15 - Hide and Seek, Fyodor Sologub.

15 - Hide and Seek, Fyodor Sologub.  
In this collection of Russian stories, editor and compiler Thomas Seltzer selects from a range of the best examples of 19th and early 20th century Russian literature. As a survey of famous authors at the height of the powers, as well as some writers who have been unjustly neglected, this anthology is indispensable.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Chapter fifteen of Best Russian Short Stories. This is a
LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Anya Best Russian Short Stories, edited and compiled
by Thomas Seltzer. Chapter fifteen, Hide and Seek by Fudder Suligub,

(00:27):
Part one. Everything in La Luchka's nursery was bright, pretty,
and cheerful. Laluchka's sweet voice charmed her mother. Laluchka was
a delightful child. There was no other such child. There
never had been, and there never would be. Laluchka's mother,
Seraphima Alexandrovna, was sure of that. Lalicha's eyes were dark

(00:49):
and large, her cheeks were rosy, her lips were made
for kisses and for laughter. But it was not these
charms in La Luchka. They gave her mother the keenest joy.
Laluchka was her mother's only child. That was why every
movement of La Luchka's bewitched her mother. It was great
bliss to hold L'luchka on her knees and to fondle her,
to feel a little girl in her arms, a thing

(01:10):
as lively and as bright as a little bird. To
tell the truth, Sarafima Alexandrovna felt happy only in the nursery.
She felt cold with her husband. Perhaps it was because
he himself loved the cold. He loved to drink cold
water and to breathe cold air. He was always fresh
and cool, with a frigid smile, and wherever he passed,

(01:31):
cold currents seemed to move in the air. The Neslytyevs
Sergey Madostovitch and Sarafima Alexandrovna had married without love or calculation,
because it was the exception thing. He was a young
man of thirty five and she a young woman of
twenty five. Both were of the same circle and well
brought up. He was expected to take a wife, and

(01:51):
the time had come for her to take a husband.
It even seemed to at Sarafima Alexandrovna that she was
in love with her future husband, and this made her happy.
He looked handsome and well bred, His intelligent gray eyes
always preserved a dignified expression, and he fulfilled his obligations
of a fiancee with irreproachable gentleness. The bride was also

(02:12):
good looking. She was a tall, dark eyed, dark haired girl,
somewhat timid but very tactful. He was not after her dowry,
though it pleased him to know that she had something.
He had connections, and his wife came of good influential people.
This might, at the proper opportunity, prove useful, always irreproachable,
and tactful. Nestlytyev got on in his position, not so

(02:34):
fast that any one should envy him, nor yet so
slow that he should envy any one else. Everything came
in the proper measure and at the proper time. After
their marriage, there was nothing in the manner of sergeym
Maudustovitch to suggest anything wrong to his wife. Later, however,
when his wife was about to have a child, sergeim
Maustovitch established connections elsewhere of a light and temporary nature.

(02:58):
Seraphima alexandr Drovna found this out, and, to her own astonishment,
was not particularly hurt. She awaited her infant with a
restless anticipation that swallowed every other feeling. A little girl
was born, Saraffima Alexandrovna gave herself up to her. At
the beginning. She used to tell her husband with rapture
of all the joyous details of Ilechka's existence. But she

(03:22):
soon found that he listened to her without the slightest
interest and only from the habit of politeness. Seraphima Alexandrovna
drifted farther and farther away from him. She loved her
little girl with the ungratified passion that other women deceived
in their husbands show their chance young lovers. Mamochka, let's
play priyatky, cried Lolechka, pronouncing the R like the L,

(03:46):
so that the words sounded pleatky. This charming inability to
speak always made Saraphima Alexandrovna's smile with tender rapture. Luleuchka
then ran away, stamping with her plump little legs with
the carpets and hid herself behind the curtains near her bed.
Tueye twemmuchka, she cried out in her sweet, laughing voice

(04:08):
as she looked out with a single roguish eye. Where's
my baby girl, the mother asked as she looked for Laluchka,
and may believe that she did not see her, and
Laluchka poured out her rippling laughter in her hiding space.
Then she came out a little farther, and her mother,
as though she had only just caught sight of her,
seized her by her little shoulders and exclaimed joyously, here

(04:31):
she is, my la Luchka. Laluchka laughed long and merrily,
her head close to her mother's knees, and all of
her cuddled up between her mother's white hands. Her mother's
eyes glowed with passionate emotion. Now, Mamuchka, you hide, said Luluchka,
and she ceased laughing. Her mother went to hide. L'luchka

(04:52):
turned away as though not to see, but watched her
mmuchka stealthily all the time. Mamma hid behind the cupboard
and exclaimed, twee twee, baby girl. Laaluchka ran round the
room and looked into all the corners, making believe, as
her mother had done before, that she was seeking that
she really knew all the time where her Mamochka was standing.

