196 - You Aren't Broken! With Renee Bellinger - Cut The Crap With Beth And Matt

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a slow burden, right, you don't even realize that
you're changing and you've changed, because like obviously when I
was working at the school, I was getting more steps naturally,
but I don't know how many steps I was even
though I had a watch, Like.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
I don't remember my average step count.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Right, So it's like, oh, it feels like I'm moving
the same, but no, you're not moving the same, and people.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Just, yes, I hear that all the time. Nothing's changed,
I've changed nothing.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
I'm like, well, well you don't have a toper anymore.
So that's a big difference.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
You know, yeap as you move along the career ladder, right, Like,
if yeah are more like executive level your midlife, you're
probably sitting in meetings more than you were before you
were like getting a stress doing other things, Yeah, you're
more stressed.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
So it's like there are a lot of things playing
a role in.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
This is way. So we're honestly to focus on the
sleep and the stress as a foundational like skill, let's
call it a skill, you know, sleep and stress management,
because the more stress you are, and if you don't
have those proper coping skills, that's why we see in
the population we work with right renee is that emotional
eating aspect. We're eating because we're stressed, because we don't
have any other coping skills to manage that stress and

(01:06):
to deal with that stress.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Welcome to Cut the Crap with Beth and Map, the
world's number one no bullshit health and fitness podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Are you ready to cut the crap with your diet
and exercise, get strongest fuck, and build a healthy relationship
with food.

Speaker 5 (01:21):
Then you've come to the right place.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Let's go.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
If you'd like to support us in the podcast, join
our Patreon where you get exclusive content which consists of
monthly workouts you can do at home or at the gym,
monthly challenges that are either strength, have It or mindset based,
and access to over one hundred plus low calorie, high protein,
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chef who is certified in nutrition. These recipes are already

(01:47):
in my Fitness Pal for easy fucking tracking. New recipes
are also added each week.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
We believe that fitness is for everyone, so this is
our way of getting you started on your health and
fitness journey at a price most everyone can afford. So
what the fuck are you waiting for I'll see you
in the Patriot.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Hi friend, how much are you?

Speaker 4 (02:09):
Brauh good?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Ran up cheef blakes the stairstick of my aarpods and
then talk critter in the basement.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh no, a squirrel or no, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
I just like went to the garage and like something
ran under my car and I was like.

Speaker 6 (02:25):
Peace out the media note, oh high out. I'm all crazy,
but we all arena.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Welcome to the cut the crap. We don't give a.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
Far welcome to the ship showed right.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yes, real people talking real stuff. What do we call
our podcast? We're just real people, you know, talking to
other real people. So you guys, we have Renee Binger.
I'm so surprised we haven't had you on earlier. Honestly,
that's my bad. You should went on here like last year,
right right, you know what I mean. Renee has been
one of my good friends for a while in the interwebs.

(03:06):
We've met, we've gone, we've had the same courses together,
and she's just such a smart person And I just
love you. You're the best, smart, too, nice, kind and
just so you know, you need to be blown up
right now for reals. That's how I feel. But I mean, really,
you met, your content is so good. It is so

(03:27):
good and it helps so many people. More people need
to see it. So if you would like to introduce
yourself and let everyone know what you do and all
that fun stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Well, I'm Renee. Like you mentioned, I am a health
behavior change coach. So I come to the field with
the background in counseling psychology and really focus on helping
clients create small habits to help them become consistent, like
help them prioritize their health habits, achieve consistency, and finally
reach their goals. And I really we focus on comment

(04:02):
boring basics, yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Like everyone else.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
But it's like, after spending a lot of time on
the interwebs lately, it's just like that is.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Really what's needed.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Like I'm so angry at the content out there right
now because the messaging is just like, oh, everyone's broken,
but yet no one's like asking anyone like if they're
doing the fucking basics And the answer is always now,
like people are not doing just the everyday thing and things,
and people are focused on these other things that don't

(04:37):
even matter, and.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
The content that's being pushed out is like the stuff
that doesn't matter. It's like fear, right, and then you're like, oh,
comment on fear, and then no one has a solution
for any of it besides the supplement.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Exactly, or it's like oor okay, So this is I
met with someone this week and I was talking about
the weighted best pull the bacall and yeah, how it
doesn't move the needle like you think it does.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
And she was like, oh my gosh, really because like
there's some days like if I can't walk with my
weighted ass, then I don't walk at all.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
And I'm like, see, that is what angers me about
like the state of health and nutrition information, because like.

Speaker 5 (05:21):
Why the hell can you just go on a walk
without it?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Exactly? Well not even that, Matt.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
So, I follow an influencer for fashion and she recently
turned I was like late forties and so she's like
on the perimenopause train, and it's so interesting like as
a consumer like questioning like her health and nutrition advice.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
And then I'm like, well, I follow her for fashion.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
It's funny because I'm like, wow, yeah, she's just like
spitting like out like a lot of like the popular
like Mento influencer things. So she has like this daily
routine that's like kind of insane. It's like a lot
of supplements because she's, like you say, be like a
palaeo person still kind of is so a lot of
that stuff mixed with like the amoutopause stuff.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
So it's like a perfect storm.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
She went away and was kind of tongue in cheek
like I kind of feel like I should bring my weighted.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Best with me now. When I tell you that, people
responded to her being like, girl, I do.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
People are walking bringing their weighted best, wearing them like
through like security, pitting them through the conveyor belt and
then pitting.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Them in their carry on bag.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Like that is where we are. That's extreme, that is
so so unnecessary.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, and that's where we are now. I mean, I
waited Bester talked about all the time. It's like this
is waited best or a nothing new, Like I have one.
It's fucking old. I'd wear it maybe one time to
do the Murph and actually Memorial Weekend which is coming up,
and it's like I was like, will you wear one?
I'm like no, I fucking string train and I walk anyway.
I don't need a weight to best I really don't.

(06:58):
And then you hear the people that are like, I
feel like I need to wear one, but it's hurting
my shoulders, it's hurting my back. I pulled this. I
pulled that. I can't wear one now because of this.
It's like not everyone should should wear one. It's really
forward if you ask me the elite athletic woman, right,
you know, it's like it's like for someone that actually
does crossit, that's already lean, that already has like a

(07:21):
high you know, aerobic capacity, and it's strong.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
I just feel like it's just if you're gonna use one,
it's like it should compliment what you're doing. And right,
like general pop yeah, general population is worried about these things,
and it doesn't move the needle forward in any significant
amount that just regular walking or strength training doesn't do better, right.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
And it's like and that was the thing.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
So continuing with the conversation with this woman, I was like, well,
you know it really helps for bone depeys like strengths
training and biometrics and jumping, and she was like really,
my gosh.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
And it wasn't like a really to her.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
It was just like, Okay, this is how misguided people are,
and like the more I think about it, I'm gonna
get fired up.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
Like as women, let's go.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's like we should be so angry at like the
health space in general, because for you, especially women our age,
it's like we've been taught to be like our smallest stuff.
We've been like marketed like bullshit, like reps with like
small weights and like multiple repetitions that make you feel
like you're doing something because like you're literally exhausted because

