April 29, 2025 • 60 mins
What happens when a high-achieving woman chooses flow over hustle? In this powerful episode, Bri Seeley and Jenn Rodriguez dive deep into ego evolution, identity work, and how to navigate bold transformations. Get ready for a vulnerable, inspiring conversation that invites you to redefine success on your own terms.
If you are feeling trapped in hustle culture, burnt out from constant striving, or stuck between your current reality and your future vision — and you're craving ease, alignment, and true fulfillment — this episode is for you. In it, you will learn:
🎧 Tune in now and then come join our empowering community of high-achieving women at http://briseeley.com/community!
If you are feeling trapped in hustle culture, burnt out from constant striving, or stuck between your current reality and your future vision — and you're craving ease, alignment, and true fulfillment — this episode is for you. In it, you will learn:
- How to reframe your ego as an ally rather than an enemy
- The surprising truth about balancing ambition with peace
- Practical strategies for transitioning out of hustle mode without losing momentum
- How to nurture all parts of yourself — even the ones rooted in fear
- Why building a bridge to your future self matters more than burning everything down
🎧 Tune in now and then come join our empowering community of high-achieving women at http://briseeley.com/community!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The episode that you're about to hear of Big Goal
Energy is one that is near to my heart. I
get to interview someone who has become a dear, dear
friend over the last eighteen months, someone who I have
gotten to witness step into a new era in her life.
This is a woman that one hundred percent embodies the
idea of Big Goal Energy, but she's an era in
(00:22):
her life now where it's not defining her, it's not
her identity. And also she's not doing it with hustle.
She's done it with hustle in the past, but she
has made a conscious choice to do it through more
of an aligned flow. This time we unpack some brilliant
concepts around fear and scarcity, around parts, work around how
(00:45):
to really step into a new reality when your old
reality is staring you in the face every single day.
Thank you for joining me for this incredibly special episode
of Big Goal Energy. I hope you enjoy it. Make
sure that you are so described and make sure you
come and join us on the Big Goal Energy app
by visiting bre sealy dot com slash community. You were
(01:08):
never meant for a small life. You have bold ideas,
audacious dreams and visions that keep you up at night.
But the truth is, big goals don't come with step
by step instructions, and success doesn't come from doing more.
It comes from becoming more. Welcome to Big Goal Energy
a podcast for high achieving women who are done shrinking, striving,
(01:29):
and second guessing and are ready to defy reality in
pursuit of the life they actually want. I'm your hostess,
free Sealy, goal Architect, subconscious strategist, and your permission slip
to want what you want. Join me as we go
beyond the surface level success to explore the mindset, identity,
and inner work required to bring your biggest, most delulu
(01:52):
goals to life. This is your space to be seen,
to be expanded, and to remember that you are not
alone on this journey. Let's get into it. Hey everyone,
Brie seely here. I am just thrilled at this interview
that I'm about to do today. As y'all know, I
don't really do interviews on this podcast, but the woman
(02:12):
that I'm about to speak to is very near and
dear to my heart, and her story to me is
like the epitome of Big Goal Energy, and so I
couldn't not bring all of her to you so first
and foremost, big goal energy ers. I'm still playing with
a name for all of us. I'm still playing with it,
but please help me. Welcome the incredible Jhen Rodriguez from
(02:34):
the Evolution of Her Woo.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yes, I.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Hear it, love it. Well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Hello, nice sister, how are you this morning?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Good, nice and quiet morning. I've got my window open,
which is a lovely, very nice change from where we've been. Yes,
and got my cappuccino in hand, and just you know,
feeling good.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yes, I do my first am walk. The sun was
coming up. I got out this morning and walked and
it was so phenomenonal. My winter is my gryptonite. I
can I'm so excited for spring.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It's happening. As I was walking back to the shed
this morning with my cappuccino in hand, I stopped. We
planted two trees like about a year ago ish. They're
starting to just get like the teeniest, tiniest like little
buds on them, and so I was like stopping and
just admiring all the teeny tiny amounts of like little
new growth that's coming and feels very apropos And I
(03:31):
feel like I think you're in a similar spot. As
like springtime within ourselves as well, that there are new
things emerging. You know, we're in a book club together.
We've been talking about for the last month that it's
like time to pick out the seeds we're planting and
the now we're into the like seed planting time and
the sprouting and the like. Yeah, it's good time of year.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yes, I love it. I'm planning a garden just so
you know, I'm gonna get it all together. I'm going
to start inside and move. So that's my goal. That's
my artist state this week is to go get some dirt,
get some pots, and start planning my seed.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So oh that's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, well, let's.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Start give us an overview of like who is Jen Rodriguez?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Like who? All right, who is?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Men will rewind a little bit and like track how
you got to this point? Okay, who is Jen?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm gonna work very hard not to list just the roles.
But I am a human healing chosen to be on
this journey, collaborating with the universe each and every day,
trusting the process and surrendering, leaning into the magic of
who I am and the magic of this whole vessel
and energy and just learning to live life a different
(04:49):
way as I evolve and as I grow professionally. I'm
a licensed trauma therapist. I've retired, and now I am
figuring out how to bring the last twenty years of
my professional career into one cohesive brand. I am a
sexy wife and a present mother. I'm a grandmother learning
(05:09):
how to do that role. And I am I'm just
a woman that is here to rebel against every fucking rule,
every box, every perception of me and truly step into
my strength and my power and my femininity. So that's me,
So good.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So good. So let's rewind then, So we're currently filming.
That's March eleven, twenty twenty five. Tell me about the
gen from two years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Oh okay, the jam from twenty twenty three. March of
twenty twenty three would have been before I met you,
because I met you in November or somewhere around fill
of twenty twenty three. To me at that time was
all over the place, like if I could just say it'sha,
like all over the fucking place. I had been getting
these visions that life was going to be different, life
(05:57):
was changing, and it was just a lot coming at me.
All at once, because it was changing my personal life
and my professional life. But the visions were showing me
how even though all of these changes were massive, they
were all aligning and going to the same place, and
there would be cohesion at some point on the journey.
I had been hustling working since I got my first
(06:18):
job at fourteen. The grind and the hustle of being
a professional and being superior and having letters behind your
name and having all of the accolades were something that
I pursued out of fear and out of survival. And
so I was coming out of that season in my
life where I no longer needed to work in that way.
I had achieved enough, I had earned enough, and I
(06:38):
valued where I was. But I was also being elevated
to that next level, something that the universe chose for me.
I couldn't choose it for myself, and so I was
just really searching. I knew that I was being led somewhere,
but I didn't really know how to get there. All
I knew was the hustle. All I knew was the grind.
And then I found you and your community and the
(07:00):
community that I'm a part of now, and that was
the first space I had ever been in where I
heard people communicating and talking about rest and prioritizing and
managing your time and not hustling until you're exhausted and
you're literally dead, because that's how I felt in many
of those seasons, Like externally, I produced a lot of
(07:22):
great things, but internally I didn't feel what I wanted
to feel. And so when I met you, I was
at a season where I could really look at my
life and say I'm happy, Like I have accomplished what
I wanted to accomplish. All the things I committed to
myself that I would not become I didn't become. I
have a beautiful marriage, I have a beautiful family. Like
if not now, then when, Like, if I don't take
(07:44):
that big risk now and do the thing that I
don't think is possible, will I ever do it? And
then here you came into my life, and you shed
some light in a lot of different areas that were
perfect timing for me.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Sorry, not sorry, just kidding. There were some really, really
really interesting things that you said in there. I want
to unpack some of them. I'm taking notes so that
my squirrel brain doesn't forget. So let's start with this one.
So you were being gifted these visions and these visions
that looked very different than the world that you were
(08:17):
currently living in. Inside of you, is this like knowing
these seeds, this opportunity, these visions, and then outside of
you you're looking at this world where you're hustling, you
are working, you know, trading time for money in your
therapy business. Again, you said you have all the letters
behind your name, like all these things. How did you
(08:37):
begin to rectify these two experiences? Because this is something
I get a lot from people as like, well, I
know there's more available to me, but the world around
me is showing me that like I'm not there yet
or people are always waiting for the external factors to
show them that it's time to take the step. And
like you said, you knew even though those external factors
(08:59):
weren't there, this was the time to take the risk.
So how did you balance the inner world not matching
the external reality?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, that's a great question. So first and foremost, just disclaimer,
because I don't want to give anybody this ideal perspective,
But for me, my internal world has always that's a
superpower for me being able to be in this body
and be in an experience. In the experience, I can
look at that experience and say, this is not my future,
(09:30):
this is just where I am, and that's who I've
always been. I died that as a kid. I looked
around me. My external world was nowhere near what was
I was being led towards. So it's almost a superpower
for me. So I want to be honest with that.
That's just a part of who I am. But in
this situation, it was for me it was more of
resistance of letting go of an identity and a reality
(09:54):
that I had come so attached to. That was the
bigger struggle for me. You know, what do you mean
going to retire from therapy? And what do you mean
I'm going to be a coach?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Like what do you mean.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I'm going to be a homeschooling mom? Like I didn't
even want to be a mother for so many years.
So there was just a lot of these things where
it was going against who I thought I was more
than anything else. And the resistance for me was letting
go of that more so than it was embracing something
that I couldn't tangibly see. The not being able to
(10:26):
tangibly see it is like go for me, that's ammunition
for me, that's motivation for me. I like those kind
of challenges, but it was you're gonna strip me of
everything that I have come to value in myself and
the things that I have come to know of myself
in order for me to go on this adventure with
you speaking to the universe. And it's just like, who
(10:47):
am I If I'm not the hustle? Who am I?
If I'm not grinding? Who am I? If I'm not
the educated girl with the masters and the license behind
her name? You know what value am I bringing is?
If people don't even know that those are my credentials.
So that was what was a bigger struggle for me,
And that just was a lot of meditation, a lot
(11:08):
of prayer, a lot of self management. The awareness is great,
but if I didn't manage that awareness, I would have
just kept myself stuck in that box. But a lot
of self management and pacing myself, you know, knowing that
the universe was ready for me to be somewhere that
I was resisting finding that grace for myself when I
wasn't taking the action, when I was sitting in that
(11:29):
resistance and when I knew I needed to be doing things,
but the fear was keeping me from that and I
still go through that today. But self management just really
checking in with myself and asking myself the question. I
started questioning everything at that point, just why, Okay, this
is who I am, says who in what way? You know?
How does that speak to the depths of who you are,
(11:49):
not just this ego identity. So I started questioning everything
and like everything was a why. Literally everything was a why.
And it spoke to my rebellious spirit for sure. So
I like that, but it was also exhausting having to
let go of so much. There was so much grieving
in that process, but you know it was Yeah, it
was a lot of grieving through that process of just
(12:12):
who I was, how I had become that, and then
letting go of who I was becoming because for so
many years I thought I control that, and I did
control that, and I made choices that made sure I
became who I wanted to be and the world saw
me the way I wanted them to see me. And
this was surrendering to all of that, to saying okay,
(12:32):
I'm not even I'm gonna let you work on me.
I'm gonna let you show me who I am and
how good it can get there.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I want to go back to one thing you said quickly.
You said that you reframed basically that when your reality
outside of you doesn't match the vision inside of you,
that becomes fuel for you. So I just want to
put a pin in this for the listeners. A lot
of us have a tendency to become victims to that,
and we say, well, my reality doesn't and I can't
(13:00):
because I have this thing blocking me and that thing
blocking me, and dah da da da da, and we
like cling so hard to our current reality in spite
of ourselves basically, And what I loved that you said
was that instead of clinging to that current reality, that
became fuel for you to go after the new reality.