(05:13):
Where's Mama Moochka, asked La Leechka. She's not here, and
she's not there, she kept on repeating as she ran
from corner to corner. Her mother stood with suppressed breathing,
her head pressed against the wall, her hair somewhat disarranged.
A smile of absolute bliss played on her red lips.
The nurse Vidocia, a good natured and fine looking, if

(05:36):
somewhat stupid woman, smiled as she looked at her mistress
with her characteristic expression, which seemed to say that it
was not for her to object to gentlewoman's caprices. She
thought to herself, the mother is like a little child herself.
Look how excited she is. Luleuchka was getting near her
mother's corner. Her mother was growing more absorbed every moment

(05:58):
by her interest in the game. Her heart beat with short,
quick strokes, and she pressed even closer to the wall,
disarranging her hair still more. Laeleuchka suddenly glanced toward her
mother's corner and screamed, with joy, I've found ew. She
cried out loudly and joyously, mispronouncing her words in a
way that again made her mother happy. She pulled her

(06:18):
mother by her hands to the middle of the room.
They were merry, and they laughed, and Laulutchka again hid
her head against her mother's knees and went on lisping
and lisping without end her sweet little words so fascinating
yet so awkward. Sergey Ustovitch was coming at this moment
toward the nursery through the half closed doors. He heard

(06:39):
the laughter, the joyous outcries, the sound of romping. He
entered the nursery smiling his genial cold smile. He was
irreproachably dressed, and he looked fresh and erect, and he
spread round him in an atmosphere of cleanliness, freshness, and coldness.
He entered in the midst of the lively game, and
he confused them all by his radiant coldness. Even Rudosia

(07:00):
felt abashed, now for her mistress, now for herself. Sarafima
Alexandrovna at once became calm and apparently cold. This mood
communicated itself to the little girl. He ceased to laugh,
but looked instead silently and intently at her father. Sergey
Modostovitch gave a swift glance round the room. He liked

(07:21):
coming here, where everything was beautifully arranged. This was done
by Saraphima Alexandrovna, who wished to surround her little girl
from her very infancy only with the loveliest things. Sarafima
Alexandrovna dressed herself tastefully. This too, she did for Laulutshka,
with the same end in view. One thing Sergeymodostovitch had

(07:43):
not become reconciled to and this was his wife's almost
continuous presence in the nursery. It's just as I thought,
I knew that i'd find you here, he said, with
a derisive and condescending smile. They left the nursery together.
As he followed his wife through the door, Sergey Madostovitch said,
rather indifferently in an incidental way, laying no stress on

(08:05):
his words. Don't you think that it would be well
for the little girl if she were sometimes without your company?
Merely you see that the child should feel its own individuality,
he exclaimed, in answer to Serafima Alexandrovna's puzzled glance. She's
still so little, said Seraphema Alexandrovna. In any case, this

(08:25):
has but my humble opinion. I don't insist it's your
kingdom here. I'll think it over, his wife answered, smiling
as he did, coldly but genially. Then they began to
talk of something else. Part two. Nurse Fadosia, sitting in
the kitchen that evening was telling the silent housemaid Darya

(08:48):
and the talkative old cook Agathya, about the young lady
of the house and how the child loved to play
priyatki with her mother. She hides her little face and
cries twee, twee, and the mistress herself is like a
little one, added Fidosia, smiling. Agathia listened and shook her
head ominously, while her face became grave and reproachful. That

(09:12):
the mistress does it, well, that's one thing, But that
the young lady does it that's bad. Why, asked Fidosia,
with curiosity. This expression of curiosity gave her face the
look of a wooden, roughly painted doll. Yes, that's bad,
repeated Agathia, with conviction. Terribly bad, well, said Fidosia, the

