"Stoned Camping Fiasco: Unprepared in the Wild!"

Hey there, fellow herb enthusiasts! Buckle up for a wild ride through one of the most ridiculous camping trips I've ever experienced.

So picture this: Me, my buddy's beat-up Subaru Outback, and an absolutely terrible idea to go camping in the middle of nowhere during hunting season. First mistake? Thinking camouflage pants would somehow make me blend in with anything except a surplus store mannequin.

We arrived at this remote campsite somewhere in the Cascades, and immediately I realized I'd forgotten like, everything. Matches? Nope. Proper sleeping bag? Absolutely not. Tent stakes? Ha! We were basically glamping, if glamping meant slowly freezing to death while surrounded by pine trees and my own terrible life choices.

As the evening rolled in, we decided to light up and enjoy the wilderness. Big mistake. Turns out, when you're super baked in the woods, every single sound becomes a potential bear, mountain lion, or serial killer scenario. Every rustling leaf was basically a horror movie soundtrack. My paranoia went into overdrive, and I'm convinced a raccoon was definitely plotting my demise.

Around midnight, things got truly bizarre. I was convinced we needed to "communicate with nature" - which basically meant me whispering increasingly ridiculous things to trees and expecting some profound response. My buddy just watched, somewhere between hysterical laughter and genuine concern.

The real comedy hit when I tried to make our campfire. Picture this: A completely stoned guy, no matches, just pure determination and a Bic lighter. After about 45 minutes of dramatically rubbing two sticks together like some kind of deranged Boy Scout, we finally got a tiny flame. Celebration was short-lived when I promptly dropped our only pack of hot dogs into the dirt.

Breakfast the next morning? Dirt-covered, slightly charred hot dogs and pure desperation. I've never been so happy to see a gas station convenience store in my entire life.

Here's this week's listener challenge: What's your most hilariously unprepared outdoor adventure? Drop your stories in the comments or hit us up on social media.

Next week, we're diving into a tale that involves edibles, a suburban neighborhood watch meeting, and some seriously questionable decisions. Trust me, you won't want to miss it.

Stay lifted, stay curious, and always pack your matches.



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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, fellow herb enthusiasts. Buckle up for a wild
ride through one of the most ridiculous camping trips I've
ever experienced. So picture this me, my buddies, beat up
Subaru out back, and an absolutely terrible idea to go
camping in the middle of nowhere during hunting season. First mistake,
thinking camouflage pants would somehow make me blend in with

(00:20):
anything except a surplus store Mannikin. We arrived at this
remote campsite somewhere in the Cascades, and immediately I realized
I'd forgotten like everything matches Nope, proper sleeping bag absolutely
not ten stakes ha. We were basically glamping, if glamping

(00:41):
meant slowly freezing to death while surrounded by pine trees
in my own terrible life choices. As the evening rolled in,
we decided to light up and enjoy the wilderness. Big mistake.
Turns out, when you're super baked in the woods, every
single sound becomes a potential bear, mountain, lion, or serial
killer scenario. Every rustling leaf was basically a horror movie soundtrack.

(01:03):
My paranoia went into overdrive, and I'm convinced a raccoon
was definitely plotting my demise. Around midnight, things got truly bizarre.
I was convinced we needed to communicate with nature, which
basically meant me whispering increasingly ridiculous things to trees and
expecting some profound response. My buddy just watched, somewhere between
hysterical laughter and genuine concern. The real comedy hit when

(01:26):
I tried to make our campfire picture this a completely
stone guy, no matches, just pure determination and a bit lighter.
After about forty five minutes of dramatically rubbing two sticks
together like some kind of deranged boy scout, we finally
got a tiny flame. Celebrity was short lived when I
promptly dropped our only pack of hot dogs into the dirt.

(01:47):
Breakfast the next morning dirt covered, slightly charred hot dogs
and pure desperation. I've never been so happy to see
a gas station convenience store in my entire life. Here's
this week's Listener challenge. What's your most hilariously unprepared outdoor adventure?
Drop your stories in the comments or hit us up
on social media. Next week, we're diving into a tale

(02:10):
that involves edibles. A suburban neighborhood watch meeting and some
seriously questionable decisions. Trust me, you won't want to miss it.
Stay lifted, stay curious, and always pack your matches.