From Recovery to Revival: Melanie Beddis’ Mission to Feed Hope in Kensington

Once caught in the grips of addiction, Melanie Beddis now stands as a force of hope in Kensington, PA—one of the toughest neighborhoods in America. Nearly five years sober, Melanie has turned her second chance into a mission as Director of Operations at Great Goods, a free grocery store feeding hundreds and restoring dignity to those in need. In this powerful episode of Be A Voice, Melanie opens up about her journey from rock bottom to rebuilding lives—one meal, one act of kindness, one day at a time. This is more than a story of recovery… it’s a story of redemption, resilience, and the power of giving back.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Welcome to be a voice. I'm Brick Carpenter in This
is Nousuli Media. Thanks for joining me today. I'm excited
about today's episode because I'm sitting here with somebody I
don't get to spend much time with ever. I get
to see her in passing because she has such a
busy life and she is doing some great things out
there in the community and sometime I've known for quite
some time, and I'm looking forward today to finding out
a little bit more about her. I'm sitting here today

(00:43):
with Melanie Bettis. Mel Hi for having me. Thanks for
being here. I appreciate it. And like I said, I
don't get to spend time with you, I really don't.
I mean I get to see you in passing. I
can to see what outreaches you know, at work, whatever,
but I never to have a heart or a chat
about stuff. So thank you so much for being here.
Of course, you know so I know who you are,
and I know I mean you you are a person

(01:05):
in recovery. That's how we met. How many years you
got now.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Like four and a half almost five years?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, my gosh, it's great.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
When was the last time you thought that you could
have had four and a half years never never.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I actually got out of jail four years ago today.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Really, Yes, this is like an anniversary for you as
a milestone. Yeah, amazing. How long were you in jail for?

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I was in jail for like four months and then
they sent me to a rehab for twenty eight days.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
So you're incarcerated, yep. Got out four years ago today, yep.
And then we went to a rehab.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, I got I got out of jail in October
and then they sent me to the rehab for twenty
eight days.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
That's amazing. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. I mean, think
about that, you know, four years ago, four and a
half how many years, yeah, four four and a half,
four and a half years ago, and here you are
sitting here now, and there was a lot to unpack
that we can unpack in those four and a half years.
And what went on, I mean, your life. You know,

(02:06):
just trying to reclaim or to find yourself for the
first time ever is one of the hardest things you
could ever do. And I don't think some people understand
that unless you're in that position, and just because you're
in that position, everybody's different. So I don't know what
you went through and everything that, but you know what,
what was your drug of choice?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
So I started on opiates and then you know, the
cocaine and the crack everything comes with it. There really
wasn't much I would say no to.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's so funny too, because you know, unless I ask
somebody who's an alcoholic. You know, alcoholics have that thing.
Everybody else is like anything, you know, so it's you're
open to it, but opi it's where a downfall for you.
That's sort of.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Like my you know, people talk about drinking and that
like aha moment. It was like when that opiate hit me,
I was like, okay, everything's okay.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
How old were you.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
So I had tried I'd like, you know, a perkos,
I'd here or there in high school, but didn't really
get that. And then it was like the first time
I did in oxy eighty. I was eighteen and I
had a boyfriend who was addicted to them, and I like,
you know, couldn't get it. I'm like, why can't you
just stop? Why is it so important? Like you know,
I was the crazy girlfriend that would throw them out

(03:20):
the window while we were driving, and like I would
have killed me for doing that.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Oh my god, stayed with me at the door after it.
I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
As somebody now, like I can't imagine, but yeah, and
then I got fed up and I tried it and
I was like, okay, everything clicked.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
I was like I get it now, isn't that interesting?
I you know, I was totally in the pills, I
you know, for longest time, and everyone did a touch heroin,
but like that one person just got me to that
point yep. And once they did, it was like oh wow, yep,
you know, And not to romanticize it, but that's really
what it is. It's like it catches you right away
and you're eighteen, Yeah, howld are you now now thirty four? Okay?

(03:59):
So so for twelve years or almost twelve years of
your life, yeah, in an active addiction. I mean, did
you did you party a little bit in high school?
Prior to eighteen?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
I drank and stuff. My mom was like really really strict.
I went to Catholic school for twelve years, like so
you know, I got away with what I could, but
I still knew there was like limitations, like it wasn't
an option for me to not graduate high school. It
wasn't an option for me to not show up to
school if I didn't feel like it, Like I had
that structure kind of my entire life, which you know,

(04:31):
prime example, like I do well in rehab, I do
well in jail, Like I need structure around me, And
as soon as I don't have it and I'm forced
to make my own decisions, it's like everything goes to
shit immediately.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I can. I can appreciate that so much. You know,
where did.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
You grow up in Northeast Philly?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Okay, so you're from the northeast, So you're from Philly.
And then eighteen, you know this this boyfriend sort of
just got you hooked there and then sky was the
limit at that point.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, it just it all snowballed so quickly.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
And did you know at eighteen were you living at home?

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Then I was. I moved in with him quickly, I
think I went. I didn't go to rehab for the
first time until I turned twenty one. It was my
twenty first birthday.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
You know.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
I tried to like keep things under wraps for my
family and then you know, once they found out, obviously
everybody was pretty involved.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
How long was it before they found out.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
It was a couple of years, like they knew something
was you know, something was up.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
But do you And I'm gonna ask you because my
father used to say me, what's wrong to You're sick?
You know what? You got something going on there because
you know you lose and weightlessing. Do you think that
the families like really know, they just don't want to
admit it, like now in what we know now and
where we're at, or do you really think that they
are blind to it?

Speaker 2 (05:46):
I mean now, like once I was in it and
I was in and out of rehab, my mom knew
every time, and like she might not say something just
because she didn't want to push me away from her.
But then because it wasn't like it is now, it
wasn't like so common and so talked about. Like I
don't think anybody thought, you know, this little white girl
from the suburbs basically is now addicted to heroin, Like once.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Again that somebody that looks like you shouldn't be exactly
like that whole from the suburbs. Yeah, you know that
all American kids from the suburbs shouldn't be doing drugs. Yeah,
And or they don't want to believe they're doing drugs, ye,
and maybe that they're depressed or losing weight exactly, but
they don't. Yeah, that's interesting you said that. I don't
have many people that say that or will admit to that.
I say it all the time. You know, people that

(06:32):
look like me aren't supposed to be overdosing, right.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
And that's why I got away with so much. That's
why it took me, you know, twelve years to end
up in jail, because it was just like, you know,
I could get away with stuff. I presented myself well
enough to where it was like, you know, I held
a job most of the time, I could steal from stores,
and I wasn't your usual suspect. Like it really enabled

(06:54):
me to go a lot further than I probably should have.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Isn't it funny how we can manipulate that system when
we're you know, when we aren't that usual suspect. Yes,
you know, and people were like you you really did that? Well, yeah,
of course, because they wouldn't expect us to do that.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah. When I got arrested this time, that I was
in like such disbelief because any other time a cop
would like let me go, be like call your parents,
get out of here, and when they actually brought me
into the holding cell, I was like, what is happening? Like,
I'm not going to jail?

