Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, but I don't tell my daughter that she's fat.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
But every time that you look at yourself in the mirror,
you're saying that you're fac out and you're hiding from
the photos.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And your children are picking up on all the watchings.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Yes, they're always watching. They're being exposed to it, good
or bad.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Right. You know, I think that we're doing better from
the generation before, with you know, having more exposure to
healthier food items and to like have a better relationship
except some of the crunching influencers. Yeah, like we're not
going there. But I think as a whole we have
a lot more knowledge and education on how to better
speak about food.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yes, completely different than it was just a couple of decades.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Ago, right, but we still have the problem of how
the person is behaving just because you don't say to
your kid, hey, you're fat, but you're saying this about
yourself and you're not taking the photo in you are,
you know, shining away from wearing certain clothes. Your kids
are going to start asking and there is data to
support that the influence of words and the influencer of behaviors,
(01:03):
whenever it comes to this, are equal. Did you know
that there are kids as young as six being in
inpatient care for eating disorder, and the biggest influence is
the behavior off the parents, especially the matter.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Welcome to Cut the Crap with Beth and Map, the
world's number one no bullshit health and fitness podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Are you ready to cut the crap with your diet
and exercise, get strongest fuck, and build a healthy relationship
with food. Then you've come to the right place.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Let's go. If you'd like to support us in the podcast,
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(01:54):
These recipes are already in my Fitness Pal for easy
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Speaker 3 (02:02):
We believe that fitness is for everyone, so this is
our way of getting you started on your health and
fitness journey at a price most everyone can afford. So
what the fuck are you waiting for? I'll see you
in the patrech. Welcome to the show and Natalia, we're
excited to have you.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I'm very
I'm very excited.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I love I love the content that you guys put out,
so it's it's pretty exciting to be here.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
I'm so excited that you reach out. Seriously. I was like, yes,
that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I know, like it's funny because I heard I listened
to one off your podcast and I was like, why
does it sound like very familiar because I already followed
you on sociow but I didn't put the two insit together,
and I was like, oh, I.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
Thought that was cool. I was like, oh, wow, that's cool.
She randomly ran into our podcast. That's a good sign. Yeah,
we're coming up right.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Awesome, all right, So Na tell you, do you want
to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about
you and what you do and all that pun stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Of course, So my background is that I have competed professionally.
I was beginning Olympia Champion in twenty twelve, in the
very beginning of the beginning division and a lot of
the extremes, a lot of the all or nothing, and
I've been very vocal about the extremes because not only
like I appreciate my experience and all the doors that that,
(03:26):
you know, that season of my life opened, but what
I find is that whether you have competed or not,
most women that you speak to, you you can see
them in the same cycle that I was. Obviously, whenever
you're talking about the competitive universe, it is almost like
a pumped up version of it. But I feel like
(03:47):
this cycle of all or nothing, this cycle of I'm
going to go all in and I'm going to crash
and burn, and then they feel like a failure, and
then they feel like they suck, and then they don't
take photos with with their with their kids or in
a swim in suits, or they don't want to have
sex with their partner like all of that. It's their
feelings that I experienced, even though I was technically speaking
(04:11):
the best body in the world. So I started to
realize that there was something there that I had to
speak up about about the problems with that extreme mentality
that is keeping so many people, so many women stuck.
And I think that that's something that we align very much.
Is like the whole focusing on the two percent versus
(04:31):
mastering the ninety eight percent. Yeah, which that's you know
what I saw a lot when I was competing. Oh,
you have to have like this specific type of fish
because this fish is going to enter in your mitochondry.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I'm like, oh, fuck up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And we're seeing variations of this nowadays, and that's why
I've become a big advocate, you know. Like just as
one example, I remember very vividly a trip that my
husband and I I went in twenty twelve, three months
before I won the Olympia. At the time, he was
my boyfriend. We went to the south of Italy. We
were in Capri, one of the most beautiful places on
(05:09):
the planet.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I have one photo of.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Myself in a bikini and it's from like tits up
because I was chewing embarrassed to take a photo of
myself in a swimming suit. And that is three months
before having quote unquote the best body on the planet.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Wow, body does morphia right? Really rampant? Why do you
think you were struggling with that? Was that just because
of the standard you had for yourself or.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Not just these standards.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I think these standards obviously does play a role on that,
but I think that there is that constant reminder that
the body that you accomplish is temporary, which is the
same cycle that I feel a lot of women are
in right now. They go to the kido and then
they're getting the best shape of their lives, and it's
kind of like it is not as sustainable with strategy
for them, and they're constantly just waiting for the shoe
(06:02):
to draw and then it's like, oh, it's just a
matter of time until I'm fat and sassy again. And
that's how I felt even when I competed, Like the
day after I won the Olympia, I was embarrassed, like
one hundred percentury story, I was embarrassed to wear a
sports brought to work on the booth of the supplement
company that I work at the time, because I had
gone to town the night before, Like I ate myself
(06:25):
sick to the point that I had a sick bucket
near my bed.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
You know, after you, just after you I competed.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, And I think that it is important for like
for this kind of message to be out there, because
you know, not everybody gets to win the Olympia, And
I feel society nowadays is looking up to people who
are fit and just seeing the highlight reel, and I
think it is important to talk about these things, and
you know, for for for women to be like, Okay,
(06:54):
so if somebody who was there felt that way, I'm normal.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
So how can I that?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Yeah? I love that a lot of women.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
I wish they all understood that we all kind of
have the same thoughts, you know, in some.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
Form or another, we have been there.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah, yeah, you know, And I think that for me,
the come to Jesus moment was my husband was a
professional rugby player for fifteen years off his life. He
represented his country, he represented Ireland like he really played
at the highest level. And I started to date him.
And the problem is that whenever you surround yourself with
that environment where everybody is eating out of a ziploc bag,
(07:36):
or maybe the environment that you're in is that every
single one of your friends or doing a juice sing
or cleanse whatever next bullshit is out there. It's the
norm because that's what you're surrounding yourself with. And then
for me was the story I was telling myself, Oh,
I'm you know, I'm an athlete and you know I'm
competing at the highest level. Then I started dating my husband.
My husband was a professional athlete who got paid to train.
(08:00):
I didn't get paid to train. I just got paid
if I want mm hmm. And he had a life
outside of his sport, and I started to realize that
I didn't. So that was kind of when the like,
for me, things that started to oh hmm, interesting. So
that was a bit of a wake up call for me.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
That's interesting you say that the sport that you're that
you were in was isolating, because what I'm doing right now,
I don't know if you saw, like I'm doing a
bikini prep just for a team photo shoot. It's not
like for anything professional. I'm not getting on stage or anything.
But the isolation just from doing this has been quite insane.
In fact, like me and my husband have even like
(08:39):
had arguments about it. It's funny that you say the
isolation from like not eating out, you know, the socializing
like everything. It's not like you said your husband was
in a sport, he was able to live outside of
that sport.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, that was very That was very eye opening for me,
and you know, being around the outer professional athletes as well.
