Stoned Camping Chaos: Ants, Laughs, and Wilderness Fails!

Hey there, fellow tokers and story lovers! Buckle up for a wild ride through one of the most hilariously disastrous camping trips you'll ever hear about.

So picture this: Me, fresh out of college, thinking I'm some kind of wilderness expert because I watched a few survival documentaries and owned a fancy REI backpack. My buddy Jake convinced me to join him on this "epic wilderness adventure" in the mountains of Colorado. I'm talking serious backcountry stuff - no cell service, no civilization, just pure nature and our questionable survival skills.

We roll up to this remote trailhead with enough snacks to feed a small army and enough weed to make Cheech and Chong proud. I've got my fancy new portable vaporizer, Jake's got his classic glass piece, and we're feeling like absolute outdoor kings. First mistake.

About two miles into the hike, I'm already sweating through every piece of clothing I own. The backpack feels like it's filled with concrete, and Jake's talking about how this is "totally going to be epic." Pro tip: Whenever someone says something is going to be "epic," prepare for disaster.

By mile three, we realize we might have slightly underestimated our navigation skills. The trail map looks like it was drawn by a drunk toddler, and my phone's GPS is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. We're definitely not where we're supposed to be, but hey - we've got weed and an adventurous spirit!

As the sun starts setting, we decide to set up camp in this beautiful clearing. Sounds perfect, right? Wrong. Turns out, we pitched our tent directly on what I can only describe as an ant metropolis. These weren't just any ants - these were tactical, organized, and definitely not happy about our intrusion.

The next few hours became a comedic battle between two stoned dudes and an entire ant civilization. We're talking military-grade ant attacks, strategic tent defense, and more paranoid giggles than a comedy special. At one point, Jake was convinced we could communicate with the ants through interpretive dance.

By midnight, we'd eaten all our emergency snacks, used half our water to try and negotiate with the ant overlords, and were pretty much accepting our fate as honorary members of the ant kingdom.

Moral of the story? Maybe stick to car camping. Or at least bring better navigation skills. And definitely more snacks.

Question of the week: What's your most ridiculous outdoor adventure? Drop me a message and let me know!

Next week, we're diving into a story that involves a pizza, three raccoons, and a very confused Uber driver. Trust me, you won't want to miss it.

Stay lifted, stay awesome!



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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, fellow tookers and story lovers. Buckle up for
a wild ride through one of the most hilariously disastrous
camping trips you'll ever hear about. So picture this me,
fresh out of college, thinking I'm some kind of wilderness
expert because I watched a few survival documentaries and owned
a fancy ARII backpack. My buddy Jake convinced me to

(00:21):
join him on this epic wilderness adventure in the mountains
of Colorado. I'm talking serious backcountry stuff, no cell service,
no civilization, just pure nature and are questionable survival skills.
We roll up to this remote trailhead with enough snacks
to feed a small army and enough weed to make
Cheech and Chong proud. I've got my fancy new portable vaporizer,

(00:43):
Jake's got his classic glass piece, and we're feeling like
absolute outdoor kings. First mistake. About two miles into the hike,
I'm already sweating through every piece of clothing I own.
The backpack feels like it's filled with concrete, and Jake's
talking about how this is totally.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Going to be epic. A fro tip whenever someone says
something is going to be epic a p prepare for disaster.
By mile three, we realized we might have slightly underestimated
our navigation skills. The trail map looks like it was
drawn by a drunk toddler, and my phone's GPS is
about as useful as a chocolate teapot. We're definitely not

(01:23):
where we're supposed to be, but hey, we've got weed
and an adventurous spirit. As the sun starts setting, we
decide to set up camp in this beautiful clearing. Sounds perfect, right,
Wrong turns out we pitched our tent directly on what
I can only describe as an ant metropolis. These weren't
just any ants. These were tactical, organized, and definitely not

(01:46):
happy about our intrusion. The next few hours became a
comedic battle between two stone dudes and an entire ant civilization.
We're talking military grade ant attacks, strategic tent defense, and
more paranoid giggles than a comedy special. At one point,
Jake was convinced we could communicate with the ants through
interpretative dance. By midnight, we'd eaten all our emergency snacks,

(02:09):
used half our water to try and negotiate with the
ant overlords and we're pretty much accepting our fate as
honorary members of the ant Kingdom. Moral of the story,
maybe stick to car camping, or at least bring better
navigation skills and definitely more snacks. Question of the week,
what's your most ridiculous outdoor adventure? Drop me a message

(02:30):
and let me know. Next week, we're diving into a
story that involves a pizza, three raccoons, and a very
confused Uber driver.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Trust me, you won't want to miss it. Stay lifted,
Stay awesome,