(13:23):
And I love that perspective shift. And a great question
for people to ask, is am I And no one
likes this question. I just went through this question of
my Morning pages this week. How am I playing the
victim to my current reality? Versus how am I allowing
my current reality to be the fuel for me to
(13:43):
change it? And I love that? Okay, but I want
to get a little bit deeper because you know, and
this is one of the things that I don't think
people quite understand about me as having been the entrepreneur
coach for so many years, is that this identity piece
is and I've done episodes on it before. In fact,
I'm glad we're talking about this because I was just thinking,
(14:05):
I'm like, oh, I need to do another episode about identity.
That identity piece is what blocks most people from reaching
what they want to reach. They're so attached and married
to and immeshed with this version of themselves out in
the world, which I'm sure we'll dig into a little bit,
(14:25):
is really truly just our egos and like those questions
of like, well, you know, who am I without this
the core essence of who I am? And this is
a process I also went through when I closed my
fashion brand. I had built such a strong identity around
being a fashion designer. And what's interesting now is that
most people in my life never even knew me as
(14:46):
a fashion designer because I was ten years ago. But
when we dive into this identity piece and we say, like,
I'm becoming a new person, it's like our ego grasps
on even harder because it is and it is called
act an ego death when we choose to relinquish these
identities that we've so carefully and meticulously crafted for ourselves,
(15:08):
not only within but out in the world. Were there
any practices that you had to kind of reinforce that
sense of safety within yourself for your ego so that
you could explore these things without it getting in the
way saying you can't do that. That's like we're gonna die.
You know, it's too risky, it's too like whatever the
(15:28):
stories are, Yes, oh girl.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So a whole lot of ego work was done through
this process, and my perspective is just a tad different, Like,
my ego has never been my enemy. I don't see
my ego as a part of me that needs to die,
or part of me that needs to be tamed, or
part of me that needs to be boxed ian. It's
a part of me that needed to evolve, and it's
a part of me that needed to catch up to
(15:52):
who we are today. My ego instincts were there. I
look at instinct versus intuition, and for me, I was
driven by my instinct for so many years, just out
of fear and out of survival and that's what my
ego was rooted in. And so once this journey came about,
I think I've evolved even more internally in the last
eight or nine years as an entrepreneur than I have
(16:15):
in the total sixteen years that I've been on this
healing journey. But the things that I focused on were
it's sensing, like really getting in the body, meditating, not
just to manifest my future or to lock in with
the universe and get the visions and get the clues,
but just learning how to be in my body and
(16:35):
to be in this internal world with all of my family,
with all of my parts, all of my inner children,
my ego, my true self, my shadow self, like everybody
having this big power out where we come together and
everybody gets to take up space. And I know it
may sound crazy listening to it, but there were moments,
so many breeze, so many moments of just sitting in silence,
(16:59):
in breath, oftentimes for hours, just letting the emotions come,
the anxiety, processing it, the tears coming up, the grief
coming up, the shame, all of the what ifs, and
like just navigating and managing that conversation like a facilitator
inside of this body, and that was a huge amount
of my work, and I think the thing that did
(17:21):
and I think that is the thing that had the
most impact in me letting go, really getting my ego
to understand that again, this is not you dying love,
This is you getting to evolve the same way you
stepped up to the plate and you took the torch
and ran and you got us here. You're still gonna
run and get us to the next level. It's just
(17:41):
we're gonna have completely different motives. We don't have to
move from fear anymore. We don't have to move from survival.
So now that ego is no longer my insecurities or
my fear. It's my confidence. It's my ability to do,
it's my ability to take action. It's my ability to
create some amazing fucking things, not do it at the
expense of me, and not do it from a place
(18:03):
of trying to prove anymore. It's I've proven it, and
my ego has done a hell of a fucking job,
and he gets to now move in a different season.
He's evolving. I have a family in here, a husband
and wife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Key, it's everybody.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
So my ego is my husband. I love it light
of this body and he he now is getting to
be creative and try things without the fear of the
repercussions of what is the world going to think? And
will we be able to maintain this identity? So ego
growth has been a huge part of this process for
me as well.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
For anyone that has not seen and I know that
Jenna and I have talked about this before. Basically what
Jenna's talking about, I think is really brilliantly represented in
the movie Inside Out. Yes it's a fucking kids movie. No,
it's not for kids, it's for you too. I Inside
Out Too came out last summer. I remember talking with
you about it, and I me and girlfriends on either
(18:58):
side of me, and all three of us are just
bawling through the movie. And so it is true that
all of us have all of these parts within ourselves,
and they all have a voice, and they all want
to contribute to the conversation. A lot of times either
we don't let them, or they are outdated parts of
(19:21):
ourselves that, like you said, just need that evolution. For
anyone that's listened to other episodes of Big Goal Energy,
I am a certified hypnotherapist, and so much of what
I do gens. Actually we did a hypnotherapy session a
few weeks ago. Is we get to go back and
visit those old parts of ourselves that wrote rules and
(19:42):
created identities and did things that came from a kid
that like is usually between the ages of like one
and eight. If you walk through the world realizing that
the majority of humans are operating like old people are
operating as eight year olds in the world, right, So
this work is really truly evolving who we've been in
(20:07):
the past to meet where our present self is, because
that eight year old you doesn't have the perspective that
the current you have. My eight year old self would
be absolutely fucking shocked at the life that I'm living
right now. Yet we're all walking around, like you said,
with the fear, the scarcity, the survival of that small
(20:29):
child within ourselves, trying desperately to hold on to the
safety we think we've created. The truth is that any
things that we've created outside of ourself are unsafe because
the physical world is always changing. The only thing that
remains true from the second we are born until the
second that we die is what's within us. Well, let's
(20:53):
fast forward a little bit. Okay, so you have these visions,
you start doing this identity work, you start really detangling
and evolving and like getting everything to catch up with
you talk to me about fall of twenty twenty three.
Then you come to Success Becomes Me. The door opens.
You're like, holy shit, other people are out there looking
(21:16):
for the same things. What was it within that experience
that really truly sparked or catalyzed you into the next
level of like truly walking away from what you'd built.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, oh man, I think the universe truly spoke to
me through Success Becomes Me. That first conference. Again, at
that time, I was moving along. I was like, okay, yeah,
I'm with you. I'm gonna lock in and I'm gonna
collaborate and we're gonna build something dope like we always have.
But I was trying to do it my way. So
(21:50):
it was like, Okay, I'll keep therapy and then I'll
add this coaching since for whatever reason, you want me
to move into coaching, but I'm not ready to give
away therapy. So I'm cool on that. And then right
before Success Becomes Me, the universe started really revealing to
me just how limiting my license was something that I
(22:10):
could not see because I was so attached to it.
But it's just like there was this vision of you're
going global, like you're going to be a nomad and
you're going to travel all around the world and do
the work that you're doing with your family, and you
cannot do that as a therapist. I need you to
be willing to go down this path, and so coming
into success becomes me. I had gotten some spiritual ass
(22:34):
whippings is what I like to call them, and literally
right before oh my god, literally right before I came
in so Okay. I think the timeline was I found
out about the state of Oklahoma and some laws that
they were changing, and those laws went against every single
ounce of my integrity as a professional. And I'm just like,
(22:57):
I'm not doing that, And to me Poverse, it's like,
you're right, you're not doing that. So this is how
this relates to what I'm doing with you. You need
to let it go. Then I had a crossover where
a coaching client and a therapy client knew each other
and there was a confidentiality issue and I navigated it
(23:19):
the best way that I could. But that was the
first ever in fourteen years of practice that that had
happened again. The universe was slapping me left and right, like, bitch,
you were going to listen and you're coming at some point.
So then when I walked into you, it was just
like I had reached out to a colleague my husband
had connected me with. She was like the networking guru,
(23:41):
and she's gonna get you on all these spaces and
you know, I can put you in front of all
these people. Great, great, great, and I'm with her, and
to me, it was just another aspect of fake and phony.
And I'm just like, see all the more reason why
I need to stay where I'm at, because this is
not the space for me. These people don't get it.
Nobody is moving from integrity, nobody is moving from truth.
(24:03):
Nobody is truly creating change. We're just swimming in these
buckets and I don't I'm not interested in that. I'll
stay where I'm at. Fast forward, girl, And I think
I've told you the story. I get up the morning
at your conference. I bought my TICKEI I got everything,
and I'm like, oh man, why did I say yes
to this? I don't feel like going to this. This
is gonna be more the same olbs. Ain't nobody really
(24:25):
doing nothing, But I'm going because I'm trying to lean
into this thing and trust the process. So I load
up my whole little bag. I got all my laptop
and my notebooks and my snacks and my t's. I'm
gonna sit here and I'm gonna get some work done.
I'm gonna get all of my ad me and stuff
taken care of. So I walked into the drove. I
had to drive from Broken Arrow to downtown Tulsa in traffic,
(24:48):
mad and angry and bitter and bitching the whole way,
like why.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Why get me down there?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And I can't find the parking, I can't find the intro,
so just compounding on me why this is all stupid
and why I just need to stay where I'm at.
I walk into the conference and again really trying to
just resist all of the resistance in me, like trying
my best to grab a hold of the wheel. And
(25:16):
there was a part that was like we're not going,
We're just gonna sit in the back and nobody even
know we're here. And then I think I saw three
people that I knew from my Chase days as soon
as I walked in, which moved me into connecting with
people immediately. That was the universe, absolutely the universe, and
so I said, okay, we're gonna sit up front. I
grabbed the table. Just so happened it ends up being
(25:37):
the table with all a lot of the other speakers
and MC's of the day. And by between your opening
and the Mystic Lady, the Mystic Lad her top I
was so completely open after the two of you hit
the stage that it wasn't open, that there was no
(25:59):
way to that the universe was moving in that space
for me because I was so resistant and so adamant
and so this is this is not it, and it
was it. It was it.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
There's I think there's some sort of quote somewhere that's
like either everything is a Quinn like is the universe working?
Or nothing is the universe working? And what I love
about that story is that it was just like no
matter the like fucking temper tantrum that you put up,
and that like inner part of you that was like
(26:33):
this is bullshit, right, and like I mean, come on,
how many times have we all done that? I know, like,
oh man, I've done that so many times, and the
universe was just it was like a patient parent that
was like, come on, you're gonna have fun. I promise,
I know what I'm doing. And I remember you walked
(26:53):
up to me. I think I had either just gotten
off stage or like Danielle had just finished up and
I was telling everyone to take a break or something,
and you walked up to me and you just like
started crying, And then I think I started crying, and
you were like, this is exactly what I needed. And
it was just such a magical moment. So the universe
(27:14):
broke you open and showed you continuously like what you
didn't want and where it was leading you. So it
can be really hard in those moments to then be like, Okay,
so this conference is over. Like now what, I'm still
waking up every single day in my reality. I still
have to on Monday morning face all my therapy clients.
(27:35):
I still like, I don't have income coming in from
this new business.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yet.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's that like you're then almost straddling these two worlds,
one foot in the new world, one foot in the
old world. How did you navigate that? How did you
keep getting up every day and continue to pour more
energy into your new world than to let the old
world kind of like suck you back in.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, fortunately I had all read I had by the
time I met you. I believe I had an end
date to therapy. No, I take that back. I did
not have an in date to therapy. You pushed my
hand on getting an in date to therapy. What I
had was I had stopped accepting clients. That was like
my first bridge of Okay, I won't accept any more clients.
(28:20):
I'm only going to work these days. I'm at capacity
these treatment. These clients are at least going to be
in need for another six months. These clients are going
to be in need for about another year, and these
clients maybe a year and a half, and then I
think at that point I'll be able to kind of
So I had stopped accepting clients, which was a huge
step for me. So immediately after the conference, there was
(28:42):
this this awkwardness of Okay, I want to reach out
to Breed, but am my reaching out to her as
her friend? Am I reaching out to her to hire her?