While he's they did have obviously, you know, if you
have a goal, you're going to have to make sacrifices,
and you can all live ordinary not life and expect
an extraordinary outcome.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
It just is that you get out what you put in.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
However, I think that as a life, stars should progress
and your priorities start to change. And for me really
clicked whenever I had my kids. I'm like, I can't
be spending five hours in the gym anymore, like I
can be eating out of a ziploc bag and you know,
freaking out every time that I look at an ice
cream because that won't be a good message for my kids,
(09:39):
and I'm going to lose my sanity.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Yeah, that's really important. I think for women to hear.
A lot of our listeners can I'm sure resonate with
what you're saying right there, with that that all or
nothing thinking and the extremes that we put ourselves through.
But I think it's also important for our listeners to understand, like, wow,
here's a professional bodybuilder was labeled literally you won the
whole thing right at Miss Olympia, and you still struggled
(10:04):
with these thoughts and this mindset. And I think it's
just really important for that people to feel it's not normal.
That's not normal. But everybody struggles with that, and not
nobody's exempt from that struggle.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, and I think that it is about finding the
solution to that. And the way that I look at
it is that I would speak with a woman who
is I don't know, fifty years old, forty five years old.
Now they are, you know, the primary caretaker for their children.
They work a full time job where it is very demanding.
(10:39):
It is that age that you're climbing the corporate letter,
the career letter, and it is also the age where
our parents are aging. So you also become the default
caretaker for your parents as well. And they are trying
to do the things that they did when they were
in college when their only responsibility was to have cling
underwear to make it to work and get you faced
(11:00):
it that night, and then they don't understand why, Oh
my god, I don't understand why it's not working, and maybe.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I need to do my work cardio.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
No, maybe you need a new strategy because you're trying to,
you know, fit the college strategy when you had like
twenty hours of disposable time in your life and now
you have twenty minutes at best of disposable time in
your hands, and then by constantly going back to those extremes,
(11:29):
it starts to chirp away their confidence within themselves, like
the confidence that they can. And I think that that
is the biggest problem of this never ending cycle, is
that it takes away the confidence within themselves that it
is possible, that there is a way out. And I
think that that's why I resonate so much with with
(11:51):
Yourl's message, because it always comes down to the simplicity
to you know, keeping things simple, like you oh, because
you know, I need to do this talks and I'm
gonna wait the weight advast and then you go out
on the weekend and you get ship faced and you're
like eating orioles out of a stripper stitz.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And then and then you don't I don't know.
Speaker 6 (12:11):
I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Oh my god, I don't know what happened. Like it
just doesn't make sense, right, yeah, oh my god. I
saw posts today you I think you know him, but
the post was some of you suffer from hormonal hypochondria,
a new condition I invented. It means that you continually
(12:34):
blame your hormones for all your symptoms. When more often
than not, your symptoms are a result of your less
than ideal lifestyle habits.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
There was that posted that, right, Yes, that's it.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I literally just took a screenshot of it like fifteen
minutes ago because when I saw that, I'm like, that
is like the best description.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, m hm, for sure it.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
I mean, I've done it.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I think that it is important to a knowledge that
the hormonal component does exist. Yep, you know what I mean. Like,
we're not here out here saying that it's like, oh,
like screw your hormones, like it doesn't do anything. No,
it does, but we can not use it as a
shield and a sword because I find that a lot
of people are like, well I haven't been consistent. I
(13:21):
like shit, and like my nutrition is not great. I
go ch orange theory like once a week it must.
Speaker 7 (13:27):
Be my hormones, and I'm like, yeah, agreed, Yeah, gotta
get Like, if you can't be consistent with something for
thirty sixty ninety days, like we have no business blaming
anything else.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
And that's the bare minimum asking somebody to be consistent
with for thirty days, honestly, Right, So how did you
kind of start pulling yourself out of that mentality.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I think that it was really like, I'm a big
believer that you don't know what you don't know. And
I think that that's also the problem with a lot
of people out there that they only know the keto,
the you know, fasting, the fasting, the detox, that's all.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
They know, and they think that that's the solution.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So for me, I only the way I knew how
to get in shape was with the extremes, with eating
out of a ziploc bag and you know, starving, cutting carbs.
But then I started to see my husband with his lifestyle,
and I'm like, huh, and my husband looks good, like
he looked good then, and he was a professional athlete,
and I'm like, huh. Interesting, And I started to become
(14:25):
a little bit more acutely aware about the people around
me who were in you know, decent shape, but they
still had had a life.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
So I started to kind of like move up on
that one.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know that cycle whenever you don't know that you
have a problem, and then you become aware that the
problem exists, but you don't know that it is your
problem yet. So it's kind of like how I went
up the ladder. And then for me, the really come
to Jesus moment was when I had my son. That
was like really might come to Jesus moment. And then
(14:58):
as I was trying to find my footing after having
my son, I found out that I was pregnant with
my daughter when my son was four months. So I
was like, there is no way that I'm going to
be able to raise two very small kids, maintain my
sanity and stay fit in the way that I know
how to do it. So I had to learn how
(15:21):
to do it a different way.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
So motherhood was a real like uha not ah mumble,
ladies had to come to a moment that kind of
shed the light on the dark there for you.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, And I think that there was also you know,
I'm Latina, and in Latino households, there is always a
running commentary about your body. I don't know what the
hell it is, like, You're never good enough. You're either
too fat or toe skinny or you know, oh my god,
you look dragged, like to this day, you know, family
members would be like, oh my god, that those shorts
like they look stupid.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I'm like, good thing they're on me. Imagine how stupid
they would look on you. I love that, you know,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, so I like, I think that I've learned how
to become a bit more thicker skin. But whenever you
grow up in that kind of environment, it can make
you a bit like your image of self distorted. And
I didn't want to replicate that for my children. I
was doing the cabbage soup diet with my mom when
I was twelve. I watched my mom do every diet
(16:22):
on the book and talk about her body like, oh,
I'm too fat, all those pants, Oh my god, look
at the muffin top. Oh I'm going to get a
lipl section. And so I knew that I didn't want
to replicate that with my kids because I know what
it did to me.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, what was your decision? Like, why did you pursue
reading in the bodybuilding?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
That's an awesome question.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
So can I kind of like take a few steps
back because I think it's going to be context. So
I'm originally from Brazil, So if you're struggling to understand me,
that's why sometimes I don't even understand my accent. But anyway,
so I moved here from Brazil when I was about
twenty I dropped out of LAYD School in Brazil, which
is a bachelor's not a master's like it is here.
(17:03):
And I came here with three hundred and fifty dollars
from my name at twenty years old, and I knew
one person, which was a friend from middle school.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Middle school, so it was like literally like a sink
or swim moment.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
And you know, I started to get different jobs, and
then I started bartending in a very nice place, and
again going back to behaviors that started to become normal
when they're around you all the time. Yeah, so the
behavior that it starts to become normal was getting shit
faced every night, and you know, the nights that I
wasn't working, I was promoting the bar that I worked
(17:39):
at in another club, so therefore I was getting shit
faced too. So I kind of like looked around the
people that were with me and I'm like, do I
want to be like them? When I am I don't
know insert age, and I'm like, yeah, that doesn't really appeal.
So I and I found myself a bit of drift
(18:01):
and somebody mentioned about competing and I'm like, huh, maybe
that is going to be one thing that gives me
a purpose, like something to work towards other than just
getting drunk all the time. And the funny thing is
that I never found the look the physical. I hated it.