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Oh did you get arrested for that time?

Speaker 2 (07:24):
So funny story, but I was on a pretty vicious run.
It was like one of my longer ones, and you know,
all the wheels are falling off, and I didn't have
anywhere to live. I had a stray dog that I
found in Kensington, and I didn't have a car, and
I rented a U haul in someone else's name, and
I was just like, you know what this is it?

(07:45):
This is going to be where I'm going to live.
It has air conditioning. It was the middle of summer, Like,
I'll be fine in here. And a friend of mine
was letting me go to her. She worked for an
apartment complex and she was like, you can go shower
one of the empty apartment complexes. But it was in
Delaware County, so I went there. I did that, and

(08:05):
I instead of leaving and getting right back on ninety five,
I was like, I want to stop at the gas
station for ice cream. And I was sitting in the
U haul, had a couple random people in there, the
dog hitting my crack pipe at the gas station, and
all of a sudden, I'm like surrounded by cop cars.
I'm like, what are they all? They here for?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
It was for me, for you, yep, because of the
U haul.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, well so the U hall was still good at
the time, but they were just like, why is somebody
doing drugs in a U haul like in Delaware County.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Oh, it's because they somebody called in.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
On Yeah, somebody at the gas station called in on me.
And what's funny is like they didn't find anything in
the U haul. I had everything hidden. One of the
guys left like a real small bag of meth in
the back of it, and of course I'm like, that's
not even my drug of choice, Like I would never
do meth, like you know, don't disrespect me. And they

(09:02):
locked me up and it turns out I had a
warrant from like twenty thirteen that I never handled and
I had to sit there for four months while they
figured it out.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well four months because of a warrant that Yeah, and
this was when.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
The original was in twenty thirteen.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
And when when when did you get locked.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Up in twenty twenty one?

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Wow? Talk about a system, right, talk about a system
that you don't know whether to trust or you know,
want to scream at every day. Yeah, because it fails
us in many different ways. Four months on a warrant.
What was the warrant for it?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Like a possession charge I had picked up at one point, Yeah,
like something so dumb. And after sitting there the entire time,
and you know, my mom going back and forth with
Bucks County, Delaware County, they finally were like, we're just
going to drop all the charges. We don't even want her,
We're not going to come get her.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
I was like, so you sat incarcerated for four months
and then they just decided dropped the charges on you
and boom, yeah wow.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
But it's it's really funny how everything works out, because
had that not happened, I think if I was in
jail for one day less than I actually was, I
would have went right back to the streets like I
used to sit in jail and go back and forth
in my head and be like, oh, I should have
just you know, I should have just got on ninety five.
I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have done this.
But like now I'm looking at it like thank God,

(10:28):
because that was such a wake up call for me,
and like I had that was the first time that
I could remember in years that I actually just had
to sit by myself and be by myself, like you know,
nobody was coming to get me. Like I didn't have
a release date, there was nothing for me to look
forward to. I couldn't plan anything. I just had to
sit there and think, like what am I gonna do

(10:50):
with the rest of my life?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
And you detok stand in jail, Yes, did they have
any type of triage for you?

Speaker 2 (10:56):
No? So when I was in Delaware County, jail was
still privately owned, so they did nothing. And it was
like I legitimately thought I was gonna die in there.
It was like a full thirty days of just you know,
throwing up on myself, not being able to eat, not
being able to drink water, Like I couldn't move, I

(11:18):
couldn't do anything.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Basically, that's almost like putting something to precipitate withdrawal. Yeah,
and it was terrible signing a death warn't. I almost
feel like i'd sway I would have wanted it felt
to be dead if I that was going through. So
you experienced a thirty day withdrawal on your own while incarcerated,
locked in a cell.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
It wasn't even like you were in an open area
he'd go out or there's air he'd get to or
anything like that.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
No, And at the time, because the gail was still
privately owned, there was like you know, CEOs would just
call out and there wouldn't be enough to like let
us out of ourselves. We would stay locked in our
own celts for days at a time. They would let
us out like once a week to show there was
no going outside. There was no like wreck time. It
was just isolation and asl.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
How did you do it? How'd you get through those days?

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Probably the phone calls to my mom every other day
of me just asking it, like cause you know, I
don't have any information to give. I'm just like, what
do you for dinner? Like I could hear smoking a
cigarette and be like, oh, you're killing me, like just
really like the hope of okay, like what's next, Like
I need something to look forward to to keep me
seeing in here.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Wow, I just trying to wrap my head around that.
That that's pretty intense. I mean I was only in
for forty eight hours one point, and thank gosh, they
missed a bagging my right, and I was able to
like take because I was withdrawn. I'm like, oh look
at that bag. I fuck, you know, And I was
able to quick do it, but I just I just can't.
And you know, so that's a lot of strength, speaks

(12:55):
volumes to your character.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
I mean it was I didn't have a choice, yes, right, So,
like you know, there's the argument of locking people up
and like will that get them sober? And I'm so
fifty to fifty with it, because yes, obviously it doesn't
work every time. Right. We see people get arrested every
day and get released back onto the streets. But for
me and for so many people that I'm close with,

(13:19):
I was not stopping. I was not going to rehab
on my own. I didn't care what the consequences were,
Like I need it to be in that environment where
like I had no choice and I could not leave.
So like I do think it could be beneficial. I
just don't know what what the perfect outline.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
For that is, you know, and that I agree with you.
I really think that. You know, when you get to
sit with yourself by yourself for that long, with no
other choice, you learn a lot about yourself. Yeah, you know,
so if people have that ability to do so, and
that's you know, but what is that fine line and
how are they going to do it exactly? They don't

(13:56):
do it right. If they did it right, yeah, but
they don't do it right, and.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I want to rehab after It definitely played a huge
part too.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Because whose decision was that.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
The Delaware counties. It was my stipulation was I had
to go to treatment. And it was funny because I
called my mom one day and she's like, Okay, Buck,
drop the charges. You're getting released. I'm coming to get
you at six o'clock. And I'm like, yes, I'm giving
all my stuff away. Six o'clock comes, she's not there.
I'm like, what's going on. I finally get to a
phone again. I call her and she's like, they decided

(14:25):
they were sending you to rehab for twenty eight days.
And even though part of me thought like I want
to be sober, I want to do this, I was
so pissed off because I was like, I just want freedom,
I want to go do whatever.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
I was just locked up. I don't get locked up
some more.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
And I'm like, you know, I've been to rehab sixteen times. Already, like,
what is another one?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
How many times you went sixteen?

