Trump Replaces Biden's Portrait With An Autopen While Demanding UN Investigate The Escalator

Patrick Gutfield covers the week's most absurd political theater: Anonymous artists install a bronze statue of Trump and Epstein holding hands on the National Mall (spoiler: it doesn't last), Trump replaces Biden's presidential portrait with a picture of an autopen machine in his new "Walk of Fame," and the President demands a UN investigation into "triple sabotage" involving a broken escalator, malfunctioning teleprompter, and bad audio. Plus, why every political distraction seems designed to avoid one topic: releasing the Epstein files.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, d C. Where we'll release
the Epstein files. This is ballad. They've tried their best
to distract everyone and it worked for a week. But
let's hit this. Now that Kimmelgate is over, we can
get back to releasing the Epstein files. Hi, I'm Patrick

(00:23):
Gutfield and an anonymous group of artists. The side of
the National Mall needed more awkward bronze moments and installed
a statue called best Friends Forever, showing Trump and Jeffrey
Epstein holding hands. The plaque celebrates their long lasting bond
and calls Epstein Trump's closest friend, which is about as
subtle as a brick through a window. The timing is perfect.

(00:44):
Right as people are calling for the full release of
Epstein files. Nothing says let's have a calm, rational discussion
about government transparency, like a bronze statue of two controversial
figures having a moment on the lawn in front of
the Capitol. Trump and Epstein were neighbors and Florida back
in the eighties and hung out regularly. They flew around together,
appeared at parties, the usual wealthy guy social circuit stuff.

(01:09):
Then in two thousand and four, they had some falling
out over a real estate deal, because apparently even friendships
among the ultra rich come down to property disputes. When
Epstein got arrested in twenty nineteen, Trump was quick to
distance himself, saying I had a falling out with him
a long time ago. Trump even filed a defamation lawsuit
against The Wall Street Journal in July over an article

(01:31):
claiming he gave Epstein a drawing of a naked woman
for his fiftieth birthday. That's a very specific thing to
sue about. Most people argue over whether they borrowed twenty dollars,
but here we are with naked lady drawings as legal evidence.
The National Park Service actually issued a permit for this
thing to stay up until Sunday at eight pm. The

(01:52):
stated purpose on the application to demonstrate freedom of speech
and artistic expression using political imagery. That's bureaucratic language for
we can't stop people from being weird with bronze. This
is the same anonymous group that brought us other greatest
hits like Dictator approved a sculpture featuring supportive quotes from Putin,

(02:14):
Victor Orbon, and Kim Jong Un. They also did that
replica of Nancy Pelosi's desk with fake poop on it,
paying tribute to January sixth. These artists really have a
theme going awkward political moments rendered in permanent materials. The
Washington Post got tipped off by someone claiming to be
one of the artists, though they can't confirm his identity.

(02:36):
He's like the Banksy of uncomfortable political bronze work, except
instead of stencils on walls, its statues of people holding
hands in the most loaded way possible. The Parks Department
hauled it away. They claimed it violated the permit terms,
though they didn't specify exactly how. Maybe there's a no
creepy bronze dancing clause in the fine print. So Trump

(03:00):
just unveiled his latest White House project, the Presidential Walk
of Fame, which sounds less like presidential history and more
like something you'd find on Hollywood Boulevard next to SpongeBob Star.
The walkway features black and white portraits of presidents in
gold frames along the West wing colonnade. Very dignified, very traditional,
except for one tiny detail. Instead of Joe Biden's presidential portrait,

(03:25):
Trump hung up a picture of an autopen, yes, the
machine that signs documents automatically. This stems from Trump's ongoing
obsession with Biden's use of the autopen for official documents.
Trump ordered an investigation into Biden's cognitive decline back in June,
complete with a memo calling for a probe into whether
people conspired to hide Biden's mental state. Nothing says moving

(03:49):
forward like relitigating your predecessor's signature habits. Biden dismissed the
whole thing at the time, saying, let me be clear,
I made the decisions during my presidency. But apparently Trump
wasn't satisfied with that explanation. So now visitors to the
West Wing get to see a photo of office equipment
where a president's portrait should be. Trump had telegraphed this
move weeks ago in an interview with The Daily Caller,

(04:11):
saying we'll put up a picture of the auto pen
when asked about Biden's portrait. At least he kept his word.
That's consistency and pettiness. The White House Press Corps noticed
the setup coming together this week, with a gold banner
reading Presidential Walk of Fame hanging above brown paper squares
on the wall very mysterious, very dramatic reveal. Chris Maher,

(04:33):
Biden's former deputy press secretary, took a shot at the priorities,
continually impressed at how laser focused the White House continues
to be. On Trump's Day one promise to lower prices. Translation,
glad to see we're focusing on the important stuff like
the portrait politics instead of you know, governing. Now, before
you get annoyed at this, just remember it's one more

(04:55):
thing to distract you from Trump not releasing the Epstein files.
So President Trump is officially escalated escalator Gate into an
international incident, demanding the United Nations investigate what he's calling
triple sabotage during his visit. We've gone from a minor
technical hiccup to a full blown conspiracy theory in record time.

(05:16):
Trump posted on truth Social that not one, not two,
but three very sinister events occurred during his un trip.
First the escalator stopped, then his teleprompter malfunctioned, and finally
he says the sound was completely off. That's right. Trump
is treating routine technical difficulties like they're the Pentagon papers.

(05:37):
He's particularly dramatic about the escalator incident. It's amazing that
Milania and I didn't fall forward onto the sharp edges
of these steel steps face first. He credits their tight
grip on the handrail for preventing what would have been
a disaster. Most people would call this walking upstairs, where
Trump's treating it like surviving a death trap. The teleprompter

(05:59):
broke fifteen minutes into his hour long speech, forcing him
to read from printed remarks. The horror a politician having
to use paper notes instead of a screen. That hasn't
happened since well most of human history. Trump's convinced this
was all coordinated. This wasn't a coincidence. This was triple
sabotage at the UN. He's demanding an immediate investigation and

(06:22):
wants all security tapes from the escalator saved, especially the
emergency stop button. The Secret Service is apparently involved now,
because nothing says national security threat like malfunctioning audio visual equipment.
How about you's look into serious things like Jeffrey Epstein,
you know, the guy photographed with Donald Trump released the
Epstein files, and yeah, we use some AI today.