(09:33):
ludicrous expression of curiosity on her face becoming more emphatic.
She'll hide and hide and hide away, said Agathia in
a mysterious whisper, as she looked cautiously toward the door.
What are you saying, exclaimed Fidosia, frightened. It's the truth
I'm saying. Remember my words. Agathia went on with the
same assurance and secrecy it's the sherest sign. The old

(09:58):
woman had invented this sign quite suddenly herself, and she
was evidently very proud of it. Part three. Laluchka was
asleep and Saraphima Alexandrovna was sitting in her own room,
thinking with joy and tenderness of Luluchka. Lalouchka was in
her thoughts, first a sweet tiny girl, then a sweet

(10:20):
big girl, then again delightful little girl, and so on,
until in the end she remained Mamma's little L'luchka. Sarafima
Alexandrovna did not even notice that Fidosia came up to
her and paused before her. Fvidosya had a worried, frightened look, Madam, Madam,
she said quietly in a trembling voice. Saraphima Alexandrovna gave

(10:42):
a start. Vedosya's face made her anxious. What is it, Fidosia,
She asked, with great concern, Is there anything wrong with Luluchka. No, Madam,
said Fidosia. She gesticulated with her hands to reassure her
mistress and to make her sit down. Luluchka's asleep. Make
God be with her only I'd like to say something.

(11:02):
You see, Laaloshka is always hiding herself. That is not good.
Vidosia looked at her mistress with fixed eyes, which had
grown round from fright. Why not good, asked Sarafima Alexandrovna,
with vexation, succumbing involuntarily to vague fears. I can't tell
you how bad it is, said Fidosia, and her face

(11:24):
expressed the most decided confidence. Please speak in a sensible way,
observed Sarafyma Alexandrovna dryly. I understand nothing of what you
are saying. You see, madam, it's a kind of omen,
explains Vidosia abruptly, in a shamefaced way. Nonsense, said Sarafema Alexandrovna.

(11:46):
She did not wish to hear any further as to
the sort of omen it was and what it foreboded,
But somehow a sense of fear and of sadness crept
into her mood. And it was humiliating to fear that
an absurd tale should disturb her beloved fancies and should
agitate her so deeply. Of course, I know that gentlefolk
don't believe in omens, but it's a bad omen, Madam.

(12:09):
Fidosia went on in a doleful voice. The young lady
will hide and hide. Suddenly she burst into tears, sobbing
out loudly. She'll hide and hide and hide away, angelic
little soul in a damp little grave, she continued, as
she wiped her tears with an her apron and blew
her nose. Who told you all this, asked Sarafima Alexandrovna

(12:32):
in an austere low voice. Agatya says so, Madam answered Fidosia,
it's she that knows knows, exclaimed Sarafema Alexandrovna in irritation,
as though she wished to protect herself somehow from this
sudden anxiety. What nonsense. Please don't come to me with
such notions in the future. Now you may go. Fidosia, dejected,

(12:56):
her feelings hurt left her mistress. What nonsense. As though
Luluchhka could die, thought Sarafima Alexandrovna to herself, trying to
conquer the feeling of coldness and fear which took possession
of her. Thought of the possible death of La Luchka,
Sarapima Alexandrovna, upon reflection, attributed these women's beliefs in omens

(13:20):
to ignorance. She saw clearly that there could be no
possible connection between a child's quite ordinary diversion and the
continuation of the child's life. She made a special effort
that evening to occupy her mind with other matters, but
her thoughts turned involuntarily to the fact that Laluchka loved
to hide herself. When Lauluchka was still quite small and

(13:43):
had learned to distinguish between her mother and her nurse,
she sometimes, sitting in her nurse's arms, made a sudden
roguish grimace and hid her laughing face in the nurse's shoulder.
Then she would look out with a sly glance of
late in those rare moments of the mistress's absence from
the nursery. Fidosia had again taught Laeluchka to hide, and

(14:04):
when Lauluchka's mother, on coming in, saw how lovely the
child looked when she was hiding, she herself began to
play hide and seek with her tiny daughter. Part four.
The next day, Saraphima Alexandrovna absorbed in her joyous cares
for Laluchka had forgotten Fidosia's words the day before. But