Like there was this draw towards you and I just again,
the universe is moving me and I don't know what
because I'm not one to start new friendships. I'm not
one to meet new people, like I like my Space,
I'm an introvert and I'm good. So it's like you
(29:05):
got me out of her network, and like, what am
I calling for? My calling to be a homeland my
colin to.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Hire her, like I can't afford her?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
And so I think we met for coffee. And when
we met for coffee, I had no idea where we
were going. I didn't meet you for coffee with the
intent of hiring you. I met you for coffee feeling
like that's the next thing I've met somebody. It was
a great contact, it was a great experience. I'm supposed
to follow up schedule of coffee and then from there,
(29:34):
I guess something will happen. And so I did that
just being led inspired action. We met, and I'll be
completely honest, that first meeting, I'm just like, I don't
know how that went, Like I don't know because I
don't know what my point is. I don't know what
my purpose is. But anyway that led into me hiring
you to coach me, and even hiring you to coach me,
(29:55):
my current reality was like I can afford it, but
can I really? I got the money right now. But
I could hold onto that money, what would I do
with it? And so a lot of the same, just
internal work, having those internal powows and come to Jesus
moments like I like to call them, with everybody coming forward,
(30:18):
every fear being acknowledged, every fear having space held for it,
every part of me that carries that fear being loved
on and being nurtured, and moment by moment managing myself.
You know, I could clearly we are being led somewhere,
and when we can just lean into the moments where
we're being led, those moments feel amazing and really chasing
(30:41):
more of the amazing. Is what really kept me going
was like, Okay, that was hard to get there. We
got there, and if like with the conference, that was
shitty leading up, but we got there, and look at
how amazing that was and how impactful that was, not
just with all of the information that we learned, all
of the tips and techniques that we learned, but the
(31:01):
people that we met. There were so many other people
in that room that I've connected with outside of you.
So and then again that one foot in the old
and one foot in the new is a survival strategy
for me and like you took you saying those words
right now, is the universe speaking through you? In my opinion,
because that's how I performed before. In my early teens
(31:24):
and in my early twenties. Everything was one foot in
and one foot out, like always looking for the next thing,
always trying to find my escape, whether it was a
relationship or a job or whatever. Never wanting to be stuck.
So scared shitless of getting tethered down to somebody, you know.
And so that was my moo all the time. And
so when I got to that point where I was
(31:44):
doing coaching and therapy, that vision and that revelation came up.
That love, this was how you've always functioned, and that
is a part of you that we need to work
on and we need to evolve because I need you
all in this next season. Life is not about mentalizing.
It's not about hold, it's not about code switching, it's
(32:05):
not about any of those things. Every single space that
you're gonna walk into in your future, you're gonna walk
into that full and expansive, and I need you to get.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
On board with this.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
So that was and then not long after that, I
hired you and we started working together and you were
just like, I need an end date by this day.
And girl talk about ego going Banana's parts going loco,
Like inside of here, it was complete and utter chaos
(32:36):
because that was another level of commitment, that was another
level of being all in, and that was another level
of saying yes. And it was scary as hell, but again,
I've met my superpower is kind of just turning all
that into fuel and just again asking why, like what
are we afraid of? And instead of focusing on our
(32:59):
health space for the things that I was afraid of.
But then on the other side of that, the same
way I would sit in meditation and deal with all
of the negative stuff. I would sit in meditation and
dreaming and it's like, Okay, now we've gone through all
of the fears and all of the worst case scenarios,
but what are the best case scenarios? Like what could
possibly happen if we really go through this and we
(33:20):
explore this could what could become of it? And what
kind of life could we live? And not only what
could we live, but what would we want to live?
And so I started doing a lot of visualizations around
that time, which were things that I hadn't really incorporated
into my spiritual journey, and a lot of manifesting work
around that time, and all of those things started to
help just kind of release that fear.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Love it. I have more questions about that, but I
want to again highlight something that you said, because oftentimes
when we think about like, oh, I have this new vision, okay,
then I have to just like close the door and
shut down everything I'm doing right now to like go
towards this new thing. And what I talk about in
Permission to Leap and in general is everything is a journey.
(34:02):
So what I love is that you knew that it
was time to walk away from therapy. But what you
did was you gave yourself a runway. So summer of
twenty three you said I'm not taking on any new clients.
That was the first step. Then, you know, eight nine
months later, I was like pick an end date, right,
that was the next step. And it wasn't tomorrow. It
(34:25):
was this client's going to be with me for a
year and a half. That's going to give me eighteen
months to phase them out, and then by that time
I'll be one hundred percent into the new reality. So
for anyone listening, I just ask you, what does it
look like for you to give yourself a runway? And
what are some decisions you can put in place now
(34:45):
that are going to help you get there. That's not
you paralyzed because you're trying to burn all the boats
and like strand yourself on an eyeline and with no resources.
What is one step you can take today? Define what
that runway looks like for so that you know when
you're at the end of the runway and it's time
to go. So when you're doing this, parts work, like
(35:06):
you said, like chaos inside all these fears popping up
a lot of people. I talk to those fears basically
like take the keys to the car. They let the
fears drive and they let them just have full rain.
If you're listening to this and thinking I wish I
had more people in my life who just get it,
(35:28):
you're not alone. Big Goal Energy women are rare. We're
the ones dreaming big, defying norms, and refusing to settle.
And that is exactly why I created the Big Goal
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(35:50):
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(36:11):
inside the big Old Energy app and surround yourself with
women who dream as delulu as you do. Download the
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to learn more.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
How have you.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Figured out the difference between your fear and your higher self?
And then what do you do to not let the
fears lead but instead let that higher vision, higher self
alignment part of you be the one to make the
decisions to move forward. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I think for me, it all goes back to again
the stillness and the space. You and I talked about
space recently, where I have the luxury and the privilege
of space at this season in my life, and that
has been the greatest gift that anybody could have ever
given me. But at that time, it was taking that
space and really sitting and learning how to respond versus
(37:10):
how to react internally. You only get it through actually
practicing it and being in it, but learning how to
respond and learning kind of the analogy from inside out
where at the very end that give anxiety the cup
of tea and they have her little chair. The analogy
I use is it's like a bus and my ego
is driving, and my true self is in the passenger seat.
(37:32):
And then I got all of my littles in the
back and everybody got a seat. Every now and then
somebody gets freaked out in the back and runs up
to the front and tries to grab the wheel. When
that part of me is trying to grab the wheel,
my ego has to stay focused, and my true self
then gets to come with end. So that protector part
of me is making sure we survive this and that
(37:54):
I can take that space and that it's not going
to be detrimental to everybody. And then it's literally a
matter of holding space like a nurturing mother. I give
them the time, I'm patient with them, I hold that space,
and then eventually I get them back to their seat,
I get them buckled in, I get them a snack,
I get them a juice pack, I get them the iPad,
I turn on their movie, and now they're settled, and
(38:16):
then I now get to come back to the front.
And so that is work that is constant for me.
Because even sixteen years later of being on my healing
journey and ten years of doing parts work, it doesn't
mean that I don't have the struggles. The fears still
pop up, the doubts still pop up, the old memories
still pop up. But as I get through and as
(38:37):
I heal and evolve, how we react to those and
respond to those continues to evolve. So a lot more
of just meditating and sitting and listening and truly truly
having dialogue and conversations with myself and truly establishing a
solid relationship with myself. Those are the most powerful things.
And then as far as just like my fear versus
(38:59):
my true self, I won't say that my true self
doesn't have fear, but my true self is one between
I live now where I have instinct and intuition, ego
and true self, and so having that balance, I think
we want one or the other. We're either hardcore in
our ego because we're survival, or we're like fuck survival.
I just want to thrive. I want to be soft.
(39:21):
I don't want to have to do anything. I just
want to live in my feminine energy. And it's like,
you need both because if you can't survive a thing,
you're never gonna get the opportunity to thrive in a theme.
And so learning how to balance those two energies and
co lead from those energies has been the most impactful
for me at this season of my life. Ego dominance
(39:43):
was great. At one season, I built some beautiful shit,
But what I'm building now is a completely different vibe.
It's a completely different energy, and it requires both to
be fully engaged and both to be fully present.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So the question that comes up for me about that
is household. So you said it's a different vibe, a
different energy, So walk us through, like, how is it different?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
It's a confidence I believe. My experience shows me that
when I am in my ego energy and I am
operating from that place, I am operating from insecurity. And
most of us think when we are operating from ego,
we're operating from some stance of confidence because we're taking
(40:25):
action and we're doing things. But my ego was one
of the most insecure parts of me, and my ego
was activated by all of the memories and all of
the fears, and so now moving into a season where
I'm more balanced. I won't say I'm all the way there,
but there's a balance inside of me. I can walk
into a moment and feel fear and not be consumed
(40:48):
by it. I can walk into a moment and have
doubt and not get stuck in it. I can have
a moment where I've surrendered to the uncertainty of the
universe because she's never going to show me her full hand,
but still trust and move forward. And it's not something
that sounds good, it's something that is truly embodied within
me where I can I can feel the doubt and
(41:11):
still trust the process. So it's a balance that would
be balance and confidence.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I think that there are a lot of people out
there that believe that success means being without fear, and
success means being without doubt, and success means being without uncertainty.
What you're saying is you've stepped more into success. All
three of those things are still very present.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Absolutely yes, Because I think we assume that there's going
to be this place, this final destination, that when we
get there will have all the answers and it'll all
make sense, and success means that I finally, for once
and for all, figured it all out, and that has
not been my story or my journey. Success for me
is like in a failure in coming out of the darkness,
(41:59):
in trusting the process, even though I questioned it the
entire way through my conversation we talked about in our
last book club. My conversations with the universe are like, Yo,
what's up what we're doing? Because I don't this done.
I'm confused, But I've learned how to do that and
still be like, but.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm fucking with you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I'm moving with you because you've shown me that you're
gonna always come through and that if I do the work,
I'm gonna get to the other side and there's going
to be a beautiful payoff. So I trust that and
I move forward anyway. But no, there's always doubt us.
You mentioned us doing the hypnosis. You know there's a
part of me that still procrastinates even though I'm all
in on this journey. Now, the work is in nurturing
(42:43):
that part of me to the point that they are
willing to get in their seat with their snack and
their iPad and watch their movie. So me and my
ego can go do me and my husband can go
do what we need to do to move this family
to the next level. But I don't rush myself. And
I also don't just because the part of me procrastinates
and has it evolved yet doesn't mean I can't move
(43:04):
forward and I can't take steps while I am nurturing
that part of me and while I am getting that
part of me on board. The only difference is once
I am done nurturing that part of me and I've
also taken all of these steps, once she releases that control,
then I'm catapultic into the next because I've already been moving.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yeah. I find really interesting too, is this idea. So
a lot of people make their habits their identity as well.
And what I haven't heard you say is I am
a procrastinator. I don't know if that's part of your
practice as well, but it's been something that I have
been working on within myself. Is just because I have
(43:44):
a certain habit or just because I'm having a certain
experience right now, I'm not claiming ownership of it. I'm
not making it my identity. I'm able to, like you
settle detached and say, oh, there's this piece of myself
that's having an experience where she wants to procrastinate. But
(44:04):
that doesn't mean I am a procrastinator. Is that something
that you're conscious of or is that something that you
just inherently kind of do.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
No, it's a part of my work.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
It's a part of my overall work.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Because we have multiple personalities, all of us. We have
all of these different parts and they are moved by
different themes and different memories and different motives. And so
when a part of me is coming forward, not only one,
it's not me. It's a part of me. And yes,
as a part of me, that does play into who
(44:37):
I am, but it is not the totality of who
I am. And in the event that it is something
that is detrimental to me, that means that it is
a part of me that has not had the opportunity
to grow and evolve from how they self protect. And
so my job is to get them to evolve into
a place where they understand that they are already safe
(44:57):
and they no longer need to self protect. And that
between me and the ego, our family is now intact,
the husband and the wife, the mother and the father.