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, seventeen in total, seventeen seventeen.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
So this twenty twenty one was your last. That was
your seventeenth seventeen times in rehab in twelve years. Sort
of crazy, it really is.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
And I wasn't like an Ama or either, like if
I went, I was down bed and like I'm just
gonna hang out for this time and I'll leave what
I'm supposed to. But yeah, they sent me to that rehab,
and that first night there, my mom like, literally I
don't know how people get sober without their parents. I
really don't, because not a thing while I'm getting high.

(15:21):
But as soon as I'm like all right, I'm ready
to try and do this again, she's like my biggest cheerleader.
And they sent me to rehab in Pottsville. It was
like three hours away. She drove up there before me
to drop me off cigarettes clothes, and they put me
in like a little isolation room because COVID was still
a thing. And they gave me my clothes and they
let me take like a real shower, and I just
remember looking at myself in the like a real mirror

(15:43):
for the first time in months and just like crying,
like the girl brought me apple juice, and I was
like just so filled with gratitude, and I was like,
this is what I can't forget, Like how excited I
am right now just to put on my own sweatpants
and like sleep in a real bed like I was
over the moon.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
And you and you spent all twenty eight days, you
didn't yep, didn't think about leaving. And once you left,
what was your plan?

Speaker 2 (16:11):
So again, right, like I know everything. I'm like, I'm like, yeah,
I'll do what you tell me, but I still have
to have my hand in it. So they're like, you,
we think you should go to a recovery house, and
I'm like that's probably a good idea, but I had
been to a couple before and I never had a
good experience. And again, because I'm so manipulative, like I'm

(16:33):
gonna be best friends with the owner. They're gonna, you know,
let me be the house manager. I'm gonna do whatever
I want. I know how to fake a drug test,
like never with good intentions. So I was like, let
me go to South Philly, separate myself from the Northeast.
Anybody I had known from like twelve Step fellowships kind
of had no faith in me at this point. Like

(16:54):
I was the notorious girl that was in and out
and I had no faith in myself. And I just
wanted to fresh start. Not like a fresh enough start
where I'm leaving the state or the city, right, but
I figure a different part will be you know, good enough.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, and it was. It's actually, when you think about it,
that's a really big difference between Northeast and South Philly. Yes,
it's two separate countries almost, right, And if you say to.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Somebody that's not from here, they don't understand. But to me,
I was like, I don't know where anything is.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Like I always say to people, like, you know, where
do you live? Northeast. I'm gonna have my passport. I
can't get there. Sorry. You know, it's a different world. Yeah,
So yeah, so you ended up in South Philly.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, And since then it's been it's been chaos. The
only different for me. Like, I really dove into the
twelve Step fellowship this time, and I think a lot
of it was I wanted to prove people wrong. I
was so sick of being the girl that was in
and out. I wanted to be like, no, you know what,
I can be your little group secretary and I can

(17:52):
do this, and I can sponsor people, like all those
things that I never thought I could do. And I
did all those things, and I was like, I'm out,
I'm over it. I kind of removed myself and I
was so scared for so long to be like I'm
not going to go to a meeting and I'm gonna
die and my life has gotten better. I've never interacted

(18:15):
with people who didn't rely on twelve step meetings, so
like that was a huge part too, to like go
to different jobs and just have different friends who like
they're They're like, no, I'm just going out for dinner
and then I'm going to go home, and like I'm like, oh, okay,
this is an option, Like I don't have to be
tied down to this outside.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
The rooms, yes, And you know, and I talk about
it often because I went to the rooms at first
because I needed to be saved, yeah, you know, and
that was the way to be saved. You know. Everybody said,
you know, you go to the rooms, and that's what happens.
And I went and I just never really found my
place there. And I like you am a huge manipulator. Yeah,

(18:54):
you know, like if I went somewhere i'd do things.
I was smile because I'm like, oh my gosh, that's me.
I'll be friends with the owner. So I could do this,
you know. But you know, in AA, I really you know,
I did the steps as painful as they are and were,
and so I think everybody should do the steps, whether
they're sober or not. But sure, you know, but I

(19:14):
just couldn't relate. There wasn't a correlation between me and
a lot of the people there, even though I have
a lot of my friends are you know, it's still
doing it and there's still twelve steppers. That's just not
who I am. And I get that, you know. And
my life did get better, And I also found that
there was a lot more yes out there, and there
was other ways of recovery, and I also did that

(19:36):
was one of the biggest things, because there was such
a pigeon hole there that this is the only way, yeap,
when this is twenty twenty five almost twenty twenty six,
and we need to have all different ways. So you left,
you left the rooms.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
I did, and like for me too, like I fully
believe I needed to be there, right, But for me,
the main piece was like that connection, Like I just
wanted to fit in somewhere so bad I didn't care
what it was, where it was. You know. That's like
how I ended up doing outreach and stuff, like I
just wanted to fit in with somebody, and I did
in Ia for a while and I met a lot

(20:12):
of great people, and I feel like I did a
lot of work on myself. But then it's like I
felt like, Okay, what's next, you know, like you go
to rehab, you go to the recovery house, you go
to AA, like there's got to be a next step.
Like I just felt kind of stagnant. And then I'm
like I'm turning into like the grumpy old timer almost
like sitting in the back, like this person's gonna share
the same.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Thing and this great story again.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, And I'm just like, am I doing more good
or more damage by being in here? If I don't
want to be in here?

Speaker 1 (20:40):
And the funny thing is that are you doing more
good or damage to yourself?