(08:34):
you've done like a hundred reps of something with like
feel does exactly why you're like that was just a
great workout, but it did nothing. And so or we're
taught to be like cardio queens. And so for adult life,
like we've been taught to do everything to minimize like

(08:54):
our muscle mass, and then when it starts disappearing, it's like,
well then the answer is like some supplements and some bullshit.
It's like no, it's like someone please say my bad,
we got it wrong. We've hit you in a really
bad situation, like all that on and up dieting that
you were doing.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
We take it back, Yeah, take it back, but here's
something that we can composition. Yeah, and so it's like
knowing what I know now.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
And I emphasize so much because I was that woman
like ten years ago. Like I was that woman, and
I would if life didn't lead me in the direction
it led me, like I would could easily be like,
oh my god, it's like my hormones.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
I need a weight to besk, like I need to
do all this stuff. And it's like, no, you don't, Yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 5 (09:43):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
I can't imagine honestly coming into the internet now, how
it's so saturated like me ten years ago, like you said,
like that would I would like I'd be wearing a
weighted bass. I'd be fucking you know, like taking all
kinds of shit.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
And I was ironic because the ten years it really
has come full circle. And this is really the theme
that we've been talking about recently, Renee. So actually you're
on your game on the show at a really good time.
Ten years ago is like the prime time for like
diet culture on Instagram and uh, you know all those things.
And now it's now skinny talk is coming back and
rear in its ugly head, right, So it's it's all
come full circle now. It's really crazy, like We've been

(10:21):
talking recently a lot about body image and being really
intentional and getting dialed in and just you know, now
comparing ourselves to others and tuning out all the others,
all the noise out there, so you really are here
at a great time.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
I don't know, it's so hard to you know, and
I understand it. So it's being compassionate with people. And
I think it's hard and nuance with GLP once because
I live in a town where a lot of people
are just taking them just because right like it's not
necessarily spa yes from a med spot and so you

(10:58):
see people and every one is like literally looking like
a melted candle, and you're just like, that is a lot.
And I have conversations with other women who live here
who are more on the strength and they're like, it's
so hard at times because you're just like, am I
doing the right thing? And like you question it and
so again not having that information or knowing what I know.

(11:22):
I'm just thankful for life's experiences that led me to
where I am now, because I would have one hundred
percent falling down that rabbit hole, Like it's so hard
right now in society, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Especially because I believe, I mean we've talked about this before,
like women in their forties fifties, like going through menopausas,
like our body images. I think it's like a prime
time for eating disorders and things like that too, which
you know that's frightening, losing more muscle and bone because
of that, because you're you know, you're I need a starve,
we get rid of this belly.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
And you know, yeah, there was exaggerating these issues that
they've already that they've been creating for themselves for what
decades now, I just spoke with the client earlier forty
years of dieting right and struggling, and they're just now
figuring it out and starting to put it together, where
all those times, now with the current messaging, it's it's
still be smaller or do these and you're losing all
muscle mass and things. But even for the previous decades,

(12:18):
all these diet cycles, they were doing those things too,
So it's just being repackaged. And it's just women are
constantly being targeted, especially middle aged women. They were being
targeted at a younger age a few decades ago, and
now it's just a different grift now.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah, and it's like the same messaging. And when you
think about it too, when you layer midlife with like
like you have the weight and then you just have
the invisibility of getting older. So I think a lot
of people like don't even know what drives them to
do what they do. And it's more like societal's kind
of message that you don't matter as much because like

(12:52):
you can't bear children or whatever. And women don't even
acknowledge or know, they're not aware that it's happening. So
they're holding on to that the youth that they once had.
But it's I don't even think for a lot of women,
it's about like how they look. I think part of
it is also related to like, wow, I'm like becoming
more invisible in society.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
I never really thought of that, to be honest. I
never really thought like now I can't really have any children.
It's like that's done. That could be truly devastating to somebody.

Speaker 5 (13:26):
That's heavy.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
That's heavy, especially if it just suddenly hits you, right yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
like all these changes are they're all just happening at once,
and then so you you feel, I'm assuming they feel
very overwhelmed. And and then you get all these sexy
messaging that's coming on and helping you feel no longer overwhelmed,
and it's catering to that one insecurity that you that

(13:47):
you have that you had your entire life. And so
it's it's the solution and the problem in the same
in the same pill.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Really yeah, I mean, and I don't really know what
the answer is.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
Well, we can do what we can right and continue
to just talk with actual experts and people that have
lived it, experienced it, and try to try to reason
with people. That's one thing we know is every every
week we get messages from people from our listeners like,
oh my god, you're what you what you said is
just resonated with me. I've been I didn't even know

(14:19):
that I was struggling with this. I didn't even know
that I was being lied to and misled and but
it all makes sense, you know. So we just have
to keep putting out a good word, fighting a good
fight every day.

Speaker 5 (14:32):
Nay, what is it you mentioned like your.

Speaker 4 (14:34):
Own life experiences that brought you to this point, So
you have a kind of a cool background there. What
are some of those life experience experiences that have brought
you to where you are now as as a health.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Coach and what you do, Oh gosh, I feel like
I've done in everything.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
So I'm like the anti health coach because I didn't
have a fitness background growing up.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
Like I was, what makes you a bad coach?

Speaker 5 (14:54):
Honestly?

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah, I can track just because it like the way
to get into college. I'm like, oh, I want to
like be a runner. So growing up, like I wasn't
an athlete, and it really wasn't until like I mean,
I really like in my college. I went to a
small level arts college in Maine shout out Maine, and
we had to do like gym like a gym credit,

(15:17):
and I just didn't agree with that because I was like,
I'm in college, so I don't know, I didn't even
do it. And then I needed to graduate and they
were like, you need to take CPR because you haven't
done any gym.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
So when I said, like I was not an athlete, Like,
I was not an athlete.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
And in my twenties, like my body started changing and
I started going to the gym for cardio and like
all of this stuff and doing weight Watchers a couple
of times, and I think I.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Probably manage my weight like that for like maybe ten
years or so, ten.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Or fifteen, and then after having my daughter, like I
just had some miscarriages, which was also probably like perimenopause,
like not realizing it was like the beginning of perimenopause,
and I wanted to control of my body, like I
was like, something needs to happen. And I had fallen
in the Paleo like spiral because like Paleo at that time,

(16:10):
she's fourteen now could solve everything. And I hired a
nutrition coach, and there was a lot of good things
with the nutrition coach, but it was because I layered
like my knowledge of the hero change on top of
like her coaching, so really like she would just be like, oh,
you need to eat more protein.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
And I decided to like learn as much as I.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Could about like how to gamify and add more protein
to every meal. And I focused on just like protein,
like I don't know, like three months four months, and
my body started changing. And I was doing bar at
the time in yoga because I just moved to where
I live now and Lindsay was like three, and I