I didn't find it attractive at all, Okay, So I
(18:23):
never got into it with the idea of being like, hmm,
I want to look like that. You was more a
personal emotional challenge, Okay, that I do it, yes, yeah, yeah,
And just because I needed something to keep me centered
and to keep me going. And so that kind of
landed on my lap, and that's how he began begun.
(18:45):
And you know, I won all like the first I
don't know, five six shows that I did. After my
first competition, I was already featured in all the major
you know, fitness magazines in the country and in the world,
like Muslim Fitness, Muslim Fitness, Hers, Flex, Muscular Development, so
kind of like really took off and then the rest
was history.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
So I was very fortunate that I feel like a
lot of times I was in the right place at
the right time with the right people, and he allowed
me to grow my name. And that's kind of what
I'm so grateful. I'm very grateful for the bodybuilding industry
for the doors that he opened. But I think that
we can. And because I'm so grateful, because I think
that there are so many opportunities. That's why I'm so
(19:25):
vocal about the things. They're also wrong. I don't think
that it's mutually exclusive for you to be grateful for something,
but be like, y'all are fucking up on this. Okay,
bunch of people are dying. We need to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
M All things can be true.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, both things can can be true. So that's kind
of how how I got into the into competing.
Speaker 6 (19:45):
M H.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
So you had already kind of had a past with
these diet culture struggling with die culture, right. You said
you did the Cabage sup diet at twelve with your mom.
So do you feel like them getting in the bodybuilding
exacerbated those dire culture issues you were that you were
exposed to at a young age.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yes, And I think that it's not that it exacerbates.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
It allows you to give a quote unquote technical term
to the bullshit that you've lived your whole life with.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Got it, because.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Ultimately it's kind of like it's that oh or nothing.
You gain weight and you lose weight, and you gain
weight and you lose weight. Embodybuilding they call it on
season and off season. Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
Like you have like you have the binge and starve
binge and starve embodybuilding they call it on and off season.
And it's like, oh, yeah, you put thirty pounds, it's
(20:34):
muscle girl. No yanked, yanked, You didn't gain thirty pounds
off muscle. Stop it right, Its be real. Yeahah, like
not only stop it, stop it like now and so
and and That's that's kind of the thing for me
that like takes me a bit because I do see
a lot of young girls getting into it with a
(20:55):
history of eating disorder, and then they get into compete.
It's like it's saved in my life. I'm like, no,
he just gave you a name to justify your behavior.
Speaker 6 (21:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
That's heavy.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Yeah, that is.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
That's one thing I experienced when I was I first
started getting really fit, you know, back into twenty twelve,
so like about ten years ago, though in my late twenties,
I was seeing people women of my age at that time,
late twenties or mid twenties just starting with their fitness journey,
but prepping for a show, you know, and that's the
(21:26):
first exposure they ever had to weightlifting, to diet any
or anything like that is I've got some weight to lose.
The thing right now is to prep for a show.
And so everybody was prepared, you know, preparing for physique
or a bikini show or something, even though they had
been training for you know, a couple of months. And
then you know, you always see the post show rebound
and how these people struggled then for years afterwards. It's
(21:47):
getting into it for the wrong reasons essentially.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah, And that's kind of one of the reasons why
I can say this hand in heart, I have never
in my life coached a competitor ever, because you know, listen,
winning the Olympia, I could be swimming money right now,
you know, like there's very few, Like I think you
can probably count in one hand how many females have
(22:11):
won the bikini division. Yeah, but I know what he
put me through, and I don't think that I would
be able to put my head in the pillow and
know that I am jeopardizing somebody's mental and physical health
the same way that he compromised mine, and that that
girl it might be somebody's daughter, just like minus I
(22:32):
would like somebody should do the same for my child.
So I never I never had like people will call
like I want to pay I'm like, mmm, nope, yeah,
no money that is going to pay.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Me to do that.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Look at that moral compass love it.
Speaker 6 (22:47):
Yeah right.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
I want to ask you, so, going from Miss Olympia
to having two kids within fourteen months of each other,
how did you feel about your body through those transformations?
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Right?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I was a mess?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, And that's kind of the thing that like takes
me too, you know, like, because then we're talking about
the two different sides of the spectrum. We have the
very extreme, like the only way to be happy is
if you were like ripped to shreds with astriations and
like veins popping out on your arm. And then we
have the toxic positive, the toxic body positivity bullshit on
(23:28):
the other send of the end of the spectrum, that's
like you just need to be grateful because you're just
bless And that message also annoyed me because I feel
like the way that I feel about it, and because
I felt that way whenever I was going through the
(23:51):
challenges within my body from you know, two pregnancies back
to back, was like, listen, I am grateful for my body. Yeah, whooh,
go us, but I don't like how I look. I
think that again, both can be true. And every time
that you speak with someone and they start with the
whole speel like, oh, you just need to be gratful,
I'm like okay, but I feel that that messaging is
(24:14):
also taking the power away from women to be honest
about how they truly feel. So what happens is that
they start to like push that feeling down and pretend,
let's pretend they don't exist. And it kind of looks
a bit like that Central Bullock movie that.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
You know, and one you can't make any.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Noise, yeah and yeah, and then it becomes kind of like, Okay,
everything is great, but you know what, like I'm not
gonna play with my kids in the pool because I
hate how I look in a swimming suit. Oh but
everything is I'm just so blessed. Oh, but I'm not
gonna go to the park with my kids because i
hate how my life's looking at shorts.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Yeah, I think rather than body positivity, and I agree
with what you're saying. Body positivity started in a good way,
but then, like with anything with most things, that pay
off to the extreme other end. So I want people
like more of a body neutrality approach, right, Like you
can be grateful for the amazing things your body does
and how strong it is, but still want to change
your body.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah, And that's kind of how how it changed for
me that, Like I struggled a lot with the physical changes.
But instead of looking at the going to the gym
as a you know, I have to do it because
I need to get rid of this valley, because I
hate this valley. It was more like I I want
(25:33):
to be an example for my kids. I want you know,
I like I need a routine. I'm ade EHD, So
don't tell me what my routine is going to be. Like,
I'm gonna tell myself what my routine is going to
be like, and that's it and I need to stick
with it. So for me, I almost became a little
bit of a routine. Whenever my son was born. You know,
I found this gym that allowed me to bring him
(25:53):
in a car seat. Whenever I was like six ex
post partner, I would bring him and I'll train and
I had like I had that sh down to science,
Like there was this second that I had to leave
my house, you'd nap in the car and then halfway through,
like everything was militarily planned. And I think that that
gave me a sense of control within my my environment,
(26:16):
that allowed me to let go a little bit off
the control that I felt I needed within my body.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
If that makes any sense.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yep, it totally makes sense. And because then you were
able to show up for yourself in a way that
that felt right to you.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, And I think that that's the thing as well,
Like there is this but I feel guilty. I'm like,
I feel a lot more guilty about being a bit
when I'll take care of myself. I am not a
very nice person whenever I'm not taking care of me,
and I think that that is much more detrimental to
the people around me than for me to completely give
what I don't have and then be a monumental seaword
(26:54):
like the T shirt you were wearing, the address.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
I see you next Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
I'm a way better mom, and I have way or
patience when I take care of myself. It's like if
I didn't, I, like you said, I would be a
fucking nightmare.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
There's you know, I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Not a very pleasant person to be around me.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Now, that's one thing, right, we all work with women,
and that's what women are so ingrained to believe or
feels like bad for taking care of themselves, bad for
putting themselves first. When you know, I like to use
the old analogy. Right when you're in an airplane, what
is the flight attend to tell you at the beginning
of the flight in the case of emergency, put your
(27:37):
own air mask on before you put you help anybody else,
because you need to help yourself before you can help
other people.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And I think that one thing that is not spoken
about because God forbid you talk about it. Oh my God,
is the resentment that he builds. Yeah, I will never
be resentful off my kids.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh you will.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
It's either going to be your kids, or it's going
to be your spouse, or it's going to be both.