(14:26):
when she returned to the nursery after having ordered the
dinner and she heard Luluchka suddenly cried tweet twee from
under the table, a feeling of fear suddenly took hold
of her. Though she reproached herself at once for this unfounded,
superstitious dread. Nevertheless, she could not end her wholeheartedly into
the spirit of Lauluchka's favorite game, and she tried to

(14:47):
divert Luluchka's attention to something else. Laluchya was a lovely
and obedient child. She eagerly complied with her mother's new wishes.
But as she she had got into the habit of
hiding from her mother in some corner and of crying
out twee twee. So even that day she returned more

(15:08):
than once to the game. Sarafima, Alexandrovna tried desperately to
amuse L'eleuchka. This was not so easy because restless threatening
thoughts obtruded themselves constantly. Why does Laluchka keep on recalling
the twee twee? Why does she not get tired of
the same thing, of eternally closing her eyes and of

(15:28):
hiding her face. Perhaps, thought Saraphima Alexandrovna, she is not
as strongly drawn to the world as other children who
are attracted by many things. If this is so, is
it not a sign of organic weakness? Is it not
a germ of the unconscious non desire to live? Saraphima
Alexandrovna was tormented by presentiments. She felt ashamed of herself

(15:53):
for ceasing to play hide and seek with Lalachka before Fodosia.
But this game had become agonizing to her, all the
more agonizing because she had a real desire to play it,
because something drew her very strongly to hide herself from
Luluchka and to seek out the hiding child. Sarafema Alexandrovna
herself began the game once or twice, though she played

(16:14):
it with a heavy heart. She suffered as though committing
an evil deed with full consciousness. It was a sad
day for Sarafema Alexandrovna. Part five. Lauluchka was about to
fall asleep. No sooner has she climbed into her little bed,
protected by a network on all sides than her eyes

(16:37):
began to close from fatigue. Her mother covered her with
a blue blanket. Laluchka drew her sweet little hands from
under the blanket and stretched them out to embrace her mother.
Her mother bent down. Laluchka, with a tender expression on
her sleepy face, kissed her mother and let her head
fall on the pillow. As her hands hid themselves under

(16:57):
the blanket, Luluchka whispered, the hands twee twee. The mother's
heart seemed to stop. Laluchka lay there, so small, so frail,
so quiet. L Luchka smiled gently, closed her eyes and
said quietly, the eyes twee twee. Then, even more quietly,
Laluchka twee twee. With these words, she fell asleep, her

(17:22):
face pressing the pillow. She seemed so small and so
frail under the blanket that covered her. Her mother looked
at her with sad eyes. Sarafimae Alexandrovna remained standing over
Laeluchka's bed a long while, and she kept looking at
Luluchika with tenderness and fear. I'm a mother. Is it
possible that I shouldn't be able to protect her, she

(17:44):
thought as she imagined the various ills that might befall Lulochka.
She prayed long that night, but the prayer did not
relieve her sadness. Part six several days passed, Luluchka caught cold.
The fever came upon her at night. When Saraphima Alexandrovna,

(18:04):
awakened by Fidosia, came to Luluchka and saw her looking
so hot, so restless, and so tormented, she instantly recalled
the evil omen in a hopeless despair, took possession of
her from the first moments. A doctor was called and
everything was done that is usual on such occasions, but
the inevitable happened. Seraphima Alexandrovna tried to console herself with

(18:28):
the hope that Luluchka would get well and would again
laugh and play. Yet this seemed to her an unthinkable happiness,
and Lauluchka grew feebler. From hour to hour, all simulated
tranquility so as not to frighten Sarapima Alexandrovna, but their
massed faces only made her sad. Nothing made her so

(18:50):
unhappy as the reiterations of Fidosia uttered between sobs. She
hid herself and hid herself our Lallechka. But the thoughts
of Serfima Alexandrovna were confused, and she could not quite
grasp what was happening. Fever was consuming Laeluchka, and there
were times when she lost consciousness and spoken to Lurium.