We are back together. You are no longer only being
led by your father, and he is no longer this
emotionally unavailable father. Like we are together and we're nurturing
you and we've got this. But no, they're parts of me,
(45:19):
and those parts of me are moving from old beliefs
and old memories and not only my current self, but
my current self is the totality of everything. Where my
true self and my ego and my opinion, they are
my identity. Those that's who I am. I am my
ego because even though they were conditioned reactions, you couldn't
have got them out of me if they weren't already
(45:41):
in me. You know, some people will fall to the fear.
I didn't. I challenged the fear. That is who I am.
So I think we look at ego as if it's
a trauma response and it's not who we are. But
those are my instincts, baby, And I'm taking full credit
for that because I love my ego. I love how
I responded in a moment when my back was up
against the wall. My true self, my intuition, that is
(46:03):
who I am. That is who I was born to
be and who I was created to be. Even though
she may not have been fluid in my life up
until now, but now they both get to live and
they're both valuable as fuck to me, and I love
them both tremendously. I'm getting emotional thinking about it, but
I love it. I love them.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
So let's wrap this up a little bit and say
that this is just a moment in your journey, right,
because this is not nowhere near the end. This is
part of I hate rags to riches stories because it's
just even so cliche to say. But every ending it
is like a new beginning.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
We've talked about where you were two years ago, what
your identity was two years ago, what your opportunity was
two years ago. You've gone through this amends transformation in
the last two years. You shut down your psychotherapy practice,
your full time in your coaching, slash fashion, slash art, slash,
(47:00):
everything that is GEN rolled up into one big business.
Who is the GEN today? And I know you introduced
yourself at the beginning with a lot of this stuff,
but like, talk to us about that identity shift because
we heard it from two years ago. Talk to us
about the identity shift that you're embodying today.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah, today I am I like you know me. I
always like to start with what I'm not. I am
no longer riddled with anxiety. I am no longer trapped
in fear and resistance. I have found a level of
balance and a level of peace, a level of surrender
and flow in this journey. I am able to move
(47:40):
through my life and not feel moved and rushed and
ping ponged through my day anymore. I see me, and
I truly understand how every aspect of my journey has
come into this moment and is embodied within me, and
I get to live that out. I am more rebellious
than I I have ever been in my life. It's
(48:02):
a whole different level and a whole different vibe of rebelion.
Now I am tapping back into my creativity. I am
giving myself permission to simply be what is on me
to be. I am no longer at the mercy of
the opinions of others. Doesn't mean I don't question, it
doesn't mean it doesn't make me hesitate from time to time,
(48:24):
but I'm no longer controlled by that. I'm no longer
trying to show up in the world in a way
that can control how people see me and that could
put me in a position to feel and be and
represent something superior. I've done that shit, I did it.
So I have immense privilege in my life today and
time privileged, location privilege, body privilege, like I just have
(48:45):
an immense amount of privilege in my life. And I
am so fucking excited to see what the universe and
I do next, because we've already done some amazing things.
And it's just great to be at a point in
my life where I can truly, one hundred percent without hesitation,
say that if I died today, I would be okay.
I've done everything that I told myself I would do.
(49:08):
I made sure not to become or do the things
that I said I wouldn't become or do. I kept
my promises to myself. I have an amazing husband, I
have an amazing relationship with myself, with my partner, with
my children. I have met come to terms and peace
with people from my past. I've learned how to love
and let people be. I no longer love from a
(49:29):
place of control. I understand boundaries, like so much of
who I am today is not who I was, and
so I'm just moving through. I'm in flow. I guess
I'm just in a flow and I'm in a state
of surrender and I'm really excited to see what comes next.
I'm no longer chasing, I'm no longer hustling and grinding.
(49:50):
Doesn't mean I'm not ambitious or that I have these
great things that I want to do, because I will
complete the mission that the universe chose me to create
and to complete. But it's just an end internal slow.
Even if my day is chaos, internally, I'm slow. And
that wasn't the case. It was externally it was chaos,
and internally it was chaos. And now I have managed
(50:12):
to create peace and here so that even if it's
chaos out there, it doesn't move me anymore. There's it
just doesn't. And it's crazy to say. Whyn't ask me
the other day he was like, you really aren't stressed,
and I'm like, no, I'm not. I see the problem,
and I know we got to do something about the problem,
but I'm not stressed. Like it's going to work out.
(50:33):
We were both created to do something great, and you
can't tell me that we're both having these same experiences
for no reason. We're having these same experiences because we're
being led somewhere beautiful, and I need you to get
on board so we can get to this place this beautiful.
So I love that put your question.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Well, and I think that's a point that a lot
of people don't get to, is that we're really conditioned
to again, like, let that external reality dictate one who
we are on the inside, the possibilities that are available
to us, the realities that we think we can or
cannot create right our emotional state, our reactivity are like
(51:12):
Abraham Hicks refers to this as living unconditionally, and that
no matter what conditions are happening outside of us, that
we're able to have that strength, that alignment, that knowing,
that intuition, like all of those things within us, regardless
of the chaos, regardless of the stressors, regardless of all
(51:33):
of those things. One of the things you said is
something that you and I could do an entirely separate,
full fifty five minute episode on, and that is the
idea of being ambitious and having big goal energy without
the hustle, without sacrificing yourself in the process. Would you
(51:53):
wrap us up with one thing that has helped you
hold the both and in this how do you have
big goal energy and have ambitions without letting it overrun
you or override you, or take you back into that
hustle or like get you back into those old ways
of operating.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah, I think for me, it's it's really seeing myself
and I think if people could do that, we would
move out of a lot of the imposter syndrome too.
It's you talk about it the proof, having proof, like
I have so much fucking proof about how dope I am.
Like I have so much fucking proof that I'm chosen.
I have so much fucking proof that I am destined
(52:32):
for greatness, Like I have the proof now and I
trust the proof. I'm no longer arguing with the proof
or rejecting the proof or trying to disclaim the proof.
I accept the fucking proof that I am awesome, and
that allows me to lean into moments of I wasn't
always awesome, you know, to be able to sit here
and say this shit to you, I did so many things.
(52:54):
So I think for me, it's trusting that I've done
enough and trusting that for whatever when I'm locked in
with the universe, I've done my part and I continue
to do my part. That allows me to settle that
allows me to trust, and that allows me to stay
in my lane. I've learned what my lane is and
what the universe's lane is, and I am no longer
(53:16):
putting my foot all on her side, like you got that, baby,
and I'm gonna trust you and I hold her accountable
to that now. But for me, I can only speak
for me. It's being able to look in my past
and say, holy shit, jan you fucking did it.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Now it's next.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
That gives me so much freedom and so much peace
to no longer have to hustle like I hustled because
I was running and I needed to get away and
I needed space between me and that thing. I have
put enough fucking distance and enough fucking space between me
and that thing that there is no way, no shape
or form, that that thing can ever get me, or
(53:52):
that I would ever be caught up and become that thing.
So I now get to rest in that and I
think where some of it just get it wrong. It's
like I'm and again, this is just me. There is
a part of the journey where you have to sacrifice.
There is a part of the journey where you have
to pay your dues, where you have to show the
universe that when she pulls your hand, you're gonna play
(54:13):
it right. And so for me, I've done that, and
she's confirmed for me that I've done that. So I'm cool,
Like I don't. I ain't got a rush at this point.
Now it's just I've got I got everything I need.
Now it's just how big can I get? How great
could it be? What did you really create me for?
And then that thing, too is surrendering to the fact
that I am ambitious. I am great because I was
(54:37):
created to do something very specific and that thing has
evolved over my lifetime. So even embracing the fact that
I was I am chosen. Every single human is chosen
to be here, and I'm gonna complete the mission because
again I'm ambitious, right, I want to do the thing.
So if you chose me to do something, then I'm
(54:58):
by all means I'm gonna do that shit and I'm
going to see it to the very end. In my
last s breats, So that would be how I've leaned
into the letting go of the hustle and embracing the
flow of the thing is really stepping into what I've
been chosen to do and what I've already accomplished beautiful.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Well, first I'm gonna drop two resources quick before we
wrap up. So the first one for anyone that was like, okay, cool,
Jen got to go to this amazing conference, like two
years ago, why wasn't I invited?
Speaker 2 (55:29):
And last year I've been twice now in both years
has been transformative.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Jen actually got to speak this past year, so it's
very exciting. So Success Becomes Me is coming back March
of twenty twenty six. So we're all gathering in New Orleans,
y'all in New Orleans on Friday, March thirteenth, twenty twenty six.
We're going to have a day of activations. It's becoming
(55:55):
an anti conference, not a conference. Day of activations. We're
going to spend a day practicing our future. Like I'm
creating the trailer for it right now, and it opens
with when's the last time you practiced your future? Like
I'm spent a whole day practicing our future. And then
that night we're all gonna get together and we're literally
gonna have a ball, an actual legitimate New Orleans style ball.
(56:18):
I spoke with a burlesque performer this weekend. We're gonna
get tarot readers, We're gonna get fire throwers. We're gonna
I mean, it is gonna be a ball, and it's
gonna be a future self ball. So we're gonna have
spent all day practicing our future and then we're gonna
get to show up as our future selves that night.
So if you're like, great, where do I get tickets?
Early bird tickets are available right now. Success becomes Me
(56:41):
dot com. There is a limited number of early bird tickets.
So if you're like, this is my jam, I get that.
It's a year away. Get your fucking tickets. We've already
sold an eighth of the tickets. Yeah, we sold an
eighth of the tickets eighteen months before the event. So
you want an early bird ticket, price will go up,
so grab your early bird ticket. Success becomes me dot com. Secondly,
(57:04):
I want to invite you all to the new Big
Goal Energy app. Hello.
Speaker 2 (57:09):
Yeah, it's already ready.
Speaker 1 (57:11):
Well so as of right now, it's not already ready,
but by the time this episode comes out, so y'all
are listening in the future, in the future, it will
be out already. Okay, Yeah, you can visit pre seally
dot com slash community. It's on iOS, it's on Android,
and there's a web version, so you can find conversations
about this episode. You can find resources. Jen's going to
(57:34):
be in there, you can talk to her. I'm so excited,
so pre sallyite dot com slash community. Thank you Jen
so much. I know that we've said this to each
other many times, but like, I'm just so grateful that
eighteen months ago our paths crossed and that you came
up to me. I still vividly I don't remember much
from that first success becomes me because my body was
shut down and I was in fight or flight mode
(57:56):
of just mentally and emotionally. I vividly remember you coming
up to me and standing in front of me and
telling me your experience within the first two hours of
the conference. And I'm just so grateful that I've been
witnessed to this identity shift within you and been able
to even lend just like a little bit of inspiration
(58:18):
or perspective on this journey, because I also know that
you're destined for greatness, and I am incredibly honored to
be one of the humans walking beside you in your
journey towards that greatness. Like it's just been so cool
to witness this evolution within you, and I just want
to say congratulations. So if you need more proof for
(58:40):
your list today, you can just write this down as
part of your proof for today. I will do that.
Speaker 2 (58:45):
Love. Thank you for showing up in all of your gifts,
just as the universe intended you to show up for me,
being authentically who you are, because if you were not that,
it would not have worked. So I appreciate you, sister.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
For anyone who's listening, if you're not yet subscribed, make
sure to hit the button on whatever platform you are
enjoying this episode on. Thank you all so much for
joining me and Jen for this week's episode of Big
Goal Energy. Go out, y'all and like claim your vision. Yes,
just claim it, and I promise it's going to be messy,
(59:18):
but I also promise that women like Jen and I
are going to be there if you need guidance or
encouragement or support to like help make it a little
less messy for you, because I will tell you it's
fucking worth it.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Absolutely absolutely, I wouldn't have it any other way. Same,
thank you, Thank you Low.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
If this episode lit something up and you share it,
text it to a friend, post it to your stories
or leave a review. Because big goal energy is meant
to be felt far and wide, and if you're ready
to go deeper, explore the tools, hypnosis, sessions and support.