And then it's going to be like, I don't know,
fifteen twenty years down the line. Because we work with
a lot of women, you know, like in their fifties, sixties,
and if I like begin to tell you the amount
of times that it's like, oh my god, like all
the pictures I didn't take, all the trips I didn't
(28:17):
go all the moments I didn't enjoy, and you can
hear the resentment on the kids, and you start to
put that pressure on your kids because you resent them
because you put your life on pause to serve in
this almost like self flagellation capacity. And then you want
your kids should give you back because you made the
(28:39):
choice of doing that, and then your kid like, your
kids don't wanwe you anything, right, So it just becomes
that like that never ending cycle of like resentment and
also like with your spouse, because whenever you don't feel confident,
I don't care what anybody says. I don't remember out
of all the women that I have spoken in the
past year, how many of them said that he didn't
(29:00):
impact your sex life m h in some relationship, right, yeah, Like,
and we need I think we need to talk about
it because it is real. And again it becomes another
layer off that toxic body positivity. Oh no, but he
just loves you how you are. But this isn't about him.
It's about us and how we feel on how we
(29:21):
bring ourselves to our relationship. Because I feel like if
I feel like a bag of shit, that is going
to show up on how I act on, how I speak,
on how I set boundaries, listen.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
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Speaker 5 (31:26):
When you went from let's say Miss Olympia, and you
said you know you had to change your strategies, right,
you went from us doing your specific strategies. When you
were specific age, you had different goals, and then you're
a mom and you're like, Okay, I want to get
in shape. How did you change your strategies from Miss
Olympia Natalia to Momatalia.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I love this question because and it's it's interesting. Yesterday
I saw actually one of my clients send me a
post let me see if I can find it, which
was basically saying that your goals should fit this season
you're in m HM. And I strongly disagree with that.
(32:04):
And I'm going to tell you why. I strongly disagree
with that. I don't think that your goals should change.
The strategy should change. The expectations on how fast you're
going to get you the goals should change, but not
the goal. It's kind of like that that quote, Okay,
change the plan, but never the goal. Yeah, and I
(32:24):
think that, and yeah, I love that, and you know,
and I think that that's where the people are getting
lost in the sauce of being like, oh, I'm never
going to be able to, you know, look my best again.
I feel and listen, call me cocky. I don't care.
I feel like I look better now after two kids
than I did when I won the Olympia.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Sure, and maybe it's because you also have a better
body body image of yourself too. Maybe you don't have
as much body dysmorphia as you did the back then
as well.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
There is that, but even like whenever I put side
by side the photos, I'm like, I like this, Yeah,
you know, and you know, call me cocky. I don't
care crime a river, but you know, I thought that
if we don't love ourselves, who will.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And I think it didn't happen overnight.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Whenever I was competing, you was like, oh my goodness,
it's like sixteen weeks both to the walls crush and burn,
and for me to get you where I am right
now has been you know, one day at a time,
one day at a time. So I think that the
biggest shift was the management of the expectation. Yeah, it's
not going to happen overnight.
Speaker 6 (33:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
The other thing is, I you know, chunks and I
am a perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I am a high achiever. I'm a as type ay
as they come. But I needed to become like I'm
a minus type, A minus because whenever you have children
or whenever you're running a business, we have like a
few businesses. My husband is a teacher, so you know,
and he coaches three sports, so his schedule is all
(34:01):
over the shop. We don't have any family help. So
I would love for my life to be perfect and
for the stars to align every single day, but that's
not reality. So letting go of the idea of perfection
that if I don't have that exact amount of time
to train, so what's the point of even showing up
was one of the biggest shifts for me. So one
(34:23):
of the biggest things that I believe that needs to
change in order for people to be able to create
this long term sustainable progression is to work on their mindset,
the relationship with the idea of perfection, the relationship with
it oh or nothing, because even whenever you speak, I
don't know, Like, we work with a lot of attorneys.
(34:44):
So like, let's say that I'm working with an attorney.
Imagine that every time that they go for emotion and
if they lose one motion, it's like, yep, that's it, this.
Speaker 6 (34:53):
Case is over.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, I'm not attorney anymore because fuck this shit, I'm out,
you know what I'm saying. So, like it just baffles
me that in every other area of life, people are
to an extent reasonable with the expectation of how perfect
they can expect them to be. But whenever it comes
to fitness, it's like, oh my god, if there is
(35:17):
that one bump on the road, fock this shit, hm,
which it doesn't work. Imagine every time my husband pissed
me off. We've been together for fifteen years. I don't
know how long you all have been with your partner.
If every time my husband annoyed me or I annoyed him,
if you were to be like, yeah, that's it, we're out,
we wouldn't have made a month, right, but were still
trying to work on it. And I think that that
(35:38):
is kind of like looking at my relationship with fitness,
which by default is a relationship with myself, the same
way that I look at at my relationship in other
areas of life.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Yeah, that cognitive distortion, that's that all or nothing cognitive distortion.
That's the most common thinking error is what I like
to call it, right, it's a thinking error, it's a
it's a mindset issue, and that's the most common in
my experience working with with majority women, is that all
or nothing thinking, that perfectionist mindset.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Yeah, And like I just this very recent example, I
just had a couple of flat tire a couple of
weeks ago in my car. Right, I didn't have slash
my other three tires when I walked out. And this
is after I had just gotten done with the long
run too, so I was exhausted. Last thing I wanted
to do was change the fucking tire. But I didn't
slash my own three tires. I didn't sell my car.
I didn't say fuck it. Right, it's yeah, fixed fix
the tires. So fix the problem, whatever it is that
(36:29):
caused you to get off track and then move on
with it.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
You should just stop training now, Matt.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, every time I do get a flat tire, yeah yeah,
Like it was like you was the right, you was
the run, and like these are the associations that make
no sense. It's kind of like the causation thing. It's like, oh,
see got a flat tire because I went for a run.
That's it. Just because it happen, It doesn't mean that
(36:56):
they're related. And I think that that's also what happens
is a lot of times whenever people look at there,
it's kind of like someone starts being more attentive to
what they're eating, and then they start exercising, and then
they start to take grings. For example, grings changed my
life because since I started it, right, what about all
(37:16):
the other things that you're doing? The brainstress formed my life, right, And.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
That's also what happens when you change a bunch of
things in your life right away in the name of
making a lifestyle change, right, you start changing all these
variables and then you really truly don't even know which
ones are are working and what what because everything's different.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Yeah, And it's interesting that you say that, because a
lot of times you know what I see, and I'm
sure that you guys. See I'm speaking with someone and
they're like, oh, no, like what I need to do?
