud, thatchanges the image of what you think about
that person, because now you createyour own story, your own narrative,
and you're not actually directly the conflict. You're not being assertive, you're not
being actually with the person that's inconflict. So now you're not teaching how
to have healthy conflict resolution skills.You're not teaching interpersonal resolution skills, you're

(01:09:38):
not teaching emotional articulation, you're notteaching healthy expression publicly m hm, and
now you're teaching how to be avoidant. It's all the same time, mm
hmm. So like we are soavoidant when it comes to conflict, which
is why you see you know whenwomen at the club, right and they're

(01:09:58):
like, do that for the nonThey had to give them fake numbers,
change their name, do all thesethings to protect themselves because they're afraid of
a dude not actually respecting the fact. They're like, no, I don't
want to, right, So we'renot teaching the proper etiquette for honest conversation.
Because we couldn't do that with ourparents, Why would I do it

(01:10:21):
with somebody that's not right? Right? That's yeah, that's a recipe for
disaster. Yeah, it's really whenI say that, I was sending this
to some of my girlfriends, I'mlike, look what is this? I'm
was like, what is this?I was trying to wrap my head.
I was like, why are theydoing that? Are they doing this being
so they can be able to stillexpress their feelings and not put them in

(01:10:44):
front of embarrassment, you understand whatI'm saying or whatever it is, because
it wasn't just did at home.It was done in school. Like a
teacher really took a student, yeah, a young bro out and put her
in a bathroom. And she evensaid that the mother approved of it.
She said the mother approved of it, you know, on there And I

(01:11:05):
was like, it's like, whatwhat is happening? What's your self regulation?
That's not self regulation, that's that'sthat's that's just that's just catharsis.
That's not that's not that's not restorativeat all. It's like what was there
like an after effect of like let'ssit down and talk about what happened.
Let's like like, what are theywhat are they doing at home? Right?

(01:11:28):
And just wondering what's happening at home? You know? Does that go
back to that, to that ourupbringing with uh you know when you talk
about kids and foul languages we sayback in the day, it doesn't go
back to the whole thing of respectbecause uh, I give you an example.
I have a daughter, little daughter, and I heard a curse in
one night playing playing the game.And I didn't get upset about the language

(01:11:53):
revis and I got said, shewas too loud, you know, keep
me up. But is this wenever here to talk about what language you
know, to use? Would Ibe offended? Which if she uses around
me? I don't know. Butthe thing is is we never here to
talk about the language about respect.But she knows not to use that around

(01:12:15):
her parents, and I don't useit around her. But when I go
to work, I get situation whenI cuss like a sailor too. So
I'm doing the same same thing,so m and it comes from that whole
thing of growing up with respect,respect your elder, respect, efferents.
You don't use that language and knowingI guess we do. Most people do

(01:12:38):
know that when they ask school whenthey were different, they're using that language.
So I guess the thing of itall is if you say that around
your your friend, you should beable to say it at home as well.
Mmm. I think that's a placefor everything, the time and place
for everything. You know that thatthat's environmental health. Do I know who

(01:12:58):
I am where I am? Right? Environmental? Do I know who I
am where I am? Because thetruth is that the way I talk to
my psychologist friends is not the wayI'm talking to my medical doctor friends.
It's not the way I talk tomy homeboys. You know, because you
know, And so does the childknow when and where to say what?
Because you know? Because because becausealso there isn't a point There isn't a

(01:13:21):
point of time like I have.I call it the black box talk where
hey, we close the door andyou say everything that's on your mind,
no punishment, no reprimand nothing.It's just say everything that's on your chest.
And then that's what we're done.We hug it out and we open
the door again. Because I wantyou to know that you can say it
safely around me, so you understandthat there's a space and the time for

(01:13:44):
things right. It's that black boxtalk, but run into the bathroom yelling
it right. Where's where's where's thethere's no container, there's no container,
it's just open space. There's nocontainer, and so there's no conscientiousness,
there's no consciousness that which goes backto what Michaels talking about. Michaels talking
about there's no respect to even yourown words. What do your words really