(19:12):
But when she returned to herself she bore her pain
and her fatigue with gentle good nature. She smiled feebly
at her Mimochka, so that her Mamouchka should not see
how much she suffered. Three days passed, torturing like a nightmare.
Wluchka grew quite feeble. She did not know that she
was dying. She glanced at her mother with her dimmed

(19:34):
eyes and listened in a scarcely audible, hoarse voice. Twee twee, Mamuchka,
make twee twee, Mamochka. Serfima Alexandrovna hid her face behind
the curtains near Lluchka's bed. How tragic, Mimochka, cried Luluchka
in an almost inaudible voice. Luluchka's mother bent over her,

(19:57):
and Luluchka, her vision growing still more, day saw her
mother's pale, despairing face for the last time, Oh white, Mamochka, whispered,
Luluchkammochka's white face became blurred, and everything grew dark before Luluchka.
She caught the edge of the bed cover feebly with
her hands and whispered, twee, twee. Something rattled in her throat.

(20:21):
Luchka opened and again closed her rapidly paling lips and died.
Serafima Alexandrovna was in dumb despair. She left Lalotchka and
went out of the room. She met her husband Iluchka's dead,
she said in a quiet, dull voice. Sarageimaldostovitch looked anxiously

(20:43):
at her pale face. He was struck by the strange
stupor and her formerly animated handsome features. Part seven. Luluchka
was dressed, placed in a little coffin and carried into
the parlor. Sarah Fema Alexandrovna was standing by the coffin
and looking dully at her dead child. Sergeym Oustovitch went

(21:07):
to his wife and consoling her with cold, empty words.
Try to draw her away from the coffin. Serafima Alexandrovna smiled.
Go away, she said quietly, Lulotchka's playing. She'll be up
in a minute. Sima, my dear, don't agitate yourself, said Sergeymadustovitch,

(21:27):
in a whisper. You must resign yourself to your fate.
She'll be up in a minute, persisted Serafima Alexandrovna, her
eyes fixed on the dead little girl. Sergey Odostovitch looked
round him cautiously. He was afraid of the unseemly and
of the ridiculous. Sema, don't agitate yourself, he repeated, This

(21:49):
would be a miracle, and miracles do not happen in
the nineteenth century. No sooner had he said these words
than Sergey Malyustovitch felt their irrelevance to what had happened.
He was confused and annoyed. He took his wife by
the arm and cautiously led her away from the coffin.
She did not oppose him. Her face seemed tranquil, and

(22:10):
her eyes were dry. She went into the nursery and
began to walk round the room, looking into those places
where Luluchka used to hide herself. She walked all about
the room and bent now and then to look under
the table or under the bed, and kept on repeating, cheerfully,
where's my little one? Where is my Loluchka? After she
had walked round the room, once she began to make

(22:31):
her question, you Fidosia, motionless with dejected face, sat in
a corner and looked frightened at her mistress. Then she
suddenly burst out sobbing, and she wailed loudly. She hid
herself and hid herself our l Lachka O eer angelic
little soul. Sophia and Alexandrovna trembled, paused, cast a perplexed

(22:52):
look at Ferdosia, began to weep and left the nursery quietly.
Pite eight, Sergey Malyustovitch hurried the funeral. He saw that
Serafima Alexandrovna was terribly shocked by her sudden misfortune, and
as he feared for her reason, he thought she would
be more readily diverted and consoled when Laluchka was buried.

(23:16):
Next morning, Sarafema Alexandrovna dressed with particular care for Laaluchka.
When she entered the parlor, there were several people between
her and Laluchka. The priest and deacon paced up and
down the room. Clouds of blue smoke drifted in the air,
and there was a smell of incense. There was an
oppressive feeling of heaviness in Sarafima Alexandrovna's head as she

(23:38):
approached Lauluchka. Lalochka lay there still and pale, and smiled pathetically.
Serafima Alexandrovna laid her cheek upon the edge of Laluchka's
coffin and whispered, twee, twee little one. The little one
did not reply. Then there was some kind of stir,
and the confusion around Sarafima Alexandrovna strange and necessary faces

(24:01):
bent over her. Someone held her, and Laluchika was carried
away somewhere. Seraphimalelexandrovna stood up, erect sighed in a lost way,
smiled and called loudly lu Luchka. Laluchka was being carried out.
The mother threw herself after the coffin with despairing sobs,
but she was held back. She sprang behind the door

(24:23):
through which la Luchka had passed, sat down there on
the floor, and as she looked through the crevice. She
cried out, Lualuchka, twee, twee. Then she put her head
out from behind the door and began to laugh. Luluchko
was quickly carried away from her mother, and those who
carried her seemed to run rather than to walk. End

(24:44):
of hide and seek by foot or silagob