I just need to add more cardio all the freaking
I just need to add more cardio. And I'm like, right,
if you go back to the conversation a few like
chats before, it's like, but I'm just so busy, I
(38:00):
don't know what time I'm going to fit it in.
And it's like, how is it that this solution to
your problem is to add more things when the problem
you are trying to solve it is that you already
don't have the time to do the little things that
you're trying to do. It just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
Or lowering your calories when you can't be consistent with
the ones you have.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Oh yeah, that I need twelve hundred calories to lose
weight because there sixteen hundred.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Oh my god, that's too.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Much for me, right, But then again, you're eating oreos
out of a shipper stits on the weekend, and then
you're wondering why that's how it works?
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah, and nowver matter the fact that the twelve hundred,
you know, while that might work, right, and that's why
so many women go to it. It works because I
lose weight right away, But then, as we know, they
can't be consistent with it because it's so low from
the majority of women. Yeah, yeah, let's be consistent with
that sixteen hundred, be brutally consistent with it. You're going
to feel better, You're gonna be able to be consistent.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, yeah, no, it's it's And another thing that it's
kind of like annoy me a bit is the over
over tracking off useless data.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Ah, that annoys me, like greatly.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
My whoop told me that I'm supposed to be tired today,
I'm super yeah, my or like like I know, I
used to wear an oor ring, and I started to
realize and listen, I don't have anything against you want
like knock yourself out.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
But what I found it was.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Even unintentionally, I was allowing you to dictate how I felt.
I would wake up and I'm like, feel great, conquer
the world, and I would look at my app and it'd
be like, holy shit, go back to bad and I'm like, oh, oh,
so I should be feeling like crap because that's and
then I would start to almost like feeling lethargic.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
And you lose sense of like being connected with your body. Yeah,
listening to your body what it's actually telling you, right.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Which then brings me to the other point, which you
have all these women they're like, I'm just listening to
my body. But my Apple watch told me that I
burned five hundred and fifty calories of my Orange Theory
boot camp, and then my whoop thing told me that
I wasn't recovered enough. But you know what, I just
listened to my body. No, you're not listening to your body.
We're becoming even more disconnected from our bodies. And then
(40:23):
we're like, I'm intuitively eating I'm like, your intuition is
telling you to eat a cake because you haven't been
paying attention to what you truly feel.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, so disconnected. Yeah, I love that. And gadgets are cool.
Gadgets are fun. You know, they can be useful, but
they aren't the end all be all, and when when
when we're obsessing with these things. One thing I'm seeing
right now is like the smart scales, you know, the
smart scales. Yeah, that's another our bone density, our muscle mass,
our body five percentage, even though none of that's accurate.
(40:54):
But we're using these things and to dictate how we
fucking feel and how we show up for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, and that's it. It's kind of like an analogy
that I like to use. It's like using because we
all know, like the caloric output given by a smart
watch is inaccurate, you know, the rest thing is inaccurate.
I just recently spoken with Laura doctor Lauren colenso yes, ago,
I love her. She's actually speaking at my events in Dallas,
(41:20):
and I'm so exciting. Yeah, and you know, we had
that conversation about the whole cycle sinking, and then there
are the apps that are measuring your temperature, which the
research that she has done has proven time and time
again that body temperature alone does not dictate where you
are on your cycle. So we have all these gadgets
(41:41):
that are like a broken gas gauge that people are
using to decide when they're going to put gas in
their car, and the car being their own bodies.
Speaker 5 (41:51):
It's just right not working people are They're obsessed with
their gadgets. They're letting them dictate their fucking life.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Yeah, like and it's like, I think he can be great
for exemple trackers, steps for things. Oh yeah, but then
whenever you let it kind of like, oh today I
can have like a sleep because my Apple Watch told
me that I burned seven and fifty so my inkline
walk off twenty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
With logic, right, I look at it logically. This is data,
one form of data that I'm tracking and measuring and
taking the emotion out of it. That's when we get
in trouble when we use it to dictate how our
mood is, like waking up first thing in the morning
and maybe the whoop says we're stressed and it's a
low low activity day or something, right, but I want
to go on my run, I want to go strength train,
(42:38):
and so that could really bump people out. So yeah,
we need to get disconnect the emotion from it.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
And then to distrust me is to go work out
so I don't punch people in those Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yeah, And then.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
You got the adding the calories back.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Okay, wait, why are you eating five hundred extra calories
a day?
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I earned it? No, you didn't.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
My Fitness Pal I exercised and it said burn five
hundred calories, right.
Speaker 6 (43:01):
You got to stop.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Gotta stop fucking people up.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, it really is. And here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I know that we're saying this in in a fasicious
manner and you know, trying to extend diseases for us
to say because we are within the industry. And you know,
an analogy that I make is like I don't understand
about HVAC. We had a problem with our air conditioning.
And then the guy comes here and he starts to
talk all these technical terms. I'm like, bro, like, can
(43:28):
you just tell me what I need to do to
get my house cold again? Because I'm in Texas and
as hot as hell? And how much is that going
to be like, and then you open the Internet and
they are going to be all the people. It's kind
of like the same with finances. And then you buy
the gea wagon and then you're like, it's like government
gives you money, so you have all the shortcuts of
(43:48):
the Internet. And people are becoming skeptical because they don't
know who to trust.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And what they know.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
And then you have like people who claim to be
experts selling I'm going to open a kind of worms here,
but but what selling the you know, the supplements, the
natural paths and the homeopaths, and like you're selling them,
but their doctors, their PhD. I think it's becoming harder
and harder for people to know who to trust and
(44:16):
what to do. And because and because there's so much information,
people are becoming paralyzed because they don't even know where
to begin.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
And that's sad.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Yeah, and then people don't even trust us. Then when
we're saying, hey, maybe just go on more walks, strength
train a couple of times a week, crush your protein,
crush your fiber, and you're gonna be fine, be like, oh,
like that they don't trust us because they're being told
all these really over complicated solutions, right.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
It can be that simple.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
We'll send a punch to a person that are like, no,
it's not gonna work for me, and I'm like, yeah,
I promise, trust no. But it's a I could have
done this myself because and I think that's what in it.
But what I think that, like, the problem that is
happening is people don't understand how much experience it takes
to simplify a complex problem. Agree to talk out of
(45:06):
your ass about the forty five degree angle off the
lap pull down that if your elbow is not a
like two degrees to the front, that is not cat Like.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
You can't optimize shit. Optimize shit is still shit.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Mh. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (45:25):
What did you just say optimized shit is to just
do shit?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Is that?
Speaker 6 (45:28):
You know?
Speaker 2 (45:28):
It's still ship Like it's kind of like trying its lapping.
Is lapping a lipstick in a pig. Yeah, it might
be a cute pig, but it's too a fucking pig. Yeah,
And that's what I think people are trying to do
with the overcomplication, and everybody's trying to sound smart, and
it's like, you know, optimize your hormones because your mitochondrias
are struggling for energy from the deepest level of the
(45:52):
inside out to empower.