(16:50):
didn't even it was like the idea of finding a
gym with daycare and all of that stuff was like
so overwhelming, and I bond into that marketing like, oh,
bar can give you lean muscles, and I just or
my coach being like, it's not, and would you consider
strengths bringing back strength training? And after I felt comfortable
with protein, I added strength training like twice a week
for twenty minutes in my basement, and then eventually like

(17:13):
that bloss into three times a week, and then it
was like, oh, I want to learn kettlebells. And I
really really fell in love with strength training and like
watching my body change without doing like anything really dassic, right,
I was doing something I enjoyed, strength training and eating
in a way to fuel my body. And I lost

(17:34):
ten pounds and I remember people thinking that I lost
like twenty or thirty because the body composition was so drastic,
just because I was like building muscle again, right, And
I was able to maintain that for like I don't know,
like seven years or so until COVID. And then a
lot of things happened in COVID, like I was getting older,
my dad slipped off the ladder and just had a

(17:56):
series of health problems. I lost my job, decided to
become a nutrition coach, like focused on helping people develop
sustainable habits, and like it felt like as soon as
I got my certification, I looked in the mirror and
I was like, oh my god, like I don't recognize
this body anymore. And it was a combination of just
being in perimenopause, COVID stress, all of that. And so

(18:20):
once I started understanding like how perimenopause affected my body,
because I thought I was too young, like I still
in my late forties, thought it happened when you were fifty.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
You just stopped having your period and you had pop flashes. Oh,
I was like too young for this.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
But when I started reading more and understanding, oh, I'm
in perimenopause. Oh I really need to look at like
all the health habits I was ignoring, like sleep and stress,
and really took control of that with the same principle
of like I'm going to apply it in the behavior
change model, like I'm not going to try to change
everything at once, I'm just going to focus on one thing.

(19:00):
My life became so much better, Like my weight stabilized,
I felt better, I was sleeping better, and just recently
started like a deficit. So it took me like two
or three years to really work on those habits before
I even really considered a deficit.

Speaker 5 (19:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Really took my time and also changed the way I
worked out because I was going to a more boot
camp CrossFit type of gym and realizing I wasn't recovering well,
like it wasn't enough strength because it was split between
strength and metabolic conditioning. And I'm like, okay, I'm going
to and I'm losing muscle mass. I can see it

(19:39):
in the mirror. And I was like, I'm going to
try something else. I'm going to commit to like more
strength training, longer strength sessions, like I'm going to move
away from my community, which was really hard, and like
go to like a gym and it was like the
first time in my life that I was really at
like a co ed gym. I'm texting my coach at
the time and being like.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Oh my gosh, they're Jim Broke some Jim coals in
here because it was like summer and they were like
the girls were wearing like the booty sports and working
out in sports bras, and I was like, what am
I doing here?

Speaker 1 (20:07):
I was like a middle aged woman, like but whatever,
Like I took up space and again it was like
my love of what I was doing, because I really
do love starts training. And then I was like finally, okay,
I'm ready to like explore and be in a deficit again.
And so I just started like a fat loss phase

(20:29):
five weeks ago, and you know, it's really nothing different
than what I was doing. The biggest difference is all
like I removed a snack, Like at the end of
the day. It was just like okay, like I'm not
having this larger snack, right and I'm having a smaller snack.
So my eating it's not that complicated, and it's like

(20:50):
I've spent the time doing the work, like I already
knew how to eat like high protein, Like I know
how to create balanced meals. I do listen to my
bodies like mindfulness, cute in fullness, like, so my body
is in the state to do what it needs to do,
like in this fat lost phase. So I am losing
like around like a pound a week, but it's also

(21:11):
in the beginning and I know I'm going to plateau.
And that's why I have a coach, because I'm going
to be like all crazy about it because like that's
how you get even though you know, and we'll see
like where it leads to. And it's not necessarily about
being a certain number. It's just like, oh no, and
I know, like we kind of have a number, a

(21:31):
scale number, but we're I'm just kind of like it
really depends because I know my body's going to change
through this process.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
And so.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Even this week, it's funny because I've been hitting a
lot of lows for me, and so I was surprised
to see the averages a little higher than like I expected.
So like the difference this week was like a quarter
pound or something. But I was just like that surprised
me because like, my pants are fitting better.

Speaker 6 (22:00):
I had a.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Bikini that I wore like four years ago, and I
tried it on last night, like just like oh, let's see,
and it almost fits perfectly.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
And I'm like ten pounds heavier than I was then.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
And that's an example for like women to just know
that it's not about the number on the scale, like
going to change if you strength train.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
I know Beth talks about this all the time.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
So you just got to drive that in home. You know,
they got to get away from the scale number because
you have to. It'll fuck you up.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
And it'll fuck you up, because that's that's when if
you're just focused on the scale, like you just said, Renee,
you have that bikini from a few years ago and
you you're a little bit heavier now than you were,
but it's fitting better, like your body competition has changed
in a positive stay moresshoal, less body fat, Like that's
really what matters. And it's so hard when we're constantly
having the combat at this waking is the death of you,

(22:57):
especially during menopau is a menobelly, right, and every thing
it's just it's all but still like everything is tied
to the friggin scale and.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
It's only for women because men gain weight at the
same rate in middle age.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
And that's yeah, what's e soce infuriating. It's like, right,
you don't here men.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
You don't see like any advertisements for your like depleted
testocerunbelly or whatever.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
Because men from a society perspective, we don't have that
expectation and pressure to be small, to be toned or
whatever the look might be, right, especially like with like
GLP ones, most of the people taking and being targeted
with GLP ones from these metspots especially, they're not men,
they're they're women, and.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
I love I want to talk about too, that you
were focusing on some habits that you wanted to get
better first, like your stress management and your sleep, so
you can actually be in a better spot to lose
bat Nobody thinks about that. They go straight to I
want to lose fat, but they're forgetting the fact that
they have so many other things that they need to
figure out first, so that could be optimal, yes, And.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
I think people don't even realize that because they just
think because that's all they've heard, right, And then when
you understand like the connection of how the fluctuations and
reproductive hormones change everything, you're like, you're right, what worked
for you in your twenties and thirties is not going
to work now because your body is like not functioning
the same and so it needs support. Like I worked

(24:23):
in a high school, so I had to be at
work really early in the morning, and I had spent
years of like we'vebent bad time procrastination just because first
I had a child, and then it was like, oh,
I'm working and I'm staying up late because like this
is my me time, right, and I kind of hate
my job sometimes so like I don't want to go

(24:45):
to bed because I don't know that will make the
next day come sooner. And it took me like two
years to undo like let's say ten years of like
a bad habit. And people also have to understand that
it takes time, Like you didn't develop these habits overnight. Yeah,
like you developed them over course of years decades. Yeah, yes,

(25:08):
And like people just feel like, oh my gosh, like
it's not working, like after two weeks.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
It's like, no, it's not going to Yeah, as long
as it takes right, Yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Like have to trust it, and I think it best.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
And I've learned over time because when I first started
my business, it was like I was really discouraged because
I was like working with women who were they went
into macrotract but they weren't ready. They were so ingrained
with like the my Fitness Pal like twelve hundred calories,
and they were approaching it like all the games that
people play, you know, choosing like the leastchloric meal when

(25:44):
you go out, like on my Fitness Pal, but it's
really like nine hundred calories, but you're like, oh, that
was only like two hundred and thirty calories.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
It was like girl, no, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Girl no, that was the bread.