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Right?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
And that's really what it boils down to, w and
you recognize that, Yeah, and you left and things flourished
for you. Yeah, they really did things flourished. You never
expected that, did you.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
No, No, I really was scared. And like I have
a couple of friends who did the twelve step thing
for a long time and then like got to a
point where they And I remember asking one of my
friends like a year in and she was like, why
don't you give it a little bit longer, right, which
was probably a good suggestion because I like to jump
ship early. But yeah, it's just like you know, like

(21:14):
the gossip be like nonsense and.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Just and those are just the old men.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, just the judgment. Like I remember I had a
year sober when I was like twenty two years old,
and because I was twenty two years old, I wanted
to drink again and I drank and I was like, Okay,
I guess I gotta go back to a now. And
I felt so judged and I felt like I lost

(21:39):
all my friends and I didn't have anybody, and I
already lost my clean date, so what's the point I
might as well use drugs and like that didn't have
to be that way. Like, I really think it's important
to celebrate everybody, no matter if they're like you know,
I've been thirty days off this or my goal is
to just make it till tomorrow, like whatever it is.
It doesn't have to be such a like serious countdown

(22:01):
and you have to do all these things or you're
gonna die. Like it's kind of intimidating, especially for somebody
just walking.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
In absolutely, you know. But you know, but it's interesting
because you, like me, returned to the streets once we
got into our recovery and sober and clean, we decided
to go back to the streets. Yeah, and it was
for a whole different purpose. And that's something that like
I did almost very early on in my recovery, almost

(22:28):
within like a couple of months. Yeah, and people were
like whoa, whoa, whoa are you? And I think in
a way, when I did that to start doing the outreach,
it was almost kept me in check, like I don't
want to be that absolutely, I you know, because you know,
I I just hit ten years. So like when I
was in that, like Heroin wasn't in any of there.
It was all fen right, you know. And then all

(22:49):
of a sudden, you know, as I started looking at things,
I'm like, I don't want that. I don't want to
do like that. So you went back to the streets
within relatively short period of time.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Pretty much. I got to the recovery house. If I'm
being completely honest, it was because I had a crush
on Chirm and he was doing outreach and I wanted
to do it.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Wanted Yeah, of course, Oh my gosh. But you had
a crush on it. So you were the first to
make that move.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
Oh yeah, I got to the recovery house. They told
me the one big rule is you're not allowed to
fratenize with any of the men. And Sharam had just
become the men's property manager and there was one other
male resident, and I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
There you go. Yep, And Sir was on the podcast
at one point, and James Sherman for the episode you
want check that out Shirm was on and so you
had a big crush on him.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Did that crush pay off?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
I mean, I'm engaged now, I have a nice apartment,
I just got a new car, So it's working out.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
That's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. And you know what, you
did learn a lot, didn't you through the outreaches and
being first of all, you at eighteen, your life went
into chaos right away, yep. So you really never had
a chance to experience those evolving years, of those evolutionary
where you grow into a career or what you want
to do and stuff. But you really kick some ass

(24:05):
in your recovery home there and in that organization that
you're working with. I mean, it was savage. We can
say it. It's not that, you know, I'm not abound
to not saying anything, but you know, and it's okay.
People aren't going to hold that against you. They don't.
They love you even more because you know you're free.
I said that, not her.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
I also said it.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
No.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
I mean, it definitely served its purpose. And like I did,
I fell in love with doing outreach and even running
the recovery houses because again, like I could relate to people,
I've been in so many recovery houses. I know you
hated here. I know you don't want to make your
bed like same. I broke every rule that you could
possibly think of. I've received every punishment you could possibly
think of. So that did keep me going. And like

(24:44):
you said, the drug supply just wasn't the same, you know.
Like I had pretty bad wounds on my arms, but
they healed up right away. And then I would come
down here and I'm like, I do not miss this, like,
and that's probably one of the things that's kept me
in recovery this long, is just the fact that, like
it's not the same, the drugs aren't the same. I
don't want to go back.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Agreed.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
If it was real heroin, I might not be sitting
here today, Like I honestly.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Agree, totally agreed. Yeah, because I overdose five times and
I don't think one of those times was on heroin, right,
So you know, I always use that in my head,
like was that really the issue? Was it the heroin
or was it the supply? You know? You know, But
so you you did a lot of great work there,
you really did. Then you left, yes, and you did

(25:32):
what so I mean because first of all, to leave
a comfort zone in recovery, especially in your first few years, yeah,
can be detrinal to you.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
No, for sure. And even my mom was on that
page where like there was a couple months where I
was like, I don't know how much longer I can
do this, and She's like that please saved your life,
like you can't. And I'm like, all right, I get it.
I get that you're scared. I get that you've been
through a lot, but like I'm telling me right now,
my mental health can only take.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
So much more, or I'm going to start using it again.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Absolutely absolutely. And one day I just had enough and
I quit and I had no plan, and I got
a job boitressing at Chili's and I was like, I'm
just going to do outreach on my own.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
And you did start that for a brief time. Yeah,
that's right.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
I went down and I was doing outreach on my
own and Shuram was with me, and Margo's side gate
was open, and he was like, I just want to
go in and say hi to her really quick.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Did you know Margo?

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Then I didn't. I had heard of her, but I
had never met her.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
And Margot was on the show too, Margo Murphy Sunday
Love Project. You should check that one out too. She's
she's a piece of work. And I'm not saying that
in a negative, you know, because you can't. You can't
say with her, she just you know. And but so
you've met her for the first time from Sharam.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yeah, And she gave me some snacks to hand out
and she texted me and was like, I'm not trying
to be too forward, but like, if you need a job,
I can offer you something part time. And I was like, okay, sure,
Like I was just willing to do anything at that point.
And the last year was rough. I worked my ass off.
I had three jobs at one point, like running around

