Ep 23: "My hairline was in my towel" with Carlos Anthony

Jay welcomes Carlos Anthony who bombed at the Bronner Bros. International Beauty Show!

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Fucking Boo. Hey, what's up? Everybody? Welcome to fucking Boo Bombing
Stories with Big Irish Jay and myguest today, good buddy of mine.
Uh has a special out on AmazonPrime called Part Time Famous Carlos Anthony.
What's up, Carlos? Hey,what's happening? What's happening? I'm no

(00:28):
idea of this? Uh so whatwas going down? Man? What is
your bombing story? Hey? Man? You know, as a comic,
we always we should have multiple bombingstories, but there's always one that stands
out, uh in your imagination,not even the imagination, because it was

(00:49):
fucking reality. Uh in your reality. It just kind of is quintessential to
the bombing of a of a lifetime. And mine was earlier. One man,
listen, so this is the wayfor this one. This was so
outset the stage. It's get herthe little pieces. Man. This was
in front of twenty five hundred peopleat the Barner Brothers hair show. Oh

(01:17):
so, so I won't to knowanything about it. This was early on
in my career. So man,man, we're probably knocking on maybe seventeen
sixteen, seventeen years Okay, allright, and go on. You were
saying about the hair show. Forpeople that don't know about it, go
aheadactly. So people who don't knowabout the Barn Barner I think it's Barner
Brothers hair show. It is afully black event where when we come together

(01:42):
to talk about the weeds and thenew hairstyles and watch barbers do their thing.
But this was like a like aconvention, so it's people from everywhere
to come in for this particular eventand it's major. So my barber at
the time, I was like,hey, man, you coming man.
I saw a couple of shows.Man, I'm gonna get you on the
show. I'm thinking, oh man, shoot, this is this is dope.

(02:06):
That again the prefaces by saying,I'm early on in my career,
right man, this ship is easy. This is this is nothing. He's
like, I was how much hoya you ever to do? It was
like maybe twenty five thirty minutes.It was like, oh cool, I
got I got that, just likeeveryone does. Oh I got that.
So I'm like all right. Sono preparation and no preparation for this.

(02:27):
I thought I was just gonna goup there and start talking. But let
me let me backstory this. Itold you. My barber set this up
right right. So this was backin the days with my hairline and for
those of you, I don't havea hairline now, it's just completely gone.
But this was when my hairline waswas starting to starting to fade over
in the corners. So this wasin the in the in the Steve Harvey
time, you had the hold whereyou could get to you. This was

(02:52):
before yeah, you can get aunit or you could just spread in,
you know, spread in, andthey called it. They called it Beijing.
So I was like, hey,man, listen, I can't go
on stage in front of twenty fivehundred people in murder if my hairline ain't
right. So go ahead and lookme up, spray me up, get
together. I already can't imagine wherethis is gonna go, but I can't

(03:14):
wait. Oh well yeah yeah yeah. So I was like, spray me
up, you know, put metogether. So my hairline was was crisp.
I mean, man, the linewas was was man, it was
on point. I had to aboutto stay a little beard. Now he
had this all lined up. Iwas like, man, oh man,
looks easy. Have my whole outfitready. So that that actually that I'm

(03:36):
sorta to interrupted. I was gonnasay that actually answers one of the questions
I was going to ask you iswhen you're saying that the hairline was starting
to go, but you were stilltrying to hold on to it. Almost
definitely, Yeah, you know,it was at that stage where I was
writing because I was like, Iknow this is this is getting bad.
My hairline is going further and furtherback. My barber doesn't have to come
around to the front to cut it. It's a problem. And so now

(03:58):
so now I'm like, okay,so he's to be up, got the
outfit, arrive at the show,and like I said, it's packed.
It's but it's on one of thosebig ass stages where it's high up and
the people go way back and theyhad the two big screens on the side
so you could see live what's goingon on stage. So I get up,

(04:18):
the host guds up there, hedoes his little time. It was
okay, I get up, juststart talking dead silence. I told you
how many people that I say hereit wasn't minimum minimum, not a sound.
What's going on? I don't knowwhat I was gonna say. So

(04:39):
they're they're being they're being perfect fora perfect audience for like a seminar.
Absolutely, but they're not. Butnot a laugh in the building. Not
a laugh in the building. Itwas complete silent. So this was probably
I told you that to do maybetwenty five to thirty minutes. I was

(05:00):
probably good. Two or three minutesin and I started sweating because a dude
yelled out, Hey man, thisdude sucks. But and it's so quiet,
so everybody can hear that, right, Oh, they heard it perfectly
clear. They heard it perfectly clear. And the lights were so bright that
I could not see past the firstof the first two rolls, and it
came further back, and so Icouldn't say. You can't, you can't.