Speaker 5 (25:57):
That was the one.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
What was the other memor?

Speaker 4 (26:07):
So you're very intentional with making these changes, right, You
got you got your boring basic shit dialed in is
what you Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Comment boring basics.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
I'm med boring basic everyone comment born. Oh gosh, you
guys need to pay attention. And also you didn't put
a time limit on yourself, Like I know everyone has
this like time number by like June twenty first, or
you know next year at this time. Actually next year

(26:38):
would be a good but it's like the number and
the time, you know.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, and like and also being realistic because like I said,
my dad fell and there was one point last year
I was really working on habits, so like you love this, Matt,
like really focusing again on like mindful eating, because like
it's something that you know how to do, or you
may or may not know how to do.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
Like I knew how to do, but I was practicing
it regularly, right, So I spent like four months.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Like and I lost weight too, just by like eating
to just about you know, like a seven on the scale. Right,
And then it's like we travel because my daughter does
a sport, and I was like, this is not a
good time. And then my dad's health like worsened, and
my plan last year was like okay in the summer
to go back, but I knew, I'm like, this is

(27:25):
not a good time. And I think a lot of
times people look at their diets and isolation, like they
don't look at oh, is it a season of your
life where you're traveling because your kids do sports, or
you have a lot of business trips like or like
if someone sick, or do you have other priorities that
take precedence over like your diet. Yes, time's going to
pass anyways, but like, don't set yourself up by doing.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Something at a stressful time. You know, like you have
to be really honest with yourselves.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
It'll be hard to stick to you and be consistent, Yeah,
and then you'll be mad at yourself for really not
being able to be just for specific reasons.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
Right, because know what happens when, Yeah, in these seasons
of life where everything is just so stressful and more
and more difficult to be consistent with. Now you're just
stuck in this diet cycle, right, And I want people
dieting for for a long time. We want to get
them in, get the result that we're after, and then
get out and then continue to build muscle and get
fucking strong. But when we're trying to constantly work against

(28:24):
ourselves and not meet ourselves where we're at, that's where
things get frustrating and discouraging and we and we end
up quitting for maybe a week or two or a
month and then get back to.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
It right right, And then you just know badly about yourself,
but you also up to be And that's why I
focus a lot on like the mindset piece with people,
because you also have to be like really really honest
with yourself. Because like when I signed up with my coach,
I was so excited, but I also understand the stages
just changed. So it's like you sign up, you're excited,
and then you get like the packet and you're like,

(28:56):
holy shit that I what did I do? And I
was like, oh my god, this deposit so low and
it's not even low. And I was like my mind
was like playing all these games with me, and it's like, girl,
you're going away like once a month.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
The next like three four months, Like this is a
bad time.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
But it's like Okay, now that's just fear speaking, and
you really have to trust yourself and know yourself to
know when is like your brain just playing tricks on
you because you're scared versus like it's really not a
good time. And a lot of people don't know the
difference because they haven't developed self trust yet.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
I say, how does someone know the difference?

Speaker 4 (29:32):
Yeah, because your brain is tricking you, right, your brain,
your brain doesn't want to change. Your brain wants to
be comfortable. And so when when we're trying to do
these new things and change these behaviors and habits that
our brain probably helped us create to protect us and
keep us safe, everybody's like, no, fucking stop that, right,
and then don't do that shit.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Well, because my brain was totally freaking out, and I
texted a friend and she was really good at calming
me down. But then later she was like, oh, you've
made some great mindset gains, and I'm like, well, I
love my coach, but I've been like doing I know
my mindset stuff, right. I was like, that was just
me freaking out, and even she didn't understand enough. I'm like, yeah,

(30:10):
I needed do in that moment. I support but like, yeah, no,
at this point in my fat lost journey, like I
got the mindset stuff now that I like calmed my
brain down.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
But it is like you're just like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Like I tell Beth all the time, like, girl, that
couldn't be me with your bikini cut every day.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Every day, I'm fucking freaking out.

Speaker 5 (30:32):
Having to call yourself out on your own shit.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
I call myself a fucking baby bitch every day. Quit
being a baby bitch.

Speaker 5 (30:40):
Yeah, I could help catch me for her, Beth.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I love that for you.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
So I had a client over the checking with me
on Monday and she's like, I didn't I didn't eat
like an asshole over this over the weekend. And she's like,
but then she she qualified that by saying, and I'm
not saying eat like an asshole to shame myself, right,
just because that's what we say, is like I didn't
eat like an asshole. I'm proud of myself.

Speaker 5 (31:00):
You know.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
It's one of those things calling yourself out for those
things for sure.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, and it takes time.

Speaker 5 (31:06):
M hmm.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
That's a fusolutely.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
Water walk sleep repeat.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
It's now sexy when you say it like that, But.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
I don't really have anything to talk about. When people
are like, so, how's it going, It's like, well, I'm
just literally doing the same thing every day, you know,
because it's so boring and basically I'm eating literally the
same meals, I'm drinking a ton of water, I'm going
to the gym, I'm getting my steps in, you know,
like there's really nothing else to say. And I think
people are consistently looking for something to like grasp onto

(31:40):
for some kind of a hack, you know, and there
really isn't. It's just the consistency is the hack.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah, You're like, it's everything I've been practicing, you doing
everything that I've been telling.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Consistency is an interesting thing too, I think because and
I just got a question on my stories about this yesterday,
like I'm struggling with being consistent, and what I hear
when i'm when I when somebody's struggling to be consistent,
it's like, well, let's look at you. What you're doing
first and foremost right, they're probably trying to be perfect
and they have these unrealistic expectations. Lose x amount of
way every week, it's going to continue to go down

(32:14):
every week, or I'm just going to do this for
a few few months and be done so that they're
they're expecting that perfection kind of and that's not what
consistency is all about.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
You're so right about that too, because everyone thinks consistency
is like one hundred percent.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Like all this.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Also, it could be because they're trying to focus on
their sleep, stress and deficit.