Because your vision deserves more than hustle, join us on
the big Goal Energy by visiting your app store and
(01:00:02):
typing in Big Goal Energy. Your vision, your goals deserve alignment, ease,
and your fullest self behind them Until next time, Trust yourself,
dream bigger, and never forget you are here for greatness
The episode that you're about to hear of Big Goal
Energy is one that is near to my heart. I
get to interview someone who has become a dear, dear
friend over the last eighteen months, someone who I have
gotten to witness step into a new era in her life.
This is a woman that one hundred percent embodies the
idea of Big Goal Energy, but she's an era in
(00:22):
her life now where it's not defining her, it's not
her identity. And also she's not doing it with hustle.
She's done it with hustle in the past, but she
has made a conscious choice to do it through more
of an aligned flow. This time we unpack some brilliant
concepts around fear and scarcity, around parts, work around how
(00:45):
to really step into a new reality when your old
reality is staring you in the face every single day.
Thank you for joining me for this incredibly special episode
of Big Goal Energy. I hope you enjoy it. Make
sure that you are so described and make sure you
come and join us on the Big Goal Energy app
by visiting bre sealy dot com slash community. You were
(01:08):
never meant for a small life. You have bold ideas,
audacious dreams and visions that keep you up at night.
But the truth is, big goals don't come with step
by step instructions, and success doesn't come from doing more.
It comes from becoming more. Welcome to Big Goal Energy
a podcast for high achieving women who are done shrinking, striving,
(01:29):
and second guessing and are ready to defy reality in
pursuit of the life they actually want. I'm your hostess,
free Sealy, goal Architect, subconscious strategist, and your permission slip
to want what you want. Join me as we go
beyond the surface level success to explore the mindset, identity,
and inner work required to bring your biggest, most delulu
(01:52):
goals to life. This is your space to be seen,
to be expanded, and to remember that you are not
alone on this journey. Let's get into it. Hey everyone,
Brie seely here. I am just thrilled at this interview
that I'm about to do today. As y'all know, I
don't really do interviews on this podcast, but the woman
(02:12):
that I'm about to speak to is very near and
dear to my heart, and her story to me is
like the epitome of Big Goal Energy, and so I
couldn't not bring all of her to you so first
and foremost, big goal energy ers. I'm still playing with
a name for all of us. I'm still playing with it,
but please help me. Welcome the incredible Jhen Rodriguez from
(02:34):
the Evolution of Her Woo.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yes, I.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Hear it, love it. Well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Hello, nice sister, how are you this morning?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Good, nice and quiet morning. I've got my window open,
which is a lovely, very nice change from where we've been. Yes,
and got my cappuccino in hand, and just you know,
feeling good.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yes, I do my first am walk. The sun was
coming up. I got out this morning and walked and
it was so phenomenonal. My winter is my gryptonite. I
can I'm so excited for spring.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It's happening. As I was walking back to the shed
this morning with my cappuccino in hand, I stopped. We
planted two trees like about a year ago ish. They're
starting to just get like the teeniest, tiniest like little
buds on them, and so I was like stopping and
just admiring all the teeny tiny amounts of like little
new growth that's coming and feels very apropos And I
(03:31):
feel like I think you're in a similar spot. As
like springtime within ourselves as well, that there are new
things emerging. You know, we're in a book club together.
We've been talking about for the last month that it's
like time to pick out the seeds we're planting and
the now we're into the like seed planting time and
the sprouting and the like. Yeah, it's good time of year.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yes, I love it. I'm planning a garden just so
you know, I'm gonna get it all together. I'm going
to start inside and move. So that's my goal. That's
my artist state this week is to go get some dirt,
get some pots, and start planning my seed.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So oh that's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, well, let's.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Start give us an overview of like who is Jen Rodriguez?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Like who? All right, who is?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Men will rewind a little bit and like track how
you got to this point? Okay, who is Jen?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm gonna work very hard not to list just the roles.
But I am a human healing chosen to be on
this journey, collaborating with the universe each and every day,
trusting the process and surrendering, leaning into the magic of
who I am and the magic of this whole vessel
and energy and just learning to live life a different
(04:49):
way as I evolve and as I grow professionally. I'm
a licensed trauma therapist. I've retired, and now I am
figuring out how to bring the last twenty years of
my professional career into one cohesive brand. I am a
sexy wife and a present mother. I'm a grandmother learning
(05:09):
how to do that role. And I am I'm just
a woman that is here to rebel against every fucking rule,
every box, every perception of me and truly step into
my strength and my power and my femininity. So that's me,
So good.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So good. So let's rewind then, So we're currently filming.
That's March eleven, twenty twenty five. Tell me about the
gen from two years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Oh okay, the jam from twenty twenty three. March of
twenty twenty three would have been before I met you,
because I met you in November or somewhere around fill
of twenty twenty three. To me at that time was
all over the place, like if I could just say it'sha,
like all over the fucking place. I had been getting
these visions that life was going to be different, life
(05:57):
was changing, and it was just a lot coming at me.
All at once, because it was changing my personal life
and my professional life. But the visions were showing me
how even though all of these changes were massive, they
were all aligning and going to the same place, and
there would be cohesion at some point on the journey.
I had been hustling working since I got my first
(06:18):
job at fourteen. The grind and the hustle of being
a professional and being superior and having letters behind your
name and having all of the accolades were something that
I pursued out of fear and out of survival. And
so I was coming out of that season in my
life where I no longer needed to work in that way.
I had achieved enough, I had earned enough, and I
(06:38):
valued where I was. But I was also being elevated
to that next level, something that the universe chose for me.
I couldn't choose it for myself, and so I was
just really searching. I knew that I was being led somewhere,
but I didn't really know how to get there. All
I knew was the hustle. All I knew was the grind.
And then I found you and your community and the
(07:00):
community that I'm a part of now, and that was
the first space I had ever been in where I
heard people communicating and talking about rest and prioritizing and
managing your time and not hustling until you're exhausted and
you're literally dead, because that's how I felt in many
of those seasons, Like externally, I produced a lot of
(07:22):
great things, but internally I didn't feel what I wanted
to feel. And so when I met you, I was
at a season where I could really look at my
life and say I'm happy, Like I have accomplished what
I wanted to accomplish. All the things I committed to
myself that I would not become I didn't become. I
have a beautiful marriage, I have a beautiful family. Like
if not now, then when, Like, if I don't take
(07:44):
that big risk now and do the thing that I
don't think is possible, will I ever do it? And
then here you came into my life, and you shed
some light in a lot of different areas that were
perfect timing for me.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Sorry, not sorry, just kidding. There were some really, really
really interesting things that you said in there. I want
to unpack some of them. I'm taking notes so that
my squirrel brain doesn't forget. So let's start with this one.
So you were being gifted these visions and these visions
that looked very different than the world that you were
(08:17):
currently living in. Inside of you, is this like knowing
these seeds, this opportunity, these visions, and then outside of
you you're looking at this world where you're hustling, you
are working, you know, trading time for money in your
therapy business. Again, you said you have all the letters
behind your name, like all these things. How did you
(08:37):
begin to rectify these two experiences? Because this is something
I get a lot from people as like, well, I
know there's more available to me, but the world around
me is showing me that like I'm not there yet
or people are always waiting for the external factors to
show them that it's time to take the step. And
like you said, you knew even though those external factors
(08:59):
weren't there, this was the time to take the risk.
So how did you balance the inner world not matching
the external reality?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, that's a great question. So first and foremost, just disclaimer,
because I don't want to give anybody this ideal perspective,
But for me, my internal world has always that's a
superpower for me being able to be in this body
and be in an experience. In the experience, I can
look at that experience and say, this is not my future,
(09:30):
this is just where I am, and that's who I've
always been. I died that as a kid. I looked
around me. My external world was nowhere near what was
I was being led towards. So it's almost a superpower
for me. So I want to be honest with that.
That's just a part of who I am. But in
this situation, it was for me it was more of
resistance of letting go of an identity and a reality
(09:54):
that I had come so attached to. That was the
bigger struggle for me. You know, what do you mean
going to retire from therapy? And what do you mean
I'm going to be a coach?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Like what do you mean.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I'm going to be a homeschooling mom? Like I didn't
even want to be a mother for so many years.
So there was just a lot of these things where
it was going against who I thought I was more
than anything else. And the resistance for me was letting
go of that more so than it was embracing something
that I couldn't tangibly see. The not being able to
(10:26):
tangibly see it is like go for me, that's ammunition
for me, that's motivation for me. I like those kind
of challenges, but it was you're gonna strip me of
everything that I have come to value in myself and
the things that I have come to know of myself
in order for me to go on this adventure with
you speaking to the universe. And it's just like, who
(10:47):
am I If I'm not the hustle? Who am I?
If I'm not grinding? Who am I? If I'm not
the educated girl with the masters and the license behind
her name? You know what value am I bringing is?
If people don't even know that those are my credentials.
So that was what was a bigger struggle for me,
And that just was a lot of meditation, a lot
(11:08):
of prayer, a lot of self management. The awareness is great,
but if I didn't manage that awareness, I would have
just kept myself stuck in that box. But a lot
of self management and pacing myself, you know, knowing that
the universe was ready for me to be somewhere that
I was resisting finding that grace for myself when I
wasn't taking the action, when I was sitting in that
(11:29):
resistance and when I knew I needed to be doing things,
but the fear was keeping me from that and I
still go through that today. But self management just really
checking in with myself and asking myself the question. I
started questioning everything at that point, just why, Okay, this
is who I am, says who in what way? You know?
How does that speak to the depths of who you are,
(11:49):
not just this ego identity. So I started questioning everything
and like everything was a why. Literally everything was a why.
And it spoke to my rebellious spirit for sure. So
I like that, but it was also exhausting having to
let go of so much. There was so much grieving
in that process, but you know it was Yeah, it
was a lot of grieving through that process of just
(12:12):
who I was, how I had become that, and then
letting go of who I was becoming because for so
many years I thought I control that, and I did
control that, and I made choices that made sure I
became who I wanted to be and the world saw
me the way I wanted them to see me. And
this was surrendering to all of that, to saying okay,
(12:32):
I'm not even I'm gonna let you work on me.
I'm gonna let you show me who I am and
how good it can get there.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I want to go back to one thing you said quickly.
You said that you reframed basically that when your reality
outside of you doesn't match the vision inside of you,
that becomes fuel for you. So I just want to
put a pin in this for the listeners. A lot
of us have a tendency to become victims to that,
and we say, well, my reality doesn't and I can't
(13:00):
because I have this thing blocking me and that thing
blocking me, and dah da da da da, and we
like cling so hard to our current reality in spite
of ourselves basically, And what I loved that you said
was that instead of clinging to that current reality, that
became fuel for you to go after the new reality.
(13:23):
And I love that perspective shift. And a great question
for people to ask, is am I And no one
likes this question. I just went through this question of
my Morning pages this week. How am I playing the
victim to my current reality? Versus how am I allowing
my current reality to be the fuel for me to
(13:43):
change it? And I love that? Okay, but I want
to get a little bit deeper because you know, and
this is one of the things that I don't think
people quite understand about me as having been the entrepreneur
coach for so many years, is that this identity piece
is and I've done episodes on it before. In fact,
I'm glad we're talking about this because I was just thinking,
(14:05):
I'm like, oh, I need to do another episode about identity.