Speaker 6 (45:54):
You talk to me like a person.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
Yeah, like what you like, like like a six year
old please, so I can understand?
Speaker 1 (46:01):
And you know, right, And my kids are very involved.
They know what I do.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
You know, it's interesting. They know these stories of my
clients and a lot of times I will try to
explain something to them and they're like they ask very
basic questions. Yeah, And whenever I have to explain to them,
I'm like, huh huh, there is something here, like because
if my nine year old cannot understand, I'm not saying
(46:25):
that people out there are stupid, but that's the language
that I believe that we need to use. So it
becomes information that is more accessible to people.
Speaker 5 (46:35):
And then they don't have all that outside noise either, right. Yeah,
It's like people need to fucking start on following people
that scare the shit out of them and still fear
in them, and it's just like clear your feed up.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Yeah, no, one hundred percent. And you know, I saw
somebody post something the other day and it was like, oh,
let's celebrate all kinds of exercise, and I agree, and
I don't want to overcomplicate. But what I find is
that people are also going into things. They're getting into
activities without understanding what the outcome of set activity is.
(47:08):
For example, you have a menopausal woman, a woman who
wants to yes, who wants to like you had to
throw that in there, Yeah, who once shows body fat
and build muscle because it's important.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
That isn't a fly. They're like, you know what I'm
gonna do? Plants?
Speaker 6 (47:27):
Right?
Speaker 2 (47:29):
No, no, and listen, it's not that pilaitis is bad.
You want to do politis knock yourself out, Yay, here
for it, right, But if your goal is muscle development,
that ain't it. It's kind of like me going to
a you know, a tennis coach and ask him to
get me ready for a bodybuilding competition.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with tennis, it's just the wrong
the wrong coach for your goal, right, the wrong tool
for the job.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
And that's the thing whenever people don't understand the difference
of the tools. Everything looks like a fucking hammer, and
for a hammer, everything to looks like a nail.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
Yeah, she's got a lot of analogies today, but it
is like, for example, like, oh, it's all hormones.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
So if it's hormones, you need to do this without
peeling delayers and trying to understand. I don't know, Like
a lot of times people's relationship with food now has
a lot to do with how they were brought up,
and I feel like a lot of people don't have Like,
don't put that two into together. You come from an
abusive household, There is a lot of evidence to support
that you're more likely to develop disordered eating patterns for
(48:35):
the need of control.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
So we're treating.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
A lot of these symptoms without peeling delayers, simplifying things
and getting to the root cause of the behavior.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, well again, maybe we're just not aware, or it's
the fact that that kind of work is dirty and
ugly and horror whereas these other protocols and tools they
don't account for those things, and they give you the solution.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
Essentially, I like to call they give you the mental
masturbation of it, like that tinkly feeling that you know,
it's kind of like paining for the gym and ah,
but I'm Pink's the best gym in town, but you
never show up.
Speaker 6 (49:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
Oh, this Jim, he has a cold plunge.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
He has a sauna infra red sauna, he has pilots included,
but you never.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Go kind of reminds me in a way. I was
having a conversation yesterday my Facebook group about somebody that's
on THEPGLP one right now and they don't like how
it's making them feel, even though they've lost forty pounds, right,
and so she's considering coming off of it. She's like,
why can't I just get off of it and then
do what I'm supposed to do, right, make the changes?
And I'm like, well, yeah, that's fine, but were you
(49:44):
doing those things before? Let's be honest here, are you
going to do those things if you come off of it,
because you're still not doing them now even though you're
on the drug right right. It's that idea of like,
oh I just it's a shiny object, like oh I
can do it, but even though I've proven time and
time and time and time again that I wasn't able
to do it, So what's going to be any different now?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
There is a level I think of and this is
going to sound terrible, So I apologize, like a level
of delusion that I don't have an answer on how
to solve the problem. But I think that there is
a level of delusion on expectation of ability. There is
a term for that, something that is it's kind of like, oh,
I've been stuck for two decades, but sure give me
(50:24):
the three month plan and I'm going to be cured.
That's not how it works. And I think that that
is the thing that we need to start talking about,
is that if you want lifestyle changes, you are going
to have to understand that it's not going to be
a three month solution.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Heck, it's not going to be a six month solution.
It might not even be a year solution.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
But I think that expectation management of the outcome in
the sense of like, because there are two paths. Whenever
we're talking about transformation, you have the physical path of transformation,
which people think that it's difficult, but it's not. Any
idiot can lose a bunch of weigh temporarily.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
The thing that we know is that maintaining.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
That and that is where the behavioral and the mental
aspect of it comes into play, because it's very easy
whenever you're feeding back into your clothes to be like,
oh I got it, and then life comes and kicks
you in the teeth and you have not developed the
skill set to navigate challenges and to navigate the seasons
of life. So these are the conversations that need to
(51:31):
be had more within the fitness community, which is a
fine it's a balance that it's hard to strike because
people want to get the results now. So I think
that if we want to get ahead of the fuck
faces who are selling the detox, we are going to
have to meet people where they're at and speak the
language that they need to hear. But I think also
(51:55):
reminding them that it is a process, and that the
job of a coach is not to remove the existence
of a process, but it is to simplify the process
for them so they can stay consistent with it.
Speaker 6 (52:08):
Yeah, you have.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Developed the framework the skills help them set the boundaries
that are going to be necessary for like, you know,
setting expectations with family members and things like that when
you're going through these changes and hopefully they're along for
the ride.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, and can I ask I know that I'm on
your y'all's podcast, but I would love to ask you guys,
how do you navigate whenever people are in an environment
that doesn't support their goals. Maybe it is a spouse
or you know, a group of friends and then they
start to look HoTT of shit and then the friends
are like, oh my guy, you just like you look
(52:42):
like a crackhead.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
Like we all know that. There are these kind of
comments like what is y'all's take on it?
Speaker 6 (52:48):
That's a good question.
Speaker 3 (52:49):
It is a good question.
Speaker 5 (52:50):
So make me think a little bit, like, it's never
about you. It's more of a reflection on them, right, right,
that's always the case. They're the ones that are probably
not doing anything, and so they need to deflect on
you because you're actually making changes for yourself and you
just need to keep your eyes straightforward. But it's hard
(53:10):
if you actually have a significant other. That's where you know,
there needs to be to some communications, some discussions going on,
like actual communication, not just like.
Speaker 6 (53:20):
I'm doing this now.
Speaker 5 (53:21):
You really need to have like, okay, that deep conversation
and it may not end up where you thought it would, right,
and sometimes divorce may happen. I don't know the separation whatever,
but this is where the change and like the behavior
change and you're becoming a new person and things. You know,
you might lose some friends and maybe a significant other.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Yeah, that is the hard reality, and I think that
that's great people don't want to be faced with that
is growth. But a lot of people don't want to
be faced with that because like what if I set
that boundary and say, hey, yeah, I'm cooking these meals
because I have this goals, so I'm tracking my calories
or my macros, whatever it might be. You can either
eat the food that I'm preparing or you can fire
something out on your own. And you might get some
pushback for that, right, it might cause some discomfort or
(54:05):
arguments even but that's a you know, that's a different
can of worms to open, right.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
But to be fair, I also think that women a
lot of times they use that as as a clutch
no to knock on the bridge to not create change.