Speaker 5 (32:33):
Yes, yes, so let's let's backtrack that a little bit.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
That's yes, bringing that back up, Beth, So why renee
is it important for going into a deficit fout loss?
But why is that so important for us to manage
the sleep and the stress, especially as you know, a
perimenopausal woman and somebody going through the transition right now.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Yeah, I mean the reproductive hormones estrogen is such a powerhouse.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
Like when she.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Starts to play her a little daily games, like your
body just doesn't operate the same, so like your ability
to self soothe is decreased, and which means that you
then have to pick up the load that your body
naturally would do. Right, So people might notice like an
increase in anxiety changes with their mood and you can't

(33:22):
always lean into it so before like I would joke.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Aha, I'm a stress eater, Like, I know I have
stress and I'm eating right.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
And however, if my body isn't able to is more
sensitive to stress and becomes stressed more easily, then I
have to take some responsibility and manage my stress in
a different way.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
And it's like the same thing with sleep too. It's
like your sleep.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
If you're not getting enough sleep, then that affects your
hunger hormones. It also affects your mood. And I always
tell clients obviously we can't control what happens, like and
you fall asleep, but you can set yourself up for
the best sleep quality possible by doing certain things, you know,
like and it depends per person, but it's like dimming

(34:10):
the lights, reducing electronics, making sure your bedroom's cool, because
like that's the one that gets me a lot, especially
with the change in temperature. Sometimes I'm like ready to
fall asleep and I'm like, oh, man, like we should
have turned on the EC a little earlier or whatnot,
you know, Like, I mean that's really the big one
I'm working on overall, because like sometimes like my bed

(34:30):
is not like the optimal temperature, But there are things
that you can do to help yourself and even if
you do have like hot flashes, making sure that you
have like next to your bed, like a change of clothes,
like maybe in a cooler that you can easily swap
if you know you're waking up hot, like that will
decrease your awake time versus like you know that you

(34:52):
have hot sweats, like and you're waking up and then
you're like turning on the light trying to find something
else to sleep in, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Like all of these things are things that you just
need to think through and find what works for you.
But also being an adult and like holding yourself accountable
to your boundaries. Yeah, but do it compassionately because I

(35:13):
also have a fourteen year old and she I can't
let her stay up she would like get like two
hours of sleep. So there's some nights that my sleep
is less than optimal because for me, I'm prioritizing what
I need to do for her as her mom to
help her learn sleep habits. So my husband wakes up
earlier and I sleep in, you know what I mean. Like,

(35:35):
so I do what I can with what I have,
like every given day, and depending on what I would
like as an outcome, my answer may be different from
day to day, and I think that's something people don't
understand either. Every trip is going to look different, you know,
like some trips might be like a one of and
like you enjoy it, Like some trips might be like

(35:58):
a boring business trip, and there's more that you can control,
and so you really have to approach situations like based
on the information you have at hand.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, and you really have to
collect that data and do this for yourself and maybe
even track like what works for you with your sleep
I don't know if you had Did you have a
sleep journal? Do you ever recommend a sleep journals ring?

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Right?

Speaker 4 (36:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Too?

Speaker 1 (36:24):
I love it data and that helps me, But people
don't need that, Like you can have a sleep journal.
A lot of my clients like they don't have an
orr ring, And I don't necessarily suggest it because sometimes
too much information just increases your stress with that and
it took me a while to have a healthy relationship
with my ORR ring.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
What got to the point where I would.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
Like, I love that you called that RNA because there's
there's a lot of out there that our fitness trackers
can actually do more harm than good. Sometimes when we're
hyper fixating. Yeah, we're moving the folks focus off of
maybe the scale, but now we're obsessing about it.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
Yeah. Well, I know people that works won't work out
if their ring says they're too stressed out, and I'm like, no,
my ring, I'm still going to the fucking gym. Fuck
this ring for that ship. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
That's that's where you need to get in touch with
your body, your your recovery, your active recovery, and get
it like what does what does real fatigue actually feel like?
And does this fatigue actually need rest? Or do I
need to just move my ass and go work really hard? Right?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Nice? Right? And those are all the things that I
feel like it takes a while to learn. I remember
when I first joined my.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Kettle Belgium years ago, because I was so anxious, like
every single time driving now do like a mind body scam,
like hoping I would like to reath turn around.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
I was like like I wanted to go, but I
was scared to go, you know, so I'd be like,
all right, what's wrong with me today? Take it nothing.
But a lot of times people don't even they just
oh my gosh, I feel anxious. I can't go. There's
too much going on. I can't go.

Speaker 4 (37:58):
And it's like, well, you're feeling anxious, that's an answer
you should probably be going in exercising if you're if
you're able to make time.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
For that, that's exactly exactly.

Speaker 5 (38:06):
Going to it back to like our basic skills there, right.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
So yeah, sleep journals are really helpful. And what I
like to do too is I mean I start small.
I ask people to commit to one to do things
that they feel that they can do and they want
to do, and so it really depends on the person
and to reflect if they have time in the morning
to reflect on how they felt doing whatever they did, Like,
that's really.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Making that part of our cultul too.

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Yep. Yeah, I love the sleep journal.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
Do you do anything like a food and mood journal
or tracker or anything like that where people can you know,
your clients or just anybody can log like, hey, this
is the day I had I ate at these times,
this is what I was feeling, These were my hunger
levels things like that, so they can try.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yes, I do like I try to do that. I
don't know, you probably have more success.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
I feel like my clients they're getting better, but like
it's just really educating on why that's important and why
that's more important than like their calorie counting, right, especially
in midlife. I feel like a lot of people, like
they say they have digestive issues, and they could. They may,
but I think a lot of times people are tied

(39:15):
to psychologically a diet that they did in the past
that had like took foods out, and so they have
these distorted views on what they're susceptiable too. And then
don't even get me started on my gut health coaches
who are removing crap from their diet.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
So I usually use that when.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
People are like, oh I have a food sensitivity, I'm like, okay, well,
like why don't you This is great, We're going to
have this journal and then you'll have something to bring
to your doctor.

Speaker 4 (39:41):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
And they're just like okay, and then they do it
and they're like, oh, well, I guess I didn't have
that sensey.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
Yeah, I really appreciate you're saying this, And I'm a fan.
I'm an advocate of calories tracking.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
A lot of times when I start working with the
client right away, they're like, what's my calorie dested number, right,
and it's like hole off the brakes here, okay, Right,
spend a week observing first before we can start doing
anything and logging some getting some good data to make
decisions off of, perhaps you know, what's the rush.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Yeah, And I even a lot of times like even
backtrack because I am a behaviorist. So I'm like, I
want you to start with just balance plates, like I
want to make sure that like you know how like
what a plate looks like three plates, like three meals,
maybe two snats, and start there because again, like my population,

(40:32):
it's people who have such a disordered relationship with like
calorie counting. So either people want to count macros or
they're like, oh no, I can't because it spirals me.
And it's because like they're so used to like twelve
hundred calories.

