Taylor Swift wants you to know about Travis' big..... Johnson won't swear in Congresswoman

President Trump spent the government shutdown creating AI deepfakes instead of governing, then turned on Fox News for daring to interview a Democrat. Speaker Mike Johnson refuses to swear in a congresswoman who'd be the deciding vote to release the Epstein files—total coincidence, he swears. And Taylor Swift dropped her most explicit song ever about Travis Kelce's... talents. Federal workers aren't getting paid, but at least we're all entertained.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga Shark media from Washington, d C. Where everything is closed.
This is ballot, that's right, But for some reason, I
still have to work. So let's hit this. President Trump
is now fighting with Fox News, Yes, the network that
essentially operates as his twenty four hour promotional channel. So

(00:26):
what happened? Peter Doocey interviewed Democratic Senator Mark Kelly about
the government shutdown, and Trump watched the whole thing, getting
progressively angrier, like someone hate watching a reality show they
claim they never watch. He went on truth Social, which
is like Twitter if Twitter were a diary your uncle
kept in his garage and just unleashed. Trump wrote, quote,

(00:51):
why is Fox News and Peter Doocey putting on Democrat
Senator Mark Kelly to talk about totally unabated or challenged healthcare? Now,
First of all, totally unabated is doing a lot of work.
In that sentence, I'm not sure what it means, but
it sounds like something you'd yell at a plumber. But
here's where it gets interesting. Trump then said Fox News

(01:12):
sucks up the ratings because of us, and then spin
them in the Democrats' direction, which is an amazing accusation
to make about Fox News. That's like accusing a golden
retriever of being too aloof. He also complained that Fox
refuses to show polls putting him at sixty five percent popularity,
which he calls a Republican record. Now, I don't know

(01:34):
what poles he's looking at, but they're definitely not the
same ones the rest of us see. The president then
demanded Fox News get on board or get off board now,
which grammatically raises some questions off board, like are they
supposed to leave the pirate ship walk the plank. We're
in the middle of a government shutdown, Federal workers aren't

(01:55):
getting paid, essential services are in limbo, and the President
of the United States is spending his ears making memes.
That's right. While Congress was supposed to be negotiating, Trump
was in what I can only describe as a deep
fake laboratory, cooking up content like a teenager who just
discovered TikTok filters. On the second night of the shutdown,

(02:15):
Trump posted an AI generated video showing himself throwing a
Trump twenty twenty eight hat onto House Minority Leader Hakeem
Jeffries during their Oval office meeting. You know, the meeting
that was supposed to prevent the shutdown, the one that failed. Yeah,
that one. He set the whole thing to ymca by
the village people and ended it with himself laughing hysterically

(02:38):
at his own joke. Trump also posted a six second
clip of himself wearing a cape and a cap standing
on a mountain. No context, no explanation, just mountain Trump
and a cape. I have so many questions, and I'm
certain I don't want any of them answered. Then came
another video where Trump appeared as the Grim Reaper while
Vice President JD. Vance played drums in the back the

(03:01):
Grim Reaper during a government shut down with his vice
president on drums. This is real life, This actually happened now.
When White House Press Secretary Caroline Levitt was asked about
all this, she said, and I quote, he has the
right to do that. It's his social media, which is
technically true. You also have the right to eat ice
cream for breakfast every day, but at some point someone

(03:23):
should probably check in on you. Taylor Swift released a
new album called the Life of a Showgirl on Friday,
and one particular track is causing quite the stir. The
song is called wood Yes wood, and no, it's not
about carpentry. The song is being called Swift's most explicitly

(03:46):
sexual track of her career, and it's very clearly about
her fiance, Travis kelce specifically about one particular aspect of
Travis Kelcey that apparently deserves its own musical tribute. Now,
Taylor Swift has written love songs before, she's written breakup songs,
She's written revenge songs, but this, this is new territory.

(04:06):
The chorus includes the phrase knock on wood, but we're
not talking about furniture. Let me paint you a picture
of what's happening in this song without getting too graphic.
Swift sings about a redwood tree and refers to his
magic wand breaking her curse of bad luck and love.
Redwood trees, for those who need this explained, are among
the tallest trees in the world. I'll let you connect

(04:29):
those dots yourself. During a recent podcast interview, Swift talked
about how Kelsey is a human exclamation point who's a
vibe booster in everyone's life, though apparently, based on this song,
he's boosting more than just vibes. Speaker Mike Johnson went
on meet the press this weekend, and Kristin Welker asked
him a very simple question, why won't you swear in

(04:52):
the newly elected congresswoman from Arizona? And Johnson's response was essentially,
how dare you ask me that perfectly re reasonable question.
Here's what's happening. Representative elect Adelita Grihava from Arizona is
waiting to be sworn in. She would be the two
hundred and fourteenth Democrat in Congress. Now, why does that
specific number matter? Well, those two hundred and fourteen Democrats

(05:17):
plus four Republicans who are apparently capable of independent thought,
would have exactly two hundred and eighteen votes, the magic
number needed to pass a discharge petition to release the
Jeffrey Epstein files from the Department of Justice. So, naturally,
Johnson has decided the House just can't be in session
right now, too busy government shut down and all very
inconvenient timing. What are the odds? Welker pointed out that

(05:40):
even during a shutdown, there are still things Congress could
be doing. Appropriations, bills, swearing and elected representatives, you know,
the basic functions of democracy. Small stuff. Johnson's defense was
that they're doing critical work and that they need to
keep the government open to have bipartisan debates and discussions,
which is interesting considering the government is currently closed and

(06:03):
he's the one who won't reconvene the House. Portions of
today's show were made with the help of Ai