(01:14:08):
mean? You know how powerful yourwords are? Invest in how powerful their
words are. They don't realis's howpowerful what they say is. And most
kids don't even know how powerful theyare because they don't feel powerful enough to
say what they want to say.So when they learn the power of their
words, they'll actually be more willingto talk about those things. Empower your
killed children to speak to you andunderstand that you may not be the best

(01:14:29):
parent in the world, but youcan be the best learner. And then
when they know that you're willing tolearn them, the conversation goes everywhere.
Yeah, it's so dynamic. Mmhmmmmmm hm. I love how you said
that, Big mikel. No,but really this has been a great,

(01:14:50):
great conversation. I guess we didn'thave anybody to want to come in.
Yeah, type in the comments alot a lot of comments. Yeah,
the comment has been going. Youwant to go to a few comments really
quick? Pound uh right here.Knowledge isn't always power, application is mm?

(01:15:20):
Yeah that one. That's that's avery tricky one to be honest with
you. Unfortunately, I think thatthis younger generation has too much access,
thinking that it's knowledge, and theythink their access is their power, but

(01:15:42):
they're not really creating knowledge, andso they think because they have access,
they have the right to have power. Or like, for instance, you
see on social media, how youknow, You'll see celebrities, you know,
post things, and then you'll seepeople typesing all these negative things about
them, like they know them.I'm like, you don't know this person.
You don't know what they do forthe lift, you don't know what

(01:16:04):
they do, how they woke up. You have no idea about the like
what you saw is a post ofthem, and then you think that their
life is completely like that, andthen you think that you can say anything
to them, right, like theyaren't human, right, And so you
have all this access, thinking youhave this power, but you're but the
knowledge of what you're the way thatyou have. You haven't learned anything about
them, You've only consumed that thepersona mm hmm. And and that's and

(01:16:28):
that's a weird fine line. Especiallyin social media. It crosses so many
boundaries and and and it's so sadpeople like, oh, I'm taking a
block on social media to day.I'm not gonna I'm gonna be back for
six months. Why do you haveto tell us that? Go just go
like when you care, like,go like you're going to be back,
and then they come back in threemonths. So so it's important to understand,

(01:16:49):
like, you know, knowledge canonly knowledge is earned. Wah,
you're willing to learn, right,you know? So I am. That's
a tricky one. That's a trickyone. All right, Okay, Well
this has been a great show.It's been a great very informative. Again,

(01:17:10):
I thank you, I thank youagain. Welcome, Welcome to the
family. Welcome to Yeah, welcometo the family. Tomorrow we are back
live, well no we're not live, but we're back on the season of
Love podcast and it's talking about embracingI believe the healing and overcome changes,

(01:17:31):
embracing the change, and that isa topic for tomorrow and it's a great
as you guys the season and Stephalovepodcast just go right to it here,
you can speaker here right on YouTube. It's a good one. It's a
good one. But I want youto have a great weekend. Doctor Will
and dog Pound Mike, Mike,and to all of my beautiful BTG crew

(01:17:55):
out there, again, I wantto thank you. I truly appreciate you
all. You come back here.We can support us here and all of
the conversations that we have. Wehave authentic conversational over here, we really
do. And again I think wewere really blessed to have a to have
you here with us now that wecan truly start to grow and blossom the

(01:18:19):
way that it is supposed to.So again, thank you, thank you,
Thank you, dog Pound, Mike, Mike. I want to thank
the Elements for my intro. Asalways, I told you I'm coming to
get another one soon and I willbe. I will be. But also
make sure that you guys, we'regonna do. It's a replay that you

(01:18:39):
can listen to on Spotify, usBreaker, iHeart Radio app on all of
those good things. Please write areview down, you know those things that
help us also like subscribe forward,tell somebody about us, you know,
tell a friend to tell a friendwho acts Naomi. All right, it's
gurty gouty, its Namber Banks hereon this a man. Revisity that podcast

(01:19:00):
real quick. Remember be good toone another, in yourselves and always keep
it sexy. I see y'all nextweek. Hey is the goddess Naomi Ranks
And I hope you've enjoyed that lastepisode of Naomi. And if you do,
please a like subscribe, but aswell as comments as to get keep

(01:19:29):
it sexy, asks Naomi. Whenwe talk about relations differ