(05:25):
You just can't say nothing to somebodyyou can't see. Oh yeah,
man, I don't know why that. Man. That's crazy. Man,
shit is crazy here. It's crazyout here. It's crazy out here.
This is crazy over again. Wow. So I'm trying to move to find

(05:50):
the angle so I can at leastsee who said it, so I can
at least try to come back.I can say something. But the spotlight
was following everywhere you went, soagain, now now I can't see him.
The spotlight is on I'm sweating.Now. I'm like, I don't
know where to go with this.And by that time I had a towel
in my head and I was like, okay, man, you gotta you

(06:12):
gotta, you gotta pay yourself.I'm probably three or four minutes he in,
you know, wipe the wipe thesweat off your head and let's try
to regroup. Take the towns.Oh boy, Yes, it's crazy out
here. That's what I was wonderingif that happened. So your whole hairline
is now in your towel. It'scoming down. It's coming down my forehead.

(06:36):
And if you look at the bigscreens on the side, you can
see because I was like, yeah, oh yeah, it's coming down.
It's coming down. It looked likelicorice, melted licorice was starting to come
down. And of course by thattime, people are starting to notice what
I'm noticing because they're looking at thescreen. So by that time, they're

(06:58):
laughing now because they're like, ohwow, somebody all out, Hey,
man, I think your hairline isfair. You need somebody to hook you
up, man. And it wasjust like an on slot. From there,
everybody started laughing and talking amongst themselves, but they weren't laughing at anything
I was saying, Jay, theywas laughing because my whole hairline was coming
down my forehead at that time.So I I think maybe I tried to

(07:21):
last another six or seven minutes ifthat. But I was like, all
right, y'all, I tell you, I think that's that's my time.
I think that's my time. Iliterally walked to the back, but at
that time, I was I was. I think I was the day the
marriage walked down the little steps,ran to the back, washed all that
ship out my head, and thentried to walk out into the audience and

(07:45):
act like like I didn't even knowwho that was on the stage. Yeah,
I would have instead of going tothe bathroom, I just just walked
out the exit. I should have. That was. That was the only
time I've ever cried during comedy.Like I literally crowded car because I literally
had to ride in the car withit. Think it was my wife at
the time. Uh D. Itwas just dead silence, you know that

(08:07):
this silence like you don't nobody cansay anything. You can't talk to me,
and I don't know anything. SoI'm just riding the car like and
I've lived that little single to you, dude. So that's what before you
started the story, that's what Iwas curious if that was gonna be or
or if you like started sweating andit came down. So I tell you,

(08:31):
you didn't feel it at all,and you didn't know until you wiped
with the towel. I didn't feelI knew I was sweating because it was
then it was heating up in there. I was like, man, I
didn't know where to go with it. So I was like, so,
I'm like, okay. So Iwas like, no, I didn't.
I didn't notice it until I lookeddown at the town. I was like,
wow, Wow, this is reallyhappening. Wow. I looked up

(08:52):
at the screens. You're just laughingbecause you know, like comics wow and
crazy, that's cray Wow here drinkwater, saw yelling out anything? Where
did you give it up for thetroops? Was there? Is there any

(09:16):
other any other comics on the lineup? Oh yeah, it was several other
comics on there, and they didn'tsay nothing to me. Matter of fact,
I think, oh my god,I forgot his name. And I
hate to say I forgot, buthe's the one of the dopest comics out
of Atlanta. Man, he justall he did was one of these looks
when like I was coming off,that's not cool. Buba no Sean.