(27:13):
just trying to get my life together. And you know,
recently I got promoted and now I'm the director of
operations there.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Congratulations, thank you, that's amazing, you know, and you think
about it. You know, here you were just almost five
years ago, you know, a total wreck, probably on your
way to the grave. Yeah, you know, and now you're
you're you're running the show there. Yeah. And you know,
Marco has you know, Sunny Love Project, which runs Greater Goods.
Which Greater Goods is what it.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Is a food pantry that is modeled after like a
grocery store, but it is free.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
And it's right there basically a K and A. Yeah,
it's just a few feed and from it. You're right
in th vakers there every day. But this one really
pertains to the community. Yes, it's given to the community,
and it's free for the community. Yep. It's not like
they come in there with any money. They get their
play money, they get to spend the next amount of dollars.
They have their ID stuff like that, right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
You need an ID to register. They could shop once
every two weeks and they get twenty points every time
they come in.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
What you've done is really admirable. Like you were. You
were with an organization that that had some cred there,
you know, and it still does. It's got credit with people,
you know, just not me. Don't edit that at either.
But and they do good things if they're doing good
things to do.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
No. Two, my best friends still work there, and like
I love them, dear, and they.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Are doing good things, you know, to on their level.
And that's fine, you know. But you were there and
that was a comfort zone and you did really well there,
and you excelled there. You were running recovery homes, you
were overseeing things, you were running the outreaches, you were
running the show. Every time that you know, the organization
would show up somewhere. You were the face of it. Yeah,
and that was amazing. And then you sort of left,
you packed that all in and gave that all up

(28:53):
with such uncertainty. Yes, and you worked your ass off
like you start all over again.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
I really did it and it was definitely scary, especially
because the main thing I was scared about was like
that good paycheck every week, you know. And I'm like,
all right, we're going back to basics here and I'll
figure it out.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
How was it going back to work, especially at Chili's
A nightmare?

Speaker 2 (29:16):
An absolute nightmare. I hated it so much. The day
I finally got to quit, I was never more excited.
I was like, I, I'm too old for this now, But.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
You stuck it out.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
I did.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
That's that's that speaks volumes right there. Yeah, a huge
side of character. You were really looking to make a difference,
make a change. Yeah, So fast forward then there you were.
You were working part time on Margo. You had moved
in with sherm. Yep, you took that leap of faith
and moved in because you know, you're frat andized, so
you didn't break you broke the rules. What happened to
any any any punishment with that?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Oh so much punishment. I was demoted as a house manager.
Just constant back and forth, and we broke up for
a little bit. And we had moved in together previously,
definitely too soon. Everything was definitely very rushed, and I
took that time again. It's like it's getting sober is

(30:11):
like going to college for the first time, really like
and there were so many things I didn't get to do.
And you know, when me and Urn broke up, I
moved in with my best friend Liddy and got to
really have that experience of like living with a girl
and just doing whatever we wanted. And it was so
much fun. Like the day I moved out to move
back in with Shram, like I was just crying my

(30:32):
eyes out, like packing myself hysterically crying, like I don't
want to go. I woant to live with my best
friend forever. But it was so much fun and I
needed that and I needed to know, you know, sher Moore,
like how we live together, like right now we have
separate bedrooms for all our stuff because like that is
one thing we can't agree. Yeah, you know it works

(30:53):
so much better. I could decorate how I want, he
could do it. But yeah, we both just needed to
like grow up and just learn so much more. And like, yeah,
I never had bills in my name, I never had
a credit card, like all this stuff that just gets
thrown at you that you have to learn how.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
To do all at once, and and I'm glad you
said that because a lot of people don't realize that that.
You know, people are always like I had a gentlemen
the other day say to me, why do you have
them write things down in a book at the thrift store?
I said, when was the last time you think they
wrote something down when they're an active addiction? When was
the last time you think that they picked up a
pen or pencil and they wrote in cursive or printed

(31:32):
or something out And went, oh, like, we don't have
those skills. Sometimes those skill sets don't exist. So we're
learning things for the first time in our recovery.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Really, like just how to do everything, like you know,
how often I need to do my laundry, like stuff
I'm still not great at and struggle with. But it
really it's just like you get thrown into being an
adult all at once, and it's like figure it out.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
And this is your first car, first new car, my
first new car. There's a new car. Yeah, how's that
feel great? That's all. I've never had a brand new
car ever.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
It's a twenty twenty four. But that's new enough, new
enough driving down the highway knowing that there's no lights
on and nothing's going to like fly off my car
is the greatest freedom I've ever felt.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Just praying you're gonna get from k and A to
South Philly in time.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
I know that feeling, yeah, because my last car, it
was good. It got me all over the country, different conferences,
like all over the place. But the last month or
two I was carrying around a battery, jumping all over
the country.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Did you do it? Cross country drive?

Speaker 2 (32:37):
The furthest I drove was Florida and West Virginia in
that car.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I just oh, maybe I was the East Coast. Maybe
it was the East coast I saw. I followed so
many people in documentary A second, So what do you
if you're not going to meetings? Then you know you're
you know you're working all the time. What are you
doing to keep yourself on a straight and.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Narrow whatever I want? It's like the best thing ever.
I love that I go to Phillies games. That was
always my thing too. I would go to rehabit and
they you know, when I ask you a million questions
when you get there and they're like, what are your
hobbies and interests? I'm like, I don't have any. I
don't know what my favorite color is. I don't know
anything about.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Myself, like drugs and boosting.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yes, I get money to get high and then I
get high and then I start over again. And like
that's what's been so cool, just like learning what I
like to do, Like you know, I like to go
to Philly teams, I like to go out to eat,
like I just like to sit on my couch and
scroll on my phone. It's just been so great.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Experiencing all these things that you never thought you could, Yeah,
or would, I mean for the first time.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Even going on vacations and like.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
You know, yes, tell me about your vacation.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
So we went on a cruise and for my birthday
and the second day we were there, I got proposed to.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Let's see that.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yes, he did good. He did very He did very good. Yeah,
did you know this was gonna have?

Speaker 2 (34:00):
I have been harassing him probably for like the last year,
so I was hoping that something was gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
But was he nervous?

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Oh, he cried like a little baby. And it's funny
because the day of that, I was being such a bitch,
like I couldn't get my hair the right way, Like
I was just over stimulated. I was pissed off, and
I know the whole time he was probably like, do
I even want to do.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
This and you're on vacation? Yeah, who cares? Yeah, you
were just in that mode. Huh.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Did he have anybody there taking pictures or anything?

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah. So his whole thing the whole time was, we
don't have any pictures, like nice pictures of us, so
we're gonna get pictures taken when we get there. And
so he went down and talked to the photographer and
he like followed us out into the island and talk
all these pictures. And he made me like turn around
and like whip my hair back. And when I did,
Churm was on one knee hysterically cry.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Was he shaky? Yeah? Was he bright red?