That identity piece is what blocks most people from reaching
what they want to reach. They're so attached and married
to and immeshed with this version of themselves out in
the world, which I'm sure we'll dig into a little bit,
(14:25):
is really truly just our egos and like those questions
of like, well, you know, who am I without this
the core essence of who I am? And this is
a process I also went through when I closed my
fashion brand. I had built such a strong identity around
being a fashion designer. And what's interesting now is that
most people in my life never even knew me as
(14:46):
a fashion designer because I was ten years ago. But
when we dive into this identity piece and we say, like,
I'm becoming a new person, it's like our ego grasps
on even harder because it is and it is called
act an ego death when we choose to relinquish these
identities that we've so carefully and meticulously crafted for ourselves,
(15:08):
not only within but out in the world. Were there
any practices that you had to kind of reinforce that
sense of safety within yourself for your ego so that
you could explore these things without it getting in the
way saying you can't do that. That's like we're gonna die.
You know, it's too risky, it's too like whatever the
(15:28):
stories are, Yes, oh girl.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So a whole lot of ego work was done through
this process, and my perspective is just a tad different, Like,
my ego has never been my enemy. I don't see
my ego as a part of me that needs to die,
or part of me that needs to be tamed, or
part of me that needs to be boxed ian. It's
a part of me that needed to evolve, and it's
a part of me that needed to catch up to
(15:52):
who we are today. My ego instincts were there. I
look at instinct versus intuition, and for me, I was
driven by my instinct for so many years, just out
of fear and out of survival and that's what my
ego was rooted in. And so once this journey came about,
I think I've evolved even more internally in the last
eight or nine years as an entrepreneur than I have
(16:15):
in the total sixteen years that I've been on this
healing journey. But the things that I focused on were
it's sensing, like really getting in the body, meditating, not
just to manifest my future or to lock in with
the universe and get the visions and get the clues,
but just learning how to be in my body and
(16:35):
to be in this internal world with all of my family,
with all of my parts, all of my inner children,
my ego, my true self, my shadow self, like everybody
having this big power out where we come together and
everybody gets to take up space. And I know it
may sound crazy listening to it, but there were moments,
so many breeze, so many moments of just sitting in silence,
(16:59):
in breath, oftentimes for hours, just letting the emotions come,
the anxiety, processing it, the tears coming up, the grief
coming up, the shame, all of the what ifs, and
like just navigating and managing that conversation like a facilitator
inside of this body, and that was a huge amount
of my work, and I think the thing that did
(17:21):
and I think that is the thing that had the
most impact in me letting go, really getting my ego
to understand that again, this is not you dying love,
This is you getting to evolve the same way you
stepped up to the plate and you took the torch
and ran and you got us here. You're still gonna
run and get us to the next level. It's just
(17:41):
we're gonna have completely different motives. We don't have to
move from fear anymore. We don't have to move from survival.
So now that ego is no longer my insecurities or
my fear. It's my confidence. It's my ability to do,
it's my ability to take action. It's my ability to
create some amazing fucking things, not do it at the
expense of me, and not do it from a place
(18:03):
of trying to prove anymore. It's I've proven it, and
my ego has done a hell of a fucking job,
and he gets to now move in a different season.
He's evolving. I have a family in here, a husband
and wife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Key, it's everybody.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
So my ego is my husband. I love it light
of this body and he he now is getting to
be creative and try things without the fear of the
repercussions of what is the world going to think? And
will we be able to maintain this identity? So ego
growth has been a huge part of this process for
me as well.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
For anyone that has not seen and I know that
Jenna and I have talked about this before. Basically what
Jenna's talking about, I think is really brilliantly represented in
the movie Inside Out. Yes it's a fucking kids movie. No,
it's not for kids, it's for you too. I Inside
Out Too came out last summer. I remember talking with
you about it, and I me and girlfriends on either
(18:58):
side of me, and all three of us are just
bawling through the movie. And so it is true that
all of us have all of these parts within ourselves,
and they all have a voice, and they all want
to contribute to the conversation. A lot of times either
we don't let them, or they are outdated parts of
(19:21):
ourselves that, like you said, just need that evolution. For
anyone that's listened to other episodes of Big Goal Energy,
I am a certified hypnotherapist, and so much of what
I do gens. Actually we did a hypnotherapy session a
few weeks ago. Is we get to go back and
visit those old parts of ourselves that wrote rules and
(19:42):
created identities and did things that came from a kid
that like is usually between the ages of like one
and eight. If you walk through the world realizing that
the majority of humans are operating like old people are
operating as eight year olds in the world, right, So
this work is really truly evolving who we've been in
(20:07):
the past to meet where our present self is, because
that eight year old you doesn't have the perspective that
the current you have. My eight year old self would
be absolutely fucking shocked at the life that I'm living
right now. Yet we're all walking around, like you said,
with the fear, the scarcity, the survival of that small
(20:29):
child within ourselves, trying desperately to hold on to the
safety we think we've created. The truth is that any
things that we've created outside of ourself are unsafe because
the physical world is always changing. The only thing that
remains true from the second we are born until the
second that we die is what's within us. Well, let's
(20:53):
fast forward a little bit. Okay, so you have these visions,
you start doing this identity work, you start really detangling
and evolving and like getting everything to catch up with
you talk to me about fall of twenty twenty three.
Then you come to Success Becomes Me. The door opens.
You're like, holy shit, other people are out there looking
(21:16):
for the same things. What was it within that experience
that really truly sparked or catalyzed you into the next
level of like truly walking away from what you'd built.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, oh man, I think the universe truly spoke to
me through Success Becomes Me. That first conference. Again, at
that time, I was moving along. I was like, okay, yeah,
I'm with you. I'm gonna lock in and I'm gonna
collaborate and we're gonna build something dope like we always have.
But I was trying to do it my way. So
(21:50):
it was like, Okay, I'll keep therapy and then I'll
add this coaching since for whatever reason, you want me
to move into coaching, but I'm not ready to give
away therapy. So I'm cool on that. And then right
before Success Becomes Me, the universe started really revealing to
me just how limiting my license was something that I
(22:10):
could not see because I was so attached to it.
But it's just like there was this vision of you're
going global, like you're going to be a nomad and
you're going to travel all around the world and do
the work that you're doing with your family, and you
cannot do that as a therapist. I need you to
be willing to go down this path, and so coming
into success becomes me. I had gotten some spiritual ass
(22:34):
whippings is what I like to call them, and literally
right before oh my god, literally right before I came
in so Okay. I think the timeline was I found
out about the state of Oklahoma and some laws that
they were changing, and those laws went against every single
ounce of my integrity as a professional. And I'm just like,
(22:57):
I'm not doing that, And to me Poverse, it's like,
you're right, you're not doing that. So this is how
this relates to what I'm doing with you. You need
to let it go. Then I had a crossover where
a coaching client and a therapy client knew each other
and there was a confidentiality issue and I navigated it
(23:19):
the best way that I could. But that was the
first ever in fourteen years of practice that that had
happened again. The universe was slapping me left and right, like, bitch,
you were going to listen and you're coming at some point.
So then when I walked into you, it was just
like I had reached out to a colleague my husband
had connected me with. She was like the networking guru,
(23:41):
and she's gonna get you on all these spaces and
you know, I can put you in front of all
these people. Great, great, great, and I'm with her, and
to me, it was just another aspect of fake and phony.
And I'm just like, see all the more reason why
I need to stay where I'm at, because this is
not the space for me. These people don't get it.
Nobody is moving from integrity, nobody is moving from truth.
(24:03):
Nobody is truly creating change. We're just swimming in these
buckets and I don't I'm not interested in that. I'll
stay where I'm at. Fast forward, girl, And I think
I've told you the story. I get up the morning
at your conference. I bought my TICKEI I got everything,
and I'm like, oh man, why did I say yes
to this? I don't feel like going to this. This
is gonna be more the same olbs. Ain't nobody really
(24:25):
doing nothing, But I'm going because I'm trying to lean
into this thing and trust the process. So I load
up my whole little bag. I got all my laptop
and my notebooks and my snacks and my t's. I'm
gonna sit here and I'm gonna get some work done.
I'm gonna get all of my ad me and stuff
taken care of. So I walked into the drove. I
had to drive from Broken Arrow to downtown Tulsa in traffic,
(24:48):
mad and angry and bitter and bitching the whole way,
like why.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Why get me down there?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And I can't find the parking, I can't find the intro,
so just compounding on me why this is all stupid
and why I just need to stay where I'm at.
I walk into the conference and again really trying to
just resist all of the resistance in me, like trying
my best to grab a hold of the wheel. And
(25:16):
there was a part that was like we're not going,
We're just gonna sit in the back and nobody even
know we're here. And then I think I saw three
people that I knew from my Chase days as soon
as I walked in, which moved me into connecting with
people immediately. That was the universe, absolutely the universe, and
so I said, okay, we're gonna sit up front. I
grabbed the table. Just so happened it ends up being
(25:37):
the table with all a lot of the other speakers
and MC's of the day. And by between your opening
and the Mystic Lady, the Mystic Lad her top I
was so completely open after the two of you hit
the stage that it wasn't open, that there was no
(25:59):
way to that the universe was moving in that space
for me because I was so resistant and so adamant
and so this is this is not it, and it
was it. It was it.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
There's I think there's some sort of quote somewhere that's
like either everything is a Quinn like is the universe working?
Or nothing is the universe working? And what I love
about that story is that it was just like no
matter the like fucking temper tantrum that you put up,
and that like inner part of you that was like
(26:33):
this is bullshit, right, and like I mean, come on,
how many times have we all done that? I know, like,
oh man, I've done that so many times, and the
universe was just it was like a patient parent that
was like, come on, you're gonna have fun. I promise,
I know what I'm doing. And I remember you walked
(26:53):
up to me. I think I had either just gotten
off stage or like Danielle had just finished up and
I was telling everyone to take a break or something,
and you walked up to me and you just like
started crying, And then I think I started crying, and
you were like, this is exactly what I needed. And
it was just such a magical moment. So the universe
(27:14):
broke you open and showed you continuously like what you
didn't want and where it was leading you. So it
can be really hard in those moments to then be like, Okay,
so this conference is over. Like now what, I'm still
waking up every single day in my reality. I still
have to on Monday morning face all my therapy clients.
(27:35):
I still like, I don't have income coming in from
this new business.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yet.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's that like you're then almost straddling these two worlds,
one foot in the new world, one foot in the
old world. How did you navigate that? How did you
keep getting up every day and continue to pour more
energy into your new world than to let the old
world kind of like suck you back in.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, fortunately I had all read I had by the
time I met you. I believe I had an end
date to therapy. No, I take that back. I did
not have an in date to therapy. You pushed my
hand on getting an in date to therapy. What I
had was I had stopped accepting clients. That was like
my first bridge of Okay, I won't accept any more clients.
(28:20):
I'm only going to work these days. I'm at capacity
these treatment. These clients are at least going to be
in need for another six months. These clients are going
to be in need for about another year, and these
clients maybe a year and a half, and then I
think at that point I'll be able to kind of
So I had stopped accepting clients, which was a huge
step for me. So immediately after the conference, there was
(28:42):
this this awkwardness of Okay, I want to reach out
to Breed, but am my reaching out to her as
her friend? Am I reaching out to her to hire her?
