Trump's Secret Military Meeting, AI Medbed Scam & Portland War Zone

President Trump attends a mysterious gathering of hundreds of generals at Quantico that's definitely not suspicious at all. The White House insists it's just about "esprit de corps" and touring weapons, which is exactly what you say when everything is completely normal. Then Trump briefly promotes AI-generated "medbeds" - alien healing technology that turned out to be expensive heating pads from a New Age convention. Plus, Portland gets designated as "war ravaged," which comes as news to Portland residents who thought their biggest threat was choosing between kombucha flavors.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Callaroga shark media from Washington, DC, where nobody is planning
a military takeover. This is ballot that's right. We get
all the generals together in a room all the time.
Nothing to see here, Let's hit this. President Trump announced
he'll be attending what can only be described as the

(00:24):
world's most expensive military book club meeting this Tuesday at Quantico.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has called together hundreds of generals
and admirals on short notice, and nobody seems to know
exactly why. Trump described it to NBC as really just
a very nice meeting talking about how well we're doing militarily,
which sounds suspiciously like when your boss calls an emergency

(00:46):
all hands meeting to tell everyone how great the company
is doing right before announcing layoffs. The President went on
to explain that the gathering is all about esprit de coors,
and he actually asked the reporter if they knew what
that meant. Nothing quite builds military morale like having to
explain French phrases to journalists during a phone interview. Now.
The Washington Post reports that this sudden assembly of military

(01:09):
brass from around the world comes at a time when
the Trump administration has been taking an axe to senior
military ranks, So you've got to wonder is this a
PEP rally or a performance review? Are they discussing warrior
spirit or wondering who's getting the warrior boot? Vice President
Vance tried to downplay the whole thing, saying it's not

(01:29):
unusual at all and calling the media coverage odd, which
is exactly what someone would say if they were planning
something completely usual and normal. Right, Why are you guys
making such a big deal about our totally routine, mysterious
military gathering. Trump himself suggested the generals would be touring
equipment sites and talking about the newest weapons. So either

(01:53):
this is a legitimate strategic meeting or someone's about to
get a very expensive show and tell presentation. Secret Service
is now handling security for the event, which adds another
layer of complexity to what was supposed to be a
simple military meet and greet. At this point, they might
as well sell tickets and call it a defense expo.
All we know for certain is that hundreds of top

(02:14):
military officials are being summoned to one location with no explanation.
The president is attending, and everyone involved insists there's absolutely
nothing unusual about any of this, which is exactly how
normal things always happen. In Washington, President Trump briefly shared
what appears to be an AI generated video of himself
promoting something called medbeds, which sounds like what you'd get

(02:36):
if a conspiracy theorist opened a furniture store. The fake video,
designed to look like a Fox News segment hosted by
his daughter in law, Lara Trump, featured an artificial version
of the President promising that every American will soon receive
their own medbed card, which is either the most ambitious
healthcare plan in history or the most elaborate infomercial ever created.

(02:58):
In the video, fake Trump tow to these supposed miracle
healing beds, saying they'd provide guaranteed access to our new
hospitals led by the top doctors in the nation, equipped
with the most advanced technology in the world, so essentially
universal healthcare, but with alien technology and a really good mattress. Now,
for those unfamiliar with medbed conspiracy theories, they're basically the

(03:20):
intersection of UFO believers and people who think the government
is hiding miracle cures. The theory goes that we've reverse
engineered alien technology to create healing beds, but the government
only gives them to elite insiders, which explains why politicians
always look so refreshed after those long congressional hearings. This

(03:40):
particular conspiracy theory has been popular in QAnon circles, where
supporters have long believed Trump would eventually release this secret
alien healing technology to the public, and honestly, if you're
going to promise universal health care, we got it from
space aliens is certainly one way to explain the funding.
The real world version of these medbeds appears to be

(04:02):
overpriced heating pads sold at New Age conventions, often marketed
as magnetic and infrared healing devices. So we've gone from
alien technology that can cure anything to a blanket that
gets warm and costs three hundred dollars. Trump deleted the
video after posting it, which raises the question did he
realize it was fake or did someone tell him the

(04:24):
medbed rollout wasn't scheduled until next quarter. President Trump has
authorized the deployment of federal troops to Portland, Oregon, with
permission to use full force if needed to protect ice
facilities from protesters, which means Portland is about to have

(04:44):
more federal agents than coffee shops, and that's saying something.
Trump described the city as war ravaged in a truth
social post targeting what he calls attacks by Antifa and
other domestic terrorists. Now call Portland war ravaged is like
calling a yoga class combat training. Technically, there might be

(05:06):
some stretching involved, but nobody's really in danger. Oregon Governor
Tina Kotek pushed back, saying there is no national security
threat in Portland. Our communities are safe and calm, which
is probably the most defensive anyone's ever had to be
about Portland being too peaceful. No, really, we're totally fine.
Our biggest problem is deciding between seventeen different kombucha flavors.

(05:29):
The Pentagon confirmed they're ready to mobilize military personnel at
the President's direction, though they haven't specified what full force
actually mean in Portland terms. That could range from actual
military action to aggressively enforcing proper recycling protocols. Trump also
signed an order formally designating Antifa as a domestic terrorist organization,

(05:51):
though legal experts point out there's no actual legal mechanism
to do this in the United States. So essentially, he's
declared war on a group that may not technically exist
in any official capacity. The Department of Homeland Security claims
that Rose City Antifa, because of course, Portland's ANTIFA chapter
has the most precious name possible, has been dosing ice

(06:12):
officers and sending death threats, though in Portland a death
threat might just be telling someone their beard isn't locally sourced,
and Rose City Antifa just sounds like the name of
a soccer club. Portions of today's show were made possible
by an elected clown, an AI