(09:37):
I can't remember Sean's last name tosay, no, damn he Larkin,
Sehn Lark, okay, John Larkin. Now did they all do? Okay?
Oh? He Sean murdered. Seanmurdered. He's the fucking killer.
Where were you in the lineup?I was first. I was first,

(10:01):
so the host did will and thenI went up and ate it, and
then Sean went up and murdered andmurdered, which to this day, I
don't think he even remembers that becauseit was so long ago. Man,
but I don't think he was.I thought, you know that the quurt
essential black comic will come up androast the dude. Just it just got
out. I don't even think hesaid anything about it, because I mean,

(10:22):
what was left to be said.I it was already done. Sometimes
I won't like if somebody like bombsbadly. Sometimes I won't. I won't,
like, you know, roast themor address it, just because I'm
like, they took enough of abeating. I don't need to fucking add
to it. You know, sometimesyou just you have to though, like
to reset the room and ship likethat. But but god, that's fucking

(10:46):
brutal. Now in the moment,uh now now where you're so you've been
you've been doing stand up how long? Over? Eighteen up on? Nineteen
years now? Okay, so eighteennineteen years. Now if this, let's
say this was happening to you now, I mean I know you don't you
don't do the hairline shit or whatever. But by some somehow it's happening to

(11:09):
you. Now, how would haveyou How would you handle it differently?
Now? First, then, likeyou you're at the part where you swipe
and you see it, what wouldyou do now versus how you handled it
then? Well, first of all, I think I'm more prepared now,
and I think that was that wasthe key back then, as I came
into this game like a lot ofpeople do, and they're like, man,

(11:31):
I know this. Man, I'mfunny with my friends. I'm funny
at the law walla cooler, soman, I can go up here and
just talk about whatever. It's notlike that. So now I think I'm
more prepared to deal with with thedowntime. That happens when it starts getting
quiet, people started getting wrestless.You try to switch it up and at
least try to maybe maybe engage them, not from a heckling standpoint, but
just hey man, you know whereyou from, and then trying to peel

(11:52):
or pull something out of it.But I mean it's preparation. Man.
People think we don't prepare to beon stage. You have to of the
old estate preparation, preparation and perspirationfor you. Man, Listen, shit,
I was sliding profusely the three piecepreparation, perspiration and profusely profusely.

(12:16):
Yeah, Now what would you uhfrom that? I mean you kind of
answered it with that, but whatwould you I mean, immediately afterwards,
you're not thinking about like, Okay, what did I learn from this year?
Just just like you said, you'rein the car going did I make
the wrong career choice? What amI? I've been there. I think

(12:37):
I've told it on this this hon the Bombing podcast about I had a
like there was you know, there'sbeen different comics that are mentors to us
as you're coming up, And there'sthis one comic that when I moved from
Boston to Seattle. He was likea local headline around Seattle. So he
would take me out to feature.I say feature in quotes because he would
tell me he would just do.He would say, you know, do
as much time as you can,I'll cover the rest. So some times

(13:00):
I'd be doing only like ten minutes, twelve minutes or something, you know,
and then he would over the rest. But I remember we came back
from one show and I had abad set and he crushed. And I
remember and we were we were roommatesat the time, and he was in
his room. I was in myroom, and I remember just sitting there,
laying in my bed, just goingat the age I'm at right now,

(13:20):
is this I might have I mighthave really fucked up my life.
What am I doing with my dude? I was? It was like depression,
man, right. So I sayall that to say, like,
obviously, in the car with yourwife and not talking isn't the time.
But did you you know a fewa few days later or a few weeks
later, did you reflect and whatdid you learn from it? Absolutely?

(13:43):
Matter of fact, it took mybarber to kind of pull me out that
funk, because I was like,man, because again. I had thought
I let him down. I waslike, man, he was because he
was talking it up. He hadcome to a few shows and he's like,
man, you just got to getback to it. So it was
one of those situations where was like, man, do you do you how
bad do you really want it?How bad do you really want to be
in this game? How bad doyou really want to to progress and get

(14:07):
better? Because it's gonna happen.So he was like, man, you
just got to get back out there. He was like, I believe in
you, man, don't keep cuttingyour hair and and joking, which I
was like, look you the onefucked me up. Yeah, yeah,
you better. You should have givenme fucking free cuts, right because then
you didn't tell me you could drythat stuff in. I didn't know he
could be dried in at the time. He just prayed it all. But

(14:31):
the lesson was just, man,just you gotta get back on a horse
man and just just try to workit out. Yep. And dude,
you know what's funny is uh,I have alopecia areata. There's two alopecias,
ones like you get no hair,and then there's ones where you get
like these little circles where hair juststops growing, it comes and goes.
Uh. When I would get thosespots, sometimes i'd get him in my
beard, sometimes in my head.And when if I got him in my