Like there was this draw towards you and I just again,
the universe is moving me and I don't know what
because I'm not one to start new friendships. I'm not
one to meet new people, like I like my Space,
I'm an introvert and I'm good. So it's like you
(29:05):
got me out of her network, and like, what am
I calling for? My calling to be a homeland my
colin to.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Hire her, like I can't afford her?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
And so I think we met for coffee. And when
we met for coffee, I had no idea where we
were going. I didn't meet you for coffee with the
intent of hiring you. I met you for coffee feeling
like that's the next thing I've met somebody. It was
a great contact, it was a great experience. I'm supposed
to follow up schedule of coffee and then from there,
(29:34):
I guess something will happen. And so I did that
just being led inspired action. We met, and I'll be
completely honest, that first meeting, I'm just like, I don't
know how that went, Like I don't know because I
don't know what my point is. I don't know what
my purpose is. But anyway that led into me hiring
you to coach me, and even hiring you to coach me,
(29:55):
my current reality was like I can afford it, but
can I really? I got the money right now. But
I could hold onto that money, what would I do
with it? And so a lot of the same, just
internal work, having those internal powows and come to Jesus
moments like I like to call them, with everybody coming forward,
(30:18):
every fear being acknowledged, every fear having space held for it,
every part of me that carries that fear being loved
on and being nurtured, and moment by moment managing myself.
You know, I could clearly we are being led somewhere,
and when we can just lean into the moments where
we're being led, those moments feel amazing and really chasing
(30:41):
more of the amazing. Is what really kept me going
was like, Okay, that was hard to get there. We
got there, and if like with the conference, that was
shitty leading up, but we got there, and look at
how amazing that was and how impactful that was, not
just with all of the information that we learned, all
of the tips and techniques that we learned, but the
(31:01):
people that we met. There were so many other people
in that room that I've connected with outside of you.
So and then again that one foot in the old
and one foot in the new is a survival strategy
for me and like you took you saying those words
right now, is the universe speaking through you? In my opinion,
because that's how I performed before. In my early teens
(31:24):
and in my early twenties. Everything was one foot in
and one foot out, like always looking for the next thing,
always trying to find my escape, whether it was a
relationship or a job or whatever. Never wanting to be stuck.
So scared shitless of getting tethered down to somebody, you know.
And so that was my moo all the time. And
so when I got to that point where I was
(31:44):
doing coaching and therapy, that vision and that revelation came up.
That love, this was how you've always functioned, and that
is a part of you that we need to work
on and we need to evolve because I need you
all in this next season. Life is not about mentalizing.
It's not about hold, it's not about code switching, it's
(32:05):
not about any of those things. Every single space that
you're gonna walk into in your future, you're gonna walk
into that full and expansive, and I need you to get.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
On board with this.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
So that was and then not long after that, I
hired you and we started working together and you were
just like, I need an end date by this day.
And girl talk about ego going Banana's parts going loco,
Like inside of here, it was complete and utter chaos
(32:36):
because that was another level of commitment, that was another
level of being all in, and that was another level
of saying yes. And it was scary as hell, but again,
I've met my superpower is kind of just turning all
that into fuel and just again asking why, like what
are we afraid of? And instead of focusing on our
(32:59):
health space for the things that I was afraid of.
But then on the other side of that, the same
way I would sit in meditation and deal with all
of the negative stuff. I would sit in meditation and
dreaming and it's like, Okay, now we've gone through all
of the fears and all of the worst case scenarios,
but what are the best case scenarios? Like what could
possibly happen if we really go through this and we
(33:20):
explore this could what could become of it? And what
kind of life could we live? And not only what
could we live, but what would we want to live?
And so I started doing a lot of visualizations around
that time, which were things that I hadn't really incorporated
into my spiritual journey, and a lot of manifesting work
around that time, and all of those things started to
help just kind of release that fear.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Love it. I have more questions about that, but I
want to again highlight something that you said, because oftentimes
when we think about like, oh, I have this new vision, okay,
then I have to just like close the door and
shut down everything I'm doing right now to like go
towards this new thing. And what I talk about in
Permission to Leap and in general is everything is a journey.
(34:02):
So what I love is that you knew that it
was time to walk away from therapy. But what you
did was you gave yourself a runway. So summer of
twenty three you said I'm not taking on any new clients.
That was the first step. Then, you know, eight nine
months later, I was like pick an end date, right,
that was the next step. And it wasn't tomorrow. It
(34:25):
was this client's going to be with me for a
year and a half. That's going to give me eighteen
months to phase them out, and then by that time
I'll be one hundred percent into the new reality. So
for anyone listening, I just ask you, what does it
look like for you to give yourself a runway? And
what are some decisions you can put in place now
(34:45):
that are going to help you get there. That's not
you paralyzed because you're trying to burn all the boats
and like strand yourself on an eyeline and with no resources.
What is one step you can take today? Define what
that runway looks like for so that you know when
you're at the end of the runway and it's time
to go. So when you're doing this, parts work, like
(35:06):
you said, like chaos inside all these fears popping up
a lot of people. I talk to those fears basically
like take the keys to the car. They let the
fears drive and they let them just have full rain.
If you're listening to this and thinking I wish I
had more people in my life who just get it,
(35:28):
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the ones dreaming big, defying norms, and refusing to settle.
And that is exactly why I created the Big Goal
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(35:50):
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Speaker 2 (36:27):
How have you.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Figured out the difference between your fear and your higher self?
And then what do you do to not let the
fears lead but instead let that higher vision, higher self
alignment part of you be the one to make the
decisions to move forward. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I think for me, it all goes back to again
the stillness and the space. You and I talked about
space recently, where I have the luxury and the privilege
of space at this season in my life, and that
has been the greatest gift that anybody could have ever
given me. But at that time, it was taking that
space and really sitting and learning how to respond versus
(37:10):
how to react internally. You only get it through actually
practicing it and being in it, but learning how to
respond and learning kind of the analogy from inside out
where at the very end that give anxiety the cup
of tea and they have her little chair. The analogy
I use is it's like a bus and my ego
is driving, and my true self is in the passenger seat.
(37:32):
And then I got all of my littles in the
back and everybody got a seat. Every now and then
somebody gets freaked out in the back and runs up
to the front and tries to grab the wheel. When
that part of me is trying to grab the wheel,
my ego has to stay focused, and my true self
then gets to come with end. So that protector part
of me is making sure we survive this and that
(37:54):
I can take that space and that it's not going
to be detrimental to everybody. And then it's literally a
matter of holding space like a nurturing mother. I give
them the time, I'm patient with them, I hold that space,
and then eventually I get them back to their seat,
I get them buckled in, I get them a snack,
I get them a juice pack, I get them the iPad,
I turn on their movie, and now they're settled, and
(38:16):
then I now get to come back to the front.
And so that is work that is constant for me.
Because even sixteen years later of being on my healing
journey and ten years of doing parts work, it doesn't
mean that I don't have the struggles. The fears still
pop up, the doubts still pop up, the old memories
still pop up. But as I get through and as
(38:37):
I heal and evolve, how we react to those and
respond to those continues to evolve. So a lot more
of just meditating and sitting and listening and truly truly
having dialogue and conversations with myself and truly establishing a
solid relationship with myself. Those are the most powerful things.
And then as far as just like my fear versus
(38:59):
my true self, I won't say that my true self
doesn't have fear, but my true self is one between
I live now where I have instinct and intuition, ego
and true self, and so having that balance, I think
we want one or the other. We're either hardcore in
our ego because we're survival, or we're like fuck survival.
I just want to thrive. I want to be soft.
(39:21):
I don't want to have to do anything. I just
want to live in my feminine energy. And it's like,
you need both because if you can't survive a thing,
you're never gonna get the opportunity to thrive in a theme.
And so learning how to balance those two energies and
co lead from those energies has been the most impactful
for me at this season of my life. Ego dominance
(39:43):
was great. At one season, I built some beautiful shit,
But what I'm building now is a completely different vibe.
It's a completely different energy, and it requires both to
be fully engaged and both to be fully present.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So the question that comes up for me about that
is household. So you said it's a different vibe, a
different energy, So walk us through, like, how is it different?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
It's a confidence I believe. My experience shows me that
when I am in my ego energy and I am
operating from that place, I am operating from insecurity. And
most of us think when we are operating from ego,
we're operating from some stance of confidence because we're taking
(40:25):
action and we're doing things. But my ego was one
of the most insecure parts of me, and my ego
was activated by all of the memories and all of
the fears, and so now moving into a season where
I'm more balanced. I won't say I'm all the way there,
but there's a balance inside of me. I can walk
into a moment and feel fear and not be consumed
(40:48):
by it. I can walk into a moment and have
doubt and not get stuck in it. I can have
a moment where I've surrendered to the uncertainty of the
universe because she's never going to show me her full hand,
but still trust and move forward. And it's not something
that sounds good, it's something that is truly embodied within
me where I can I can feel the doubt and
(41:11):
still trust the process. So it's a balance that would
be balance and confidence.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I think that there are a lot of people out
there that believe that success means being without fear, and
success means being without doubt, and success means being without uncertainty.
What you're saying is you've stepped more into success. All
three of those things are still very present.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Absolutely yes, Because I think we assume that there's going
to be this place, this final destination, that when we
get there will have all the answers and it'll all
make sense, and success means that I finally, for once
and for all, figured it all out, and that has
not been my story or my journey. Success for me
is like in a failure in coming out of the darkness,
(41:59):
in trusting the process, even though I questioned it the
entire way through my conversation we talked about in our
last book club. My conversations with the universe are like, Yo,
what's up what we're doing? Because I don't this done.
I'm confused, But I've learned how to do that and
still be like, but.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm fucking with you.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I'm moving with you because you've shown me that you're
gonna always come through and that if I do the work,
I'm gonna get to the other side and there's going
to be a beautiful payoff. So I trust that and
I move forward anyway. But no, there's always doubt us.
You mentioned us doing the hypnosis. You know there's a
part of me that still procrastinates even though I'm all
in on this journey. Now, the work is in nurturing
(42:43):
that part of me to the point that they are
willing to get in their seat with their snack and
their iPad and watch their movie. So me and my
ego can go do me and my husband can go
do what we need to do to move this family
to the next level. But I don't rush myself. And
I also don't just because the part of me procrastinates
and has it evolved yet doesn't mean I can't move
(43:04):
forward and I can't take steps while I am nurturing
that part of me and while I am getting that
part of me on board. The only difference is once
I am done nurturing that part of me and I've
also taken all of these steps, once she releases that control,
then I'm catapultic into the next because I've already been moving.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yeah. I find really interesting too, is this idea. So
a lot of people make their habits their identity as well.
And what I haven't heard you say is I am
a procrastinator. I don't know if that's part of your
practice as well, but it's been something that I have
been working on within myself. Is just because I have
(43:44):
a certain habit or just because I'm having a certain
experience right now, I'm not claiming ownership of it. I'm
not making it my identity. I'm able to, like you
settle detached and say, oh, there's this piece of myself
that's having an experience where she wants to procrastinate. But
(44:04):
that doesn't mean I am a procrastinator. Is that something
that you're conscious of or is that something that you
just inherently kind of do.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
No, it's a part of my work.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
It's a part of my overall work.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Because we have multiple personalities, all of us. We have
all of these different parts and they are moved by
different themes and different memories and different motives. And so
when a part of me is coming forward, not only one,
it's not me. It's a part of me. And yes,
as a part of me, that does play into who
(44:37):
I am, but it is not the totality of who
I am. And in the event that it is something
that is detrimental to me, that means that it is
a part of me that has not had the opportunity
to grow and evolve from how they self protect. And
so my job is to get them to evolve into
a place where they understand that they are already safe
(44:57):
and they no longer need to self protect. And that
between me and the ego, our family is now intact,
the husband and the wife, the mother and the father.
We are back together. You are no longer only being
led by your father, and he is no longer this
emotionally unavailable father. Like we are together and we're nurturing
you and we've got this. But no, they're parts of me,
(45:19):
and those parts of me are moving from old beliefs
and old memories and not only my current self, but
my current self is the totality of everything. Where my
true self and my ego and my opinion, they are
my identity. Those that's who I am. I am my
ego because even though they were conditioned reactions, you couldn't
have got them out of me if they weren't already
(45:41):
in me. You know, some people will fall to the fear.
I didn't. I challenged the fear. That is who I am.
