Trump's World Cup Power Play, Melania's $90 Ornaments & LA's Million Dollar Bathroom

President Trump discovers that hosting the World Cup gives him more leverage than a UN Security Council seat, threatening to move games away from cities run by "radical left lunatics" while holding cards on Israel's potential soccer suspension. Melania launches a Christmas ornament collection in October featuring American landmarks for ninety dollars each - because nothing says holiday spirit like spending that much on a miniature Statue of Liberty. And Los Angeles approves a one million dollar two-stall bathroom at Runyon Canyon, proving that even porta potty upgrades can become budget disasters in California. That's nearly half a million dollars per toilet, making this the most expensive place to take a break in American history.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Kalaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where it's Christmas in October.
This is ballid. That's right, the president is turning the
capital into Washington QBC. Let's hit this. I'm Patrick Guttfield,
and President Trump has discovered that hosting the World Cup

(00:24):
gives him more diplomatic leverage than a UN Security Council
seat and better ratings than the Olympics combined. While other
Western leaders were at the United Nations last week announcing
recognition of a Palestinian state, Trump could only watch from
the sidelines. But now that soccer's governing bodies are considering
suspending Israel from international competition, the same fate that befell

(00:46):
Russia after its invasion of Ukraine, suddenly Trump holds all
the cards. UEFA's executive committee could vote to suspend Israel
from European competition, which would effectively banish the country from
international soccer entirely. And Trump, who has already proposed lifting
Russia's soccer ban as part of a potential peace deal,
now finds himself as possibly the only world leader who

(01:08):
can prevent Israel from getting the same treatment. Here's where
things get interesting. Trump has also suggested he might move
World Cup matches away from cities he considers unsafe. When
asked about Seattle and San Francisco, two of the eleven
US host cities, Trump called them places run by radical
left lunatics who don't know what they're doing. Trump mentioned

(01:29):
Memphis in Chicago as possible replacement cities, saying we're going
into Memphis, and we're going into some other cities very soon.
We're going into Chicago. It'll be safe for the World Cup,
which makes it sound like he's planning a military operation
instead of a soccer tournament. The president went on to
say that if any city seems even a little bit

(01:49):
dangerous for the World Cup or the twenty twenty eight Olympics,
we won't allow it. We'll move it around a little bit.
So apparently Trump's foreign policy strategy now involves threatening to
relocate sporting events like their campaign rallies. Meanwhile, the World
Cup draw is scheduled for December fifth at the Kennedy
Center in Washington, where they'll determine the tournament schedule for

(02:09):
all forty eight participating teams. At this rate, they might
need to schedule a backup draw in case Trump decides
to reorganize the entire tournament based on his personal safety assessments,
or decides to World Cup draw as too woke. Like
most Kennedy Center events, Milania Trump has launched a new
line of Christmas ornaments called Celebrating America, because apparently October

(02:30):
is the new December when it comes to holiday marketing.
The collection features miniature versions of American landmarks like the
Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, and Mount Rushmore, all
priced between seventy five and ninety dollars. Now ninety dollars
for a Christmas ornament is quite the investment. For that price,
you could buy an actual small Christmas tree, but then

(02:52):
you wouldn't get Malania's signature engraved on it, which apparently
adds significant value to your holiday decorating experience. The ornaments
are designed to celebrate America's upcoming two hundred and fiftieth
anniversary in twenty twenty six, which gives them a patriotic
theme that's either deeply meaningful or incredibly convenient for marketing purposes.

(03:13):
Each purchase also includes what they're calling a special three
dimensional animated digital collectible, because even Christmas ornaments need NFTs. Now,
Malania explained that she sought inspiration in our nation's upcoming
two hundred and fiftieth birthday and all of the holiday
blessings that we enjoy as Americans, which is a beautiful sentiment,
though one of those American blessings apparently includes the freedom

(03:36):
to sell overpriced holiday decorations in September. The First Lady
has been in the ornament business since twenty twenty two,
expanding into various products including NFT releases, a two hundred
and forty five dollars Mother's Day necklace, and watercolor paintings.
At this point, she's basically running a luxury lifestyle brand
from the East wing. President Trump has promised a grand

(03:59):
celebration worthy of the momentous occasion for the two hundred
and fiftieth anniversary next year, so these ornaments are essentially
advance merchandise for America's birthday party, which is either patriotic
planning or the most elaborate souvenir shop strategy and political history.
The ornaments are available for pre order on both Malania's
personal website and something called USA memorabilia dot Com, which

(04:21):
sounds like where you'd go to buy a piece of
the Berlin wall or a chunk of the original constitution.
Los Angeles has approved a plan to build a one
million dollar public restroom at Runyon Canyon, proving that even
bathroom breaks can become budget disasters in California. The city
signed off on spending nine hundred and sixty thousand dollars

(04:41):
for a two stall bathroom at the entrance to the
popular Hollywood Hiking Trail. For context, that's nearly half a
million dollars per toilet, which makes airplane bathroom prices look reasonable.
Local residents are understandably upset, especially since the city had
to slash its fire department budget last year. Ark currently
uses porta potties, which a city spokesman described as scruffy

(05:03):
and often smelly. So essentially, Los Angeles is spending a
million dollars to upgrade from portable toilets that smell bad
to permanent toilets that presumably smell better. That's two hundred
thousand dollars per improvement in oder quality. Mayor Karen Bass's
office defended the project, noting that the park welcomes two
million visitors per year. That breaks down to about fifty

(05:26):
cents per visitor for bathroom construction. Costs, which actually sounds
reasonable until you remember they could have built the same
thing for half the price. The city statement promised the
new facility would make parks safe, clean, accessible, and enjoyable
for Angelinos and visitors alike, though at a million dollars,
this bathroom better come with concierge service and complementary towels.

(05:47):
Portions of today's show were made with the help of
a very expensive bathroom break and ai