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Of course?

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Sweating? He's always right, right, I know after I said
that he's always right?

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Did you cry right away?

Speaker 2 (35:01):
I did. I was just I was more like excited
that he was crying, because you know, I like when
he shows some emotion. But then it was great because
then the rest of our vacation, it was just like, Wow,
I really have everything I could possibly want.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Well, this is really a cool story though, Like here
you are. You know you you finally are getting an
opportunity to become somebody for the first time ever in
your life. Yeah, you end up in this recovery home.
They tell you no fraternizing, and I love that aspect
of it. First thing you do is just set your
sights on the house immediately, immediately, And here you are. Now,

(35:38):
how many years later, m engaged to be married, living together.
Two dogs? Now, yes, what was the second dog all about?
You just got the one? I was like, oh, but
the second one.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
So we got the one and he's a little morky
and he has severe separation anxiety, which is probably my
fault because I like, don't let him touch the ground.
It's just like, you know, wherever I'm going, you're going.
And then my friend Brittany, who actually when I got
arrested and I had a dog with me, she came

(36:09):
and picked that dog up and spent the next four
years with it until it passed away. So she found
a dog on the street and she was like, I
guess I owe you a dog. Huh.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
So, so the dog that you got to rest it with,
is this the the dog with the broken leg?

Speaker 2 (36:26):
No? No, no, no, no, no, A lot of dogs, a
lot at.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Go down there.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
All of a sudden, I just went, yeah, no, she
was just the dog I found in Kensington, and I
you know, they locked me and her up. I was
in a holding cell with this dog.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
And they took the dog. They let you take the dog, though.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
I was, yeah, just in the holding cell with the dog.
And you know, I'm of course in my brain, I'm like,
they're not gonna take me to jail if I have
a dog with me. And they were like, you have
to call somebody or like, she's going to the pound.
And my friend Brittany came and got her and kept
her and gave her like the most amazing life ever.
And so yeah, so she found a dog on the

(37:06):
streets and she posted on Facebook and I was like,
if nobody wants it, I will take that. She was like, yeah,
I owe you a dog, and we went and picked
her up. So now we have two dogs and two
cats and a two bedroom apartment and there's just a.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Lot of second bedroom. She's like an old married couple already. No, really,
this is perfect. You didn't have to worry about walking
down the aisle, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
And he's such a grumpy old man and on like
such a routine too, of like bedtime, when to wake up,
like everything.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
So, yeah, he has become an old man real quick,
hasn't he so quick? Oh? My gosh, she used to
be this smiling, joy old guy. I'm telling your pen
sucked it.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
At her a lot of things.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, So if you had a chance to go back
to the seventeen year old Melanie, what would you tell her?
What would you say to her?

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I don't know, because like, initially I want to be like,
you know, just stay in school, don't talk to a
boy ever, Like, just focus on yourself and figure stuff out.
But at the same time, I just wanted to be
like you'll figure it out, you know, like I really
want to change anything, because I really think it's made
me who I am. And like, you know, there's so

(38:19):
much conflict and about harm reduction as a whole, and
like I agree with some of it, right, Like two
things can be true at the same time. I think
that it can be enabling. I think that it can
be helping people. I think the biggest focus of it
for me personally is the connection aspect, because I've said

(38:40):
it a thousand times, Like I don't know how people
get sober without their families behind them. And I know
so many people down here that don't. And if I
could be that for somebody, just like, hey, I believe
in you. You know, if you want to go to rehab,
call me. I'll bring in whatever you need. Like we'll
try this fifty times, Like don't give up on yourself,
Like sometimes that is all people need.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Absolutely, And as you're saying all that, it's everything I
feel exactly. We feel the same way. You know, you
said it several times as we sat here talking today.
You talked about connections. And I think that's why some
people don't realize is that when you are in your
acti addiction and you are lost out there, it's because
there are no connections, no true connections, right unless you
had something like Brittany, which is amazing to keep that connection. Yeah,
you know, that's very awesome to have something like that still,

(39:23):
but connections. Have you ever seen the Johan Harry Ted talk? No,
you need to watch it. Then. Johan Harry did a
Ted talk called everything you know about addiction is wrong
or the opposite of addiction is not recovery, and he
talks about connections yeah, and it's really important. It's something
I think you would really like and I'd love to
hear you say that. And are these something you didn't
have before you got your active addiction.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
I think I always had connections, like my family's super closed,
Like I always had friends growing up. I think I
didn't have that connection with myself, Like I just wanted
to be liked so badly. I was like so afraid
to speak my mind or say what I liked or
say what I didn't like. Like I just wanted to
kind of blend into the background and like just be
a part of something.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Self esteem, yes, self worth wasn't there. Never get I
get that too. Yeah, I understand that. How do you
like yourself? Now?

Speaker 2 (40:12):
I'm working on it. I'm still not, you know, there
all the way, But I definitely like I'm content at
least like emotionally, Like I know I'm a good person,
Like I don't care what other people have to say
about me in that aspect, Like I know that the
people I have in my life are there for all
the right reasons and are like some of the best
people in the world, Like I don't have to do

(40:32):
the whole fake nicest like associate thing anymore. If you
post something I don't like on Facebook, you're deleted by
forget you ever existed. Like I just I don't care.
I used to think like everybody has to like me,
and I have to be nice to everybody and friends
with everybody. I don't, No way, I don't have to
be mean, but I don't have to acknowledge people that

(40:52):
I just genuinely don't care about.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
I thought that same way, and when I got into recovery,
I was like, you know what, and the end all
one hap is myself anyway, So I don't need to
really bow down or catail or be worried about. You know,
it's nice to own it, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
It really is.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
It's nice to own yourself. It's nice to be able
to take that and like and really work it, because
people don't get that opportunity when they're an active addiction,
when you're using and you're out there and you're you know,
you're not an out or you're you're you know, passed out,
or whatever the case may be. It doesn't matter right,
you know, but once you had that opportunity to really
own it, you either have to or you might as

(41:30):
well just give it up.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Yeah, because so for so long I was just like,
especially when I got into recovery this time, I was like,
all right, I have to do everything different. All these
people that I think I hate for whatever reason, I'm
going to be friends with them. I'm going to give
them a chance. And then I'll give them a chance
and be like, oh that is why I hated them.
They do suck, and like, you know, I don't have
to let you into my life.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
But that's really cool that you were willing to give
them a chance, thinking that maybe yeah, you know, but
then you realize, you know, no, it really was them.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Yeah. Nine, at the time of times, I am the problem,
Like I will admit that, but yeah, like some people
just you know, everybody's not for everybody.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
You're close with your mom, it seems I am you
tight with her?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
I really really am.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Did this strengthen even more so like when you got
into recovery or yeah?