(14:52):
beard, I used to use like, uh, it was like an eyeliner.
Uh, and I would color itin and then I'd take a brush
and brut ship. But luckily,because you know, I you know,
especially when I was at my fattest, I would sweat all the time,
and I would I would. Ihad a black towel usually, but every
once while I have a white towel, and I would, you know,
if I'm wiping my face, andthen I would look at it and be

(15:13):
like, okay, but it neverit never smewed right. You was you
was sweating profusely. That's why,Oh no, I was, dude,
I would be. I'd be sweatingprofusely as people were bringing me up.
I find my fastest. I wasfucking. I'm like, I need listen,

(15:33):
dude, that is fun. AndI'm also did you did any of
it get on like your your clothes? Oh? Yeah, man? It
was an outfit. I was gonnatake back. I think I had like
on this white shirt was a littlesparkles white shirt man. Yeah, no,
it was it was. I wasgoing all the way. I had
the white shirt with the little shirthalfway chest open. I was like,
man, I'm about to give everybodythe man. It was black stuff all

(15:56):
over the collar and it was drippingdown the front. I was like,
yeah, it was drip it.It was dripping. Now that's how fast
it was coming back. I wouldlove you know. What you should do
is make it your goal to goback there and now or at some point,
oh yeah, and be like,Okay, things are different now,
and like I need I need toget some revenge on that. I'm not

(16:18):
absolutely what I didn't think. I'vethought about it off and over down.
Did you say that because that showis still going matter of fact that we
just had it maybe a couple ofweeks ago. Yeah, So it would
be dope, man to go backand be like all right, man,
I oh y'all one, now,yeah you can even tell that story.
You'd be like the last time Iwas here fifteen years ago or whatever,
and oh fuck, dude, that'sgreat. Uh excuse me, you have

(16:41):
on if you're if if somebody's listeningto this, Uh, Carlos has on
here his social media, which isat comedian Carlos And then, uh,
what what shows do you have comingup? And I'll give your website and
all that and anything you want toplug for the people. Yeah, we've
about tom looking before. Man,we're about to rock out and might drop

(17:02):
in San Diego tomorrow and Saturday,and then we had might drop Mania and
Mesa, Messa, Messa Mesa.I would never say it that one of
them as a white print. Iwould never call it Masa fucking Jesus Christ
Mesa, Mesa Arizona canceled. OhI'm taking Carlos, you know, Massa,

(17:26):
what fucking what? Messa Mesa?Now Arizona show that shows at five?
By the way, on Sunday?Is it five or so? I
think it's at six because I lookedit up because somebody was trying to come
out and it was like, whattime is it? And I looked it
up on the website. I thinkit's at six o'clock. Okay, all
right, all right, I'll doublecheck, and uh, and what any

(17:51):
any other other than the shows thisweek, which I appreciate it, but
other shows you got coming up with? Yeah, it's on the website.
Part Time Famous dot com. ButI'm next week come headlining in the in
Meal Creek, Meal Valley just upfrom San Francisco at the Throw Rock Theater.
And then also in Oakland, I'mthe headline in Oakland on Next Wins
as well. But all this ison the website. Then we bring it

(18:14):
back part Time part Time Famous PastMike, which is my show. It's
coming back, but it's coming toWise Guys Comedy Club or March to twenty
four, so it's a lot March'sField up. So it's a good that's
a good things, dope, dopeand uh and the website's part Time Famous
and you have a special on AmazonPrime called part Time Famous, so that's
correct. Yeah, if you checkit, check Carlos out, check out

(18:37):
his special. Let him know youheard him on the Boo the Bombing podcast.
And uh, I'm I'm I'm gonnabe at those shows with Carlos shows.
And then yeah, in Saint Patty'sDay weekend, I'll be in Boston
at LAFT Boston weekend. After that, which is I think like the twenty
second that weekend, I'll be inConnecticut at uh City Steam Brewery the brew

(19:02):
haha, and Uh, you cango to Big R s J for tickets
and until next time. You lovehow we we leave this. Carlos,
by the way, thank you fordoing this and I appreciate. We always
we always say to the listeners,bomb voyage, little fucking boo bombs away.
Is that better? Uh, fuckingI'm out of here, all right,

(19:23):
thanks Carlos. Fucking boom