So I think we look at ego as if it's
a trauma response and it's not who we are. But
those are my instincts, baby, And I'm taking full credit
for that because I love my ego. I love how
I responded in a moment when my back was up
against the wall. My true self, my intuition, that is
(46:03):
who I am. That is who I was born to
be and who I was created to be. Even though
she may not have been fluid in my life up
until now, but now they both get to live and
they're both valuable as fuck to me, and I love
them both tremendously. I'm getting emotional thinking about it, but
I love it. I love them.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
So let's wrap this up a little bit and say
that this is just a moment in your journey, right,
because this is not nowhere near the end. This is
part of I hate rags to riches stories because it's
just even so cliche to say. But every ending it
is like a new beginning.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
We've talked about where you were two years ago, what
your identity was two years ago, what your opportunity was
two years ago. You've gone through this amends transformation in
the last two years. You shut down your psychotherapy practice,
your full time in your coaching, slash fashion, slash art, slash,
(47:00):
everything that is GEN rolled up into one big business.
Who is the GEN today? And I know you introduced
yourself at the beginning with a lot of this stuff,
but like, talk to us about that identity shift because
we heard it from two years ago. Talk to us
about the identity shift that you're embodying today.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah, today I am I like you know me. I
always like to start with what I'm not. I am
no longer riddled with anxiety. I am no longer trapped
in fear and resistance. I have found a level of
balance and a level of peace, a level of surrender
and flow in this journey. I am able to move
(47:40):
through my life and not feel moved and rushed and
ping ponged through my day anymore. I see me, and
I truly understand how every aspect of my journey has
come into this moment and is embodied within me, and
I get to live that out. I am more rebellious
than I I have ever been in my life. It's
(48:02):
a whole different level and a whole different vibe of rebelion.
Now I am tapping back into my creativity. I am
giving myself permission to simply be what is on me
to be. I am no longer at the mercy of
the opinions of others. Doesn't mean I don't question, it
doesn't mean it doesn't make me hesitate from time to time,
(48:24):
but I'm no longer controlled by that. I'm no longer
trying to show up in the world in a way
that can control how people see me and that could
put me in a position to feel and be and
represent something superior. I've done that shit, I did it.
So I have immense privilege in my life today and
time privileged, location privilege, body privilege, like I just have
(48:45):
an immense amount of privilege in my life. And I
am so fucking excited to see what the universe and
I do next, because we've already done some amazing things.
And it's just great to be at a point in
my life where I can truly, one hundred percent without hesitation,
say that if I died today, I would be okay.
I've done everything that I told myself I would do.
(49:08):
I made sure not to become or do the things
that I said I wouldn't become or do. I kept
my promises to myself. I have an amazing husband, I
have an amazing relationship with myself, with my partner, with
my children. I have met come to terms and peace
with people from my past. I've learned how to love
and let people be. I no longer love from a
(49:29):
place of control. I understand boundaries, like so much of
who I am today is not who I was, and
so I'm just moving through. I'm in flow. I guess
I'm just in a flow and I'm in a state
of surrender and I'm really excited to see what comes next.
I'm no longer chasing, I'm no longer hustling and grinding.
(49:50):
Doesn't mean I'm not ambitious or that I have these
great things that I want to do, because I will
complete the mission that the universe chose me to create
and to complete. But it's just an end internal slow.
Even if my day is chaos, internally, I'm slow. And
that wasn't the case. It was externally it was chaos,
and internally it was chaos. And now I have managed
(50:12):
to create peace and here so that even if it's
chaos out there, it doesn't move me anymore. There's it
just doesn't. And it's crazy to say. Whyn't ask me
the other day he was like, you really aren't stressed,
and I'm like, no, I'm not. I see the problem,
and I know we got to do something about the problem,
but I'm not stressed. Like it's going to work out.
(50:33):
We were both created to do something great, and you
can't tell me that we're both having these same experiences
for no reason. We're having these same experiences because we're
being led somewhere beautiful, and I need you to get
on board so we can get to this place this beautiful.
So I love that put your question.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Well, and I think that's a point that a lot
of people don't get to, is that we're really conditioned
to again, like, let that external reality dictate one who
we are on the inside, the possibilities that are available
to us, the realities that we think we can or
cannot create right our emotional state, our reactivity are like
(51:12):
Abraham Hicks refers to this as living unconditionally, and that
no matter what conditions are happening outside of us, that
we're able to have that strength, that alignment, that knowing,
that intuition, like all of those things within us, regardless
of the chaos, regardless of the stressors, regardless of all
(51:33):
of those things. One of the things you said is
something that you and I could do an entirely separate,
full fifty five minute episode on, and that is the
idea of being ambitious and having big goal energy without
the hustle, without sacrificing yourself in the process. Would you
(51:53):
wrap us up with one thing that has helped you
hold the both and in this how do you have
big goal energy and have ambitions without letting it overrun
you or override you, or take you back into that
hustle or like get you back into those old ways
of operating.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah, I think for me, it's it's really seeing myself
and I think if people could do that, we would
move out of a lot of the imposter syndrome too.
It's you talk about it the proof, having proof, like
I have so much fucking proof about how dope I am.
Like I have so much fucking proof that I'm chosen.
I have so much fucking proof that I am destined
(52:32):
for greatness, Like I have the proof now and I
trust the proof. I'm no longer arguing with the proof
or rejecting the proof or trying to disclaim the proof.
I accept the fucking proof that I am awesome, and
that allows me to lean into moments of I wasn't
always awesome, you know, to be able to sit here
and say this shit to you, I did so many things.
(52:54):
So I think for me, it's trusting that I've done
enough and trusting that for whatever when I'm locked in
with the universe, I've done my part and I continue
to do my part. That allows me to settle that
allows me to trust, and that allows me to stay
in my lane. I've learned what my lane is and
what the universe's lane is, and I am no longer
(53:16):
putting my foot all on her side, like you got that, baby,
and I'm gonna trust you and I hold her accountable
to that now. But for me, I can only speak
for me. It's being able to look in my past
and say, holy shit, jan you fucking did it.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Now it's next.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
That gives me so much freedom and so much peace
to no longer have to hustle like I hustled because
I was running and I needed to get away and
I needed space between me and that thing. I have
put enough fucking distance and enough fucking space between me
and that thing that there is no way, no shape
or form, that that thing can ever get me, or
(53:52):
that I would ever be caught up and become that thing.
So I now get to rest in that and I
think where some of it just get it wrong. It's
like I'm and again, this is just me. There is
a part of the journey where you have to sacrifice.
There is a part of the journey where you have
to pay your dues, where you have to show the
universe that when she pulls your hand, you're gonna play
(54:13):
it right. And so for me, I've done that, and
she's confirmed for me that I've done that. So I'm cool,
Like I don't. I ain't got a rush at this point.
Now it's just I've got I got everything I need.
Now it's just how big can I get? How great
could it be? What did you really create me for?
And then that thing, too is surrendering to the fact
that I am ambitious. I am great because I was
(54:37):
created to do something very specific and that thing has
evolved over my lifetime. So even embracing the fact that
I was I am chosen. Every single human is chosen
to be here, and I'm gonna complete the mission because
again I'm ambitious, right, I want to do the thing.
So if you chose me to do something, then I'm
(54:58):
by all means I'm gonna do that shit and I'm
going to see it to the very end. In my
last s breats, So that would be how I've leaned
into the letting go of the hustle and embracing the
flow of the thing is really stepping into what I've
been chosen to do and what I've already accomplished beautiful.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Well, first I'm gonna drop two resources quick before we
wrap up. So the first one for anyone that was like, okay, cool,
Jen got to go to this amazing conference, like two
years ago, why wasn't I invited?
Speaker 2 (55:29):
And last year I've been twice now in both years
has been transformative.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Jen actually got to speak this past year, so it's
very exciting. So Success Becomes Me is coming back March
of twenty twenty six. So we're all gathering in New Orleans,
y'all in New Orleans on Friday, March thirteenth, twenty twenty six.
We're going to have a day of activations. It's becoming
(55:55):
an anti conference, not a conference. Day of activations. We're
going to spend a day practicing our future. Like I'm
creating the trailer for it right now, and it opens
with when's the last time you practiced your future? Like
I'm spent a whole day practicing our future. And then
that night we're all gonna get together and we're literally
gonna have a ball, an actual legitimate New Orleans style ball.
(56:18):
I spoke with a burlesque performer this weekend. We're gonna
get tarot readers, We're gonna get fire throwers. We're gonna
I mean, it is gonna be a ball, and it's
gonna be a future self ball. So we're gonna have
spent all day practicing our future and then we're gonna
get to show up as our future selves that night.
So if you're like, great, where do I get tickets?
Early bird tickets are available right now. Success becomes Me
(56:41):
dot com. There is a limited number of early bird tickets.
So if you're like, this is my jam, I get that.
It's a year away. Get your fucking tickets. We've already
sold an eighth of the tickets. Yeah, we sold an
eighth of the tickets eighteen months before the event. So
you want an early bird ticket, price will go up,
so grab your early bird ticket. Success becomes me dot com. Secondly,
(57:04):
I want to invite you all to the new Big
Goal Energy app. Hello.
Speaker 2 (57:09):
Yeah, it's already ready.
Speaker 1 (57:11):
Well so as of right now, it's not already ready,
but by the time this episode comes out, so y'all
are listening in the future, in the future, it will
be out already. Okay, Yeah, you can visit pre seally
dot com slash community. It's on iOS, it's on Android,
and there's a web version, so you can find conversations
about this episode. You can find resources. Jen's going to
(57:34):
be in there, you can talk to her. I'm so excited,
so pre sallyite dot com slash community. Thank you Jen
so much. I know that we've said this to each
other many times, but like, I'm just so grateful that
eighteen months ago our paths crossed and that you came
up to me. I still vividly I don't remember much
from that first success becomes me because my body was
shut down and I was in fight or flight mode
(57:56):
of just mentally and emotionally. I vividly remember you coming
up to me and standing in front of me and
telling me your experience within the first two hours of
the conference. And I'm just so grateful that I've been
witnessed to this identity shift within you and been able
to even lend just like a little bit of inspiration
(58:18):
or perspective on this journey, because I also know that
you're destined for greatness, and I am incredibly honored to
be one of the humans walking beside you in your
journey towards that greatness. Like it's just been so cool
to witness this evolution within you, and I just want
to say congratulations. So if you need more proof for
(58:40):
your list today, you can just write this down as
part of your proof for today. I will do that.
Speaker 2 (58:45):
Love. Thank you for showing up in all of your gifts,
just as the universe intended you to show up for me,
being authentically who you are, because if you were not that,
it would not have worked. So I appreciate you, sister.
Speaker 1 (58:58):
For anyone who's listening, if you're not yet subscribed, make
sure to hit the button on whatever platform you are
enjoying this episode on. Thank you all so much for
joining me and Jen for this week's episode of Big
Goal Energy. Go out, y'all and like claim your vision. Yes,
just claim it, and I promise it's going to be messy,
(59:18):
but I also promise that women like Jen and I
are going to be there if you need guidance or
encouragement or support to like help make it a little
less messy for you, because I will tell you it's
fucking worth it.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Absolutely absolutely, I wouldn't have it any other way. Same,
thank you, Thank you Low.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
If this episode lit something up and you share it,
text it to a friend, post it to your stories
or leave a review. Because big goal energy is meant
to be felt far and wide, and if you're ready
to go deeper, explore the tools, hypnosis, sessions and support.
Because your vision deserves more than hustle, join us on
the big Goal Energy by visiting your app store and
(01:00:02):
typing in Big Goal Energy. Your vision, your goals deserve alignment, ease,
and your fullest self behind them Until next time, Trust yourself,
dream bigger, and never forget you are here for greatness
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