Speaker 5 (40:44):
Previous attempts got them.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
Yes, yes, it's a macro tracking that's bad inherently, right,
it's exactly a relationship.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
With it, yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
And so I'm like, let's just make sure you actually
know like what a protein is, how to eat your
vegetas you know, searchy, carbohydrates, like don't even get me
started on that, Like the cgms for people who don't
have diabetes. Like every single time I post oatmeal, that's
when my engagement goes up.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Like I should be like the oatmeal account because then
Instagram will.

Speaker 5 (41:16):
Push I love the demonize oatmeal, and.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
It's like, leave, I don't care if you're gonna tell
me it's for horses. I'm gonna eat it.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yeah, Oatmeal's the goat for me right now. And it
actually helped get my cholesterol.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
Downe crushing your overnight oats right now in irdle.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
My overnight oats are clutch right now.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
Man is sausage we did it was.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
I already had a babil on there, you know. This morning,
I'm like I'm gonna add some I had some room
for some Jones sausage. I'm like, this is perfect. But yeah,
people love to hate on the oats.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
They do.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
They do, And it's like I did a post about
this a couple of weeks ago. Like last year, my
A one C was just starting a trend upward. Because
I'm older and knowing what I know about muscle, I'm
spending the year focus on muscle. Right I'm losing muscle.
Muscle helps with insulin sensitivity. My doctor was like oh,
I also walk because you now work from home you

(42:04):
used to work in a school. The focus on those
two things. I ate oat mill. I would say maybe
like seven months out of the year and my eight
one C went down. I maintained my weight loss like
nothing happened. And even in that post, like people were.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Like, so BABYGM.

Speaker 4 (42:23):
People will jump through hoops when you tell them like hey,
my my, my A one C went down or my
client's a one C went down while eating all these carbs,
They're like, okay, but what else were they doing?

Speaker 3 (42:33):
What?

Speaker 4 (42:33):
Like like they try to they jump through fucking hoops
to try to justify their their bias, right, to confirm
their bias as to why okay, well, couldn't have been
the fact that they were just eating in a calorie
deficit and eating more fiber and protein, right, Like that's
it's unheard of her for these people that are gut
health gurus and whatever the healths they're calling each other.
They call themselves this.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah, like you know these metal coaches who don't know
crap the kids, just like really privileged women selling oh
you need this and this and this and that.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
Yeah, no you don't. You also mentioned something in therene
about how you know you're not as active now as
when you were in an educational setting. And I think
that's we know this for sure as we age. That's
a really big factor as to why we gain weight
as we age, or we see these changes because we're
not the same person we were twenty when we were
in our twenties and thirties, we're not as active, we're

(43:25):
not chasing our children around perhaps as much anymore. Right,
maybe you had a change in your career that it
took you from being very active to sedentary or whatever
it might be. But we don't, we just we don't
look at those things. We just look at the changes
that are happening. And it's just my age that's happened,
that's caused it.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Right, right, it's like my metabolism.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
I'm broken. It is because you're no longer you're moving
three three thousands ups the day when you were doing eight.

Speaker 5 (43:50):
Right.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
The thing that gets me is like I haven't changed
the thing. It's like, you mean to tell me nothing,
nothing between like your twenty fifth year life and your
fortieth year is different. Get them, you know, saying.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
That's when you need to be real with yourself and
everything is different.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, And I think with some people it's like I
like to say, it's a slow burn, right, you don't
even realize that you're changing and you've changed, because like
obviously when I was working in school, I was getting
more steps naturally, but I don't know how many steps
I was even though I had a watch, Like I
don't remember my average step count, right, So it's like, oh,
it feels like I'm moving the same, but no, you're
not moving the same.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
And people just, yes, I hear that all the time.
Nothing's changed, I've changed nothing.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
I'm like, well, well you don't have a toper anymore.
So that's a big difference, you know.

Speaker 5 (44:42):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
As you move along the career ladder, right, Like if
you are more like executive level your midlife, you're probably
sitting in meetings more than you were before you were
like getting after doing other things.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Yeah, you're more stressed. So it's like there are a
lot of things playing a role in This is why.

Speaker 4 (44:59):
We're honestly to focus on the sleep and the stress
as a foundational like skill, let's call it a skill,
you know, sleep and stress management, because the more stressed
you are, and if you don't have those proper coping skills.
That's why we see it not in the population we
work with, right, orne is that emotional eating aspect. We're
eating because we're stressed because we don't have any other
coping skills to manage that stressed, to deal with that stress.

(45:20):
And when we're more stressed, right, that's when that big
S word comes about and people are talking about the cortisol,
like it's the cortisol belly and all that stuff. Right, Well, well,
if you slept, worked on your sleep hygiene and your
stress management, that wouldn't be an issue. You're gonna be
able to regulate your hunger, right, our grelling and our
leptini and things like that. So it's I don't know
where I was going with that.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
No, You're like it's all connected people, Yeah, and there
skills that you can use, as you know, to manage
your emotional eating. But again it takes time, like just
because like someone says, like these are the skills, you
are gonna have to find the ones that work for you, right,
and then you're gonna have to like practice them and
it might be six months to a year. But like

(46:02):
even if that's the one thing you focus on you
might find yourself in a calorie deficit, like if you're
used to like emotionally eating like once a week or
even like a couple times a month, and it's like
that can clearly put you in a surplus right, So yeah, exactly,

(46:22):
it's like there's no connection. You're usually like zoomed out.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
You're like, oh, yeah, the extra calories goes around.

Speaker 5 (46:30):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
You've actually spoken about emotional eating at one of our
webinars for our clients for TMBFF, and you had some
great tips. I don't know if you want to share
with others here, Renee has some mos some tips on
emotional eating. Since we're talking about it, I know a
lot of people struggle with it. Do you have any
in your little back pocket that you can share?

Speaker 2 (46:50):
I do, yes. The power of the pause, and that
is really based on urge surfing.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
The fact if you envision your emotions like a wave
or your urge to eat like a wave, right like
it's going to crest and then you'll land at the shore.
Landing at the shore is like the urge subsides, and
research says about like fifteen to twenty minutes for the
urge to subside. So if you practice pausing, it really
doesn't matter what you do after the pause. It's just

(47:23):
learning to break that automatic connection between your desire to
eat and like you actually eating.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
It's teaching your brain that it doesn't have to be automatic.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
So what I tell people all the time is like,
don't worry about like what happens, but like start where
you are and try like a minute, two minutes, and
then ask yourself, you know, do I still want that?
And if so, like eat it mindfully. Again, I really
stress like the pausing versus like what happens after. So
that's like one of my favorite strategies. And connected with

(47:56):
that too is alt, like asking yourself like what's going on?
And I mean I do like halt, but like there
could be so many other things going on, but it
just gives you a start like are you hungry?

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?

Speaker 6 (48:09):
Like?

Speaker 1 (48:09):
And then address that need right like instead of like
if you're hungry, like, actually eat a real meal.

Speaker 4 (48:16):
Right if I'm hungry, Like right, like if you're using
the halt skill and you're like, am I actually hungry?