Are their partners who are difficult to put it nicely, Yes,
we've come across, but more times than not, I think
that there is also the layer of the discomfort of
(54:35):
rocking the boat a little bit. Yeah, like oh my goodness,
like because my husband won't help with the kids or
won't you know, pick up around the house.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
Okay, have you like said it right?
Speaker 6 (54:46):
Right? Oh?
Speaker 2 (54:46):
No, he like, you should just know, and I'm like,
and he should, but he doesn't. So we need to
start communicating about our goals. And it's interesting. There was
a call that I had with a lady that a
lot of times, and I can tell that the husband
is a big part of the decision. I'm like, he needs,
like he needs to come yeah, because I like, I
(55:08):
don't want the husband resenting the wife because he doesn't
know what she's spending money on and for her to
feel like she owes her husband something regarding her results,
because then she's going to be on our ass because
we're not making her lose five pounds.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Per week, right, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
There was this particular case that for her it was
almost like she needed him to tell her that she
could and not in the sense of like you can,
like you can't use our money to do it. It was like,
I think you're capable of doing it. She needed that reassurance.
And I think that a lot of women are living
(55:47):
their lives at about seventy five percent.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Because we have, you.
Speaker 3 (55:52):
Know, getting that validation from external sources other people.
Speaker 2 (55:56):
Yeah, there is that external validation out there, and you know,
I think it's great whenever you have a supportive partner,
but in a scenario like this, if you have like
an Andrew Taates type as your partner, you're not going
to get that validation. And then these women keep on
being more and more under everybody's thumb. And then by
the time they realize that they need to feed their
(56:19):
best how far from ideal will they be?
Speaker 6 (56:23):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (56:23):
That's another thing that is important to talk about.
Speaker 5 (56:26):
Yeah, and I get this question a lot the meals
that I make for myself, does my husband eat them too?
And I'm like, women, we are not our husband's mother,
right like we are their wife's significant other. And I
feel like a lot of women like serve their husbands
and it could be cultural, I don't know. But and
then they put themselves on the back burner. Right, well,
(56:51):
wants this, and so I want to make sure that
he's happy. It's like, well, what about you? Are you
fucking happy? I'm sorry, But for me, I have my goals.
I'm going to make my food my husband fucking cereal.
If he wants to, my son is fad and he
wants in the food that I made my son amazing.
Speaker 6 (57:05):
If not, then you know, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
And the thing like also with the kids. You know again,
I feel like a lot of women hide behind their kids.
But my kid won't eat that. Listen, if I were
to follow my kid's diets, I would be living off
mac and cheese and nuggets right right like I would
be having goldfish for breakfast. The reality is, how are
(57:30):
we expecting our children to develop a taste and appreciation
for the things that are going to be ultimately better
for their health if they're not being exposed to that,
because you're just doing what they want to do, right,
My son had a lot of problems with their eating,
with his eating, you know, his ADHD. There are a
lot of challenges with texture. Yeah, And it's funny because
(57:53):
now we have to bribe him to eat the protein
and the reward is a bowl of salad instead of
being the other way around. Oh, you have to eat
your vegetables and then we'll give you the nuggets. It's like,
you have to eat the nuggets, so we'll give you
the salad. That happened because he's watched my husband and
(58:14):
I eat in a way and maybe he has mac
and cheese nuggets and then we put a little bit
of a salad and a little bit of quino on
the side. He can touch it or he cannot touch it,
but we are eating it.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
Being exposed to it, and giving that up.
Speaker 1 (58:29):
They being exposed.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
And whenever he talks about we're talking about the exposure
as a whole. I think that there is also the
exposure of the behavior on the confidence side of the puzzle,
as on the confidence side of the things as well.
A lot of women kind of like a I was saying
in the beginning, a lot of women maybe grew up
in a home where there were a lot of commentaries
about their bodies. Oh, you're fat, Oh, you need to
(58:52):
lose weight. Oh my god, that like that is terrible
on you. Oh she's skinny. And now they might be
doing a bit differently from their parents with their children,
and oh but I don't tell my daughter that she's fat.
But every time that you look at yourself in the mirror,
you're saying that you're fat, you're a fat out, And
your child is watching that, and you're hiding from the photos,
(59:12):
and your children are picking up on all the watchers.
Speaker 3 (59:16):
Yes, they're always watching. They're being exposed to it, good
or bad.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
Right, you know.
Speaker 2 (59:21):
I think that we're doing better from the generation before,
with you know, having more exposure to healthier food items
and to like have a better relationship except some of
the crunching influencers. Yeah, like we're not going there. But
I think as a whole we have a lot more
knowledge and education on how to better speak about food.
Speaker 3 (59:40):
Yes, completely different than it was just a couple of
decades ago.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
Right, but we still have the problem of how the
person is behaving just because you don't say to your kid, hey,
you're fat, but you're saying this about yourself and you're
not taking the photo in you are, you know, shining
away from wearing some your kids are going to start
asking and there is data to support that the influence
(01:00:05):
of words and the influencer behaviors, whenever it comes to this,
are equal. Did you know that there are kids as
young as six being in inpatient care for eating disorder
and the biggest influence is the behavior of the parents,
especially the matter Wow, as young as six years old.
Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
It's heart breaking. I knew I never started early. I
knew it started early. I mean we hear it a lot,
Like I was put on my first diet. I went
with my mom the way watchers when I was eleven,
you know, so there's always being exposed to that, and
we see that now with the women that we work with.
Right it's, Oh, I had these on this unhealthy relationship
with food because of the way I was. I was
growing up. I was I had an almond mom, I
was in the cleaner play club. And now I'm I
(01:00:45):
have kids where I'm thinking about having kids, so I
want to change these behaviors now so I don't pass
those on. So I do. I do see that a lot,
which is awesome that we're making that evolution. At the
same time, we're also seeing it kind of reverse a
little bit too. I think right now we're in really
between a rock and a hard place because like GLP
ones and some of the stuff, like I'm not against them,
we're not against them, but like the way that people
(01:01:08):
are approaching them right now and the diet culture talk
behind them. It's really becoming prevalent again with the diet culture.
Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Yeah, we're very cognizant in my house to like we
don't talk about food as good or bad. We don't
talk about like, oh I need to go on a diet.
Oh I look x y Z in a swimming suit,
like we are very I'm crazy. Something happened in my
daughter's school actually, and you best believe that I showed
up with a folder off research to the principle and
I'm like, here's the problem with this. But then you
(01:01:38):
turn the TV on and and there is a lot
of the conversation with the GLP one advertisement, and again
very pro GLP one.
Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
I think it's a great tool.
Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Yeah, for sure, but it's like, how do you prepare
your your kids to not be so exposed to Like
I don't think that an eight year needs to know
that if you eat this, you're gonna get a big belly, right,
I don't think that is age appropriate. But we're watching
you know, TV on a regular time, and that's the
(01:02:09):
conversation that has had on an advertisement. So it's becoming
very difficult to protect your kids from that kind of messaging.
Speaker 6 (01:02:18):
Yeah, there needs to be some regulation, one hundred percent.
I think it's so far unregulated right now.
Speaker 5 (01:02:23):
It's I mean, I'm on my Loser app and it's like, yeah,
do you want to take a GLP one click this?