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Absolutely? I think now I'm like somebody that she can
actually depend on. She moved to Florida a year ago,
which I was devastated about, right, like, and I don't
want to be an orphan. I can't believe you're doing
this to me, but meeting selfish like this was the
first time she felt comfortable enough to leave the state

(42:35):
and go start her life's over somewhere and not worrying
about getting a phone call that like I'm dead, I'm
in the hospital, I'm in jail, whatever it is. Like,
you know, she has that freedom to go. And my
brother just became a police officer in Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
That's why I saw that post that congratulations to him.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
Complete opposites. But you know, so now it's I still
have him here, and it's like she can call me
be like can you check on your brother? Or if
he is an issue, he knows he can come stay
at my house. Whatever it is. So it's like I
actually get to be somebody my family can depend on.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
That's awesome. It's a good feeling, it really is. It's
a real good feeling. And plus you realize that you
gave your mam a gift. Yeah, you gave her the
gift of freedom. Yes, And you probably never realized that
she felt tied down all those years, right, you know,
because our selfishness, woman, our addiction. Yeah, of course, you know,
it's all about us. Yeah, you know, so you've come
a long way now and I didn't know. I don't

(43:29):
know any of this stuff. You never had this, and
this is really just like spinning my head here. I
really didn't know you spent time in jail like that.
You know, you know, re entry from that is even
four months, you know four days is difficult for people. Yeah,
you know, do you so you get back though, you
still get back.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
I do. And I love working for Margo at Sunday
Love because once she's like one of the kindest people
I've ever met in my life, Like it amazes me.
There's no ego involved, there's no and I just like,
you know, obviously not what I'm used to. So it's
just like so refreshing to work there, and then to

(44:06):
work with the whole food insecurity thing. Like nobody hates
giving people food, right, I don't. I don't have to
defend or non profit because it's like, yes, everybody does
deserve to eat. And it's just so great to like
have the community behind you. And then also too, like
I destroyed Kensington for so long, it's nice to be

(44:27):
able to do something for the residents that live there,
you know, instead of just worrying about like my people
and like the people that use drugs, like I can
worry about everybody that lives there.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
I understand that. Told that's why I took Philly Unknown
in a different direction. After a while, I was like,
you know what, I destroyed these streets. Yep, I ran
these you know, monk, I was the person getting chased
away from houses. So I have that whole like like
theory that I'm going off over the whole slothering off.
And now they know there's life beyond the sidewalks, yeah,
you know, and people don't know that. And that's you know,
with the garden and stuff we're doing. I mean, it's

(44:57):
great that what they're doing on the streets, every organization
out there handing out, you know, whatever they're doing is
handing out. It's great, it's helping. But when you're able
to sit back and do for the community on a
different level, it really opens your eyes a lot differently
because now you're seeing the effect, yes, of what one causes,
and you know, it's sad.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
It really is. And I used to, you know, be
one of those people that mentality like if you don't
like it, just like move, you know what I mean, Like,
why would you want to live in Kensington? But it's
like some of these people have no choice, have lived
their whole lives like it's not their fault that, you know,
we decided to take it over and be like this
is good, perfect spot to set up shop.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
I had that conversation with people all the time. They're
always like, well, if they don't like it, they should
just move. Where do you want them to go? Right?
For some of them, that's as good as it's going
to get. That's all they have. It's all they know. Well,
they should eduled. How do you know they're not working?
How do you know that in this economy? Right, they're
only working for ten dollars twelve dollars an hour, and
that's what you know. And it's sad. It's sad people

(45:58):
don't recognize that and don't realize that. Now that you
are hands on in one of the most impoverished neighborhoods,
not just in Pennsylvania but in the country, how's that
changed you as a person.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
So, I mean, if anything, I think it's made me
a little harder on the unhoused community, just because from
doing outreach for so long. It's just like, you know,
people have come accustomed to, like, Okay, what do you
have to give me right, And it's like, why don't

(46:32):
you do something for somebody else, Like if you want
to sit here all day, like why don't you make
sure you pick up your trash and get it off
the sidewalk before little kids come in here. And then
the community like they're just so don't get me wrong,
there's customers that want to take advantage and like you know,
there's always going to be a couple bad ones in there,
but like they're just so grateful. And we just opened

(46:55):
on Saturdays for the month of November just because everything
that's going on with Snap and like people that are
coming in, Like I work during the week, I've never
been able to come here like this is amazing what
you guys are doing, Like just to feel appreciated. You know,
that's why we all help people. It feels good. Nobody's
just doing it because like it feels good to actually
help someone.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Yeah, I mean for me, that was my recovery. That
was how I focused on it, by going out there
and doing the things on the streets and everything, and
you know, but it was when I had that epiphany
of the day I was handing a compassion bag to
something in the street and there was a grandfather standing
in a doorway with his two grandchildren that were just

(47:38):
staring at me that I looked in my back and
I had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I walked
over and he was like no, I'm like please, Yeah,
And when I saw the kids' faces light up, I thought,
I need to make a change. Yeah, I need to
do something. I had already been five years on the
streets doing the outreach and I love doing it and
I love those connections. But then at that point in time,
there was now also twenty more organizations, and I'm thinking

(48:01):
to myself, well, how good am I doing it if
they're all doing the same thing, right, And who am
I really helping? And who am I hurting? And I
looked at it looking I'm hurting the community because they're
not getting anything out of this.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
And that's my other like negative side to harm reduction too,
is I feel like everyone's trying to reinvent the wheel, right,
essentially everybody's doing the same thing, Like why doesn't everybody
just come together and be like, you know what, I'll
take Mondays, you take Tuesdays, you take Wednesdays, But like
it just it's so hostile. Like I was saying to
Shirm the other day, I'm like, I wonder if animal