Speaker 5 (48:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (48:21):
I feel hungry? Okay, what food is going to satisfy
that and still help me feel good afterwards. It's not
gonna be the potato chips, right, Yes, that's a really
big component of like mindful eating. I think people don't
understand if I just mindfully eat, I would want pizza
all the time. No, it's about giving yourself the foods
that you actually fucking need.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Right, yes, right exactly.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
And if you do, going back to my college years,
mindfully eat, oh, let's say crossed flakes, because like your
parents didn't allow you to have them, you get to
the point where you're like, this is gross, right, Like
you'll get to the point of like if you feel like, oh,
I'm gonna mindfully eat pizza, you're going to hit a
wall where you're not going to want pizza anymore. Right,
You're like, it's not going to feel you in the

(49:01):
same way because if you're thinking, oh I.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Need the pizza, it's because you're restricting pizza. And so that's.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Exactly exactly, And it's like once that connection is severed,
like you're not going to reach for it as often.
So that's like my paper one and if all, it's
a great one with kids too, Like just because I
don't know, like my daughter, it's like emotional regulation, yeah exactly.
And it's like, so are you really telling me you're hungry,

(49:30):
Like what's going on? Like, well, do you want like
a banana or something? And she's like no, I don't
think you're.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Really that hungry.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
She's like I want okay.

Speaker 5 (49:41):
Well yeah, basically that's going to tastes good.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
So that's like another one also reminding yourself, and this
is more advance, like in terms of like your thoughts,
not to let your thoughts bully you.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Right, So thoughts aren't facts.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
And if you notice a thought, like asking yourself whether
or not that thought is helpful to what you're trying
to accomplish, and if the answer is know, asking yourself like, well,
what could be a thought that will help me? So
my biggest scripe is like a lot of times you'll
see on social media, like people just be like, oh,
like this mantra will help you, Well, it's not if

(50:20):
it doesn't resonate with the person. So really doing the
work of helping people or empowering people to come up
with mantras that will work for them.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
I love how you said that, especially at the beginning,
is like there's going to be multiple skills and the
skill that we're maybe the skill we're talking about right
now might not work for you. So it's really about
having that diverse emotional tool belt. It's not a lot
of size fits all thing. And I think that's really what,
especially when it comes to mindful eating, is that's why
I think people get discouraged from it because it's not
black and white, and you really have to get to

(50:51):
know yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yes, Like you have to understand like your hunger is
like a lot of people don't even realize like when
they're hunger and when they're helpful because they are so
used to ignoring that.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
Yeah, please like honor it and eat a balanced meal, please,
and you'll be surprised by what happens.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Beth and I were talking about that yesterday because we're
talking about like influencers who are living in a state
of like under eating and it's like they're probably they
don't even realize that.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Because like their body is just like, oh I give up.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
Yeah. I love it.

Speaker 4 (51:24):
I love the discussion that that Beth has been having
lately about that because it's it's it's so true seeing
people walk around, especially women walking around treaded like that
year round, not fucking healthy, and they're giving the people
we're trying to help such unrealistic expectations and healthy relationship
with their own bodies.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
It's it's not fair. It's not fair because you know,
women are women are desperate, and I'm not as hard
as what I'm doing is. It's almost like my reasons
for doing it are kind of changing, you know, Like
I was doing it. I was doing it for like, yeah,
let's let's do this for the photoshoot. This will be
fun to do with the team, to like, you know,
I'm doing us to show women they can do anything

(52:02):
at any age. And now I'm doing this to show
you what it takes you get severely lean, like these
people that you see consistently living like this. So it's
kind of morphed into different.

Speaker 4 (52:13):
I love that best because that's the other side of
the spectrum that we don't see right right, right right influencers.
We don't see their day to day we don't see
their potentially disordered behaviors, how they're silencing hunger, not listening
to their hunger cues.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
And not eating sugar, you know, not eating certain fruits,
not eating out like very regimented.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Not eating fruit, you know, yeah, yeah, really.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
Little mini meals all day. They can show me that
they're strength training in the gym, but they're they're still disordered.
And if you have such definition dick skin thin abs,
there's something going on.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
I know this.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
It's like especially if you know, like everyone here, we're trained,
we're nutrition coaches. We know how calorie deficits and science
and nutrition work. Right, you see someone that lean, you're like,
you question it because it's it's very hard to get
there and stay there.

Speaker 4 (53:06):
And we know this. It is especially yeah, yeah, especially,
and women even more so are more sensitive to getting
really lean like that, right, because of the impact that
has on your hormones. For women, I mean, it's not
healthy for men to be walking around sub ten percent
button body fat either year round, right, but for women
it's more like blow twenty percent. I don't know what

(53:27):
what dix can thin is. I guess for women, but
you know, well, buff.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
Will find out for us.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
I'll let you know and I'll pull it for it.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
But then right when we're trying to get that lean,
our hormones aren't being regulated. That's another thing, is my
hormones are auto weak welts because you're not eating enough fat,
you're not eating enough calories, like that's that's really the
solution to your problems is to just fuel your body.
And I love you said at the beginning renee you
talked about fueling your body and if we shifted the
focus from fueling our body to honest neglecting our body,

(54:02):
which is what a lot of people are doing. And
the approach that they take right was just going low
calories and trying to do it as quickly as spots. Well,
that's neglect. That's not nourishing, right, And then the.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Answer will be like, oh, well, you're nervous system, is
it regulated?

Speaker 4 (54:15):
Well, when's the last time you had a bounced meal?

Speaker 5 (54:17):
Huh?

Speaker 4 (54:17):
Yeah? Basically, are you going straight to coffee in the morning, Well,
that's probably not going to help things either, you know.

Speaker 5 (54:25):
It's these habits.

Speaker 4 (54:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
Es also for breakfast, too many muffins for a snack, yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
You know yeah, and then and then dinner with emotionally eating.

Speaker 5 (54:37):
How what are your thoughts on this, renee.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
Do you feel like there's a time and a place
to emotionally eat well, yeah, because it works, that is.

Speaker 5 (54:44):
One properly like one coping mechanism, but it shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Yes right right right, And I mean there is a
time and a place.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
And I think it's also important to realize that like
emotional eating, we always associate it with like negative emotions,
but like it's.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
Also like having the cake at a birthday party.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Yeah, does a celebration, right, So the word gets demonized
a lot, and it works because like it does, like
we get the dopamine heads and things like that, but
it's also being honest with yourself, incorporating mindful eating and stopping,
you know, and knowing that sometimes it's going to happen

(55:20):
and it's going to be okay. Like everything is so nuanced,
and I feel like that's where I struggle with social
media than those like as a creative also like looking
at content because there's so much nuance with every single day,
but doesn't reach people.