Speaker 6 (01:02:28):
Try now? And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
I mean, I'm obviously do not.
Speaker 5 (01:02:33):
You know, it's like, why aren't we just clicking these
things like buy now, go here. You know, it should
be like it's a freaking pharmaceutical that you like you're discussing,
like your cholesterol medication with your doctor, your high blood
pressure medication. But now it's like advertised everywhere as a
solution for everybody, And I think that that messaging is
what's toxic as fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
The problem that I have with it, like the biggest problem,
more so than that being everywhere, is because it is
being prescribed everywhere by people who do not know how
to educate the person who's receiving on the lifestyle changes
that are necessary to be made in order for that
change should be sustainable. That for me like more than
(01:03:17):
just being prescription happy, because if it is going to
help someone lose their weight, ideally speaking with a healthcare professional.
But the problem even today with the prescription of a
healthcare professional is that even healthcare professionals do not have
the most fundamental education to help someone with the lifestyle changes.
(01:03:39):
And you know, example, like I have high cholesterol because
of my family, and then I speak with the doctor
and he's like, oh, you need to go low carb.
I'm like bro, I am one hundred and twenty five
pounds soaking wet. Oh, you need to have a healthier lifestyle,
like I go to the gym five times a week.
I think that a lot of physicians, in fact, there
is physicians in medical school have nineteen hours in total
(01:04:04):
of nutritional education. You have the physicians, and again there
are exceptions should the rule. They're phenomenal physicians out there
who are very educated on the nutrition side of things,
but that is the exception of the rule.
Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
Absolutely. Yeah, That's what one of the most frustrating things
I do I'm experiencing with these way loss drugs is
the lack of education that people are seeing guidance. People
routinely come to me and my dms are and are
talking to me about their progress and how they're feeling,
They're not feeling well and things like that. It's like, well,
have you are you working with the registered dietitian and
are you talking do you have a coach? Are you
(01:04:39):
doing your strength training? You have a personal trainer? No,
it's just my doctor gave me this prescription. They bought
my dosage up every couple of weeks and then see
you later.
Speaker 6 (01:04:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
And that's so we're doing our clients and our patients
or whoever's doing these things a disservice.
Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Yeah, And it's being sold as you don't need a
coach because now you're going to lose fat with this.
And I feel like people think that they only need
a coach and they only need help if they're overweight.
And I will speak with women they're like, oh, I
don't need help because I'm alway, I'm just like five
pounds away from my goal. And I'm like, yeah, but
you've accomplished that by starving yourself and doing detos in
(01:05:16):
three day cleanses and seventy.
Speaker 6 (01:05:17):
Five hard Yeah, over and over again, over and.
Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Like rinse and repeat. And whenever you're talking about those medications,
their target audience are the women who need to keep
their muscle mass, and they're not being given these medications
in a way that allows them to keep them. So
it's a double double dip on the sarcopinia.
Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
Cliff absolutely, Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
We could talk about this all day. I'm passionate about this.
Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
We talked about it within the last few weeks. We
somehow find a way to sneak it in, and I
mean it's very not sneaking in. It's just very prevalent
right now.
Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Yeah, and I'm very pro I think that much like
your sound like, much like I have had clients that
I was like, hey, go we speak with your physician
because I do think that you would be a good candidate. Again,
it's not my place to prescribe, but I think that
given the things that I'm seeing, and we have a
red shirt dization, you know, so obviously she is not
allowed to prescribe, but I'm more than happy to be
(01:06:11):
like discuss with your healthcare provider because you might be
a good candidate for this. Which that's the problem as
well with a lot of fitness professional they're like, oh job,
you one is the devil.
Speaker 6 (01:06:20):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Think it's the devil. I think it's a great tool.
Speaker 5 (01:06:23):
It's a tool and a toolbox right to help these
people that haven't struggling forever.
Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 6 (01:06:29):
Yeah, it's a great tool.
Speaker 5 (01:06:30):
But with the behavior change and strength training and all
like that stuff that needs to go with it, Like
you can't just start taking it and be like, yeah,
I'll just wait to strength train when I lose all
the weight, Like I've heard that, Like, no, no, no,
don't do that.
Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Please, or the financial aspect as well of it. It's like, oh,
you know, like I'm spending money on this, so like
I'm not going to spend money on a coach and
I'm like, it's like buying a car, spending money on
the like the outside of it and not buying.
Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
The freaking wheels. Yeah, beautiful, you have a Ferrari without wheels.
Where are you going?
Speaker 6 (01:07:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
Yeah, all right, well we are over an hour now, great.
Speaker 6 (01:07:13):
Awesome conversation.
Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
Thanks for being here so much for having Yeah, do
you want to let everyone know where they can find you,
what you have to offer all that fun stuff of course.
Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
So Instagram is kind of like my main platform at
Natalia melow fit dot com and my my mom got
fit fancy with my name, so it's an A T
H A L I A, which I think you guys
are probably going to have in the show notes as well. Yeah, yeah,
Natali melow Fit, I have my website the same, I
stay consistent Natali melow fit dot com. I have a
(01:07:44):
podcast as well on filter fit Live Podcast, which, by
the way, it's fairly new and I am so in
all of you guys for the consistency. I think that
people don't understand how much work he goes behind, you know,
consistently showing up with a podcasts.
Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
So props to you guys.
Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
It is it's like a child, Like, yeah, it is
a baby.
Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
This is literally our baby, you know, and it's coming
up on there's like four years of consistency for us.
Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
Now that is impressed, Like he really is, like you
guys listening if the podcast is a labor off lave
and in the beginning you're doing it and you're just
like your mum listening to it.
Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
If that yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, this would be the main platforms
I always have, you know, free stuff that I'm giving
away on my my social media. I think that is
a very good way to meet people where they're at
with different resources, and you know, to to support people
if they are not in a position to invest in
something more intensive care.
Speaker 3 (01:08:45):
Yeah, for sure. And I know one thing about our
audience and our listeners is they fucking love podcasts and
there they love reaching out and like the community aspects.
So yeah, like I want to be surprised if you
got some listeners people checking you out and checking your
podcast out because we love podcasts here.
Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
So yeah, it's a filter fit life.
Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
And I think that we align very much on the
language that we use, that very direct messaging, which my
offense some But I think that I'm reading a book
about empathy because I do think that I can get
better on that. But it's interesting because even whenever you're
reading about empathy, a lot of the talk is about
not allowing yourself and the other person to become a victim,
(01:09:24):
because then you become an enabler.
Speaker 3 (01:09:26):
Yeah, that's one thing we talk about a lot, is
like you're saying, stuck in this victim complex and we're
trying to help people understand this, but then they get
offended by it. Right, It's like you just can't help
some people. You help them when they're ready.
Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
I think that that, for me, has been one of
the hardest parts about coaching the fifteen years you've been
doing this.
Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
It's like, this is going to be a terrible analogy.
So it stayed with me here.
Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
But it's like the guy that walks into a strip
club and wants, like a captain, save ah.
Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Everybody. I feel like that's me as a coach.
Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
I want to like save everybody, but some people that
they don't want to be saved.
Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Yeah right, there's the Captain sable Off.
Speaker 6 (01:10:05):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Oh, thank you so much guys for having me here.
Bye bye bye.
Speaker 4 (01:10:12):
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