(48:33):
shelters fight like this, you know what I mean, Like
they don't work together. Yes, Like I just I think
people lose sight of like what the actual mission is.
And I think because yeah, it's ego and harm reduction
is such a gray area too that I don't think
anybody knows what the mission is, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
And it's evolved, Yeah, harm reduction has evolved. I mean
if you would have mentioned harm reduction four years ago,
five years years ago, handing somebody paraphernalia would never have
been thought of, right, you know, in a harm reduction
that was only ever since you know, the pandemic hit
and a lot of airborne you know, infectious diseases hit.
That has happened. But also people tend to forget that
what you're doing at Greater Goods, you know, for Sunny

(49:15):
Love Project, that's harm reduction. Yeah, that's harm reduction for
the community because they're hurting just as badly. It's I
had that same problem. I'm like, why can't we get
on the same page. We tried it one time, we
tried we all really tried, and it just didn't go.
And it's a shame because I didn't want to be
out there on a Wednesday night because so and so
was out there. But then I didn't want to be

(49:36):
out on a Thursday night because so and so is
out there. Yeah, so here we are. Now we're flooding
the streets and it's not making sense.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
It's not And like the other thing, too, is again
because like nobody agreed, like, so what is is the
mission to get these people into treatment? But then it's like,
oh no, we just love everybody for whatever they're doing.
I'm like, that's great. But where I had the moral
dilemma as a person in recovery. I can't look at
you living on the streets, know when you're using drugs
and lie to you and tell you that this is okay,

(50:03):
and when I know there's a better way of life,
Like I know it's you know, frowned upon to push
rehab or anything on people, but like just that connection
of like I used to be there, especially when it's
somebody that knows me from out there and they're like,
oh my god, you don't even look the same, Like
I can't believe you got sober like that is impactful
for me.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
How long were you out in the streets.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
I was never like, you know, a full blown park dweller.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
No, you were like me. You were like it was
easier to use because it was right there exactly.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah, So I would do my stints of you know,
house shopping under Emerald.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
Street for a little bit wherever on the streets.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Yeah, the wind would take me, but it was it
was on and off the whole time, because there would
always be like a recovery house for a month, this
person's house for a month. Back outside, like it.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Was always nice to get cleaning the wintertime, yeah, because
it was warm.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
But I love the fact that you have really embraced
the attitude of meeting the community where they're at now, Yeah,
because that's such an important thing. My whole thing is
if we keep meeting people where they're at and leaving
them there, we're not doing a service, right. You need
to start bringing people with us. Yeah, And if we
don't do that, then we need to start changing what
we're doing and how we're doing it. And you really

(51:15):
now have encompassed all that. I'm loving all of this.
This is so awesome. This is so amazing, I mean
greater goods. You're doing great things there. You know, you
have you know, almost five years, you know, which at
one point thinking five hours was a long time for yourself.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Yeah, no, way, no, what crazy?

Speaker 1 (51:33):
It's crazy. You know, you gave your mother a gift
that she could go and enjoy her life, and you
could go and enjoy your life down there with her
when you want. Yeah, is it a good part of furda?

Speaker 2 (51:42):
No, it's not. That's what I's She also scammed me
on that because the whole time I thought she was
going to like Fort Lauderdale or something, and she's in Jacksonville. Yeah,
she's like two hours outside of Jacksonville. So you can't
even fly directly there. You got to fly to Jacksonville
and then drive two hours to the middle of nowhere.
You can't thwart ash there. There's nothing comes up as
an option.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Really.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Yeah, she's in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
Does she like it?

Speaker 2 (52:05):
She loves it?

Speaker 1 (52:05):
I bet? Yeah, I bet. When I used to live
in Florida, that middle of nowhere was you had to
go across the state and there was like a big
prison right in the middle of it. So weird and
I just always remember, don't break down, don't break down
so bad. But you know, just to hear your story,
to see where you were, to hear everything you've been through.
That boyfriend back at eighteen gone, never heard from again,

(52:29):
who knows? Good for you? Yeah, for you? And you
know that you know some people of course you know
hear things and know where they're at. Yeah, so you
really have moved on. Yeah, so that's a good thing.
So you talk about making those connections. And you know,
I always say that there's never enough time in one
hour to impact things. If there's somebody out there that's
still struggling, because there's so many of them, what would

(52:50):
you tell them?

Speaker 2 (52:51):
You can always go back to it, right, But you
don't know how many more opportunities you're going to have
to try. And that's I made a deal with myself.
If my life doesn't get better and I days, I
can go right back to Kensington and my life got better.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
That's a heck of a deal. That's a really heck
of deal. Do you think if your life didn't get better,
you woud have done that?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Probably because I had so many times before, but I
had never given myself the full chance to like let
it get better.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
Do you think being in jail those four months really
changed a lot of you?

Speaker 2 (53:23):
I really do. There were so many girls I would
see get released and come back in a month later,
and it would make me sick to my stomach, like,
you had the opportunity to get out of here, how
could you let yourself come back in here? And I
was like, that is not going to be me. I
can not go through this again.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
I love all this, I love hearing all this. It's
just you truly are a success story.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
You know, this my work in progress.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
We're all work in progress. Now, we're all works in progress,
you know. But you're a success story regardless of what
happens from the You're a success story from what you know.
Don't sell yourself short, you know, And I know that
you're a role model to a lot of people because
I know that, you know there are people out there
look up to you. I have some people my workforce
program that look up to you. Love you, you know.

(54:06):
Every time I said your name, they're like, oh, we
know you're talking to you know I'm talking about But
you do some really good things. So you make those
connections and you do that for people, and I'm just
I don't know. I'm just so happy that you and
sure have found that that that that piece at this
point in time, which is a really good thing. You
deserve it. Thank you, you really do. And maybe I'll

(54:26):
have the two of you come back one day together.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
You know, a lot of arguing.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
I'd be like, you'll be like couples counselors. I love it.
I'll just you know, sit back and say a word.
So but thank you so much for showing up today.
Thanks for having Oh my gosh, thanks for sharing your story.
Becoming vulnerable is one of the most important things that
we could do to be able to share our stories.
So I appreciate you being that voice. I remember everybody
else if you want to ever get some help and

(54:50):
you don't know where to turn reach out, there is
help out there. Melanie's always around Melanie Bettist. She is
down at Greater Goods, which is like k and as
part of the Sunday Love Project director of Operations. She
has come a long way with that doing some great things.
Mel Thanks for showing up today, Thanks for being a voice.
And everybody else out there remember whatever you stand for,
be a voice. This is Brick Carpenter and Usulu Media

(55:11):
have a great rest of your name.