Speaker 5 (55:34):
Nuance doesn't know how you want.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Videos that provide context don't fucking go viral, They don't
reach people. But the big bold claims that are you're
you're fucking yourself up because of your morning coffee or
run or whatever it is, like that's going to sell.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
That's how you can tell red flax if someone is
speaking in absolutes you guys, So you know, and yeah,
there's a lot of nuance to a lot of things right.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Right, and too with emotional eating too, it's like knowing
that again, it's like each situation, it's like, what's your goal?
And it might change from time to time, right, or
is there a way to like decrease it? So like
if I'm working on a project, like I usually like
like a salty frontier snack, right, pour it into a

(56:19):
bowl like poor serving into a bowl and like just
have that, Yes, don't eat out of the bag, don't
eat of the box, and you'll know, like, Okay, these
are my cues. And one thing I like to say
to clients too is like, especially towards the end of coaching,
it's like, Okay, what are the clues or what are
the cues that you're falling back into, like your older habits.

(56:40):
Why don't you start considering that now when you're coaching
so we can like make some plans for that so
that you know, Okay, this is like when I need
to be more intentional about my actions and not be
on autopilot because like I am falling back into older habits,
love that love that.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
Yeah, going back to that power of the pause, like
that's yeah, that really is a foundational skill. It is
just having that ability to create that momentarily pause, slight
pause and creating distance. I like to I like to
have them take a like a physical step back while
they're pausing to whatever from or whatever it might. It
doesn't he need to be something in front of them,

(57:19):
just kind of creating some physical space too. To add
on to that.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, and I mean this has nothing to do with
the pause, but maybe we'll help with emotional eating too.
It's like everything doesn't have to be like so fucking
visible in your house, right. Well, it's like if you
have kids and they have snacks, put them in a
drawer where you don't easily see.

Speaker 5 (57:37):
Them, you know, like off the cupboard the countertop.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Will replace the snacks on the countertop with some fruit
and foods and things like that, right out of sight,
out of mind, if you're constantly walking through the kitchen
like a lot of people are.

Speaker 5 (57:52):
I did this the other night.

Speaker 4 (57:53):
I'm gonna call myself out here at the end of
the night, and Sarah needed me to go get something
from the living room and then she forgot something else.
I need to go back and get something from the kitchen. Well,
I ended up having to go back into the kitchen
three times, and three times I passed by this muffin
that I was thinking about all night.

Speaker 5 (58:11):
Well guess what I did.

Speaker 4 (58:12):
On the third time, Pat, I'm like, you know what,
I'm going to have the fucking muffin because it's just
calling me right now. So because it was right there
on the counter, right, I saw it was you, it
was you know, and I'm not going to stop thinking
about this fucking muffin until I have it.

Speaker 5 (58:27):
So I had it.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
But I wasn't beat myself up about it. I wasn't
didn't shame myself. And I'm also I'm not saying I'm
not trying to lose fat right now, So like I
can have a muffin and yeah, four hundred calories what
it was or whatever, you know.

Speaker 5 (58:40):
And be fine, you know.

Speaker 4 (58:41):
So, but yeah, and as it's that temptation, you want
to remove those temptations, right.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
And people don't realize the impact of their environment, right,
So it's like your environment can be just like the
way you set up, like where the food is in
the house, right, especially if you suffer or food noise
is really hard for you to now gate. It's like
just not seeing it, not having it as visible, makes
it so much easier, and people don't even think about that.

Speaker 4 (59:07):
Yeah, you connected the food noise there, because a lot
of times our food noise, right, and that's such a
wildly overblown to first big term that can cover anything,
but a lot of times our food noises. We're giving
it to ourselves because of our environment, like you said,
or we're not dieting all the time all the time
eating balanced meals. We know it's from from a clinical

(59:30):
perspective working with clients, and then from a research perspective too.
When we start adding in a balanced meals, Guess what
happens to that quote unquote food noise. It shuts the
fuck up. It quiets like it's it quiets down.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah, And it's just like.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
You said something earlier, noise all day wrong?

Speaker 5 (59:48):
Right now, you definitely do.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
I literally think about every fucking meal that's coming next.

Speaker 5 (59:53):
And I love that.

Speaker 4 (59:54):
That's because when we were together in Florida, you were
you were describing what you were going through. I was like,
that's food noise. You're like, yeah, yeah, that is huh.
I'm like, yeah, it's self imposed, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Yeah, I would have a party going on in my head.

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
Girl.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:07):
You also mentioned I know we're running out of time here,
but this is a really good talk here, the negative talk, right,
And And one thing that I like to do is
give that voice a name. When Carl Right is being
is being a dickhead and saying these unkind things to me,
I don't have power here anymore, dude, nor keeto Carl Right.

(01:00:29):
It was was responsible for me doing five day fasts
in the past to try to lose weight. You know,
Carl has no control over me and my decisions anymore. Right,
So I give it a name, And that was like
takes the control back.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (01:00:40):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
I like giving him them the names.

Speaker 5 (01:00:45):
Yeah, yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Who's my alter.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Ego?

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Would you call it? I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:56):
What'd you say, Olivia. We all have that inner critic,
So I feel like that just helps you take the
power back.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
It's interesting because someone was messaging me about the scale
and if I did a story about scale neutrality, and
I've had this conversation or variation of this conversation with
a couple of women recently about like they know that
like the choices they're making is based on like messages
from like their mother, but they know those messages aren't
good messages anymore. And so we talked about taking that

(01:01:32):
and like asking is it helpful and like writing something else.
But it's also that's the same thing, right, Like okay,
well name it your mom. Like, if you know that
that's no longer serving you, you have the power to
do something about it. Yeah, because if you're aware, that's amazing.
A lot of people aren't even aware of like their
negative thoughts or.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Yes, it's being aware.

Speaker 5 (01:01:55):
Yeah, can't change something if you're not aware.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Of it, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Yeah, absolutely amazing, Renee, this has been an amazing conversation.
I could talk to you for hours.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
Takeing us a long time to get her on the show.
We both before, But how about like we on the
show for years, Guys, we need to do it again
and not wait as long as time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
I know we should definitely do it again. For sure,
we can do it. Part two, Part dose. Where can
people reach you if they want to follow you, work
with you, find you?

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Everything is so easy, coach Renee Bellinger. So my name,
that's my Instagram handle? Well, My TikTok is kind of
dormant right now in my website, but I mostly live
on Instagram and my website sometimes TikTok if I feel
like I can handle another social media.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
How you up.

Speaker 5 (01:02:50):
You're not trying to do too much?

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
We'll have all this information in our show notes as well. Yeah,
thanks for coming on today.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
Oh, thank you for having me. It was.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
You you too, all right, take care, all right, all right,
bye bye. I hope you enjoyed this episode, so why
not share with a friend who needs to hear it?
Send us a DM on Instagram or email us at
cutthcrappod at gmail dot com, and join our Patreon at
Patreon dot com slash Cut the Crap Podcast. As always,
we appreciate you and thanks for being here.

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196 - You Aren't Broken! With Renee Bellinger

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}196 - You Aren't Broken! With Renee Bellinger